(2006/09) SEPTEMBER 2006 MTB


melody, just happen today i was reading abt an article from ezyhealth magazine abt surviving the marriage after child birth.

it says one of the problems is scorekeeping. this's the first time i came across this word scorekeeping. it means to compare and complain who do what more, who spend more, who etc etc.

i dun rem the whole article la but the morale of the story is we've to think tt men and women think differently and tts the results. women tend to be more on the ball kind while men always think whatever they do it wont be enough to please us so they dun do it totally. something like tt.
 
Wow!

So many pretty babies girls here! It'd be so nice to have them all together for a photo!

Welcome to Gladys and Rexbabie! Your girls are so pretty! Must have inherited mommie's great looks
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Happy B'day to all babies who have come to their 7th mth hallmark! So exciting! They will soon be crawling, cruising...and becoming bigger bundles of joy!

Brenda,
Wow, i never really got to see Arianne before, but i must say, she's really gorgeous!!!

She looks so cheery, too!
 
jasmine
WAH! You super mum! I agree w you... it's really about planning... i've been doing the same too except less frequently.

sha
yah see i nice or not? I was thinking of you when i thot of suntec. Didn't know peachie also works there. heh... maybe we shd have lunch...

ilovebabies
what your clap very big! very cool! wah hahah
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BM
sure sure! weekdays better for me too... which day is good for you? me anyday except mon...

HUBBY HELP!
heh heh my hubby is also rare breed, he'll do everything, even when sophie was younger, he was the one that could soothe her to sleep. BUT NOW, mostly it's me doing it. But he's always available to help if i need to go out etc... But i'll still ask my MIL/Mum to help out coz he's a bit like Xena's hb - if Sophie's crying, he'll call from his computer, sophie you ok??? Duh!! yep...
 
for me, i oso hv this kind of feeling esp when im still breastfeeding now, a lot of time im just the one since he cant help in breastfeeding. i cant help but feel tt this bb is my responsibility alone only.

usually this feeling will explode when vented up for too long. otherwise usually im quite ok.

my hb ever take care of bb alone at hm. coz my policy is i wont let my mom take care of bb during wkend as she deserves a break.

but i need to attend religion mtg, so hb got to take over. as for facial, massage, hair cut, etc kind of luxuries i'll hv to take leave on wkday to do them. and tts oso why i now i seldom hv such luxuries already......
 
BM,rainnie,Q2V,

Thanks for sharing. Actually I knw can't expect much from him but somehow at times i would like to complaint mah... maybe he also stress from work therefore led to arguement tis mornin...

Sha,

U got one of the rare hubby who can take care of babies
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<font color="ff6000">blessedmommy,</font>

u're really inspirational! i'm seriously considering not to have another baby because i'm having such a tough time with just one and i have a helper to help me somemore....

wow! must learn from you! my own mum has always outsourced the childcare of my bro and me to nannies...even told me not to have so many kids coz very troublesome!
 
SHA,You're so lucky!

Jasmine, You're just as fortunate and should cherish the relationships with such ILs.

<font color="0000ff">BM</font>, he..hee, once in a while I just need to blow off some steam lah. My hubby is one of the normal breed but he's improving. Whenever I see my little gal's smile or raising her arms towards me, I know my efforts are not wasted.
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for me, i oso hv this kind of feeling esp when im still breastfeeding now, a lot of time im just the one since he cant help in breastfeeding. i cant help but feel tt this bb is my responsibility alone only.

usually this feeling will explode when vented up for too long. otherwise usually im quite ok.

my hb ever take care of bb alone at hm. coz my policy is i wont let my mom take care of bb during wkend as she deserves a break.

but i need to attend religion mtg, so hb got to take over. as for facial, massage, hair cut, etc kind of luxuries i'll hv to take leave on wkday to do them. and tts oso why i now i seldom hv such luxuries already......
 
BM,
Yes and I am surprise about it myself as well coz he dont look and sound like one. My hubby told me before Sherilyn was born that he wants to be involve in everything that has to do with our daughter. He wants to be there for her as well, I am of coz more than happy and he lives up to what he say. Nevertheless I am still the main care taken for Sherilyn and my hubby is the main giver for the family. We enjoy every moment we have and doing things together with our daughter as well. hehe
 
edksd
yah about breastfeeding, i also understand... same here... esp in the early months when i have to wake up every nite to feed sophie... super stressed man... sometimes was tempted to switch to FM so that hubby could also wake up to feed baby. Forgot to say, my hubby does almost everything EXCEPT waking up in the night. Only when i refuse to move n force him to go then he will go! Heh heh...
 
<font color="aa00aa">edksd</font>,

from ur previous posts, i can see that u're a very dedicated mother and kai is a very lucky boy as i can see that u're trying very hard to give the best!

hang in there! i think as a first time mum, we tend to be very stressed out...but alot of other experienced mummies told me that things will get better...esp with experience and learning to let go....ofcourse its easier said than done lah!

whatever it is, pls remember to take care of urself too!
 
Ling,

U also got one of the rare breed hubby.
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Jasmine,

Wow, it a great idea hor, 1 dating day every anniversary day of the mth. But i can't do this cause MIL already help to take care during wkday "bu hao yi shi" to ask her for help during wkend.

edskd

haha maybe it's true about the article hor.
 
edksd
yah... i agree w cheekz... do take time out for yourself too! I think sometimes i feel guilty for seemingly "dumping" sophie on hb so i hardly go for "self-pampering" but whenever i do, i always almost come back more refreshed and saner to handle anything that comes my way.
 
jasmine, i really envy ur regular dates w ur hubby leh. i wanted to hv something like tt too. but i just cant leave my bb alone leh to go enjoy ourselves (maybe once in a blue moon still ok la). i'll miss him like crazy. so end up we're having triple dates loh.

my hb asked me when can we go for holiday just the 2 of us w/o bb. i said duno. coz i was thinking i really cant bear to leave the bb out unless it's just 2D1N kind of holiday. i think im self torturing and i know it's not healthy.

can someone teach me how not to be so super-glued to my bb?
 
On hubbie,

Mine even more champion. Everytime Megan wakes up in the night for any diaper change or needed to be patted back to sleep, he'd be sleeping like a log. Then next morning he will tell me :" Megan good gal last night hor? she never wakes up" I will roll my eyes at him!

But husbands have different role, they contribute in a different way. Can u imagine if both parents behave like mamas to the baby.. they be fighting!
We the mummies dun mind doing anything for our babies, and it helps a great deal if the husband is supportive.. (sponsoring our shopping trips and an occasional bag helps too)!!

Oh and whenever me and hubbie need to unwind (like croaking at KTV)or mummy is in desperate need of a retail therapy, then my PIL and parents are more then happy to abduct my baby.
Me and hubbie going to St James Power station this weekend to make merry! Hurray!
 
melody
yah but there are good days n bad days for us too. It gets bad also when both are tired. so, don't give up and when you are more in the mood, maybe can chat w yr hubby abt how you feel? It's always good to talk about it...
 
cheekz, ling,

dun worry im still pampering myself but less often now. just had foot reflex today, body polish and body massage yday
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still waiting for a right time to go for facial and hair cut!

btw, do u all know of any place or any one who does personal image consulting? like helping u decide what's suitable for u to wear, what's not, etc. not those corporate type, more personal ones.

i heard there's a boutique in holland V and they do such thing too.
 
Melody,
i remember i vent on my hubby once about this issue as well. Then, now.. he actually really do helped out. Even though it's only weekend that we are really taking care of Wayne but two days r enuff to see how couples handle their babies.

My hubby cooks wayne's porridge, our meals plus do the laundry. I take care of wayne, bathe him... and he helps to clear the water in the tub, bring the clothes to wash etc....

Think most imptly, it's communication. Follow by, assigning little tasks for Mr Daddy so that you can focus on taking care of bb. Once a while, give them a more challenging task like feed bb and u stand beside and see how it goes.. Encourage and reward them.. I am sure most of us are 1st time parents who are still in the learning process.
 
boy, i wish i can get my act together and actually go out shopping...even with rae ann!

for all this time, i've been so dependent on hubby to take us out in the weekends...

sometimes i feel like a prisoner but i just don't have the guts to bring rae ann out because:

1) she only direct feeds so must go somewhere with nursing facilities
2) i don't dare to take taxi (i think some taxi drivers are crazy!), forget about buses!
3) i don't dare to take taxi so very hard to bring stroller, but slinging is very tiring after sometime
4) she doesn't have a fixed nap time, so i'm worried about her not being able to nap properly in the sling
5) now with her taking solids, i don't have a clue how/what to feed her when we're out...

any mummies have any ideas? sorry if i sound really idiotic lah...but i think i'm becoming dumber everyday....losing brain cells along with the hair...
 
Talking about rare breed hubby, i think i belong to the rare breed mummy!

haha.. Guess what, My hubby is the one who taught me how to bath Cayden, Change diaper, wash Cayden's clothes, making Cayden's puree and blah blah blah.. So, my only value is what else but my Boobs!! Thank goodness that my hubby cant bf Cayden, if he can, i am totally useless !! lol
 
edksd
heh heh that's another problem all together... last time when i was out, i used to call home every feeding time, nap time etc... to find out how sophie's doing. Crazy right? I think my MIL thot i was. But after going out more, it got better. But i still miss sophie a lot. Always end up shopping for her... ?!?!
 
Melody,
I agree with BM. Dont compare as there is no two of the same kind.

I too need to rush home every night to pick-up my girl as my hubby has to work late and even over the weekend. Try to talk to with him and see how it goes, I talk to hubby and he sees my point. Sacrifice is for sure but I believe it is how we compromise in giving each other some personal time.

If fact I am alone with Sherilyn most of the time over weekend and almost all holidays as well, so he makes up for it by doing little things like that.
 
cheekz, my experienced fren oso keep reminding me not to ignore hb becos of bb. but somehow i feel tt im being ignored leh.

rexbabies, wah! u n hb so happening!

i oso envy those of u who've ILs who're supportive and helpful. me dun hv leh.
 
cheekz, tt day i saw u n hb v loving kind of couple after turning back immediately u both held hands and walked together... aiyo....
 
Ling,

dont like that lah.. I know that i am quite hopeless! but hey, I am learning everyday and now I can take care of my son really well.. see how chubby he is now !! hahaa
 
ling, yes, me too... v funny... nothing to buy oso need to go kids department to look look see see like as if everything there is new to me.
 
cheekz
heh heh no worries if you can still joke about it, you're still quite smart! Heh... are you SAHM too?

One way is to go out with other SAHMs! In that way you can help each other when your baby is fussing n also learn from each other....
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As a SAHM myself, these are some things that i've been doing -

Feeding >> Sophie also direct feeds so i only go to places where i know where the nursing room is. Or i'll call the shopping center to ask first.

Transportation >> Yah some taxi drivers are quite crazy. I kena one that saw me w sophie n pram n struggling and asked me - er you need help or not? DUH!!!! But generally it's ok... most are helpful n kind. They'll norm help w the stroller.

Nap time >> last time whenever i go out w my hubby, i'll train sophie to sleep in the pram. so that when i'm alone i can manage too.

Solids >> this is the easiest - just get a ready jar of anything. eat n throw. just bring a spoon n a bottle of water.

Whenever my hubby is w me, i try to manage as tho i'm alone... heh kinda train myself... The key is to imagine the whole trip in your mind first. Aiyo sounds like super tiring n rather stay home right? Heh... that's why i also stay home more these days... heh heh
 
cheekz,

ive brought kai out on my own before esp during maternity leave. it's a v gd feeling. it's just like pregnancy days when we go shopping alone, bb is with us all the time.

i dun mind to nurse anywhere using the nursing bib so it's not a problem for me coz i find tt nursing in nursing rm can be quite stressful if there's a queue outside.

maybe u go taka, isetan, etc those w more than one and v nice nursing rooms.

im a frequent cab taker leh. quite ok leh. i think spore still quite safe la.

yes true i oso worry abt affecting their nap time as kai oso doesnt has a fixed schedule. so i quickly go quickly come back loh. but if he happens to fall asleep in the carrier then i super happy, can shop slightly longer. hehe...

im not sure abt the feeding solids part too. i think either feed before or after going out. or dun feed at all. i think from now till 9mths, solid food still not so crucial right? correct me if im wrong.
 
jasmine, so nice of ur MIL! My mom is also ok for me to go out and fetch my daughter at a later time or LEAVE HER WITH ME THE NIGHT....she has been hinting me so long..but i never tried that!!! kekeke but my ger will be cranky after 8pm or after cleanup in the evening. cuz she know its time for her to go home!
 
edksd

my hubby is the 'manja' sort and u know sometimes its very tiring to sayang2 baby and then the hubby (who is another big baby)...all day long...

its like everybody in the family wants a piece of me...thats why we get stressed lah....

we women must be strong esp now since we're mummies!

shopping used to be my therapy...now i can't even do that...sob, sob, sob...

lucky got forum, at least got friends...if not i think i'll get post natal depression...hahaha...
 
orange
YAH YAH YAH! Whatever you have (B), you've made full use of! That's why C is so nice n chub chub!
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heh heh....

edksd
hahahaa yah! me too... funny hor? Always end up not buying anything for myself these days...
 
Sha, BM

Ya, I knw cannot compare. Jst wanna complaint at times to him hehehe. U knw woman when stress to certain point will wan to vent anger on someone mah.

Jst wanna share tis wit all the ice cream lovers.

Hi Everyone,

Ben & Jerry's annual Free Cone Day is just around the corner!!!

Join us at 8 selected Scoop Shops for FREE ICE CREAM on Tuesday, 17th April from 12pm -7pm.

If a single serving doesn't deliver enough of a sugar rush, join the queue again for seconds or thirds!!

It's our way of saying thank you to our loyal fans!


Peace, Love & Ice Cream,
The Ben & Jerry's Singapore Team
 
melody, where's the 8 selected shops?

if great world city one has then good! hehe..

btw, those who want to buy healthy times bb cereal, there's an organic shop in great world city basement 2 selling it besides NTUC.
 
hi ling and edksd,

thanks for the tips! wow both of u very brave to bring baby out on your own!!!

okie, since we might be meeting up (like discussed in email) perhaps i'll get a chance to get to know more SAHMs and then can have more meet ups!

thanks again for the tips...

maybe i'll start small...and go to nearby shopping centres first
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hi melody, thanks for the info!
oooh i love ben & jerrys!

how bout those who are free meet up @ ben & jerrys for free ice-cream???
 
edksd,

Here's d list of shops

Downtown East
Great World City
United Square
Suntec City
The Cathay
Raffles City
Viviocity
Whitesands
 
got it fr their website

Free Cone Day is coming!!

Thanks to you, it's on us!

Mark it in your diaries - Tuesday, 17th April is Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day!

Loyal fans, in appreciation of your support, we are giving out ice cream from
12noon to 7pm at 8 participating Ben & Jerry's Scoop Shops:

Downtown East, #01-08A
Great World City, #02-40A
Suntec City Mall, #01-152
Raffles City, #B1-80
The Cathay, #02-12
United Square, #02-40A
VivoCity, #02-135
White Sands, #01-36
 
hey edksd,

i think hubbies have diff ways of showing love lah...ur hubby asked u to go holiday with him right? V romantic
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my hubby is the only boy and baby of the family...sometimes, i cannot tahan him....can be a big baby...
 
Understand the Great Mom and Dad Divide. "Men and women react to parentingparenting differently," Stone explains. "Men go into provider panic and women get extremely focused on the baby. Women zero in on the child and it consumes them to a degree that they never expected, and men are surprised by that and think, 'Hey, where did my wife go?'"

Haltzman adds that "when a new baby arrives, moms are more anxious and fathers and husbands tend to feel increasingly helpless that there is nothing they can do to make their wives feel better."

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/132/118445
 
<font color="ff6000">Orange</font>
IT IS TOO LATE. . Ben and Jerry I will be there.

Melody thank you for the information!
 
hahaha <font color="ff6000">orange</font>,
your posting made me collapse in my chair with laughter that i have to stifle in my office environment!!

rexbabie,
you & hubby happening siah!!! i haven't been to that place, but i brought Jadelle to <font color="ff0000">ZOUK</font> before!! (<font size="-1">psssttt....flea market @ Zouk lah.. </font>. TEll us how is St. James after you have gone there! I have been wondering and wondering.. but hor, i think i old liaoz.. getting to hate that smoky smell!

<font color="0000ff">sha,ling,littlepony</font>,
i think we all have cool hubbies that are willing to help, but they are just not entirely HOW to help...
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Kudoes to them for trying their best!

<font color="0000ff">Cheekz</font>,
Like Ling, i find the nursing room beforehand.. but cos i trying to stop BF, nowadays i go out, i feed my girl FM.. cos she also very distracted and refuse to latch.. i lun until i buay tahan and she like machiam too hungry to be distracted by stuff then i go nursing room and latch her... this way, i no need pump..

weekends, hubby & i go out with jadelle.. we seldom stay home, as we go to my mum's place to "show" her Jadelle.. so i always wake up, prepare all the going out stuff first.. as for feeding solids, i bring out brown rice cereals and mix with a jar food.. or i cook porridge beforehand, and keep it inside the tiger jar.. it will become more mashy afterwards and i add in carrots/ veg, that i puree once a week.

I will feed Jadelle when we are having our lunch and dinner outside.. as she love to eat with us.. and it keep her occupied in the high chair..

<font color="0000ff">edksd</font>,
ya, i agree that you are a very dedicated mother.. but please don't get so stressed out.. Remember, once kids grow up, you must let go of them to lead their own lives.. and it will be back to your er ren shi jie, so, please do not neglect your hubby lor..
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My hubby always remind me that as much as we love jadelle, we must learn to lead our own lives still.. cos end of the day, it is still our marriage!

of cos, when he try to get me into a raunchy mood IMMEDIATELY after i just latch Jadelle, i feel like a piece of meat being snatched between 2 hungry wolves - one want my breast, the other want a piece of my ARSE!!
 
BEN JERRY
oh i love it!!! shall we have an ice cream feast together????

CHEEKZ
u sahm too? find one day we sahm meet up? brenda, ling, orange (u part time lah i know), me, jerene and eh who else ah???

i agree with u abt everyone wants a pc from us. my hubby is one BIG baby. he needs a lot of attn from me. at times im so tired after "servcing" the kids whole day i still gotta entertain him. wish i can just sit down shake legs n do nothing! but communication is v impt for a couple esp aft having children. u will find that its even harder to keep up with each other cos we r too occupied with kids. me n hubby try to go out at least once a week wo the children, usually its during their nap time. previously wo jo, its easier cos maid can handle the older kids. but now with the arrival of jo, we gotta make some adjustments. a lil challenging but still can be done. also, its impt to pamper ourselves once in a while. go out for even just an hour or 2 is therapeutic! and of cos, forums r there for us to find support in each other!!
 


Sha,

Same same, hehehe i can still crave for ice cream in cold weather.

I love tis addictive forum. Mummies here r so encouraging & great!!
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