1yo throw tantrum

SGmummy93

Member
Hi, I've a 1year 2months Daughter she always throw tantrum when I get back from work around 9pm. My MIL says she doesn't throw much tantrum during morning and afternoon, only throw when she saw me. What should I do?
 


It's her way to seek your attention, as 1 year old don't know proper way of expressing their feelings.

What u can do is the moment u arrive home, call out to her name with joy. If she throws tantrums, tell her to smile first then you would like to hug her. Then tickle her or do sth that is happy action - singing, clapping or just hold her little hands and feet on yours walk together to your room. You can leave her on a cushion on the floor whilst you put away your work stuff, etc. Let her be near you but yet you're making feel you are with her, chatting with her a little here & there without overdoing so she don't depend on your voice all the time nor tire you out.

After you're changed out, you can put her on your lap and read to her. Whenever I read to my 1-year-old, he will always be quiet (attentive as they're absorbing & learning). S'times he'll flip faster then I can read, so I flip back & simply says "not so fast, mummy not done yet...". By K2, he surprised me one day saying "Mummy, I read to you!" Try
 
It's her way to seek your attention, as 1 year old don't know proper way of expressing their feelings.

What u can do is the moment u arrive home, call out to her name with joy. If she throws tantrums, tell her to smile first then you would like to hug her. Then tickle her or do sth that is happy action - singing, clapping or just hold her little hands and feet on yours walk together to your room. You can leave her on a cushion on the floor whilst you put away your work stuff, etc. Let her be near you but yet you're making feel you are with her, chatting with her a little here & there without overdoing so she don't depend on your voice all the time nor tire you out.

After you're changed out, you can put her on your lap and read to her. Whenever I read to my 1-year-old, he will always be quiet (attentive as they're absorbing & learning). S'times he'll flip faster then I can read, so I flip back & simply says "not so fast, mummy not done yet...". By K2, he surprised me one day saying "Mummy, I read to you!" Try

But for my case, when I reach home I did called out for her name, but get vary reaction from her, sometimes happy sometimes cry.

If she cried I would go carry her and say mummy is back, or went in to my room to put my bag, before approaching her.

But if happy , after I go in she would want me to carry and stick to me. Then I cannot do anything, including eating my dinner . As She always would want to eat those food I eat, but my Mother in law would ask me not to let her eat cos she drank her milk or ate smth alr.

My Mother in law always ask me to make her sleep early, but whenever I want to turn her in to sleep she always make a big fuss about it.

Reading book to her she will snatch the book and play, there's no ways to read to her.

My girl , whatever she wants she doesn't get she wants she would cry and cry, if I doesn't stop her crying they would think I don't know how to take care. But if I give what she want, they would say I pamper her.

Mostly she only throw tantrum with me. Therefore they always say I don't know how to take care, failing to be a mum. What can I do
 
Might wanna try these :-

1. Get her a bumper seat - those that are safe & with a small table to put her food

2. 1-year-old shld hv her own healthy food of spinach, mackerel, carrots, tomatoes, salmon or cod. Adult food might mostly be too spicy, oily or fried food are not suitable for kids. Similarly, herbal soup for mummies are not suitable for very younger toddlers.

3. Your baby like mine, use to hv hard time then I realized they're very smart babies - of course won't sleep coz want to stay up just like adults. So, I got whole household to cooperate - my helper do quiet cleaning, hubby in room does his work - all lights switched off with only dimmer lights. I put on lullaby soft music, pat him to sleep. He might pull my face or sth, but I persist in my "pretense" till he slept.

4. Ya. Toddlers do 'snatch' but you demo calmly replacing book to where you last read & continue. Keep repeating that "mummy wants to read to "her name"...

Being firm is a skill for new mums to acquire. S'times being firm may also mean you need to 'ignore' her tantrums if she don't listen/obey well. If u give in, they'll know how to manipulate their cries for attention.

My boy did that to me when toddler too. MIL & helper said "very well behave good boy until u come home start his tantrums". So I begin to do my usual, ignoring (meaning don't let it bug me). Go on with what u need necessary to do daily & they'll get use to it. You must give yourself & your girl time to accept. Don't expect her to learn immediately. But you can answer "hmm", "ahah..." to her at the bkgrd once in a while so she knows u still love her.

Your journey will translate into kids 'request' for TV, iPad, iPhone games. Don't give in. Some of my frds give DAILY games time of 1 hour & when I only allow weekends 15 min, they 'scold' me. Today, my boy gets MOE Edusave scholarship every year. I get him to spend his energy on swimming, cycling, tennis, outdoors than spoil their brains. The new generation don't read & perform poorly in languages. My child love reading a lot initially science, then nowadays all the latest news he can get. He love to do Coding and his art too.

Hope your girl learn lots of stuff & explore the new world around her guided by the best mummy, who is her very 1st teacher! All the best.
 
You can leave her with a toy & go back to her. After a few tries she'll learn not to cry. If u always quickly run back to her, she knows next time cry louder. She'll then never learn. Explain to yr husband only need to cooperate & train her owise u both hv higher headaches next time. When older, if u don't give her iPad, iPhone, expensive stationery, expensive holidays, plastic surgery or let her go with her boyfrd she'll kick up fuss coz u & hubby alr conditioned in her mind. That's how our human brains & behaviour works. 1st 5 years critical to teach behaviour. Today's youth is result of easy parenting so kids hv no self-control
 
You can leave her with a toy & go back to her. After a few tries she'll learn not to cry. If u always quickly run back to her, she knows next time cry louder. She'll then never learn. Explain to yr husband only need to cooperate & train her owise u both hv higher headaches next time. When older, if u don't give her iPad, iPhone, expensive stationery, expensive holidays, plastic surgery or let her go with her boyfrd she'll kick up fuss coz u & hubby alr conditioned in her mind. That's how our human brains & behaviour works. 1st 5 years critical to teach behaviour. Today's youth is result of easy parenting so kids hv no self-control

With her tantrum going on, toys don't work for her
 
Train. It works if u persists. I did that with mine when going to childcare. Persists & persists coz he didn't want to be left there but I've gotta go work. Initially, I'll tell him I'll come back in a while going to washroom. Then he cried. I let him. But I return in 5 min. As time goes by, I lengthen to 20 & 15 min. When he started making frds, I let go completely.
 
Train. It works if u persists. I did that with mine when going to childcare. Persists & persists coz he didn't want to be left there but I've gotta go work. Initially, I'll tell him I'll come back in a while going to washroom. Then he cried. I let him. But I return in 5 min. As time goes by, I lengthen to 20 & 15 min. When he started making frds, I let go completely.

Mine past few days after I get home from work she throw tantrum cried for nearly 3hours. And she haven't started child care.
 
Same message to you - be firm. Kids can last for hours. You can do little things by putting a small drinking water for her. Then she still don't budge, you leave her alone.
 

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