(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

wendyg,
I don't agree that the child do not know anything. Actually everyone suffers…of course can live happily as well but provided circumstances allow it ie. rich enough to employ maid to look after, enrol for special needs school, family are supportive, etc etc. If the parents die early, who will look after the child? DS child also have the same average life span as a normal person, if no siblings or they are unwilling to take him/her in…then how? Once they grow up, they have to get used to getting stares from strangers, inability to attend regular schools, dependence on other people for daily needs, etc etc. MPO also.

My friend's aunt has 2 sons, both are wheelchair bound for life. I don't know what's their illness called but they can't talk properly and can't walk becos their hands and feet do not develop properly. She was devastated when she gave birth to her son more than 20 years ago. All their relatives shun them and her mil blamed her for her son's condition. She cried everyday for the first few years. When she was pregnant with #2, they were so worried and did so many test just to ensure everything was normal. Perhaps technology was not so advance at that time - they were assured everything is fine but history repeated itself. She gave birth to a second son with the same condition. She has 2 maids looking after each son permanently becos they can't do anything on their own. Can't even hold a spoon to feed themselves. And they worry everyday - What's going to happen to their sons when they pass away? They're not young anymore and their sons are only in their 20s. If they knew #2 will be the same as #1, they would never have brought him into the world to suffer.
 


I always ask myself this question when I see children with disabilities "If given a choice, would THEY want to come into this world?"
Parents can make a choice but the child has NO choice, whether they like it or not.
 
ya maybe it's better to terminate pregnancy of unhealthy child... if the child develops smthg during his life, then it's even more definite that NOTHING COULD'VE BEEN DONE and such kids also hv to live their lives as weirdos & such parents also hv to worry abt the same things. Maybe i shld ask my sister and my SIL how far they worry for their kids... with autism & slow development. From exchanges with them, they're focused on the positive - maybe no more tears to shed? No more kids so as to channel resources to care for their special children, faithfully attending therapy, researching on the condition, helping them achieve next milestone, which are simple things like conversing, toilet training, feeding themselves..
i shall ask them if they could look into the future, would they hv terminated their pregnancies?

the kids that u come across... are they happy?
 
wendyg,
I've met them a few times. Generally they are happy but they get frustrated and angry all the time becos they can't express their feelings or communicate their needs properly and they can't do the things they want.

Autism and slow development may/can improve over time with suitable treatment. But DS and some other disabilities cannot be changed. Some tend to develop other complications as well. Moreover, disabilities are from birth, so they cannot even enjoy a short span of normal life.
 
Personally I think it really depends on what you think is right and where your faith is at.

Wendy's faith is fm God and she believe with God all these can be conquer. For some, they will think that bringing the baby to the world will only be suffering for them therefore they terminate the pregnancy.

What I think is that before you do the test ask yourself this question. Will you terminate the pregnancy if the result is negative. If you think you will not terminate then don't bother to find out and be positive with it. Have faith in what you believe in and I personally believes that God will never fail.

Well, this is just my thought. I didn't do any oscar test during my pregnancy as my hubby outright rejected the doctor.
 
serene
ahhh, my faith is not as strong as u believe. "with God, all these can be conquered"
but with much fear & trembling, i would need to pray hard for strength & wisdom if i were faced with such a situation.
my Christian fren offered another perspective, even tho she will not terminate pregnancy, she says it's good to be prepared for special needs baby.
i done the neck thickness scan for both my boys, but any extra tests that involve $$, i opted out.
 
I don't believe in God. So it's left to our own hands to make the decision. Yes, we asked the question to ourselves, and the answer is yes, we will terminate the pregnancy if confirmed DS.
 
Kam
not confirmed... 99% accuracy.. but still more or less la.
what abt your family history & your husband's?

my fren did the OSCAR as her husband's side has family history. They're not Christian either.
 
pixiepixel,

i have 2 dogs.
what is your dog's name? Snowie & Rainie
how old liao? 4 & 3 yrs old
male/female? both female
living with you now? yes
eat what kind of food? nutra gold salmon dog food

you never ask wat breed...

mine are both westies.
 
Luvv, tell you, now I super regret grumbling that I was fat when I was younger. Now think back, really regret that I was so vain.

I was going through my clothes last week and I passed a whole load to my sis and mum. I cannot imagine I could actually fit into some of the berms and tops. Now the happiest are my mum and sis, since they get to keep my stuff. Somemore I even ge kiang, buy during my first pregnancy so after deliver can wear. DUh duh me right. Shoes also, now my feet went up 1/2 size, alot also cannot wear.

The thing is, if my hubbie is fatter not so bad le, at least I stand next to him I look small. He even more conscious than me. Currently he is only about 10kg max heavier than me, so I was telling him by the end of my last tri, I confirm heavier than him lo.

ps: jus realised that I never post this before i slept last night. kekeke.
 
Wendy, I only saw the poster at my block. Haven't go and ask yet, hee. :p

Down syndrome child
Rationally, I think I'll abort because he/she will have more suffering than other children who are normal. And if he/she ask me why I bring him/her into this world to suffer, I can't answer. Emotionally, I hope I never have to choose. Because I know even if I abort, I'll live with the guilt that will be with me forever, and be reminded everytime I see a DS child and wonder if mine will be like that if I have chosen to give birth to him/her. Either way, it's not an easy decision.
sad.gif


Blessedbaby, forgot to check how much LNT lessons cost and is it inside parkway parade or not. Do you know?
 
<font color="0000ff">tongtong</font>

After the swimming-champion sperm meet with the egg, forms the embryo. Initially it's at 2 cells stage, then divided into 4, then 8, the 16, 32, 64,..... until millions of cells then the fetus finally forms. When the cells start to divide, the genetic material (DNA) inside the cells doubled and divided into 2 (a very complicated process). When a woman get older (ie, >35 years old), the process of DNA doubling and dividing may not be functioning as well, as the cells machinary is aging. And hence the DNA may not be doubled properly (eg, instead of from 46 doubled to 92, it creates 93 copies instead), or may not be divided equally after DNA doubled (eg, 1 cell has 45 and another cell has 47). The older the woman, the more chances that the cell machinary doesn't work properly, so higher chance to get DS and other genetically link diseases. Hope my explanation makes sense to you.

<font color="0000ff">wendyg</font>

No, DS is not inherited, so nothing to do with family history. This is a misconception. Though it is something to do with the DNA, it's not inherited. In actual fact, DS patients cannot be conceived.
 
Kam
That is a very detailed explanation on conception and formation of DNA. Nice read.

Down's Syndrome
I'm with the same view as kitsune. Being same age as Kam, I also worried if I'm going to encounter the same issues as Kam if and when I conceive #2. Kam, u oscar test only cry whole nite liao, if really cfm DS (touch wood), ru sure u hv the heart to abort? I've asked myself that question several times but no answer
sad.gif


Pixie
I also got doggie! Sadly I admit I've been neglecting her since got baby.

Name : Poochi
Age : will be 8yrs old this Oct
Sex : female
Yup, living with me
Diet : changed from eukanuba to health's science diet recently
Breed : Maltese
 
i rem when i was preg with #1 n gynae did a blood test (cant rem for wat reasons) and the blood test result wasn't satisfactory. the counter staff there called me n told me this "Dr wana see u n yr hb NOW." i was on my way home when i received the call. i cried n cried when i called my hb. he remained calm n say "let's see what's the issue abt". i kept telling hb, no matter wat happen i wan my bb! i will not abort.

i guess, such a decision is tough for mummies. Daddies mite not find it that tough cos they are not the ones "carrying" the bb while women tend to be emotional too.
 
hey grumpus
monday i on leave leh....u only coming down to polished on mondays?

i have 3 sachets for you...enough or not? paiseh, i think 3 sachets cannot match your wet wipes leh. u find something else to exchange? i only got 3 sachets left. got 1 mummy wanted everything, so i sold her the main bulk of it...
 
today ST reported that Lisa in the spree/BP section who conned mummies 30K arrested....60 people had filed police reports
woah!

btw, robinson got baby sale...a lot of stuff...1 page of advert, major brands on 20% discount
 
pixie,
ya i usually go polished on mondays. next thurs i will be there from 4pm but will be bz leh cos hosting a party
 
mylvera
apparently arrested leh. not having an accident or lying in hosp leh...

grumpus
like that har, if you are not rushed for it, u come collect next next monday lah...i pass u the sachets...foc lah. me 3 sachets cannot match your wet wipes
 
Mummies,

Check with you esp those who lve babies with babysitter at nite. Did your baby reject you when u bring them back home?

Sometimes i left my boy overnite at my mum's place &amp; bot him back on alternate days. The problem is that he seems to be attached more to my mum than me. Few days ago, we tried to bring him home &amp; he can cried all the way in the car from my mum's hse to my hse. In the end, i asked my hubby to u-turn back to my mum's hse. Upon seeing my mum, he stopped crying.

Hubby &amp; me were really depressed. In the end, I was the one crying on the way home w/o my boy cos' felt so lost.I totally lose my confident to bring him back every evening, keeping my fingers cross that he will follow us back home happily.

This has happened twice this week. The 2nd time, we managed to coax him with other toys. But halfway home in the car, he cried &amp; looked for my mum again. Best part, cried until puke out the milk all over me in the car. However, i managed to calm him down by giving him bread &amp; playing the Barney DVD at home. It took almost another 1 hr for him to adjust &amp; accept us at home.

I'm really totally exhausted if he con't with his crying game everyday plus my tummy getting bigger &amp; find more difficult to carry him. Very Fan ah ;(
 
Mandy,

Up to 19 months, only 1 jab for chicken pox. Not sure if need booster jab after that or not. It's in the health book, you can check.
 
janbb,

my #1 doesnt want to sleep with me. he has been sleeping with his grandparents daily (from Sun-Thurs) and we always have prob on Fri-Sat. I am more or less "used" to it when he kept crying for my MIL. Sad but what to do?
 
janBB you are not alone
my boy sticks to my mil more than me nowadays. yes, i feel sad, but this is understandable. just imagine your boy spending most of his time with your mom...of course he would prefer your mom more.

when im at my mil place, my boy wants my mil to hold him, not me. initially i felt very down too, but i tell myself that i should cherish each and every moment i have with him; instead of dwelling on the unhappy stuff...

during weekends, he sticks to me more. when i bring him back to my mil place, he wants me to hold him more than my mil. they have short term memory so they will always stick to the main caregiver....hey not to make comparisons, but my dog is like that too!

cheer up. once they grow up, they will make choices to stick to certain people. this is inevitable.
 
JanBB...sorry to hear about your situation. But has this been all along since young? It's possible that at this age your boy is beginning to have more seperatation anxiety and prefer some pp over others? I mean, of coz it can't be helped that maybe at this stage he prefers ur mum over u..but I think dun stress urself too much over it ya..since u are having ur second one. I'm sure he will get over this phase with time??

For me, I bring my son home every night...I duno if that helped..but my son's quite sticky to me..he got no problem going home or gg to my in laws place...though at times he seem to want me still..but he seems ok to go to my in laws place in the mornings...

Cheerr up JanBB...maybe just cuddle him a lot..sayang him a lot..hahaha..i also duno..
 
Hi mummies, can I ask something to those are Christian believers?? What would you do if your MIL somehow taught your son the GuanYin idol in her house is for 'bai bai' and even showed him the 'bai bai' action - meaning hands together like 'gong xi gong xi' action???
 
janBB
on wednesday nights that i choose to stay over at my mil place so as to spend more time with my boy, my boy will cry his lungs out when i put him to sleep. he will look at the door to see if my mil will step in...he wants my mil to put him to sleep. so in the end, i have to spend more time putting him down...sometimes my mil come in to take something, he will quiet down immediately and look at her happily....damn sad rite...mummy right in front of you but you dont want her
what to do, my mil spend more time with him mah
 
JanBB
i totally understand how you are feeling. though the only different thing is that my #1 is okay to follow me home on the weeekends. i totally understand the part tummy getting bigger and it's really difficult to carry and catch up with #1. i am coming to my 7th mths, and i am feeling rather depressed at times too. and considering i still gotta do housework. somehow i am depressed at the part that i felt that i have shortchanged my #1 and deprived her of outings. because it's really tough for me to bring her out alone as hb usually have work committments.

but nonetheless, lets all JIAYOU tgt ok.
happy.gif
 
mylvera,
But your MIL staying with you rite? At least u still can see your boys. Is it becos' they are too used to them &amp; thot they belong to them instead knowing that we are the "real parents"?
I dunno what i shld do men. Think my boy is very stubborn, cry all the way to get what he wants.

Hubby again ask me to quit &amp; be SAHM, even want me to give up my 4 mths ML. Think my hubby is sort of perfectionist, hoping to see babies &amp; me waiting for him back from home everyday instead of seeing babies behaving this way. Hai, fan fan fan...

pixel, crystal &amp; hammies,
Ya over the weekend, he will stick to me more. But weekday can forget me so easily. I also dunno why this happened twice this week. He used to be ok if i told him that we are going home &amp; he will wave to my parents. And back home, he will play &amp; sleep with us. Really hard to catch baby's mood.
 
Down's Syndrome
Kam, my heart goes out to you when I hear the result of your blood test, I had experienced this before,before last pregnancy, my chances was like 1 in 116 then.

I did a lot of research, the blood tests wasn't at all accurate, it is only ard 70% if I am not wrong.

Don't worry and be happy. Positive thinking have good and healing power, this is what i learn from "The Secret" movie that I watched recently.
 
Janbb,

Why not consider to bring your boy back every night for awhile. Let him get used to going home everyday? Once they got used to it, then do alternate day or something like that?

I know it is tough but this is what I do everyday for my boy.
 
serene,
yes, i used to bring him back home every nite but since got #2, i feel more tired at nite that's y sometimes left him overnite. I hope this transition period will pass soon. Will try to bring him home everyday, also provided that he co-operates with us. Tired better than he rejecting us. Is really upset.
 
hello mummies,
am looking for Dumex Mamil Gold Step 3 and Step 4 to bring to hk trip. If u've, pls pm me. Tks.

pixie,
mailed out already. tks.

mylife,
am going from 28-Mar to 1-Apr. staying in royal plaza hotel (gd?). Am going disneyland on Mon. When shld I go peak? when shld I go Avenue of Stars and watch Symphony of Lights? Where to eat gd dim sum? Where other places to go? i haven go take HK map and guide bk.
 
Icy,

Thanks for the kind words. Yes, both hubby and I have got over it already. Now we don't think about it anymore. And we are very positive that baby is going to be okay.

JanBB,

Separation anxiety!!! For toddlers this age, it's important to let them know once mummy disappears, she will definitely come back on a certain time. They get the anxiety if couldn't see mummy after that certain time, and might react different when he sees you next. I know it's tiring having a big tummy and still have to take care of an active toddler, but think the best it's to bring him home every day, follow the routine, so he feels secured.

For our case, since we have no one in Singapore who could help us take care of Hao Re, we sure pick him up from school promptly everyday. And he knows it!! After his dinner at 5.50-6pm, he would start look at the door every now and then to see if we are there (teacher told us this).
 
Janbb,

Dun worry is part of growing up stage. Javin used to be take care by maid in day and nite and practically the maid does everything for him. There was an occassion when my maid go for off day i took over to look after, he rejected to sleep and drink milk the whole day! only drink water on and off!!! That is even more scary, i was so worried how come my boy got so used to the maid. But 2 months later javin is ok liao. So not to worry, it is only temporary one. Just be more patient in coaxing him.....
 

JanBB, my cousin's kid is being looked after on weekdays by my unmarried auntie since he was 3 months old, parents only bring him home on weekends. Same problem, he prefers my auntie to his parents. There was once my cousin brought him home, he cry all the way, they spin around in the car to make him sleep, once he is asleep, they tried bringing him home. He woke up in his own house when they were trying to take off his shoes, cry until hysterical and refuse to take off his shoes and change to his pyjamaes because he wants to go back to my auntie's house. In the end, my cousin gave up, drove all the way back to Tampines. Because of this, I told myself no matter how tired and how many times she wake up in the night (she has never slept through the night until now) I also insist to bring back my gal every night even though when I went back to work, hubby wanted ILs to look after her at night and ILs were willin and stay only 5 mins walk away.

Be patient and don't take it personally. Try bringing him back more often. He'll adjust again. Jia you!
happy.gif
 
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