(2006/02) Feb 2006 MTB

[etelle]

Bulma
haha reverse hor..haha instead of child cry...mother cry...haha okay i prepare myself and self talk myself ...hee big boy le go school 2 hrs nia..nothing to cry or be sad about

...

Mashy
haha as always the govt always miss sahm out hor...sad le..does it mean they dun want the sahm to reproduce haha...

anyway heard they backdate the new scheme to 17th august instead of 1st jan 0 hor...

 

[siewlng]

Mashy
I think govt now want to encourage SAHM to go back to work lah... else they getting more FW into SG... how can they contradict themselves by giving incentive to SAHM? all along govt dun give to SAHM incentive de...

Etelle
Ya, is backdated to 17Aug le...
Not tat they dun wan reproduction... is tat they wan us to suffer n struggle as Singaporean...

be a FTWM n work-life balancing

 

[vjunior]

BC, if SAHM felt they are left out then they can alway consider going back to work haha.
For me, it's my choice so i wouldn't expect anything from the government. I do felt silly that the maternity leave is extended to 4 months,there is no ending...It's rather unfair to the employers and staff who is going to cover for the mummy.
If you want to work and have kids at the same time then you should adjust the mindset, shouldn't expect others to keep giving in to you...or risk being replaced, sooner or later.

G started playgroup almost 2 months liao, cried for first 2 weeks and has been happy to go eversince then. My domestic helper is arriving this fri, so happy i don't have to prepare lunch everyday liao haha

 

[jasminesym]

Mashy,
I share the same feelings as you when the govt only motivate those who contribute to the economy but not the sahms. We also need some candies as reward

In general, sahm made the choice to stay home because it is the most ideal for the family, but that also means we have to depend on single income to live by. Getting some relief from the govt helps to lessen the burden on the hbs and families. Sometimes, it is not so straightforward choice, we gotta sort out our priorities and make some sacrifices. What we desire may not be what we actually do. That's why mummies so wei da.

 

[koli]

jasminesym and Mashy,
TOTALLY AGREE with both of u. imagine my second one coming soon hubby said got to work or else cut down expenses. haiz.. already spending very little compared to last time. my credit card bill also only $100 plus a month. still cut?

i salute all mummies here who r SAHM and can still manage finance while having more than 1. shold learn from all of u.

going to do flexi relief again next july when 2nd one a bit bigger. i think can only do full time when N reach 5yo.

IF 2nd one a boy i am going to name him NOAH, girl dunno any nice name starting with N?any suggestion?

 

[jasminesym]

Koli,
girl ah? hmm....Natasha, natalie, nicolette.....

 

[mashybrainz]

koli

yah, it's so hard to survive on 1 income. Sometimes it's not a matter of choice whether we wanna go back to work or not. It's just that there isn't a choice. There's no family support (all grandparents are busy with their own work), maid is out of the question esp since there's no one to be at home to supervise, if childcare, the kid gets sick all the time (not that i didn't try before). So there's no choice at all. Working is for pp with the luxury of choices and plenty of help.

How abt Nadine, Natalie, Nellie, Nania, Natasha?

 

[violet_blaze]

err... mashy,
i dun hv much choices or help when it comes to caring for my #2 wor. He is taken care by maid alone at home... we figured we needed a maid more than a nanny when we had #2. And can't afford to engage a nanny and maid at the same time plus #1 is attending cc.
Anyway I do agree with u that the govt shd provide some incentive to SAHM. SAHMs are nurturing our future workforce too ya?

 

[etelle]

Koli
http://www.babynames.com/....many website can search for baby names and meanings..do check it out

Btw when will u know gender???

ur hb still in army as a regular right? I thought his pay is more than enough for you to live lavishly? Why still ned u to work relief le? is it still about the save for retirement thingy?

mashy, Jasmine
haha yeah lor some "candies" for SAHM would be nice but think it's hard cuz govt want mums to work to contribute to economy le..haha...never mind la having children are blessings le...at the most xin ku a bit lor..its well worth it in due time...

 

[mashybrainz]

violet

sorry, i can't trust having a maid alone with my boy lor. I simply can't risk his life so that I can go out and work. After seeing all the horror stories of kids being abused by maids, i just can't.

My MIL who is a kindergarten teacher related this true story of her student. Her student was taken care by a maid. So it happened that the student started to keep obsessively cleaning his mouth and say dirty dirty. The parents later found out that their maid brought many men back to their home. So scary to think what they could have done to him to make him keep washing his mouth and say dirty. Well, u can probably guess what they did to him. I will not let my boy go thru this kind of ordeal even if it means having to scrimp more.

 

[violet_blaze]

yea mashy, i can understand la... i also struggled for quite some time before i decided to do that. After observing the maid for almost 2 mths we decided to employ her. Prior arrangement is for nanny to take care after my ML ends but then no one to help with things at nite. Esp when i need to express BM and fk is cry bb de... i'll be stressed man if no one entertains him.

I do give my helper my house keys but is sealed in envelop and told her oni it's for emergency use. The neighbour next door has my house keys and since she is a housewife she can help me check on my son once in a while. I also installed a video cam in my house and did tell her I hv installed a cam. So I view it occassionally fm office

Anyway, now me coping well without maid la

 

[mashybrainz]

Violet

Doesn't your hb help u at night? It's difficult if you have to handle everything alone. I also have to rope in my hb to help. He's not just a sperm donor, so he better do his part.

 

[summer_bb]

hey Bulma
i guess i must have logged in too late... are you in HK already? heehee. HK is actually not that baby-unfriendly, guess it has improved alot. I very kiasu lah, i let her drink distilled water and brought along Tiger food jar, rice to cook porridge and pork floss for her to go with her porridge. But on some days i slack just let her eat the food outside which is perfectly fine

The holiday was very tiring with Tiff... have to carry quite alot after she has grown tired of her stroller and plus her intolerable tantrums. We don't go back to hotel for her nap. She will either nap on the cab ride and after that i will transfer her to the stroller or she will nap in the MIM sling on me.. quite xiong. Overall, it's still enjoyable.

Violet
No matter how good my maid is, I still cannot trust her. They are a diff person when we are around/not around. Although i have not experience anything bad so far (touch wood) but i am still very skeptical about maids. Now that you have no maid, how is the arrangement like for the kids? I can't wait to have no maid so that i can have my privacy back! Anyway, my maid very good life, since day 1 till now she dun have to wake up to help me with the kids. but i also dun expect her to do it lah, i prefer to do it myself and get hb to help when he is in 'oblivious' mode.

 

[violet_blaze]

mashy,
the earliest my hb reaches home is 830pm but tat's quite seldom, so i hv to handle the 2 kids alone. So last time with helper life is easier for me, now still ok la... get used to it already.
He usually takes care of my gal's b/f and sends her to cc as he goes to work later. Over wkends sometimes he will just handle the 2 kids in the morning while i sleep in. Both of them wakes up very early since young....
He will help whenever he can lor... Nite time is quite out of the question most of the time, unless I specifically tells him certain days i need him to be home earlier than usual.

Summer,
bulma holidaying in HK now le, she left on 26th.
HK not so bad for kids la.... how the hongkongers survive one ya?
When I was there last nov, I dun feel the pains and aches, but once back in Sin, my body's like spliting
Fortunately my gal doesn't need to be carried, else my bones will break while we were in HK liao

Atually i'm pretty lucky to have very 'helpful' neighbours 'cos most of the families along my side of the corridor open doors de, so any strangers passby they will see...
My helper is quite auto mode type, no need to repeat so many times. And she adjusts her time schedule according to my kid's wake up time oso. Sometimes i forget things she will remind me de I'm jus the vvvv lucky one to get a good helper.

Talking about privacy, although i do miss all the help that i'll be getting but I do look forward to the days that we hv our own privacy lor. My helper still sms me now-and-then and she misses my kids, esp fk as she took care of him since he is 2mths old.

My gal goes cc full day since 2yo and she takes dinner at sch so i dun hv to rush back to cook for her. Phew!
Fk goes to nanny in the morning and she will send to cc and fetch him back, 9am-12nn. Then is nap and dinner at her place, i fetch him at 7pm.

Next yr FK will go to my gal's cc full day and takes dinner there, my gal will go to after sch care and the fk's current nanny will cook dinner for her. So all settled!

 

[jasminesym]

violet,
It is a blessing to find a good nanny that you can trust. They took on the role of our mum/mum in law to care for our little ones.
Summer,
Actually, Hong Kong is just like Singapore, very cosmo type, just that the place is not as clean and more cramped. Bringing our toddlers overseas at this age sure means lots of carrying and running after them, definitely more tiring. I am planning yr end trip to Osaka/NZ/Australia, wondering should I bring him or not. Dun bring, I very easy as my older ones(10 n 8 yrs old) are independent but I feel bu she de to leave jerry home esp over christmas. If bring, I very peng san as he is very attached to me, push stroller, carry, feeding all must be done by me.

 

[etelle]

Maid
sometimes i see my sil havin a maid to help her with housework, with the 2 kids, run all errands...kinda envy for her having a good helper...but yet when it comes to myself..i cannot bring myself to engage a maid le..cuz i believe even with maid i still end up doing all the things myself..hee hee

Hongkong
gonna ask bulma for feedback hee...sounds nice most people gng holiday to relax and chill...summer share le..how is HK? What are the must sees and which hotel did u stay in??

Mashy
the example that your mil quoted sounds terrifying le...poor kid...

 

[summer_bb]

Violet
Yes i think it's a plus that you have good neighbours. My neighbours all close door, including myself lah. Your arrnagement now seems seamless

Wah, but i think expenses also very high with 2 kids having to put them to CC and nanny. But next year your gal goes pri sch and after school care, that should be a little burden off. I cannot imagine when my gals have to go CC...

Maid
When i first had maid, i wanted to send her away coz i find myself not delegating and am still doing things on my own. But over time, she was very proactive and she took the initiative to stand there and watch while i do things and she will automatic do it for me when i have not done it. Only then, i felt that it's quite shiok to have a maid around. Everything autopilot. But u know one day the maid is gone i sure peng! haha.

Hong Kong
Yes, the place is more dirty and cramped but still manageable. Agree that it is very similiar to Singapore. I will be going in Oct again on biz trip but this time hubby will join me for extension. Weather then should be like aircon cold. Etelle, dunno if it must sees but some places to recommend which I visited:

(1) The Peak
- breathtaking view of the city at night. Mt Faber is nothing compared to the view here. It's better to make your way up at about 5-6plus and wait for the sun to set. The dusk view is very beautiful. There are houses on The Peak, wonder who are those filthy rich staying there. There's also the tram ride up or down the Peak, quite interesting.

(2) Disneyland
- small for the adults, good enough for the kids. have to queue quite long for the rides and each ride last less than 2 minutes. better to go there on a weekday else it will be packed with tourists from China. they have the parade by all the disney characters, very nice with water spraying everywhere. Fun if your kids enjoy it, but basically Tiff was screaming away coz she is afraid of the water.

(3) City Gate outlets
- factory outlets like Puma, Adidad, Esprit, United Colors of Benetton, Burberrys, etc. Price not fantastic. Esprit is the cheapest there.

(4) Street Markets
- Fa Yuen Street is good for children's clothes, very cheap. Prices there are very reasonable, may not even need to bargain. Opens from morning to evening.
- Ladies Market is bustling at night. Things are overpriced and need serious bargaining.

(5) Macau
- impressive night view which looks like Las Vegas. Casinos everywhere! nice shopping streets and shops. Must eat their famous portugese egg tart and pork cutlet sandwich/noodle. Macau is a 1.5 hours ferry ride and children pays full fare.

 

[etelle]

Summer
did u go ocean park?? Is HK very easily accessible to everywhere?? I may want to go in Oct but they said that it's national day celebration or trade fair or something and it's super crowded though.....

so overall did both tif and u enjoy?

Thsnks for the feeedback!

 

[siewlng]

Mashy
I dun have luxury of choices and plenty of help...

I am opposite of u... I die die dun wan to be SAHM, so I tot of ways not to be 1 hehe!
During YJ's 2nd months to 23th months we left her with nannies... they feed her dinner before we fetch her at 7pm... they are very nice person and love kids.

Last year, I had chicken pox, we left yj with them for 2weeks including night time. YJ was ok.

I did think of maid b4, but my hb disagreed. And his std of doing housework, nobody can achieved hehe! So I dropped the idea.

When YJ abt 2YO, we put her at full day CC... she cried for 2weeks, after tat she is ok liao.

Now she enjoys CC alot n pick up alot of things (even know how to correct our phonics pronunciations haha!).

Yj on and off got sick lah but I think still acceptable freq for me loh not as bad as last year le (hmm... maybe I am used to it liao). She recovered faster then previous loh, only problem is her sensitive nose so her runny nose take longer time but no discomfort.

YJ's CC no dinner provided, so I have to cook for her loh, heng I work from home... so I can have time flexibility. We dinner out every Wed n Fri loh, so only need to cook for 3days per weekday. Weekend, my hb do the cooking

Also, both my hb and I required to travel on biz trips occasionally... When either 1 of us travel, the other party 'suffer' loh got to fetch, cook n take care of yj alone

 

[summer_bb]

Etelle
Yes, we enjoyed ourselves

No i did not go Ocean Park, read reviews that it's quite run down now. But i do have HK colleagues who told me Ocean Park is worth a visit more than Disneyland. HK is very accessible, with their MTR network. But because i have a kid in tow and we have 5 adults and 1 kid, we prefer to take taxi. More worth it and hassle free. By the way, I stayed at Royal Plaza... very good location and hotel room are big and spacious. Actually Oct is not a good time to go due to trade fairs and hotel is super duper ex. For eg. the hotel i stayed in was 140+, now it's 310+.

 

[violet_blaze]

jasmine,
yes, i am really blessed with such good neighbours.
Actually fk's nanny is our next door neighbour so very easy to send and fetch last time... Now fk jus walk there and walk home, keke

summer,
yea, same as you. At first i oso find myself still doing everything.... then luckily my helper very auto.
Sometimes before i do it she has done it le... so I slowly let go more n more... until i become so lazy *shy*

My hb oso become lazy and after our helper left think he is the one that needs the most adjustment other than FK.
FK resisted nanny for about 1 wk 'cos he was too used to our helper.

HK
Think the in-thing is disneyland and ppl tend to neglect ocean park. We brought our gal there few yrs back so last yr we went disneyland 'cos no time to visit ocean park.
I read somewhere ocean park is constantly upgrading to keep up with the competition. Shd still be fun going there I guess. Not forgetting you can see pandas there

Maybe the next time i visit HK i will go again.

 

[mashybrainz]

violet

ya, agree you've good neighbours. I've a crazy neighbour who goes ard telling off everyone and making herself a nuisance, some Chinese tenant-neighbours and a bunch of rowdy Indian neighbours who look like they have an Indian band or something.

siewlng

Good that you found good nanny too.

 

[vjunior]

I felt it's unfair to say working mothers have the luxury of choices. It's just a matter of which option you want to adopt. SAHM can send their kids to childcare/nanny too if they wish to work. If you are worried that your child will fall sick,it applies to working mothers too.

Betw i am SAHM too, in case you think that i am siding the WMs.
Koli i am also very poor leh, have to live on HB but it's even tougher for him that he got to support me ,bb n maid.All expenses on him, but i don't think i can survive without a helper.

 

[siewlng]

mashy
Ya, I am... the nanny is so called 'well-known' in her area n highly recommended hehe!
I need to travel about 7 bus stops to get to nanny place daily loh... now yj's CC I need to travel about 4 bus stops, 2x changes of buses to reach. I guess good thing dun jus come by...

 

[mashybrainz]

Vs

Good for you. I tried working before if u remember, sent my boy to infant care but end up my boy was sick the whole 7mths that he was there. On medication all the time too. He's just not as strong as other kids and asthmatic too. So for me, there isn't a choice if I want my boy to grow healthily. He is so small sized now, less than 5% zone coz of his sickness.

Of course all working mothers worry abt their kids when they fall sick. Which mother doesn't? Just that if you have a sickly kid, can you seriously concentrate on your work? If I'm to choose between money and my son's well-being. I'll definitely choose him, which i did.

So I think that it's also unfair to say that all SAHMs have the choice to choose whether to stay at home or not. And, I can't afford a maid now that I'm SAHM. I don't consider myself very poor until in the poverty line coz at least I can still afford a car to ferry him to school. But some help from the govt will go a long way esp if no 2 comes along. I think every family has its own unique situation and it's not right to assume that just becoz you're SAHM means you can afford to and thus don't need any help.

 

[etelle]

i think it's unfair both ways la...not everyone wants to be a SAHM when they can choose not to. And not everyone FTWM wants to be working but they have no choice So each situation and each family and each circumstances is unique. And only you yourself know which is the better choice. What others say doesn't matter and wun change anything.

Everyone jsut hope that when govt distribute "goodies" everyone will get something..

Summer
then i better change and go another time bah...actually to go in Oct is quie rushing for my hb cuz he has proj coming up ..maybe next year lor..by then evan be 14 mths or so lor...hope easier..

 

[mashybrainz]

Etelle

Haha, totally agree. Just hope that govt distributes to everyone and not just a selected group. I also have no probs with the govt giving them the extra maternity leave & tax rebates, just wanted them to remember us and give us some goodies too. Coz we always end up being the forgotten lot. It may not help the rich pp, but will certainly help the lower and middle class pp.

 

[jappooh]

Hi gals,
ya i think all mummy will wan the best for the child. Despite is FTWM or SHAM. For me i am gald that my MIL help to take care of my boy but i will send him to cc soon. Cos 2nd one coming.. I dun think she can cope with 2 loh.

Now i am worried cos i dunno how long my boy will cry.. He is very sticky but no choice is a phase for him.

for me i have a choice to be a SHAM lar just that i choose to work cos we have others to support as well. So everyone make their own choice and see which one suit u best.

mashy,
i understand is not easy to be a SHAM. Cos i personally feel more tiring in taking care of elvin than work. that why i appreicate my MIL help.

 

[oscarsem]

Hi ladies
it;s been some time since i log in.
Congrats to the girls who are preggie and have 2nd one. Me also trying for 2nd one too. Hoping to have 2nd one next year.

Hong KOng
the ocean park is quite okie when I visted 2 years ago. They have seal and dolphin performance, sharks exhibition, panda exhibition and some rides and games. The most exciting is the long cable ride from the top to the end of the park. Quite Fun.
I prefer to go during cold season. summer is abit hot .. Singapore is already hot so prefer cool weather.

I like to eat the wanton noodles and their roast duck and their dessert. Nice.. thinking of it makes me hungry.

Govt Benefits:
All I can say that govt is govt. They prefer U help yourself rather than relying on them too much.

 

[koli]

jas
haven know gender yet but must think of a nice name first. hee hee... very excited.
Mashy
Nania is a nice name. me too, i cant trust maid. they wun take care and love as much as we parents willdo. my mum is helping me with second one also. i work to pay her so she can cook nutritious food for them. employing a maid for her so she can concentrate on my kiddos. when she goes work, both will tag along. my dad quit his job to help out in my mum's office so they can bring my kiddos together.

etelle
ha ha, he is still a regular. in fact he just got promoted to a LTC. just that we are still saving for retirement. dun want to tax on our kids to give us money next time. they will have a hard time next time. we still have both sets of parents. anything happen to them, we also need money to help out. just planning for rainy days. as for lavish lifestyle, i think have to cut back on expense and also work so can help my hubby to save more.

Vs
i am also thinking of shifting to HDB but now property dropped so not worth to shift yet. maybe in a few years time. treat my place as a investment first

re: migrate?
anyone thinking of migrating when grow old?

 

[etelle]

Koli
haha u sound more dong shi now...hee no offence ah...last time like sitll want to have fun and wild kind..but now like more rooted and exhibiting more and more motherly kinda feel le

Good for you. Sometimes things happen ad we are force to grow up and learn to cope...happy together most impt

migration ah...bo $$$ ah haha and hor family all in sg le...me very family person dun think can migrate..

oscar
yeah lor govt is more of like learn how to fish, dun always rely on them for fish...but still haha abit of perks for the sahm is good haha

work hard for #2 ah hope to hear gd news soonz...

Jappooh
jia jia you beng nan nian de jin hor..think as parents or in laws get older they dun have that energy to take care of 2 for us le..so we have to either engage a maid to help or seek other alternative...but u are very appreciative of ur mil...

 

[mashybrainz]

koli

hahah, totally agree that you've grown up. And that's a good thing.

Jia you!

 

[lemontee]

hello pretties..
long time no log in... just passed by to say hello.
how's everyone? me still the same...

anybody interested about the marathon i posted last time? can discount further if interested la.. my sis and brother in law can't join, but cannot refund, so wasted.

another thing is, who still have extra enfa tin foil for spare, i have plenty of receipts but just not in time to finished all... wuwuwuuwuw....
anyone?

 

[lemontee]

err...

if anyone can help me fill in enfamama club membership application form ?

 

[etelle]

lemon tee
sorrie i using gain iq and similac le..cannot help u...think most of the regulars n this thread maybe dun use enfa bah hee that's why no response...sorrie ah...

 

[oscarsem]

i have extra enfa tin foil
u wan

 

[etelle]

Sweeties
a couple of us have move to flickr to share our pics...to join us there if u guys have account k...then we can know how our kids look like with the days

 

[xiaochuan]

Hi all,

I am new in this forum. Juz wanted to say Hi and hope to learn from you lovely ladies out there.

Cheers

 

[mashybrainz]

Etelle

There's a limit to the no of photos u can post on flickr, so it's better to just post in facebook since we're also connected by facebook. My hb ran out of space on flickr. Hehehe.

Lemontee

I've weaned my boy off milk already. Hehehe. And he doesn't drink cow's milk anyway.

 

[etelle]

Mashy
yeah lor think only 20 pics hor haha..but facebook too open le haha dun like to put too many pics there le...anyone can view ur pics no privacy...hee

wean off milk ah...need to ah? thought let them auto dun want milk?? so what does caeden eat now?

 

[mashybrainz]

etelle

u can make restrictions so that only your friends can view ah. Unless u anyhow, anyone also can become your friend.

C takes normal solid food like us lor. Instead of milk for teabreak & supper, I've been giving him baos, sandwiches, cereal etc. For me it's coz my boy can't take cow's milk anyway, so no point hanging on to Isomil. Just had to make sure he gets his daily nutrients from other food.

 

[mashybrainz]

Etelle

Oh yah, btw Flickr is even more open. Anyone can view it.

 

[violet_blaze]

mashy,
can set privacy mode in flickr that only ppl classified as friends/relatives can view the pics

 

[etelle]

Mashy
yeah likr what violet says i changed the setting to only my friend/contacts can view le..haha but like facebook and friendster ah usually u will jsut add friends u know one mah...haha never like la use which ever mode we prefer bah...haha if only ringo still exist...sigh...

 

[oscarsem]

ya..if only ringo still ard

 

[bulma]

hi summer,
yes too late hahaha i m back last nite... mainly only went the peak, disney, victoria harbor walk walk, bo dai ji stroll along street... nothing liao how to enjoy holiday w a unable to talk and walk toddler plus a over-able to talk and run toddler ... J1 also keep throw tantrum til pple stared at me, i just sit there and stare back lor i feel HK not very kid friendly haha their departmental store dun even sell 1 single children stuff haha then me and hb realised along the street, u only see ang moh kids or tourists kids (those speak china mandarin or english, etc other than native cantonese), over our 5 days there we sort of like no see a hongkonger kid haha

i first night whole body ache til buay tahan go watson buy salonpas to spray haha my 2 kids - j2 dun say lah cos he cant walk but j1 is most of the time refused to walk.

 

[summer_bb]

Bulma
I know how tiring it is. My Tiff also refused to walk and sit in pram from 2nd day onwards so it's like carrying a 10kg sack of rice wherever i go. But i think yours worse, heavier plus got J2. Good exercise lah, haha. You're right, I also see 2-3 pregnant women during my 5 days there. I think HK birth rate also super low.

Which hotel did you stay?

 

[mashybrainz]

bulma

haha, u went to the wrong place lah. The kids are mainly in the HK island. I ever went to this shopping mall in the HK island, so packed with kids. There's an ice skating rink in there and there;s lots of kids learning to skate there. My friend's kid was one of them there.

 

[bulma]

summer, i stayed in kimberley hotel and disney hollywood hotel

mashy, usually is stayed kowloon mah then actually wanna go HK island walk but seeing the simply cant behave j1, we gave up haha dun even want to go anywhere unnecessarily

 

[mashybrainz]

bulma

how's the HK disney there? Thinking of bring C there in Dec.