Support group - Miscarriages

Hi Lynn and Optimus...
LOL I also ler, me and SIL preggy same time. then I lost mine but of course I want hers to go well lah. But sad lah, eh dun think you sway ler, like cursing yourself like that. Can pray or what ...just dun think you sway...very unlucky and negative one...
PPl go short way we go long way lor, until we old old liao already then can admit defeat!!
 


hi all,

so sad, my first post on this forum and it has to on this thread.. was a silent reader for the mar 2010 thread and was counting down to the days when i can finally join the discussion at 14 wks (am super pantang abt disclosing the pregnancy b4 tat) guess it wasn't meant to be.. we saw our baby's heartbeat at 7 wks, was supposed to hv next checkup last sat (my birthday), then on thurs nite, there was blood, went to A&E and they gave me an injection, nxt day went to gynae and he told us the bad news.. my poor baby... it prob was dead for more than a wk, the sac had already collapsed and she was all squashed up in there.. did the D&C that very day, so i spent the last day of my 20s wimpering in the hospital ward... sigh, it's our first baby, hubby was so looking forward to it... it was the first time since we dated and got married that i saw him cry.. not once but many times.. the nxt morning his hp's calender sounded the alert abt our earlier scheduled appt to see our baby.. but we didn't need to go anymore, i was scheduled to do the OSCAR this sat.. also dun need to do anymore. we've heard lots of stories abt pple miscarrying but chose to focus on the positive side, looking at all our friends who pop like nobody's business... we tot we could be like them, but sadly, we fall into the other category instead.... sigh.......
 
Hi ppcc:
hey take time to accept the loss okay. It hit me only the 2nd week after the DnC cos I was too shocked...I guess different people work diff way. My husband did not cry but keep mentioning "no more baby". Now I feel very sensitive to pregnant mummies I dun know...like so Xian mu like that....

Hi Edna:
Yeah now also deciding, my husband think cost is no choice one...He dun want us to go through another loss...still discussing. Anyway my mum advise no need so soon go visit... just do the confinement first. Eh I work today feel so much better after the blue feeling...
 
hi ppcc,
sorry to hear about your loss. i am sure many of us are able to empathize and understand what you are going through. it takes a while, but it will get better. I, too, seeked solace and comfort from others on this forum..
just know that you are not alone. take care.
 
ppcc: sorry to hear about your loss. It's takes a while before everything will be back to normal again. meanwhile feel free to post here.
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I always thought i would end up in the pop like nobody business category, seems like god has better plans eh?

JTML: lols. long way is tedious lo. alot of $$$ also.
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sometimes i really feel people don't really understand, they will just say " so when are you trying again" when they have no idea the kind of fear and stress you have to go through and others who talk about their pregnancy (ie, people who never lost before) forgetting that you had miscarriages.
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help me out of this helpless feeling!!! *urgh!!!*
 
Fairie
My gynae also advised to use condom if BD before 1st menses. Take care
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Optimus
I'm sure your gynae has good reasons for that. One of my good friends also just got preggy thru IVF recently. On one hand feel happy for her but also envious on the other hand. Sigh.

Hope we will all have good news soon
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ppcc
Sorry to hear abt your loss. Look on the bright side. Many mummies here have shared abt having healthy babies after miscarriage.
 
At least now is better you know, last time miscarriage is like it is a kept secret and is such a "shame" but now a days it is more publicised and the statistics say it is common.

Hmmm ya ya $$$ is one thing whether the heart can take it is another ... if natural trying maybe not so ex...hahha but I dunno lah, when it is time to stop trying I guess your heart will tell you also? I feel disspointed when BFN that one also another then HPTs also not cheap OPKs also not cheap. EH gov maybe should think of sponsoring us that hor since they want babies...

You know I sometimes see hear screaming kids then I say why try so hard to put your ears under such torture?? But then... ... I understand why ppl say mothers so wei ta.
 
JTML. lol. yeap mothers so wei ta.

I can't stand it when i see parents ill-treat their kids, like scold them in public until they cry etc etc.. sigh.

the m/cs has affected me more then i would like to admit man.
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yea.. I am going to try again end of the year too! can't wait for next pregnancy.

Must have faith, then we can make it.

Last time i didn't have faith, always thought that it was difficult to concieve. I need to get rid of this idea.

I believe if we maintain a healthy mindset, baby will be knocking at our door.. =)
 
eh Lynn:
Since you taking a year break ha. you must pick up a very absorbing hobby that take your mind away. You know for a while and sometimes now my husband thought I obsessed with TTC and the miscarriage.
Until start either playing a game or something. You know like keeping a dog or maybe a sports etc or baking etc etc... I actually start interested in baking.
I still reading up on all these TTC and mc related stuffs but recently I try to start thinking what to do lor. Maybe is swimming or baking.
 
dolphy,wah din know besides BFW, still have to avoid ba zhen, danggui and all those bu xue chinese herbs? Gynae says it's still not that big, so can leave it alone for now while trying to have bb...w/o menses, the cyst will not grow bigger and it may even reduce...

Hi Paradox, 2 days ago we BD but w/o condom as my hubby was too confident...jiatlat...dont think will so zhun first time after d/c to get pregnant hor?
 
hehheh fairie:
wah your hubby so daring seah...My husband until now still only touch touch me and then think think dun do anything. eh when was your DnC if 3 weeks liao maybe you O during this time? Aiya but maybe not lah, some website seem to say that first cycle after the DnC usually ppl dun O that time so usually no preggy. I not sure also. Get already also can I think some ladies zhun zhun next cycle have already.
 
Dolphy, yup.. the kkh gynea also said will give mi progesterone jabs n duphuston when i gt preggie again..

JTML, always BD in SG beri sian leh.. my hubby nt romantic or passionate one, he few days nv see mi also wun BD one la.. he can really abstain fm BD one. i nicknamed him "loghead hubby"..

to save $ on HPT or OPK, better buy those online, gt some forummers selling also, can get one for ard 40-70cent, the more u buy, the cheaper it gets.. it's also as accurate a clearblue.
 
eh same lah, my hubby from I last BD until now is like almost 2 months lor, he really can lun lor...cannot believe it.

That time we were TTC I really have to persuade him to BD BD BD...until a few time we end up fighting.

Yeah lor,I try internet ones but I a bit no trust them. So far only Clearblue have the 1 good result but lost it ...hiaz...either I really not fertile or... My egg only like clearblue. I know it sound desperate...31 years old and counting...and no baby...
 
Hi Girls,

Especially painful tonight to help my Gynae say my twins stop growing at 9 weeks when I am suppose to be in my 12 weeks tomorrow. The pain is too excruiating.

I will be doing another scan tomorrow but I know it too well that both of my babies are gone because ald no heartbeat detected.

I appreciate this thread because it is just so supportive of each other. This was my first pregnancy and m/c and really painful.

Sigh...
 
HI Ling:
Take care. I'll really hope your scan will bring some good news like a miracle tomorrow. Hey we will be here to let you express ...let us know your results.
 
HI JTML,

I'm waiting for my next menses den decide. Hopefully my body will heal naturally. The waiting period is so torturing...can't wait to TTC again.
 
Oh dear Ling... please take care and we are all here to share your thoughts. All of us can totally understand how you are feeling, and we can go through this period together..

btw, when can we BD again after Evacuation?

I am the total opposite sia.. everytime my hubby wants it, so often until sometimes i buay tahan and am scared that he wants again.. end up quarrelling sometimes cuz i keep rejecting him.
I hate to quarrel over this with him.. the feeling is nasty...

but we also realize, if we BD more, our relationship is better and sweeter.. sometimes we become quite impatient with each other whenever I keep rejecting him..

Haih.. now i really appreciate him so much more..
our love has definitely progressed to the next level after the miscarriage.. don't know why.. but I do feel that I love him even more now...
maybe emotionally dependent on him too.. =)

recently I keep wanting to BD with him again, he is so happy lar haha.. but then cannot right? My evacuation is only done last Sunday.

He said my hormone level is back to normal that's why feel like BD haha.. i don't know..
 
tks all for ur encouragement...i think I'm asking for trouble.. i went to sneak a peek at the mar2010 mtb thread again... seeing all those happy comments makes me tear up all over again... many people say the risk of m/c is down to 5% after heartbeat is detected... can't help but feel it's all a lie...... yes, 5% means it's still a possibility.. but stupid me just happily assume i was all-clear when we first heard the heartbeat.

Ling... .. this would hv been my wk 12 as well. hope we can pull through this difficult period soon..
 
Hi Shann Yheng:
You want to have sex with hubby should be okay lah remember put condom lor, BD is trying for trying for baby ler...

Anyway, i cannot, I still have some brown discharge although 2 weeks liao. It is not blood but just brownish. Sianz lor.

PPCC:
You not stupid lah, all mum-to-be always have high hopes one...I also stupid stupid have high hopes although do say a bit small at 5 weeks.

I going to March thread sometimes to see how some of the forum ladies are doing lah. Don't sad one day your turn will come, can join again one ...although it will not be the same. This lost baby always in our hearts right?
 
Tks JTML... that first site u shared is really useful.. u r right..... this baby will always be in our hearts. guess i've to find a new focus in life for now... Else it's just a endless road of slogging away at work... so sian... feel like quitting my job.. it's so stressful and it's not like i wanna be a high-flier.. my greatest dream's to be SAHM but guess tat'll hv to wait for a while..
 
ling - i hope that our ramblings here can give you some support. when i was going though what you are going through, it helped me a lot to know that i am not alone. take good care.

ppcc - for me, i have been focusing on getting my health in order - been exercising. i am focusing on my family, and my boy. of cos work takes up a lot of time. and so that i have something to look forward to, we have planned a trip overseas in Oct.
 
JTML: no lei. after D&C before the first menses come back possible to O lo. i got try before OPK after D&C and before first menses back it was positive.

yeap. finding things to keep myself busy and all that. sept is sad sad month.
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JTML, my d&c was 14 Aug 09...so by now, should be 2 weeks + le...last week till this week, i have v thick and sticky discharge, it can be white, brown or even yellow...what could this means? hmmm

everyone, stay strong and take care!
 
chin-- so envious that u hv a little boy to focus ur energies on. me also planning to go holiday in oct.. where are u off to? i had booked my leave few mths back b4 even firming up the destination... sigh.. such cruel irony tat my options hv suddenly opened up... few wks back we were still hesitant abt going overseas cos worried abt flying long distance and H1N1... now can travel anywhere, but not really in the mood liao...
 
ermm.. can I ask what usually happens when u go back for check-up after the d&c? I'm visiting my gynae this thurs.. dun really know wat to expect.. is he going to poke around my insides again? I'm still bleeding quite abit four days after the procedure.. machiam like second day of period.. is tat normal? do u ladies take chicken essence? dunno if it's my imagination or wat, but the flow seems to be heavier after i take it..
 
Hi Lynn
So sorry. You doing anything to rememeber your bbs?? Like a good dinner or some diary or scrapbook?? I am sure you will get through it okay...
 
Hi ppcc:
I still taking chicken essense like every 3 days or so.
I also got slight heavier flow, there was one lady June eng in this forum mentioned it should go away.
It really went away the day before my appointment and My appointment was only 1 week after my DnC.
The doctor did a V scan like normal gynae check up. Just to see that all the issue are gone lor.
 
ppcc -we are going to Japan..planning for the trip keeps my mind off things that i do not wish to think about. why don't you plan trip somewhere..?
 
Fairie:
I dun know ler, I still had a lot brown sticky discharge last 2 days ler.
Could be old blood.

Then it got less and less brown, Then today is clear discharge but stretchy..so what lynn and bluberi say is true lor, I suspect may be O ing....but I not testing with OPK lah, I really no courage to see or try.
 
Chin:
Japan as in Toyko or Hokkiado???
I also want go holiday ler...but I just expended so much Hoptialisation Leave and MC...I so dui bu qi my colleagues who backing me up in my absense if I go holiday.

ppcc, if very heavy bleeding you better call your gynae ler... My gynae kept reminding me that. He emphasised heavy, did he mention to you???

I did not change pads very often, I only change 1-2 times a day. Discharge was too much for panty liner type.
 
JTML- Tks for ur advice.. my appt is abt 7 seven days after the D&C. Hope will stop bleeding like u... otherwise how to let him do the V-scan?? so pai seh! waah... gd that u are O-ing... even if not trying, at least means that u are back to normal liao? i hope my recovery will be smooth too, cos my periods were getting messed up for some time b4 i got pregnant

chin - wat a coincidence... me and hubby hv just decided on japan too! prob hokkaido.. and we've decided to take the plunge and do a free and easy... it's like we must live our lives to the fullest to honour our baby... abit warped lah.. but we've been saying the weirdest things lately just to make ourselves feel better...
 
oops.. JTML.. didn't see ur msg b4 i posted the last one. I change my pads abt 2 pads each day and one more b4 i go to bed.. but they are not like soaked thru so i tot shld be ok.. they did say to call if very heavy... my only worry is abt blood clots.. cos the nurse said if got "xue kuai" (blood pieces?).. then muz call them.. i felt one yesterday and one today.. dunno whether to call or not.. scared making a mountain out of molehill? plus apart from that, i'm feeling generally ok physically

regarding holidays, maybe u take a short getaway if not convenient to take long leave? hari raya holiday coming up!
 
I am going for a check up tmr, 10 days after my evacuation. Hopefully everything is alright.

After my evacuation, i don't have any bleeding, then after 3-4 days, I had brown discharge, thick and sticky type, it get less brown after a few days and hope everything is back to normal! pray pray...
 
I dun know lah, guessing only okay...usually guage only, I need to wait for my period to confirm... Since they tell me it is possible hehheheh.

Means you will see autumn or winter?? Will you able to see lavendar?

Yeah ppcc, we saying all sorts of sadistic things to comfort ourselves.

I was sad bec he say try again. I told him it is not the same baby. My husband say maybe the baby soul will come back in the next baby we have. I just stare at him. hiaz, best is...I say maybe it is too small cos only 8 weeks, there is no soul...I SEOW right???

First day of work is worst. All my colleagues look at me long long like I alien...because they scared I sad.

Then those dunno one keep asking me where I go, I dunno how to say...hiaz...say I will tell them later.
 
ppcc, if some more clots come better call, at least they know mah.

Lynn:
You know something, my GMIL tell me drink DOM very good to sleep. I drink DOM with some warm water still I cannot sleep at night until 3-4 am thinking about the miscarriage. Until I did a scrapbook for my baby with all the scans. I think I sleep at 2am.

I really believe time can heal all wounds. I hope it does for you you know... It just take time...
 
Hi Girls,

Thanks for all the encouragment. My babes confirm stopped growing 1 at 9 weeks 6 days the other at 9 weeks. They shared the same sac so if one of the babe have issues the other is most likely in trouble.

I had the D and C done yesterday right after the scan. Day of total sadness because I have to go through quite a few times of questions from nurses abt why what and how during scan, day surgery etc. It makes me more upset when I see the babes with nicely form legs and hands in the scan.

I dont think there is possibility of having twins ever again and I loath that the odds are not in our favour.

As I have not told anyone yet aside from my folks abt the preganancy I think it is good that we save an explanation as well to everyone because my eyes just tears up whenever I think about the poor babies gone..

My hubby is equally sad and when I told my folks and him that I wannt to TCC sfter 3 months they were dead against it ... sigh!! I insist because I am ald 31 and I dont want to wait so long because I like a couple of kids and not one.

I guess only you girls will understand the pains I am feeling which I so appreciate!

My bleeding have subsidse and it is really quite little now. I have a questions for you girls, when ppl say you do an abortion you heighten the risk of cannot conceive. In this case our D and C does it limit about our chances of pregnancy?
 
Back from my check up! Gynae said my lining is normal now, HCG level has dropped to 16! He said if I do a pregnancy test now it would be negative. Phew! I feel relieved, hope my mensus will report soon, he advised me to try after 3-4 months. Will listen to him =)
 
Ling, there are a lot of women who had gone through DC and yet they still concieved successfully in the end! Don't worry, my gynae keep assuring me that it won't affect the chances of getting pregnant again.
 
Hi Ling... understand how u feel... I'm 30 this yr and this was to be my first... really hate the feeling of having to battle the biological clock... now it's worse with the thought of this m/c looming in the background... pple hv been telling me never mind, still young, can try again.. a few colleagues had m/c and went on to hv kids, but they were still in their mid-20s then.. sigh.. never mind, we jia you together okie?

JTML - i dunno whether still can see lavender in oct.. if dun hv then maybe got autumn leaves also not bad. u take care.. dun sleep too late esp since u are back at work liao.. i also dunno how to face those qns or curious looks when i go back.. ytr my 2 colleagues came to visit me and we just caught up on gossip and skirted ard the issue of why they were here in the first place. was abit awkward, but i guess it's better this way cos i somehow not comfortable talking abt it.. typing out my thoughts like this is still more bearable
 
hi ladies.. juz an update.. i juz started work today aft 2 weeks of Hospitalisation leave..
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everytin is fine.. my cramps n slight bleedg stopped 1 wk aft d/c...

went for followup checkup w my gynae on Monday.. everytin is gone.. i can start ttc again aft my 1st cycle as per my gynea
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take care gals..
 


Hi Shannen and Shann Yheng:
Good lah both of you recovering well.
okay hope to hear good news from you gals okie...

ppcc, bedtime is the time I think a lot of negative things, yeah I must try to sleep early!
Autumen leave very romantic one, I like!!

Hi ling:
how long they want to wait haaa?? Maybe they want you to recover properly... I also 31 ler...no kids also. But I don't wanna wait also ..physco your hubby first lor definitely now he wun feel ready.
My hubby refused about trying again. After that at gynae follow up, he changed his mind. The gynae say "no problem lah, try okay...who knows 3 months later I see you again with good news."
 
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