(2007/08) August 2007 MTBs
- Thread starter jete
- Start date
bundle_of_joy
New Member
Hi mummies,
Long time never log in. How is everyone doing?
Long time never log in. How is everyone doing?
Mummies, sharing this with you all
So touching!
妻子的空位 (The irreplaceable void)
是一篇很值得分享的故事
A story worth sharing
我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.
There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:
兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.
自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.
就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門?f，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去
看才藝表演的日子。
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by....Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....
I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。
And one of the letters broke my heart....
親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?
讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
給 已經結婚的女同事：
不要加太多班，工作做不完，一定是公司的某些地方出問題了，一定要將問題反應給妳的老闆，一直加班也不見的有用的，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝。
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
給 已經結婚的男同事：
不要喝太多酒，不要抽太多煙，請問我們的生意，我們的客戶，有比我們的身體重要嗎？
一定要想一想，有沒有辦法做到客人非我們不行，我們的差異化在哪裡，我們是否真的懂客人的心，這比拼命喝酒，還重要，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝和你的愛人。
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
給 還沒有結婚的男同事和女同事：
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
美其實是從愛自己的身體開始 --（蔣勳，身體美學）。
無入而不自得 -- （孔子）。
妳/你們一定要很自在，工作才能做的好，如果工作讓你/妳們的心情做的很辛苦，代表的是我們的公司不夠聰明，那也是公司什麼地方不對了，要勇敢的說出來，不要讓不聰明的工作與老闆，傷害了妳/你們的身體。
So touching!
妻子的空位 (The irreplaceable void)
是一篇很值得分享的故事
A story worth sharing
我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.
There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:
兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.
自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.
就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門?f，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去
看才藝表演的日子。
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by....Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....
I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。
And one of the letters broke my heart....
親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?
讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
給 已經結婚的女同事：
不要加太多班，工作做不完，一定是公司的某些地方出問題了，一定要將問題反應給妳的老闆，一直加班也不見的有用的，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝。
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
給 已經結婚的男同事：
不要喝太多酒，不要抽太多煙，請問我們的生意，我們的客戶，有比我們的身體重要嗎？
一定要想一想，有沒有辦法做到客人非我們不行，我們的差異化在哪裡，我們是否真的懂客人的心，這比拼命喝酒，還重要，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝和你的愛人。
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
給 還沒有結婚的男同事和女同事：
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
美其實是從愛自己的身體開始 --（蔣勳，身體美學）。
無入而不自得 -- （孔子）。
妳/你們一定要很自在，工作才能做的好，如果工作讓你/妳們的心情做的很辛苦，代表的是我們的公司不夠聰明，那也是公司什麼地方不對了，要勇敢的說出來，不要讓不聰明的工作與老闆，傷害了妳/你們的身體。
An_gal choco
Yeah, I was tearing as well..
Just yesterday, I was so furiously spanking Meg’s hands.. coz she took my hp and then dropped it on the floor..
She was sobbing and told me “mummy, I just wanted to pass it to you”
So guilty, kids are really innocent ler.. what she wants is to pass my hp to me, that’s all. Yet all she got is spanking from mummy coz she dropped the hp onto the floor..
Yeah, I was tearing as well..
Just yesterday, I was so furiously spanking Meg’s hands.. coz she took my hp and then dropped it on the floor..
She was sobbing and told me “mummy, I just wanted to pass it to you”
So guilty, kids are really innocent ler.. what she wants is to pass my hp to me, that’s all. Yet all she got is spanking from mummy coz she dropped the hp onto the floor..
my hb forward this to me this morning...
USED vs LOVED
While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.
When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.
Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
The child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .
Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.
Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.
USED vs LOVED
While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.
When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.
Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
The child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .
Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.
Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.
Cola,
yes I did things like that too couple of times, when Ike was being difficult, then I realized he only wanted to do things I train him to do first before doing what I want him to do.. like bathing / puting on clothes he will make my life difficult but turn out he just wanna put away teh dirty clothes first before going to his room. Now I am training myself to "listen" to him..
yes I did things like that too couple of times, when Ike was being difficult, then I realized he only wanted to do things I train him to do first before doing what I want him to do.. like bathing / puting on clothes he will make my life difficult but turn out he just wanna put away teh dirty clothes first before going to his room. Now I am training myself to "listen" to him..
<font color="ff0088">rc_cola, nining
I think many of us here can readily admit we also committed the same mistake.
Even for me, I did commit the same mistake on Tricia.
Feel guilty but lucky thing is kids forget after a few days.
Even though they r angry with us, they dun hold grudges against us.
Like nining, I will wait for tricia to finish her action before reprimanding her.
</font>
I think many of us here can readily admit we also committed the same mistake.
Even for me, I did commit the same mistake on Tricia.
Feel guilty but lucky thing is kids forget after a few days.
Even though they r angry with us, they dun hold grudges against us.
Like nining, I will wait for tricia to finish her action before reprimanding her.
</font>
Nining
Ya.. sometimes they are just trying to be very independent.. but we adult just cant help but to think that “they are doing more hazards rather than help” I think that’s y we tend to scold them for the “innocent” things that they are going to do.
I told her many many times that hitting ppl is wrong but yet I hit her!! She must be thinking mummy told me hitting is wrong, but why did she still hit me.. arghhhh!!! Sometimes I really wish that my patience level is 1000X than what I have now..
Choco..
Tho she didn’t forgive me, yesterday I gave her a kiss before sleeping, she gave me that huge big smile and kissed me back.. guess she probably dun understand what is “forgiveness” at this age..
Ya.. sometimes they are just trying to be very independent.. but we adult just cant help but to think that “they are doing more hazards rather than help” I think that’s y we tend to scold them for the “innocent” things that they are going to do.
I told her many many times that hitting ppl is wrong but yet I hit her!! She must be thinking mummy told me hitting is wrong, but why did she still hit me.. arghhhh!!! Sometimes I really wish that my patience level is 1000X than what I have now..
Choco..
Tho she didn’t forgive me, yesterday I gave her a kiss before sleeping, she gave me that huge big smile and kissed me back.. guess she probably dun understand what is “forgiveness” at this age..
Zhu
Er.. it’s not the tendency to hit ppl, but she does what we do.. so when we disagree with her (dun let her do certain things), we spank her (as being naughty so to speak), same thing.. when she wanted something and we dun let her, she will beat us.. again she imitates us..
She wont hit ppl for no reason tho..
Arghh… I really really mustn’t spank her.. have promised myself lots and lots and lots of times, but sometimes just cant help but spank her!
Er.. it’s not the tendency to hit ppl, but she does what we do.. so when we disagree with her (dun let her do certain things), we spank her (as being naughty so to speak), same thing.. when she wanted something and we dun let her, she will beat us.. again she imitates us..
She wont hit ppl for no reason tho..
Arghh… I really really mustn’t spank her.. have promised myself lots and lots and lots of times, but sometimes just cant help but spank her!
cola/zhuzhu,
i guess when we beat/spank our child have to tell them why we are doing it to them....and have to always tell them that beatting people is not right...
we will try to limit beating her on her hand once only...and we will tell her what notti actions that she have done we don't like
i guess when we beat/spank our child have to tell them why we are doing it to them....and have to always tell them that beatting people is not right...
we will try to limit beating her on her hand once only...and we will tell her what notti actions that she have done we don't like
<font color="ff0088">Wise
I do that.
After I hit her (I try not to cos they really mimick us),
scream at her (I also try not to but somtimes hard to control my level of volume),
make her go time-out aka ignore her for 5mins..
I will explain why I did all that and usually we kiss and make up. She will then repeat to me: no do this ah... cannot touch etc etc </font>
I do that.
After I hit her (I try not to cos they really mimick us),
scream at her (I also try not to but somtimes hard to control my level of volume),
make her go time-out aka ignore her for 5mins..
I will explain why I did all that and usually we kiss and make up. She will then repeat to me: no do this ah... cannot touch etc etc </font>
i also agree that "spare the rod will spoil the child" but so far i feel i have not reach that stage yet...
he has not done anything that really really really anger me.
i realise when i spank him is when my hb dun wan to help me, i get angry with my hb but i vent my anger on my boy if he refuse to listen to a small small instructions...
i admit its not good, i am controlling that...
back to the naughtiness..i think in every family, we gauge naughtiness very differently.
like for my case, my boy dun finish his 6oz milk, dun sleep until its 12am...for me i can still tolerate all these..i feel its really small issue but to some family, they feel its not accpetable and will scold or beat...(my friend if his 20mths boy still dun sleep at 10pm, they will cane him liao)
so i guess...as long as we dun go overboard with the beating..its still alright...
he has not done anything that really really really anger me.
i realise when i spank him is when my hb dun wan to help me, i get angry with my hb but i vent my anger on my boy if he refuse to listen to a small small instructions...
i admit its not good, i am controlling that...
back to the naughtiness..i think in every family, we gauge naughtiness very differently.
like for my case, my boy dun finish his 6oz milk, dun sleep until its 12am...for me i can still tolerate all these..i feel its really small issue but to some family, they feel its not accpetable and will scold or beat...(my friend if his 20mths boy still dun sleep at 10pm, they will cane him liao)
so i guess...as long as we dun go overboard with the beating..its still alright...
<font color="ff0088">Choco
I believe all the mums in this thread know how to handle anger mgmt
I usually warn Tricia 3x, sometimes she reli test me right to the edge leh...
When she dun sleep, rarely..
I get so fed up I scold her loud loud, next 5min sleep liao
U tell me how lah</font>
I believe all the mums in this thread know how to handle anger mgmt
I usually warn Tricia 3x, sometimes she reli test me right to the edge leh...
When she dun sleep, rarely..
I get so fed up I scold her loud loud, next 5min sleep liao
U tell me how lah</font>
Cola,
Ike understand very well what "I am sorry" meant.. when he's in his stubborn mode, e will refuse to say sorry with pouting mouth and angry face.. I believe at that time he thought he was right.. But when he is in playful mode and has enough rest, he will say sorry and stop doing the thing for at least 5 minutes before he forgets and of course RE DO it!! hahaha..
Wise,
what I dont understand is why the mother didnt try to break the beating??? If I were her I know I would.. 1 person can went beserk, but mother should have the protective instinct towards her own children's lives..
Ike understand very well what "I am sorry" meant.. when he's in his stubborn mode, e will refuse to say sorry with pouting mouth and angry face.. I believe at that time he thought he was right.. But when he is in playful mode and has enough rest, he will say sorry and stop doing the thing for at least 5 minutes before he forgets and of course RE DO it!! hahaha..
Wise,
what I dont understand is why the mother didnt try to break the beating??? If I were her I know I would.. 1 person can went beserk, but mother should have the protective instinct towards her own children's lives..
zz,
tricia testing boundaries.....got to let her know where u stand....
Nining,
some families believes that when one party is discipling the child, the other should not be involve...maybe the same applies to this family..except that she didn't know that things can get so out of hands...
tricia testing boundaries.....got to let her know where u stand....
Nining,
some families believes that when one party is discipling the child, the other should not be involve...maybe the same applies to this family..except that she didn't know that things can get so out of hands...
<font color="ff0088">nining
Tricia also displays the same thing.
She can say "Sorry" very well now, sometimes too stubborn to admit her mistake.. sigh
Once I was so angry with her I ignored her for quite some time.
She came over to me and say: mama.... sorry and hugz... aw man!
kids are hard to understand!
I agree the mum shld break the beating.. Dun understand the dad.
Maybe he heartpain the bloody pack of fag</font>
Tricia also displays the same thing.
She can say "Sorry" very well now, sometimes too stubborn to admit her mistake.. sigh
Once I was so angry with her I ignored her for quite some time.
She came over to me and say: mama.... sorry and hugz... aw man!
kids are hard to understand!
I agree the mum shld break the beating.. Dun understand the dad.
Maybe he heartpain the bloody pack of fag</font>
nining, zz, wiselyn
according to the newspaper report, the mum is attending to the 2 other kids crying in the room, by the time she came out, dun know how long has past liao...
at least ur kids still know how to say sorry, mine, i think he knows the meaning band refuse to say it...
then if i angrily ask him, can u do this? he will say cannot but still no apologies...
according to the newspaper report, the mum is attending to the 2 other kids crying in the room, by the time she came out, dun know how long has past liao...
at least ur kids still know how to say sorry, mine, i think he knows the meaning band refuse to say it...
then if i angrily ask him, can u do this? he will say cannot but still no apologies...
<font color="ff0088">Choco
I think what they are trying to do is to get the father to admit and the mother to deny
So at least one can stay behind to look after the kids..
Her excuses are meaningless cos if a child is badly beaten, her cries will be so deafening and shrill that it will pierce right thru our hears.
Like what Nining say, mother's instinct..
imho, u dun ask Ze: how can u do this.
Instead tell him: U cannot do this. If u do this, this this etc etc will happen...</font>
I think what they are trying to do is to get the father to admit and the mother to deny
So at least one can stay behind to look after the kids..
Her excuses are meaningless cos if a child is badly beaten, her cries will be so deafening and shrill that it will pierce right thru our hears.
Like what Nining say, mother's instinct..
imho, u dun ask Ze: how can u do this.
Instead tell him: U cannot do this. If u do this, this this etc etc will happen...</font>
Wise,
I believe with this kind of man, it's not first time he went off ballistic like that.. Even if the mother didnt wanna show side when disciplining, she should be there to make sure it doesnt go out of hand.. they got 3 kids, sure each even got beaten up by that kind of angry dad.. Maybe even her ever got beaten up..If a person can hit a child until so badly I dont see why he has never hit his wife even if the wife is very submissive.
I believe with this kind of man, it's not first time he went off ballistic like that.. Even if the mother didnt wanna show side when disciplining, she should be there to make sure it doesnt go out of hand.. they got 3 kids, sure each even got beaten up by that kind of angry dad.. Maybe even her ever got beaten up..If a person can hit a child until so badly I dont see why he has never hit his wife even if the wife is very submissive.
Quickie as we just got back from phuket!
<font size="+0">sms news alert.
</font>
<font size="+1"><font color="ff0000">
leooh has given birth to her little gal at 2.42pm, the little one weighs in at 3.3kg. very round according to mommy. Congrats leooh and family. Enci is a big sister now!
</font></font>
<font size="+0">sms news alert.
<font size="+1"><font color="ff0000">
leooh has given birth to her little gal at 2.42pm, the little one weighs in at 3.3kg. very round according to mommy. Congrats leooh and family. Enci is a big sister now!
</font></font>
nining
good but tiring for hb and i. we need a vacation to recover. the hotel provided a crib for L but she refused to sleep in it, so in the end we all shared the king bed. hb and i whole body aching as the girls took up MOST of the bed. one morning hb told me he slept half the nite with one leg on the floor supporting him. LOL we swam quite a bit, thanks so much for ike's swim wear, P loves it, now I am going to get a similar one for her. think it keeps her warm more than her kofidence wrap. we figured out how to relax, hb one end of the pool, i am at the other end, and we made P "swim" from one to the other, while we push L in a float to each other as well. heehee. private pool is very shiok, no need to share my fats in public.
the resort was nice but funky. i think we prefer posh than funky so next time will try somewhere else. the one thing i didn't like was the bugs. the 2nd night i saw a huge spider and had to call the hotel to come deal with it. it took them a while to find the spider and i was dying. thinking how to sleep tonight if they dont find it. it was huge, the size of my palm without my fingers. then this morning when hb took a shower, there was another spider hiding behind the kids' shower gel, equally big!!
first time the girls slept in the bed tog, very cute. one morning we woke up to find them awake and playing/disturbing each other. then this morning i was awake, saw L woke up, turned sideway and tried to use her leg to nudge P. I didn't want her to wake P up so I touched her head, she realized I was awake and watching her and she gave me a sheepish grin.
and for any mommy taking flight/trips with their kids, get some sticker books. good for keeping them occupied. not the pasar malam kind with all stickers (those are good too just not as educational) but the story book kind. my sis got a bunch from a bookstore in people's park.
good but tiring for hb and i. we need a vacation to recover. the hotel provided a crib for L but she refused to sleep in it, so in the end we all shared the king bed. hb and i whole body aching as the girls took up MOST of the bed. one morning hb told me he slept half the nite with one leg on the floor supporting him. LOL we swam quite a bit, thanks so much for ike's swim wear, P loves it, now I am going to get a similar one for her. think it keeps her warm more than her kofidence wrap. we figured out how to relax, hb one end of the pool, i am at the other end, and we made P "swim" from one to the other, while we push L in a float to each other as well. heehee. private pool is very shiok, no need to share my fats in public.
the resort was nice but funky. i think we prefer posh than funky so next time will try somewhere else. the one thing i didn't like was the bugs. the 2nd night i saw a huge spider and had to call the hotel to come deal with it. it took them a while to find the spider and i was dying. thinking how to sleep tonight if they dont find it. it was huge, the size of my palm without my fingers. then this morning when hb took a shower, there was another spider hiding behind the kids' shower gel, equally big!!
first time the girls slept in the bed tog, very cute. one morning we woke up to find them awake and playing/disturbing each other. then this morning i was awake, saw L woke up, turned sideway and tried to use her leg to nudge P. I didn't want her to wake P up so I touched her head, she realized I was awake and watching her and she gave me a sheepish grin.
and for any mommy taking flight/trips with their kids, get some sticker books. good for keeping them occupied. not the pasar malam kind with all stickers (those are good too just not as educational
) but the story book kind. my sis got a bunch from a bookstore in people's park.