(2005/10) Oct 2005 MTB???

kuririn, me still taking folic acid all the while. once my current bottle of multi-vit finish, gynae say no need to take multi-vit liao.
 


sneaky: u staying with ur in-laws? sounds like ur in-laws v conservative type wor....
u mean all the brothers & sils stay together with ur in-laws wan ah?
how cum dil cannot go back to her own home to stay??? hmmm....i still go my parents' to stay especially when my hubby go for reservist....it is only now tat i am pregnant that i seldom go back to stay..cos now more dependent & sticky of
hubby hehe....

do u go back to ur parents' place often?? i go home at least 2x/week...hee..i will miss my parents & my brothers wan..so sure have to go home ...hehe...somemore go home liao...can gossip with my mum....hehe

aiya...i everynight also have to shout at my hubby to come to bed to sleep...if not he will sit in front of pc and surf till he doze off...wow liew...dun understand these guys...got comfy bed dun wan to sleep wan to sleep in front of pc....*SIGH*

like now...hubby went to worksite to check on his workers again...me alone in room now.....intend to go sleep first...cos i think he will be back late...
 
Hi all MTB,
so long never do posting already, coz quite busy at work recently. Yesterday went for my checkup, and my gynae told us that i possibly having a prince. heeheee, so i can start thinking of my boyboy name already.

Jenifur,
Please update for me, i having a prince. Thank you.
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Kuririn,
My gynae told me yesterday that i have to take my multi-vit,fish oil and calcium till labour. He didnt give me any other folic acid.
 
garfield: yes, i'm staying with my in-laws. not that they are conservative...it's that my SIL doesn't practice staying at maternal parent's place and my hubby ever warned me before not to "san tou liang tou hui niang jia". he's quite MCP one...and yes, i do go home very often; in fact, if i can knock off early, i'll just drive to mum's home straight from work, stay there for an hour or less then come back home also shiok! sat i'll spend around half a day at mum's place and sun a few hours in church and throughout dinner loh...well, i'm still super close with mum...i've been calling her everyday without fail since the day i got married...my hubby never dozes off in front of pc...he's very disciplined one...once he cannot tahan, he'll wash up and then get on to bed...well, like you've mentioned, cannot understand these guys leh...wat's so nice abt the computer, tv & xbox??? waste time only...

snow: congrats on your little prince!
 
Sneaky: No lah, you are not sticky, cos I'm also like that one.
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But now it's not me who insist that my hb must be in the bedroom with me when I fall alseep but my girl. If Daddy is home that evening she will insist that he lies on the bed till she falls asleep. If he's not in the room she will drag me out to get him in. Hee... And anyway now I have formed an attachment to my girl and can't sleep without her by my side. I've learnt to sleep without hb liow cos he's home late 4 nites during the weekdays.
 
haha..Sneaky.. Some men are hooked to surfing net, xbox, playstation..It's just like some of us girls who indulge in shopping, fashion, gossiping, watching Jap/Korean/Hkg drama series... Cannot blame them..to you they're wasting time, to men we gals are wasting time too!

I admit that I would prefer my hubby to accompany me to zzz...but it's simply not possible as I have to sleep earlier than him as I start work very much earlier.. So I make it a habit for my hubby to spend some time watching tv with me, tuck me into bed before he goes off to his next best friend- the pc.

Well...our hubbies also need their private/ personal space...try to understand lor..marriage is about about mutual understanding, rite?
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I'm also staying with my in-laws & I occasionally stay over at my mum's place especially whenever my hubby is outstationed. I would inform my in-laws in advance, and they'd totally understand that I miss my parents and wouldn't mind me staying over occassionally. But 1 advice: Do tell ur hubby what your preferences are, instead of resigning yourself to fate. Otherwise ur hubby will take things for granted and 'climb over ur head' more in future if you always give way coz u know he's MCP! I'm sure if u discuss matters wif hubby amicably, situations will improve and u'll be happier.
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Sneaky, Yeah..Not blaming baby.. It's just having to cope and adjust.. My FIL also told my hubby before marriage that we shouldn't stay at his place or my parent's place overnight after marriage.. Don't understand why.. and my hubby listens to him.. My hubby has to work overnight about 6 times a month, don't see why I can't do back to my parents' place to sleep when he's not in.. You are not sticky..
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Agree that don't sleep so well when hubby is not next to me.. don't feel as secure being alone at home..

Puea.. Oh.. ok.. I'm quite happy with my HL milk
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Kuririn, I was advised to take my Folic acid til delivary.. It's suppose to help in the nervous development of babies..
 
Hi Jamci,
wah thanks for ur advice on bf. u are really brave to have gone thru natural w/o epi. Did u do a lot of swimming/walking or other exercise during ur entire pregnancy? cos i also hope i can be strong after birth and not the weak weak kind. sure very xin ku one. I feel that preparing ur hospital bag 1 mth in advance is not kiasu liao leh... cos u never know when u will go into early labour mah. better to be well prepared than last min. I intend to do that too, hehe. Btw, are there any other things we moms to be should take note of?
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Morning Gals,
Mrs Tan, so now your headache got better or no more liao? I'm still experiencing it. I really hope it will be over soon.

I'm also staying with my inlaw and will go back to my mum's place to stay when hubby not coming home to sleep. Like Fushiastar, my hubby every 3 days will not be sleep at home. Sometimes I wonder if the world is changing... it seems like so many of us are experiencing hubby/wife not sleeping at home everynight. Is this the new era? hehe..
 
morning everyone!

i think because of demanding career that cause such a phenomenon..
my hubby said if given a choice he would of course wan to stay at home and sleep with me..but sometimes...work is really pushing lor....
sometimes, i really pity my hubby...i mean he is a man..and therefore he is under a lot of stress...he has to make sure he earn enuff to support his wife and bb...so sometimes, wife like us shld be understanding lor...

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Fresia, Breakbeats, at least you can go back to your parents' place to sleep..

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I'm pretty surprised that so many of us have husbands that don't come home to sleep at night so regularly too.. At least here I can find people who understand. Most of my friends don't have this problem.. I remember when we were dating.. One of the things my hubby said was that he liked the fact that I'm so independent.. Sigh.. Even if I'm supposedly independent, I would still like for him to be home to sleep with me at night right? But then I knew that his work required him to work overnight this often before marriage so I've had fair warning..

Yep, agree that we have to be understanding.. That's why I don't complain and don't argue with him about going back to my parents' place to sleep.. To think about it, at least I can sleep at night, he's working through the night..
 
I don't mean to cause a rift in anyone's marriage by what I'm going to say next, so please don't take what I say back to your marriages, k?

I can't help but wonder sometimes and be suspicious lately when my hubby has to work overnight.. I didn't use to be suspicious at all before.. He shows me his roster for the month and the days he has to work overnight.. On the nights that he works overnight, he will call me once at night and again early in the morning.. If I call him at anytime in the night, he will pick up the phone too.. Recently I accidentally saw this sms on his hp (I dont check his hp but he asked me to check an sms for him) and it was from someone at his workplace.. The contents were relatively innocent.. He kinda reports to her and she was telling him the she's going off and asked if there was anything he needed to ask her before she left.. His reply to her was that it's ok.. but he addressed her as "girl".. It went something like "Hey girl, it's ok.. " I saw that and was thinking.. that's not how you address a colleague, a bit too familiar, right? His colleagues know that he's married, he wears his band..

Don't know if it's because I'm pregnant now and it's all the hormones that's making me more sensitve now or that there's really something..

Plus he doesn't have sex with me anymore.. says that he's tired.. but then his tiredness level should be the same now.. And I'm losing my figure, maybe that makes me more insecure too..

It really doesn't help that the China trainees at his workplace hit on him.. His work is such that the location of his work changes every month so every month he comes in contact with a new set of people and these China trainees are always hitting on him.. So irritating, they know he is married and still do that..
 
Fresia,
my headache seldom have liao..touch wood. how abt u?
but then my constipation is not getting better..been having hard stools despite drinking lots of water, fruits and veg. all dont help. so i am taking prune juice now...
 
kris: i guess life with be a bit different with a kiddo around. i think i will be less sticky to hubby when my kiddo arrives...

breakbeats: well, it's not fair to say that...i fully dedicate my time and life to my hubby when i get home...he also must understand that i'm married to him, leaving my family, living habits, etc...i've ever stayed alone a few times (with in-laws) for longest 10 days straight when my hubby went overseas...very lonely one...

fushiastar: maybe i think he has a bit of conservative thinking loh...once a couple gets married, they should stay on their own and the DIL should not go back to their parent's house to stay as and when she likes...hui niang jia doesn't sound good mah...

fresia: interesting topic huh???
 
<font face="calisto mt"> Morning,

Guess all of us hv problems w HB ya.

Sneaky,

Pardon me on saying this but Y can't ur HB bring u along when he go out for late night movies etc w his bros? If he cannot spend time w u then I dun see Y u cannot go hm to spend time w ur mum.

My HB always bring me along when he goes out w his pals. He only leaves me @ hm when I dun want to go. I dun think u r sticky cuz I'm like u too. I feels tt ur HB has to be more understanding to ur needs esp during this period of time.

Fushiastar,

Actually hor u r not alone lah. I tend to get suspicious of my HB when he said he has to work late. I get v irritated when I hear him talking nicely to his female client. It gets worse when we also hv not been making love for few mths. His reason is tt he's worried bout hurting his little princess &amp; he's v tired &amp; stress. I know is wrong of me to feel this way but I cannot help it. Hv talked to my HB &amp; he's been trying to spend every single min w me &amp; cut down working late. But I still get worried/suspicious loh.

Frenz who hv given birth warned tt most of us will definately go thru this phrase when we'll start to doubt our HB's love etc...</font>
 
Hi gals,

So long never log in liao.... Finally got the time to log in this morning as I am on MC. Got my flu and fever from my colleague so hb dun allow me to go to work today. I really envy u all can log in during office hour. I normally dun have the time to log in when I am in the office and when I get home, I will only log in sometime to read some of the posts...

Hi Jenifur and Fushiastar,
I do get suspicious of my hb too... We did quarrelled over this when I confronted him on this. Finally, I did talk to him nicely and tell him about how I feel abt this when his mood is good. He did assured me that things are not complicated as what I think. So it maybe a good choice to tok to ur hb how u feel. But do choose the day he has good mood hor....
 
<font face="calisto mt"> Nuttnuts,

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Do take care of yourself ya.

I've tried toking to my HB but I still get worried &amp; suspicious. I was never like tis b4 pregnant. Thru out e past 10 yrs w my HB, I've never doubted him, only now. Guess it's our pregnancy hormone making us feel insecure...</font>



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Hi Mrs Tan, i did not go for swimming or any other exercise. I am too lazy...haha
But of course i did walked a lot everyday after my lunch. I still go shopping before the day i deliver...haha
I thought must got blood or waterbag burst, then it is consider labour. Never thought contraction also is a sign.
But if really your waterbag burst, u must quickly go to hospital and check better.

If got contraction, no need to rush to hospital so soon, can take shower and have meals too. The feeling is like your stomach suddenly tighten up...very tight!!!

Luckily my gynae let me go home rest first when i went to hospital to check. He asked me to come back later. At least i need not bear the extra cost of the hospital bill. Even at 4pm, he admit me to the ward instead of delivery suite to save cost for me. So i stayed at the ward until 12am and when the contraction became too unbearable for me to bear so i requested to wheel to the delivey suite.
And also the midwives there also will encourage epi leh...think all hospitals are like that cos they got commission leh.
 
Sneaky:

I'm only saying to try to understand why men like to spend time on games/ surfing net, of course that doesn't mean they can overdo it! I can also perfectly understand the loneliness when hubby not around..I also find it more diffcult to fall asleep whenever hubby is outstationed..but what to do..work is work..
 
Jamci,
wahhh no exercise at all and u had such a smooth delivery. lucky u! wat was ur total weight gain, if dont mind me asking? anything else u did that might have helped in the delivery?

actually sometimes i do feel tummy tighten up and stretching feeling..but after a while, it will disappear. I thot contractions are somethg like menstrual cramps, no meh?
 
fushiastar/ Jenifur:

Can understand how u feel.. My hubby sometimes outstationed in China and I'm quite sure his clients sure bring him out for 'entertainment'... Some more my hubby commented that the mainland girls nowadays are well-dressed &amp; pretty !

Whenever I tell my hubby about my insecurity when he's not around , my hubby will reassure me by saying how can he do anything to hurt my feelings when I'm going thru this difficult period of carrying our child. He also assure me that he will never stray or fall for another woman unless there is a unmendable crack in our marriage. And after I voiced out my feelings, he'll call me everyday to 'report' what he has been doing or will do, so as to reassure me. Plus he will try to spend time with me whenever he can.

I agree with NuttNutts, I think best thing is to relate your feelings/ fears/ concerns/ insecurities to your hubby..even though hubby has done nothing wrong and we might be over-suspicious especially at this vulnerable and emotional stage of pregnancy...but at least if you come clean with your feelings, your hubby will try to be more sensitive and respond with actions to prove their faithfulness.
 
<font face="Calisto mt"> I agree with breakbeats tt we shld always come clean w our feelings so our HB will try to b more sensitive.

I'm quite lucky tt my HB had been "warned" by our frenz bout this insecure/emotional phrase tt I'll go thru. So he's quite ok bout it.

I jus got a terrible news from my mum tt my aunt cannot help to bbsit my girl. She jus realised tt her schedule is too packed. Gosh now I mus start searching for alternative, @ a loss</font>
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Jenifur, Breakbeats, Nuttnutts,

Maybe I'm being too sensitive.. Open communication is important but right now there are so many things that bug me and he's also not in too good a shape himself- being tired and all.. He doesn't laugh as much as he used to..
I'm still trying to find a good time to try to talk to him.. So many topics - This girl thing, money, why he doesn't have sex with me anymore, my job choice, getting some part time help, food (I insist on buying low fat foods and he just buys whatever is on offer), going with me for antenatel class (He doesn't want to go with me, says that it's only for pregnant women).. The list goes on..

Yep, we all have our own list of problems.. Thankfully I have a God I believe in and this forum to come and let go of all my frustrations..
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Non pregnant friends just don't understand and the ones with children have their hands full
 
hi gals...u all dun think too much k? must trust ur hubbies...

sometimes when i slept alone in bed, my mind will wonder around and i will start to think of the negative tots like is my hubby really at worksite now or is he fooling around now? hehe...then hor...i tell myself must trust hubby and i stop thinking abt it...

guess now our hormones changes so kinda affect our mood....dun let hormones control us wor...

*HUGZ*
 
fushiastar:

Take one step at a time, settle the top-priority things first, like buying bb stuff and getting part-time help. Wait for a gd opportunity to bring up the more sensitive issues- sex, money, your insecurities..but dun drag too long..if not it'll put a stress on your marriage &amp; u feel more &amp; more 'kang kor' as time flies.

Btw, when I bring up the question of "why no sex? " my hubby said he doesn't wanna bring discomfort to me or bb now that my stomach is so big..PLUS he said that he dun wanna hurt my feelings but "if you are a normal guy, would you be sexually aroused by a woman with a huge tummy?" Boy, am i pissed upon hearing this..even though if it's the truth, it hurts!

As for the antenatal class, if it is a lecture hubby dun go its still ok, but if its exercise class..tell your hubby it is important for him to be there to give the physical &amp; emotional support and say that all other preggies come with hubbies!! That should be able to persuade your hubby somehow.
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jenifur: yes, he's willing to take me out for movies even with his bro...i don't want cos it's a waste of money for me to go and sleep right through the movie. he also takes me out kopi sessions with his friends and he doesn't stop me from going home during my free time (e.g. sat &amp; sun) but he don't like the idea of me going home to stay...it's not as bad as you think...
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breakbeats: i will try to understand...it's better that hubby engages in indoor/at home hobbies then to go out without me...

all: i think we shall drop this topic of getting suspicious of our hubbies, okay? let's not make ourselves more miserable by thinking deep into it...actually it's nothing...it's just our hormones playing tricks on us...
 
fuschiastar: ya, my hubby also still remembers the massage techniques to help me relieve water retention and tho he doesn't do it very often he still massages me now for our 2nd pregnancy. The knowledge of the birth process will also help prepare the guys so they know what to expect when we go into labour.

breakbeats: As for ML, there are other ways (and you can let your hb know) that you can help hb relieve himself.
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It's definitely true that pregnant ladies are more emotional, this is the time when we definitely must speak to our hbs and make sure they hear our feelings and concerns.
 
hey, my hb also spending alot of time with his black box - PS2
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especially these few days coz he bought some new games and one of them is super nice (according to him) so even on weekdays we reach home about 8plus he will immediately ask me for permission to go to his beloved black box.

But I told him ok but by 1030pm must fall in at our bedroom. Most of the time he will be so hooked up that he forget its already 1030pm so I got to physically stand infront of the tv to tell him to fall in. We chat for awhile till 11plus then fall asleep.

So far it did not bother me that much coz I was watching tv myself or entertaining myself with skincare routine...

One thing which really upset me thou is our love making sessions reduce to once every 2~3 weeks now. It make me feel so unappealing, unwanted and insecure... I worried he cannot tahan the urge and go outside to satisfy.
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Am I worrying too much.
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<font face="Calisto mt"> Sneaky,

Okie. For a moment I tot Y he so bad, dun wanna bring u out... My HB will get also hooked to his PS2 once he starts playing with his brother.

I guess most guys r jus insensitive. We'll hv to accept it &amp; pray/hope tt they will improve.
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It's all stupid pregnancy hormone fault, make all of us so miserable. It's so tough to be a woman</font>
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fushiastar, i'm like you also. But I have learnt to be independent. The more I should be independent now that I'm pregnant. If *touchwood* anything were to happen, at least, i'm not caught off-guard and duno how to react. Yes, we should be understanding towards our hubby, but I felt that they should also be understanding towards us also. We are pregnant and yet still need to worry so much. All they have to do is to use their mouth and say "sayang, things will be alright" etc... then baby comes, they just help as and when needed. I don't think he will be so great to really help out like what a mother will do. Maybe in just a few days, they will be complaining that the bb is affecting them and they have no "energy" for work the next day... i guess more will come when the actual senario comes. Not being negative but sometimes just can't help it.

Another negative qn: anyone of your hubby till now still goes clubbing or pubbing with colleauges? Then leave you all at home worrying if he drink drive, etc..... Do you think this is a reasonable thing for hubby to do now?
 
Do you all feel unwanted now that hubby will refused sex by saying "worry will hurt bb"?

Mrstan, maybe you ask your gynae to give you stool softener? Its not a laxative but it will make te stool softer to pass out. Also, take lotsa papaya. I also like that, got to take fruits and drink lotsa water daily. I only take the stool softener when necessary.
 
celine ~ i agree!!

the love making sessions are getting lesser lesser n lesser.. i oso have the same feel tat he mite end up someware else..... haiz.. how how how???
 
huh? our attention is already diverted but can our hb attention be diverted too...men have sex urge one right??
 
Ladies,

Like wat sneaky said, let's not fuel each others' suspicions.
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Cos of our hormones, this has become a trying period in our marriages; we must learn to trust. Marriage can't just be abt sex. Trust that you have chosen to marry the right man who knows better than to fool around just cos there's no sex when his wife is carrying his child.
 
no lah....its just that my colleague told me recently her fren just gave birth and noticed her hb getting very weird (they have not have sex since she get pregnant). Her hb even took the hp into the bathroom when he needs to bath, said alot of OT/shifts etc

so I got a feeling being pregnant is already tough still must hope hb withstand outside temptations during this period.
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I tell myself that it's hormones too.. But somehow the issues are still there.. You know us females.. We just feel better when we talk about things, even though they don't get solved..
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My hubby's reason is not cos he worries it will hurt the bb.. I wonder what's the real reason cos my friends that were pregnant say that once they start getting bigger, their husbands don't want to anymore.. They give all sorts of reasons.. I think in reality firstly positioning gets more awkward, they are afraid of hurting us or the bb and maybe they just don't get sexually aroused by us at that stage.. It's quite hurtful to think about it, but it's quite real lor..

~
Garfield, yep trust is important...
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Breakbeats.. Have to take it a thing at a time.. if not I think I'll be unhappy all the time..
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Celine + Morraine: Don't worry too much about your hubby getting some outside.. I agree with Kris, there are other ways
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If only my hubby's not always tired..

Fresia + Sneaky, It's not so much that I feel unwanted, but that I miss it and I miss that part of our relationship.. My hubby doesn't club/pub.. Maybe ask your hubby to cut down? Tell him that you are concerned about him and can't sleep well unless you know he is home safely?
 
hi everyone... i haven't really been following the thread religiously and just started reading today .. suddenly everyone's now talking abt hubby-woes! I hope we all sail through this difficult time. You ladies are v strong to endure lonely nites without hubby...

I visited gynae today she says baby is now 900g! :D i told her i ate alot of durians.. she says growth is only average woh!! but sometimes average is also good lah. I could see my princess covering her ears, doc says now v senstive to sound.. so good if you can get your hb to read or talk to bb more often.. hope they can steer away from their pc n xbox..and spend more time bonding with bb. My hb is actually abit jealous that i get to bond with bb for whole 9 mths so whenever he can he will talk or sing to her....

btw, i have such pain around my wrist.. wonder if any of you have the carpel tunnel syndrome.. it hurts from the min. i wake up.. i have to wear a wrist brace now.
 
Gals: Aiyo..dun anyhow "hu si luan siang" okie..?

I agree with kris..have faith in your men..and if they have the urge, can always help them out in other ways instead of the actual love-making
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fushiastar: i also miss it leh...*sneaky shy shy*...but this type of things how to say to him? wah...we all sounded so deprived of sex hor...desperate ah??? kekekeke
 
we shld think on the bright and happy side of our pregnancy and dun get too worried..not good for bb wor....*SMILE*

must trust ur hubby &amp; ur r/s...
 
<font face="Calisto mt"> Morraine,

Hv not seen u ard for quite awhile liao, busy huh. How's ur detailed scan? U expecting a prince/princess??

Ladies,

I think it's not gona b easy asking us to stop worrying bout our HB straying or suspecting our HB etc.... But we mus know when to draw a line &amp; dun let tis push us into depression.

My colleague ever told me bout how her cousin's frenz got into depression &amp; nearly killed her newborn cuz HB was always not ard during her pregnancy. So scary
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Let's not bottle up our feelings. We can always share our problems here if there's no one else to turn to.</font>
 
MC: ur bb quite ok mah....why doc say the weight is average..how many months u in?
so far, my gynae has never told me the weight of my bb gal...hmm..next apptment, i am going to ask..hehe
 
MC: i've been eating quite a lot of durians lately too...and i really feel baby's growing very quickly...wonder if gynae will stop me from eating...kekeke...btw, i do have pain at my right buttock area...it hurts quite badly whenever i turn from one side to the other when in bed, when i lift up my right leg to wear panties or get up from a chair...wonder what's this all about...hubby bought me a maternity support belt quite some time ago and i have not tried wearing it to work yet. maybe i shd start putting it on but am a bit worried of over-relying on it...
 
garfield, i'm week 27.
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EDD 1oct.. i asked gynae for length of bb from head to rump she said can't tell anymore - now rely on wt only.

sneaky.. good! but doc says stop eating cos' i'm supp to gain only 2kg per mth, and in jun i gained 3kg!! so she says - stop eating..but if yr wt gain is fine i think ok!!
 
<font face="Calisto mt"> MC,

I've also been forced to eat durian every alternate days until I'm so scared of it now
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. Not sure if it's helping BB to grow but then I noticed that she moves/kicks more within e 2 hrs after I eat durian. HB always jokes tt BB is trying to steer away from durian cuz she like her Daddy find durain too smelly.

I also get tis pain on my back after sitting for too long or sometimes when I wake up. But I always choose to ignore. Perhaps it's time to get a maternity support belt</font>
 
It's good to talk it out but don't dwell on it right
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Don't eat too much durian. Heard from my aunty her DIL ate soooo much durian that when the bb was born, the face got lotsa pimple like dots. ops!
 


I guess it's the upsurge in hormones in the body that make you gals so suspicious. Sometimes we need to be understanding towards our husband as much as they try to understand us, especially when we are pregnant.

So far, I never suspect my husband anything (keep my fingers crossed). He plays the Xbox and watches soccer everyday after work, but he will automatically shut them off after 12midnite on weekdays and keep me co. and chit chat in bed before we sleep. I will allow him to watch or play xbox till 2a.m or 3a.m during weekends. I still allow him to go clubing with his friends after I am pregnant, I don't mind he leave me at home alone. I tries to be nice to him because since I am pregnant, he has been very accomodating to me, I can really see how much he cares and loves me. He used to ferry me to and fro school everyday without fail though our workplace is far apart (his is west mine is east)...but since school reopen this week, I have been taking buses home myself, I want to be independent and do not want to trouble him. I have backache sitting in buses for long hours but I din want to tell them that.

I believe that if you talk to your husbands nicely, things will work out well for you.
 

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