(2007/09) September 2007 MTBs

Re : maid

Had wanted to put up a trap to caTch maid red-handed but due to certain unforeseen circumstances (FIL decided to warn her today when I’m not around ), I decided to confront her last night in front of everyone. I asked her whether she knoes wat card i lost, she can clearly tell mi it’s my OCBC bank card…after much probing she finalli confessed that she kept the card under a tray of hsehold pdts after she found it inside my pocket…
Mi n hubby went her rm n search her belongings…we found :
1) a bunch of hair wrapped inside a plastic bag inside her cupboard – suspect used for blackmagic
2) some coins hidden in between the bedsheets in one of the cupboard in her room which belongs to us
3) $2 dollar note inside a angpow packet which she did not declare to mi
4) One of my shorts , SHE kept inside her cupboard
5) One curtain which I asked her to throw away as there were a lot of termites on it. She wash n kept it inside her luggage bag

After all these, the most ridiculous thing is that my FIL, hubby n BIL decided to gv her another chance n keep her! Really faint.
I hope she wont harm my baby. I realli dun agree in keeping her.
 


hi mummies,
Ohaiyo!

Chloe > after reading your story, cant you insist to change for another maid even thou your FIL & hubby disagree? After such incident, it may be difficult for you to trust the maid again and will also get suspicious of the things she's doing from now on.

The most scary part of the things she has done is no. 1...hopefully its her old hair and not your families.

Gonna decide if you really want to give her another chance. What was your maid response when you found all the evidence?
 
<font color="ff0000">amy, </font>
I also cant stand itch lor. =( Now i applying purelan so seems better but still got blood blisters.

<font color="ff0000">Emily</font>
I am ok with both just that i hope a decision can be made soon since now is already end of July, if gg to be on saturday then i need to take leave. If apply too late, my boss might not approve then i cant join you all liao.
At the same time, i think still got quite a few mummies haven reply their preference. Are they still keen?
If on Saturday, then i cant see En En walk, handsome Edison and Arisz and tristan right? Cos you all got shichida? =(
 
<font color="ff0000">Till date - this is the last reply</font>

Option 1:
Venue: Emily's place at Sengkang
Date: 17 Aug 2008 (Sunday)
Alt Date: 24 Aug 2008 (Sunday)
1. Emily + Edison + Hubby
2. Florence + Hazel + kor kor + helper.
3. natem + nate + daddy
4. Peapod + Caelen + daddy
5. funny76 + Summer + daddy
6. Irene + Jerald + daddy
7. Low_Family + Charlene + daddy
8. Chloe-laine + Chloe
9. totoro_bb + Kelly + daddy
10. magoo + Ayden + Mayvis + daddy
11. Cherbie + Prinzton + Daddy
12. Phoebe + Ah Beng Ryann + maybe daddy
13. Tiffany + Andrea + korkor(not cfm) + daddy + Helper
14. darmae + maegan + daddy n gor gor (but we are only avail on 17th, 24th is their bday celebration)
15.corrine + angelynn + daddy (maybe)

Option 2:
Stay with JWT <font color="ff6000">Saturday right?</font>
1. Peapod + Caelen + daddy
2. Row
3. Snowangel
4. funny76 + Summer + daddy
5. Irene + Jerald + daddy
6. Low_Family + Charlene + daddy
7. Chloe-laine + Chloe
8. magoo + Ayden + Mayvis + daddy
9. Phoebe + Ah Beng Ryann (daddy comfirm cant go)
10.darmae + maegan + daddy n gor gor
11.corrine + angelynn + daddy (maybe)
12.SuperCar + Mighty Warrior Kaylan + Daddy (maybe)
 
Option 1:
Venue: Emily's place at Sengkang
Date: 17 Aug 2008 (Sunday)
Alt Date: 24 Aug 2008 (Sunday)
1. Emily + Edison + Hubby
2. Florence + Hazel + kor kor + helper.
3. natem + nate + daddy
4. Peapod + Caelen + daddy
5. funny76 + Summer + daddy
6. Irene + Jerald + daddy
7. Low_Family + Charlene + daddy
8. Chloe-laine + Chloe
9. totoro_bb + Kelly + daddy
10. magoo + Ayden + Mayvis + daddy
11. Cherbie + Prinzton + Daddy
12. Phoebe + Ah Beng Ryann + maybe daddy
13. Tiffany + Andrea + korkor(not cfm) + daddy + Helper
14. darmae + maegan + daddy n gor gor (but we are only avail on 17th, 24th is their bday celebration)
15.corrine + angelynn + daddy (maybe)
16. bb_piglet + Ayden + daddy [can only do 17 Aug]

Option 2:
Stay with JWT Saturday right?
1. Peapod + Caelen + daddy
2. Row
3. Snowangel
4. funny76 + Summer + daddy
5. Irene + Jerald + daddy
6. Low_Family + Charlene + daddy
7. Chloe-laine + Chloe
8. magoo + Ayden + Mayvis + daddy
9. Phoebe + Ah Beng Ryann (daddy comfirm cant go)
10.darmae + maegan + daddy n gor gor
11.corrine + angelynn + daddy (maybe)
12.SuperCar + Mighty Warrior Kaylan + Daddy (maybe)
13. bb_piglet + Ayden + daddy
 
Elaine: I suggest you better change your maid! After all these saga, if I were you, I wouldn't dare keep her. Furthermore, she might bear a grudge against you and do harm to you next time. Better change! Do insist!
 
On the Mega Party, just for all's info, I have already cancelled the previous booking so it might not be available now. Someone might wanna check that out?

My opinion is ... since previously everyone seems to be more keen in having it at a condo function room than to have it at JWT, and that emily has already graciously helped to book, I feel we should just stick to that lor. Otherwise, we can never get things going.
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blueskye,
i totalli agree wif u n noe where u cuming from. but the MEN just dun get it?! maybe kena her blackmagic liao..?? i escaped cos i nvr eat the dinner she cook at home since i started wking ...thats abt 3 mths liao.
i wonder wats the hair for? she told mi it's a practice in indonesia to keep the hair tt they dropped during their menses, accumulate and then put it under a tree....
anyone heard of that?
the other tings i heard is tt the maid will burn their hair n add it inside during cooking for the masters to eat, so that they will like her and listen to her..small wonder why my fil like n side her so much n always gv her money..my hubby also wanna keep her after all these? i realli dun understand ...
 
Hi Justme,

Thanks for ur reply. Is indonesia muslim and singaporean muslim's practice the same?
So this fallen hair during menses thingy doesnt exist in ur religion? she say put under the tree, her hair will grow more on her head? heard of such things? she wan 2 grow so much hair for wat?
 
Elaine,

U better by hook or by crook get rid of ur dangerous maid in order to hav peace in ur family.......Got to strongly get ur hubby to support u...
 
funny, yes i knoe but the funny thing is my hubby n fil wanna keep her? wat pissed mi off was my hubby called mi last night to buy rice for him to eat even though she cooked his share.. He is scared to eat her cooked food now..and his relatives came over n cooked for his father to eat..i told him, wat for keep this maid in this hse and then end up all of u dunwan / dun dare to eat her cooking? i realli ##*%!@
Now i also dundare to ask her cook porridge/ mk milk for chloe...and the weird thing is whenever I pass CHloe to her, Chloe will always cry or ek ek n look at mi n want mi to carry her bk....this onli happen this 1-2 mths...is chloe trying to tell mi sumting but she cant tok? before tt Chloe was always smiling to her..I told my hubby but he still dun get it?!
 
U got to do wat u got to do...Tell ur hubby, "IZZIT HE WAN SOMETHING REALLI BAD TO HAPPEN B4 HE DO ANYTHING?" GOT TO PROTECT UR CHLOE...NO used crying over a spilt milk! Wat is done cannt be undone! Wake him up...Use Chloe to wake him up...at the mean time try nt to get Chloe near her...u nvr know wat the maid gg to do once she go crazy!
 
mummies, can bbs at this stage sense who is gd n not gd to them? and do u believe ur baby's reaction is a tell-tale sign or issit purely becos chloe wans mummy?

i also found out my maid lied to mi mking use of the fact that i dun tok to my FIL. She told mi she looong time nvr call bk to her family and i gv her pocket money $7.00 coins to mk call at the coin phone downstairs on SUN..then also happened that my FIL sudd chit chat with mi n tell mi that this maid has been going down to mk calls for at least 3-4 times when im not around these few days. The last time was on MONDAY afternoon, the day i discovered abt all her deeds at night. She is a big liar and dishonest. She very clever to mk use of the comm barrier between my family to get her way around. N the best part is : The $7.00 coins i gv her to mk calls were all intact ..Not a cent less...so tell mi where she get so much money to call so many times bk to indo?
 
Ask ur hubby to read our thread! Really crazy to keep tis maid....our BB r our darling...dun even wan a single bad thing to happen to them...nt taking any chances...
 
CHLOE-laine (amaratine) : I really think you shd change ur maid. and also let the agency know what happen , in case you goes to another famly and do her "bad magic" on someone else.
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And babies are smart ... you have to check chloe for any blueblacks ... mayb she pinch her?

my son used to bite my first maid from behind and he had blueblacks on his legs.( the first maid say he fell at the playground) I just beleive her but keith really dislike her. so we change her. Keith never bite my second maid at all and they are good friends till now.

hehe kids cant speak but they do it in actions!
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i dunno why i got so many problems in this family. N i keep quarrelling with my hubby over this maid. Becos they keep siding her. I just dun get it. if it's not black magic, then wat can it be?

I nvr mk up any story just to get rid of her..
U knoe i feel so pek chek, i feel like divorcing my stupid husband..

my stupid husband can tell mi last night that i must b hving depression n say i shld go bk to my mum plc with chloe so tt there can b peace at home...

i wont be surprise if i end up wif depression cos i have such unsupportive husband n family..
 
Good morning ...

Elaine: I think you have the right to decide whether or not to change the maid since you are named as the employer, not your hubby or your FIL. But also, there is never guarantee that the next new maid will be better lor ... sometimes it may be worse (touch wood). Employing maids depends on your luck lor ... and if you are into any religion, lotsa prayers!!!
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RE: Mega Party
Yes, we definitely need to move on lor ... now already coming to end-July liao ... have to confirm the venue and start planning. Btw I might not be able to make it on a Sun cos as usual, I will be spending the entire afternoon at Suntec (church) and after that have to go in-laws' place in the west ... hence Sengkang will be very far for me.
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Good morning mummies.
Wat a nice &amp; coozy weather to sleep today.

Phoebe,
I'm better liao no more fever but still got blocked nose &amp; sore throat. My boy also not well due to his sensitive nose haiz.. Was on half day yday cos my mum not well also. Try to clear my work today as i'll be on leave tmr &amp; fri too.
Btw, how's Ryann? Wat abt u? Feeling better?

Elaine,
Maybe u try to ask ur hb out for dinner &amp; hv a good talk with him. Talk some sense into his brain. If need, maybe can ask low's hb to talk to him. Most impt u must stay calm &amp; dun stress. U can handle this situation well if ur hb support u behind. Let me kow if u need any help ok. Take care
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elaine, i feel very angry for you.

impt to garner your hb's support. u can't fight this battle alone. how about trying the soft approach w your hb. guys and their pride.

u are fighting it so aggressively that it is hard for your hb / FIL to just backdown and listen.
 
irene n pillow,

thank u for ur post. i tink i shld be hving depression already cos last night i hv thoughts of jumping down n ending my life. i dun feel like going to work, thinking of MIA today. just feel like staying at my mum plc n nua with chloe..dun feel like doing anything....
y have i become like this?
 
Good morning Ladies..

Elaine
Not to frighten u, just to share something my hubby told me happened to one of his staff..
His staff also employed an indo maid, then there was once the maid asked the employer to post letter for her.. dunno due to wat, the employer opened the letter n saw his family pic in it..
so out of curious, the employer gave the letter to someone who knew how to read javaese.. n found out that the maid actually sent the pic back to ask her family to perform BLACK MAGIC on them!!

So from my point of view, is better u change ur maid n ask ur hubby to WAKE UP!!

I think ur relationship with ur hubby has been very "strange" due to ur fil n maid.. maybe like wat Irene suggested, u should date him out one night n hv a good talk.. is not good to u both n also to Chloe..
Pardon me for being Kpo..

Please dun escape from anything happened.. u still need to take care of CHLOE... SHe is the reason tat u need to be STRONG..
(I feel so heartpain for u)...
Take care.. give me a call if u need help or someone to talk..
 
Elaine,
Pls dun think negatively. Not worth to do such thing just bcos of ur maid. I may not know how to console u but most impt to u now is ur gal Chloe. She still needs u &amp; also a daddy tat can dote on her. Life still moves on... U can't avoid it if things really wan to happen. U really need to be firm &amp; stay strong for Chloe.
 
magoo,
yes i heard alot of black magic stories..some maids also send hair of employers to ask their family to perform black magic. they can do alot with photos n hair.
even though i m hving depression, but i m still clear headed tt i didnt malign her, or it's my imagination that she steals n all these. u all must believe mi.
to keep her in this hse, will aggrevate my condition cos i will constantly worry everyday wat she'll do to my bb.
magoo u r not kpo. thanks for offering ur advice. i feel very lost now. shld i see psychitarist / counsellour / doctor or wat? wat shld i do now?
 
hi elaine, for a change, how about stop the fighting. take your mind away from trying so hard to fight your family. for chloe.
since the ever quarreling and arguing doesnt help and it wearing everyone down at home with this war. how about , do a total change from today.
dun argue, keep quiet, just observe.

what do you hope for at the end of the day ? a happy family right ? leave the maid the issue for the time being.
be at peace w your hb. be the xiao nu ren again. its hard for your hb to face an angry wife for so long.
 
Elaine,
U should calm yourself down now..
Then think for yourself wat is the best solution to all these??
But definitely cannot think of ending ur life or any other silly thoughts... ok?
 
elaine, of course you are not a terrible person. you are just tired.

try not to focus on the negative things of the maid and your FIL if you can help it.

just remember chloe and why you married your hb in the first plc. how were you like back then. re-live the moments.

i have PM you the link and helpline. hope it helps. i have called before. they are very nice and professional. put thigns into perspective.
 
elaine
i think moving to your mum's place is a good idea for now ... is that a feasible option? can ur mum care for chloe or infant care? pls look after your mental health ... if you everyday go home to a place u cant find peace, it is really v bad for your mind... let us know how we can help u ok?
 
try the counselling first. if you feel you would like to see a psychiatrist, i have a good recommendation. you can PM me if you feel the need later on.
 
elaine,
the hair you found gives me creeps.
like rest of the mummies, i strongly feel you shldnt keep her.

re : baby's sense
i strongly believe in this too. we had a filipino maid prior to this burmese maid.
maegan dun like her at all... she always refused filipino maid to carry her since birth. we also duno why. as for darius, he plays with the filipino maid but only when we are in the premises... if we walk out of the living area... he will quickly stop playing and run to us. after she left, darius uttered a sentence. 'mummy, auntie cat wun come back rite?'.. when i say nope.. he left out a loud 'yeah'. now with this burmese maid, he can play with her even having the door closed.
it makes us wonder what happened.. hubby dun wan to probe cos he dun wan to remind darius of what 'had' happened... let it rest.


Em, Blue,
mega party.. yes. lets move on. lemme noe hw can i help..
 
i think there are thousand and one stories on black magic, maids and baby sense. lets not dwell further into negative aspects as its plays on the mind and scares the person into more fearful thoughts.

look ahead and be positive
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Elaine sorry to know so many things have happened... really do not know what to say but angry very angry with ur hubby for letting u fight a battle all by yourself... siding an outsider instead of own wife.. sign.. he really needs to be slap to make him wake up!!!!!!! Seriously do u want my hubby to talk to him? We don't mind really let me know via hp k
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I am always here for u.. sorry long time no sms or email u me busy super busy with work lately boss ask me to do some project lor
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Elaine.. if i am you.. yes i would choose not to fight.. for chloe and ur own sake move back to ur mum family for the time being.. let those stupid guys in ur home stay with the "nice" maid they claim lor see how they "die"! just have some peace, get away from all the nonsense move back to ur family where u find more warmth since ur hubby also ask u to do so... I tell u when he cannot stand his fear for the maid himself ( soon which i think cos he already dare not eat the dinner she cooked) and he feels empty to go back to a home with no chloe and wife then maybe his fear slowly creeps in and he would make a decision.. guys are like that la need to be left alone.. when we quarrel, nag and yell at them they like don't see the big pict don't know how to think right n straight!!

We are all behind u ok.. feel free to call, sms or post cos we are always glad to hear from u dear elaine!
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i agree with blue on the mega party issue.. think we stick to emily function room and move on
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I can help out too let me know
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thanks!
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Elaine

Its frustrating when things like this matter.
Recently I saw an advertisement on the TV on Dengue fever.
The mother was so guilty that she did not change the water in the household which results in her beloved boy hospitalized.
Maybe u can use this adv and hint yr family that if you don’t send the maid back, when nasty things happened, do I have to look back and regret? Regret that nothing has been done to avoid this from happening?

I feel a lot for this adv. After being a mother, child is my first priority. Always must protect them from all harms.
 


Elaine,
hope your maid issue will ease out soon. I think the best is for you to go back to your mom's with Chloe so the menfolk can realise what they're doing wrong, which is deciding to keep the maid. Keeping hair during menses is more of a superstitious thing, no such thing in Islam. But there are stories about hair being used for blackmagic, so hope you be careful. My bet is if you're uncomfy with her already that's it. No point consoling or trying to tell yourself to accept her. Hope the menfolk get it soon.

Mega Party,
since I've crossed over to The Dark Side and become an EnjoyAtHomeMom, I hv some free time on hand. If anyone needs help coordinating the party, just give me a buzz on msn!
 

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