(2006/06) June 2006 MTB

okipoki,
your pil should be more zi dong loh...u preggy, need more rest, and they can still come over for manjong....your hubby should tell them mah....

if the whole family is coming over, then better to leave baby with them....coz staying with so many people means more conflicts!!
 


kk... sayang sayang.. yeah sometimes MIl is like that 1... i also worry as my due date coming closer.. she n my mom r going to help me during confinement.. i scare i will clash with her too... sigh.. what to do? try to tolerate lor..

Is your MIl going to take care of yr bb after the maternity leave??? got to think abt it if u can't tahan..

I am also having cold feet to have my MIL take care of bb after maternity leave.. Somemore she now starts to "throw us hint" that she wans a maid cos she wants to sweep her floor everyday!!! Gosh.. juz cos she wants to sweep her floor every day, i need to pay $600 a mth for that???? Sigh.. trying to ignore her request now haha..

Carebear, tks for the tip on breast pump.. yeah.. the pelvic bone is so painful now...

Duffyy, so good.. u r going to c bb so soon?? Btw, how your gynae knows that u r popping soon?? My bb got engaged in abt 32-33 wk, but my gynae never says he is popping out soon.... tks
 
okasan,
actually there is a reason for them to come over for mahjong session cos FIL is diabetics & need some sort of "exercise" on his brain so being filial son he has invited them over lor.

anyway, sooner or later they will shift in once SIL got married as hubby is their only son.
 
peng,
your mum and mil will help during confinement...then u have to worry also whether the 2 women can work together in peace or not loh....coz they may "fight" over taking are of baby, etc....
 
ok then wil be eating cheese cake as breakfast. jiat liat me just wake up, gg to wash up now n do some cooking. talk to u all later.
 
okipoki,
no choice lah, afterall, without the pil, there wun be your hubby...a filial son can't be a bad husband and father
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but your hubby can actually go over to their house to play manjong too mah....no need to come over to your house....
 
okasan,
haha u so cute !! Aiya I hv told him before liao lah during my week 20 scan when FIL wanted to follow to see. i told my hubby i am not comfortable with that & he finds it ok. i told him he wldnt want my mum to see his butts right? But well he still dun find anything wrong but he respected my decision. he said thats a diff story, alamak !!
 
kk,
dont be bothered by your MIL. she shd know you need the rest now during confinement! if not why we bother to hire a CL to help or get help during this mth.

just becoz she does slightly more than you doesnt mean your baby will not recognise you. *sigh* if she keep saying this again, then you might want to consider letting other people to help u instead.
 
okasan,
yeah u are right... if he is not filial son he wont be a good daddy either.

well, hubby wont want to leave me alone at home. moreover, after the mahjong session will be dinner time. suppose it wont be nice if i dont "see them".

anyway, hubby just came back w/o ILs.. hippee they are not coming over today. hahahaha...
 
okipoki,
why your hubby so weird one?? firstly, if your mil wants to see the detail scan, still not too bad...but it's your FIL leh....another man wants to see the scan and he's ok with it!!!!!! that's WEIRD!

I can't imagine letting my own dad see my belly, let alone some other men loh!!

your hubby really need some brainwashing...*LOL*
 
okasan,
hahaha precisely cos to him thats his own father mah nothing wrong. anyway, i dont care lah i just told him i dont want lor. he also bo bian cos thats my body mah.
 
okipoki,
weird hubby of yours *LOL*

his own father means can see his wife's belly? weird weird weird! then ask him if his father can also hug u or not loh since he is his father...*LOL*

anyway, enjoy your breakfast...me going to do some housechores now....
 
peng,
it's hard to have 2 women around in the same kitchen... sure have some clash in opinions. My mum and MIL also available to help during my confinment... after talking to my hubby, we decided to let my mum help and i will be staying over at her place. at least it's somewhere i'm comfortable.
 
okasan,
yah lor... sometime really cant tahan his thinking but anyway, he still respect my decision lah
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household chores.. yeah going to wash all my new towels ..
 
okipoki,
ya, at least he respect your decision, still not too bad....

me washing the baby's bedsheet now...also re-tidying/organising the kitchen cabinets...realise need to clear some space to put baby's stuff like milk bottles, steriliser, themo flask, etc....
 
hi kk,
u dun stress yrself too much ya! take care! like what the gals had said earlier... there's a natural bond between mummy &the baby so dun hv to bother what yr mil said. just ignore her and u will feel better... best treat her transparent. :p
i'm staying with my pil too and my mil will be helping in my confinement..so i oso hope everything will be fine.. *cross my fingers.

hi peng,
my gynae said my bb's growing fine & healthy so far and cos the head's engaged and bb is growing fine... he estimated that bb will pop early.
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okasan,
true as least he respects me lor
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i hv washed the bedsheet last week... thot abt kitchen, i hv yet to do some tidy up. probably will do so later. tonite i still hv a wedding dinner to attend...
 
Kite,

It is ok to take cheese cake. I have been taking that in my pregnancy heee.. and now confinement, my mum asked me yesteday whether i want to eat cheesecake because she is going carrefour this friday. But i said no need, because confinement meals kill all my appetite.
 
okasan,

I brought cardigan but never wore it. And i didn't bring any socks too
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Felt so hot, maybe i was having fever then :p But my hubby did feel very very cold!! Especially nite when he slept.

Yup, mil stay over only. Who else u expect? heeeee... one is enough to kill me. Luckily the whole family never come and CAMP over.
 
Wah, so much to catch up on during my two days absence from the forum...

Seems like lots of mummy are popping soon. I'm into week 36 and will be seeing John Tee tomorrow ... wish my baby gal would come out soon too ... really have the urge to carry her and sayang her in my arms ...
 
KK,

Hope you are feeling better today. Dun let your MIL upset you too much ... we have to stay happy during confinement month too or else, we might flung into depression ... so, dun let that happen. It's not easy to get an eldery relative to help out ... there's bound to be conflict. Open one ear and close one ear loh
 
KK,

May I know what have you been eating during the confinement weeks thus far? I'm worried that I might not be able to survive on the food that the CL cooks cos' I dun like herbs and inlets ... sure, jia lart! My mum is now stocking up all the herbs for me ... sigh
 
paula,

chiam liao lor hahaha.. confinement food is very boring to me. And now even worse, i eat until halfway feel like vomiting so must stop immediately.

We can eat green leafy vegetables, but not white ones e.g. cabbage as they are cooling. We can also take broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, etc.

As for fish, only certain types of fish are allowed. So far i have only been eating "Nor He" (in hokkien) and my mum also just bought "Ang Go Li" (in hokkien).

As for meat, no chicken and eggs for two weeks if caesarian. No pig trotters vinegar in the first week too. If caesarian, also no pork liver in the first 2 weeks.

Seems like tonics is a must in confinement leh. My meals also include a lot of blank fungus which my mum say is good in "cleaning" the blood. I dun mind tonics actually. Phew!
 
Peng,

i realised both the mums have different viewpoints. So lucky for my case not both of them helping out at the same time.

My mil do the cooking and my mum does the marketing. U know why? Actually my mum say she wanna cook for me over the weekends. But in the later stage her friend advised her not to, because if she do so, my mil may be unhappy over it. It is like "snatching" over her "job". Now when i come to think over it, it may be true, especially now i know better my mil's "pattern".

U know i was so miserable in the first week after discharge from hospital. i simply have nothing to eat on the dining table. First nite was horrible. Out of 5 dishes on the table, i can only eat 1 dish! What the hell is confinement, i ask myself. Obviously my mil is cooking for HER family and not for me! How can she cook sooo many dishes which i cannot take!! I complained to my mum the next day. Lucky my mum did all the marketing for food after that. I also complained to my hubby if that continues, i will have nothing to eat every nite.
 
Peng,

Aiyoh, ur mil can always sweep the floor when the bb is asleep mah. Whole day stare at bb no need to do housework meh?? I also heard of some mils, or even own mums themselves, wanting a maid when taking care of bb.

My mil will still be taking care of bb after maternity leave. What to do? i dun feel safe with having a babysitter. And she stay so close. I hope it'll be better when the time comes. At least i return to work after that and by facing her less, less her nonsense. At nite i just carry bb back home and no need to face her.

i was so angry that day and told my hubby weekends we must bring bb out so as to avoid my mil. If not weekends she will definitely still pop by kaypo and then suan me say the bb won't be close to me. Ya lah Ya lah, of course she assume the bb closer to her lah since she see bb more than us.
 
kk,
at least ur MIL can cook, my MIL dont even know how to cook a gd meal not to mention what kind of "pu pin" for preggy. so far, she didnt make a single "pu pin" & dun bother to learn & luckily i hv engaged a CL else sure die.
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kk,
i am worried my MIL will request a maid too just like what peng has mentioned. i dun see a need cos my mum w/o a maid still can managed my sis's 2 kids so well.
 
okipoki,

Yup, some older generation is more flexible and adapt well, they are able to handle more things as such.

if the time comes, must seriously consider liao. It will add on to ur monthly expenses. But if she really wants a maid and u still wanna her to take care, what to do rite?
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kk,
true.. i think those much older generation is more flexible.. imagine olden days where got money to engage a maid with a sole breadwinner & so many kids to care of. so getting a maid is a luxury to me. haha try to ask hubby to pyscho her lor.
 
kk,
ask u hor.. when u do confinement hor, u got wash face too? using tap water or boiled water? got use ur normal facial foam?
 
Hello ladies... wow so many postings over the weekend...

boring weekend ... went to cousin's hubby studio yesterday to take some photos... took mainly "happy family" photos though he suggested some "interesting" ones wh his other clients have taken... i told him your cousin and cousin in law v old already lah... cannot take such seductive photos.

nothing much to do today... teaching my son to read some flash cards abt vegetables.

kk, dont let your mil dampen your mood. Old pp r like that one lor... always say and do things that can make us unhappy. My mother is also like that one but i usually just bochap her comments. That is precisely the reason why i decided to have a confinement nanny instead of getting help fr both sides. I know if she does confinement for me, it will be hell for me cos she likes to complain. On the other hand, i have never lived with MIL and dont wish to get into any conflict with her. Anyway, i am not so fortunate as u. Nobody has offered to help me with my confinement.

But again, I think in her heart, your mil cares a lot abt u... just that sometimes the actions speak otherwise. At least she is willing to do confinement for you. Saves u a lot of money leh. Neither my mother nor mil ever volunteered to do that for me. Same as okipoki, since i was pregnant, mil has NEVER once made for me any tonic or drinks to "bu". But i tell myself dont take that to heart lor cos my life will be v miserable if i start noting down all the faults.

If u r so sick of confinement food, ask her to cook u western or some other kind of food lor. As long as it is nutritious, i dont see any reason why cannot eat that.
 
kk,

ya dun take what your mil's words at heart. Some old folks talk more bluntly but meant well. And its natural for them to want to be close to their grandchildren... Though people say there is a bond between parents and child... but any bond in this world takes time to build and grow. For me, I had never taken this issue of closeness lightly as I gotta work full time. Like you, my mum (instead of MIL) takes care of my son during my confinement and after I went to work. She bath him... but I did try to bath him at times too when i was sufficiently recovered from my stitches. I know there are things beyond me and as I am not sahm, cant possibly do everything for him.... thus right from my confinement day 1, I had never wanted my mum to stay over. Me and hubby took care of our son at night... each 2 hourly night feed. I wake up to express my milk every 2 hours right from the day I discharged. And in the 2nd week when my stitch was removed and I can walk better without as much pain, I took over all my son's night feed... when he wakes in the middle of the night and just wanna interact, I will hold his hands and sit with him. Even right now when I am heavily pregnant and in pain at times, I will still wake up and just hold my son if he wakes and cry and needs that comfort in the middle of the night. Some people feel that its important during confinement to get as much rest as possible etc... but the care of my son was always my first priority... From the week2 of my son's birth till today, I wake up and take care of all his night feeds personally... on weekends, I spent all my time with him.... there was only 1-2 ocassion in the past year that me and hb went to watch a movie together ... even then we did it in a rush while he took his afternoon nap.

Like what your hb told u, even though my son was taken care of and see my mum all day long... and she still takes care of most of his bath and all, he was quite close to me and hb too... though not sticky kind. I know he is very close to my mum... which I cannot fault at all since she sees him more than me in the day and she is so dedicated to him which I myself feel grateful for. But for my own way of dedication to my son, I know he has a certain closeness to us too... first place or 2nd is already something i dun consider... as long as he is happy and well taken care of. Thus, while it is true that there is a bond between parent and child, it must still be built upon by your own dedication... which will be evident to your child. I wrote my blog precisely for this reason... that one day, my son will read it and understand my dillema of having to leave him in the grandma's care...

I gave up breastfeeding partly for this reason. I am not saying that its not possible to be close to your child and still bfg.. etc but its my personal choice. I felt when I was busy expressing milk ever so often, I do not have time to attend to my son's cries... I felt so depressed at that time... and I finally decided to give up and from then, I felt happier and was able to take care of my son singularly during all my off work hours.

so dun worry or be too affected by what others say... as long as u yourself know you had been a dedicated mother who had done your best, then your bb will sense it herself... what others said is totally unimportant.
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tinklebell,

me for both my pregnancy also never take a single tonic or anything. I am a picky eater... so i think my mil also cant be bothered hehee... good for me also. I am not a believer of tonic and confinement food. Most of time, I tell my mum who supposed to cook my confinement food to just buy me char siew rice... easier for her... dun spent too much time on food lah..
 
Wow so many postings ah. Been out e whole day yest. Went voting for the first time, then shopping at Bishan J8, Paragon n then carrefour stock up food
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Pjyamas:
Hey i really got a hard time looking for it. Went to diff areas neighbourhood but either dun hv front button dress or look very obiang. Eh, any recommendations? Probably Vesak day, gg chinatown take a look.

Carebear29:
Wow ur bb already 2.65kg at 35wks. My next appt wil be 34 wks 0 days n wil be paying $800 to Dr. YC. Also i hv to shortlist PD n let her know. Aiya stil dunno which PD to choose wor. U? hv u tell her u getting which PD? btw wat is ur weight now? mine now 54 kg (total gained 11kg liao).

kk:
Hope u are feeling better, dun get depressed over ur MIL's remarks. Most MILs are typical n like tat. Very pek chey one. Anyway wat is e point of confinement n she is there to help you n shldnt make those rude remarks. U shld tell ur hubby, at tis moment, is u shld get all rest n just BF ur bb. After 1 mth confinement over, then u take over her place.

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kk.. yeah.. u r rite. that's why we will arrange both moms to come at different timing so that they won't face each other.. save my prob.. i already requested it'll be my mom to cook for me, so at least will be up to my taste..

Ya lor.. i oso find it "extra" to have a maid.. her reason is that she can't cope herself.. she said must c the bb every min.. huh???? she asked me how she goes to toilet etc.. i was like that eye big n want to say "what".. why u need to be with the bb every min??? bb oso wants to sleep ah..

somemore she can tell me dun carry the bb too much else next time have to be carried often.. i think most likely she will be the 1 that spoils the market based on what she said..

Sigh.. i juz act blur for the time being n take 1 step each.. Dun want to hire maid for the time being..
 
hi ladies,
does anyone of u still hvg the yellowish discharge problem? sigh.. my doc gave me 2 medication pills to insert, the problem subsided for a while.. but now it's bk.. sigh.. luckily went for strep b test and results is negative. but still hvg discharge and sometimes still feel itchy.. so cham.
 
hi ladies,
any idea where i can get ice bag.. i mean those storage bag which i can store my bottled/ packed expressed milk so that i can transport them from office to home?
 
duffybuff,
I saw kiddy palace selling ice packs for u to put inside your storage bag....forget what brand it is....I also saw Daiso @ IMM selling ice packs too, coz japanese like to use ice pack to store sashimi for freshness.....
 
re: maid

actually, I dun think it's too much for our mother or mil to request for maid when taking care of the baby....afterall, have to consider the fact that they are now older, dun have much energy like before...

beside, with a maid, maid can help to do the running after the kid...sometimes, I see those old granny take their grandchildren out to walk, I also worry for the children coz they keep running and the old people just cannot catch up...very dangerous loh...dangerous both to the children and to the old people....

but maybe when still at infant stage, getting a maid is not neccessary since baby not so mobile...but when baby get older and can walk and run, getting maid to help out is quite justifiable...but of course, that will means increase expenses on our end lah....

think the age of the mother/mil also play an impt factor to whether there's need to engage a maid to help them out...
 
kk,
at least your mil only stay over for the confinement period....so after confinement, u are "free"!

I'm worry coz my mil not only stay over for confinement, she will also stay over permanently to take care of baby when I go back to work since she stays far away from us.....praying hard that our relationship can maintain as good as now....
 
kk... first of all hugs frm me... aiya... think all DIL will have problem with MIL.. no one can escape this fact... those that can get along is really blessed.. samw as okasan, my MIL is a permanent resident with us as hb is the only son... and she will be doing confinement and taking care of my gal when i get back to work... no choice.. guess my mum will pop by occasionally too..

Duffy,
am having yellow discharge since wk28.. on and off but having it most of the time and damn itch too... doc say its fungus attack and eat less sweet stuffs.. think nothing can cure it.. cos i was given 3 different types of inserts so far n it stops only for a while... and its back again.. so i gave up.. and bare with it for the time been since my gal will be out soon. haha
 
okasan,

Ya! Got to tahan till end of the mth!

Celeste,

Thanks for ur support
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Not all mil are like tat hee.. i heard of mothers who are very nice and open minded. Those will be the really good mils
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Peng,

About not carrying bb around often.. easier said than done hahahaa.. when u see ur little dear one crying, and he/she doesn't want milk, no poo poo.. u will wonder why bb is crying.. and when u carry the bb, immediately stop crying and u will feel happy and carry around more hahahaha.. that's human nature actually.
 
morning ladies
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kk,
its not easy for DIL and MIL to get along together....sometimes really need to give n take and one ear in the other ear out. At least we are not living together with MIL...imagine living under one roof with them there will definitely be more conflicts. Unless MIL is really those kind of super gd type...try not to let her words bother u...practise the "one ear in the other ear out" method
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Re : Sleeping position
Juz wondering what sleeping position do u gers adopt these days? Me try sleeping on left but sometimes when after waking up in the middle of the nite dont feel so comfy to sleep back on left side again
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Last nite even had insomnia for 1+hrs after waking up to wee wee
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Re: Hospital Bag
Havent packed my hospital bag yet...*faint*....now 34 weeks liowz....sometimes feel like popping on week 37...really getting tired these days.
 
celeste,

re: hospital bag
Ya lor... i'm so tired these days hor. told my hubby even if pp sponsor me a trip for holiday i also dont want to go. too sian to even step out of the house. Cant wait to see bb soon
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i'm bringing roughly what okasan has brought except that i'll probably also bring a breast pump along. Donno if it is necessary or not. last time i brought along but didnt use. since i have it just bring lor. Anyway, still waiting for Avent to send me the silicone parts. One week already still havent heard fr them
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I think we also need to bring your contact lenses or specs if u have.
As for bb stuff, i added in the receiving blanket and mittens (not sure if TMC provides).

re: sleep position
Sleeping on left side if possible. right is sometimes ok but i can never sleep on my back. Will get bad backache even if i just lie down for 5 mins.
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tinklebell,

actually no need to bring anything for bb if delivering in TMC....unless of course if u want bb to wear own clothes when discharging. TMC provides everything including receiving blanket and mittens
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Me too bringing my new avent manual pump.... hope can escape latching on and... just express the colustrum for my bb... feeding by spoon cos colustrum too thick and little to put into the bottle to drink hehee
 

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