kk,
ya dun take what your mil's words at heart. Some old folks talk more bluntly but meant well. And its natural for them to want to be close to their grandchildren... Though people say there is a bond between parents and child... but any bond in this world takes time to build and grow. For me, I had never taken this issue of closeness lightly as I gotta work full time. Like you, my mum (instead of MIL) takes care of my son during my confinement and after I went to work. She bath him... but I did try to bath him at times too when i was sufficiently recovered from my stitches. I know there are things beyond me and as I am not sahm, cant possibly do everything for him.... thus right from my confinement day 1, I had never wanted my mum to stay over. Me and hubby took care of our son at night... each 2 hourly night feed. I wake up to express my milk every 2 hours right from the day I discharged. And in the 2nd week when my stitch was removed and I can walk better without as much pain, I took over all my son's night feed... when he wakes in the middle of the night and just wanna interact, I will hold his hands and sit with him. Even right now when I am heavily pregnant and in pain at times, I will still wake up and just hold my son if he wakes and cry and needs that comfort in the middle of the night. Some people feel that its important during confinement to get as much rest as possible etc... but the care of my son was always my first priority... From the week2 of my son's birth till today, I wake up and take care of all his night feeds personally... on weekends, I spent all my time with him.... there was only 1-2 ocassion in the past year that me and hb went to watch a movie together ... even then we did it in a rush while he took his afternoon nap.
Like what your hb told u, even though my son was taken care of and see my mum all day long... and she still takes care of most of his bath and all, he was quite close to me and hb too... though not sticky kind. I know he is very close to my mum... which I cannot fault at all since she sees him more than me in the day and she is so dedicated to him which I myself feel grateful for. But for my own way of dedication to my son, I know he has a certain closeness to us too... first place or 2nd is already something i dun consider... as long as he is happy and well taken care of. Thus, while it is true that there is a bond between parent and child, it must still be built upon by your own dedication... which will be evident to your child. I wrote my blog precisely for this reason... that one day, my son will read it and understand my dillema of having to leave him in the grandma's care...
I gave up breastfeeding partly for this reason. I am not saying that its not possible to be close to your child and still bfg.. etc but its my personal choice. I felt when I was busy expressing milk ever so often, I do not have time to attend to my son's cries... I felt so depressed at that time... and I finally decided to give up and from then, I felt happier and was able to take care of my son singularly during all my off work hours.
so dun worry or be too affected by what others say... as long as u yourself know you had been a dedicated mother who had done your best, then your bb will sense it herself... what others said is totally unimportant.
tinklebell,
me for both my pregnancy also never take a single tonic or anything. I am a picky eater... so i think my mil also cant be bothered hehee... good for me also. I am not a believer of tonic and confinement food. Most of time, I tell my mum who supposed to cook my confinement food to just buy me char siew rice... easier for her... dun spent too much time on food lah..