SUPPORT GROUP - INFERTILTY

hi toy collector, haha... u make me paisay...i where got so young....ya, i look forward to days whereby me n my gal can share stuff together...
she always gang up with me to bully daddy...in the first few years of ttc for no.2, i think at certain pt, i did neglectmy gal... unless someone reminded me to count my blessing(my gal)... why pin hopes on somethings that is not here yet, n neglect what u already have.

all along, i kept all my gal's stuff n everything that i wanted to do, i always tell myself that i will do so after i give birth to my 2nd one... but one year after another...

still no sign of my 2nd one... so finally i decided to give my Materity wears as my hubby said that he will get me new ones... then i thought of giving up my gal small bicycle as it is just there to collect dust. then this gal who wanted my bike, is a mtb. veri young one, fin not stable so asked her whether she wants my FP gym, walker, some babies toy. she said ok.
so i took another step to give them up...

of course, i am sad as they are meant for my no.2....but i console myself that it is better to be a blessing than to collect dust.

but still keep most of my gal's baby clothes.... i think yr 1 to 3 as they are in vacumm bags....a stroller, n baby cot... cant bear to give up...but hor, sometimes, i do buy newborn stuff from spree, dont ask me why, but the joy of seeing them make me hapy(siao)

hubby always buy me materity wear...(equally siao)

i like to ask my gal whether she wants didi or mei mei as i want her to have something to look forward too as sometimes, she complains that no one play with her...(veri veri sad). sometimes, when she rest on my tummy...she will tell me that there is a baby inside...

vq, u are not alone in this situation....
 


Helloo ladies

wow i more of a dust collector than toy collector now.. ha ha..i did pass some of my new born toys to my brother's child but also told him i want them back if i have no.2..actually it breaks my heart to sell or give away my toy... friends who come my place thou i run a child care..so many things..... but i find myself very amused by rattles n stuff so i hand over some and find myself buying more toys to fill up that space..

well i have been preparing my son who is the king at home that if a mei mei comes he has to share share his food his toys etc but he always say no to me...n point to my tummy and say mei mei still inside n mei mei is a gal n plays barbie..

sigh...i think i should stop playing this waiting for the invisible mei mei game..

wow dorothy, your hubby is so cute buying you maternity wear..i think mine collecting mould.... i purposely buy bigger size clothes some times thnking i might be pregnant any moment n it will not be wasted..anyway i also have a big tummy n i have about 3 people offering seats to me so far..i rejected 2 but 1 lady deliberately walk away n no choice i have to take the seat...sigh.me not pregnant also got seat..it adds on to the wound... it's embarrassing to say out loud i not pregnant so graciously i took the seat..

sigh... my hubby has been forcing me to sell away the toys etc but i kept telling him i keeping for my grandchildren... it will be antique then.. once the shanghai toy musuem has an exhibition at hougang mall and i told myself maybe i can have a musuem one day!!

it's comforting to know i am not alone..i do have friends who really feel 1 is enough.. for me, i come from fmaily of 3 n now my parents are old n we 3 kids feel it's quite tough already to give much..how about if we have 1/...i am a social worker n saw some kids very upset cos they are the only child n when parents old must bear the medical bill alone..but of course i do come across old folks with many kids but all either housewives or odd jobber or unfilial ones...


so if i have only 1 i better save up for my old age.. my greatest desire is to save enough so that my son need not be burdened to support me but be what God wants him to be..

but i do notice the difference been the only child and having siblings..of course, more quarrels if they have siblings but at least they are not self centred...my son world revolves round him n everyone dotes on him... n he refuses to go child care at times cos in sch he has to share but at home .all the toys are his..no waiting no quarreling.. n he gets our undivided attention...
 
Hi Ladies,
Appreciate the little that you already have.
Take the additional one that comes along as a bonus.
Some of us here do not even have the chance to be a parent.
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Hi Tub, this is the most common statement given to us with "secondary infertility" ;) We do appreciate having our precious one...so much...

However it doesn't make it less painful for us because our yearning is as strong as those who are yet to be mommies.

In fact I think we may have more questions like why are we unsuccessful this time...what did we do differently...etc.

For me, I don't see the arrival of another child as a bonus...it's more like fulfilling a strong need. This thread is about finding support and knowing we are not alone in our quest. Whether we are already mommies or not...we all have a common goal.
 
hi Tub, the additional one is not a bonus (to me)....

yes, i am in deed more fortunate than many ppl as at least i have one....but to me, over the 6 years of ttc, i have my own struggles.... the self blaming as in since my hubby SA has being so bad( less than 1% also can conceive twice but why dont the third time...

trust me, it is just as bad or worst as everything u are looking/facing toys, stroller, baby clothes which keep reminding yourself when is the no. 2 coming....

also i think most of us(with one blessing) appreciate what we already.... no.2 is never a bonus....
 
Yes same to me..a 2nd one is just as wanted as the 1st one... i feel as much with those who has no kids..the intensity and yearning to have another is just as strong ....

i believe i will cry buckets of joy if i can see 2 lines in the pregnancy kit cos 1st child waited 2 yrs and now no. 2 i am still counting n counting...

i was sooo depressed today..one of my pri school friend who told me she will try for another kid only next yr..delivered her no.2 today..she's was even telling me not so soon as she just had no.1 in feb 05. i was not even awared that she is pregnant and the blow came when in the recent gathering found out she is p with 2nd kid ( y people accident so easily esp when they are not really keen...sigh)

for me..i kept asking why? the 1st time tried for close to 2 yrs ( 1 yr plus tried to conceive natuarlly) n finally just 3 rounds of clomid i conceived.. but this time so many rounds of clomid still no news... and i tell u the worst wost new was my hubby had trusion in sept 05 and i started on clomid since last aug 05..with trusion, hubby is in pain so cant try for any kids for few mths but i still faith fully take folic and since jan 06 till now still no news. the chances of conceiving is so much reduced that my hubby refused to even go for SA anymore..

just like dor , i kept blaming my hubby cos i know i am ovulating with clomid but YYYYY not kids so long already....this mth we even started using the ovulation kit but to be frank, i was not as zealous as when i have no.1, i used temp, ovulation kit, muscus method etc to find my peak..

cos i always wonder how come my friend can accident.. is it i stressed myself too much...

i am feeling so down that i dread visiting this friend's new born...people will sure ask how come we dun have... imagine i started earlier to have my no.1 ..now people no. 2 already but i still wonder when no. 2 will come..

it's true we need to count our blessing but the desire to have more kids is sooo great.....

i think maybe when my son is new born i m so tired that no.2 is not that much desired cos the night feeds is soooo tiring ..but now that my son is 3 n can tallk to u n laugh with u, u just wish u can have more.... of cos my son can be ahandful at times that the cane has to be put too gd use!!
 
Hi Gals,

I've read that the level of yearning, distress, pain, disappointment is the same whether you're facing primary or secondary infertility. The questions may just be different as with those of us who have yet to conceive.

In any case, we're all here to stand united in our common need to learn from each other on how to cope with our situations.

Toy Collector, before I found out about my own hormonal problems & my hubby low count was the only obstacal for us then (I now laugh when I recall this), I was so so desperate to conceive that I started daydreaming about how I could beg borrow or steal some guy's sperm!!! haha! How silly but it gave me some escape into la-la land & made me laugh when the ideas became ridiculous.

Hey, cheer up, women around us ARE falling pregnant like nobody's business! If you look further, so are the cats, hamsters, guppies, dogs..... we need to toughen ourselves against these 'sightings' because each time we're upset, we could be reducing our chances of conception! It could be d-day but when we're upset, our bodies' chemical changes....

So, let's get 'toughening' babes! As they say, when the tough gets going, we go shopping!

TGIF!
CY
 
It had never strike me that secondary infertility can be as painful.. if not more painful than primary infertility. I had tot that once we have a kid, we would have been appreciative and the yearning is not as great as we already have one whom we can love or called our own.. I am wrong.. reading the distress, pain.. it is as strong .. if not stronger.

I asked myself now .. is it more 'cause I can't that the yearning is great? or is it more 'cause I needed a child to complete a home. or 'cause I would have a child which i could call my own.

Sad to say I have got no answer... and yet I allow the external factors to affect me.. seeing women wear pregancy dresses.. hearing the delivery news from friends.. hearing the shotgun.. "accident" cases.. "strike at 1st time" I just let all these affect me.. a little ironical now that i reflect..

What are your views? Why are we in such? Did we ourselves caused the distress to ourselves? Allowing us to go into depression and then affecting or reducing our chances further.. Why..?
 
thanks for the encouragement...

some times i wondering actually i have colleagues who are healthy n fertile ( i beilieve) and working in neo natal wards telling me how they dread children... i tell u i have been telling everyone how i would love to wk at O & G dept n neo natal wards... i get ga ga over the babies especially if twins or triplets... but sigh i part timer so cant go to those wards..

so i guess those who dread kids whether they have fertility problem or not will not find it so over whelming when they dun have one and dun want one. n no need support group like us. They travel round the globe n pamper themselves in gd restaurants..but poor us trying to save $$ either to try new medicine or methods or adopt a child..

i have friends who had 1 and said ENOUGH factory closed i done my part and no more and they also cant understand why i am so "obsessed" with no. 2..

i wish i can be like the above at times so i would be so so so sad...but sigh, God made me different... I been praying for a child even b4 marriage cos my mum who is a non believer went to fortune teller when i was young n was told abt this issue last time... BUT i dun believe n trust that my God will provide me with many n He did provide..but the many might just be my desire rather than His will..

my poor hubby ( then my bf) has to go with me for parenting classes even before we went for our pre marital classes... i have tons of bks in my shelf which i bought when i am in my early 20s abt parenting which is gathering dust n turning yellow... from child birth to teenage yrs, how to tell your kids abt sex etc..

i even read supernatural child birth that author also supposed cant conceive in the end has 4 and has a pain free delivery...

well as what solutions said...at least end of the yr, the mood is better so many hols and it's gd time to SHOP and enjoy... u know shopping for my friends' kids is fun tooo..

so let us enjoy this shopping season..
 
hey joan, are u still on this thread? I'm going to see dr fong yang this monday cos my fren successfully delivered her twin boys with him. Any advise? Have u been to a fertility specialist?
 
Hi Toy collector,

Give you a tight tight hug..
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Yup.. this is the end of the year.. let's enjoy the season.. the holiday season..
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We do deserve to have happy times too..
 
Hi Tub,

We have seen fertility specialists but they only can recommend invasive procedures like IVF or IUI....basically, these are the 2 methods of conception.........

Do remember to take note of the risks which one have to face if one decide to embark on IVF.......which is one of the reasons why my hubby and I do not wish to undertake..........

Now, both of us are hoping for good baby miracles to happen......though medically, we are said not to be able to conceive naturally........

Well, it is really fate and destiny that plays a major part in our lives.......whether or not we have kids, depends on whether God will want to give us......if fated not to have, even trying so hard like IVF will also not solve our baby problem....if anyone out there will understand this!

Have a good weekend!
 
thanks findingmiki... u really made my day!!!

heee i was down again just now...went to SSO baby proms..met people u never meet for so long n 1 sec school frds have 2 gals n another friend has 3 ( including 1 pair of twins)...

BUT we can look forward to a new year and new hope.... Hang in there everybody!!
 
hi toy colleactor,
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i am glad too that I could make your day .. making u happy..
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I also dislike going to gathering and etc.. always need to brace myself for such ..
And also lost count of those who had new members.. and etc..

Yup.. New Year .. New Hope..
People may not understand us.. That's not impt.. as long as we have us in here.. this cyberspace where we understood each other.. where we stood by each other.. where we walk on with each other..
 
Hi everyone

Cheers to Solutions.......

Another year is going to be gone soon.....2007 is fast arriving........I am just reflecting that this will be another year of no baby again......just like last year, I thought that I will have a baby in 2006 but despite efforts of trying, still have no good news to share......

Anyway, still have to keep your hopes and chins high up.......as long as we try, we should not regret...........when I mean try not at the expense of health........

Perhaps, we will all have better luck next year.............cheers to a good new year!
 
Hi Ladies

Lets us not brood over the inability to conceive..Be happy that at least some of us has a little one to keep us company...Always be positive and you will get your gift soon
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As for me, I past my time by looking after puppies..stray puppies born at my site office and they really give me lots of joy and happiness....
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Take Care and have a pleasant weekend...
 
hi findingmiki

that what i feek comfortable here cos i can bear my thoughts... i dun like to share much to hubby cos what can he do except to pray that a miracle happens again.. n i think i more pro babies than him... well it's a woman thing i guess the maternal instinct... i dun see a male support grp here for infertility though maybe male just find it tough to share..

anyway nice to know that at least we all in the same boat...saw an article from a stepping stone when i am looking for infertility support group some time ago and it really brings tears to my eyes cos i can relate to it.

for those who are not christian, i hope u will not be offended..it's a nice article maybe to other religions u can view it as your god seeing u thru... it teaches us not to envy others but to concentrate on our journey


Read on

Visualize strolling through a peaceful forest with the Lord Jesus at your side. You are on a journey to the land where hopes and dreams are fulfilled. As the sunlight filters through the trees you think to yourself, Life couldn't be more perfect! Surely this is what the Lord meant when he said he had come to give us more abundant life! You are sharing with him your hope of becoming a mother soon and thanking him for creating you a woman and giving you the privelege of conceiving and bearing new life.

But suddenly, you being to hear the rush of water and, as you come to a clearing in the trees, you see a wide and roaring river. Your heart stops! You need to get to the other side. That's where your hopes and dreams will become reality. You feel panic and frustration rising within you. You begin running frantically up and down the shoreline looking for a way to get across to the other side. You see your future waiting for you over there, but there's no way to reach it. You big to call for help, hoping someone in a boat will hear you and take you across. You feel so alone. Where are your friends and family when you need them the most?

You being to stomp your foot and beat your fists against the nearest tree. You should, "What's happening? Five minutes ago I was so happy - now this!" You throw yourself down on the bank. You feel as though your heart has been torn out and thrown into the murky water, to be washed away downstream in the foam.

The tears continue to fall for days, weeks, years it seems. But, finally, out of total brokenness you being to llok for the friend you abandoned at first sight of that horrible river. You don't take many steps before you see him sitting there. As your eyes meet his, your very soul suddenly overflows with feelings of love, peace, and acceptance.

"I've been waiting for you," he says. "I know the way across the river. Will you trust me to deliver you safely to the other side?" Words cannot form in your mouth, so you silently slip your hand into his, assuring him that yes, you are ready.

He begins to lead you along the shoreline and it isn't long before you see a path across the water leading to the other side. Stones! A path of stepping stones! Why hadn't you seen those before? Finally, there is a bridge across the troubled waters. There, just waiting for you, are the hopes and dreams of a lifetime.

He steps out first. How comforting it is to know that he goes before you. Time passes slowly. It seems you've been stepping from stone to stone for a very lont time, so you strain to see around your leader, wanting to know how much farther you have to go. In doing so, you los your balance and slip off the rock into the churning water. He quickly turns, reaches down, and draws you out of danger. You're thankful he doesn't rebuke you for your impatience and lack of trust in his ability and promise to get you safely to the other side. He just smiles and says, "Follow me!"

As time drags on you again begin to wonder when you'll ever reach your destination. You think to yourself, If I look back to see how far we have come, maybe that will encourage me to keep the faith. So you stop and look behind you.

You can't believe your eyes! You look to the left and then to the right! There are people behind you - men and women all plodding along on paths to get to the other side. Where did they all come from?, your heart cries. Where were they when I felt so alone?

You position yourself on the stone beneath you so you can see these fellow travelers more clearly. You begin to realize that not all pathways are the same. Some paths seem shorter than others. Some are straight and others crooked. Just to your left you see a woman practically running across her stones, not taking the careful, slow steps you must take in order not to slip or fall. Why, her stones are much closer together than yours - no wonder! How unfair! She will reach the other side long before you will and you started out before she did!

You decide you must speak to the Lord about this. You carefully turn forward again and there he stands, on the stone right in front of yours - patiently waiting for you to continue your journey. You are surprised at the bitter and selfish words that flow out of your mouth but, after all, "This isn't fair!" He listens and, when you are finished, gently says, "The stones I have chosen for your brothers and sisters are not your concern. You follow me!" He stretches out his hand and once again you relinquish your hand into his care and allow him to guide you across.

It seems forever, but you finally reach the other side. As you wearily step onto the bank you look behind you. Your heart is filled with compassion for those still stepping from stone to stone. You hear the Lord say, "My child, if you could share with them how to make their journey easier, their burden lighter, what would you tell them?"

Thinking for a moment you reply, "Lord, I'd tell them that even though the stones you have chosen for them seem too many in number or too far apart for their stride, if they will only keep their hand in your hand, neither looking to the left nor to the right, but gazing steadfastly in front of them, then you will guide them safely over each stone until they reach the desires of their hearts."

-Janet Malcom

2006 Bethany Christian Services
 
beary, you're a tough cookie! pls continue to inspire us by sharing your thoughts!

toy collector, thanks for the article.
 
Hi Beary,
You're right. Been to dr fong and he's indeed a nice doctor with excellent bedside manners.
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He diagnosed me wif endo and pcos on one of my ovaries. Putting me on clomid for my next cycle. DH going for SA this friday. Sigh. Just have to wait and see. The journey continues...

Anyway, u into puppies? I love doggies! Have a miniature pinscher that I spend my time with. Doggies are adorable because they don't judge and they reciprocrate your love! Best thing is, unlike little children, they don't talk back! heehee. Think we can take solace in that. Have a good week ahead!
 
Hi Tub

kkekekke.... You are right... puppies do reciprocrate your love!! Seeing them wagging their tails and running towards me when I walk towards them can really made my day....I have a pomeranian at home... Just have a soft spot for dogs...
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Hi all, hi soulutions thanks for invites ...... i am lost here..... and new ......i am oso ttc but becos i got thyroid tats why i cant conceive now
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hi qqing, welcome welcome. dun feel lost ok... cos we are all "lost" in this journey...

HI Beary/Tub, me like dogs too!!! but my husband dun allow to get one. i love husky...

i wonder whether anyone of us have this thinking...

as the world is into this aging problem whereby not enough babies to replace the old..

singapore is one of the affected country.

i wonder does the government know/affect of ppl like us... trying n trying to concieve?

can we get any help( in term of $$) to continue in this journey....at times i veri tempted to write in forum....(siao)

i under that we can use our cpf for treatment... but only up to certain amount.

also sometimes i asked myself why i want to have more kds... (i think at times i veri siao)
 
u know there is pro and cons of having or not having kids..

i have elderly with no kids so when they are sick , they see social worker and when they are old and no $$ approach CDC- very clear cut..as long as they dun have lots of savings and stays in big house.

however if they have 1 kid then the poor child would have to bear the expenses of 2 parents very "siong" especially if only son then he might even need to support 4 parents if his wife not working...

i also thou of writing to forum or to call some feedback unit that the irony is that most of us are educated but coming from low /middle income we have lots of loan to pay once we start working n now when we are married n with kid, it is even harder n now there is GST increase some more..

was talking to my elder bro yesterday cos he wants us to spilt mum's medical bills then i told him i part timer and still trying to conceive so cant contribute much..

n my elder bro who is single just gave me a very straight forward reply.. NO $$ no kids..my elder brother super filial said must give mum more money but the irony is my mum refused to help me take care and thus i only part timing when my son turn 18 mths

then i scolded bro that then is very unfair for my son next time to have to support us when we are old.. if i dun try to have another.

but i also know that having kids is not just for them to support us in future but is because we really love kids and also that our only child will not be so lonely.

it will be good if our kids can support us but with the present high living standard i really wish i n hubby are self sufficient next time..
 
Hey ladies,

I am wondering... Anyone knows exactly how we can use our CPF for fertility treatment? If not, I'll have to call CPF but that usually means endless waiting and putting on the hold.
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As for child and $... Well, I guess I don't expect my child/children to sustain me in the future. At times, I ask myself why I want to have a kid. It's certainly not to keep me company in the future, least to support me. My DH and I came to a conclusion that its to provide a chance for someone to come to this world and do good. (Idealistic... yeah?) And to give ourselves a chance to groom someone who'll be of use to this world. So that means, we're also thinking of adoption. But of course, I don't deny some selfish motivation of wanting someone to carry on my gene pool. So contradictory right? hahaha I don't understand myself sometimes...

toycollector, you don't have to explain to your bro why you want to have a 2nd kid. Its between you and your DH right? I think your motivation is not wrong. Wanting another child becos u love children is a good enuf reason to ttc for another one. Dun give up! $ will come. Don't think too much about it yet.

Harro Beary and dorothy,
I'll post a picture of Happy (my doggie) once I can get him to sit still and take a decent foto.
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He's always prancing around and couldn't stay in one spot for even a few seconds.

Hi qingqing,
Welcome! Keep your posts coming. The ladies here are v encouraging. Whatever it is, remember you are not alone. There are a number of us here ttc-ing as well!
 
Hi Tub

Below is what you can claim for assisted conception from medisave...Hope the info helps..
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Looking forward to see ur doggie pic...
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Assisted Conception Procedure (for female patients only)
Note : Only the Medisave of the patient and her spouse can be used.
Use of Medisave for Assisted Conception Procedure (ACP) is up to 3 treatment cycles.
For ACP treatments received on or after 1 August 2004, the withdrawal limits are

1st withdrawal - $6,000
2nd withdrawal - $5,000
3rd withdrawal - $4,000

For ACP treatments received before 1 August 2004, the withdrawal limit is $4,000 per treatment cycle.
 
Hi CY, i hv not come up to this thread for quite a while... just came back fm my Japan trip.. Yeah! i enjoy myself!!

i am still struggling with the HSR's 22 pages application form... now i know the reason y some ppl back off... Did you fill up this application form too? a friend of mine who had adopted a girl when she's a newborn 3 years back. She need not do any HSR back then!!

i m still wondering is it better to adopt a newborn or mayb 16mths(those just started to walk). to think properly, infant is better as to, what u teach they will listen but as for the latter, she might hv difficulty understanding our language,right?
 
VQ,

What is HSR?

Which adoption agency did you go?

People always say that having kids will bring joy and cheer to a married life........or a natural progression once a couple is married......it seems that that is not exactly true as gift of conception will only happen to some people and not for others who tried so hard but still no results.....

Kids are really expensive investments and costly to raise in today high cost of living world............with GST on the rise, etc.......and more rises to come??, it is just very contradicting for the govt to say that they want to raise fertility rates without doing much to help its people.......

Just food for thought......

Cheers!
 
Hi Joan,

HSR stands for Home Study Report. You will need an approved HSR to be able to adopt. Mainly, is to know whether u r financially stable to support the adopted baby n also ur family values!! HSR application form consist of 22 pages!!! The question includes: TOUCHWOOD!!! who will look after your adopted child if u n ur partner had a mishap??? (Some ppl might think, what a question to ask? we might not even think abt it for our children!!!) but this question did a tinkle to my DH n i on: OH YES!! who will look after our DD if both of us....

i did not go or plan to go to any adoption agency. i had a relative who will keep a lookout for me, fm her village on any abandoned chinese baby girl. so it's like anytime... that y i hv to get my HSR ready ASAP. as it will takes abt 5 wks for aproval. then after, will look for a lawyer to do legal papers for me...

anyway, my DD is waiting impatiently for her little sister to arrive... she had been asking my DH n i: when is my little sister coming? since we told her abt our adoption decision!!
 
Hi all,

Has anyone had Ashermans before? Can you please share in the process of overcoming infertility?

Thanks & regards.
 
Yes, i have ashermans syndrome, if you want to noe..can pm me....i went for surgery before for tis...
 
Hi all

Hello new contributors!

I didn't have to go through the HSR as I understand that local adoptions are exempted from that. We, did, however, go through a 2 hr interview with MCYS which asked tough questions like how was discipline at home like for the 2 of us, how are we planning to discipline our child, financial background, etc.

For those of you who didn't read our threads earlier about adoption, well, it's another great way of creating a family unit esp if you, like my hubby & me, have had enough of physical & emotional pain from infertility. From the time our daughter was put in our arms till today (she is 15 mths), we've never gone through a day without thanking God for her. I even often forget that she's adopted and we've raised her from a very young age. If you're thinking of adopting an older child, it can be a little more challenging esp if he/she's attached to the foster parents but great if you don't want to go through the sleepless nights. It's really up to you.

Happy Christmas shopping meantime!

Soulutions
 
ermmmmm ...... dorothy and tub .... i am still lost i dunno what u all talking abt so sorry .... maybe u all like to intro so i can get to know more of u.

I will start for myself, I just got married in May and after my marriage immediately i went to see a gynae for help cos i my period kinda irregular. after i told her tat i got thyroid she send me to her fellow doc in the same clinic whom specialise in thyroid, diabetics etc.
After tat I was ask to do a blood test and to my horror my thyroid level is very high .....so my doc say i cant conceive at this moment ... after monitoring for mths .... and i tell him my condition like my period is still not regular he suspect I have polycystic ovary diesease. he say is not too good. He ask me to do a blood test for that which cost a bomb kekekeke i very stingy lah so i told him i will go other place to do So i have made an appt at KKH to do the blood test on 29/12.... keep finger cross hope is ok ....
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The journey of life...

Before i embarked on this journey, I had prep myself that this is not going to be an easy journey. But no matter how much I prep my heart, soul and mind, nothing is enough. For I still could not bear the failures on my own. Though I had hope that my journey is smoother, but as days passed, realism sets in. It is going to be a long journey. The destination cannot be seen yet. The tunnel remains dark. The light at the end of the tunnel is not seen as yet. Since I had embarked on the journey, I had to go on, figuring out my way in the dark.

During the journey, I found companions. We heard each other, each of our cries, the tearing from our heart. We embrace each other each time when we needed to cry. We support each other so as to go on walking. Be it a short, long, everlasting journey, we helped and encouraged each other thru this journey. For we know our pains best.

Thank you my sisters.

I am starting my 1st cycle of SO-IUI after 2 failed IUI attempts and 2 aborted IUI attempts. Learnt how to do injection myself. Overcome the fear of injecting myself. Just needed courage to move on and accept yet another failure..
 
Hi findingmiki, do hang on!!...i also dread injection... the 1st time i tried with clomid and injection..i need my husband to do for me and at the back side..

i still dread injection that i skip the recent flu vaccaination too.

i understand what u mean..every month can only have 2 outcome for me- p or not p.. but as much u as u want it to be a success at the back of your mind, u are preparing yourself in the event u are not..

Press on and will keep u in prayers!! when is your iui date?
 
Hi Toy collector,

Thanks. No idea when the iui date is as it really depends on the inspection on day 8. Doc needs to see the progress. There is a chance that I would hit Xmas, hopefully the lab is willing to come and process the sperms for me.. will see how things goes.. Can't worry too many things at 1 go..
 
hihi ladies,

Recently my friend gave birth to a wonderful bb boy and I realised that the suffering she had to go through is not v far away from what we are experiencing. Her bb demands to be fed every hour and she is kept awake every night. His constant crying has reduced her to a ball of nerves and she is really very depressed and stressed up cos she doesn't know why he's crying. My point is...I think its just different suffering. One is mother suffering and the other is childless suffering. If we can just take it as different experiences and accept it as it comes, then perhaps we'll be happier. So toy collector, perhaps there are 2 outcomes for you, its H and not H. Happy or not happy and not p or not p.
happy.gif


Just do whatever we can to improve the the situation and leave the rest to Kamma/fate/God/what you believe in. Ladies, have a wonderful festive season with your husband and family!
 
qingqing

How are you doing? Who is currently your gynea, and which hospital? Are you going to switch to KKH? Or just go there for blood test?
 
Hi Ladies,

i m watching a Korean Drama recently... this drama is talking abt couples' life after wedding. a lady,A married for many years but still childless whereas her SIL married not long n got pregnant very soon...

A n her DH is under great stress n pressure... she is trying all sorts of ways to get pregnant... both of them r physically n mentally very tired!!! A took the TCM which her parent had bought for her to improve her TTCing.. but the disadvantages of this TCM is, she will experience stomach pain.. but her pain is severe... she can even woke up in the middle of the night bcos of the unbearable pain... her DH is so heartpain when he c this.. n he cried n shouted to her while throwing all her TCM into the trashbin, saying that: Dont take these TCM anymore, we just live the way we r now... childless so what? A is crying n telling her DH to stop while retrieving the TCM fm the bin. I cried loudly too. just like letting off all the stress i m in.. cos my DH is outstation so i m alone in e hse... Suddenly, i think i can understand n put myself into this character's position.

Although i hv a DD, i just feel that 1 is not enough... everytime, i c my DD playing alone n talking to herself.. i feel rather sad, guilty n sorry for not giving her a sibling. Thinking that will she b living better, if she's not born? rather than she's so lonely now?!??

i personally feel that having 1 child in my family is not complete.
 
hellloo..

thanks for sharing the story...same as me...i wasted 2 p kits again... i not sure y i am doing this but every month i just filled with hope that it will be the MONTH!! i check out all the symptoms and say sound like i am P but last wk of the month i will be so anxious that i cant wait even for few days to see my menses...
i see my son playing alone and my peers' children all have someone to play..just found out a sec school classmate has 3 even... if only i could have 1 again.. i wish i wish.. but how far should i go to get it?

my colleague shared that she would love to have her own but since she cant she accepted it she willnot adopt cos it cost $$$ and to adopt a kid and quit her job to take care of an adopted kid is just too big a sacrifice unless it 's her own flesh n blood..but she keen if some one gives her 1 though..

i also wish some unwed mum will give me 1 too...every time i go to son's child care n i just wish that i can bring more home....

i do know how difficult to take care of a new born..i remember been so tired n stressed when son is born but i wish that my son has more support should me and hubby pass on. cos my parents are not close to any of their relatives we grow up not close to our cousins.


Tub, i do understand what u mean...i felt that way too when ijust gave birth but i learnt my lesson that we need support so since my mum is not helping then must hire helpers ..i have friends who have sooo many suppoort that i think they can go out n give birth to many cos they are rich n they have maids, parents and they even can have very demanding career... and i doubt nite feeds is that tough cos after all they can rest in the day with so much help...it's those mummies who have to lose so much sleep cos no help n have so much chores to do.. tell your firend to hang on cos i been thru that stage but it will be over..she will start having her rest after 2 yrs or less of sleepless nites but seeing her baby smile and going thru different stages of mile stone will help her know it s all worth while...
 
i do not know what u all want for Christmas but for me i stopped asking hubby for any gift cos all I want for birthday or Christmas or Valentine is just a baby - a Gal will be great... i hope i am not seem too greedy but that's my desire and it does get stronger every year.

maybe some mummies can tell me what is nice gifts to have besides a baby.. ha ha

have a great time doing last minute shopping and wrapping!!!
 
Since the quest.. I seem to dislike festive seasons.. dislike my own bday even.. There is just no mood. To be happy or not happy is a matter of choice. But why it is so hard to be happy?
 
Hi everyone,

Cheer Up.....Christmas is just round the corner!!

Well, I just felt that this year, there seems to be no Christmas mood......office seems so quiet with most people on leave.......so, hoping to sense some Christmas mood in this forum.....

Whether we have children or how many children we are going to have is really not up to us to decide......it depends on God who created us and make us......right!! So, let us be contented with whatever we have at this pt of time.....life is too short.....just make do with what we have and learn to realise that everyone fate and lives are different....whichever stage one is in, one has to deal with its own challenges and problems...........

Got children have to deal with children's problems....no children.......have to deal with loneliness and emptyness........whatever it is, also got problems.........so, the best solution is to remain happy and be contented with whatever we have......if we are destinated to have kids, we will have it, no matter what........coz the baby is fated to come to us......right??

Let's not get depressed over baby project......hope that there will be more baby dust coming to us next year.....

Cheers!
 
last nite had an argument with hubby cos he not keen to go for SA or see dr or go IUI.. ..maybe i am just getting too desperate.. hee hee but after a gd cry i felt so much better..

i just enquired that a round of IUI at sgh can cost about 500 ( plus blood test for hiv, hep b and rubella)... cash not cpf... so ex... anyone knows if it really cost sooo much..
 
toy collector, my gynae is at sgh too... my gynae recommended me to do IUI but my DH is not very keen on those "aided treatments" after he heard that i will hv to inject myself everyday to induce ovulations n possibility of having excess water in the lungs... he told me that if i need to suffer so much to get a child, he would give it a pass cos he will be under great stress too....

ur DH might share the same views as my DH too... Love u too much so wouldn't want u to go through any sufferings...
 
i think maybe it could be that too..but my dh also has a man 's pride cos few yrs ago he did a SA and it was very low and he feels he does not want to be disappointed with the result again.. wow i never know the complications i just called the nurse there yesterday and i scared of needles the thou of doing blood tests is enough to make me think again....

yes i also know the more u invest your emotion,time, energy and $$ u expect more and u will be upset if it dun turn out that way...

i always wonder i just need 1 sperm n 1 egg to have a baby n men has millions of them y cant??? then i wonder how come i see some from low income family having so many.. is it less stress?
 
Hi Gals, do not be despair especially during this festive periods(xmas to CNY). Cos we will bound to meet friends/relatives or anyone who is either pregnant or just gave birth. I was reading the aug07MTB n found that this lady gave birth in 05, may06 n now she is expecting her no.3!

Fair is always not fair whether we like it or not. No, I dont saying that we leave it to fate but rather just enjoy life as it is.(be it one child or still in the progress)

Recently, I was looking at my office calendar where I usually recorded my mens, my fertile period. So discouraging.. also this is the time whereby ppl will set their new year resolution or have their work evaluation done. But when it come to my TTC, it always blank. This make me veri sad.

Toycollector, dun quarrel with your DH for not willing to go thr any test. Its not worth it to stain your relationship. Just enjoy the progress.

Findingmilk, I salute u cos I am the type who will die to have a jab.

My DH always like to ask me what I wan for festive. Recently, he asked me what I wan for xmas. My gal answered on my behalf. She Said A BABY. It pains me to see how being so sensible..

VQ, What is the title!!! I wan to watch n have a good cry!!!!

Last but not least. I wan all of us to be happy!!!!

btw, toycollector, i think the cost of IUI should be abt $1500
 
hey i went to read that too after u shared abt that lady with no.3 on the way..so productive..... i wish i can start a thread for sept 07 mtb for all of us.. hee hee

iui is so exp.. oops i think can bring whole family on a cruise or a trip to hong kong..

i actually spoke to my coll who is doing neo natal if she comes across any abandoned babies can i apply to bring them home.. she said i have to go check it out cos she doubt she can help me..

maybe i will sign up as a foster mummy with MCYS next time so at least i can let other kids come n stay with me for a while.
 


hi all..
new year coming.. despite all these festive seasons, I don't feel happy at all. Infact when I looked back in yr 2006, there is no achievement at all for me. I did nothing except TTC. Very discouraging. Is my life all about TTC? I cannot think of other thing except TTC. It is like in my blood now ( after trying for 3 yrs plus). depressed..

VQ, Is that Korean show called " Jie Hun"? I have watched a few episodes (at a friend's place). Want to buy its DVDs/VCDs but cannot find...
 
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