Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands

[QIANX2]

Go to maintenance court get a maintenance order. If he is working then can get him to pay

 

[14yearsgone]

Yes he is working at china but he doesn't pay CPF or declare his income

 

[sadliving]

If he is a bankrupt 'force' him back. He need to give reason for overseas to the OA. If he have a salary then he need to pay back his debt to diacharge from bankruptcy

 

[14yearsgone]

If he is a bankrupt 'force' him back. He need to give reason for overseas to the OA. If he have a salary then he need to pay back his debt to diacharge from bankruptcy

All these years he work at china, OA know that he need to work at china every months, usually every 18-21 days only, this time I dnt know he using what reason to stay longer then ever. And yes he paid $600 installment to his debt every months

 

[sadliving]

U cant get his income statement?

 

[thetruth]

Hi 14yearsgone,

I understand the pain you are going through, my husband was involve in China woman too.
Is there anyway to get his or your family for help.
At this time family support is important.

I found this via internet, hope they can help you.

You may want to seek assistance
For single-parent families seeking help
HELP Family Service Centre (Mon to Fri: 9.00am – 6.00pm)
Helpline Number 6457 5188
http://www.helpfsc.org.sg/about-help/

 

[octbb2016]

Ladies (myself inclusive), take a step back and ponder... suppose....

suppose we are such a wife to our hubby:-

1) We take care of household chores
2) We give our children good upbringing
3) We maintain our wardrobe according to our hubby's fancies (eg. what colored bras, what type of short skirts, etc etc)
4) We give in to his every sexual fantasy (swallow cum, piss play, whatever crap)
5) We dun take a single cent from him
6) We dun nag at him
7) .... you get the gist of it

Suppose we can do all that, do you think the bloody guy will fool around outside?

Come on... in life, we are all guilty of "imperfections".
We under declare our income
We over claim our tax reliefs
We 'geng' MC
We take super long leave during peak periods / school holidays
We 'siam' our in-laws
We gossip
We cursed and sweared the lady who did not throw her pad properly.
We 'hiam' our hubby for cumming to soon
everything...

and then we breakdown when our hubby cheats.....
seriously?

I dont think it true
Seriouly for my case , my hub hardly ask...i realise this & try initiate but he is not as excited .
Th

 

[yingzi32]

Hello ladies, i need some help over here. Took me a while to seek some support online coz' i can't bear to talk to my mother about this.

I am married for about 5 years, with no kids yet. Recently he came back from a work trip and i realised he "helped" one of his female colleague, L to bring back her makeup pouch and shopping items. I even saw one of the medicine he took belongs to L. And i realised he keeps messaging somebody and whenever i walked near, he will quickly change the page or pretend to do something else. I will wake up in the middle of the night and find him using his phone in the living room. His excuse was "coz i am playing game and i don't want disturb you". It got quite frequent and i got suspicious. The thing is he locks his phone and i don't have the password and he will bring his phone everywhere he goes.. even when he bathes... the phone must not leave his sight. I ever encounter another girl messaging him "good morning message" early in the morning or "good night, i'm going to sleep" sort of messages.

One day, i checked his wallet and found 2 cards from L. Those "voucher cards" that you give to your loved ones for a kiss or for a hug for that day. I was devastated. I confronted him and he told me L intends to give that to her bf and my husband asked that from her. Yes L has a bf. And she is a PRC. I couldn't go to work that day and cried the whole day at home. I am not the sort to doubt my husband but i had a feeling that i must check his wallet that day. I told him i cannot tolerate infidelity and wanted a divorce but he promised me he will change. From then on, i don't believe him and will check his laptop and bag. Recently i found a ladies' watch in his bag (not mine). And i realised his laptop has L's email account logged in. Furthermore, he was the one who helped her with her US Visa Application as well. And he did not buy me a single thing from his work trip, but instead bought himself new jackets and clothes. Maybe he bought L her stuffs as well.

And yes, he will make excuse almost everyday to leave the house during evening time to go down to clean the car, buy stuffs or exercise. You don't need 30mins to go downstairs and up to buy something right?

I know i should trust him, but he has broken my trust, our marriage vows and i realised i can't treat him like before, anymore. I hate myself for acting like a suspicious mad woman but i can't stop. Should i ask him upfront about her email account? The watch? But he will know that i'm checking on him and will try even harder to hide all these.

What should i do?

 

[lovehurts]

hi...

i duno where i can talk all these to except here...what should i do if i found out that my hub is lying to me and has been cooking up excuses to go nightclubs with his friends? I asked him y he must go nightclubs and he cooked up saying its not..he's not going there but to a pub nearby. What should i do? I saw his messages to a girl from the nightclub saying want to bring her out and go for a meal and movie etc. I feel so confused and lost now. I tried talking to him but he got angry and said i do not trust him. If there is nothing, why must lie to me?

what should i do? Can i do anything to salvage him and stop him going?

 

[gladjo]

Well... if you can forgive him n willing to do so.. try counselling or find out why ... both of which can be draining. Sorry there's no easy way out.

Last last option . .worst case scenario is get his parents involve...this is last last option as it may destroy all means of salvaging yr marriage but in some cases, save the marriage

 

[Dr. Tooth]

I really can`t believe there are so many women who intentionally steal other women`s husbands.

You no longer need to believe. It is a fact. It is a trend and some women just lovessS doing it!

 

[Hurtsalot]

I am also married for 14 years, just found out that my hubby is having an affair with a china bitch. Felt so hurtful and betrayed. He showed no signs of remorse, even willing to divorce me. I have 3 kids, feeling very upset but I can't forgive him now that I knew he had cheated on me. I only pity my 3 kids.

 

[confusemum]

I am also married for 14 years, just found out that my hubby is having an affair with a china bitch. Felt so hurtful and betrayed. He showed no signs of remorse, even willing to divorce me. I have 3 kids, feeling very upset but I can't forgive him now that I knew he had cheated on me. I only pity my 3 kids.

How old are your kids? And how long have they been together?

No point continue with your hubby if he no signs of remorse and willing to give up the family cos of the bixxx.

 

[lermie]

hi is there still an active surpport group for this thread?

its been 2mths since we r trying to workout the rs again but its just gg downhill till we're nt talking anymore.. am so lost now.. should i keep holding on or just let go..

we're only married for 1yr with a 6mth old son n bto is collecting key next yr.. i know by right can't divorce cos less thn 3yrs but anyone know or experience similar situation n able to divorce? can the judge appoint the hb to remove his name n put son in for the bto? and able to collect maintenance fee during separation?

tia..

 

[confusemum]

hi is there still an active surpport group for this thread?

its been 2mths since we r trying to workout the rs again but its just gg downhill till we're nt talking anymore.. am so lost now.. should i keep holding on or just let go..

we're only married for 1yr with a 6mth old son n bto is collecting key next yr.. i know by right can't divorce cos less thn 3yrs but anyone know or experience similar situation n able to divorce? can the judge appoint the hb to remove his name n put son in for the bto? and able to collect maintenance fee during separation?

tia..

May I know what lead to both of u don't talk at all? You have a 6mth old baby, should has a lot to talk or enjoy with? Furthermore this is 1st kid, all to both of u r new... exciting...

 

[confusemum]

I'm new here. i know that this is a motherhood forum. what mother went through may be different from what husband go through but when talking about separation or divorce we all have a similar situation.
I'm a male, 52 years old. i've been married with my wife for 25 years. we have two grown up children. my situation kind of long.
when we had our first child, i told my wife that she will care and nurture the child and i'll do all the house works. she only needs to cook. so daily i will clean the house, wash the dishes, do the laundry, vacuum and mob the floor. i also tried my best to come home to take over the caring of the children. if i have a night meeting, i would come home, clean the house and bath the children then i'll go back for work. i try to be at home most of the time. fast forward...
every morning i will wake the children and ready for school. i sent my children to school and pick them during my lunch time. i've been doing this since they were in primary 1 to their JC (18 years old). In addition, my wife works part-time about two days a week, even till today. i send her to work and pick her from work.
our problems are mainly, over late for picking her from work, forget to throw the rubbish every night, left the dishes unwash. as for the dishes and rubbish, something i was too tired after work and fell asleep. these don't happen frequently. sometime, she will wake me at 1am asking me to throw the rubbish or wash the dishes. i don't want to argue and i just wake up to wash. with regards to late in picking her from work, most of the time i was late for 10-20mins but this also not frequently happened and she will be upset. i find difficult to understand her, why she can't wait for 10mins without getting upset. when she was attending 6 mths course in the south and we live in the east, i will rush home from work to send her. it took 1hr journey because of the evening traffic. i'll pack my dinner and eat in the car while waiting for her to finish about 3hrs. it doesn't make sense if i would drive home and pick her. so, i was ok to wait for her but she was not ok if she has to wait for me for 10mins. she expect me to be on time for her that anger me but i just kept quite becasue i don't want to argue with her.

we have been sleeping in seperate room for 12 years.

I've been doing ironing for my work shirts and pants and the children uniforms weekly. i can't recall when the last time she did the ironing. all these years i've been doing the family laundry over the weekends, sometime i have to washed 3 loads of laundry and fold the clothes. 3 years ago i notice that when she needed to wash the laundry on the weekdays, she would put aside my clothes and wash the others. when i asked her why she did that, she said that my clothes colour will run. same with flding the clothes, she will folded others but put aside mine and these happened again and again, then i decided not to wash the laundry and fold the clothes all together expect do mine. about the dishes too, she started to wash during the day and will not wash my coffee cup sometime it was there for days. for the last 3 years she stop working for me. she will cooked for the children and will asked me to eat if there is left over. when i asked her why she doesn't cook for me, she said that 'oh i thought you are on diet'... during these years my daughter returned home on the weekends because she stayed in the hostel and also my son was in the army. when she cooked, she will serve my son food in his room and called me 'ooy, food is there'.
for 3 years our communication have been very limited. she doesn't cook for me at all. beginning this year, we have zero communication. till today, i've been paying 90% of the household bills, electric and water bill, all their phones, internet, family insurances, daughter's university fees etc. what she earn from her part-time job, she keep for herself. i never ask her to contribute for the household expenses. when i asked her to increase her work hours, she would said that she is tired. my son is going to university this august. i know that i may struggle to save for the school fees, so this year i took a second job over the weekends to save for my son school fees.

i'm very tired working for 7 days a week and weekends worked between 8-10hrs. i can't take it anymore. in the past, i don't want to think about the divorce because of my children but now i felt this marriage is not going anywhere. only last month i begun to think about divorce.

my children are 23 and 21
the flat is 100% paid by me and still have $100k to pay to HDB
her brother is a divorce lawyer for many years of practice

i need your advice or suggestions, pls help. what will be the outcome.

Thanks in advance for your help

You are such a nice hubby and father till I cannot believe... sorry to say that..
Furthermore as a man, who can bear with these for more than 20 years not easy and separate for more than 12 yrs as both of u sleep in diff room...

Like my hubby, he told me before all men had their need.

As for hdb, from what I knows is, whatever from your cpf, it will be return back to your cpf.
If you are going to buy over from your wife, cos it need to sell away once u divorce, u need to pay her as it is u r buyer.

 

[MayKho]

I'm new here. i know that this is a motherhood forum. what mother went through may be different from what husband go through but when talking about separation or divorce we all have a similar situation.
I'm a male, 52 years old. i've been married with my wife for 25 years. we have two grown up children. my situation kind of long.
when we had our first child, i told my wife that she will care and nurture the child and i'll do all the house works. she only needs to cook. so daily i will clean the house, wash the dishes, do the laundry, vacuum and mob the floor. i also tried my best to come home to take over the caring of the children. if i have a night meeting, i would come home, clean the house and bath the children then i'll go back for work. i try to be at home most of the time. fast forward...
every morning i will wake the children and ready for school. i sent my children to school and pick them during my lunch time. i've been doing this since they were in primary 1 to their JC (18 years old). In addition, my wife works part-time about two days a week, even till today. i send her to work and pick her from work.
our problems are mainly, over late for picking her from work, forget to throw the rubbish every night, left the dishes unwash. as for the dishes and rubbish, something i was too tired after work and fell asleep. these don't happen frequently. sometime, she will wake me at 1am asking me to throw the rubbish or wash the dishes. even when i was doing my studies part-time and very tired, when came home, rubbish and dishes were there waiting for me to wash. i don't want to argue, i just wake up to wash. with regards to late in picking her from work, most of the time i was late for 10-20mins but this also not frequently happened and she will be upset. i find difficult to understand her, why she can't wait for 10mins without getting upset. when she was attending 6 mths course in the south and we live in the east, i will rush home from work to send her. it took 1hr journey because of the evening traffic. i'll pack my dinner and eat in the car while waiting for her to finish about 3hrs. it doesn't make sense if i would drive home and pick her. so, i was ok to wait for her but she was not ok if she has to wait for me for 10mins. she expect me to be on time for her that anger me but i just kept quite becasue i don't want to argue with her.

we have been sleeping in seperate room for 12 years.

I've been doing ironing for my work shirts and pants and the children uniforms weekly. i can't recall when the last time she did the ironing. all these years i've been doing the family laundry over the weekends, sometime i have to washed 3 loads of laundry and fold the clothes. 3 years ago i notice that when she needed to wash the laundry on the weekdays, she would put aside my clothes and wash the others. when i asked her why she did that, she said that my clothes colour will run. same with flding the clothes, she will folded others but put aside mine and these happened again and again, then i decided not to wash the laundry and fold the clothes all together expect do mine. about the dishes too, she started to wash during the day and will not wash my coffee cup sometime it was there for days. for the last 3 years she stop working for me. she will cooked for the children and will asked me to eat if there is left over. when i asked her why she doesn't cook for me, she said that 'oh i thought you are on diet'... during these years my daughter returned home on the weekends because she stayed in the hostel and also my son was in the army. when she cooked, she will serve my son food in his room and called me 'ooy, food is there'.
for 3 years our communication have been very limited. she doesn't cook for me at all. beginning this year, we have zero communication. till today, i've been paying 90% of the household bills, electric and water bill, all their phones, internet, family insurances, daughter's university fees etc. what she earn from her part-time job, she keep for herself. i never ask her to contribute for the household expenses. when i asked her to increase her work hours, she would said that she is tired. my son is going to university this august. i know that i may struggle to save for the school fees, so this year i took a second job over the weekends to save for my son school fees. On top of these, I've been giving wife $600 every month.

i'm very tired working for 7 days a week and weekends worked between 8-10hrs. i can't take it anymore. in the past, i don't want to think about the divorce because of my children but now i felt this marriage is not going anywhere. only last month i begun to think about divorce.

my children are 23 and 21
the flat is 100% paid by me and still have $100k to pay to HDB
her brother is a divorce lawyer for many years of practice

i need your advice or suggestions, pls help. what will be the outcome.

Thanks in advance for your help

Give you a big thumb for doing so well.. I'm in the totally opposite situation from you.. my case I'm the only one attending to my both daughters. I need to wake up at 5.3am and prepared to send my elder daughter to wait for school bus at 6am everyday, evening need to rush to pick her up from student care by 7pm.. i also provide the logistic for her kumon tuition and swimming class, btw I did not drive. My hb never help out anything. House chores all done by me as well. In addition, I'm support almost 80% of the kid's expenses. The life is so tough and difficult because I totally don't have any personal time.. I'm salute and respect you. I'm planning to divorce him as soon as I can now. Mentally and physically tired.

 

[lermie]

May I know what lead to both of u don't talk at all? You have a 6mth old baby, should has a lot to talk or enjoy with? Furthermore this is 1st kid, all to both of u r new... exciting...

tats wat i thgt too when we first found out i was pregnant.. but his cheating got even worst.. i go work n back hm myself squeezing in the train with my big belly but he can go fetch his prostitute from their work go on date eat n hotel.. during my ML i would always tell him how tiring n bored i was from the pumping n being at hm so ask him bring me go jb for supper n massage but he just ignored me.. but he can even bring other ppl whore (married having an affair w his frens) out eat play n massage tgt with his frens..

after his cheating was exposed we did try go out more tgt as a family but didnt go well as my son was difficult to handle cos he was nt bond with us as it was my mom who is taking care of him (no choice hv to work).. thn we will just go out w/o him but the places he go n things he do will reminds me of his cheatings which hurts n angers me n will quarrel abt it.. so now he's angry at me for always bringing up abt his past cheatings but i just cant help myself thinking abt it

 

[confusemum]

tats wat i thgt too when we first found out i was pregnant.. but his cheating got even worst.. i go work n back hm myself squeezing in the train with my big belly but he can go fetch his prostitute from their work go on date eat n hotel.. during my ML i would always tell him how tiring n bored i was from the pumping n being at hm so ask him bring me go jb for supper n massage but he just ignored me.. but he can even bring other ppl whore (married having an affair w his frens) out eat play n massage tgt with his frens..

after his cheating was exposed we did try go out more tgt as a family but didnt go well as my son was difficult to handle cos he was nt bond with us as it was my mom who is taking care of him (no choice hv to work).. thn we will just go out w/o him but the places he go n things he do will reminds me of his cheatings which hurts n angers me n will quarrel abt it.. so now he's angry at me for always bringing up abt his past cheatings but i just cant help myself thinking abt it

He cheated not long ago too. He cheated u during your pregnancy, right?
Are u saying that he picked up the whore during his work?
How do u found out all these? Sorry that I asked this?

Have he changed during these period of time? Mean did he change to better?
How old are you and how old is him?

Frankly as a wife, is natural that we will think about what a hubby had done. Jus a matter are you able to forgive him. I don't believed in we can forgive and forget. A lot of ppl can forgive but not forget.
If u forget which mean u don't forgive is u give up.

 

[margret]

tats wat i thgt too when we first found out i was pregnant.. but his cheating got even worst.. i go work n back hm myself squeezing in the train with my big belly but he can go fetch his prostitute from their work go on date eat n hotel.. during my ML i would always tell him how tiring n bored i was from the pumping n being at hm so ask him bring me go jb for supper n massage but he just ignored me.. but he can even bring other ppl whore (married having an affair w his frens) out eat play n massage tgt with his frens..

after his cheating was exposed we did try go out more tgt as a family but didnt go well as my son was difficult to handle cos he was nt bond with us as it was my mom who is taking care of him (no choice hv to work).. thn we will just go out w/o him but the places he go n things he do will reminds me of his cheatings which hurts n angers me n will quarrel abt it.. so now he's angry at me for always bringing up abt his past cheatings but i just cant help myself thinking abt it

They are always like this. He think we dont have feeling and emotions, and must forget the episode immediately. They didn't think that trust need time to build up.

Anyway, for u. I feel u need to make sure whether had he stop his adulterous behaviours before u move forward.

 

[gooseberry]

https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_pe..._a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved/up-next

Sharing an insightful talk which may help u see the urgency in resolving your marital issues. Having an affair is symptomic of unresolved issues in marriages or relationships. It might not mean an end of a relationship if both parties are willing to come forth to work on the issues.

 

[Lost&hopelessmtb]

Hi all, i found out my hb has created an email acct and use it for those make friends portal like aff and also skype with many women. Previously he did and i discover and he keep promise he will change. Some of the women even daring enough to scold me back. He has betray my trust over our 7 years rs. Im been forgiving him but this time round i hate him so much and i feel like giving up. I went thru ivf to give him a bb and now im only 7 weeks pregnant. I saw those log in history and its during my first mth of pregnancy. He claims he is sorry but i know he wont change. Im so helpless and really dont know what i can do. Dared not even find my frds or family to confide in.

 

[gooseberry]

Dear Lost

Sorry to hear of yr distressing episode. IMO, a cheater remains one, for life. I'd rather let him go than to live on tenterhooks fearing tt he might cheat on me for years to come. Having said tt, filing for divorce takes a lot of courage n is a life-changing event. However, we r no longer women of yesteryears so I dun believe in being trapped in unhappy marriages.

 

[gladjo]

True..BUT easier said than done ...is always easy to tell others to jump whilst you are stand by the side walk...no offense..my sisters n friends tell me to div why stay on in the marriage despite hia numerous affairs n when i took the jump, nodody..not a soul bother to call me or offer to keep me company to court sessions..not a soul!

Think carefully..dun relive my history...thank God a total stranger took pity on me n help me all the way to divorce to final judgement.

 

[lermie]

He cheated not long ago too. He cheated u during your pregnancy, right?
Are u saying that he picked up the whore during his work?
How do u found out all these? Sorry that I asked this?

Have he changed during these period of time? Mean did he change to better?
How old are you and how old is him?

Frankly as a wife, is natural that we will think about what a hubby had done. Jus a matter are you able to forgive him. I don't believed in we can forgive and forget. A lot of ppl can forgive but not forget.
If u forget which mean u don't forgive is u give up.

actually he was cheating throughout our 4yrs rs but it got worst when i was preg.
his job is shift work and on duty for afew days kind so is very easy for him to use work to cover/ lie for him to go out. he could end work at 3am thn msg his nightclub or masseuse prostitute (whoever is free) to go hotel, next day check-out straight go work again. worst sometime is really lie to me go say go work but is go out with his frens to nightclub find their prostitutes.
they gt some guy drama so his fren betrayed him by tell me where is spare hp was. so from his hp i found out everything. intimate photos & video taken openly at nightclubs & hotel. all his chat w girls. he was enjoying his outside life while he just leave me home preg. he even spent his & mine bday at nightclubs n hotel w his prostitutes while i was crying alone at home preg w his son. i really cant forgive him for wat he has done and abandon me to go through the pregnancy alone while he out enjoying with prostitutes. but i know i still love him n for the sake of our son to grow-up in a complete family to give this rs a last chance. but i cant help myself thinking of his cheating and quarrel w him abt it, which is y i'm so lost now.

now he claims that he had stop his "playing" n no more all the nonsense. he tired to bring me out more often too, but the places we go are where he go during his cheating days, its like he's just replacing his prostitute to me. so of cos i cant help it to think abt it thn i'll get upset n angry n we'll quarrel again. he's still going out almost everyday till dawn cos he said is to boring staying home and go out with frens is to eat n kopi only. yes we quarrel abt this too cos ya i cant trust him anymore nor he is trying to gain my trust back which is also very frustrating for us. haiz..

They are always like this. He think we dont have feeling and emotions, and must forget the episode immediately. They didn't think that trust need time to build up.

Anyway, for u. I feel u need to make sure whether had he stop his adulterous behaviours before u move forward.

yes so true! he wants to save this rs but just expect me to stop thinking n saying about his past. he only knows how to say it but doesnt action it. he said it will takes times for me to heal n trust him again, but everytime i get upset he gets angry at me. haven gain my trust yet and still keeps going out. now he tired n angry of me thinking & saying abt the past that we not talking anymore only sent 1 text wishing us anniversary.

like this, how do i make sure whether had he stop his adulterous behavior?

True..BUT easier said than done ...is always easy to tell others to jump whilst you are stand by the side walk...no offense..my sisters n friends tell me to div why stay on in the marriage despite hia numerous affairs n when i took the jump, nodody..not a soul bother to call me or offer to keep me company to court sessions..not a soul!

Think carefully..dun relive my history...thank God a total stranger took pity on me n help me all the way to divorce to final judgement.

omg.. do you mind sharing ur lawyer or the good stranger? as i will be going through this alone too.

 

[Kopi lim]

tats wat i thgt too when we first found out i was pregnant.. but his cheating got even worst.. i go work n back hm myself squeezing in the train with my big belly but he can go fetch his prostitute from their work go on date eat n hotel.. during my ML i would always tell him how tiring n bored i was from the pumping n being at hm so ask him bring me go jb for supper n massage but he just ignored me.. but he can even bring other ppl whore (married having an affair w his frens) out eat play n massage tgt with his frens..

after his cheating was exposed we did try go out more tgt as a family but didnt go well as my son was difficult to handle cos he was nt bond with us as it was my mom who is taking care of him (no choice hv to work).. thn we will just go out w/o him but the places he go n things he do will reminds me of his cheatings which hurts n angers me n will quarrel abt it.. so now he's angry at me for always bringing up abt his past cheatings but i just cant help myself thinking abt it

First time I heard someone fetch prostiture from work then go eat outside? It's prostitutes or Ktv hostess or just young single gals he cheated with? Prostitutes usually stay inside hotel or apartment and they have Sex with customers, earning per hour or 1.5 hour pay.

 

[mimicoco77]

True..BUT easier said than done ...is always easy to tell others to jump whilst you are stand by the side walk...no offense..my sisters n friends tell me to div why stay on in the marriage despite hia numerous affairs n when i took the jump, nodody..not a soul bother to call me or offer to keep me company to court sessions..not a soul!

Think carefully..dun relive my history...thank God a total stranger took pity on me n help me all the way to divorce to final judgement.

Yes, similar situation here. My ex relative- sisters n brothers in laws encouraged me to D. But after that, no news fr them even when my daughter got very sick in hospital.

 

[confusemum]

First time I heard someone fetch prostiture from work then go eat outside? It's prostitutes or Ktv hostess or just young single gals he cheated with? Prostitutes usually stay inside hotel or apartment and they have Sex with customers, earning per hour or 1.5 hour pay.

Hi u seems know about how prostitutes work?
Do u mind share abit more? It is they can accept job at anytime? As u said earning per hour or 1.5hr?
I thought the customer will go off once they settled? Still has time set?

 

[confusemum]

actually he was cheating throughout our 4yrs rs but it got worst when i was preg.
his job is shift work and on duty for afew days kind so is very easy for him to use work to cover/ lie for him to go out. he could end work at 3am thn msg his nightclub or masseuse prostitute (whoever is free) to go hotel, next day check-out straight go work again. worst sometime is really lie to me go say go work but is go out with his frens to nightclub find their prostitutes.
they gt some guy drama so his fren betrayed him by tell me where is spare hp was. so from his hp i found out everything. intimate photos & video taken openly at nightclubs & hotel. all his chat w girls. he was enjoying his outside life while he just leave me home preg. he even spent his & mine bday at nightclubs n hotel w his prostitutes while i was crying alone at home preg w his son. i really cant forgive him for wat he has done and abandon me to go through the pregnancy alone while he out enjoying with prostitutes. but i know i still love him n for the sake of our son to grow-up in a complete family to give this rs a last chance. but i cant help myself thinking of his cheating and quarrel w him abt it, which is y i'm so lost now.

now he claims that he had stop his "playing" n no more all the nonsense. he tired to bring me out more often too, but the places we go are where he go during his cheating days, its like he's just replacing his prostitute to me. so of cos i cant help it to think abt it thn i'll get upset n angry n we'll quarrel again. he's still going out almost everyday till dawn cos he said is to boring staying home and go out with frens is to eat n kopi only. yes we quarrel abt this too cos ya i cant trust him anymore nor he is trying to gain my trust back which is also very frustrating for us. haiz..



yes so true! he wants to save this rs but just expect me to stop thinking n saying about his past. he only knows how to say it but doesnt action it. he said it will takes times for me to heal n trust him again, but everytime i get upset he gets angry at me. haven gain my trust yet and still keeps going out. now he tired n angry of me thinking & saying abt the past that we not talking anymore only sent 1 text wishing us anniversary.

like this, how do i make sure whether had he stop his adulterous behavior?



omg.. do you mind sharing ur lawyer or the good stranger? as i will be going through this alone too.

Hi Lermie,

I guessed u should be still quite young and ur baby is small. For me, I won't advise u to continue in such a relationship as he don't seem wan to change for u and the kid.

I can imagine how the life will be if u continue and he still continues like this.

But u need to think how are u going to settle, like where to stay? I think accommodation is the most impt for u and the baby now.

If u don't have a problem for accommodation, I suggest u should jus move out with the baby.

 

[Kopi lim]

Hi u seems know about how prostitutes work?
Do u mind share abit more? It is they can accept job at anytime? As u said earning per hour or 1.5hr?
I thought the customer will go off once they settled? Still has time set?

I won't say I know more but I had to log in to sammyboy to read the service they provide and the duration and charges etc. My hubby caught visiting pros last year so I also questioned him to find out more. That's why I question lermie to check isit really prostitutes or ktv or massage parlours girls or just outside single gals. The pros (not those legalised pros in Geylang) will usually stay in the rented condos or check in hotels to provide service. From what my hubby say, they are illegal so they don't usually run around. They cost 100 to slightly less than 200 for 1.5 hour service so if a guy brings them out, then he has to pay more. Usually they stay in the condos and wait for customers to come and then charge according to hours of service they provide. Or else they go to Budget hotels meet their clients who usually book the room for 2 hrs etc or they are staying in hotels themselves and let customers come look for them and again serve the customers And charge per hour etc. Very seldom guys bring them out to eat and shop cos they are usually illegal and the guy must pay more if bring them out few hours. So in most cases I think the guys just come for sex, pay and leave. I don't think they fetch them from work. Maybe lermie refers to masseuse or ktv hostess as prostitutes, which is not wrong also because they also provide sex service

 

[Kopi lim]

actually he was cheating throughout our 4yrs rs but it got worst when i was preg.
his job is shift work and on duty for afew days kind so is very easy for him to use work to cover/ lie for him to go out. he could end work at 3am thn msg his nightclub or masseuse prostitute (whoever is free) to go hotel, next day check-out straight go work again. worst sometime is really lie to me go say go work but is go out with his frens to nightclub find their prostitutes.
they gt some guy drama so his fren betrayed him by tell me where is spare hp was. so from his hp i found out everything. intimate photos & video taken openly at nightclubs & hotel. all his chat w girls. he was enjoying his outside life while he just leave me home preg. he even spent his & mine bday at nightclubs n hotel w his prostitutes while i was crying alone at home preg w his son. i really cant forgive him for wat he has done and abandon me to go through the pregnancy alone while he out enjoying with prostitutes. but i know i still love him n for the sake of our son to grow-up in a complete family to give this rs a last chance. but i cant help myself thinking of his cheating and quarrel w him abt it, which is y i'm so lost now.

now he claims that he had stop his "playing" n no more all the nonsense. he tired to bring me out more often too, but the places we go are where he go during his cheating days, its like he's just replacing his prostitute to me. so of cos i cant help it to think abt it thn i'll get upset n angry n we'll quarrel again. he's still going out almost everyday till dawn cos he said is to boring staying home and go out with frens is to eat n kopi only. yes we quarrel abt this too cos ya i cant trust him anymore nor he is trying to gain my trust back which is also very frustrating for us. haiz..



yes so true! he wants to save this rs but just expect me to stop thinking n saying about his past. he only knows how to say it but doesnt action it. he said it will takes times for me to heal n trust him again, but everytime i get upset he gets angry at me. haven gain my trust yet and still keeps going out. now he tired n angry of me thinking & saying abt the past that we not talking anymore only sent 1 text wishing us anniversary.

like this, how do i make sure whether had he stop his adulterous behavior?



omg.. do you mind sharing ur lawyer or the good stranger? as i will be going through this alone too.

Hi lermie,

If only you post about his cheating earlier (before you got yourself preggy), then I would have advised you to leave him and you woyldbt have to go through this cheating so many times and while preggy. If he already cheated throughout your relationship, he won't change. It is very brave of you to give him chances and wana give him a child. However. Please do not tell yourself that for the sake of the child, you stay with him. In fact, you are giving the child a dysfunctional family with a constant cheating hubby, bad example daddy and a disturbed unhappy mum to the child. I think you should plan on accommodation, living expense, child caring arrangement and a stable job for yourself first. And then when all settled, file divorce and ask for reasonable maintenance and alimony. Your love for him will fade so don't keep thinking you love him still or your child needs a complete family. A complete family is not one where the Father is not a good Father. Give your child a healthy family by planning your finances well first and then leave your cheating hubby for a more stable life.

Once a man cheats more than once, you can already assume that he will not change already, not until he reach rock bottom of his life. Do you really wana waste your time and energy waiting And guessing what he is doing outside till you are old and realised you spend too much time and energy on your broken relationship and neglected your child. He is still coming back late at night, leaving you in fear and feeling insecure, it's pretty obvious he is not a family man. Please start planning and then leave.

 

[confusemum]

I won't say I know more but I had to log in to sammyboy to read the service they provide and the duration and charges etc. My hubby caught visiting pros last year so I also questioned him to find out more. That's why I question lermie to check isit really prostitutes or ktv or massage parlours girls or just outside single gals. The pros (not those legalised pros in Geylang) will usually stay in the rented condos or check in hotels to provide service. From what my hubby say, they are illegal so they don't usually run around. They cost 100 to slightly less than 200 for 1.5 hour service so if a guy brings them out, then he has to pay more. Usually they stay in the condos and wait for customers to come and then charge according to hours of service they provide. Or else they go to Budget hotels meet their clients who usually book the room for 2 hrs etc or they are staying in hotels themselves and let customers come look for them and again serve the customers And charge per hour etc. Very seldom guys bring them out to eat and shop cos they are usually illegal and the guy must pay more if bring them out few hours. So in most cases I think the guys just come for sex, pay and leave. I don't think they fetch them from work. Maybe lermie refers to masseuse or ktv hostess as prostitutes, which is not wrong also because they also provide sex service

The reason why I asked this because recently I caught my hubby surf one of these website but jus for less than 10min according to history but I didn't questioned him why he surfed as I still wan to observe before making the relationship worse. As this is trust between couples.

I saw they indicated location, prices but I not sure is it jus send text then go immediately or must arrange in advance. I jus wan to know more on this part.

 

[Kopi lim]

The reason why I asked this because recently I caught my hubby surf one of these website but jus for less than 10min according to history but I didn't questioned him why he surfed as I still wan to observe before making the relationship worse. As this is trust between couples.

I saw they indicated location, prices but I not sure is it jus send text then go immediately or must arrange in advance. I jus wan to know more on this part.

I already guessed Your reason for wanting to know. The time of surfing doesn't indicate anything. He just need to take down the phone number and the rest is arranged by phone so you can try to see his phone. It's a very discreet and fast thing, just message and ask for girl availability and it can be easily arrranged. the websites still have girls all across singapore so that it is easy for customers to visit one near their locations. North, south, east, west.

In advance or immediately all can be arranged. If want immediately just ask for the girl whether available at that time, if not, usually the boss can arrange another girl for the guy also.

Well, I used to trust my hubby who shows to be such a nice hubby, down to earth character, responsible Father but Guess what, I was caught by surprised! If your hubby surfs such website, sorry to say. It is an indication on interest. When there is interest, sooner or later they will go. Cause the pics and service and how secretive it is plus affordable prices is definitely a huge temptation for guys. My advice for all girls. If your hubby ever surf those websites, never trust that they are only looking out of curiosity or for masterbation purpose. Once you dig, you will be surprised at all the shits they are capable of doing.

In your case, I won't advice you like how most people would. They usually say respect, talk to him and ask him nicely but don't spy etc, respect his privacy etc. I think it's only giving them chance to hide better. I rather spy and find out myself. If proven innocent then I keep quiet and feel happy for myself and then I will tell him I m uncomfy of him surfing those sites, hope he can respect me by not surfing again. If found guilty then of course, gather evidence and confront later.

 

[Kopi lim]

The reason why I asked this because recently I caught my hubby surf one of these website but jus for less than 10min according to history but I didn't questioned him why he surfed as I still wan to observe before making the relationship worse. As this is trust between couples.

I saw they indicated location, prices but I not sure is it jus send text then go immediately or must arrange in advance. I jus wan to know more on this part.

Oh yah forgot to add. They can provide Sex in places you can never imagine! YMCA, RELC, 4 star hotels and private condos. Not just Geylang or Balestier, even hdb flats, massage parlours, ktvs, discos etc!

 

[lermie]

hi confusemum,
im going to be 30.. accommodation not an issue as all along staying at my family place. and i do hv a stable job but just avg ofc pay. actually i've been thinking to end this rs but dont hv enough courage to do it and dont know how to move forward from it like the divorce procedure n lawyers n the fees as i am dealing this alone. i've no frens to confront nor wish to trouble my own family members. my son is already a handful for them, yes he's very naughty haha.

which is y im here to see if there's any support group. and im so grateful for all advise and reply. giving me more courage to do this..

hi kopi lim,
sorry yes my prostitutes refers to masseuses & nightclub hostess as to me as long as there's money transaction and sex is prostitution. and he has all of them so i just refer them as prostitutes. he still can defend her she's a "singer" not prostitute. and yes he also have flings with local girls from social apps and those working as "PR" in thai clubs.

like you i also used to trust so much him.. i did suspect somethings was wrong but trusted he wont hv cheated so much or gone tat far n i do not hv any evidence too. unfortunately i only hv the evidence 2mths ago and was in a real shock tat he actually could cheated so much. it was so shocking to me at the point of time even looking at the hp my mind still cant register it.

thank u for your advise kopi lim.. hope tat i hv enough courage to end the rs and go through the divorce.

however we're married for less thn 3yrs.. anyone know or experience similar situation n still able to divorce? can the judge appoint the hb to remove his name n put son in for the bto? and able to collect maintenance fee during separation?

 

[confusemum]

hi confusemum,
im going to be 30.. accommodation not an issue as all along staying at my family place. and i do hv a stable job but just avg ofc pay. actually i've been thinking to end this rs but dont hv enough courage to do it and dont know how to move forward from it like the divorce procedure n lawyers n the fees as i am dealing this alone. i've no frens to confront nor wish to trouble my own family members. my son is already a handful for them, yes he's very naughty haha.

which is y im here to see if there's any support group. and im so grateful for all advise and reply. giving me more courage to do this..

hi kopi lim,
sorry yes my prostitutes refers to masseuses & nightclub hostess as to me as long as there's money transaction and sex is prostitution. and he has all of them so i just refer them as prostitutes. he still can defend her she's a "singer" not prostitute. and yes he also have flings with local girls from social apps and those working as "PR" in thai clubs.

like you i also used to trust so much him.. i did suspect somethings was wrong but trusted he wont hv cheated so much or gone tat far n i do not hv any evidence too. unfortunately i only hv the evidence 2mths ago and was in a real shock tat he actually could cheated so much. it was so shocking to me at the point of time even looking at the hp my mind still cant register it.

thank u for your advise kopi lim.. hope tat i hv enough courage to end the rs and go through the divorce.

however we're married for less thn 3yrs.. anyone know or experience similar situation n still able to divorce? can the judge appoint the hb to remove his name n put son in for the bto? and able to collect maintenance fee during separation?

I think u can ask for maintenance fee but might not a lot, also depends on ur hubby's salary.

As u said u stay with your parents. So both of u had separated? If that is the case, I think ur hubby will eat more now hehe

 

[lermie]

I think u can ask for maintenance fee but might not a lot, also depends on ur hubby's salary.

As u said u stay with your parents. So both of u had separated? If that is the case, I think ur hubby will eat more now hehe

ya it really make me insecure and paranoid like crazy.. separated or not doesnt really matters as he's out almost everyday..

 

[confusemum]

ya it really make me insecure and paranoid like crazy.. separated or not doesnt really matters as he's out almost everyday..

I caught my hubby surf prostituties website about 2 weeks ago as it was at the history and pc is shared by both of us.
I didn't confront him cos I don't wan to has unnecessary argument and this lead to trust as well.
Till now, I didn't notice any things wrong about him and that was the first time I caught him surf him.
Certain things we cannot jump to assumption and assume he went by see he surf this website but of course we will think did he go.
We gain nothing by confront immediately and this might lead to unhappiness within the family and this is soemthing I don't wan to destroy yet

I am still observe and anyone has any good and reliable PI to recom as I tot of getting one if I catch 2nd. Also anyone know about the costs?

 

[Devasted]

Hi all,

After months of monitoring and hoping for the possibilities of reconcile, i have finally come to a conclusion to end my 11 years of marriage, 17 years of relationship with him. I have been so stupid to keep pinning hopes on empty impossible hopes. It has been so torturing so torturing that i can no longer bear and i think i am suffering from slight depression. I know i have to be strong and calm during this period and the situation will get worst once the divorce battle starts.....but it's really easier said than done.......but having to manage so many times of sad-backs is really not easy and healthy for our mental, it really really time to let go!
I agree what some of you have mentioned above , we have no one to really lean or get support on, except ourselves. No matter what we have to really try our very best to be as strong and tough for the seek of the kids and our own lives.

Anyway, i am currently trying to get more evidence to pin my unfaithful husband down although i already have the 1st set of evidence. I do not know how i am going to get the next chance as the current situation is getting worse.

Would greatly appreciate if all of you could PM me your lawyers if you are currently undergoing a divorce or have recommendations so that i can consolidate and call to enquire the popular ones myself. Need to start preparing and action once i get the next evidence.

Thank you so much in advance.

 

[natsunatsu]

Hi I'm new here

I am also facing this issue. I do not know what to do. So many times I have quarreled with my HB over this woman and moreover this is a married woman with kids. My hb keep saying there is nothing between him and the woman but I found a photo taken of them so close. That woman even have the cheek to email Wacoal promotion to him and said can go fitting and ask my hb to go with her calling him dear. such a sickening woman.

 

[confusemum]

Hi I'm new here

I am also facing this issue. I do not know what to do. So many times I have quarreled with my HB over this woman and moreover this is a married woman with kids. My hb keep saying there is nothing between him and the woman but I found a photo taken of them so close. That woman even have the cheek to email Wacoal promotion to him and said can go fitting and ask my hb to go with her calling him dear. such a sickening woman.

Hi, did u question ur hubby since there is nothing why she sent him this email?

U must be homemaker, right?

 

[natsunatsu]

Hi, did u question ur hubby since there is nothing why she sent him this email?

U must be homemaker, right?

Hi confusemum,
I'm not a homemaker. I didn't inform my hb abt this email on this Wacoal thingy. there are some things which no nd to divulge so much to them abt what you found out.
in the end, they will defend themselves and said nothing btw them. Several times this woman name appear in a lot of my hb stuff. I cried several times alone. even when I confront him, he said nothing between them.
I don't even know what I shud do anymore despite so many confrontations. and the worse thing is this woman stay so near to my house.

 

[Devasted]

Hi confusemum,
I'm not a homemaker. I didn't inform my hb abt this email on this Wacoal thingy. there are some things which no nd to divulge so much to them abt what you found out.
in the end, they will defend themselves and said nothing btw them. Several times this woman name appear in a lot of my hb stuff. I cried several times alone. even when I confront him, he said nothing between them.
I don't even know what I shud do anymore despite so many confrontations. and the worse thing is this woman stay so near to my house.

Yes, i agree with you. Whatever you find just keep mum and continue to monitor and find evidence before you do a show-hand. No point telling them for every little things you know now as this will alert them to be more careful.
If she is staying so near, find a chance to bump into her and stare hard at her. Scare her a little...(hahha) Or if you have any chance to know that your HB will be meeting her, either you hide and take pictures as evidence secretly, keep quiet and monitor a few more rounds to understand their meet up routine or pretend and go bump into them and make them shock and explain on the spot. Else, hire PI would be the best if you can really confirm there is something between them. This way you can use this as an evidence. May i ask if you have kids?

 

[natsunatsu]

Yes, i agree with you. Whatever you find just keep mum and continue to monitor and find evidence before you do a show-hand. No point telling them for every little things you know now as this will alert them to be more careful.
If she is staying so near, find a chance to bump into her and stare hard at her. Scare her a little...(hahha) Or if you have any chance to know that your HB will be meeting her, either you hide and take pictures as evidence secretly, keep quiet and monitor a few more rounds to understand their meet up routine or pretend and go bump into them and make them shock and explain on the spot. Else, hire PI would be the best if you can really confirm there is something between them. This way you can use this as an evidence. May i ask if you have kids?

Hi i dont have kids. Hoping to have 1 but until now dont have. Whenever i see this woman i will ignore and go away while hb talk to her even though hb tell me nothing betw them. I think i shud adopt yr method and scare her away. I must examine her from top to bottom then she will get uncomfortable. We are all looking for some support in this group. Glad to have found this group.

 

[Kopi lim]

Hi all,

After months of monitoring and hoping for the possibilities of reconcile, i have finally come to a conclusion to end my 11 years of marriage, 17 years of relationship with him. I have been so stupid to keep pinning hopes on empty impossible hopes. It has been so torturing so torturing that i can no longer bear and i think i am suffering from slight depression. I know i have to be strong and calm during this period and the situation will get worst once the divorce battle starts.....but it's really easier said than done.......but having to manage so many times of sad-backs is really not easy and healthy for our mental, it really really time to let go!
I agree what some of you have mentioned above , we have no one to really lean or get support on, except ourselves. No matter what we have to really try our very best to be as strong and tough for the seek of the kids and our own lives.

Anyway, i am currently trying to get more evidence to pin my unfaithful husband down although i already have the 1st set of evidence. I do not know how i am going to get the next chance as the current situation is getting worse.

Would greatly appreciate if all of you could PM me your lawyers if you are currently undergoing a divorce or have recommendations so that i can consolidate and call to enquire the popular ones myself. Need to start preparing and action once i get the next evidence.

Thank you so much in advance.

What kind of wrong things your hubby did that made you decide on divorce? You said you are pinning hopes to reconcile at first, so what happens before You finally decide to divorce?

 

[garlin]

Hi yoko,

this is my long story,

my hb has an affair also.n i oni found out a couple of months ago.

beginning this yr, my hb n i hve very terrible quarrels cos he said tt he does not have much feelings for mi and after those quarrels, all feelings for mi gone,n we dun talk to each other anymore and it seems tt D is the only option during that time.

after tt,i managed to get him to go for counselling,but after 2 sessions,he felt tt it is better that we D.so the counselling failed.then i managed to get him to attend a marriage course.After that things improved,cos we starting to talk and he told mi tt he is trying for the marriage.

actually during the period when we are on bad terms,i already suspected that he has another woman, he has a brand new belt, found some sms in his hp,he went out downstairs to buy kopi everynight n oni return home one hr plus later, then one day found a woman's photo in his hp..all these yrs with him,he does not even have a single photo on mi in his hp..but after tt he deleted the photo..n when i asked if he has another woman,he denied.

the woman is his colleague..n someone i knew who is closed to him but i never met. all these yrs,he told mi tt he just treat her as a xiao mei mei..but things like tt happen..
all these while i realli believed and trusted him. until he went on a biz trip a couple of mths ago.i feel so stupid n naive.i really believed tt he went on biz trip.then i found out tt he went actually went on a trip with her.
i was devastated and heartbroken. he cant sleep in the same room with me, cant go overseas with mi,but he can go with the woman and sleep with her in the same room. he cant hug mi,hold my hands n kiss mi..but he can do tt to the woman..he can treat the woman so nice..talk to her everyday, go movies with her,buy small gifts for her but he cant treat mi nice..reason beingbeing cos he has no feelings for mi..but has feelings for her..

he claimed tt there is no sex bet them..but who will believe right.
he claimed tt it just happened like tt..which i differ..n i cant accept..how can he start the affair so fast..tt is one two mths later after our quarrels..n how can he not control himself.
i met the woman..n both him and her told mi tt they have broken up..the woman initiated it..cos during the trip, she saw how much he cares for the family..keep buying things for his mum, sis, nieces n of cos his children.n they oso have small small quarrels..

he is now back in the family.now his priority is the children.i hve 2 young children, one is 2 and another one is 1.frankly i dunno what he wants.but he is not making effort to make it work.previously we tried going out,watching movies and having dinners..but he find tt all these does not help in getting back the feelings at all.

he noes he has to make effort,but he just cant initiate to do things..he find it very difficult,n no matter how he force himself..he still cant lor..
he appreciate what i have done for him,the kids and the family..n said he can adjust n treat mi as good fren but cant treat mi as wife..n we cant go back to the past..at least tt's how he feels now..but do not know if feelings will come back in the future or not.

well..i oso dunno to leave or stay.it is very stress and tormenting cos i cant seems to make the right decisions. it seems tt every decision i made, will hve an effect.the last time tt i wan to hurt is both my kids..

by staying,they have both the parents..but is this type of lifestyle good for them, seeing parents not loving,sleeping in separate rooms..n who noes,daddy may hve another woman again.
but staying like this,looking at this man everyday,i feel very miserable.i wan to get out cos i'm miserable but i may also be miserable when i already D..cos i noe tt i still love him..i still hope tt our marriage can be saved..but it takes two hands to clap..it seems tt i'm the one clapping oni.

frankly,the future is bleak.i do not know to leave or stay..if he is repenting n wanted to work on the marriage..maybe things will not be so bad.

my sil,my mil, my mum..told mi..feelings will come back..ask mi to give him more time..n wait..

i'm the one waiting and making effort.i'm very very tired emotionally,physically....i dunno if by waiting will he realli hve feelings back for mi or not..haiz

talk to him..no use..he will just tell mi,stay like this n remain as frens n see if feelings can come back or not.

to mi..he is waiting for feelings to fall from the sky..tt is not possible lor..

when i first discover the affair..i feel like dying with my kids..cos i cant bear to leave them alone in the world, while i die..
i noe is a coward way..but the pain is too much to bear n i really trusted him alot..i trust him even more than i trust my parents..

n i cant face the kids..they are so young..i feel tt i hve let them down..i bring them to this world to suffer,bring them to a uncomplete family.
tt's y i feel tt dying is a better solution

u been thru such thing? how u survive?

Hi , saw ur post and I can relate so much to it.
How r u now? Can share? Or pm? Or text? I need support right nowz in a total mess.

 

[poco]

hi confusemum,
im going to be 30.. accommodation not an issue as all along staying at my family place. and i do hv a stable job but just avg ofc pay. actually i've been thinking to end this rs but dont hv enough courage to do it and dont know how to move forward from it like the divorce procedure n lawyers n the fees as i am dealing this alone. i've no frens to confront nor wish to trouble my own family members. my son is already a handful for them, yes he's very naughty haha.

which is y im here to see if there's any support group. and im so grateful for all advise and reply. giving me more courage to do this..

hi kopi lim,
sorry yes my prostitutes refers to masseuses & nightclub hostess as to me as long as there's money transaction and sex is prostitution. and he has all of them so i just refer them as prostitutes. he still can defend her she's a "singer" not prostitute. and yes he also have flings with local girls from social apps and those working as "PR" in thai clubs.

like you i also used to trust so much him.. i did suspect somethings was wrong but trusted he wont hv cheated so much or gone tat far n i do not hv any evidence too. unfortunately i only hv the evidence 2mths ago and was in a real shock tat he actually could cheated so much. it was so shocking to me at the point of time even looking at the hp my mind still cant register it.

thank u for your advise kopi lim.. hope tat i hv enough courage to end the rs and go through the divorce.

however we're married for less thn 3yrs.. anyone know or experience similar situation n still able to divorce? can the judge appoint the hb to remove his name n put son in for the bto? and able to collect maintenance fee during separation?

Hi Lermie, I have friends who divorced and able to get the hdb flat as long as the other partner agreed and you have to return his CPF if any. Even if you don’t get the hdb flat you can apply with your child for a new hdb flat which I think is better as he will not know where your new house is.

If a relationship only bring sorrows or hurt is better to end it and start a new life yourself.
Don’t rely on men to give you happiness.
Is not easy but think far, do you want to live such a life for next 20, 30, 40yrs ..with him? When you 50 years old then regret?
Women can tolerate or forgive men any things except unfaithful and lie.
What kind of life do you want in future?
Either you continue tolerate it or leave it and start a new life.
You are lucky your family can help you take care your baby and give you shelter.

 

[Kopi lim]

Hi Lermie, I have friends who divorced and able to get the hdb flat as long as the other partner agreed and you have to return his CPF if any. Even if you don’t get the hdb flat you can apply with your child for a new hdb flat which I think is better as he will not know where your new house is.

If a relationship only bring sorrows or hurt is better to end it and start a new life yourself.
Don’t rely on men to give you happiness.
Is not easy but think far, do you want to live such a life for next 20, 30, 40yrs ..with him? When you 50 years old then regret?
Women can tolerate or forgive men any things except unfaithful and lie.
What kind of life do you want in future?
Either you continue tolerate it or leave it and start a new life.
You are lucky your family can help you take care your baby and give you shelter.

Yes I also agree with what poco said.

The description doesn't sound like he is even remorseful hence don't expect him to change too. If you don't want to go through lies and cheating over and over again, then try to shorten your misery. It's hard to start the divorce because you are somewhat used to him and attached to him and there's a child. However, I would only advice on no divorce only if the person is repentent and has a chance of not repeating which also means the child can have a healthier family. However, your husband is clearcut not going to provide security for you and your child. Leaving him is actually healthier for you and your kid. Am so Glad your family helps to look after your boy and you are living with them. Not much difference to your current life if you think through carefully, in fact, few years later, your life should be better.

 

[garlin]

Hi all,

After months of monitoring and hoping for the possibilities of reconcile, i have finally come to a conclusion to end my 11 years of marriage, 17 years of relationship with him. I have been so stupid to keep pinning hopes on empty impossible hopes. It has been so torturing so torturing that i can no longer bear and i think i am suffering from slight depression. I know i have to be strong and calm during this period and the situation will get worst once the divorce battle starts.....but it's really easier said than done.......but having to manage so many times of sad-backs is really not easy and healthy for our mental, it really really time to let go!
I agree what some of you have mentioned above , we have no one to really lean or get support on, except ourselves. No matter what we have to really try our very best to be as strong and tough for the seek of the kids and our own lives.

Anyway, i am currently trying to get more evidence to pin my unfaithful husband down although i already have the 1st set of evidence. I do not know how i am going to get the next chance as the current situation is getting worse.

Would greatly appreciate if all of you could PM me your lawyers if you are currently undergoing a divorce or have recommendations so that i can consolidate and call to enquire the popular ones myself. Need to start preparing and action once i get the next evidence.

Thank you so much in advance.

Care to share what to prepare? Have u spoken to a lawyer? If yes, issit good?

I'm oso pondering and prob ending my 18yrs of r/shop and 10 yrs of marriage...
it's tough and heart pain staking. How can once a nice guy and family man be a perpetual liar? And toill tdy, he's still lying and I see no remorse in him

 

[Devasted]

Hi Lermie, I have friends who divorced and able to get the hdb flat as long as the other partner agreed and you have to return his CPF if any. Even if you don’t get the hdb flat you can apply with your child for a new hdb flat which I think is better as he will not know where your new house is.

If a relationship only bring sorrows or hurt is better to end it and start a new life yourself.
Don’t rely on men to give you happiness.
Is not easy but think far, do you want to live such a life for next 20, 30, 40yrs ..with him? When you 50 years old then regret?
Women can tolerate or forgive men any things except unfaithful and lie.
What kind of life do you want in future?
Either you continue tolerate it or leave it and start a new life.
You are lucky your family can help you take care your baby and give you shelter.

I strongly agree with Pocop.
After any fights or confrontations, honestly, the trust is GONE!

What kind of wrong things your hubby did that made you decide on divorce? You said you are pinning hopes to reconcile at first, so what happens before You finally decide to divorce?

Well, when 1 1st found out the truth with evidence and threw at his face, he confessed and said that everything was over etc etc. Took his words for it on surface but can't get over the whole issue. But of cos i was hoping that what he said was the truth and it;s totally over between them and i should just forgive him as i really love him a lot. But the treatment i get after that was not like any husbands who wants to salvage the marriage. So i continued to monitor his behavior and lies were told to me everyday regardless how small an issue or daily activity it was. There's a limit to everyone's tolerance, especially for me, i prefer to find out the truth if i was over thinking and suspicious or it's the truth that they are still together. When i found out more about things i could never imagine he is such a person and can't believe the 360 degrees change in him, i didn't realized all these while even before i get the 2nd evidence. I just went so blank in mind for days, couldn't focus on work, kids and everything. And once you get the 2nd evidence that it just proofs to me that all my woman's instincts were right, you just felt like your brain is dead!
A lot of things happened but in the end i asked myself, why should i let myself suffer quietly and he's leading a happy carefree life outside but faking his emotions when with us? What's the point, it's so suffering for both of us, it is not healthy for me as i feel i'm like going insane. When trust is gone, it's really difficult to gain back unless both are willing. With so many questions in your head and the answers are so uncertainty, why think?
Till now he does not know i found out and knew SO MANY things.....
After months of sufferings, i recently, finally, decided to GET RID OF HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL else when the 1st evidence validity is over, i have to start all over again to get it and it's just a waste of time and money and emotions torture.
My advise to the wives out here, monitor and get evidence quietly. Play along with them and be smart and alert . Think before you confront if necessary else, SHOW HAND!

All the best to all of us here.