miracle_bb
Member
I'm going to the gym later to beat the fear and mental stress out of me, anyone wants to join me?
Support Group - Stillbirths
- Thread starter miracle_bb
- Start date
java!! how is your son? hope is is better... so difficult for us mummies, every small cut we feel the pain hor?
steph and all the other mummies who are trying, have faith and continue to keep positive. No one other than us who have lost a baby will understand the pain and the anguish, but at the same time, we who empathize are the ones who can also offer the comfort.
we are all here together to encourage and support.
steph and all the other mummies who are trying, have faith and continue to keep positive. No one other than us who have lost a baby will understand the pain and the anguish, but at the same time, we who empathize are the ones who can also offer the comfort.
we are all here together to encourage and support.
Hello mummies,
It is really nice to get to know you people here although it may not be the thread I hope, many people has to come to...
Etsbaby and Steph,
It is not easy to move on and like many previous post here, it is easy for other people to say, "never mind lor, try again!", "dun worry, your baby will come back to you", "the baby is not good so will auto reject by your body".... no matter what, whether is right or wrong, it's their intention to make us move on in life... Like Miss_my_angel, I admired her courage; do go take pro-active steps to build up your body, go for health checks, be it seeing different gynae or stick to your present ones; although the future holds no promise or guarantee, at least we shouldn't stop trying...
kkf, java and many mummies who had successful conceive after stillbirth,
I am sure that our perception of life also changes and we are more practical in terms of our objectives and goals of parenting... ultimately, we just wants to have a healthy child!
It is really nice to get to know you people here although it may not be the thread I hope, many people has to come to...
Etsbaby and Steph,
It is not easy to move on and like many previous post here, it is easy for other people to say, "never mind lor, try again!", "dun worry, your baby will come back to you", "the baby is not good so will auto reject by your body".... no matter what, whether is right or wrong, it's their intention to make us move on in life... Like Miss_my_angel, I admired her courage; do go take pro-active steps to build up your body, go for health checks, be it seeing different gynae or stick to your present ones; although the future holds no promise or guarantee, at least we shouldn't stop trying...
kkf, java and many mummies who had successful conceive after stillbirth,
I am sure that our perception of life also changes and we are more practical in terms of our objectives and goals of parenting... ultimately, we just wants to have a healthy child!
superbunny
New Member
hi!!
Java - what a healthy way of taking out the stress!! which gym do u go to?? i must admit that i am not a gym person but i certainly do admire those who can
How true "ultimately, we just want to have a healthy child"!! i certainly think that when my next bundle of joy comes along, i will cherish everyday with him or her ..maybe even staying at home to look after baby.
I have been actively reading about SIDs and sadly it really cannot be prevented. I guess we just have to have faith and believe that God will deliver.
To all who are trying.. Hugs and Hugs
We can do it!
cheers
steph
Java - what a healthy way of taking out the stress!! which gym do u go to?? i must admit that i am not a gym person but i certainly do admire those who can
How true "ultimately, we just want to have a healthy child"!! i certainly think that when my next bundle of joy comes along, i will cherish everyday with him or her ..maybe even staying at home to look after baby.
I have been actively reading about SIDs and sadly it really cannot be prevented. I guess we just have to have faith and believe that God will deliver.
To all who are trying.. Hugs and Hugs
cheers
steph
superbunny
New Member
hi!!
Java - what a healthy way of taking out the stress!! which gym do u go to?? i must admit that i am not a gym person but i certainly do admire those who can
How true "ultimately, we just want to have a healthy child"!! i certainly think that when my next bundle of joy comes along, i will cherish everyday with him or her ..maybe even staying at home to look after baby.
I have been actively reading about SIDs and sadly it really cannot be prevented. I guess we just have to have faith and believe that God will deliver.
To all who are trying.. Hugs and Hugs
We can do it!
cheers
steph
Java - what a healthy way of taking out the stress!! which gym do u go to?? i must admit that i am not a gym person but i certainly do admire those who can
How true "ultimately, we just want to have a healthy child"!! i certainly think that when my next bundle of joy comes along, i will cherish everyday with him or her ..maybe even staying at home to look after baby.
I have been actively reading about SIDs and sadly it really cannot be prevented. I guess we just have to have faith and believe that God will deliver.
To all who are trying.. Hugs and Hugs
cheers
steph
Hello everyone,
Thank you for all your response. It is really encouraging to hear words from you all who are in the same boat or some even far more worst and sorrowful than me.
The stillbirth was my 2nd pregnancy and I have an eldest son who is 4 yrs old this year. I have wanted another playmate for him as I see him playing alone. Never would have expect that my 2nd preg was never the same as my 1st preg. I was just the ignorant mum to be with anticipation and excitement in my 1st preg. Yet in my 2nd preg, I was the sorrowful and sad mum to be who struggled to lived by the day as I sense my baby dying away. I didn't have a post mortem done for my baby girl as I just want her to go in peace and in 1 pce. She is deformed on her back due to the cyst and we didnt have the heart to carry her. she could'nt even wear the clothes that I bot for her to send her off. I will never forget her last look which was peaceful. Why and who causes it? I tried to pose that question but it will never be answered and no point pondering over it. I tried not to think about her but there is always a "reminder" where ppl will ask oh you gave birth? boy or girl? or ask my son where is your meimei or didi? and I have to tell them in a soft tone that I lost the baby, they will just say how sorry they are and we can always try again. stillbirth is different from miscarriage, ppl can tell when you re pregnant, there is no hush hush. I still hate to look at pregnant woman but the hate is getting lesser. Sometimes, I just feel the stress right up till my neck.
My biological clock is ticking as I am already going to be mid 30s soon. There are thots where I had wanted to be just contented with my eldest son and he will be my only child. Maybe I just needed a little more time or maybe there will never be a time where I will be ready. My hubby had said to wait 6 mths after the stillborn to try again so we'll see how it goes.
Although never easy, we have to learn to accept the fact and move on for the sake of our living loved ones. I am going for a short holiday with hubby and son next week just to take a breather.
Thank you for all your response. It is really encouraging to hear words from you all who are in the same boat or some even far more worst and sorrowful than me.
The stillbirth was my 2nd pregnancy and I have an eldest son who is 4 yrs old this year. I have wanted another playmate for him as I see him playing alone. Never would have expect that my 2nd preg was never the same as my 1st preg. I was just the ignorant mum to be with anticipation and excitement in my 1st preg. Yet in my 2nd preg, I was the sorrowful and sad mum to be who struggled to lived by the day as I sense my baby dying away. I didn't have a post mortem done for my baby girl as I just want her to go in peace and in 1 pce. She is deformed on her back due to the cyst and we didnt have the heart to carry her. she could'nt even wear the clothes that I bot for her to send her off. I will never forget her last look which was peaceful. Why and who causes it? I tried to pose that question but it will never be answered and no point pondering over it. I tried not to think about her but there is always a "reminder" where ppl will ask oh you gave birth? boy or girl? or ask my son where is your meimei or didi? and I have to tell them in a soft tone that I lost the baby, they will just say how sorry they are and we can always try again. stillbirth is different from miscarriage, ppl can tell when you re pregnant, there is no hush hush. I still hate to look at pregnant woman but the hate is getting lesser. Sometimes, I just feel the stress right up till my neck.
My biological clock is ticking as I am already going to be mid 30s soon. There are thots where I had wanted to be just contented with my eldest son and he will be my only child. Maybe I just needed a little more time or maybe there will never be a time where I will be ready. My hubby had said to wait 6 mths after the stillborn to try again so we'll see how it goes.
Although never easy, we have to learn to accept the fact and move on for the sake of our living loved ones. I am going for a short holiday with hubby and son next week just to take a breather.
Hi Mummies,
I am still missing my little angel. Even place his photo as wallpaper store in my handphone despite my in-laws telling me not to..Every night is a sleepless night for me, feel like asking doctor to prescribe me some sleeping pills. I just went for my blood test today, result out in 1 to 2 weeks time. Hate blood test done by doctors, very very painful.
I went to a gynae, located in my neighborhood JUST for advice and opinion (Am thinking of engaging a better one if I am really expecting). I told him that I am worry for my next pregnancy and is there anything I can do to prevent such as additional test or scan etc... To my dismay, he told me that "it won't be so "SWAY for stillbirth to struck twice, it's like striking 1st prize TOTO, unlikely! But of cos provided I am medically ok". Alamak, this I also know how to say. I told him "You are not in my shoe, you won't understand how I feel"!! Waste my $35!!
Hi etsbaby,
That's great!! Go for holiday and relax your mind... Where will you be going? Me too, be going hoilday with my husband and son for short hoilday in Phuket. I appreciate what my hubby is trying to do for me.
Lots of Cheers,
Roiv
I am still missing my little angel. Even place his photo as wallpaper store in my handphone despite my in-laws telling me not to..Every night is a sleepless night for me, feel like asking doctor to prescribe me some sleeping pills. I just went for my blood test today, result out in 1 to 2 weeks time. Hate blood test done by doctors, very very painful.
I went to a gynae, located in my neighborhood JUST for advice and opinion (Am thinking of engaging a better one if I am really expecting). I told him that I am worry for my next pregnancy and is there anything I can do to prevent such as additional test or scan etc... To my dismay, he told me that "it won't be so "SWAY for stillbirth to struck twice, it's like striking 1st prize TOTO, unlikely! But of cos provided I am medically ok". Alamak, this I also know how to say. I told him "You are not in my shoe, you won't understand how I feel"!! Waste my $35!!
Hi etsbaby,
That's great!! Go for holiday and relax your mind... Where will you be going? Me too, be going hoilday with my husband and son for short hoilday in Phuket. I appreciate what my hubby is trying to do for me.
Lots of Cheers,
Roiv
miracle_bb
Member
hi Patsy,
Thanks for asking, my son is alright now. Can even point to me the finger which is wrapped with plaster when I say "ka ka where?"
Hi miss_my_angel,
Take it easy. Your loss is still very fresh. If you have trouble sleeping, no harm asking a doctor to prescribe you sleeping pills. To tell you frankly, I took sleeping pills for almost a month. Becos of my preg past, until now I still suffer from insomnia now and then. But instead of sleeping pills, I'm taking Anarex, a muscle relaxant to help me sleep better. I'm trying to resort to alternative ways to help me sleep too.
aiyoh, I really hate doctors who tell me stillbirth doesn't strike twice! Look what happen to me, but I never strike Toto 1st prize leh. Its a good idea to go for holiday, I went to Perth that time after my stillbirth.
Thanks for asking, my son is alright now. Can even point to me the finger which is wrapped with plaster when I say "ka ka where?"
Hi miss_my_angel,
Take it easy. Your loss is still very fresh. If you have trouble sleeping, no harm asking a doctor to prescribe you sleeping pills. To tell you frankly, I took sleeping pills for almost a month. Becos of my preg past, until now I still suffer from insomnia now and then. But instead of sleeping pills, I'm taking Anarex, a muscle relaxant to help me sleep better. I'm trying to resort to alternative ways to help me sleep too.
aiyoh, I really hate doctors who tell me stillbirth doesn't strike twice! Look what happen to me, but I never strike Toto 1st prize leh. Its a good idea to go for holiday, I went to Perth that time after my stillbirth.
superbunny
New Member
Hi everyone..
Just back from lunch and on my way into another meeting.
I didn't have much difficulty sleeping even though there were nights when i would breakdown and cry. Somehow, i get teary especially at nights when its about time when i would normally put Gabriel to bed.
Luckily, massage sessions has helped a bit. My confinement lady also does normal massages so she has really been very good for me. Normally after a session, i am so relax that i just knock off! Roiv, you might want to give it a try especially since u are doing a mini confinement now.
Okies, off to the meeting now..zzzzz
Just back from lunch and on my way into another meeting.
I didn't have much difficulty sleeping even though there were nights when i would breakdown and cry. Somehow, i get teary especially at nights when its about time when i would normally put Gabriel to bed.
Luckily, massage sessions has helped a bit. My confinement lady also does normal massages so she has really been very good for me. Normally after a session, i am so relax that i just knock off! Roiv, you might want to give it a try especially since u are doing a mini confinement now.
Okies, off to the meeting now..zzzzz
destitonia
Member
hi roiv,
its very easy for doctors and many others to say insensitive things without thinking about it much. I was very pissed with my colleagues when they tell me "nvm, you still young, can try again" even more pissed when those tell me "nvm, i also mc before" stillbirth and mc during first 8 weeks is sooo different. but when i eventually cool down, i think, they are saying things with good intention..with that i think feel less irritated.
comicstar,
were we ever in the same thread before? found you familiar..
Steph,
tell me about it..now my son is almost 4mths old, everyday i worry about this and that..SIDS lah, pneomococal lah, virus lah, and so on..i'm so paranoid that sometimes when he's fast asleep, deep asleep at night, i will go to him and just check he's breathing..but i guess you are right, leave things to God..
vanessa,
you are right, my perception of so many things have changed. The key motto for me now is to treasure whatever you have, don't leave room for any regrets.
its very easy for doctors and many others to say insensitive things without thinking about it much. I was very pissed with my colleagues when they tell me "nvm, you still young, can try again" even more pissed when those tell me "nvm, i also mc before" stillbirth and mc during first 8 weeks is sooo different. but when i eventually cool down, i think, they are saying things with good intention..with that i think feel less irritated.
comicstar,
were we ever in the same thread before? found you familiar..
Steph,
tell me about it..now my son is almost 4mths old, everyday i worry about this and that..SIDS lah, pneomococal lah, virus lah, and so on..i'm so paranoid that sometimes when he's fast asleep, deep asleep at night, i will go to him and just check he's breathing..but i guess you are right, leave things to God..
vanessa,
you are right, my perception of so many things have changed. The key motto for me now is to treasure whatever you have, don't leave room for any regrets.
miracle_bb
Member
Hi destitonia,
I think I ever PM you before to ask if you are Jacqueline's friend. I'm so happy to hear that you have a 4 month old baby boy now.
On the issue of SIDS, when aaron came back from NICU, I bought this Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor. It will detect any periods of lack of breathing from the baby.
I think I ever PM you before to ask if you are Jacqueline's friend. I'm so happy to hear that you have a 4 month old baby boy now.
On the issue of SIDS, when aaron came back from NICU, I bought this Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor. It will detect any periods of lack of breathing from the baby.
Hi! mummies,
I also couldnt stand it when ppl just take it as a piece of cake when they say all those things. But then as they wont really know it that it hurts unlike us who have experience it before. The 1st nite after my stillbirth, the nurse and my hubby persuaded me to take sleeping pills. then when I got home, I stop taking the sleeping pills and couldnt sleep for 1 whole mth during my confinement, everyday I cried myself to sleep till early morning then finally fall asleep. I had panda eyes.
I think massage do help to relax also, at least release the tension. I recently started to go back to going for yoga lessons again just to keep my mind clear.
roiv - I am going for 3d2n to KL Sunway Lagoon.
I also couldnt stand it when ppl just take it as a piece of cake when they say all those things. But then as they wont really know it that it hurts unlike us who have experience it before. The 1st nite after my stillbirth, the nurse and my hubby persuaded me to take sleeping pills. then when I got home, I stop taking the sleeping pills and couldnt sleep for 1 whole mth during my confinement, everyday I cried myself to sleep till early morning then finally fall asleep. I had panda eyes.
I think massage do help to relax also, at least release the tension. I recently started to go back to going for yoga lessons again just to keep my mind clear.
roiv - I am going for 3d2n to KL Sunway Lagoon.
superbunny
New Member
Hi
Back from the meeting.. it was so long!
On the Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor - Java, i heard very good reviews about it and am seriously considering getting one. I recently saw it being solded at Robinsons. Where did u get yours and how is your experience with it? Thanks!
Destitonia - i learnt this from one of the US forums on how to check baby's breathing. Can just tickle his foot - its enough to get them to have a movement but not strong enough to wake them. Worth a try
Meanwhile, its the end of the day in the office for me soon. This weekend is Father's Day and i am bringing my hubby and dad out for dinner. I try not to forget that he too is grieving and wanted to make special for him too.
Back from the meeting.. it was so long!
On the Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor - Java, i heard very good reviews about it and am seriously considering getting one. I recently saw it being solded at Robinsons. Where did u get yours and how is your experience with it? Thanks!
Destitonia - i learnt this from one of the US forums on how to check baby's breathing. Can just tickle his foot - its enough to get them to have a movement but not strong enough to wake them. Worth a try
Meanwhile, its the end of the day in the office for me soon. This weekend is Father's Day and i am bringing my hubby and dad out for dinner. I try not to forget that he too is grieving and wanted to make special for him too.
Hi Mummies,
Will be returning back to work end of this month. What makes me fear most is how to reply to others if they were to ask (Not many know). During my confinement, I have gotten telephone calls from concern colleagues and friends, not knowing about my situation they will straight away ask "Hey, you gave birth already ah"?, at that point, I seriously dunno how to reply and when I told them what happened, awkward silence follow suits.
Like destitonia said, sometimes for those who do not understand our situation, they might accidentally say insensitive things. But they might be saying or asking out of concern, for good intention..
Thanks Steph for the recommendation for massage (Which frankly have not tried message before), will definitely give it a try in Phuket..
Hi Java,
Relieve to know that your boy is ok now, from your description, I can imagine the look on his face when he point the finger which is wrapped with plaster to u..Soooo cute!!
Hi etsbaby,
Sunway Lagoon is good place for relaxation. Enjoy yourself and have fun ya..
Also, Wonder how is Angel now. Any updates anyone?
Will be returning back to work end of this month. What makes me fear most is how to reply to others if they were to ask (Not many know). During my confinement, I have gotten telephone calls from concern colleagues and friends, not knowing about my situation they will straight away ask "Hey, you gave birth already ah"?, at that point, I seriously dunno how to reply and when I told them what happened, awkward silence follow suits.
Like destitonia said, sometimes for those who do not understand our situation, they might accidentally say insensitive things. But they might be saying or asking out of concern, for good intention..
Thanks Steph for the recommendation for massage (Which frankly have not tried message before), will definitely give it a try in Phuket..
Hi Java,
Relieve to know that your boy is ok now, from your description, I can imagine the look on his face when he point the finger which is wrapped with plaster to u..Soooo cute!!
Hi etsbaby,
Sunway Lagoon is good place for relaxation. Enjoy yourself and have fun ya..
Also, Wonder how is Angel now. Any updates anyone?
destitonia
Member
hi comicstar,
glad that you have a 17mth old boy also. can i check with you, the Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor that you mentioned, do you find it useful? i briefly read some reviews dunno whether it will be useful. my son sleeps in the same room as me..u still remember how much you bought it for?
roiv,
i know what you mean. When i went back to work, one of my closer but blur colleague ask me, er, yr 3 mths maternity finish ar? faint.. then another ask, your baby boy or girl..double faint..i think will definitely face this kind of circumstances..i came to the point where i can just tell them "I lost my first baby". It became their turn to be paiseh..sometimes i think they dun mean it, they are really concern but they may not know what is going on..
steph, will try your method when i paranoid again hehe.. you saw the Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor sold at Robinsons? do u remember how much it costs??
glad that you have a 17mth old boy also. can i check with you, the Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor that you mentioned, do you find it useful? i briefly read some reviews dunno whether it will be useful. my son sleeps in the same room as me..u still remember how much you bought it for?
roiv,
i know what you mean. When i went back to work, one of my closer but blur colleague ask me, er, yr 3 mths maternity finish ar? faint.. then another ask, your baby boy or girl..double faint..i think will definitely face this kind of circumstances..i came to the point where i can just tell them "I lost my first baby". It became their turn to be paiseh..sometimes i think they dun mean it, they are really concern but they may not know what is going on..
steph, will try your method when i paranoid again hehe.. you saw the Angelcare Movement & Sound Monitor sold at Robinsons? do u remember how much it costs??
Hi estbaby, destitonia and everyone
I've been reading this thread quietly not daring to share ... but finally got the guts to and here's my story. My first son was stillborn in Sep 2001. He was my first baby and he was birthed when he's 36 weeks. Being a new mother-to-be, I was too excited about getting ready for him that I forgot to monitor his movement. I went into labour and was told at the delivery ward that they cannot detect his heartbeat. I thought it's impossible; I'm healthy and he's growing fine. I delivered within 2 hrs. He was a beautiful baby, really beautiful. I regretted not taking a photo of him as I could not remember how he look like anymore. I too didn't send him to post-mortem as I couldn't bear to have his little body being dissected. Like destitonia, the umblical cord was twisted and it was shorter than usual and hence with a twist, it cuts off supply quite quickly. I was devastated with the loss and like some of you, I cried to sleep and couldn't walk into any baby places. My SIL was pregnant as well as a few other very close frens then. If my son's alive, he'll be running around like them ... that's what I always think when I see them. My nephew was a year old when I visited him. It was lunar 7th month when all these happened and my MIL told me that I shouldn't have plan for the birth then. I got very superstitious since then. A lot of "foolish things" we did were not practised subsequently. I only started trying 5 months later when the EDD is beyond that month. I hate the gynae. Yes, I hate her. I went to her a few days before it happened as I felt the baby had moved up; she said everything was fine. I was on a package deal but she didn't put me on a bi-monthly checkup; her reason: I was ok so no need to checkup so often. When it happened, she said it's not usual and every pregnancy is different, so don't worry. I went sourcing for a gynae. Yes, 1 gynae gave me sacarstic remarks ... "ya, nothing's wrong with you. come back and see me when you are pregnant" ... I never go back to see her. I ended up with my current female gynae who practises at Gleneagles. She did detailed tests on me (which showed nothing was wrong) and she listens and told me all the possibilities of what might happened. That's enough for me - someone who tries to understand what happened. I have my other children with her. When I was pregnant with #2, she gave me pills to thin my blood and she scans me more than what she usually does. I was very paranoid and would do up detailed baby movement monitoring chart. People asked me what I'm doing when I just sit there not moving and staring into space. I was counting my son's movements, almost all the time. I even wanted to do c-sect at 36 weeks. My gynae gave me all the facts abt operations and leave it to my chioce. I decided to wait but I kept monitoring. I wanted to get a baby movement monitor but her advice is why do it to get so stressed up .... I know I will probably have that on 24x7 so I didn't buy one...
I've since have 2 boys, aged 4 and 17 months. I had another mc in between them and it's due to an unhealthy foetus. My first birth story have changed my entire outlook of life and how I treat it. Sorry for being so long-winded; it's been a while for me to share this memory of mine.
.ky.
I've been reading this thread quietly not daring to share ... but finally got the guts to and here's my story. My first son was stillborn in Sep 2001. He was my first baby and he was birthed when he's 36 weeks. Being a new mother-to-be, I was too excited about getting ready for him that I forgot to monitor his movement. I went into labour and was told at the delivery ward that they cannot detect his heartbeat. I thought it's impossible; I'm healthy and he's growing fine. I delivered within 2 hrs. He was a beautiful baby, really beautiful. I regretted not taking a photo of him as I could not remember how he look like anymore. I too didn't send him to post-mortem as I couldn't bear to have his little body being dissected. Like destitonia, the umblical cord was twisted and it was shorter than usual and hence with a twist, it cuts off supply quite quickly. I was devastated with the loss and like some of you, I cried to sleep and couldn't walk into any baby places. My SIL was pregnant as well as a few other very close frens then. If my son's alive, he'll be running around like them ... that's what I always think when I see them. My nephew was a year old when I visited him. It was lunar 7th month when all these happened and my MIL told me that I shouldn't have plan for the birth then. I got very superstitious since then. A lot of "foolish things" we did were not practised subsequently. I only started trying 5 months later when the EDD is beyond that month. I hate the gynae. Yes, I hate her. I went to her a few days before it happened as I felt the baby had moved up; she said everything was fine. I was on a package deal but she didn't put me on a bi-monthly checkup; her reason: I was ok so no need to checkup so often. When it happened, she said it's not usual and every pregnancy is different, so don't worry. I went sourcing for a gynae. Yes, 1 gynae gave me sacarstic remarks ... "ya, nothing's wrong with you. come back and see me when you are pregnant" ... I never go back to see her. I ended up with my current female gynae who practises at Gleneagles. She did detailed tests on me (which showed nothing was wrong) and she listens and told me all the possibilities of what might happened. That's enough for me - someone who tries to understand what happened. I have my other children with her. When I was pregnant with #2, she gave me pills to thin my blood and she scans me more than what she usually does. I was very paranoid and would do up detailed baby movement monitoring chart. People asked me what I'm doing when I just sit there not moving and staring into space. I was counting my son's movements, almost all the time. I even wanted to do c-sect at 36 weeks. My gynae gave me all the facts abt operations and leave it to my chioce. I decided to wait but I kept monitoring. I wanted to get a baby movement monitor but her advice is why do it to get so stressed up .... I know I will probably have that on 24x7 so I didn't buy one...
I've since have 2 boys, aged 4 and 17 months. I had another mc in between them and it's due to an unhealthy foetus. My first birth story have changed my entire outlook of life and how I treat it. Sorry for being so long-winded; it's been a while for me to share this memory of mine.
.ky.
Finally found the courage to come back to see this thread ...
dear angel,
my heart goes to you. u are a very very brave lady. be strong and do take good care of yourself.
roiv,
I hope all ur blood tests will turn out fine! =)
dun take sleeping pills if possible ... its really bad for ur body ... I was on it for the past 2 months since my loss coz I kena depression. I'm still trying my best to snap out of it.
same as you ... I went to take the blood tests as well ... but alas I really suay ... I'm discovered to be infected with CMV ... and it was a recent attack ... and there is no permanent cure for this right now ... that kinda dashed all my hopes to try for another child for the near future ... my gynae told I'm the first reactive cmv case in her clinic ... duh~
My gynae told me that maybe god was protecting me by taking my baby boy with him ... there's a high chance he could be born blind, deaf or retarded if he had survive to full term. She said "God gives us wat we need and not wat we want" ... he would suffer much more if he had survive. I feel more relieved now knowing that my boy is at a happier place.
I juz went back to work on 4th june... first thing the security uncle ask me is ... how's ur baby ... I was like "..." then when I went to another dept to collect something ... they ask me "when are you due" ... I broke down and cried in office ... I know they r juz concern but ... it does hurts a little ...
dear angel,
my heart goes to you. u are a very very brave lady. be strong and do take good care of yourself.
roiv,
I hope all ur blood tests will turn out fine! =)
dun take sleeping pills if possible ... its really bad for ur body ... I was on it for the past 2 months since my loss coz I kena depression. I'm still trying my best to snap out of it.
same as you ... I went to take the blood tests as well ... but alas I really suay ... I'm discovered to be infected with CMV ... and it was a recent attack ... and there is no permanent cure for this right now ... that kinda dashed all my hopes to try for another child for the near future ... my gynae told I'm the first reactive cmv case in her clinic ... duh~
My gynae told me that maybe god was protecting me by taking my baby boy with him ... there's a high chance he could be born blind, deaf or retarded if he had survive to full term. She said "God gives us wat we need and not wat we want" ... he would suffer much more if he had survive. I feel more relieved now knowing that my boy is at a happier place.
I juz went back to work on 4th june... first thing the security uncle ask me is ... how's ur baby ... I was like "..." then when I went to another dept to collect something ... they ask me "when are you due" ... I broke down and cried in office ... I know they r juz concern but ... it does hurts a little ...
Hi ky,
It definitely takes lots of courage to relate your experience here. You are not alone. We can understand your pain. At the same time, happy for your now that you have 2 lovely boys now. Its truly another success story for those who wish to try for another baby...
When such thing happened, many will definitely be paranoid about their next pregnancy. The entire 9 months will be an entirely stressful period; I can feel it cos I will be one of those, living in anxiety, getting paranoid over trivial stuff..etc. Importantly is to take good care of ourselves and be more careful during the next pregnancy. Be it taking more tests, more scans or even to the extend of seeking medical advice from 2 gynaes (Am I exaggerating myself here), definitely everything that I can do to put myself at ease.
I am also thinking of getting those Home Monitoring Doppler to monitor the heartbeat. Any recommendation from anyone? I came across one brand BABYCOM, which is assembled in Israel, under USA collaborations that cost S$190.00 per set, subject to GST.
Hi Momoko,
Probably you may want to seek for a 2nd opinion. Is this test suggested by your gynae? Possible to let me know which tests you took?
I can understand how you must be feeling as I am caught in the same situation as you. I broke down on almost all occasions (Luckily its thru phone) when people asked. I seriously dunno how to face those questions when I am back in the office.
My elder son was telling me one day when he caught me crying. He says Mummy dont cry, Gabriel Di Di is in a very nice place now and he have many friend playing with him I believe him. Our angels will be in a very nice place, looking after one another
It definitely takes lots of courage to relate your experience here. You are not alone. We can understand your pain. At the same time, happy for your now that you have 2 lovely boys now. Its truly another success story for those who wish to try for another baby...
When such thing happened, many will definitely be paranoid about their next pregnancy. The entire 9 months will be an entirely stressful period; I can feel it cos I will be one of those, living in anxiety, getting paranoid over trivial stuff..etc. Importantly is to take good care of ourselves and be more careful during the next pregnancy. Be it taking more tests, more scans or even to the extend of seeking medical advice from 2 gynaes (Am I exaggerating myself here), definitely everything that I can do to put myself at ease.
I am also thinking of getting those Home Monitoring Doppler to monitor the heartbeat. Any recommendation from anyone? I came across one brand BABYCOM, which is assembled in Israel, under USA collaborations that cost S$190.00 per set, subject to GST.
Hi Momoko,
Probably you may want to seek for a 2nd opinion. Is this test suggested by your gynae? Possible to let me know which tests you took?
I can understand how you must be feeling as I am caught in the same situation as you. I broke down on almost all occasions (Luckily its thru phone) when people asked. I seriously dunno how to face those questions when I am back in the office.
My elder son was telling me one day when he caught me crying. He says Mummy dont cry, Gabriel Di Di is in a very nice place now and he have many friend playing with him I believe him. Our angels will be in a very nice place, looking after one another
Hi roiv,
Tested my blood at two hospi ... both return with the same results ... can't really rem clearly coz I was in a daze when I took the blood test ... practically washing my face with tears daily ... tink its LSG 0041B (touch profile) or something like that ... I can only rem clearly that they took 5 tubes of my blood (very pain!) and 1 bot of urine to test
Yes, My gynae recommended me to take the test so that if I have any prob she can get me treated b4 nxt pregnancy ... coz this is already my second loss actually ... I rem my gynae telling me the blood test is for testing if my blood has any antibodies that will harm the foetus during pregnancy.
I know it's hard for us to face those qns initially but as time goes by ... it will get easier. Always rem that pple ask only becoz they care about us.
My ex-team mgr told me it's only when I learn to let go then I can move on in life. So no matter how difficult it is, we must try ... our angels will not want to see us being so unhappy.
I too believe that our angels have gone to a very nice place, where they will be happy and carefree ...
I oso believe that if my lil angel is meant to be my boy, he will find his way back to me one day ...
Tested my blood at two hospi ... both return with the same results ... can't really rem clearly coz I was in a daze when I took the blood test ... practically washing my face with tears daily ... tink its LSG 0041B (touch profile) or something like that ... I can only rem clearly that they took 5 tubes of my blood (very pain!) and 1 bot of urine to test
Yes, My gynae recommended me to take the test so that if I have any prob she can get me treated b4 nxt pregnancy ... coz this is already my second loss actually ... I rem my gynae telling me the blood test is for testing if my blood has any antibodies that will harm the foetus during pregnancy.
I know it's hard for us to face those qns initially but as time goes by ... it will get easier. Always rem that pple ask only becoz they care about us.
My ex-team mgr told me it's only when I learn to let go then I can move on in life. So no matter how difficult it is, we must try ... our angels will not want to see us being so unhappy.
I too believe that our angels have gone to a very nice place, where they will be happy and carefree ...
I oso believe that if my lil angel is meant to be my boy, he will find his way back to me one day ...
eunice_sng71
Active Member
hi Steph,
I think Fathers' Day is next week. 3rd week of June right?
I think Fathers' Day is next week. 3rd week of June right?
superbunny
New Member
Dear Mummies..
Good morning... Hello to KY and Momoko!
KY, thanks for sharing your story. Am encouraged by your strenght and determination to have other children and i am happy to know that now you have 2 lovely sons!
Just to share my experience during my first week back into the office.. i guess in my case, it was slightly different cos most of my colleagues knew about Gabriel and in fact most of them attended his wake. But when i came back, it seemed like no one wanted to talk about him ni fear that i would burst into tears. On the first week back at work, i visited my gynea for a pap smear and at first, i was okie. In fact my doc was the one who was in tears. She was very encouraging and told me to try for another one quickly.. I was waiting outside for the medication when i saw Gabriel's picture up on her wall and that was it! Tears just ran down my face... Don't know how i made it back to my office but i really broke down. Was hugging one colleague of mine and crying in my room.. till my contact lens fell out and i was partially blind.
There will still be times when i feel sad and ask myself if one day i would be able to smile when i think of the memories. Maybe .. Momoko, u are right, no matter how difficult it is, we must try cos our babies will want us to be happy.
Since then, i have been keeping in touch with Gabriel's pedi and getting a doctor's opinion on the things that i can possibly do to try to reduce the risk of SIDS happening again.
Destitonia - I saw it at the Robinsons at City hall.. it was retailing at about $250 if i didn't remember wrongly. Its not cheap but i heard that it is very sensitive.
Good morning... Hello to KY and Momoko!
KY, thanks for sharing your story. Am encouraged by your strenght and determination to have other children and i am happy to know that now you have 2 lovely sons!
Just to share my experience during my first week back into the office.. i guess in my case, it was slightly different cos most of my colleagues knew about Gabriel and in fact most of them attended his wake. But when i came back, it seemed like no one wanted to talk about him ni fear that i would burst into tears. On the first week back at work, i visited my gynea for a pap smear and at first, i was okie. In fact my doc was the one who was in tears. She was very encouraging and told me to try for another one quickly.. I was waiting outside for the medication when i saw Gabriel's picture up on her wall and that was it! Tears just ran down my face... Don't know how i made it back to my office but i really broke down. Was hugging one colleague of mine and crying in my room.. till my contact lens fell out and i was partially blind.
There will still be times when i feel sad and ask myself if one day i would be able to smile when i think of the memories. Maybe .. Momoko, u are right, no matter how difficult it is, we must try cos our babies will want us to be happy.
Since then, i have been keeping in touch with Gabriel's pedi and getting a doctor's opinion on the things that i can possibly do to try to reduce the risk of SIDS happening again.
Destitonia - I saw it at the Robinsons at City hall.. it was retailing at about $250 if i didn't remember wrongly. Its not cheap but i heard that it is very sensitive.
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
Dear Mummies
thanks for still asking after me. Sorry I haven't been able to post - been having sleepless nights and kinda depressed by day...just lying on the hospital bed and staring at the ceiling...numbing myself to all the buzz around me. Reading the new postings here - I can really identify each of your pain and anxieties of returning to work and how to reach to pple...
And abt the comment of how difficult it is to 'strike' stillbirth twice - just look at me. Yes, it's rare, but it does happen, to unlucky and cursed women like me
worse thing is, my gynae, Dr Loh hinted to me that I may never be able to carry a live-birth to full term again after all the trauma my body has been through..so where can I place my hope?
A quick update - the infection to my C-section wound is now under control after 1 week of IV antibiotics drip. If all goes well, I can be discharged tomorrow (Friday 14 June). It's long overdue - in all, I've been warded for about 60 long days...can you imagine that?
But I'm not totally fit yet. After discarge, i still need to go to a nearby GP or Polyclinic to have my wound dressing changed daily for about 1 month or so until it completely heals...that's the only 'permanent' and tangible reminder I have of Ashley and Joash for now.
We're in the midst of getting the niche done - a sincere thank you to all of you who've stood by me throughout this painful loss. I hope to keep in touch with all...
This Sunday's Fathers' Day as well as my 8th Wedding Anniversary...My heart aches at the thought that David, my hubby would not be able to celebrate it as a father now that all 3 of our babies are DEAD...At least last month, when I celebrated Mothers' Day here at the ward, Ashley was still alive and kicking inside my womb
Life can be so cruel at times...
thanks for still asking after me. Sorry I haven't been able to post - been having sleepless nights and kinda depressed by day...just lying on the hospital bed and staring at the ceiling...numbing myself to all the buzz around me. Reading the new postings here - I can really identify each of your pain and anxieties of returning to work and how to reach to pple...
And abt the comment of how difficult it is to 'strike' stillbirth twice - just look at me. Yes, it's rare, but it does happen, to unlucky and cursed women like me
A quick update - the infection to my C-section wound is now under control after 1 week of IV antibiotics drip. If all goes well, I can be discharged tomorrow (Friday 14 June). It's long overdue - in all, I've been warded for about 60 long days...can you imagine that?
But I'm not totally fit yet. After discarge, i still need to go to a nearby GP or Polyclinic to have my wound dressing changed daily for about 1 month or so until it completely heals...that's the only 'permanent' and tangible reminder I have of Ashley and Joash for now.
We're in the midst of getting the niche done - a sincere thank you to all of you who've stood by me throughout this painful loss. I hope to keep in touch with all...
This Sunday's Fathers' Day as well as my 8th Wedding Anniversary...My heart aches at the thought that David, my hubby would not be able to celebrate it as a father now that all 3 of our babies are DEAD...At least last month, when I celebrated Mothers' Day here at the ward, Ashley was still alive and kicking inside my womb
superbunny
New Member
Hi Angel,
Just read your post and i just want to reach out to you and give you a hug cos i don't know what to say. I think going home to rest would be good for you and i pray that you will be discharged tomorrow.
We are here for you...
hugs
steph
Just read your post and i just want to reach out to you and give you a hug cos i don't know what to say. I think going home to rest would be good for you and i pray that you will be discharged tomorrow.
We are here for you...
hugs
steph
Hello Angel,
You are one brave and strong woman! I have chanced upon this support group recently but never dared to post to share my experience and i have been silently following your thread.
I works in medical industry and deals with doctors of various specialties... I never expected that bad things like this will happen to me because I am considered well-versed in human anatamony and medical contraindications and complications. When things happen, I blamed myself so hard to be so complacent and realised that medicine is not exact science!
Don't listen to 1 gynae opinion although he may be very experienced, because the medical technology is revolving so fast that some doctors have become commercial and education kinda of stop there, I guess...
David needs you as much as you needs him now... just focus on recovering and go for take a breather if possible...
You are one brave and strong woman! I have chanced upon this support group recently but never dared to post to share my experience and i have been silently following your thread.
I works in medical industry and deals with doctors of various specialties... I never expected that bad things like this will happen to me because I am considered well-versed in human anatamony and medical contraindications and complications. When things happen, I blamed myself so hard to be so complacent and realised that medicine is not exact science!
Don't listen to 1 gynae opinion although he may be very experienced, because the medical technology is revolving so fast that some doctors have become commercial and education kinda of stop there, I guess...
David needs you as much as you needs him now... just focus on recovering and go for take a breather if possible...
Hi Momoko,
Sorry to hear that. Tried to PM you but you are not able to recd PM Msg..
How many weeks were you then when this happened? Initial blood test not able to pick up what happened?
Hi Angel,
Thanks for the update. We are all here for one another!! Importantly you must have a proper confinement and have plenty of rest. Build up your body system!! If you need a listening ear, we are all here for you!!
Sorry to hear that. Tried to PM you but you are not able to recd PM Msg..
How many weeks were you then when this happened? Initial blood test not able to pick up what happened?
Hi Angel,
Thanks for the update. We are all here for one another!! Importantly you must have a proper confinement and have plenty of rest. Build up your body system!! If you need a listening ear, we are all here for you!!
Hello! Mummies,
When I was 1st back from work, there are some ppl who will ask when you due or you gave birth already? I just had to reply them that I lost the baby, it hurts but I just had to shut their mouth. I know they meant concern but I just hated it. Then after a while, nobody will mention about it anymore. But then when coll start to get pregnant, I had to put up a happy front and congratulate them. Once, I was so stressed up to my neck with so many pregnancy around me and had to voice out, so I wrote sms to my best friend just to vent it out somewhere. and when I went out to a bunch of close friends once, there was a barely less than 3 mths old baby at the cafe wailing away..I was driving myself crazy with that..but my friends tried to distract me with other topics.
I am glad I have friends who supported me at times like this and also virtual friends like you all who can understand this and can cheer each other on.
Hi! Angel - Good to hear from you. You must really take care of your health 1st and put the rest aside till you are better then think about it. Vanessa is right, medical technology advances everyday so who knows what brings us.
When I was 1st back from work, there are some ppl who will ask when you due or you gave birth already? I just had to reply them that I lost the baby, it hurts but I just had to shut their mouth. I know they meant concern but I just hated it. Then after a while, nobody will mention about it anymore. But then when coll start to get pregnant, I had to put up a happy front and congratulate them. Once, I was so stressed up to my neck with so many pregnancy around me and had to voice out, so I wrote sms to my best friend just to vent it out somewhere. and when I went out to a bunch of close friends once, there was a barely less than 3 mths old baby at the cafe wailing away..I was driving myself crazy with that..but my friends tried to distract me with other topics.
I am glad I have friends who supported me at times like this and also virtual friends like you all who can understand this and can cheer each other on.
Hi! Angel - Good to hear from you. You must really take care of your health 1st and put the rest aside till you are better then think about it. Vanessa is right, medical technology advances everyday so who knows what brings us.
blessedmommy
Active Member
ANGEL
just wanna tell u not to condemn urself for all that has happened to u and david. u r definitely not cursed. i call u a blessed woman. and why things like that happen to God's children like us, we really do not know. when i lost my 2 mth old Joel to congenital heart, i questioned God for months. i read ur blog and i can empathise with David when he posted "God's finest hour". i was exactly like him. i refused to hear anyone talk to me abt God's goodness etc... it just iritate me! and when the loss of a child happen to u the third time round, i dun think any of us here can ever even try to imagine ur pain. i pray that God reveals His love to u all over again and bless u with a lil bundle of joy to heal all ur broken hearts.
agree with the mommies here. pls seek a second opinion with regds to ur next conception. heard of dr ann tan at mt e? heard she is v gd at high risk pregnancies. an indo mom managed to deliver her baby, albei premature, after 5 or 6 miscarriages incl stillborn. dun give up hope ok. im sure david n u will make wonderful parents. for now, pls nurse back ur health and take good care of urself.
TO ALL THE MOMMIES HERE WHO HAVE LOVED AND LOST
be strong ok. losing a baby has to be the mother of all pains! its hard to face others. when i just lost mine, i only wanted to lock myself in the room the whole day. i hate it when ppl said things like, its ok u can try again. its seems so easy for them to say that isnt it. but think of it that they have never gone thru it like us, some of them dunno what else to say to console u. abut worst r those who avoid talking abt my baby like as if he never existed. i had a recent encounter with a church member one day and she asked me how many kids i have and when i said, 5 incl the one with Jesus. guess what she said? oh that one not counted, which means 4 only. i was like %$#@!!!!
anyway, sorry for my long post. am glad we r her to share n encourage one another.
just wanna tell u not to condemn urself for all that has happened to u and david. u r definitely not cursed. i call u a blessed woman. and why things like that happen to God's children like us, we really do not know. when i lost my 2 mth old Joel to congenital heart, i questioned God for months. i read ur blog and i can empathise with David when he posted "God's finest hour". i was exactly like him. i refused to hear anyone talk to me abt God's goodness etc... it just iritate me! and when the loss of a child happen to u the third time round, i dun think any of us here can ever even try to imagine ur pain. i pray that God reveals His love to u all over again and bless u with a lil bundle of joy to heal all ur broken hearts.
agree with the mommies here. pls seek a second opinion with regds to ur next conception. heard of dr ann tan at mt e? heard she is v gd at high risk pregnancies. an indo mom managed to deliver her baby, albei premature, after 5 or 6 miscarriages incl stillborn. dun give up hope ok. im sure david n u will make wonderful parents. for now, pls nurse back ur health and take good care of urself.
TO ALL THE MOMMIES HERE WHO HAVE LOVED AND LOST
be strong ok. losing a baby has to be the mother of all pains! its hard to face others. when i just lost mine, i only wanted to lock myself in the room the whole day. i hate it when ppl said things like, its ok u can try again. its seems so easy for them to say that isnt it. but think of it that they have never gone thru it like us, some of them dunno what else to say to console u. abut worst r those who avoid talking abt my baby like as if he never existed. i had a recent encounter with a church member one day and she asked me how many kids i have and when i said, 5 incl the one with Jesus. guess what she said? oh that one not counted, which means 4 only. i was like %$#@!!!!
anyway, sorry for my long post. am glad we r her to share n encourage one another.
Hi Angel,
Hugz ... went thru the same sleepless nite n depression state juz not too long ago ... Dun give up ... its more impt now that u nurse ur health back ... u r not unlucky nor cursed ... some people have it smooth while others like us have to go thru some bumps on the road ... wateva that dun gets us down will only make us stronger ... if western medical science can't help there's still TCM.
I was told since I'm 14 that I have a extremely low chance of getting preggy coz ... my period then comes like once in 2 yrs ... no ovaluation blah blah blah ... even the gynae at SGH say I condemn already but I didn't give up ... tried frm gynae to gynae, took medication to try 2 regulate ... fail times n times again till I turn to Chinese physician for help ... N I managed to conceive twice ... even though I lost my first at 9 weeks and my second at 24 weeks, n now I'm down with CMV but I still believe there is hope in tis world.
Miracles will happen to people who believe in them. Be strong and take good care of urself.
Hi roiv,
I so sotong ... din know I cannot rec'd pm ... me lost my boy between 22 - 24 weeks ... I was stupid enuff not to sense tt he was not moving ... so when I discovered only when I went for my normal scan at 24 wks ...
I went for a test b4 even trying ... then during pregnancy I did all those mandatory tests as well ... wateva extra test my gynae ask me to do I oso listen though I damn scare of needles ... but none of the previous test that I went for pick up that I have this IGB antibodies in my bloodstream. tt's y my gynae was oso shock when she saw my report coz not only I'm found with IGB, the content is abnormally high as well.
My gynae requested my hubby to test as well and ya ... he oso kena as well ... duno is who pass 2 who oso ... so both of muz r under treatment now
Hi Steph,
Tink of the happy moments that we have spent with our lil ones ... no matter how long or short it was, let's be contented tat they have once brought us joy and laughter so when we look back at these memories, smile ... that's the least we could do
To all mummies,
Its painful but we gotta b strong. Our angels may have left us but they shall live forever in our hearts and our memories.
Hugz ... went thru the same sleepless nite n depression state juz not too long ago ... Dun give up ... its more impt now that u nurse ur health back ... u r not unlucky nor cursed ... some people have it smooth while others like us have to go thru some bumps on the road ... wateva that dun gets us down will only make us stronger ... if western medical science can't help there's still TCM.
I was told since I'm 14 that I have a extremely low chance of getting preggy coz ... my period then comes like once in 2 yrs ... no ovaluation blah blah blah ... even the gynae at SGH say I condemn already but I didn't give up ... tried frm gynae to gynae, took medication to try 2 regulate ... fail times n times again till I turn to Chinese physician for help ... N I managed to conceive twice ... even though I lost my first at 9 weeks and my second at 24 weeks, n now I'm down with CMV but I still believe there is hope in tis world.
Miracles will happen to people who believe in them. Be strong and take good care of urself.
Hi roiv,
I so sotong ... din know I cannot rec'd pm ... me lost my boy between 22 - 24 weeks ... I was stupid enuff not to sense tt he was not moving ... so when I discovered only when I went for my normal scan at 24 wks ...
I went for a test b4 even trying ... then during pregnancy I did all those mandatory tests as well ... wateva extra test my gynae ask me to do I oso listen though I damn scare of needles ... but none of the previous test that I went for pick up that I have this IGB antibodies in my bloodstream. tt's y my gynae was oso shock when she saw my report coz not only I'm found with IGB, the content is abnormally high as well.
My gynae requested my hubby to test as well and ya ... he oso kena as well ... duno is who pass 2 who oso ... so both of muz r under treatment now
Hi Steph,
Tink of the happy moments that we have spent with our lil ones ... no matter how long or short it was, let's be contented tat they have once brought us joy and laughter so when we look back at these memories, smile ... that's the least we could do
To all mummies,
Its painful but we gotta b strong. Our angels may have left us but they shall live forever in our hearts and our memories.
miracle_bb
Member
hi momoko,
I went for the same blood tests as well. Like you said they took 5 tubes of blood. I was also tested for IgA and IgB antibodies, Factor V Leiden, protein S and C assay, etc. Only protein S came back below normal levels. In my following pregnancy, I was given aspirin (similar to Vanessa) and in addition heparin shots (daily!) to thin my blood.
hi angel,
*pat, pat* Please do not lose hope, but continue praying for guidance and strength. I can totally understand how you feel. After my second stillbirth, I felt so hopeless and depress. I thought my hubby and I will be childless for life. Even wondered if a marriage can survive without kids, etc. At that time, I even thought I was cursed. Then just when I stopped thinking about TTC and pregnancy, I was blessed with a miracle 4 months later. Please just rest now and let yourself heal physically first. BTW I took up some hobbies and activities after my second stillbirth to prove that there are many things to do other than babies, pregnancy, TTC.
I went for the same blood tests as well. Like you said they took 5 tubes of blood. I was also tested for IgA and IgB antibodies, Factor V Leiden, protein S and C assay, etc. Only protein S came back below normal levels. In my following pregnancy, I was given aspirin (similar to Vanessa) and in addition heparin shots (daily!) to thin my blood.
hi angel,
*pat, pat* Please do not lose hope, but continue praying for guidance and strength. I can totally understand how you feel. After my second stillbirth, I felt so hopeless and depress. I thought my hubby and I will be childless for life. Even wondered if a marriage can survive without kids, etc. At that time, I even thought I was cursed. Then just when I stopped thinking about TTC and pregnancy, I was blessed with a miracle 4 months later. Please just rest now and let yourself heal physically first. BTW I took up some hobbies and activities after my second stillbirth to prove that there are many things to do other than babies, pregnancy, TTC.
superbunny
New Member
Hi Angel,
Hope that you can be discharged from the hospital today and i pray that you will get your health back soon. Get more rest okie?? Let me know when you can take chicken soup and fish soup okie? I will make some for you..
Momoko - Dont say that you were stupid that you didn't feel he was not moving. It was not your fault. I want to say that i am encouraged from your story and to tell you how brave you are to keep trying. Yes, Miracles do happen and i am praying that you will be blessed with one soon!
I am happy that i have all of your support through this journey
Hope that you can be discharged from the hospital today and i pray that you will get your health back soon. Get more rest okie?? Let me know when you can take chicken soup and fish soup okie? I will make some for you..
Momoko - Dont say that you were stupid that you didn't feel he was not moving. It was not your fault. I want to say that i am encouraged from your story and to tell you how brave you are to keep trying. Yes, Miracles do happen and i am praying that you will be blessed with one soon!
I am happy that i have all of your support through this journey
chloe_chee
New Member
angel
i replied u over at the other thread. Take care of ur wound yar? Once u are getting better and got courage to do ur own dressing, u can purchase the dressing set from the polyclinic pharmacy, it is very cheap. Going to and fro the polyclinic can be very tiring, and too much movement can also delay the healing process. But u must still try to walk yar? Do it slowly though.
hey, give u a big HUG, dun belittle urself ok? u've been very strong all along! But i know no words can help cease ur pain now. Rest well, u can make plans later on, be kind to urself yar? i will be popping by the threads to see if u need help. Take care.
i replied u over at the other thread. Take care of ur wound yar? Once u are getting better and got courage to do ur own dressing, u can purchase the dressing set from the polyclinic pharmacy, it is very cheap. Going to and fro the polyclinic can be very tiring, and too much movement can also delay the healing process. But u must still try to walk yar? Do it slowly though.
hey, give u a big HUG, dun belittle urself ok? u've been very strong all along! But i know no words can help cease ur pain now. Rest well, u can make plans later on, be kind to urself yar? i will be popping by the threads to see if u need help. Take care.
sleepygarfield
Member
Hi Angel
After reading all your posts, I'm at a total loss of words, really feel like giving you a big hug..
I would say you're really a very brave and great woman. Don't be affected by what your doctor has hinted you. He's right that your body has gone thru alot of trauma, what you should do now is to have a really good rest, let your body fully recover and try again when you are ready.
Don't give up!
After reading all your posts, I'm at a total loss of words, really feel like giving you a big hug..
I would say you're really a very brave and great woman. Don't be affected by what your doctor has hinted you. He's right that your body has gone thru alot of trauma, what you should do now is to have a really good rest, let your body fully recover and try again when you are ready.
Don't give up!
Hi Steph & eysbaby,
I keep trying coz I wan to prove tt "Ren ding sheng tian". (lol ... lame ...) Coz myself m a prematured baby, my mummy gave birth to me at 28 weeks, she was down with measles n her doc told her if she dun 'pop' me out, high chance I'll die in the womb. I was her miracle baby.
Actually, I not tt brave too, I was once sucidal and depressed ... n I made my best fren so worried abt me. But now alot better already!
Now, I muz wait for my IGB to go off then can try ... sighzzz ... Howeva, I'm in a dilemma ... much as I wish to try again, at the same time oso bery scare nxt pregnancy halfway I kena infection again etc etc. So stress ...
Curl,
CMV is a member of the herpesvirus family, which includes the herpes simplex viruses and the viruses that cause chicken pox and infectious mononucleosis. It can be found found in body fluids, including urine, saliva (spit), breast milk, blood, tears, semen, and vaginal fluids.
Once CMV is in a person's body, it stays there for life. The infected person usually shows no signs or symptoms but mayb more prone to UTI.
I read alot of differnt saying on how one can get CMV, some say its only transmitted via human to human. But my gynae told me most probably I could have gotten it from animals. N I happen to be an dog lover ... I have 2 of my own, like my sons lidat. So she suspected it could b passed to me frm them coz my gynae told me for my content to b so high the source must have constantly been with me. It's not necessary an inborn genetic thingy.
An infected mum has high risk of giving birth to babies with congenital CMV, who will have signs of the infection at birth and will have serious complications including hearing loss, visual impairment, mental retardation, or epilepsy.
I keep trying coz I wan to prove tt "Ren ding sheng tian". (lol ... lame ...) Coz myself m a prematured baby, my mummy gave birth to me at 28 weeks, she was down with measles n her doc told her if she dun 'pop' me out, high chance I'll die in the womb. I was her miracle baby.
Actually, I not tt brave too, I was once sucidal and depressed ... n I made my best fren so worried abt me. But now alot better already!
Now, I muz wait for my IGB to go off then can try ... sighzzz ... Howeva, I'm in a dilemma ... much as I wish to try again, at the same time oso bery scare nxt pregnancy halfway I kena infection again etc etc. So stress ...
Curl,
CMV is a member of the herpesvirus family, which includes the herpes simplex viruses and the viruses that cause chicken pox and infectious mononucleosis. It can be found found in body fluids, including urine, saliva (spit), breast milk, blood, tears, semen, and vaginal fluids.
Once CMV is in a person's body, it stays there for life. The infected person usually shows no signs or symptoms but mayb more prone to UTI.
I read alot of differnt saying on how one can get CMV, some say its only transmitted via human to human. But my gynae told me most probably I could have gotten it from animals. N I happen to be an dog lover ... I have 2 of my own, like my sons lidat. So she suspected it could b passed to me frm them coz my gynae told me for my content to b so high the source must have constantly been with me. It's not necessary an inborn genetic thingy.
An infected mum has high risk of giving birth to babies with congenital CMV, who will have signs of the infection at birth and will have serious complications including hearing loss, visual impairment, mental retardation, or epilepsy.
Hi Momoko,
Please dun say you are stupid. Some babies may not be very active thus may be a little difficult to feel their movements in the early stage.
I like the positive way you are now "Ren ding sheng tian"(Not lame lah). Think of those people that love you. Your hubby, family, friends, surly you won't want to let them down right? Don't give up, keep trying. When there's a will, there's a way!! Let's all go confidently in the direction of our dreams...
Please dun say you are stupid. Some babies may not be very active thus may be a little difficult to feel their movements in the early stage.
I like the positive way you are now "Ren ding sheng tian"(Not lame lah). Think of those people that love you. Your hubby, family, friends, surly you won't want to let them down right? Don't give up, keep trying. When there's a will, there's a way!! Let's all go confidently in the direction of our dreams...
Roiv,
My MIL keep asking me y I nvr felt my bb not moving till she make me feel like an idiot lor ... duh~ I only how many yrs old n nvr gave birth b4 how I know ma ... luckily she nvr blame the loss on me. She blamed it on her son ... haha
keke
... ya rite! I managed to snap out of my depression coz of the pple who genuinely cares and loves me. Esp more so for the sake of my mum, my best fren (she was the one who brought me to this thread) and my ex-team mgr who have been worrying abt me frm the day my gynae told me my lil one is gone. They have consoling, encouraging and cheering me up. I can't have made it without them.
My best fren is my source of motivation ... she oso miscarried twice but she has nvr gave up. She has alot of fighting spirit!! She convert to TCM to build up her health and she told me she's gonna try again soon!! I really really wish it will be 'yi fan feng shun'for her this time
My MIL keep asking me y I nvr felt my bb not moving till she make me feel like an idiot lor ... duh~ I only how many yrs old n nvr gave birth b4 how I know ma ... luckily she nvr blame the loss on me. She blamed it on her son ... haha
keke
... ya rite! I managed to snap out of my depression coz of the pple who genuinely cares and loves me. Esp more so for the sake of my mum, my best fren (she was the one who brought me to this thread) and my ex-team mgr who have been worrying abt me frm the day my gynae told me my lil one is gone. They have consoling, encouraging and cheering me up. I can't have made it without them. My best fren is my source of motivation ... she oso miscarried twice but she has nvr gave up. She has alot of fighting spirit!! She convert to TCM to build up her health and she told me she's gonna try again soon!! I really really wish it will be 'yi fan feng shun'for her this time
Actually, I hope to try again soon so that me and my best fren can deliver at ard the same time but i must wait till
- my gynae confirm that the IGB in my blood stream is cleared
- when my womb is fully heal coz I went thru C-sect ... cannot natural coz of my backbone prob.
- my 'auntie' decides to visit me ... my 'auntie' bery hardcore, rite now travel to duno whr again ... 2 mths already still duno how to come back n look for me. Sighzzz ... my collegues told me that for pple with irregular period, the condition will improve after child birth ... then y is mine still haywire wor ...
I wonder izt coz I'm born wif polycystic ovaries. Isn't there any cure to tis prob???
- my gynae confirm that the IGB in my blood stream is cleared
- when my womb is fully heal coz I went thru C-sect ... cannot natural coz of my backbone prob.
- my 'auntie' decides to visit me ... my 'auntie' bery hardcore, rite now travel to duno whr again ... 2 mths already still duno how to come back n look for me. Sighzzz ... my collegues told me that for pple with irregular period, the condition will improve after child birth ... then y is mine still haywire wor ...
I wonder izt coz I'm born wif polycystic ovaries. Isn't there any cure to tis prob???
Hi Momoko
Thanks for your infor on CMV. I have read several success stories from books that these pple go thru IVG treatment during pregnancy and managed to carry their baby successfully. But am sure your gynae will recommend the right treatment for you.
I guess we have our down times as well. I also look strong but like you got sucidal thoughts before when my first relationship failed due to 3rd party. I guess these things just made us stronger.
I am PCOS too. There is no cure, but there are ways to treat it. And the 'best way' of course is to go thru proper dieting & etc. There are lots of books on how to eat right for PCOS. However, its a long and extremely disciplineed process.
Thanks for your infor on CMV. I have read several success stories from books that these pple go thru IVG treatment during pregnancy and managed to carry their baby successfully. But am sure your gynae will recommend the right treatment for you.
I guess we have our down times as well. I also look strong but like you got sucidal thoughts before when my first relationship failed due to 3rd party. I guess these things just made us stronger.
I am PCOS too. There is no cure, but there are ways to treat it. And the 'best way' of course is to go thru proper dieting & etc. There are lots of books on how to eat right for PCOS. However, its a long and extremely disciplineed process.
PCOS can cure by proper diet? none of the gynae I c told me this ... all make me eat pills ...
But I so picky over food ... duno if I can use this method ... coz if I take beef, liver or kidney I'll throw up ... n I dun like fish ... I'm more of a veggie person ... But i'll go find out more abt this method.
But I so picky over food ... duno if I can use this method ... coz if I take beef, liver or kidney I'll throw up ... n I dun like fish ... I'm more of a veggie person ... But i'll go find out more abt this method.
Hi Momoko
Actually, key of diet changes is like eating less contaminated and 'processed' stuff. This includes things like canned food, preservatives, colorings & etc. But it takes really a lot of time to see effects I think & may not work on some pple too, I think. If you are a more veggie person, it will be easier. Things like liver & kidney are 'toxic' and definitely not in the must eat list. There are lots of books in the library that talks abt PCOS Diet or like Curing PCOS the natural way & etc. Just have a look at it.
Actually, key of diet changes is like eating less contaminated and 'processed' stuff. This includes things like canned food, preservatives, colorings & etc. But it takes really a lot of time to see effects I think & may not work on some pple too, I think. If you are a more veggie person, it will be easier. Things like liver & kidney are 'toxic' and definitely not in the must eat list. There are lots of books in the library that talks abt PCOS Diet or like Curing PCOS the natural way & etc. Just have a look at it.
superbunny
New Member
Hi everyone...
Good morning! How was your weekend??
I finally plucked up the courage to go through Gabriel's stuff. After the funeral, my mum and a really kind friend of mine helped packed quite a lot of the things away so i could deal with it at a later stage when i felt i was ready. I guess i finally was. Took the whole morning to go through all of his clothes and vaccumed packed them away. Being a 3 and a 1/2 month old, he didnt have that many clothes but going through them was quite painful and in a way, made me think of all the happy times we spent together with each outfit. My hubby did it with me and it was as hard, or if not harder on him. Packed his toys properly into his chest of drawers and am going to donate some of the many soft toys that he had. Except the really special ones of cos!
Thanks for all the encouragement on this forum!! I will be taking one step at a time and hoping to be blessed with a baby soon
Momoko, we will spur each other on k?
hugs
steph
Good morning! How was your weekend??
I finally plucked up the courage to go through Gabriel's stuff. After the funeral, my mum and a really kind friend of mine helped packed quite a lot of the things away so i could deal with it at a later stage when i felt i was ready. I guess i finally was. Took the whole morning to go through all of his clothes and vaccumed packed them away. Being a 3 and a 1/2 month old, he didnt have that many clothes but going through them was quite painful and in a way, made me think of all the happy times we spent together with each outfit. My hubby did it with me and it was as hard, or if not harder on him. Packed his toys properly into his chest of drawers and am going to donate some of the many soft toys that he had. Except the really special ones of cos!
Thanks for all the encouragement on this forum!! I will be taking one step at a time and hoping to be blessed with a baby soon
hugs
steph
Mylollipopdays
Active Member
Dear Steph
it must be SO SO hard for you and your husband to pack away Gabriel's belongings...each toy, each nappy, each clothing must have brought back so much memories and grief all over again. I've lost 3 babies at early infancy and am already crying a river daily at the slightest thought of them...how are you able to hold up when you've had more than 3 solid months of bonding and precious times with Gabriel?
Sometimes, I wish God isn't so CRUEL to us - I went back to KKH y'day for dressing change and saw SO MANY babies in strollers, pregnant mummies, baby merchandises and I literally could have died of a BROKEN HEART...yet God chose to keep my life and let me suffer the grief of an empty womb, empty arms and empty heart. These days, I felt part of me have DIED with Joash and Ashley...I wonder if I'm slipping into depression...
Y'day was Fathers' Day - must be hard on your hubby too not to be able to have Gabriel around to celebrate it. For David and me too, it was our 8th wedding anniversary, and we went about our day with muted feelings...nothing to be joyous about - we are still mourning the passing of our 2 little ones, and yet after a simple brunch at Coffee Club, the waitress chose to greet us goodbye with a 'HAPPY FATHERS' DAY'. I wish I could go up to her and yell 'Not everyone's a father, damn it!'. Why is the world so insensitive? Don't people know there are parents who lose babies?
I've so much anger and confusion inside I wish I could die...
it must be SO SO hard for you and your husband to pack away Gabriel's belongings...each toy, each nappy, each clothing must have brought back so much memories and grief all over again. I've lost 3 babies at early infancy and am already crying a river daily at the slightest thought of them...how are you able to hold up when you've had more than 3 solid months of bonding and precious times with Gabriel?
Sometimes, I wish God isn't so CRUEL to us - I went back to KKH y'day for dressing change and saw SO MANY babies in strollers, pregnant mummies, baby merchandises and I literally could have died of a BROKEN HEART...yet God chose to keep my life and let me suffer the grief of an empty womb, empty arms and empty heart. These days, I felt part of me have DIED with Joash and Ashley...I wonder if I'm slipping into depression...
Y'day was Fathers' Day - must be hard on your hubby too not to be able to have Gabriel around to celebrate it. For David and me too, it was our 8th wedding anniversary, and we went about our day with muted feelings...nothing to be joyous about - we are still mourning the passing of our 2 little ones, and yet after a simple brunch at Coffee Club, the waitress chose to greet us goodbye with a 'HAPPY FATHERS' DAY'. I wish I could go up to her and yell 'Not everyone's a father, damn it!'. Why is the world so insensitive? Don't people know there are parents who lose babies?
Dear Steph,
Yup yup!!! Lets jiayou together! We can do it! I shall go library this sun to find those books Curl is toking abt.
I bought alot of baby clothes to prepare for my baby too ... N when I realised he's gone, I simply juz cried n cried at the mere sight of them. It must have been difficult for u. Sadly for me I have a very 'dumb' hubby ... he literally placed them in the same cupboard as where we stash our toilet rolls.
Can u imagine on the 3rd day I came back from the hospital I had to face my baby's things coz tt dumb ass oso have a habit of finishing the rolls n nv replacing. I had to go thru the agony of walking to the guest room to take and the first thing I saw was baby booties. I simply collapsed on the floor n kept crying ... n my insensitive hubby simply juz stand thr n tot I've gone mad ...
U r bery lucky to have a hubby that stands by u
Be strong!
Dear Angel,
Know its hard for u. But dun be consumed by anger ... I had the same feeling on the same day I was discharge ... was unlucky enuff to dun into my hubby's old fren who was thr with his newborn ... I was really consumed by resentment then coz this fren of his caused us alot of trouble till we kept quarrelling when I was preggy and yet he's blessed with a healthy baby.
At that time I really felt that heaven got no eyes! He even asked "Eh, U oso just give birth meh" I really wanted to take a knife and stab him there n then so my hubby quickly shoved me into the lift.
Calm down dear, you still have a long way ahead of you. Dun let anger and confusion take away your xing fu and its oso not good for your health ... old pple told me its not good for our eyes if we keep crying during confinement.
Tink on the bright side ... God may have a pleasant surprise install for all of us here in the near future. Dun lose hope!
As for those pple at Coffee Club, take wat they say as a pinch of salt ba ... forgive them ... they are being paid to say that greeting, they dun really mean it.
I know this must be a very difficult period of time for u and no amount of words will be able to console your grief at this moment. But do take good care of yourself ... there's still alot alot of pple who cares about u and praying for your well being.
Yup yup!!! Lets jiayou together! We can do it! I shall go library this sun to find those books Curl is toking abt.
I bought alot of baby clothes to prepare for my baby too ... N when I realised he's gone, I simply juz cried n cried at the mere sight of them. It must have been difficult for u. Sadly for me I have a very 'dumb' hubby ... he literally placed them in the same cupboard as where we stash our toilet rolls.
Can u imagine on the 3rd day I came back from the hospital I had to face my baby's things coz tt dumb ass oso have a habit of finishing the rolls n nv replacing. I had to go thru the agony of walking to the guest room to take and the first thing I saw was baby booties. I simply collapsed on the floor n kept crying ... n my insensitive hubby simply juz stand thr n tot I've gone mad ...
U r bery lucky to have a hubby that stands by u
Dear Angel,
Know its hard for u. But dun be consumed by anger ... I had the same feeling on the same day I was discharge ... was unlucky enuff to dun into my hubby's old fren who was thr with his newborn ... I was really consumed by resentment then coz this fren of his caused us alot of trouble till we kept quarrelling when I was preggy and yet he's blessed with a healthy baby.
At that time I really felt that heaven got no eyes! He even asked "Eh, U oso just give birth meh" I really wanted to take a knife and stab him there n then so my hubby quickly shoved me into the lift.
Calm down dear, you still have a long way ahead of you. Dun let anger and confusion take away your xing fu and its oso not good for your health ... old pple told me its not good for our eyes if we keep crying during confinement.
Tink on the bright side ... God may have a pleasant surprise install for all of us here in the near future. Dun lose hope!
As for those pple at Coffee Club, take wat they say as a pinch of salt ba ... forgive them ... they are being paid to say that greeting, they dun really mean it.
I know this must be a very difficult period of time for u and no amount of words will be able to console your grief at this moment. But do take good care of yourself ... there's still alot alot of pple who cares about u and praying for your well being.
To my dear Gabriel,
A Million Words Would Not Bring You Back,
I Know I've Tried.
Neither Would A Million Tears,
I Know, Because I've Cried.
The love i want is the love i can never have in my life ever again.
To all the mummies who have experienced the lost of your child :
Life is full of ups and downs.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
Let bygones be bygones, dun let it hurt u again. With determination, we will reach and hit the sky. We will learn how to stand up on our own and continue our path towards the future. Our child will always be in our heart.
A Million Words Would Not Bring You Back,
I Know I've Tried.
Neither Would A Million Tears,
I Know, Because I've Cried.
The love i want is the love i can never have in my life ever again.
To all the mummies who have experienced the lost of your child :
Life is full of ups and downs.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
Let bygones be bygones, dun let it hurt u again. With determination, we will reach and hit the sky. We will learn how to stand up on our own and continue our path towards the future. Our child will always be in our heart.
superbunny
New Member
Dear Angel,
Saw your posting just before i was about to leave the office yesterday.. was thinking about what you were saying. Had a good cry last night cos i was missing Gabriel so much. Funny how i noticed that i normally have teary nights on Mondays.
It was so so hard.. my hubby was holding up this particular romper of his, which Gabriel had worn just the night before. Tears were just rolling down his eyes. Coming to think of it, why did i make him go through that when it was Father's Day?? Not sure. On hindsight perhaps it wasn't such a good idea. But yes, i thank God everday for my hubby
if it wasn't for him, i think i would have never made it so far.
I was reading that para of how you went to KKH and saw all the babies at the hospital. That is the hardest part - not knowing why some people have children, whilst we have to lose ours. Was thinking of it and wondering if one day i will know the reason why we lose our babies and i am quite sure that one day i will but for now, i need to live on. Like what roiv said, with determination, we will all pull through. Hey, next time when you are going to change your dressing and need some company, just let me know alright? And if you feel that you want to talk to someone professional about how you are feeling, let me know.
Hubby and I have been going for conselling and it has helped us. Am not saying that it is for everybody but sometimes, talking to someone whom you dun know is quite liberating.
meanwhile, back to work ...
hugs
steph
Saw your posting just before i was about to leave the office yesterday.. was thinking about what you were saying. Had a good cry last night cos i was missing Gabriel so much. Funny how i noticed that i normally have teary nights on Mondays.
It was so so hard.. my hubby was holding up this particular romper of his, which Gabriel had worn just the night before. Tears were just rolling down his eyes. Coming to think of it, why did i make him go through that when it was Father's Day?? Not sure. On hindsight perhaps it wasn't such a good idea. But yes, i thank God everday for my hubby
I was reading that para of how you went to KKH and saw all the babies at the hospital. That is the hardest part - not knowing why some people have children, whilst we have to lose ours. Was thinking of it and wondering if one day i will know the reason why we lose our babies and i am quite sure that one day i will but for now, i need to live on. Like what roiv said, with determination, we will all pull through. Hey, next time when you are going to change your dressing and need some company, just let me know alright? And if you feel that you want to talk to someone professional about how you are feeling, let me know.
meanwhile, back to work ...
hugs
steph