What's wrong with having Daughter/s?

M

mummy of 2gals

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I am juz venting my frustration here. I have a 2 yr old gal and expecting my 2nd gal. I love them very much and always wanted 2 daughters and i believe bbies are great gift from God. But i find it very annoying when pp find out that i am going to have "another" gal, they give me "pity u", "inferior" etc look. and they like to tell me "nvrmind can try again for a boy". but i did not even say i want a boy!

I cannot understand why pp still think that boys are more superior then gals? and i find it annoying that they are "looking" down on my gals. I feel frustrated that my gals are being "discriminated"
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Mummy of 2 girls.. I'm expecting my 1st baby girl
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And I'm happy too.. Was hoping for a baby girl (although hubby wants a little boy to play with ;P) and really glad that mine is one..

It's the traditional thinking that boys will look after the parents and in the past only males go out to work and females don't.. But society has changed so much especially after WW2 and most females work too anyway..

Just ignore them.. Our children are precious to us regardless of gender and every child is a gift from God
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..

Girls will always be closer to their mummies
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Enjoy your little girls
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mummy of 2 gals: I also have a 2 yr old gal and will deliver my 2nd gal in Oct. I'm completely ok with having gals but my mil and mom also keep thinking/ hoping it'll turn out to be a boy eventually.. I dun really care loh.. cos frankly I believe that in this day and age, boys, one grown up will eventually become another woman's husband and many men I see these days are not as close to their own moms as married daughters are. I do think it is a blessing to have gals. Not that it's a curse to have boys though.
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I love my first gal so much I know I will not love my 2nd gal any less.
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And my hb is also completely happy to have 2 gals.
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mummies:
its terrible isnt it .... to have people (family for that matter) who feel this way.

fushiastar:
true... but thats in the past. now, maybe you should just do a poll and find out how many wives here earn more than their husbands.

kris:
its so irritating to hear comments like tat especially when they already know that its a girl you are expecting. perhaps you should just joking say... "oh... in that case, baby will bear my sir name if she is a girl loh... since you are dont like girls".
 
Actually having girls nowadays is better than having boys. There are many women who are successful professionals. The MD of IBM Singapore is a woman. There are many female doctors, lawyers and engineers. This plus the fact that girls are usually closer to their mothers, and they are great fun to dress ! All those beautiful dresses that you can buy for them !

When I was carrying my older girl, I also get the sympathetic look, and the "girl also good lah" remark. Why "also good" ? Of course it is good !

When I was carrying my son, people will say "you must be so happy now". I got more angry about this, because I find that it is so unfair for my daughter. Did they mean I wasn't very happy when I had my daughter ? I love both my children, whether girl or boy !
 
Hi,

yes, i love my elder gal alot, for the very basic fact that she is my child! i m sure i will love my 2nd gal as much!

i hv been feeling very annoyed with comments since my first gal and now that i m expecting my 2nd gal, i get the comments worst n more often!! so i feel so frustrated i decided to start a thread here to vent my anger hehe.

how do u gals reply to not so nice comments? alot of times i feel lost at what to say, coz they may think i m trying to console myself! so usually i hear so much, but all bottled up loh.

my hb friend even "offered" his advise how to get a boy for our nx child!! i was pissed, coz i din tell him we want a boy! n his advise seem to tell me this preg is a mistake coz its not a boy
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haa tamarind, i got that comments too "girl also good mah" for my 1st preg but they quickly add "mayb 2nd one will b boy"! are they trying to console me? n i fully understand wat u meant in ur last paragraph! like u were not happy w ur girl?

kris, my pil are also those who prefer boy, they think if its a gal, no need to cel full month!! How sad!!! for my own mum, at the very first second when my gal told her mummy tummy got meimei, she looked "disappt" n commented "huh same gender ah (as my 1st gal)" but she quickly change her tone n start saying how good is it to hv 2 gals..haha. i know my mum is not the unfair kind, i think at first instance she juz tot if hv mixture will be good. coz she too understand that daughters are closer to her then my bro is... hehe my bro "run away" with his wife liao.

so nice to hv this forum to let me vent my frustration. i am definitely happy with my 2 gals, juz that i find alot of pp so insensitive n unkind to my little gals...they make them seem like 2nd class citizen lor.
 
My mom is the one that prefers boys.. Thankfully my in laws prefer girls- they have 2 sons and wanted a daughter.. When we told my mom we are having a girl, also got the "first child girl never mind, next one try for a boy".. sighz..

Krazy, yup it is
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And I earn more than my hubby .. haha..
 
hi mummy of 2 gals
I know what you mean cos I was the second daughter of 2 gals of my mom who later gave birth to my younger son...after much contemplation to hv the 'courage' to try again. She told us pple were cursing at her tummy that it'd be another girl 3rd X. When I was born, my granny came and said "Sigh Another girl ah..."

All this disappointment happened because for 4 generations, my dad's side had only a single boy. Today, my bro is another only son and his future wife will be pressurised to hv a son to carry down the famly name.

I know I'm facing the same in the future cos my hb is an only son. But I always remind him during our TTCs, if we don't get one, it's because of your chromosomes and what you eat, your lifestyle, etc. What you give me, I take. My job is to bear you offspring. Period.

Similarly, I'll tell my PILs off if they dare make a comment like that to me. "Aiya, it's all due to your side's female genes stronger mah. Look at daddy's (my hb's dad) family with 9 daughters and only 3 sons? what to do..."

Yes, learn to sunb them back. I don't mean to teach u to be defensive for no crime you've committed. But it's important to let them know you know your biology and don't mark around with snipe comments. Don't get upset because the more upset you are, the more people think you truly yearn for a boy!

Alternatively, if your PILs got not much assets to pass down generations, like mine, you can sarcastically say, "It's ok lah. Not that there's any wealth to inherit if you bear them a son".

The final word is: when u hv 2 girls, make sure you and your daughters don't boss around, overpower or henpeck your hb because when you do that, he becomes a laughing stock of his peers. Continue to make him a figure of respect for your girls, as "macho" as possible... I've colleagues who hv 2 daughter became so gentle and timid overtime. They were frequently teased by other male comrades for having daughters again and became withdrawn and embarrassed to be taking 2 girls out in dresses! You see, boys will be boys. They feel the UMPHHH when they could hold the little hand of a toddler in shorts in the public. Such social values are define by our ancestors and still exists in today's Asian society.
 
Hi mummy of 2gals

Congrat on your coming baby.

Girls or boys it doesn't matter as long as they are healthy. Also they are gifts from God. You need not bother about what other think or say. It is their opinion. As long as you and your hubby are happy with the gifts from God.

Every time I attend mass, I love to see this couple with 4 daughters. The youngest is the lovely and very cute. The one of the elder girl will always carry the youngest to the alter for the blessing of children. They always give way to the youngest.

Just be thankful. There are a lot of ladies dying to have a baby whether boy or girl. Here you are, you have a baby and another on the way.
 
hohoho... I also kanna the "next one will be boy" comment from my FIL... BTH... and you know what?? when I was preg, hb's grandma talk to me and say will be a boy... when I told her it's a girl, she say no lah, it's boy (?!?)... then I say doctor say it's a girl already... she still can tell me "I smarter or doctor smarter?"... *pengz* of cos doctor smarter lah!! and if happen to see her during family gathering, she will sayang my gal and say "next year you will have a brother..." anyway, I just brush their comments aside lor... since we all know older generation already pref boy... wat to do??
 
Sigh.. i also kena the same fate as you all. Just gave birth to my girl in July. remembered when i was preggie, MIL alreadie keep asking whether boy or girl. & i told her few times its a baby girl.. there was once that i even tell her direct that i prefer girls... & she replied, gd to have a boy & a girl.

Oh well, so that time i already know that she is those traditional type, die die want a grandson one, & i guess more so since my hubby is their only child. But then thought by telling her so many times b4 i gave birth, that bb is a girl, she more or less accept the fact liao. Who knows on the day i pop, hubby called her, she ask whether boy or girl again! was pretty mad at her lor.. regardless boy or girl also their 1st grandchild what.. does it really matter abt the sex of the bb?

Anyway, till now, FIL never carry her b4 & MIL only carry her a few times.. less than 5. Anyway, i also don't care, if they don't love her, its ok with me. Hubby & myself will provide all the love she needs.

Then now, ppl are telling me 2nd one try for a boy. Alamak, as if i can control whether will be a boy or girl... & in the 1st place, i never say want a 2nd one mah. :p

either case, i tell hubby, even if 2nd one really a boy, i wont allow my in-laws to carry him since they never want to carry my girl mah. & always give stupid excuses they don't know how to handle small baby. So i take it that even if its a bb boy, they also wont know how to handle... hahahah :p
 
Hi ladies

no matter you give birth to gal or guy, pple sure got something to say one lah, i think most important is that you all get the chance to enjoy "Tian lun zi le" to have chance to enjoy the pregnancy and give birth lor, to learn with your children, enjoy the growing with them

Sorry ha if i say anything wrong, is jus my thinking only hor, don get offended
 
Hi mommies,

I am expecting my second child. Like you all, my first one is a girl. Going for detailed scan next week but had pressures from many people already. When they know that my first one is a girl, they will give 'encouraging remarks' that how pointed my tummy is etcc..... must be a boy this time blar blar blar..... Even my own grandma doesn't spare me and starts to teach my girl to say 'didi'...... *faint*.

Well, i must say i enjoy spending time with my girl and she brought a lot of joy to both my parents and PIL. Just last night, she was dancing with my FIL and make all of us laugh. And i want to thank God for giving me a precious daughter! Who says only son are being cherished?

I am sure all the mommies in this thread love their children as much as i love my daughter. Hee Hee, in fact i was wondering how to separate my love for the coming newborn! Anyway just let us enjoy our time with our precious children, be it boy or girl!
 
hi mummies,
When my mum sicks,i am the one who accompanies her to c doc. my sil & bro dun really care for her.

After all, daughter still closer to the mother compared to DIL.

My grandma has 11daughters & one son.The only son she has, went overseas for studies & nvr come back since.She is well taken care by the daughters instead.

Thou I myself has a boy, i wish to hv a girl few yrs later. At least, when my future dil bullies next time,i've a daughter to be always wf me & listen to my grumbles.
 
hi all,

I am surprised to see that so many mummies out there "suffer" the same fate as me. coz b4 i was even preg, i nvr tot that in this modern society, there'r many pp who still deem boy as superior. even alot of my friends who are my age already "plan" for me to try for a boy...*sigh*.. so its not abt older generation.

my GMIL too!! when we brought our 1st gal to visit her, she keep asking if she is gal or boy, if we ans gal, she will ask again..quite funny actually. until my hb say its "boy" then she stop asking! n she told me i must continue to have more boys, coz sons are ours, whereas daus are other's. she meant after dau marry,she belong to other pp's... i was not angry with her, coz i tot she very funny, me n my hb had a good laugh..also she abit senile liao

yuki, yes, b4 i knew the gender of my 2nd bb, alot of pp give "encouraging remarks" that it mayb a boy.aiyo so funny! i also had pp teaching my gal that muumy is hving a didi! but somehow my gal always say meimei, b4 we confirm the gender. n after confirming, she nvr fail to tell pp mummy has meimei if being asked.

though i prefer daughters, i must admit that hving a mixture of gals n boys will be good if there'r more then 3 kids in the fam. but i always tell hb, if we have 3rd kid, i'll still be very happy if its a gal... children r really God's gift.
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i guess some pp juz forget that its already a great blessing to hv children! i have a collegue who always wanted a boy, she get jealous of her sil n pp close to her who has sons. she has a gal n now 3mth preg with 2nd...once she found out abt her 2nd preg, she told everyone she think its a boy (happened for her 1st preg too). and worst she was boosting how easy it is for her to get preg n that she'll get preg when she wants to.. i felt she fail to count her blessings, coz there'r indeed alot of couples who dont get preg easily.
 
mummy of 2gals

Actually i think most average pp just thot having a boy & gal is a good balance. For those with 2 boys also face the same fate as you. They get questions like, are you going to try for a girl? So, i don't think it's so much as being zhong nan qing nv, but more of getting children of both sexes.

But of course, the old folks will always remain the same coz of their trad thinking. So we can't really do anything abt it.
 
Yeah...pple tend to discriminate against girls. When I was pregnant and it was discovered I was carrying a boy, people came and congratulate me, saying I was lucky. These pple are not even my relatives! I find it silly cos it didn't matter to me. In fact, I was hoping my baby wld be a girl and my gynae cld see the disappointment when her colleague scanned that it's a boy.
My mum always tell me the next kid I have MUST be a girl. To me, doesn't matter lah..
Let people say what they want...they are just narrow minded.
 
Hi Mummies,

All of us here are really blessed to have babies. I think we should just be happy bringing up our babies up to a be good pple. This is OUR LIFE! not others', dun let such things damp our spirits and sometime we just have to filter out comments.

It is really sad that till this age, we are still bounded in such old thinking. But it has been brought down many generations, so we can't really do anything.

When I'm pregnant with my gal, pple also said the same thing and during full month celebration, well wisher can come to my gal and said bring "didi lai". my parents and FIL are very open and never say such things. I just brush those comments aside and think that they are all idiots!
Everyday i just look at my gal and think how blessed i am. I had a miscarriage before and thus thank God so much that HE had given hb and me such a wonderful little gal. I'm not sure whether i will have another baby, no matter is a gal or boy, I love them all for this is what God has blessed me and hb.

So just live our life happily with our children, filter out those comments. Listen only the good things.
 
Hi Mummies
I am the opposite. I have a 9 month old boy and at first when my IL know is a boy, i have no idea of their reaction. But recently my FIL say he like gals to be the first born.

Then now i face the issue of asking me to try for no 2, and try for a gal. I told them " unless u guarantee is a gal, else no way i am going to try. and wat if is not a gal? "
 
Does it matter whether girl or boy? Some cant even have one. We shld be blessed!

My PIL wld want a boy very much and whenever they heard someone is preggie and is bearing a son. I can sense her disappointment, but i cant help it cos i am having a daughter. I think she shld be glad i gave them a granddaughter cos she got all sons. Doesnt she wants something different?

Well, i have already plan my "speech" if my 2nd is a daughter again. I probably ask her to go and check out his son's sperm. Do they contain more "female sperm" than "male sperm". My egg only responsible to recieve whoever is stronger.
 
Hi mummy of 2 gals and everyone,

I have 2 gals too! My elder one is 2yr old and 2nd one is just 3 mths.
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Both are so adorable and the gems of my and hubby' lives! Although I think a balance of boy and girl would be good, seeing my younger gal, I wouldnt wish she's something else. Initially, I thot my inlaws would be disappointed and at one point, I felt pressured. However, they were not! They are the caregivers of my gals and the love and care they shower on my gals, I can truly see how much they dote on them! I think I'm truly blessed with good inlaws, hubby and great kids!
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I do understand how much those silly comments annoy us! So far no one dares to say that infront of me as I think most knows I can be blunt and shot them down!! haha ... But shd I hear that, I will tell them off. Once my colleague asked my boy or girl for my 2nd one, I replied girl and he said "but you are such a nice person leh". WTF, u mean only bad ppl hv all gals or wat? and this coming from someone who didnt hv kids. I just replied "thanks but I think I'm blessed to hv healthy kids".
 
Hi Bluesea,

Your colleague is unbelievable!!!!!

Like you, i am blessed with great parents and PILs and hubby who never give me pressure by insisting on having a boy. Just a few days ago, my MIL came to ask me if i have scan and i said no, she said sex doesn't matter as long as baby is healthy.

My girl really brings us much joy and my parents commented that the house is different without her around.
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hahaha bluesea, u very funny!! the part abt "but u are such nice person leh" is sooo funny.

my mil has a niece who had to abort her 5mth old fetus coz of server deformity..bb's not developing properly at all. i felt so sad for her niece...but u know what my mil said "n u know, so wasted, its a boy leh"...wahliao, did she mean if its a gal, its ok?!!

hi mngo,

wah, i din know mummy to boy/s get discriminated as well!

hi helena,

similarly, i hv a friend when found out she was carrying a boy commented she did not expect herself to be so lucky to have a boy. *sign* meaning pp with gals are unlucky?

Hi all mummies,

When i started this thread, i juz wanted to vent my frustration that pp are "looking down" on gals. but after reading your postings, u gals really make me laugh with ur experiences too! this thread has helped me to recognise that i m not alone n that i shld not let other pp's comments affect my mood. hee i juz feel so unjust for my gals!

b4 i was preg, my sil wanted a boy very much.. she cried when the sonographer told her bb is a gal. i felt sorry for her gal coz muumy wished she was someone else. i tried to tell my sil that it doesnt matter at all..but she mentioned that she has too much pressure (she already has 1 gal) and that she cannot stand mean comments.... now i understand wat she meant by "mean comments"!
 
I am expecting my girl in Oct, and i wanted a girl very much.... cos while shopping i see lovely little dresses that i can get for her once she is slightly older. at 12 weeks, i went for the FTS acan, and she was too shy to tell us her gender, i am was totally fine.
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When i went for my detail scan at 20 weeks, the consultant saw a GIRL!!! i was happy and very much overjoyed and sharing the same sentiments with my hubby too..

My hubby called his mum, and told her we are expecting a girl. MIL was overjoyed to hear tt we are expecting a girl, and say, house too many MONKEYS.. kekek girl better.. lol.. Well, at least my MIL think otherwise....

I smsed my mum, telling her its a girl, she replied and said, "BABY?!?!?!" i was so mad, i replied, "Cant be a dog right?" Minutes later, she called, and ask, how come a GIRL?!?!? i was like, har? why not? It BOY tt impt? well girl also flesh n blood, and makes no difference.
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There will bever be a pressure for me to have a 2nd baby to be a girl too. cos they make great lovely daughters in the future.
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Hi ClarisseMummy,

Just a warning. There's no stopping of buying clothes for a girl!!!! I have many of those pass down clothes from my cousin but still can't resist buying those pretty dresses everytime i come across any.
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My friend commentted that i would be able to save money if my second baby is a girl cos need not invest in new clothing but i seriously doubt so. Ha Ha. That's a mummy and a woman for you!
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At times i would hesitate to buy eg a new pair of shoes for myself but will immediately pick up the dress for my daughter and pay for it.
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Mummies of girls, do you agree with me?
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hehehe ... it was one of the few encounters I had regarding my baby's gender. Another time happened abt 1 year back before I had my 2nd one, I was real mad with dat auntie. My inlaw's neighbour saw us with my elder kid at the lobby waiting for the lift and she came up and ask boy or girl? I thot it was quite obvious with the clothes my girl wore but still, wanting to be polite, I replied girl. Then in the lift, she tried to play with my girl and said "nvm, grow up will be boy liao!"
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I was too shocked to think of a reply and she got out of the lift. I looked at my hubby and confirmed if what I heard was correct. I was so mad, went to tell my inlaws and mil aso said dat auntie siao! And told me that auntie only has a child (daughter). If only i knew earlier, felt so much like going to her and ask "so did your daughter grow up to be a boy?" buay tahan!

I want my girl to grow up to be a fine lady, what grow up to be a boy? What rubbish she talking? Imagine how mad I was.

Mummy of 2 gals, I too wouldnt allow my girls to be subjected to any discrimination. They are my darlings, if anyone think they are not good enough, they can go fly kite and be away from us. We dont need them. *hugs*
 
Hi Bluesea,

Ha ha. The auntie maybe used to be a boy.

Once i brought my girl for a swim and she was in this bright pink flowery swimsuit (with frills somemoew) and one uncle still have the cheek to ask me if it's a boy or girl! My girl, at that time, do look like a boy with short hair etc but who in their right mind will dress their boy in bright pink with frills?????

Well i just stare at him for a while and turn away. Can't be bother to even asnwer such a stupid question. Dumb!
 
Hi Yuki,

hahaha ... yah man, maybe that auntie used to be a boy and now grown to become a woman liao.
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In my opinion, if anyone says anything to me abt my kids' gender, I will tell them "It doesnt bother me and hubby, does it bother you?"
 
hi yuki,

u r right!! there's no stopping of buying pretty clothings for little gals! i m not a spenthrift person, but i cant resist getting ALL colours for my gal... hehe i always think she must hv whites,purple, blue, yellow, green other then pink mah...aiyo i even tried to find blacks but difficult to find. THEN...the shoes MUST match too!! hahaha so i end up buying alot for my elder gal.
n at the back of my mind, i keep telling myself, nvrmind can pass to meimei next time (even b4 i was preg with my 2nd gal). Best of all my sil pass me alot of pretty clothings coz her dau is older then mine... but abit waste money loh, coz only weekends then will wear pretty clothings. alot of times, my gal never wear b4, already outgrown...lucky now got meimei to pass to... but i "pity" meimei, always wear jiejie hands me down, though some are brand new, i feel like i m short changing meimei leh. now my gal even weekdays wear nice clothings, coz my mum request to dress her up when she brings her for walks downstairs haha.
 
well, to me I prefer my 1st bb to be a gal cos gals are more fillial compare to boys
agree mummies here?
after we married, we will still miss hm, called our parents and send regards to them
gals more tie1 xin1
whereas boys, where gt cal hom?
unless they are mummy boys la :p
everytime I ask my hubby called his mum, as my MIL is in overseas somemore
he say called for wat, nothing to talk, I really faint
but lucky he is quite close to my parents cos my PIL is not in spore
gd thing my MIL is coming back in spore to be my CL after I give birth
and she is hoping for a grandaughter cos she realise daughter more fillial
cos she gt 2 sons,she say enough liao,haa...
for me, I hv a younger sister, think my parents dun mind a grandaughter

I am 14 weeks pregnant n really hope for a gal
and my gynae say 70% is a gal though still early,hehe...
my HB wants a boy so that can play with him
but of course bb health more impt,
He is ok with gals too
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Hi mummy of 2gals,

Yeah. My mum is taking care of my girl and she loves to dress her up even if it is just to the grocery shop to buy things
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Actually i don;t mind for my girl to waer simply but my mum said that must always dress them nicely. So now weekday my girl also wear dress etc.
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It's just so lovely to see them all dress up right? Sometimes when i am shopping outside, it will make me very happy even by just getting a nice hairclip for my girl. :
 
Hi mommies,

Guess all of us here are crazy about our girls. Hee Hee, maybe we should change the topic to 'Girls' power'!

I super crazy. My phone is full of my girl's pictures, i record her voice so that i can listen to it whenever i want.
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hahah

agree with you gals that gals are more filial.
Like my bro & me. After he got married, he moved in with his ILs and have been taking care of them. So end up i've to take care of my parents even after I was married. He brought his ILs for hols and hols but never even bring my parents for a short trip out. Also hardly pay monthly allowance to my parents and imagine my parents have to visit their own grandchildren. My bro always say too busy. When my parents wanna see more of their grandchildren, my bro's MIL like 'yao ta de ming' like that. Didn't want my parents to touch them. *sigh* I think my parents are very da fang.

Then end up my hb and I take care of my parents. I told my father, never mind, they don't allow u to carry, next time, he can carry my bb anytime he wants.
 
Hi mommies,

This thing just came to my mind suddenly.

When ever people asked about having two girls etc, just tell them good things come in pairs.
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yuki: lol.. i went to Tom & step just now.. bought 3 new rompers for my girl.. keke well i rather shop for my girl then myself.. and wat u say was true... rather spend on the girl then on ourselves.
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but at least we are happy.
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our little girl gets to dress up.
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Oh yes mummies, u bet I also bought lotsa clothes for my elder gal. Clothes like Oshkosh and Carters are my favourites! Just cant resist buying them, somemore I used to order from websites in the U.S. and got them shipped back to Spore! My hubby thinks I'm a craze! hehe ...

Mummy of 2gals, me aso leh, now let my elder gal wear nice clothes though she is at home! hahaha ... cos simply too many clothes, cannot wear "finish" during wkends mah, so wkdays also wear loh. Now I stored her new clothes in small carton boxes (like those used to store 5 rims of paper) and stacked them iside cupboards so that my hubby wouldnt "notice" them! hee...
 
Interesting thread
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I'm expecting my 2nd girl. Thankfully my PILs already have 2 grandsons, and my MIL in fact prefers girls cos she feels they would be closer to us in the long run.

My parents think that the 2 girls would also make closer playmates too
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Yuki/Bluesea/ClarisseMummy
Agree! Spend far too much on my girl's clothes cos they are simply too cute to resist! Anyway, now feel more justified in spending since no. 2 will also get to use them
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Hi Yuki,

you soo funny, me too! i got my gal's pics everywhere, my laptop, my work station, my hp, even her voice as ring tone..sometime i feel paiseh, pp may think i m crazy. but even my sis n my BIL use her pic as wallpaper for their hp n laptops and always taking her pic.

hehe i love to see my gal in dress not coz she look pretty, infact she look "funny" coz she kind of chubby n short, so in dress makes her so cartoon haha.

i agree that generally gals are closer to the fam, coz females are more emotional
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...my bro lived with his gf b4 they got married, n now they live near my SIL's mum. I hvnt seen my bro for ages liao..n my mum has to "invite" him n my sil for dinner if want to see him. and when at my mum place, they behave like guests. unlike me, i juz treat my parents home like mine n i m there 7days a week. my sis is still staying with my mum n my BIL (ROM but not custom yet) comes to my mum place everyday too n stay over on weekends. they are still waiting for their flat (near my mum) n meanwhile my BIL will move in after their wedding.

ooh also, my bro did not cel my father's bday..only my mum, sis, BIL, me, hb n my gal cel for him. i wonder if he feel sad..but i did not ask abt my bro, incase it makes my father sad. n my bro chose to cel mother's day with my SIL mum, but i think he felt guilty and after a week, gave my mum a treat.
 
Hi everyone,

I agree with mashybraiz, gals are more filial...even my mum says so. She said she dont expect my twin brothers to take care of her when she's old coz they will listen to their wives. I laughed loudly telling her that her son-in-law (which is my husband) listens to me as well and dat's why i'm happy though my MIL not happy.

I hope to have gal for my first birth also as I am the eldest and i care for my bros and sis. but my PIL was saying boy will be good for first birth. I argued with them, even though i was not pregnant yet heheheh, and when i told them wat my mum says, they keep their mouth shut
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hi everyone,
I chance upon this thread and couldn't stop laughing.I also 'suffer' the same fate of ppl (My FIL) discrimating girls and thinks that boys are better.My FIL very pian xin,prefer his grandsons to my 2 daughters.He always 'scold' my lao da stupid and my lao-er unsociable.So angry!He always side with my BIL/SIL tat bears him 2 rascals,I was so mad one day that I had this funny thinking tat my girls could be treated better if they are boys.But who cares if he loves my 2 girls or not,as long as both my hubby n I love them.

Anyway,nothing can stop a shopaholic mummy like me to buy n buy.Although,my lao er has alot hand-me-downs from my lao da,I still buys clothes for her,this time matching ones in different sizes,so tat both sisters wear alike.hahaha......
 
Just sharing my tots wif the rest of the mum here. I do hv a bb gal turning one year old next mth. She brings immense joy and warmth to me. Generally girls are indeed closer to mummy, imagine she slept on my shoulders throughout last night and always call mama whenever and wherever which you just feel so close and warm deep down.

I do receive crude and mean remarks when I was preggie. Pple start speculating I hv a boy as early as I was 10 weeks, think it's them who wished me to have a boy more so than myself. I do not hv a preference but it's their remarks that make me feel so unjustice for my own daughter, even on my own sisters and FIL who ''despise''me for having a girl. Needless to say I was really hurt but I learn to walk out of it and boy or girl, watz their biz when end of the day he/she is my own flesh and blood. Who is the one who carry the bb in the stomach for the whole 9 mths, waking up for feeding and caring for them for life. It's me so why bother with all these insensitive pple who dun care abt ur feeling. God is fair, he can't put all nice and thoughtful pple in the world, tat's why irrate do exist.

For all those mummies here, thumb up to all of us who love and cherish god's gift and I personally feel this is of utmost importance.

Admittedly, I am another mum who can't stop buying things for my bb gal though she oredy has a lot of new clothings still not worn yet. Even to the extent of buying a wear which she onli might wore once, we oso ''gam won'' right.

happy.gif
 
Hi Rain drops,

May I say your fil is so nasty to your girls!!
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I will be fuming mad if anyone says my girl is stupid. Somemore a kid is at her growing up stage, we shd encourage her with praises and guidance, how can say things like "stupid"?? I personally feel it dampens a kid's confidence. *hugs to you* Is your fil a caregiver to your girls? If he is not, maybe it's for the better.

Yes u're right, we will love our kids and they will grow up in a warmth enviornment.
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Hi Girl,
yes I also feel it's more justified to buy clothes for my elder one as the younger one also gets to wear them! Now whenever I go Metro, Seiyu or Robinsons, I will head straight to children's dept, and when I'm in the malls, I like to visit Kiddy palace etc ... gone are the days where I like to visit women's boutiques. It seems more impt to dress up my kids than to dress myself! haha..
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Hi Girl,

Wow i like what you say. "It's more justifiable to buy cos can pass down." Hee Hee. That spur me to buy more. Ha Ha.
 
Hi mommies,

i remembered this incident i came across in a foodcourt months ago. I was there having dinner with my hubby and my girl. A few tables next to us came a family of four. dad, mum, 4-5 year old daughter and a 3 year old son. Both Dad and mum went to buy food and asked the elder girl to reserved the place by sitting there and also to look after her younger brother. The brother was hopping around the table, refuse to sit on the chair despite his sister's request. Then came one point the boy decided to run round the foodcourt and disappear within seconds. The sister cried out for the parents in fear yet she doesn't dare to leave the table to chase after the brother as she suppose to 'reserve' the table. Both parents came back with the food, then the father went to look for the brother. Guess what the mum says to the girl? She accused her of not loving the brother, always fighting with him, that's why he ran away. "If you love him, why would he want to run away".... I couldn't believe my ears! First of all, it's too heavy a responsibility to ask the girl to look after such a mischievious boy while also having to reserve the table. It doesn't hurt to have one parent with them! And the best part of all, the biy didn;t even get a scolding when he came back with the father. The mum just fed him food so lovingly while the sister was crying out of fear and guilt. My hubby and i really can't help but give them a dirty look (don't know they notice or not)cos we just couldn't believe it!..... We thot the boy deserve to be spank for not listening to instructions! I would love to spank him myself! Still feel so angry and pity the girl whenever i recall this incident. With a family like that, how to grow healthy???? Feel like giving the mother a tight slap to wake her up.
 
A friend of mine grew up in a family like that, with the granny and parents favouring her younger brother. Whenever the brother did something wrong, she's the one being punished for 'not teaching the brother, not paying attention to her brother thus leads to him doing something wrong'.......

Anyway, the brother is in his 20s now and is a terror to his family. Anything not to his liking, flip the tables, throw chairs around. refused to let him drive a car cos he doesn't have a license - he used the cigrette butt to vandalise the family car.......... Who's fault? Well, the granny and parents now suffer the fate of their own doing. The man even punch my friend during an arguement.....

It's ok to hope for a boy but it's a different thing to favour a boy.
 
Yuki

ur story really very common, i met alot of families who favours the son more...tt's so unfair for the dau. actually it happened to my mum fam too. my grandma delivered 3 gals in a row, my granddad was very unhappy that he gave dau no3 away. but subsequently, my grandma gave birth to 5boys. my granddad on his death bed told my mum who is the eldest in the fam that he realised daus are better, coz they care more abt the parents...too bad he gave away 1 liao. tt's y my mum always tell me nowadays alot of pp prefer daus.

My PIL only favour boys...they dun have any daughters..they hv a few sons. but when it comes to occasions like their bdays, mother's/father's day, none of their sons celebrate with them. the sons juz cant be bothered. and their sons dont visit them too. i sympathise with my PIL actually, but too bad they choose not to recognise gals can be good too...they treat me n sil like outsiders. so i also dont put in much effort to be close to them. so my hb fam are not close knitted.

i know of a son who lives w his parents, n let his wife lord over his parents! his wife is very "fierce"... she control her PIL and she think its right. she is very proud to announce how she treated her PIL and how afraid of her they are. when she was without maid, she made her mil change n wash her bedsheet and if her mil did not do a "good job" she scold her mil. when she got a maid, she put her mil side by side her maid n "interogate" both of them, trying to find out who speaks the "truth". she is really mean to her PIL, she scold and shout at them but she thinks its right. if i were her PIL, i rather not stay with my son n let my DIL ill-treat me! why did the son let her wife do such things to his parents? The wife thinks that its only right the PIL do her bidding coz she n hb r "feeding" them
sad.gif
.

As modern DIL, we do not readily submit to our PILs, but we do not resort to ill-treating them too!

I believe all mummies to gal/s here do not mean that gals are more superior then boys. We juz meant that gals are definitely not inferior to boys! and we will not tolerate any discrimination against our daus coz we love them regardless of gender!
 
Yuki,

Reading your story, I'm really angry with that parents! What kind of parents are they to side their son so much??? What gives them the right? If they don't like girls, why give birth to them at first? My brother-in-law and sister-in-law also another set of typical parents. Their son is always lying on the sofa when having his meal or either, he will be busy on his game-boy. Often, he neglects finishing his food. But you can see the both of them looking at him lovingly as if... oh my son, anything you want. As long as you are happy. But when it comes to their daughter, she was just eating the food and at the same time, watching the TV. The mum will scold her stupid and off the TV and make her finish her food without the TV on. The daughter will then look at her brother, lost, and dejectedly finish her meal. Really poor thing.

My MIL is also another one kind. I personally just gave birth to a son 5 mth plus ago. I wanted it to be a daughter. But whatever, he's still my kid. All of my MIL's children, except my hubby, 2 guys and 1 girl, all of them with first child, girl. Only me and my hubby different. She actually got the cheek to tell me one day. Good that you have a son first. Cos a son completes your responsibility. I was like... shocked with my jaws hanging. My second sis-in-law was within hearing range and she was so upset. She's from China.

Again, even though I only have a son now, I'm looking forward to a baby girl at next birth. Yes, gals are not inferior to boys. And I will also not tolerate discriminations against girls. And, If anybody loves boys better than girls... esp PILs... ask them to give birth to one themselves la. And ha ha.... as Hong had said... check their son's sperm loh. Cause gender is determined by X or Y sperm mah. he he. Way to go Hong!
 


Actually I think I am guilty of favouring my girl over my boy. When I buy clothes, I always end up buying more for her, because girl clothes are nicer mah ! When I buy toys, I also end up buying more girl toys, because I cannot understand boy toys like cars and machine guns, what's so nice about those ? Sigh, what to do ?
 
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