(2006/01) Jan 2006 MTBs

SY
has your hb seriously calculated the family finanical status? meaning incomes via expenditures eg loan, bills etc. am sure when the figures are writen down and calculated, things might not be what he think it is. and of coz, things can be adjusted in terms of living standards and lifestyle. unless all these could not be compromise. there are many families out there with single income and a few children yet they are doing well =)
its all about compromising.

tracy
errr, 1st time in my life to know that BM 'can' improve eye sight! if it is true and science proven, i will give lor. but the thing is its Not =S
 


Mamachan/Mommies
Sorry I may have to "let go pigeon' for Wed's lunch cos hb last min wants to go to Malacca.

Tracy
Your family members are weird??? Just tell them bb needs the milk more!

SY
I can empathise with you. There was a period when I lost my cool with Mel cos she refused to sleep early and I have lots of work to finish. After that I felt very guilty and tell myself just get in to office earlier or lunch in the next day. Worst come to worst just tell my boss I need more time. Just try to relax and takes thing easy.

Rachel/SY
There are family of 5 that can survive with $2000+ a month and there are couples that can't even survive with more than $10k income. At the end of the day is very much up to each indv what they want and value in life. I guess is something that both hb and wife must agree on and no point forcing it if it's going to cost more arguments. I think alot of men are quite selfish in that sense. Like a few of my male colleagues would like their wife to be financially independent and yet able to spend time to teach the kids. I kept telling them that just doesn't gel!!!
 
SY,Rachel,May,Flo,
Tell me about it man. I think I can sell my milk for $1 per ml.

SY,
When are you planning to leave your current job to be SAHM? I'm sure you will utilise your ML leave first right? After that I'm sure you can take a break first to try out SAHM life for a couple of months, drawing on your savings for the time being and see how it works out. If it is really tight to survive on only your hubby's income, you can consider a half day work thingy or one that assures you of family time but at the expense of your pay amount.

Flo,
I agree. The delivery personnel in my company have like 4-5 kids each and they are surviving on single income! I'm always amazed by them.
 
May
actually my job is not that stressful. i m already quite good with my hours but it's just that the boss is quite last minute. and it's also cos i dun have enough info to do my things so all the factors make it more frustrating. plus i was feeling really tired the whole day so really wanted to finish up earlier and go to bed...

rachel
yeah we did sit down to look at the expenses. pretty high now cos of maid, car and JH's school fees. honestly speaking, if we carry on like this on hb's income alone, not easy to survive so if i really wan to stop work, will prob get rid of maid and change JH's sch. my parents have offered to help so it's not all bad but hb just feel insecure. sometimes i feel that we must try first before we realy know whether can make it or not but he cannot take that step.

flo
yeah, i feel so bad when i lose my cool with JH. felt so guilty after that. esp when he shows a lot of love for me after that. so always remind myself to be patient.....

i totally agree with u that somehow men have lots of expectations of us... i think my hb doesn't see that it is tiring for me to spend so much time with family and still cope with work. like yesterday, i din know got some more barley in the fridge and i opened a new packet and he said i can't be housewife cos i dun even remember such things. these kind of little comments really irks me. of cos i can't remmeber now cos i dun go to the fridge everyday. and preggie women memory sucks what.... then yesterday when we were watching the charity show, he kept saying how i m forcing him to work harder and never think abt him. isn't it the same for him? this morning he brought it up again and i got so fed up. what about me then? i m also working and still need to take care of the family. really pissed.

tracy
my current contract ends in oct and i have no plans to stay on cos i dislike the job. like what u say, i will just try out first. but the difficult part is if i try out and then hb wants to get rid of maid, then i decide to go back to work, we need to find a new maid. so really need to think carefully. he refuse to let me work PT. he thinks it's full time work at half the pay...

i m thinking of taking up tuition or doing small biz with my mum probably for income... or maybe i shd just go and blog like those bloggers that they featured...haha
 
SY

It is not easy to live on a single income esp with the inflation rates nowadays. For my family, we're in negative equity now coz of the acccident. We can only recoup later when the payout comes which could take a year! sigh. But really, if on single income, many things have to give. You cannot shop and buy things as you like. You prob have to stay in your current hse for a very long time. You cannot buy a lot of fancy clothes/accessories/toys for your girl. And your hb might dump the entire household chore on you since you're at home and he's the breadwinner. He'll probably think that he deserves a rest after a hard day at work while you don't deserve any of this since you're at home and 'not working'. You'll be working 24hrs a day, no leave, no mc, no rest. Even when you're sick and feverish, you still have to take care of your kids.

But, you will get to watch over your children, get hugs and smiles from them, cheer every single milestone and achievements that they make. You get to teach them the way you want without any interference from others. You get to stay in the home that you had been so painstakingly trying to pay for in the past.

The decision for me came when i realised that it's so silly to slog so hard in office, only to let other people enjoy my son, (for a maid) to enjoy my home. Yes, life is hard being a SAHM. But I don't think I will want it any other way. I don't think I will wanna go back to work in an office setting.
 
SY

hahaha, blogging. That's an idea! But what your hb said abt full time job with part time pay is right. My ex-colleague was doing part time in civil service. But she was practically working all the time, even at home. Yet, her pay is cut by half despite the same amount of work load. Is your job a desk bound job? Possible to change it to work from home? I know MICA allows some jobs to be done at home. The translators from MICA all work from home. No need to go office.

When I wanted to stay at home, my hb was also not supportive. He only allowed me to stay at home when my dad agreed to employ me to work from home. But of course, that didn't materialise in the end. Heheh, by then already too late, coz i've already quit my job.

Getting rid of the maid is something you will definitely have to consider. for us, it's the maid or the car. I find that i really need the car to send my boy to school, so I prefer to keep the car and get a part time maid instead.

Perhaps what can change your hb's mind is if you can get some alternative income. Put it to action first. Once that materialise, i'm sure it'll set your hb's mind at ease. Tuition is a good way if you can do it. Unfortunately, i don't have to gift of teaching school work.
 
SY,
If you have plans, give it a try. Dun take something that is high risk, just a income which you can still spend on kids.

I personally experience from work from home. Ha ha actually not easy to juggle. Usually day time will be spent on kids and after they sleep, I am struggling wth reports. Tat is why that time I still send Aden to nanny.

Anyway lets meet for lunch and chat. Today or tomorrow ? What time ?

1. Chicken Little
2.
3.
 
Re. SAHM
When I was SAHM for 4+ months, I love the time spend with Isaac. I felt that I was contributing directly in his growth and development and there was a great sense of achievement. Yet on and off I will think about how it was like working. In a way I miss the sense of purposeness and self-satisfaction associated working. While I was SAHM, I do not do housework at all, I only cook for lunch for myself and meals for Isaac. My HB does not expect me to be a maid for staying at home. And life pretty much remains the same even when I was SAHM. Weekdays I'll concentrate on Isaac, weekends my HB will takeover being Isaac's playmate and we will do the housework together.
The only thing is we both felt the pinch financially. For the few months while I was SAHM, to be honest, we did not really make effort to live more frugally cos my HB had a good pay rise and bonuses. But we both know that on his single income, it was not sustainable and I began to worry about him having to pay for my personal insurances, Isaac's insurances and maybe give my parents' a bit of allowance in the long run. I feel bad about it cos to be fair to him, he has done his best in terms of caring for Isaac and doing the housework (though I always argue that I do more... haha). And though he didn't put pressure on me to find a job, he did bring up the fact that finance will be tight if we want a 2nd kid and have a good retirement fund and he asked me whether we can really give up the luxury of having a car, go for holidays a few times a year etc. I think I can, but deep down I do understand his worry about him having to take on the burden of saving for himself and the whole family. What if something happens and even this single source of income is cut?
And so I thought minimally, I should get a part time job that pays enough to cove my own insurances, to give my parents token allowances and a bit for myself to spend. But in the end, I went back to full time job. To be honest, now I do not think about going back to be SAHM unless I feel that Isaac needs my full time attention or when no. 2 comes along.
I felt that my HB was understanding and supportive but in the end, it was I myself who felt that I had to share my HB's burden in supporting the family financially as he was a great help in the house and with Isaac.

SY,
Also things are not so simple. To be SAHM, you must have your HB's fullest support and help to care for your kids and help around the house. If your HB is going to harp all day on how hard he has to work to sustain the family and he is not helping out at all, then I guess you are better off working. Why don't you start writing down your expenses and see where you can trim, eg. no maid, smaller car etc. and see whether it is workable within your HB's expectations.
 
mashy
i know it's hard but i m willing to try but he not as willing to let me try. he just doesn't see the value of having the mother ard the kids. it all boils down to that.

i dun wan to keep thinking abt work and then in the end losing my temper with the kids.

i already cut my own spending nowadays cos i really wan to save more to stay at home. dunno whether hb can see the effort or not...

CL
i can meet tmr.
happy.gif


queen
it is easier for u cos your hb helps out much more. while he has tried to spend more time with JH, there are a lot of things that JH doesn't allow him to do. though i have a helper, i also wna to be more hands on esp when i m at home. but my hb doesn't help out so much. and he spends quitea fair bit of time still working on weekends and i ahve to handle the kids by myself most of the time unless i dump to the maid which i dun wan.

if not for #2, i will not consider staying at home so soon. it is quite challenging i feel and really tiring but i m even more afraid of not having enough time with #2.
 
SY
I suggest you dun be so stress over this now. Relax and enjoy your last trimester. I think you have a idea of selling something. Why not bring in small amount and test market now. If it works, you can slowly work towards it during your ML while looking after #2. Why stress now and think so much. Take it easy.

Cityhall Lunch - 27 May
What time and any suggestion ? Preggy mummy any craving ?
1. Chicken Little
2. SY
 
SY

Actually since your hb is like that even when you're working, you can be assured that he'll be worse when you stop working. You will really have to handle the kids all by yourself even on weekends. It's important to get your hb to support this, if not you'll only grow frustrated and in the end it's still the kids who'll suffer.
 
CL,
yeah i try not to think abt it but whenever hb brings it up, it irritates me.

hee, no craving as long as food is good!

mashy
i already expect my hb won't help much if i stop working. i know it's going to be harder time but end of the day when i look at JH, i wan to do it for him and #2. Jh is quite good with me alone. the only thing is too energetic and refuse to sleep. other than that, he can play pretty much on his own nowadays.
 
Moms-only-get-together Hi-Tea
Will keep it simple for this year, just meet, chat over good food!

Date: 28th May, Wednesday from 2pm onwards
Venue: Marriott Hotel Cafe

1) MamaChan
2) Rachel
3) Sysac
4) God's_child - Will try
5) Yuki
6) rena
7) Chicken Little - Just applied and see if approve (Goodwood Park and Marriott Cafe)

Marriott Cafe Intl/local Hi-Tea 3pm - 5.30pm. at $35++. UOB Card Dining Privilege is 1 Complimentary buffet with every 3 payg adult diners.

Mummies going for Hi-Tea, I will call up Marriott Cafe during lunch to make reservations ok? Any other changes I should take note of?

God's Child and Chicken Little, so you both confirmed going??
 
SY
Lunch tomorrow confirmed. No problem for rena's stuff. What time tomorrow ? I sms the rest to check.

Mamachan,
Yup leave approve. will be joining
 
Is the Popular Sale at Expo worth going?

I've got a Swenson 1-for-1 ice-cream sundae promo, valid from 26-30 may 08. anyone wants pm me ... i'll email back with the evoucher

.ky.
 
ky
i din pop by the popular sale. they have sale almost everymonth so wonder whether still worth going or not

CL
think abt 12.30?
 
Hi SY,

re SAHM, I've been one coming 4 yrs in 1 month's time, and by far, this is the only job that I've not regretted getting into and not counting how long it's been already. However, as everyone else has said, you need to do your maths first. When I first decided, I've set aside savings for my personal insurance (which was quite a fair bit as I believe strongly in insurance) for 2 yrs + having a 2nd child. And as long as the sum is still available, I'll continue... My hubby was very supportive of my move ... that's really very impt as without him, I'll not survive so far. There are some sacrifices that the family made - the car is paid for by hubby's allowance so that stays, I've learnt to love our place as upgrading is out of the qn, overseas trips are generally out of the the qn (or rather we've put that under luxury items put on hold). In fact, rather than viewing it as sacrifices, we view it as a lifestyle that we've chosen to lead. Hubby's very mindful of his working hours too as he would prefer to come home to the kids than working late. He did feel the pressure too esp when the housing loan interest rate keeps creeping up. I was lucky to have a home-based job and that came into his considerations when we choose to have a maid (I didn't know that as he kept quiet). I only knew that I've to keep the job if I want to keep the maid when I mentioned that I'll like to give up it. You basically have to buffer in certain luxuries and you do have to consider your social life. I'm one of those that's ok to spend time at home with my children but I must get out with them within a week, even to the park. And even though I've curbed spending on myself, I tend to splurge on educational items for the children ... I just spent couple of hundreds on books.

I'm letting go of my maid, and possibly do the housework myself as it's something that I missed doing the part 2 years plus (that's a plus point of being a SAHM for me as I take proud in cleaning my house rather than outsourcing it) ... ya, I know what you mean when u don't even know what's in the fridge ... me too currently.

Having share all these, ask yourself what you can make-do (love its absence) and what you must-have and will they still be available with the single income ... I've got frens who tried and eventually know that it's not suitable for them or when they realize the financial constraint makes it impossible for them to continue.

All I can say is go with your heart and try it, grass always looks greener on the other side but you wouldn't see its actual colour if you don't step across to take a 2nd look...

.ky.
 
ky
i totally agree with u. grass always looks greener right? i guess i m also partly influenced by my upbringing cos my mum was always at home for us. and somehow it shaped the thinking. i know we need to cut back on qutie a fair bit and i have given up arguing to keep maid or even car. but of cos if can keep one, i will choose to keep the car cos i also wan to bring the kids out at least once a week! i have cut my own spending and also tried to rely less on the car as well. been taking bus and MRT sometimes with JH.

and i like to spend some time in the kitchen if possible but with maid ard, sometimes feel a bit restrictive. hee like u, i take pride in doing some of the things myself.

the only thing now is my hb not supportive. he still feels my income more impt than me spending time at home with the kids.

u have a homebased job? can PM me more abt it? i hope to do something homebased to get some income so hb feels more secure.
 
Sorrie!!! gota take out my name cos cant take leave... have huge pile of work to be done and audit is commencing soon... apologies.. enjoy urself k...


Moms-only-get-together Hi-Tea
Will keep it simple for this year, just meet, chat over good food!

Date: 28th May, Wednesday from 2pm onwards
Venue: Marriott Hotel Cafe

1) MamaChan
2) Rachel
3) Sysac
4) Yuki
5) rena
6) Chicken Little - Just applied and see if approve (Goodwood Park and Marriott Cafe)

Marriott Cafe Intl/local Hi-Tea 3pm - 5.30pm. at $35++. UOB Card Dining Privilege is 1 Complimentary buffet with every 3 payg adult diners.

Mummies going for Hi-Tea, I will call up Marriott Cafe during lunch to make reservations ok? Any other changes I should take note of?
 
Moms-only-get-together Hi-Tea
Will keep it simple for this year, just meet, chat over good food!

Date: 28th May, Wednesday 3pm - 5.30pm
Venue: Marriott Hotel Cafe - Booking confirmed

1) MamaChan
2) Rachel
3) Sysac
4) Yuki
5) rena
6) Chicken Little

Marriott Cafe Intl/local Hi-Tea 3pm - 5.30pm. at $35++. UOB Card Dining Privilege is 1 Complimentary buffet with every 3 paying adult diners OR 15% off total bill. The lady over the phone say we cannot charge the remaining 2 diners with additional 15% off. So....unless you want me to book under my name for 4 pax, then someone else's name for 2 pax and have our tables arranged side by side? heee.....

Looking forward to seeing you all for hi-tea. Those who had taken half-day leave, wanna meet earlier to jalan-jalan together??

CL
Likely I won't be joining in for RP lunch tmr since will be going for hi-tea on Wednesday.
 
SY
KY's and the rest of the mommies' advices are really good. Just take small baby steps one at a time. I know your desire is to really be always there for the children. I feel that when #2 is born, you would have a handful to juggle with let alone have a home-based job. It would be even more frustrating then when your hb has a huge workload to clear even at night over the weekends. He might even resent the fact that he's slogging hard as it is so that you can stay home in future.... most men as it is have very little to say and cannot express well what they think or feel to us and they expect us their wives to have pyschic powers to read their minds. For him to keep bringing up that he doesn't feel that it is a good idea for the family to be on single income, something must be really bothering him deep down. Could it be his past experiences left him feeling insecure and it doesn't help that he still have to face his mum's nagging on the finances? Sometimes must really talk it out, not just on your part but he must speak out his "grievances" so that the both of you can reach a compromise. Perhaps that after your ML, that you can continue on for another 3-4 months without pay to see how things goes.... that's what I did after my ML for D...but for me, our finances are too tight with loans to pay off, insurance (I too believe in having personal insurance and some savings plan)...that it's quite impossible that I don't work...

To take heart that if your dreams don't actualize, it doesn't mean you'll shortchange JH and your princess...I'm sure they will still thrive and grow up well under your guidance. So long you know where to draw the line between work and family, I guess that's all that matters.
 
Chopsticks

The price of the chopsticks are as follows:
Toto & zeze = $8
Rabbit = $9 (only 1 blue one left. Not sure when the next order will be coming in…so unless mummies want to wait)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = $10
Junior Chopstick = $10

Due to the price difference…pls help me confirm if you still ok with any design…and if you want the rabbit…whether u want to wait?

Plus just learn something new…chopsticks got difference between left handed and right handed ones (think the training rings are put on different side). So let me know if u require left or right handed chopsticks.

Toto & zeze = orange (left handed), blue, pink & yellow (right handed)
Rabbit = yellow (left handed), pink & blue (right handed)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = think no color difference but got left & right handed too


Here's the list:
1) Maywong (pink)
2) Tracy x 4 pairs (any 4 different designs with one pink included)
3) Flo
4) Sleepingdeer - any design is fine
5) tabbiesusx2 pairs -any design
6) Mashy -any design ok so long as not pink.)
7) bblon x 4 - any design ok as long as not pink
 
sorry to be so chiong hei
To add on:
I've seen two scenarios in my own family (my aunts) to know that either arrangements, be it SAHM or FTWM, their children are all happy, thriving and well-mannered teenagers. They are still closely knitted and still bond well with their moms and doing well in their school, albeit not the super scholarly type.

All these have been because the small efforts in the simple things like eating dinner together, spending the evening after dinner with each individual child as well as a group (my aunts each have 4 and 3 kids respectively)...spending weekends with some family oriented activities i.e. swimming together/picnic even long weekend getaways....nurturing values in them that builds their character and morals.... and all these, my maternal uncles also layed their part by being involved in active parenting as well.

So long hb and wife are united in their views of parenting style and beliefs....I believe our children will thrive no matter what and excel in whichever area they have their giftings in.
 
Chopsticks

The price of the chopsticks are as follows:
Toto & zeze = $8
Rabbit = $9 (only 1 blue one left. Not sure when the next order will be coming in…so unless mummies want to wait)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = $10
Junior Chopstick = $10

Due to the price difference…pls help me confirm if you still ok with any design…and if you want the rabbit…whether u want to wait?

Plus just learn something new…chopsticks got difference between left handed and right handed ones (think the training rings are put on different side). So let me know if u require left or right handed chopsticks.

Toto & zeze = orange (left handed), blue, pink & yellow (right handed)
Rabbit = yellow (left handed), pink & blue (right handed)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = think no color difference but got left & right handed too


Here's the list:
1) Maywong (pink)
2) Tracy x 4 pairs - Toto & zeze: Orgx1, Blux1, Pkx1 and Ylwx1 (noted org is left-handed)
3) Flo
4) Sleepingdeer - any design is fine
5) tabbiesusx2 pairs -any design
6) Mashy -any design ok so long as not pink.)
7) bblon x 4 - any design ok as long as not pink
 
SY
at the end of the day, with all the valuable sharings from other mummies here, you must have the support from your hb. full support. with him kept bringing up the issue and irritating you, it is clear he is not for it. work on his knots 1st and the rest of the journey will be much easier and at least you have each other's shoulder to lean on. Jia you! the power of motherly love is amazing =)
 
Hi gals

re: chopsticks

You might wanna look at this thread. It's cheaper if you don't mind just choosing between doraemon and rabbit designs. And they've only right handed designs.
 
mamachan
so now only me with UOB card? am fine with any arrangement as long as we all get to enjoy the food and discount too =) thank you so much for arranging!
not able to join for jalan jalan before our gathering, get morning activity for dylan and his playgroup mates and then got to deposite him at my mum's place before i head out to meet you all at 3pm.
 
mamachan
i know what u mean. i intend to rest for a while after ML and then see how. actually my parents have offered to help us financially. they are really keen for me to stay at home to look after the kids cos they can't help me since they are moving to china and they feel more secure. so actually finances part it's not that siong on us. just that our level of savings will grow much slower.

i know hb feels insecure and i wan to try to reassure him but also dunno how. he can't see the money so he feels insecure right but i can't do anything abt that. can only take one step at a time and pray that God will guide me in the right direction.

but sometimes i just find it so unfair that he expects me to shoulder the same financial responsibility and then at night when he comes home, he continues with his work while i take care of JH and then i can only start my work after JH sleeps...

u brought up another good point. my hb doesn't make it a point ot bring the kids out with me on weekends. that's one thing i have always been nagging him abt. can u imagine that even up till now, i bring JH alone for sunday school? i asked him whether can drop me off so i dun need to walk so far from carpark to church he also never. so all the more i feel one of us shd be ard with the kids.

rachel
this support thing is the hardest! maybe cos i grew up in different envt from him so i can't totally understad his fears. but even then i feel that he is penalising his own family with all these insecurites he can't let go. can't make him see that though.
 
SY

Your hb not a christian? When it comes to sending to Sunday Sch, a non-christian may feel resistant towards it. I suppose u can only pray that he'll have a change of heart.

Ya, it's unfair that he expects so much more from you than of himself. But you're not alone. There's many women out there who share the same experience. The men are still in the old school of thought. They think that they should just concentrate on their work while the wives should look after the children. The only difference from now and then is that the men also expect the wives to bring back the bacon. Crazy right? It's better to stay single, not so siong.

I think in all marriages, communication is very important. Don't expect things that you don't communicate to the other partner. Perhaps you should arrange a time without the kids and talk to your hb. No work, no kids. Talk it out, if not more frustations will set in. It's better to nip the prob before it rolls into something bigger.

It's difficult when he has an emotional burden which he finds it difficult to let go. Like your hb, I also grew up with lots of financial insecurities. I find it hard to spend money and hard to be generous to people. i know how it feels when you don't know when the next dollar is coming. I know my weakness and try hard to overcome it. It's a constant struggle but that doesn't mean i don't try lor. Some pp can feel very suffocated when they don't have enough in the bank. I will feel my heart pressure rise when my bank account dip too.

Maybe you discuss with your hb about financial goals. How much is enough for him? How much time does he think he needs to devote himself to pursuing this dream? Sometimes pp don't know what they want and blindly pursue something that isn't there. It's good to think about it and put it down in writing or verbalise it.
 
Tracy,
Here's my order.

Chopsticks

The price of the chopsticks are as follows:
Toto & zeze = $8
Rabbit = $9 (only 1 blue one left. Not sure when the next order will be coming in…so unless mummies want to wait)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = $10
Junior Chopstick = $10

Due to the price difference…pls help me confirm if you still ok with any design…and if you want the rabbit…whether u want to wait?

Plus just learn something new…chopsticks got difference between left handed and right handed ones (think the training rings are put on different side). So let me know if u require left or right handed chopsticks.

Toto & zeze = orange (left handed), blue, pink & yellow (right handed)
Rabbit = yellow (left handed), pink & blue (right handed)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = think no color difference but got left & right handed too


Here's the list:
1) Maywong - Toto & Zeze: Yellow x 1 (right handed)
2) Tracy x 4 pairs - Toto & zeze: Orgx1, Blux1, Pkx1 and Ylwx1 (noted org is left-handed)
3) Flo
4) Sleepingdeer - any design is fine
5) tabbiesusx2 pairs -any design
6) Mashy -any design ok so long as not pink.)
7) bblon x 4 - any design ok as long as not pink
 
Rachel
I haven't calculated which is more "hua suan" for us. Will work it out during work then will let you know on that day. Guess have to tompang your UOB card...is that ok with you?

SY
I really agree with mashy...communication is a must in all marriages/relationships. I'm pretty sure that money is very close to everyone's heart and your hb is someone who needs to see certainty in all the plans, including those that involves money. It's good to know you have big plans and assurance, but your hb might not have the same faith level as you have. Or perhaps is he facing any personal financial challenges that he didn't share with you yet? As much as your own parents are willing to support your decision, your hb might not be too comfy with the idea as after all, despite how chauvanistic (pardon if it's wrong spelling) it might sound, but he's still head of the family and marriage. It's still his responsibility of providing for this family unit of his plus his own mom

Think it through step by step. End of the day, really, it's our own hbs that we will grow old with while our children, as much as we have nurtured and equipped them for their future, they will leave our nest one day to form their own family.
 
SY,
Yah. Cyst is still there. Gynae says 2 cysts. one is hormonal cyst, the other blood cyst. Says just continue to monitor.

PT cleaner
Does anyone knows how much a PT cleaner will cost and any good recommendation? Just brought it up with hb again. After my persistent nagging, he just gave a non-commitant "go find out more" answer. :p

Tracy,
Oh my, your grandma so funnie

May,
Been contemplating that too. Just check with you how do u tell your new company about willing to take a pay cut? I always wonder if any company will accept that kind of reason. Worried that they think that this interviewee must be not good else why willing to take pay cut....

SY,
My hb oso dead against me stopping work.

Mashy,
Din see any link for the thread for chopsticks. Mummies let me know if u still want the chopsticks if there is somewhere selling it cheaper.
 
mamachan
sure thing la, unless i forgot to bring my wallet out heehee


going for my 1st gynae appointment @ 2pm today =)
these few days my energy level is quite low, keep wanting to sleep and it does not make it any better when dylan is so active... always on the go. but lucky thing is he does not demand for bao bao as often bcoz i started to tell him "mama is tired and cant carry you for long." very thanskful he actually understand and agree to come down.

another little update is me and hb decided to convert dylan's baby cot into the junior bed last sunday. was quite worried initiatly that he will not stay in his bed after i walk out of his room or keep getting out of his bed in the middle of the night and all of us cant get a good night rest. thankfully he was delighted to be upgraded and happily arrange his pillows and soft toys whenever he woke up *grin* so far so good! i even took photos of him and his 'new' bed, memory of another little milestone of his =)
 
Hi I just realised i don't need the chopsticks anymore. tabby just picked up an ordinary pair and used it!

Chopsticks

The price of the chopsticks are as follows:
Toto & zeze = $8
Rabbit = $9 (only 1 blue one left. Not sure when the next order will be coming in…so unless mummies want to wait)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = $10
Junior Chopstick = $10

Due to the price difference…pls help me confirm if you still ok with any design…and if you want the rabbit…whether u want to wait?

Plus just learn something new…chopsticks got difference between left handed and right handed ones (think the training rings are put on different side). So let me know if u require left or right handed chopsticks.

Toto & zeze = orange (left handed), blue, pink & yellow (right handed)
Rabbit = yellow (left handed), pink & blue (right handed)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = think no color difference but got left & right handed too


Here's the list:
1) Maywong - Toto & Zeze: Yellow x 1 (right handed)
2) Tracy x 4 pairs - Toto & zeze: Orgx1, Blux1, Pkx1 and Ylwx1 (noted org is left-handed)
3) Flo
4) Sleepingdeer - any design is fine
5) Mashy -any design ok so long as not pink.)
6) bblon x 4 - any design ok as long as not pink
 
Chopsticks
Toto & zeze = orange (left handed), blue, pink & yellow (right handed)
Rabbit = yellow (left handed), pink & blue (right handed)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = think no color difference but got left & right handed too


Here's the list:
1) Maywong - Toto & Zeze: Yellow x 1 (right handed)
2) Tracy x 4 pairs - Toto & zeze: Orgx1, Blux1, Pkx1 and Ylwx1 (noted org is left-handed)
3) Flo
4) Sleepingdeer - any design is fine
5) Mashy -any design ok so long as not pink.)
6) bblon x 4 - any design ok as long as not pink
7) queen - Poroporo The Little Penguin (right-handed)
 
SH,
I didn't go back to Marketing line. I change to Customer Service (dealing with export documentation). More desk bound. After I grad from Poly, my first job was CS (contract for 6mths) then I changed to Marketing.

So if you want a less stressful job, perhaps can try admin related lor. Which line are you in now? I normally go thru agency to look for job, at least chances of going into MNC is higher and they will sweet talk to ur new employer into giving you chance for an interview.

Ya, they did tell me that due to lack of experience, there will be about $500 paycut. Actually before that I am mentally prepared and willing to accept salary between certain range. So after interview, the pay is still $100 more than what I expect, I agree.

Some qns that they will ask are:
1) Why do you want to switch into something new to you?
2) Do you know there will be a paycut? Looking into that you have already have a kid and family, will there be any financial prob?
3) Do you think you will be able to handle this new job? Are you willing to learn?

Oh ya, previously I had a PT maid but did not return after she say she going to get married. Stupid me still give her a big angpow and waiting for her call to come back. Paid $10/hr for once a week (4hrs) cleaning. But now no more PT maid. I am not used to having a stranger to stay in house so against the idea of having FT maid. My hb is the one that kept wanting a maid. We come to a conclusion that if I have #2, we will get a PT maid to help out.
 
mashy
my hb considers himself a christian. he is just lazy...haha....cos got to wake up so early to go church then he needs to change his fish tank water etc etc etc so i always go on my own.

yesterday he said he also wants to cut back on work and then spend more time with the kids. i told him he is not very realistic. he keeps saying he wants to go and take a pay cut and be some fast food restaurant manager. then i told him in that case, we still have the same expenses. JH may need to go full day cc and we still need a maid cos i have to work. then isn't it even harder? he kept quiet then. sometimes i know he has all these weird ideas cos work is stressful at this period. but he always thinks he is right and that i dun think through issues. makes me irritated when he talks like that!

mamachan
where finances are concerned, he is not very MCP...he is ok that my parents want to support but he feels that if i work, we have more savings that's all.

sometimes so hard to communicate with him. during weekdays he no patience cos of work. during weekends, he is always doing some other thing...but i know we must talk it out somehow. but our views are so dfiferent that we always end up arguing when we talk...

SH
PT cleaner usually abt 10 per hour. they do about 4 hours per week. i dun have good recommendation cos the one my Mil using is very slow. she always complain that the person cannot finish cleaning in 4 hours.

re cityhall lunch
where shall we meet?
 
SY

Instead of telling him off for having such ideas, why don't you encourage him to look for another job. He's obviously feeling very stressed (and probably depressed) from this job that he's having. Get the recruitment page out and help him. Even if he needs to change his work scope, let him be. Don't feel irritated but support him. I think he's also feeling very down and pushed to the edge coz 1) he can't quit his job (maybe that's why he won't allow u to as well), 2) he's forced to work long hrs and probably face a lot of pressure at work and 3) you don't support him in changing his job. I think in order for him to support you, you will need to support him too. I think once his work environment changes for the better, maybe he'll feel more at ease to let you stay at home.

I remember there was a time pre-C, I was very depressed at work and I wanted to quit. My hb then came to me and said he wanted to quit his job. Tell u, i was quite pissed. Coz if he quits, then I'll have to stay stuck on the job that i don't like and feel really suffocated. I think in a way, i can understand how your hb feels abt this, coz he obviously dislikes his job.
 
Moms-only-get-together Hi-Tea
Will keep it simple for this year, just meet, chat over good food!

Date: 28th May, Wednesday 3pm - 5.30pm
Venue: Marriott Hotel Cafe - Booking confirmed

1) MamaChan
2) Rachel
3) Sysac
4) Yuki
5) Chicken Little

Marriott Cafe Intl/local Hi-Tea 3pm - 5.30pm. at $35++. UOB Card Dining Privilege is 1 Complimentary buffet with every 3 paying adult diners OR 15% off total bill. The lady over the phone say we cannot charge the remaining 2 diners with additional 15% off. So....unless you want me to book under my name for 4 pax, then someone else's name for 2 pax and have our tables arranged side by side? heee.....

SOrry mummies,

Unable to join for the HI TEa as my part time cleaner is only able to make it tomorrow.
 
mashy
i have been encouraging him to look for another job but he wants to wait until july. then he kept saying he wants to go work at mcdonald's and take pay cut...not realistic for us. i have been asking him to change jobs for the longest time but i think he just loves this industry. plus a lot of the telcos undergoing changes so he wants to wait also...i think he's also quite comfy with the envt like his colleagues etc so got inertia to change jobs. plus no time to look for job as well.
 
Cityhall Lunch
1.Chicken Little
2. SY
3. SL
4. Tabbiesus

What time is good for you ladies ? SL wants non fried food. There is a new fish soup quite popular in market street at Seah street now. Or we can go soup restaurant along seah street too.
Timing 12.30 ok ?
 
Chopsticks
Toto & zeze = orange (left handed), blue, pink & yellow (right handed)
Rabbit = yellow (left handed), pink & blue (right handed)
Poroporo The Little Penguin = think no color difference but got left & right handed too


Here's the list:
1) Maywong - Toto & Zeze: Yellow x 1 (right handed)
2) Tracy x 4 pairs - Toto & zeze: Orgx1, Blux1, Pkx1 and Ylwx1 (noted org is left-handed)
3) Flo
4) Sleepingdeer X 2 - Toto & Zeze (Yellow), and Poroporo the little Penguin (Right handed)
5) Mashy -any design ok so long as not pink.)
6) bblon x 4 - any design ok as long as not pink
7) queen - Poroporo The Little Penguin (right-handed)
 
Hi Mommies,
just back form my mini break, was good to relax and eat and sleep and dp nothing else, except entertaining S is still the order of the day.

SY,
personally I feel HB support is very important, coz they will feel the stress of beingthe only one bringing home the bacon, and alot of times, fights can break out because of $$ issues. Though I quit my job with my hb's full support, in fact, he was the one was strongly feel that I should stay at home to care for S, we still have fights over money. He feels the stress being the only bread winner and in a way, feels that I am enjoying life right now... sometimes, I also get very sensitive when he when he starts asking me about my finances and what did I spend on etc.. so even with support, it can be tough losing your financial independence and having to account for every single cent to your hb...
 
Mamachan
Paisei, hope there is no limit on the number of people Rachel can sign with her UOB card

SY
I agree with Mashy that your hb is prob stressed at work that's why he's behaving in such a manner. There was a period before we had Mel that my hb was unhappy with his job and wanted to try something on his own. I was very stressed up and unhappy with my job too but was stuck cos I'm unwilling to take the risk of both of us being out of job for long period (it was during the early 2000 when the job market was very bad). I felt unfair and “imbalance” emotionally cos why he can always just do what his wants (I guess cos his family is better off than mine and he has never worried about money all his life). End up our relationship was quite strain for a while. After that, I just tell myself if I don’t let him try out, he’ll still be thinking about it 10 -20 years down the road how he would have been. And then was the best time to let him try cos we have no kid and not much financial commitment. Fortunately everything turns out well subsequently, he’s back to a regular income job (tho in a different industry) and I’m still in the same company but feeling much happier. Mashy is right, perhaps let him stablise first then you think of moving later. If not, you may end up arguing frequently which is even worst for the kids’ well-being…hang in there, I’m sure god has his plan for you.
 
SY

I think everyone has a high inertia to change. My hb needed my constant nagging for 1 yr before he started looking at the recruitment pages. Then help him lah. Take out the recruitment pages and circle the jobs that you think he might be interested in. Your enthusiasm will rub a bit off on him after a while.

July isn't that far away. It's time to keep a lookout now. Since u said he got no time, help him sift thru the pages for suitable jobs. All he needed to do is to update his resume. U can even help him send. If he's not happy with his job now, I tell u, u will be waiting for a very long time to be a SAHM, if it ever comes. I think he still wants the option to quit if he wants to. But if you're a SAHM, he doesn't have this option for him.

I don't think he's that serious when he says he wanna work at Mac. C'mon, don't we all said that we wanna be a receptionist at one time or the other but how many actually did it. If he's that serious, he would have sent in his resume. Just laugh it off, make a joke abt it and don't scold him anymore. Sometimes we just need to rant. From what you said of your hb, he doesn't sound like a very happy & contented man now.
 


Hi mummies,

Sorry for the late reply. Had submitted my leave for tomorrow's high tea pending approval still. Should not be a problem i think.

I have a UOB card as well.
happy.gif
 
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