Lost interest in life from TTC

origorig

Member
Infertility had made me feel that I've lost my goals and direction. I lost my interest in things and in life. I cannot stop ponding many what if we can never get to have kids. I know that overthinking doesn't help the situation better, but I cannot stop those negative thoughts.

life have been moody and dark.

does anyone feel the same and how do you walk out of this phase?
 

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have u tried IVF? i feel there may be hope if u try..
If age is not catching up for u.. perhaps go for TCM first.
 
Yes. You shouldn't give up hope if you really want a kid
Can go for IUI or IVF or even TCM
There's also fertility massage that help improve fertility also.
 
Yes I went through such thoughts too. I even quit working cause I couldn’t deal with the emotional stress.
I would suggest to be open with your family that you are struggling ttc. Ur siblings may be envying your freedom without kids and your own personal time.
Relatives will always ask, especially older ones. Try not to take it too hard.
What are you actively considering to assist your efforts to ttc? Is your hubby aware of your feelings?
For me, having a plan and executing the plan helped as I had something to look forward to. Reading up on supplements, good food habits, exercise, fertility issues and checkups, doctors, tcm, etc. know your options and move on from feeling hopeless by taking action.
Spend time with hubby and try not to think it’s only to ttc.
 
Yes, Yes and Yes. Whatever you have written down here, I can totally relate. Big Hugs to you. I had it so bad that I had to seek help from a Psychiatrist. I just cannot contain my emotions then and the thought of why I have to go through all these sh*t (i.e. all sorts of fertility treatments) while others can get preg so easily really affects me a great deal. But I’m glad that my hubby gives me a lot of support though at times I rather he keeps his mouth shut haha. I also started reading self-help books, attend meditation classes, keep my weekends occupied and I think mostly importantly, we decided to set a deadline for ourselves. Coz I felt that my life was only revolving TTC, TCM, fertility treatments and it was really getting into me and I know I needed to stop somewhere. So our plan was, if by the time we used up all the govt grants and still no kid, we will plan our life sans kid moving forward and just travel. So while I was actually working towards my travel goal, I still put in effort and a good fight and see where it brings us to. So the travel goal didn’t materialize in the end.

But what I want to share with you is that, in TTC journey, it is important not to wallow in self-pity and staying positive is important. Instead, channel your energy to see what you can do to boost up your chances, be it going for TCM, IVF etc. At the end of the day, it’s up to the one up there whether to bless us with a child. Just know that as long as you have done your best, the rest is beyond our control.

Also, if you are open to it, I recommend that you can read Ajahn Brahm book, “Opening the door of your heart”. It got me through the tough phase and helps me to see things in a different perspectives. All the best!
 
If u have not seek help from a fertility dr pls do it. Ivf is not as scary as u thought to be. If u have already done everything u could including ivf would u consider adoption?
A ttc fren send me an email when she was diagnosed with breast cancer while trying so hard for a child n she knows I am still struggling to have kids.

I would like to share her msg with u.....

There are some things I dearly want to tell you. The first message is that while dealing with infertility, I spent so much time being unhappy. Infertility is not actually the inability to create pregnancy, it is the neurotic self-doubt, the longing, pain and unhappiness that we put ourselves through. It was consuming and I think it depressed me. Please don't be unhappy. I know, I've been there, I know how gutted it feels, I know it's easier to say than to feel.
Please believe me that I now realize I had my health, I was whole and I had everything I needed to be happy. I could have put the energy toward learning new skills, or helping other people. Now, forget charity because you become the charity.
I want you to celebrate your day, every day because you are perfect. Don't invite things in to make it any less so. I wish that we had embraced infertility as an opportunity to live an awesome, different long life way to build our family. Instead of trying so hard, to not be so different. I wish we'd left the door open for possibility, instead of trying to close it so firmly on infertility because we were worried about time.

there are things you can do differently and I really hope you do. we really never talk about this much and it is so painful for me to talk about it, even with you but I hope that you will do something for the good of more women out there who may be in similar situations that we were.
I don't have a plan, I don't know if I'm allowed one, but I have to keep pressing on and that God will show me the way.
 
If u have not seek help from a fertility dr pls do it. Ivf is not as scary as u thought to be. If u have already done everything u could including ivf would u consider adoption?
A ttc fren send me an email when she was diagnosed with breast cancer while trying so hard for a child n she knows I am still struggling to have kids.

I would like to share her msg with u.....

There are some things I dearly want to tell you. The first message is that while dealing with infertility, I spent so much time being unhappy. Infertility is not actually the inability to create pregnancy, it is the neurotic self-doubt, the longing, pain and unhappiness that we put ourselves through. It was consuming and I think it depressed me. Please don't be unhappy. I know, I've been there, I know how gutted it feels, I know it's easier to say than to feel.
Please believe me that I now realize I had my health, I was whole and I had everything I needed to be happy. I could have put the energy toward learning new skills, or helping other people. Now, forget charity because you become the charity.
I want you to celebrate your day, every day because you are perfect. Don't invite things in to make it any less so. I wish that we had embraced infertility as an opportunity to live an awesome, different long life way to build our family. Instead of trying so hard, to not be so different. I wish we'd left the door open for possibility, instead of trying to close it so firmly on infertility because we were worried about time.

there are things you can do differently and I really hope you do. we really never talk about this much and it is so painful for me to talk about it, even with you but I hope that you will do something for the good of more women out there who may be in similar situations that we were.
I don't have a plan, I don't know if I'm allowed one, but I have to keep pressing on and that God will show me the way.

Hugs Bunny33. I hope your friend wins her battle with breast cancer.
 
Although I'm a man, I can understand the feeling and emotions TS went thru. Sometimes woman just couldnt get pregnant for unknown reasons. For my case, it took years before my ex conceived. Went thru all sorts of treatments with no gov funding that time, my ex just couldnt conceive. At one stage, I was very dissapointed and even thinking of adoption.
Anyway, fast forward, the lesson I have learnt, at least for myself was the process of childmaking. It plays an important part, that is "not too technical" but the mindset should shift more towards enjoyment. This could be just a myth but as far as i know, it seems working for friends that i know of.
 
Infertility had made me feel that I've lost my goals and direction. I lost my interest in things and in life. I cannot stop ponding many what if we can never get to have kids. I know that overthinking doesn't help the situation better, but I cannot stop those negative thoughts.

life have been moody and dark.

does anyone feel the same and how do you walk out of this phase?
U r not alone, I can relate to how u feel.....
 
If u have not seek help from a fertility dr pls do it. Ivf is not as scary as u thought to be. If u have already done everything u could including ivf would u consider adoption?
A ttc fren send me an email when she was diagnosed with breast cancer while trying so hard for a child n she knows I am still struggling to have kids.

I would like to share her msg with u.....

There are some things I dearly want to tell you. The first message is that while dealing with infertility, I spent so much time being unhappy. Infertility is not actually the inability to create pregnancy, it is the neurotic self-doubt, the longing, pain and unhappiness that we put ourselves through. It was consuming and I think it depressed me. Please don't be unhappy. I know, I've been there, I know how gutted it feels, I know it's easier to say than to feel.
Please believe me that I now realize I had my health, I was whole and I had everything I needed to be happy. I could have put the energy toward learning new skills, or helping other people. Now, forget charity because you become the charity.
I want you to celebrate your day, every day because you are perfect. Don't invite things in to make it any less so. I wish that we had embraced infertility as an opportunity to live an awesome, different long life way to build our family. Instead of trying so hard, to not be so different. I wish we'd left the door open for possibility, instead of trying to close it so firmly on infertility because we were worried about time.

there are things you can do differently and I really hope you do. we really never talk about this much and it is so painful for me to talk about it, even with you but I hope that you will do something for the good of more women out there who may be in similar situations that we were.
I don't have a plan, I don't know if I'm allowed one, but I have to keep pressing on and that God will show me the way.
I'm touched by your friend's msg. I hope she is doing well.
 

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