(2006/06) June 2006 MTB

Wah, you all terror lei … the most heated sentence that came out from my mouth was, ‘if you continue to live your life with this set of parenting mentality, please move back and stay with your parents till you align your mentality to suit mine.’
 


<font face="tahoma"> aishite,
guess in the heat of anger... we can say ANYTHING! horror hor... am very mean and nasty when am angry too. :p

rodeo,
try not to think such way... if i'm your hub i'll be very sad too. hub and wife must be fated to come together.... i believe in that. ;) </font>
 
Mspiggy / Rodeo / Toad /Pauline...
Well.... I told hub too.... come one day if u got to make a decision to chose betw ur mum or Me &amp; Chelsia (Me &amp; chelsia is a package).. i wont blame you if u chose your mum... i will be happier... and i told him... if he can afford our current flat, by all means buy over.. else too bad.. he have to move out n find a place to stay with his mum.. n be happy ever after... and dun come bother me n chelsia... hahaha
 
ms piggy..

Yah fated to come together... and at times fated to go apart too... hoho...

when me n hubby quarrel bcos of MIL.. i will tell him... I dun wan to fight with you bcos of an OLD WOMAN!! hahaha
 
<font face="tahoma"> Celeste,
hahahaa... same! wes and me is always a package, where i go he will follow! hahahahahahaa </font>
 
to add on... luckily i got a nice SIL whose thinking is abt the same as ours...

And the poor thing is her mum stayin with her to help her with her kids and she also ganna bullied by her own mum ie.. my MIL!!! sick right!!

Tell hub.. even her own daughter CANNOT STAND her! DUN expect someone else's daughter to tolerate her Nuisance!
 
<font face="tahoma"> Pauline,
I cant find "love" during that time! all i know is why he doesnt understand me... and why must he side his mum so much?!

i know it's diff for him to be sandwiched in between but my priority is our SON hence i wanna do/teach/groom him the way i wanna him to be!</font>
 
mspiggy: I know. Regret is 1 thing, but since already married, I will live with it.

Haha... looks like many mean wives here.
 
I was just telling my hubby the other day … the only way for us to have a better relationship with his parent would be for them to atone for whatever they have said, decisions have been made … on caring for Kelly when we needed help badly BY
stepping out and be counted… dun say love love grandchild by putting money in her bank, buy this and that for her, or invest in policies for her. To me, all these are useless proofs of LOVE. Hubby said … we can forever wait for that day to come … that means even he thinks that it will not happen.
 
Paula
The only love to talk about during arguments is "self love", ya, cos we luv ourselves so much that we dunt mind "stabbing" our hubs. Bad, but grace grace lor, that's why need God, we can't handle all this based on man efforts lah
 
Mspiggy,
Luckily for hubby, he is not a daddy or mummy’s boy … so far, he is still quite understanding … the only thing that we don’t see eye-to-eye is that I wanted him to be a more hands on dad whereas he is happily being a hands-on dad. But recently got improvement lah because of how her daughter has been so sweet to her.
 
Actually I don't really quarrel with hub over MIL. Cos nothing will come out of it. He'll surely say, aiyah, just follow her way. In any case, he knows nuts about rearing a child + he's hands-off looking after ER. I don't retort back to MIL also, which is why i need to complain else I'll go crazy bottling up.

In general, if nothing's going to come out of discussing with hub, I don't even bother discussing with him. If it's within my power to decide, I just do it and inform him.
 
Pauline..

I will sustain a marriage if there is no love... for the sake of my kids... Love can be cultivated again i believe..

BUT

I will not sustain a marriage if MIL comes into my way again n again... i will jus end it one fine day....
 
<font face="tahoma"> rodeo,
hugs
happy.gif


Celeste,
you're so funny!

Pauline,
hub not exactly a mummy's boy but he's trying to "educate" me to be more respectful towards the elders.

i do.. not that i dont. but i want things to be very clear how i handle my children hence i tend to be loud when i speak to his mum even my own mum.

i know i'm a very stubborn girl, but that's me. i told him he shd choose probably before even proposing to me! :p</font>
 
Paula
You too philosophical ...
My character is "San1 Fen1 Zhong1 Re4 Du4", so even if I may spilt from him, I know we will get back together. Cos till this day, I know he's the best for me .... he's my bf #7, and I have seen how the other bfs have turned out !

Also, I know God will see us thru one lah .... quarrel 1,001 times oledi, but still together ... God's love glue is the best :)
 
Paula: I believe marriage can be sustained without love but not if there's hatred/anger involved. Afterall, it's just living under the same roof. Each can still live their own lives, do their own stuff as long as there is no major conflict.
 
Now a days .. hubby says want #2.. i told him... 3 conditions:
1) when i am preg... ask ur mum dun come ... we will meet her when we feel like it... dun come and spoil my mood... n affect my pregnancy..

2) When number 2 come along = hse too small = not enuf rooms = ur mum can come sit sit over weekends but no overnite

3) during confinement... ask her to stay away... i need to BU back my health n not get angry seeing her...

If he agrees to that.. then can talk more abt #2.. else.. FORGET IT!! hahahahahahha...

He kept silent....

So u gals should be able to feel how much i HATED her... for all the things she had done!
 
<font face="tahoma"> celeste,
my frd ever told me that her "xin bing" towards MIL was cured after #2 arrival coz she really sees that MIL is helping her. </font>
 
mspiggy: Thanks 8)

aishite: Wow, bf#7 ah!!!

celeste: Ya, can tell u &amp; her is like shui huo bu rong. Curious to know.... did u know your mil was like this b4 u get married?

Paula: Can't put into sentances lah. If u ask me why I love my hub, I don't even have an answer to that....haha.... Anyway, my hub not much diff b4 and after giving birth. He still live his life the same way! while mine changed totally, be it physical, mental or financially!
 
Cel
You ultimate man! Next time MIL come round again, get us over, we can shoot "sneaky, quiet, poison, subtle" needles for you!

Mspiggy
Haha, I dunt know about deep, I just know he's the only one who can take all my #$%!@ and still love me. Even my past bf also said only my hub can tahan me in tis world.
 
Rodeo ,

We in same boat!!! my hub not much diff b4 and after giving birth too. He still live his life the same way too and mine changed totally, physically, mentally &amp; financially!!!

Hub told me his mum very easy one.. blah blah blah... n the naive me... really believe him LAST TIME!!! SICK!!
 
<font face="tahoma"> rodeo and celeste,
i think not easy to find a really hands-on daddy... i respect my dad alot coz my mum told me he helped out alot during her confinement, be it cooking for her, showering or feeding babies.

my hub used to be not so hands-on but after constant nagging... he's improved i must say
happy.gif
</font>
 
Saw all the BIG Complaints abt MIL today.. every1 is so heated up..

haha.. i also don't particularly like my MIL.. my r/sp with her all this while is good till i had my 1st bb.. Our viewpts are totally different.. so I learnt the best way is to SIAM her.. So now i totally avoid her as best as I could other than big occassions will I see her.. other than that, she is out of my hb and my dictionary... haha.. so i am quite happy with the current situation..

But come to think abt it, we all have to become MIL in future.. sigh.. these r the times that I feel like trying for a gal so that I have a daughter who can hopefully be filial to me..

hmm.. hands-on daddy??? My hb before or after wedding is always very hands-on.. thank god for that, otherwise i really don't know how to cope with 2 bbs..

But I am also a mean wife like u gals.. These days he wked very late till 11pm.. in the nite he still got to take care of the 2 bbs.. Yest nite Ethan was crying from his nightmare.. This naughty mommy saw daddy hugging n crying ethan in the wee hr to make him sleep while mummy pretended not see it n continued to sleep.. very mean hor.. wink wink..
 
celeste: hehe, my hub also said his mum v easy 1. That's y i so stupid allowed him &amp; mil to buy hdb flat &amp; then I had to live with her. Till this day, that is the most regretful thing I've done in my life. No major conflicts arose cos I avoided whatever I could but I was v stressed &amp; unhappy. Within 2 mths, hub convinced that I was stressed and we bot our current flat. When new flat TOP &amp; he had to sell the old flat (hub's name cannot be in 2 hdb), there was a big quarrel (MIL+SIL vs HUB), like what we see in tv. I suddenly awaken to the dark side of humans. Never in my life have I come near to such quarrels. I'm really grateful my hub agreed to us shifting out. He was really in a difficult position. Anyway, I think my MIL hates me for 'dumping her', although she don't show it. That day she was telling her fren about losing sons when they get married. Haha....

mspiggy: My dad is also hands-on dad. He does most of the housework, aka wash clothes, clean house &amp; even cook. He also does marketing cos my mum needed to work on Sat while my dad don't. Every morning, my dad will prepare breakfast for the whole family, aka make milo/put jam/butter on bread/cook quaker oats/do boiled egg, etc.... That's y I said my family upbringing is totally diff from my hub's side whereby MIL does everything for them. Thus, she expects me to do everything for son which is totally unacceptable to me! When I commented to MIL about me &amp; my bro being independent &amp; not reliant on my mother, she replied: Oh becos your mother had to work so can't do for you all, wah lao, like my mother's fault and it's bad that me &amp; my bro are independent! Actually I was trying to tell her that don't she feel shameful that my hub still depend on her to do things despite being a 30yo man!
 
Peng..

You are so lucky.... I think if chelsia cry till the roof collapsed, the daddy will still be in his dreamland.... it will be ME... hugging n carrying chelsia!
 
Wow...all the MIL and hubbies talk..

I am grateful I dun have to stand my MIL nonsense becos she is living far far away in east Malaysia...during the CNY period, when I went there for holiday already cannot stand her pattern, so cannot imagine if she is in SINGAPORE...i think my attitude will be like Celeste..
 
Rodeo...

Ur Hubby really same same as mine leh!! Sit there like a KING.. waiting to be served!!! Cos they are SPOILT by their Mums who treated them like a KING!!! OMG... we really same same leh....
 
hi mummies,
i tot i was the only one complaining day and nite abt hands off hb and mean mil...
worse, i was tricked into staying with mil (forever)...
thanks for this forum, a plc for us to complain!!
 
Peng, ^5...my hubby is also a hands-on man cos he stayed alone in Singapore as his parents are in Malaysia, so he is very independent and very good with housework.

Celeste, usually I am the deep sleeper one, last time when Jerica wakes up for night feed, its mostly my hubby who wakes up to make milk for her.
 
<font face="tahoma"> peng,
you're really lucky! that's why you can have kids at this age gap coz you have good help
happy.gif


rodeo,
same lor! i somehow already expected my hub will be like my dad... but their upbringing is totally diff! my FIL is the KING, even MIL also complains abt him to me. luckily hub not exactly like FIL. i know he's trying his best... but maybe my expectation very high coz my dad is my role model of a good hub!
happy.gif


celeste,
please close BOTH eyes during this long weekends.. go out shopping, frd's place for gatherings... just try to avoid as much as possible
happy.gif

</font>
 
Spice...

MIL staying at SIL PErmanently... so weekend sure come n see her BELOVED SON...

Mspiggy,
Hubby's rule is .. MIL back.. all mus stay home.. plans have to cancel...
 
celeste: Hi5! Haha, really like king, just wait to be served! When I ask him y cant he make coffee himself, he still can give me crap reason like "Oh, if u make the coffee, it will taste better". *Faint* Your hub same or not??? Then he'll complain the house dusty, ask me to clean but he'll not clean. Sigh... When u got married, MIL started staying at your place on weekends or only after C arrive? Tell u, very difficult to ask them not to come once they start the routine.

mspiggy: My MIL also complain abt FIL (not around anymore, i never saw him), say hub just like FIL, don't do this, don't do that. Problem is although she complain, she still do for them! Ya, so difficult for us right? Luckily u don't stay with IL else it's likely they have such expectations of u, then u get even more frustrated.

spicegal &amp; peng: U 2 are lucky to get hands-on hub! 8)
 
Cel
Your MIL really one kind! If need to, I can come and jio jio her, and tell her how my MIL treat her DILs until like queen like that.

My MIL, I think she's good lah, though I find her v stone, ie no emotion. Last week I cooked dessert for her and was watching her reaction, but she no emotion one, only eat and eat. So end up I had to ask hub whether she liked my cooking or not .... I am the kind who thrives on comments, when it's all stony silence, I sian liao, no mood to do anything. Hub was saying she's resigned to simply existing on earth cos of lack of education etc, but it's totally opposite of me, I am not the kind who can just exist, I either live or dunt live, and when I live, I live until every moment is meaningful that kind.
 
Hands on/off hubby:
my hubby is consider at least to me not as hands on as i would like him to be...so that resulted in a few disagreements...Its much better now i can see he is making an effort altough maybe the involvement is still not alot but i gotta recognize he is trying and give him credit for it..

Mils:
My in laws move in with us to take care of our son....thinking back..maybe i should have quit my job and be a SAHM ...altough she is not as crazy/bad as other mils..but i still feel its "xiang jian hao tong zhu nan"...and especially i am very stubborn and hold strongly to my views...heng weekend she will move back to her place..

She is over motherly....even take rice and food for my hubby when he comes home..when i told her to let him take for himself..she told me "he know how to take fish meh..got bones.."...i was speechless..after that i told my hubby what she said and he laffed and amused by what his mom said..
 
actually, my parents treat my bro like a king as well..far worse than how my mil "mothered" my hubby...i seriously wonder how next time his future wife can tahan ...coz i think if its me...if my mil is sooo involve in my hubby life..i dont think i will marry him liao..heng he still know how to manage my mil and still have a mind of his own..
 


It's nvr ending when it comes to complaints on MIL. For my case, SIAM. Try not to talk too much to her, in case I said the wrong thing. Don't go back for dinner when hubby not going, even though I need to pick up my boy from her place.

There was once that I was scolding my boy, I told him, this is my hse, you cannot do this, cannot do that, but I don't care what you do at your grandma's hse. Then my hubby said:"How can you teach your boy like that!". hee...
 

Back
Top