(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

Yvonne: And also.. You may think it's illogical.. But I think it should save some money if you go back to live with your in-laws. Just bear with me going through the points..

#1) You don't have to pay the HDB loan. Nick's burden can be easier.
#2) Make it a point that you're going to work, and therefore get help to work out the children's arrangements. For eg, rotate to bring them home; have a plan on what day to cook or buy dinner for them; and at least the ah mah is home, you don't have to worry no one is home with them.
#3) If there're moe people to share the cost, maybe it even makes sense to get a maid! This way, the maid can be taught to cook simple meals for the girls and ah mah, can do the household work, can keep the kids company, and with ah mah at home, ah mah can jagar the maid. And with all this, you can fang xin go and work.

Do I make sense?
 


Autum
Thank you, u are generous... But I cannot take ur gift... I think everyone here is too good...

Now tt I pour out everything... I still cannot decide...

Nick said : a normal Singaporean live nowadays, no one can save a single cent with such salary drawn( no matter how much) . Because, credit card bills, all kinds of sales... Many many reason... So, if he give mi 1500 n I go work to earn tt 420 extra, he rather I stay at home and continue to take care of house matters, he work extra hard to earn more den wad I can earn....
Does this make sense? This means he will work like crazy and I see his angry face everyday... He more I don dare to use his money... Cos really hard earn money...
sad.gif
 
yvonne: it seems.. as u write more and more.. and reveal more.. ur issue is self actualisation. u want to have something to live for.. and to live for urself.. the doc is saying.. the current circumstances will not change..the girls wun disappear.. they need pple to take care of them.. this wun change.. what the doc didn't say.. is how to manage this routine of life which you have settled urself into.. i like how u are starting to ask yourself all the questions.. it might seem to be thinking too much to some .. but for me .. i value what you are doing now.. because if u never quesiton ur current situation.. u can never progress..

having said that.. just mere questioning is not enough.. coz u can question till the cows come home.. and u dun move.. then it becomes whiny..

my question back to u.. WHY must u be bound to do all those things during that timing? WHERE are you rushing to?..

i asked myself those questions.. and i realised.. like what titu said. i am rushing to self actualise myself. once i got my aim/goal sorted out.. liek what AA said. i am much happier..

hmm.. i am going to be the Devil here.. can i suggest.. dun factor nick in ur consideration.. frankly speaking.. he has become an excuse NOT to do anything.. but eventually.. he doesn't benefit from u.. not being happy... right???
 
Yvonne,
How about rent out one room? This can lighten the burden.
You dun be too hard on yourself. Actually my hb dun ever mention i have no time for him. It's me who complain he have no time for me.
Maybe you have to let go some things. Weekend let your girls go your il place to play, then u and nick go out together.
Can Nick help in housework? Last time when no helper i spend sat morning doing cleaning up. Then sat afternoon, sunday can play and rest. If i dun do on sat morning, then i dun feel like doing and will drag doing it.
 
Yvonne: What time does Nick come home? Why does he say you'll have no time for him if you work? When he comes home, it should be about the same time you knock off and come home too right? Plus, if you stay with your in laws, both of you can also go pat tor once in a while, knowing the girls are home with someone keeping them company right?

Also, like what the mummies say here, you need to widen your circle of friends. If you go to work, there'll be more adult conversation - gossip here and there, and then you'll find it easier to pass time.
 
Aaa
Cannot... Now things are veri complicated in inlaws place... We are not going back... Debts tt my mil are carrying are much much more heavier... We don have bad debts so cannot say us... Lol! Erm... Den if we go back stay with them, no no.. Nick 6ft fish tank cannot fit... Also alot of things have settle down...

Haix, actually I m not ver bad after all.. If I compare to my inlaws... Also Becos of them nick is veri stress.. Cos if they no money pay, mean nick pay... Ai ya! Complicated!
 
Yvonne: Ok.. Good that that option is being ruled out.. We're making progress in accessing your situation.. How about going out to work? You need to have some independence.. Can't rely on Nick alone.. And hor.. don't consider another kid until finances are settled.. If Nick has to work himself crazy and comes home showing an angry face, that's no good and no go.

Next question is what job should you look for. When Nick says you have no time for him, does he mean a retail job? Cos shops open til quite late everyday? And you'll have to work weekends too? Is it?
 
Astro wad is self actualization?

I feel after I come in forum less, I become like tt!
sad.gif


Hg
Cannot.. Back to mi. I cannot stay with strangers... Including relatives n inlaws...

Aaa
He come back at 6.30.. But I have to settle the gals ma... So after everything finish, 10pm Liao ... Den Onli left 2hrs to talk to him or sometime I will wash up all the left overs in the kitchen... Den he also sometime keep doing his computers... Den is like, we must book a timing to sit down to talk or watch a simple show together at home... We veri seldom can go pak tor... Now he also cannot have the idea of leaving the kids to his parents.. Sure fall sick.. We don Noe y...
 
Yvonne,

You know, when I first started working, my pay is 1.8K. But really, it is not about the money. Of course, back then, I have no family and all so I just enjoy my work. Having your own money to spend is good, even if it is just a few hundred dollars. You earn it yourself! Besides, you can contribute to the family savings. Perhaps you shouldn't jump into full time straight away. Find a part time job. One that preferably coincides with the girls' time in school and then you can come home and fetch them back. Life is routine. You have a lot of excitement earlier, like moving house etc. and now, suddenly, everything seem to be the same day in and out so you crashed. It is somewhat like having a sugar high and then crashing later. Put your goals far away. You can't look at only today, tomorrow, end of the month. You have to look further ahead. Seriously, you are still very young!
 
Wahahahahahah! Astro! U made mi burst out laughing..

Aaa
Ya.. His fish ah, Mthly maintaining more ex den my Hp bill! :s I actually looking for clinic assistant... But can't find in neighborhood area... Now have a clinic willing to hire... But at Robinson road... Veri far... And timing not quite on the dot one...
 
Astro, hahha.. u funny! (halt the session!)

Yvonne,
I am not generous la. I am sure all the mummies here just want to help you get on your feet. and I think u should come into forum more! Sometimes the things we say here may seem very boliao but forum is also a way to interact mah. then u won't feel so alone and helpless.
 
Yvonne: Hey, take up that job! Go gain some experience first.. Strive for half a year or so, 9 mths maybe, and then with the experience, you can try at the neighbourhood clinics again.. Very few will take in someone with no experience, so if there's an opening, you should go for it!

Since you know abt the cost of keeping the fish, did you tell Nick to cut down? Why need 6 fish tanks??
 
Mejo
Ya.. Everyone keep saying I veri young , can wait... But I feel I should not wait... Wad part time job can fit in the timing with the gals ... I really can't think of any... Fastfood restaurant? Tt 2.50 per hr is crazy! Don Noe how ppl survive with so low income..
 
Aaa
Keeping fish to him is like a hobby lor. If compare having fish at home cost $100 per mth... Better den he go fishing weekly tt cost 100 each time... Meaning 400 per mth! More ex leh.. I rather he keep fish den going fishing ..
 
Yvonne,
if u already found a job as a clinic assistant, then go for it! Mai Tu Liao !!

My feel is that, there will always be a demand for clinic assistants.. if u can build your experience from this, then it can be a good long term job. Well, if u don't like it, then later on then find other jobs lor. But at least in Robinson road, is work "office hours".. i think if u work in neighbour clinics, may need to work till night time?
 
Yvonne: You answered the question.. Does he still go fishing now that he has the fish tank?

I think you're bored.. Come in and talk in the forum if you're bored.. I realise you're coming in lesser these days.. Thought you're busy.. But it seems you'rte quite free in the daytime, and so start to hu xi luan xiang..

If you want to work, really consider the clinic job.. If you want something bad enough, you must be prepared to make some sacrifices (wrt the children's arrangement).. There's no such thing as a "free lunch" so to speak.. No pain, no gain.. No short-cut..
If you're not willing to make sacrifices, and yet want everything, then you're just making things difficult with yourself.. And for that, no one can help you.. You need to help yourself..

I sound quite harsh hor??
 
Autum
Ya.. U have a point too... Hmm.. The dr allow mi to think abt it till 28dec... She is taking a break...
1300 will be too low anot? I seriously don Noe... And I need to manage my time with family n kids...
 
Yvonne,

Last time I do waitressing, it is 6.50 - 7/hour. You can try that. By the way, I'm not asking you to wait. I'm asking you to plan. You have to set your goals now while you are young and not live to regret it only when you are old. My mom took the 'N' levels English in her 50s. I think you can do it. Maybe you shouldn't aim to achieve all 5 credits within a year but at least, go for English. Only you can make your own life meaningful. Nobody can tell you what is or what is not meaningful. You have to figure it out yourself. Being a SAHM is meaningful. Being a career woman is meaningful. You are adding values to the lives of others and also yourself. Taking care of children is not easy. I can understand your frustrations because like last night, when I was on my way home at 11 plus, hb called to ask me where am I cuz YT refused to sleep. It seem like you are solely responsible for everything. That can be frustrating. You need to enrich your own life too but only with what is meaningful to you not others. The answer is difficult to find. Truly! But if you don't even ask, you will never find it.
 
yvonne,
$1300 is low.. but u have to honestly ask yourself, can you find a higher-paying job, with your qualifications and experience. I am not trying to sound mean or throw cold water on you. But we all have to face reality. I think for many sales-girl job in dept store, basic is about $1200 but there will be commission.. so i guess take home will be more.. BUT, those work on weekends and Public Holidays.. so that is another form of sacrifice too.. like what AAA said, there is no free-lunch. Sure got some sacrifices here and there.
 
Yvonne,

If you ask me, 1.3k is pretty good pay. Last time I get paid 1.8k with a degree cert and there are days when I work 12 hours. It is crazy and I actually seem to get poorer cuz I took a lot of taxis to work and eat out alot including dinner. But there are families in Singapore who survived on less than 2K a month! So I think 1.3k is a good start. I heard of someone, who doesn't have 'O' levels, start working in a bank and work her way up. She is earning more than me now and I think she is only very slightly older than me. She still doesn't have a cert because she couldn't pass her English! So, a start is a start, you have to start somewhere. Every journey starts with one step.
 
Mejo
Ok... So I tml go tAke the test first, pass or fail leave it to fate... Den 28dec I go meet the dr... Take up the job... I think I just face it la! Don wan to think Liao...

The prob is nick... Everthing I will ask for his advise... Hmm.. Maybe I should just do my way this time...
 
Yvonne: *nod nod*.. go for the job.. it is the opportunity which conuts.. go grab the clinic assistant post.. u have the flexibiity to make changes.. don't resist changes.. and yet yearn for it..
happy.gif


self actualisation ,, very loosely.. means.. doing what you want to do and finding joy in what you are doing.. v loosely.. erm.. autum might have a better and simpler def to express the same thing.. :p

1300? grab it.. for the time being.. 6 mths.. then see again.. after u get the needed experience..
happy.gif
 
yvonne: ya.. upgrading becomes more and more difficult when we get older.. coz we consider this and that. then have more and more excuses.. end up.. 'hanta kaki'..still marching on the spot..
 
Astro
I still don get...

Aaa
Ya.. Straight forward, if I get poke by needle, I choose my way... No regrets... Anyway if quit, den also won't do harm to mi or my family members... Don Noe wad I m worrying... Now I really call myself crazy...


Maybe after few mths I will start complaining, y I go take up the job n make myself so busy... Like using another hand to slap myself...
 
Nick always have this prob, I don make the move, he don move.. Like driving, i got my license first, he den scare lose face, quickly go take... Den house, if I Nv push him to the limit tt time, till now I think we Jia lat Liao... So hor, I will make the move again...
 
Yvonne: Aesthetics is a branch in medicine that specialises in beauty and skincare.. Eg: Plastic surgery, botox, rhinosplasty, slimming etc etc.. You're going to work in an asthestic clinic?
 
Aaa
Oh... Yup! The dr will teach mi to do laser for the patient.. N don Noe wad mask... But must make sure I m not scare of blood... I don Noe man... Will try, if cannot she will put mi just computer ... Lol!
 
Yvonne,
wow.. aesthetic clinic sounds very high-class! :p just try first. with your character, I am sure u can overcome any difficulties. But do laser for patient sounds scary! :p

self-actualisation: to fulfill your own inner needs. Like say some people want to climb Mount Everest - because they have this dream and wants to conquer the highest mountain. The end result is for some self-satisfaction that is not related to money..
 
Yvonne: Yah.. The clinic sounds like a GP clinic that provides asethetics services.. You'll get to see and learn a few things on micro dermabrasion, laser, botox, etc etc..
With this experience, you should be able to get a good job in a nearby clinic next time..
happy.gif
 

ok change topic.. :p Just to share..

This EV, always wants me to change her clothes/diaper.. cos she doesn't want maid to do for her.. then everytime, I will tell her "I don't want to change for you, u go look for auntie".. cos I want her to get used to having maid to help her. Sometimes she will let maid help her, but if she insists, then I will still change for her la.

Then yesterday, the same thing happened, so I told her to ask auntie.. she then took her shirt and went to EJ.. and ask EJ to help her!! Then this EJ help her to wear her shirt!! Very funny.. I see the 2 small kids.. korkor helping meimei to wear her shirt.. kekekek.. I found it cute and wen1 xin1 at the same time
happy.gif
 
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