My hubby forged cert of annulment of marriage!!!

S

soontobemumof3

New Member
Am a fulltime housewife and a mother of 3(youngest turning 3 next mth) just found out the my dearest hubby of 14 years for actually forged cert of annulment to denied kids and my existence and fool around with girls out there. He finally admitted to extra marital affair only upon confronted w/o a single word of apology and also refuse to talk to me since the day of confrontation. Prior to the confrontation, he always denied everything and even accused me for not trusting him...  am a housewife for the past 12 yrs with Not a single helper, dealing everythings by myself 24/7 365days/years, Zero income, $50/week allowance fr hubby(for myself +3kids expenses) with NO saving. While I doing all the housechores from diaper changing, cooking, laundry, changelleing schoolworks etc.... He is busy working, partying, clubbing, socializing and hv affair in my back. No sign of remorseful, no change in his usual routine, where he left home at around 8am and back home only 2-3am daily. Previously, he keep claiming that he is busy at work with lot and lot of conference call liaise with U.S( due to time diff - which require him to stay so late) and sometime client dinners/function etc....... Now he SMS me and want me to let him stay away from home for a indefinite period of time.... What am I going to do? What if out of sight out of mind and out he go ....then where the $$ for kids and me?? I am unable to go out and work as my youngest only 2 and is not attending any childcare/playgroup coz my hubby claimed that he can't afford..and also my 2 primary school kids need supervise/ help with their changelleing homework - no tuition since day one of school coz again their father say Money not Enough!!!! At home lot of o/s bills, reminder letters, lawyer letter etc... And now facts shown that he mishandled his family relationship and finance all in the "wrong way/wrong person" but still he got no gut to face the music .... by asking to stay away from problems....... Now, am just worry due tonhis current financial status, if I file a divorce, will I be able to obtain any child and spouse support.....
 


What?!?!?!!! Can't believe myself... this is absurd. $50/wk and got the cheek to have affair outside. You must keep all the evidence! Sms/email/voice recording, just in case you need to use it for the divorce. Don't lose out in that way. He want to stay away, ask him for a lump sum for you and your kids before letting him go. You know where he works right? You really cannot afford to be thin-skin, for your kids' sake. Dare to ask, don't let him take advantage. He obviously has $. How else would other women outside want him?
Stay strong!
 
To elevate your living costs, go to the forum Marketplace & Exchange - Free items, a lot of nice mummies giving off free stuff.
 
Yes. He is!! I must be blind all these years, only to see the truth after a long 14 yrs of marriage. The most recent evidence was a pair of musical tickets cost nearly $400 but of coz he denied again, first claiming that he bought on behalf of friend (coz his credit card giving discount) , subsequently said he going to watch with he very close guy friend....... Sigh! As much as I want to gather more evidence, he is no stupid. He set password on Hp, change it quite often and worst the HP was with him 24 hrs including bedtime(either under the pillow/ in his short pocket), he brought it into to the shower area too...... Blocked me from his Facebook, keep the car spare key, and think nowadays a lot of bills redirect to either his workplace/his parent address to avoid my checking( coz I ever open up a few of his letter and found something's fishy). Sigh!! The whole of last week, he came back at 4am daily.... w/o any sign of remorseful ..... Am really heartbreaking, loss to see my marriage going this way.... My kids, $, my worried....... Specially stay awake to try to talk to him any plan at his end for our 'future' and my phobia and worry for our kids..... He keep mum throughout only to say y worry so much, kids eventually will grow up and forget everything's and if I really want a divorce and scare that he is not going to pay for the child and spousal support. Then by all mean call police! Catch him put him in jail lah! So simple also need him to teach me!!!!!!!!!! Help I am go crazy very very soon.
 
My 2 bigger kids more or less understand and can see for themselves their parents not in good term and how much times and cares the father spend with the family yet when I mentioned to them cautionally/causally that we cannot get along and may live separately -- both kept silent, then I saw the second one tear rolling in his eyes. Immediately, they get up from where they are (watching TV in the MB) and go back to their own bedroom. Mins later, I went over and checked, both r crying(discreetly) ,laying on their own bed with blanket over their head..... how!!!! When I tried to hug and console them, they cried even louder saying that although they are a bit scare of Papa(he alway show a back face while at home and everybodies hv to lower the voice and avoid making unnecessary noise - if not scolding follow) but their still want Papa and love him, they want all of us to stay together as One.......they dun want to us to stay separately.... Youngest boy also ran over and hug me, kissed me on both cheeks and said 'I love mummy, I love Papa'............!!!!!! What shd I do now, painful to see them feeling sad and hurt .... Shd i stay put in marriage for child sake....(not to be selfish...or.....but I am really hurt right to the bottom of my heart by his unfaithfulness ...... Which is which now, I confuse...... I loss.... Anyone's hv encounter same situation like me b4 , can share some advice pls!!!
 
Btw, my husband is still not doing anything, no changes on his part so far, still come back daily at wee hours (3-4am)... I dun see him feeling remorseful at all, he still very much his usual self and pretend that nothing happen so far........ How kids still asking for him, love him, still want us to stay as a 'family' ... Wat to do now... Divorce or not divorce.....????
 
Will kids grown up and hate me shd I go ahead with my decision to divorce? Becoz, on their part they already told me that they want papa, they love papa, they want all to stay together as one and also although is their papa who messes up the marriage and family relationship, but he did not mention abt divorce (only to say allow him to stay away from home to do self reflect). Now look like the problem arrow back to me, saying that is up to me to decide to divorce or not. If I choose yes, he go with it. And if I choose no, things ......remains ... unchange....??
 
sad to hear your post. How can you bear with such a man for so long. Have you ever think of going out to work? maybe change of lifestyle might help your relationship.
 
Yes. But like I said he so called ' long working hours - leave home at 7-8am back at wee hrs, earlier past 12mn daily, does not give me any chance to take up part time not even wkend. Sometime he also claimed that he need to work or cannot handle the kids.........(my trust and understanding turned out to be abused and betrayed) ....... And now my biggest headache is hv to settle where to put my youngest (turning 3 next month) in childcare first (NO $-mentioned to him many times he just keep quiet) before I can at least go out there and look for a morning part time.....I still need to take care of the other 2 after school in the afternoon..... meal, schoolworks etc.. ..... .... Now even if I hv a tot for children to stay put in the marriage, to forgive his unfaithfulness, yet we live like stranger under one roof. No conversation the whole day, no interaction with kids, merely laying on the sofa or bed watching TV, SMS, sleeping. The min I open my mouth want to get him talk abt 'plan for future', he get up grab the car key and go....in fact he also say he dun love me anymore............ Sigh! Help wat can I do now....... I know a job is a MUST now but how to?
 
i think the 1st step is to get the money u and your kids needs. Go to maintenance mediation to get your maintenance for yourself and your kids.

Let him shows to the court why he have no money. Take things a step at a times, as u needs to built up financially. Once u have maintenance for the childrens put them in day care or get a nanny. U can then start to find a part-time job.

Honestly tell u, if u wait, your life will be worse off. He will definitely spend more and more money outside.
 
Tks Janey, I am clueless to everything's, maintenance mediation? Does that mean I hv to get it done thru lawyer?or where can I seek help for this- free?? Yes, he dun love me anymore, but does it mean a divorce is a must? Or let him do wat he want outside and I stay put for my kids in this 'marriage' ,my 2 bigger kids actually knew wat's happening recently, and since then they cried occasionally, they scare of papa but they still want papa, they want all to stay together......even the youngest follow, nowadays he keep asking for papa.... how to tell them and things aren't the same now......
 
Mabbe you can call AWARE at 1800 774 5935. They also have free legal help, and they can help you with your issues. Do call them and see what they say..
 
soontobemumof3

I nearly teared when you talked about how affected your kids are. As a mother, it’s absolutely heartbroken to see our child cry quietly and so hurt. Totally understand how you feel..*hugs*

If I were you, I will start to set priorities and at the same time accept that your hubby’s love for you is gone. The most important thing now is not about divorcing your husband but settle livelihood of you and your kids first. You can talk about divorce and alimony later when the basic needs are settled. Buy time to work out your finances (meantime at least you have some allowances from him) and then plan how you can work out your finances, look for job, place to stay. These are the important things. Can your family help? Friends?

Like what ayana said, perhaps call AWARE and see what they can advise. But at this moment, divorcing your hubby will not make you and your kids life better. It might be even messier. When the basic things are settled (financially stable, a place to stay, childcare/nanny settled, after school care settled), you will find confidence in yourself and then you will have a calmer heart to discuss divorce matter with your hubby.

Hugs and all the best…
 
Do u have alternate caregivers like parents, in laws to take care of the kids for u? While u look out for a 9-5 job, a extra 2.5k+bonus+cpf contribution will do wonder to ur current situation.
Meanwhile if u put your youngest in the child are, there will be subsidy too for working mummies.

I do agree with the rest, there's no hurry to divorce ur hb now. As long as he bring in the dough. Settle your kids n urself first.

If u r financial independent, there is nothing to fear even though he file for divorce. At the most, he move out of the house n pay for monthly alimony. ur hse is ur asset.

Rent out a common room n employ a maid instead, it will even be better if u can stay with ur parents n rent out ur whole house instead.

With ur salary, hse rental, alimony, u can jolly well afford to employ a helper, tutors n child care for the kids, it surely beat the current situation.

The most impt is to settle urself n the kids. take care. explain to ur kids tt even daddy n mummy not staying together but both of u are still friends n he is still their daddy not as though as if they will not be seeing him forever.
 
the maintenance mediation can do it yourself. just pay $10/-.

i feel if u delay more, he will go into financial difficulties and both of u will be affected.
 
Tks SeR, janey, Diana, aria Jo, Ayana and all those kind hearted people out there for all ur suggestions, ideas, information and even offer to help lending pairs of listening ears for a helpless mum like me...... Still I unable to get out of all the trouble arrows shooting from NSEW everydays..... 1st..... He still come home daily, the idea of renting out a room to generate $ is OUT and impossible, 2nd..... He mentioned abt moving out, in fact is fine with me coz I see no different as compare to now (max only 5 hrs at home and use it for sleeping), juz worry abt $, out he go and $ coming in - mentioned to him a lump sum to support kids and I during his absentb- he keep mum and no action, no $, same put $50.00 on the table - so idea OUT again. 3rd - getting Parents/IL to take care if the kids so as to allow me to go out to work is OUT too, as mentioned earlier on I only hv my mum now whom is almost 80yrs old and unable( no energy) to look after young kids, child care- can't afford and IL is totally OUT of the Q as my 3 kids since day 1 of birth, they dun offer help... coz in the beginning MIL very very much against our marriage (my husband being a Catholic and I am not) and she felt that I stole her son from her coz her elder son left the family at a very early age for his wife.....against her wish. Thus, our marriage actually was not really blessed by parent in the beginning but we r so in love at that point of time. And yes we did overcome lots of difficulties all these years only to found out that my husband dun treasure it like I do. All these years is not that I am lazy dun want to work, mainly becoz no alternative to look after my kids, not a single suitable time slot (including weekends) for me to get out of the house either to work or interact with friends. Actually I am quite content to this type of lifestyle all these years (even with only$50/week allowance) naive thinking that I hv loving and hardworking husband and 3 lovely kids....now everything's caught me our if the blue............. 4th...year back did mentioned abt getting a maid, a nanny, childcare, tuition for kids, school bus tot, swimming course, all the ideas put on hold all becoz he claimed $ not enough and I also spare a tot for him that he is the only sole breadwinner, burden is very hugh and heavy.... but only to find out that he is willing to spent BIG on others but not us......even till now, I voiced it out LOUD and CLEAR that $50/week is not enough for 3 kids and me. He ignore still a $50/week No change. 5th.... I even told him that I am not totally again his idea of staying away for his so called 'self reflection' but he need to keep his words as men to support us financially during his absent by B&W since I am not given any help or time to go out earn any $....... Again is a NO NO Answer and action from him. Recently, raining season, while trying to sending them to the bus stop in the morning to catch a bus, we r all soaking wet and he just sleep and ignore.... SIGH!! 6th.... Divorce is definietly the last on the list becoz now although I can't make any changes but we still hv a shelter over the head and if I go ahead with divorce, I might end up with nothing or more misery life - no child & spousal support, no roof over our head due to lots of o/s bills at home-is he will to declare bankrupt.... (all o/s bills includes lawyers letter for maintenance of the house, lawyers letter for various overdue credit cards, for SP power supply, for phone bills, housing loan etc....) since he can simply say call police to catch him if he dun pay, so I think maybe he has the evil plan in mind.... I need to be feel very secure before I go ahead with all plan.... 7th...... I also need to worry for kids feeling and not to affect their studies...... 8th ..... Am also worry for kids custody coz as I am the one and only maincaregiver, they are extremely close to me, but then again I am totally not working, unable to go out and work and no income, will the court let me hv the custody? I already lost my husband, i can't live w/o them too, but also on the other hand, if I hv the custody of the kids then if he refuse to pay child support, how can I support them ?????? Am calling AWARE hotline to check ............
 
Hi,

Saw your post. Have you consider doing house cleaning? Since you are a housewife for so many years, house cleaning skill is your asset. Might as well make good use of it.

Moreover, time is more flexible. You can do it when your kids are in school. That is what some of the house cleaners whom I have engaged previously done. They use the time that the kids are in school to earn additional income.

Hourly rate also not bad. Currently the cleaner who I am engaging now is $15 per hour. Minimum must use her for 4 hrs (std practise). So she get $60 per day for one house she do. So if hardworking, do 5 days, you will get $300 additional per week. This is definitely more than what you get from that hubby of yours.

This is just one of my suggestion where you can get additional income and also flexible working hours.
 
Hi ann, tks for ur kind suggestion. Yes, house cleaning / baby sitting during day time seem the best option now to earn the extra $ apart from my miserable $50/week allowance. But again I hv restriction-- by youngest who is not in any childcare yet and hvg no alternative caregiver. He definietly can't tag along when I do cleaning job..... Everythings is not in my favor...actually I called AWARE hotline yesterday and was advise to call legal clinic for more help ...
 
Maybe you can try to check with the house owner. Some house owners are understanding. They will allow you to bring your youngest to do work at the same time. I think your boy is 3 yrs old soon. He should be able to follow simple instruction. Bring some books or toys or sweets to entertain him while you work away.

No harm trying. Don't be despair. Cannot always think everything is not in your favor. No matter how hard or tough the situation is, there is always a way out. It is just like a tunnel. Although it is dark, but if you decided to stop halfway, the environment around you will always be dark. But if you work hard and continue to dig, eventually you will see the light on the other end.
 
soontobemum.

I SOOOO totally feel for you because our situation is almost similar!!! So lost, so caught in a situation where theres seems to be no way out!

All i can say to you now is, take a deep breath, and take each things at a day. Do consider working in a childcare/preschool, as a teacher, or asst teacher where u can put your child in at a heavily subsidized if not free rate. I am trying to find a job like that too.

I dont think bringing your child to work is a good idea, i totally know what a 3 years old is. I've tot about tht, but its quite hard really. They are so active, if they are infant its different.

btw is can u turn on ur pm ?
 
Ultimately, things will only be getting more n more severe at your end with the burden getting heavier n heavier. The mounting bills with the youngest still have to attend school no matter what, the other 2 tutor classes for the preparation of PSLE n for the sake of their future.

If so, I will suggest u to work on your hb first. Sit down n discuss with your hb to improve the current situation.

What actually cause the loving r/s to breakdown? Is it because that u hv been neglecting him because of the kids? Y has he been seeking solace elsewhere?

It might be hard for a guy to change from a boy fr a protective family to a husband with 3 kids.

Sit down and talk to him and let him know that he is not alone and you are willing to work on and solve the current financial issues with him.

Tell him that u wish to work to lighten his burden and if there's any way that he can do to help u. Put what between both of u aside, settle the kids first.
 
Tks SeR, really so touch and appreciate everyone out there of coz including u, for all ur kind hearts, care & concern plus all the various advices......... Yes, I did do some soul searching on my part and also agreed that a marriage take two to make it work on- thus, wat i can think of is I must hv too overly concentrate on kids matters neglect him. I did apologize to him and tell him that I am willing to make changes toward a new and better future for all of us..... But he simply say no use, no feeling for me, his own problem, he dun derserve all of us, leave him alone, ask me not to bother him...let him be himself, he did not intend to do any changes for the time being..... In fact, he himself admit that he is the one doing stupid thing, not my fault at all. But, still till now not a single word if apology, no sign of remorseful and me & kids are still alone everyday by ourselves as usual .... The only different is that all the while I believed and trusted him that if he cannot be with us at this timing is due to too busy with his work. And at time i also feel so sorry for him to work so hard for this family. But now I know is NOT TRUE, this timing he is happily with his new 'love' ......I am struggling to put the little one to bed and coaching the big kids with schoolworks.... SIGH!!!!
 
Sorry gal to hear abt that. In fact I know colls n guy friends who's like that too. They are like family men but outside have several gal friends and 1 even got twins.
In the end he divorced his wife of 20yrs to be with her n their twins children.
My recent gal friend even found a "video" clip of her hb with another gal in his hp.

If you could really close an eye, there's at least 10years for the kids to grow and things to be easier.
 
Btw, years back when he is earning much much lesser $$ than now, at that time I did mentioned to him to put the kids in cc or nanny or get a maid to help out and I be able to come out and work to help lighten his burden but a straight NO from him. And early last year, I did mentioned again, he told me not to worry, he is able to handle everything and ask me to just concentrate on kids...He is doing fine..and also assure me that he love all of us and working hard all for this family ... .. Now??????????? Of coz now, this hours, as usual , he is still no where to be found......???
 
Hihi...i have been thru similar to ur case but abit lucky coz i worked...u have to start asking urself weather u stll want this hubby back...if the ans is yesn u can really forgive n forget then try ur best n c if u can salvage this relationship ...
If u know u cant forgive him then just move on to start a new life with the kids...never mind about the kids coz ultimately he is still the papa...u will hv the full custody n care plus he must give u the alimony ...dun worry abt the bankrupt issue juz go for legal aid...gather more
infor...get help fm yr frds or even ur own family..then try to act like u will wait for him to come back to u but behind him gather all the nessacary evidence coz my aim is let him think that u r totally helpness so u
r frd or family can get the evidence easier ...Dun worry abt no place to stay coz if u hv the care n control of the kids then most likely u hv the hse ...the most is selling the hse n convert to cash....天下无难事。。。只怕你放弃。。。thedun worry at all coz there r organisation out there to help i swear coz i hv seen so juz go ahead....plan n be sure of what u want first....i hv done it and now into my second marriage two kids fm previous n two fm current..hv gone thru alot alot but i did it when they were young therefore now thier lives are stable not affected by parents problem ...so they can concentrate in studies...i hv to admit that u hv a long battle...ahead of u but if u think u can U sure can...n my kids r older i try to explain n simetime even apologized to them that all this happened to them was really 必不得意。。。and they understand n accepted me ...now both of them are in secondary sch..happened when my youngest was only two....anything juz mgs me n u can contact me too n i c how to help or get help for u ok take carevn stay calm... ﹰ
 
Soontobemummy, I think your husband is really ready to get out of this marriage without qualms. The act of forging a document like that, I only have one thing in my mind and he is not only cheating you but cheating other ladies out there too. Shame on him. $50 a week, I really can't imagine how to survive.
Is there anyone that you can approach to help you look after your youngest? Siblings? Friends? Neighbors?
Else find a job that you can do from home.
 
Hi all, I found a night club non-transferrable membership card bearing a lady name in my husband wallet.....after he came home at 2am this morning. Took a pic of it, not to sure whether it can be use as kind of evidence in future to proof that he womanizing, fooling around and he is willing to spare a splurge on others but not to his family $50/wk. How to warn girls/ladies out there to be careful of him????? Cheater! Liar! ....... Sigh! Speechless now....
 
It's not strong enough as a proof. You need to catch him in intimate position with another lady together with other things.
Let me ask you something, are you ready to divorce him? Get half of his assets and make him pay monthly allowance? Do you have access to his accounts?
Are you brave enough to tail him and see where he goes and does what and confront him on the spot?
 
even if soontobemum is willing to forgive or try to work out the marriage it appears that her husband is not willing. so even if she wants her hubby, its only one sided. You can forgive so that yourself wont be filled with anger, hatred, pity and resentment.

I hope at this point, you will have friends n family support and if you have belief, pray and trust in God. Be composed and work out the best feasible plans. Seek help if needed, watever form of help.

Theres so many kind mommies in sg that's always ready to help in many forms.

Dont feed any negative emotions, be practical and try to be as optimistic as you can. Know that one day you WILL be out of this dark tunnel.

Hugs!
 
Hi,
I am so sorry to hear yor sad encounter but your story really reminds me of my bxxxxxx father....

Same as u, my mom is a full time housewife wif 3 kids. My father gave her only $200 a mth which is a peanut of what he earned! He got at least $3k a mth. 30yrs ago, this is considered a high income. To make things worst, she got an autistic & violent son... There was a time, he stopped giving her allowance when we were very young so my mom went to his workplace n embarassed him. It worked...
To relief our expenses, my mom rented out 1 of our rooms & work as a part time cleaner when we r slightly older. We managed to survive.

When that man got his CPF, he bot a bungalow in Johor. He wanted to spend the rest of his life wif his lover... There was not a single cents left for my mom & my autistic bro. Then he got greedier, he lied to my mom to sign the dotted line to sell off the house but lucky she din. Mom seek MP & got a lawyer to sell his share at a reasonable rate to us so we manage to keep our roof. It was a long & tough fight.

Eventually he was punished by gods! He was broke & penniless now cos he was cheated by his lover's bro. SO even though he was divorced wif my mom, he still got the guts to ask for money from us! We got the courts order for maintenance to my bro but my mom pity him & din pursue further... He's already 66 n he dun even have enuff to fend himself and his new family... sigh

I really thanks my mom for what I am now... she is the strongest person despite so many setbacks. If we can go back time, I wish she can get that man out of her life sooner! We need that peace.

I hope you can be strong too & get what you should deserve. It's not easy... look for emotional support from religion & friends. Then find a lawyer & grab his asset before it's gone. There is a free legal help you can seek from.
 
TS,
I dun quite understand this thing about forged cert of annulment. Was the marriage annuled with the authorities or is just a fake piece of paper?

I really think u need to calm down, and reflect on the situation. Pehaps start to take steps to move on life without him. Waiting for him to change is only going to freak u out even more.

Turning on your PM will really help
 
Hi Cat, tks for sharing your own parent experience with me. Your mum is so strong and brave , she indeed deserved all your respect for all her hardship put into upbringing of u and ur siblings despite facing lots of setback. Our case really look so similar, my $50/wk also equivalent to $200/mthng w my mom since we gt married coz no $ to buy a hse and he is nt a PR yet..nw i am juz waiting for the time to reach thn file for divorce w him but the main concern nw is he kept on cum n pester n even recently he threaten n say wil cum n tk away my gal bk to malaysia by force even i dun agree on his father dead anniversary. (at present, a $50 easily use up in a day. eg. Topping up kids and my EZ link cards for their tpt to school $30.00 gone........). All these years, i clueless of his earnings, we do not hv joint acc and his pay go thru Giro directly ti his acc and he kept all his statement secretly ----Recently while trying to search for more evidence, i chance upon copy of the property statement showing his earning per annum was more than $200k......and shameless VP husband only able to give me $50.00/week and no more. No tuition for kids since Day 1 of school(despite they are not bright in their studies), no enrichment course of coz (including swimming lesson $60/mth, he claim that is way to X and refuse to let kids hv it) and No cc/playgroup for our youngest son..... He claimed he can't afford.... And by earning so much he mishandle all his finance, lots of various outstanding bills includings the basic SPower supply....the authority even sent their men down to our house (he is not in of course) to cut off the supply...!! He settled partially and we hd the power restored back.....but then again when is this going to happen again.....nobody know.....that is why I am feeling very insecure even if I make up my mind to leave this men.....with no child support from him, Not even a roof over our head, no alternative helper and is definietly going to affect kids daily life and most important their study......
 
have u gone to the maintenance mediation court yet?

People can give u 101 suggestion, but ultimately, u are the one that needs to take some action in order for u and your children to live in a more comfortable condition.
 
u are the one that needs to take some action in order for u and your children to live in a more comfortable condition.

I agreed with Janey.
 
I did not hv any chance to see a copy of the so called 'cert of annulment' myself. Everything began when one of my close relative saw him with his now 'ex romance' (and so coincidence, she happen to be my relative ex- schoolmate). And later when my relative met up with his ex-schoolmate and learned from her that my husband actually show her a copy of this cert of annulment (thru HP - no physical hard copy), prove to her that he is not married and has No kids.... and also their romance hv last for months.... Upon confirmation with my relative, she had since then broke up with my husband....but things did not stop there and then..... it. seem that my husband trying hard to woo her back....and now it seem that he is after not only one girl but one after another or maybe a few at the same time........ maybe using the same trick! Upon confrontation, he admitted to the forgery of cert, claiming that he just so stressed at work and got himself distracted. By I did not see any sign of remorseful, he still very much his usual routine 7am-3/4am daily........he even said he had a plan in mind but not the right time to execute yet and do not intend to make any changes currently.....!!!!!! As for my side, I am so restricted with the kids especially the youngest that I cannot move a single step out to look for job to make myself financial independent again. and on the others hand, his huge mishandled finances also. did provide me a sense of financial security towards alimony for kids future, shd I go ahead for divorce....So kind of stalling the time for both of us, even if I manage to get him put my youngest to PG/nursery (the mist 3 hrs) A STRAIGHT NO cannot afford from him for CC. Is hard to find a 3 hrs. part-time job and must be the correct timing too............ BTW, he claimed that the copy of cert if annulment is very easy obtain from Google search and is all using cut and paste method with no signature required.......so how can I use this to report to police or authority?????- no hard proof.
 
"and now it seem that he is after not only one girl but one after another or maybe a few at the same time."

"he even said he had a plan in mind but not the right time to execute yet and do not intend to make any changes currently"

It seem like he will abandon the family or worst scenerio, chase the family out n bring in the mistress once he found his "love". It's just a matter of time.

To prepare for the worst, bring your bank account/CPF contribution to the MP for help, try to see whether there's any charity organisations/legal help who could help to put your youngest in class/student care for the oldest kids n find a job for you.

Meanwhile avoid sex with him. God know what disease he has and it will only complicate matters if there's STD/unwanted pregnancies.
 
TS,

The annulment cert is a non issue to u. He use a piece of paper to con other women. Nothing to do with u.
If ur household is getting lawyers letters/ SP Svc cut off, meaning he is in financial difficulty. No point filing for maintenance. He got no $ now, he wun have $ later.
I doubt he has gotten citizenship? Anytime he can run back to his hometown, abandoning the sg life.
Honestly, u got no leverage over him.
U need to focus on being independent and stop harping about how he has wronged u. The more u piss him off, the more he will detest u.
 
for your info, if she can get hold of the cert, then thats is cheating.

from what i read, her husband have money, he just refused to pay for the bills. He have money to buy $400/- ticket.

i bet he wouldn't give up his well paid job here.

i agree with your last sentence about being independent
 
Hi,
Sad to know your hb and my father belonged to the same kind of shameless & coward man!
My mom oso put up his shameless acts till the children grown up before she filed for divorce. During that times, she beared a lot of humilation from him & his lover. I would say your hb is the same too... he won't inititate the divorce cos it will be to his disadvantage.

Totally agree wif triple70... he is penniless. I would suggest u sever your ties wif him cos his debts are going to kill u n your children one day! Trust me, I had just settle one of my father's long list of debts. Stupid of me to believe that he's borrowing money from bank for my sis studies & using me as a gurantor.... it was another lie. Who knows where the money goes to? *sigh
Imagine if your hb cannot resolve his debts and turn to loan sharks... who will suffer? Him or u? Sorry, I may sounded a bit harsh but tis is a realistic scenario and a gd example from my family.

Ok, solve your problem one by one... First to be independent. Seek MP help to write u some letters to put your younger son in CC & the older ones in student care so u can concentrate to look for a job. Then file for seperation asap. The divorce process will speed up if you can prove that u r not sleeping wif him together although living under the same roof.
 
Hi triple 70, my apology to u, certain part of my earlier post got mixed up with some info from other posting..... my husband is a Singaporean. I must accidentally hit the wrong button....sorry ( from $200/mth ........................all the way till n .......................................father dead anniversary)
 
If im not wrong you can also divorce with grounds of 'unreasonable behaviour--if he consent to it then ok immediate loh but otherwise, it's a min 3-4 years wait. Most likely children will follow mother but you will then have to find a job to support your 3 children (with an additional monthly maintenance monies from him) So by hook or by crook you'll need to take this leap of faith and go find a job...i am very sure you'll find somethiing..just that maybe as you were not working for over years now, so might just for now, give and take eg: salary might be low, distance far etc don't be so choosy on the job as you have to think of your 3 children now..

Anyway we ladies here can only advice you and listen to your troubles to some extend and the rest it's up to your decision to do something..my opinion, COMPLAINING DO NOT LEAD YOU ANYWHERE
 
I do agree, u seems to be complaining in this thread, but not taking action. I think the only way out is to stand up for youself and your children.
 
What an absurd hb to do a forged cert and play around so irresponsibly! Like Choco said, stand up for yourself and take positive action that will help the family. Do you have relatives or neighbours who can help babysit while you find part-time work?
 


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