Support Group - Stillbirths

Good morning Mummies

how's everyone? Thanks Java and curl for reassuring me about the steroid jab...makes it less threatening.

Patsy,Steph and Estbaby, you can take a peek of the book which I was telling you all here:

http://www.amazon.com/Safe-Arms-God-Truth-Heaven/dp/0785263438/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-5036871-1151869?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1179967843&sr=1-1

Actually as I was browsing through Amazon, I found other titles on the topic of child/infant loss and bereavement. Usually, what I do is when I see a book I like, I'll copy down the ISBN Numbers and titles, call up Kinokuniya and place my orders. I bought several infertility books from them this way...In about a month, when your order's in, they will inform you for collection. No deposits, No hassle, No surcharge.
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I can't find the journal on the web though - I've to wait for my husband to go home to retrive it before I can share the title.
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so do be patient. Patsy, I'll sms you my ward details tonight...will your hubby be back in time to accompany you for Monday's meeting?

Anyway, last evening, I had a scare. I did not drink so much water but I feel the urge to use the bedpan everyhour! I became worried that perhaps it's the waterbag leaking rather than urinating as I remembered few weeks ago, the night before Joash's hb stopped, I didn't even realised my waterbag has leaked, my pad and bedsheet were not soaked or anything! Mummies, how can I tell? I get scared so easily and end up praying throughout the night under my breath for God to protect Ashley...
 


Hi Angel,

Good morning! Thanks for the peek at the book. I am going to try to get it from Kino.. had also asked a friend of mine to order this book on SIDS from there.

We will be praying for Ashley.. Did you check with the nurses and doctors?? Maybe tell them that you are feeling uncomfortable about it and let them check? Am sorry, i am not of much help here but I know that the smell of the liquid is different.

Do keep us posted when you can alright?
 
angel, hang on there!
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The steriod is a bit more painful than the HCG injection. It's the same stinging sensation u get when u have HCG, but the sting takes longer to cease (cos higher volume). Have u had any progesterone jabs before? That one is more painful than the steroid. i hope i have given u a good idea of the pain threshold... Dun worry, it is painful but definitely tolerable.
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mommies, a big hug to all of u. It is unfortunate to see u in this forum and yet, i feel very touched to see that all of u are such warm and kind hearted pple! Thanks for extending ur friendship, let's continue to support angel! jiayou!!
 
estbaby, am so sorry... didn't read your previous posts! sorry if i caused any pain and despair.

angel, am so happy to hear from you! please talk to the doctors to ask them what it could mean. I will pray to God that he holds Ashley safe and in His arms until it is her time to come to the world. Don't worry about the journal! SMS me, ok? You can drink chicken essense? I received so much during our stay in the hospital I pass some to you!!

The meeting on Monday is to talk to her doctors to hear from them exactly what happened from the time she went into the OT till she passed on, cause the whole time in the hospital no one told us anything. All they would tell us is hope and pray and wait! Hopefully after hearing what happened will make it easier for us to move on, specially my parents.
 
Hi angel, It has been quite a while since i posted here.

Remind them the of the jab when u reached 24 wks gestation. It really make alot of different to the bb lung.

When my son was in NICU, I got to know a mummy whose ger was only 24 wks gestation and has not taken any steriod jab. Maybe the junior doctors left out or what. It take a very long time for her bb to be off oxygen. She has to went throught certain surgery and has to carry oxygen home when her bb was discharged.

For my son i only taken 1 jab. Those mummy whose has taken 2 jabs, have bb whose have stronger lungs.

We are lucky that we are given the jab and our bb was off oxygen without much problem.

when i give birth to my ger at 34 wks, Dr han give me 2 jabs with a different of 12 hrs interval. I took my first jab at 1400hrs and the next jab at 0200hrs. I was told that the jab need 24 hrs to take effect.

Pls remember to remind them cause most of the time we are taken care by juniors drs. Most the time they blur blur one.

Hange on.... u are almost there. U will not feel that bored when they shift you to the delivery wards as there have TV now. During my times they dun have it and it was really bored....

Sorrie for the long post, as most of the times i was busy with my bb. Its really difficult as they like to type on the computer too. Cant really post when they are awake.

Take Care and hang on and soon u will able to see your bb ger.
 
Patsy - no worries, I have become very open about it as there has been many other people who ask etc. For me, the other doctors I had wanted to do a post-mortem for my girl as they could not find out the reason why there is complications cos her chromosomes are normal, but my gynae says depend on me as the cost is quite high for post mortem. In the end, I decided not to so that she can pass on with peace.

Angel - Do ask your doctors to check if there is anything wrong. better to be safe. Tks for the peek of the book! I will try to browse kinoku if they have the book. My brother gave me a book which is similar after I was discharged. I hang on to that book to have the belief that my girl will be well taken care of by angels and Jesus. (P.S. I am not a believer in Christ actually)
 
Angel

Dont worry so much. The reason why are you peeing is because like when you mentioned, the bag has bulge slightly down.

Thus, it will affect your bladder and you will feel extremely 'urgent' yet not much urine. At least you can pee on the bed pan, I cant even do it. But if you really feel v stressed, then get them to attach the urinary thingy on you so that it can drain put the urine and you need not go to loo.

The nurses did tell me then to drink > water as it lessen the possibility of infection.

Hang it there Angel. Weekend is coming soon and Ashley will turn 24 weeks v v soon. You have done really really well! You deserve all the hugs and kisses (virtual) that we can give.
 
Hi Mummies

good morning! Just a quick check-in to tell everyone that I'm still hanging on here at KKH. It's Friday, I'll be getting my weekly anti-contraction jab later at the thigh
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It leaves a stingy sensation but still bearable cos we women are made of steel!

My hubby brought the journal from home y'day. It's called 'Forever in our Hearts' and I highly recommend all mummies and daddies who have precious angels in heaven to get a copy as a remembrance of the beautiful life they've lived (no matter how brief it may be). This is how the journal looks like : http://www.quietrefuge.org/Resources/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&product_id=1

According to my friend who gave us that copy, 2 stores in Singapore are retailing it.
a)Armour Publishing - 62279700
b) SKS Bookstore - 62769976
Even if they do not have stock, you can always get them to place an order on your behalf. Otherwise, can try Kino again.

I hope it helps. Will check in again sometime later. Hugs...
 
Hi Angel,

Thanks for the link.. I will call up the bookstore and get one. It is really beautiful yah? Am thinking of making a quilt with gabriel's clothes but the thing is that i am hopeless with sewing. Its a project that i will embark on soon i hope!

Hugs for the jab! I know that u can do it! Baby Ashley will be very proud of her mummy
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Its a friday and the weekend is approaching again. It will be gabriel's one month angel anniversary this Sunday and we are planning to visit him. Maybe just spend some time with him.

hugs
steph
 
Angel

You are great! Hang it there.

Can you also pass this message to Ashley?

From Aunty Curl :
Dear Ashley, you are such a great little baby. Hang in there in mummy's tummy a few more weeks. It is definitely v comfortable inside. Sit tight okie. Sayang Sayang...
 
Reading all your experiences here really made me shed my tear! Mother love is indeed the greatest!

I have also experienced the pain when my darling angel, Gabriel was called upon to heaven. Today is exactly one week. I still misses him alot. I have taken photos of him and each time I look at time, my heart start to ache. He could have survived if only my gynea could give me the right decision on what to do.

My Angel, Gabriel was stillborn at 33 weeks. Could have save him if I deliver him on Wed. Went for my usual checkup on Tuesday and I felt something is not right when his movement is not as active as initial. Was scheduled a CTG & ultrasound (U/S) scan on Tue and CTG scan shows some "problem" with my angel but was told that U/S could not detect. Was told to return next day (Wed) to repeat procedure and same result appeared on the CTG, however was told that baby could have been breech, probably could be due to umbilical cord but can't tell from the U/S scan as cannot see from scan, was told to return to clinic next day (Thu) to repeat the procedure again. But next day never come, angel Gabriel can't wait any longer and left me quietly on Wednesday night, realised when I went back to clinic for the CTG and Ultrasound scan on Thursday morning when his heartbeat could not be detected at the CTG test. I was devastated! If only something have been done on Wed, even if C section is needed, at least he have a chance to survive. Even till now, I can't get over what that had happened..
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The pain of loosing one's angel is truly unbearable. Ladies, Be strong, tml will be a better day!!let's cheer each another! Kam Pa Tei!
 
Rony_Ivey,
Do try to leave out the ifs in surviving through this trauma. Simlar as you. At week 35 of my pregnancy, I was instructed by my Gynae's brother to go fro CTG and ultra sound scan at Thomson Medical. And was told baby is in breech position. I remembered that day was 20/06/2006..... Being so afraid of C-sect and being so stubborn, I held out. Refusing to go to the hospital as instructed. Insisting to wait till my Gynae come back from his holiday on the 22/06/2006. When he was back, there's still heartbeat and Gynae told me that baby is alright. But it was already very obvious to me. Baby isn't active. He doesn't have the kicks, the punches.... just movements. The last kick I received was on the early morning of 4th July, 2006. It boost my confidence so much, but to be pushed off from heaven. Cos it never did occurred to me that it was a goodbye from my angel.

Same as you, I had given myself lots of ifs. If I had listened to my Gynae's brother. If only I have gone to the hospital. If only I am willing to go through C-sect. If only.... but all these are not going to bring him back. He's still gone.

The least you have of your darling, is a photo. I was denied the chance even to have a glance at him, for my hubby instructed for the baby to be brought away, from me. I don't even know how he looks like.

Stay strong Rony...... Take care
 
Hi Angeline,

Thanks for sharing with me your experience and the encouraging words.

I am trying to get over but its really difficult, having sleepless nights, loss of appetite esp when looking at his innocent face in the photos, can't help shedding tears. Can't help thinking "if only I can turn back time".

I am glad that my hubby is very supportive, standing by my side. Although with words from families and friends telling me to "try again next time" but I am really worried, I worry this may struck a second time. But I know I have to get over this, be strong and try again. I am really trying hard to start afresh now...but..guess, I just need more time.

Memories of Baby Gabriel will always be in my heart...

Thanks Angeline.. U take care too!!
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Hi Rony_Ivery,
When someone said the words to us, 'Don't worry, you are still young, you can try again next time.', to them, it's meant to be comforting. But to us, it's very insensitive. Cos, it's like just another life lost to them, but it's not their flesh and blood whom had died in them. We felt the failure the most. We felt we had not protected our baby well enough, thus causing them to leave us that way!

Lightning will or will not struck at the same place, the second time? Try not to put it in your mind. You know? I also thought I needed more time to get over the death of my angel. But a miracle happened to me. Despite placing an IUD in me to prevent pregnancy after I lost my angel, partly for me to rest, partly for me to build up my health again, I got pregnant again, almost 3 mths after the demise of my angel. And I am currently almost due. EDD of this angel, happened to be the still-birth date of my baby. Like how you are feeling now, I was fill with worries.... filled with changing emotions. Sometimes when this baby isn't moving, I will be shedding tears and demanding my hubby to bring me to Gynae straight. The trauma will never be gone. To stand up strong again, will need lots and lots of courage. I can say, I still am very weak.

Due to the impending birth.... I'm suffering again. Sleepless nights. Constantly monitoring his move. Constantly talking to him, telling him to be good. And always on my toes. Be prepared for everything! It's tiring, but I have to do it.

Baby Gabriel will always be up there, watching over you.

For me, I'm playing a waiting game now. Will my baby Anson come back to me? Cos I told my hubby... if baby is born 4th July, 2007. Baby Anson is back. Lord had returned him to me. Cos he'd nursed him back to health. I'll wait and see......
 
Hi Angeline,

You are a strong lady...God bless u!

U r right, but I can't help blaming myself for what happened.."Is it because I walked too much?" "Is it due to too much spicy food that I ate?", "Is it because I worked too hard, always going home late, resulting in not enuf rest?" but most of all, I still thinking "If only doc instructed my admission into the hospital that very day, things could have been different".

I can understand how u feel, for me, I m also trying to recuperate, currently in 1st week of confinment, also planning to have another baby, 3 months later but deep in my heart, also feels very worrying..

I can understand hw u feel now. If i were u, I am sure I will be the same, constantly monitoring baby's movement, demanding my hubby to bring me to Gynae if movement is less..etc.. Your hubby will understand..
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Not sure if we r able to purchase those "Fetal heartbeat Monitoring devices" so that we can monitor at home, ourselves!!

Importantly now is to take good care of your health! I will be here praying for u! Cheers!!
 
Dear Angeline and Rony,

You both ladies are strong.. and i want to tell you that if you both need to talk or just need some company, just let me know okie? Rony, my son is also named Gabriel
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and i know that both our little Gabriels are in heaven and being taken care by angels.

I have just received the report that Gabriel passing away was classified as SIDS. I can't help but ask myself if he would be here with his daddy and mummy now if only i took better care of him, if i didn't let him take that nap in the afternoon. But i know that thinking of all these will not help bring him back.

Angeline, stay strong for your baby k? I am sure that baby Anson will be all that you wish for and he will bring you all the joy in the world. You must remember to rest well k? you are going to need all the energy to take care of anson.

Rony - Feel free to PM me or write if you want k? hugs to you..

love
steph
 
Hi Steph / Angeline,

Yes, our little angle Gabriels will be well taken care of. Let's pray for them..
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With their departure, expectations , hopes and dreams are cruelly shattered...Right now, we just have to look forward and let the past be an experience to be mindful of in future..

We will never forget our angels, but we will heal. Healing is an ongoing process; it does not happen overnight. But it will happen. We will think of them in our heart...
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And yes, to Angeline, be strong and have plentiful of rest and take good care..
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Hi all mummies...

how was ur weekend??

Especially to mummy Angel, how are u and baby Ashlyn? Sending hugs and prayers to you both. Stay strong okie?

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steph
 
Dear Adriana

I finally had the chance to read your angel Jordan's story and I teared
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I too wish we can all be spared the pain and grief of seeing our babies pass on right before our eyes but this is an imperfect world, filled with sad news and heartbreaks...you've been so so strong to pick urself up for the other 2 tots -Charlotte and Justin...and are you attending CBS regularly? Can try to encourage some of the other mummies here to attend the monthly meetings too - I attended twice when I lost baby Nat 3 years ago...

Dear Rony and Angeline, {{hugs}} to you both. I feel sad to know that there are so many mummies out there who like me have to say goodbye to our babies before we even have the chance to cuddle, hug, play with them or see them grow. You're right, to some of our well-meaning friends and relatives, our babies have become a distant memory (to be blotched out) but we'll never allow that to happen...A life conceived is a human being, no matter how brief the conception is and our babies will always stay close to us in a very special place near our beating hearts...If it helps, try getting the 2 books I recommended to the mummies earlier - esp. the journal...I find it's a tangible and meaningful way for both you and your hubbies to remember your darlings in heaven...

Dear Steph, Curl, kkf, Estbaby, Chloe, Patsy and all, I'm entering into my 24week gestation tomorrow (Thank God) but last Friday evening, we had a major scare. At around midnight, I started experiencing sharp contractions pain, I was scared stiff and didn't dare to tell anymore (including my hubby who was sleeping on the floor next to my hospital bed). By 12.30am, the pain was still there and I had no choice but to inform the nurse. They immediately notified the docs and rushed me down to the Delivery Suite. Deep inside, I was numb with worries - I kept telling myself 'No, this isn't IT - Ashley can't be born now, she'll be too premature to survive' and I kept praying to God to stop my contractions. At the labour ward, the nurses and docs strapped me to all sorts of monitors and gave me some drugs to stave off the contractions...My hubby held my hands the entire night and we just prayed silently, fearing the worst. Thankfully, by 8am the next morning, my contractions had subsided and I was wheeled back to the normal ward for observation. It was a huge relief but Dr Kwek came to see us both on Sat and Sun and reminded us that mine is still a high-risk pregnancy and all parties must not be complacent. He told us that if Ashley were to be born btw 24-25weeks, she'll only have BORDERLINE VIABILITY (survival rate of only 40-50%, with risks of many major complications). But if Ashley can hang on past 28 weeks, then her survival rate doubles to 80-90%. So mummies, here I am, back in the waiting game...taking more precautions to ensure this time round, I do not leave the hospital with empty arms and a broken heart...

Please continue to pray and accompany me in this journey. Hugs and thanks.
 
Hi Angel, I will definitely continue to pray for you!! hang in there, ok? am praying Ashley will only come out on the 40th week hearty and strong!!

to all the other mummies here.. stay strong ok?
 
Hi Angel,

As what Pasty said, we will definately be here supporting and praying for u! U r a strong and positive lady, God bless u!!
 
Hi! Sorry havent been writing as I am busy at work these days.

Angel -keep hangin in there! We will keep supporting you here until your Ashley is born safe and sound! you will have a baby to bring home.

Roiv - take care, time will heal. Dun blame yourself for the "ifs", we questioned ourselves when it happens. I cried every nite during my 1 mth of confinement. Maybe you can try to ask your hubby to buy the book Angel recommend, it's good consolation to heal broken hearts knowing that our angel is in a place well taken care of. as for TTC, only do it when you think you are ready.

Angeline - Congrats! take great care of yourself, dun hesitate to ask your gynae about anything just to make yourself at ease. I would be in your same shoes when I am pregnant again in the future...
 
Hi to all the ladies here, just want to let you gals know i really really feel sorry for your losses and you gals have shown tremendous courage and strength. i, too have a loss but it was an early mc at 6weeks,nothing significant compared to what you gals had went thru. i feel for you all and hope that each and everyone of you here to continue staying strong and may everyone here be blessed with a healthy bb soon.

angel, i'm rooting for you and bb Ashley!!! you are a brave brave mommy. keep us updated.

patsy, you may not know me but i've followed the thread on Sabie before and i'm from the Mar mommy 06 thread. Sabie is a sweet sweet angel and she has touched my hearts and many others and i believe she's in heaven now watching over you and your family. i admired you for being so strong after what you went thru. keep the strength going and may god bless you with a healthy bb soon.

dear Adriana, i read up on your angel and it brought tears to my eye. it sad to know such a cute bb departed. i'm not good with words and i know no amt of words can take away your pain. but you have desmontrate great strength and i'm sure you will continue to do so. take care.
 
Harlo, mummies,
Just got an update from Angel :

She would be going for a cervical length and amnio fluid scan later. The steriod jab to strengthen bb's lungs is to be given only 48 hrs before delivery. If not, effects may wear off should baby remains in womb.

She wun be transferring to the obsterics ward but staying put. A neo nataologist wld speak to her soon and i hope that Ashley can remain as long as possible in mummy's womb..

So lets put our hearts together and root for Angel and Ashley....
 
Steph,
No pblem..i hope she will hold up and continue to perservere on...even tho' the going may be tough...

read yr story and hope that you wld be strong and thanks for your prayers.....

will update all again when angel texts me...
 
Hi etsbaby (etsbaby),

Thanks for your encouragement and YES, I will be asking my hubby to get the books for me (Thanks Angel for the recommendation).

As for TTC, much as I would want to badly within the next feel months but to be frank, I m not ready and I do not know when I would be ready. Every night, whatever that had happened just flash in my mind, just can't get over it.

Btw, do u guys have any recommendatation for good female gynae in either KK or TMC?

For Angel and Ashley & other mummies that are expecting - Kam Pa Tei!! Jia You!!
We are all here cheering u on!!
 
Hi Angel, and Missy, thanks for your kind words. Angel, yes I am still involve with CBS as I am one of the committee members. I might have met u 3 years ago, that was when CBS first started.

I am here with open arms to all mummies who need to talk. If have no courage to attend any of the support meetings, PM me, we can chat thru net or phone. I have since made lots of new firm friends and am continuing to lend support to mummies who have lost their angels.

So, to all mummies here,
YOU ARE THE GREATEST
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Hi Angel

The doctors are absolutely right. If you can hang on a while longer, it will be good. Everyday counts during this period. Just hang it there.

You have done really well so far. And also, inform nurses once you have contractions. Dont wait ok? The best is to stop contractions as soon as possible.
 
Hi angel

hmm... 1 more hour to go and baby ashley will be 24 weeks old! Wow wow! What a great achievement, baby ashley is a strong fighter!
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Hang on there!
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hey, curl is right leh. u should immediately inform the nurses and drs when u experience contractions. Very impt, so dun take chance hor. Please also dun exert any force when u are passing motion, just take ur time and let the motion comes.
 
Hi angel

Busy attending a stressful course, but still following your thread. Hang in there! Jia you! Baby ashley jia you too!

When you experience contractions, must say!!! Last time I had contractions, also tried to bear with it, but when they tried to stop it, too late. So must inform the nurse when you had contractions. But hope no more!
 
Hi Angel,

Jia you jia you to u!!! Just want to add a note of encouragement, usually premature baby girls fare better than boys. SO I would say Ashley would be a fighter!!! Continue to sing and talk to her to guai guai stay in mummies womb until full term.
 
Dear mummies

thank you for leaving me your kind thoughts and regards even though I cannot post so often these past few days. So much has happened - Friday midnight, went into contractions, sent to Delivery Suite but thankfully, the pain subsided and baby Ashley's was obedient to still stay inside. Yesterday went for scan at 4pm, showed that my cervical length has shortened and so Dr Loh ordered for me to start my steroid jabs 1st dose was at 6.30pm - I knew it's going to be unpleasant but boy, it was even more stinging than all the IVF jabs put together. The moment the steroids entered my bloodstream, all the blood vessels and veins in my thighs went into involuntary convulsion and the pain only subsided about 30mins later... but like what Costa advised - just grit my teeth and 'loon'...I tell myself - the more pain and jabs I take now, the less bb Ashley has to suffer in future...that very thought gives me strength to go through...anyway, y'day morning I had blood test too (twice a week) and it never fails to leave a large bruise on my arms...all these 'battle scars' for bearing a child!

This morning, as I was reading your posts, the neo-natologist Dr Agarwal (an Indian lady) came to talk to me ant all the complications that Ashley may face should she 'pop' btw now and before 28 weeks - all horror stories lah - listening to her nearly made me tear! Most eminent threats are undeveloped lungs, brain haemorrage, collapse of heart, liver/gut/intestine rupture etc. And also celebral palsy and low IQ...she also said once the baby's born, I won't be able to cuddle her as she has to be immediately resusitated (our instruction to the docs - to save her at all costs)...she has to be intubated and put on ventilator and IV drips etc. The mere thought of all the medical interventions she has to endure just make my heart ache..Why can other mummies have smooth-sailing pegnancies but not me? Why must I be called to suffer the pain of losing 2 stillborns and still risk seeing my 3rd (and possibly my last) baby suffer? If only God would spare us me agonising journey to Motherhood...I just want to be a mummy, is that too much to ask?
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mummies, it's so difficult to keep your hopes up when everything at this stage is still so unpredictable...Still, to have made it to the start of week24 is a victory in itself already and I'm so thankful to feel Ashley move inside me everyday...looks like I'll be hospitalised here at KKH till Ashley's delivered so keep your posts coming ya? Hugs and thanks. May all of you keep well too.
 
hi angel, thank you for the book, i will read it over the weekend. please please stay strong and in good spirits, Ashley will rub off your optimism and be happy inside you too!!!

God has His purpose in everything that happens in this world. i too have questioned him sometimes why He had to take Sabie... but He will reveal his purpose to us in His time. AS His children we can only rejoice in the knowledge that God is in control and nothing happens randomly. Take comfort in His promise that all things will work together for those who love Him. OK?

Anytime you need to talk just sms me. I will try to visit you again soon, maybe next week when hb goes overseas again!

I will continue to pray for all the other mummies here... may God grant you peace and grant you your hearts desire!
 
Hi Angel,

I have been following your post, but really don't know what I can say to you. Pls rest more. Eat more tonic. Ashley will be ok. Be strong to endure the jabs and pains. Will pray for both of you.

Sigh. Life is never smooth sailing. God will have his plan. Trust in Him.

Jia You!
 
Hi Angel,

I know that u are feeling very confused and scared right now after the neo-natologist spoke to u.

I was scared and confused too. I was to make a decision at that time if to keep my son or to give him up. It was a really difficult decision to make as I was afraid that he might have some complications and disabilities in life later on.

But I still decided to have an cerclage done and keep my son.

It was really stressful at that time. It was a roller coaster feeling when he was in NICU.

Meet alot of mummies there and we usually tried to give each other supports. We still meet up with each other till now and keep our bb update to each others.

when my son was in NICU, most of the BB is able to return home healty.

If you have the time, go to read up the thread on "support of premature bb" in these forum.

My son was born at 25 wks gestation, weighting only 775grams. He was alright mentally and phyically like any normal child. He was just abit weak and will fall sick easily.

Do not give up hope and faith. U must have faith with Ashley that she is going to be a healthy bb.
 
Miss_my_angel (roiv)- you can try Dr Eunice Chua of TLC Gynaecology 3rd Flr of TMC. I dont see her personally but heard from friends and colleague that she is very nice.

Angel - my heart is with you when I see your latest update, it just hurts knowing that as I have went thru that before. The neo-natologist is telling you the "what-ifs". Be brave, face up to it and look forward, you won't know until Ashley is born. Dun think about the "what-ifs" now. Do not give up hope until the very last moment! all is not lost yet!! I would actually like to visit you but scared that I will get emotional and cry when I see you so better not.
 
Angel

I know it is tough. All the questions you had in your mind are exactly what I had too. The neo natal specialist hae to share all the hard facts with us. It is truely v painful, but looking at the miracle you have achieved, I think you & Ashley will do very very well.

Lots of mummies here have pre mature babies to share & help you.

Hang on Angel, hang on.
 
To Steph, Patsy, Rony, Angeline, Estbaby and all mummies who've loved and lost,

Was surfing some sites and found this poem which I'm copying here as a simple way of encouraging us...May you be blessed somehow by the poet's words.

A Child of God

Ill lend you, for a little time,
a child of Mine, He said.
For you to love the while he lives,
And mourn him when hes dead.

It may be six or seven years or two or three,
but will you, til I call her back, take care of him for Me?
Hell bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief -
youll have his precious memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay - since all from earth must return,
But there are lessons taught down there, I want this child to learn.

Ive looked the wide world over in search of teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd lifes lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me, when I come to call
To take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say
Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joys thy child shall ring,
The risk of grief well run.
Well shelter him with tenderness,
Well love him while we may,
And for the happiness weve known,
Forever grateful stay.

But should the Angels call for him much sooner than weve planned,
Well brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand.

Life isn't a matter of milestones but of moments. Rose Kennedy
 
hi angel, a friend had sent that poem to me after sabie past away, it's very meaningful, isn't it?

i'll try to pop by on thursday, coz it's a holiday, ok? anything you want me to bring?
 
Dear Angel...
Sigh...sigh...sigh....
anyway my colleague's friend emailed ur posts to her and she showed me...tat's how i found u here.

ashley stayed in you for about 42 days since Joash left us ...let's pray she can stay another 42 days...if not 25 more days.
I'll be doing the counting and praying...I'll come by soon.
Poor thing have to lie down all the time.
Your back aching?
 
That's a meaningful peom indeed. We have given our lost child the best gift of all isnt it? We have given them the best love of all - Mother's love

Angel - How are you and Ashley today??
 
Hi Angel, i have been following this thread closely waiting to hear good updates about your and Ashley everytime. I never post cos i dont know what to say. I am not even a mummy yet so i know i am not in any position to say anything either. But just want to encourage you, to stay postive and grit on ok? It will be over soon. It will all be worthwile when you finally carry Ashley in your arms. Be strong gal!
 
Angel
have been reading ur posts and all the mommies posts here quietly but today i just feel that i gotta write something.

u r truly a v strong woman! i cant imagine how its like for u lying in bed the whole day and always so anxious thinking what the day may bring for u. its really not easy and u r always in my prayers. surely baby ashley can feel ur love for her and all the sacrifices u r making. both of u hang it there ok! it may seem like eternity having to be on CRIB but the Lord will grant u the strength and may u find peace and joy even when u r lying down on bed waiting for the days to pass by when baby ashley can see the world safely. Hang it there ok! we r all rooting for u!

i lost my baby too to a congenital heart condition when he was 7 wks old. no amt of words can describe the pain of losing our child isnt it? it was thru this that i gotta know adriana who has been such a support to me during my most depressed moments.

to all the mommies here who has lost their babies thru one way or another, take comfort that our babies r now happy and safe in heaven and that we will see them again one day. A mother will do anything just to keep her baby safe. A mommy's love is indeed deeper than the ocean and higher than the mountains.
 

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