Stress of having sex TTC

[CTTC]

Hi sisters, anyone feeling the same way as me? Having the stress of having sex while TTC? Doc advised to BD every 2 days during fertile period. But that is causing a strain and stress between hubby and I till the point we cannot even make proper love anymore. But we are under the pressure of TTC soon as doctor advise my condition of Adenomyosis may come back. I'm torn between following doctor's advise and letting it be as natural as possible. Normally hubby and I do not have high sex drive and can only do the deed once a month when not TTC. Had a few quarrels with hubby over this issue and I feel heartbroken.

 

[P3riwinkl3]

@CTTC, since you mentioned that both your husband and you do not have high sex drive, perhaps you can "reserve" doing the deed during your ovulation period?

For the rest of the month, just focus on showing affections to each other (eg. hugging, kissing, making out, being nice and sweet to each other) to build up the mood until that time of the month (not for AF but for sex). By focusing on having sex purely as a chore to have a baby, it really kills the mood of having pleasurable intercourse. Your body may also not be as turned on and it will make the process very tedious.

And maybe you can try having a short vacation overseas / staycation during your ovulation period. A change of environment may be helpful to make you less stressful (no disturbance from work, family, friends, housework, etc).
Usually when my hubby and I are overseas, we feel more "on" about doing the deed...maybe it's bcos we are in a different environment, we are less inhibited.

 

[trinity4ever]

Hi sisters, anyone feeling the same way as me? Having the stress of having sex while TTC? Doc advised to BD every 2 days during fertile period. But that is causing a strain and stress between hubby and I till the point we cannot even make proper love anymore. But we are under the pressure of TTC soon as doctor advise my condition of Adenomyosis may come back. I'm torn between following doctor's advise and letting it be as natural as possible. Normally hubby and I do not have high sex drive and can only do the deed once a month when not TTC. Had a few quarrels with hubby over this issue and I feel heartbroken.

I thk Docs would also tell u if too stress during TTC, one may not conceive easily. I have heard of a no. of cases where couples conceive under the most stress-free condition or where occassions, they least expect they would conceive. I thk is got to do with the body & mind. When the mind is too stressed, i'm sure it may trigger certain hormones/signals to your body.

It doesn't matter how many times you TTC. Though medically speaking, the Doc is right - doing more often will increase your chance of conceiving. But i do hear people who try 1 time in that mth & bingo. If freq is an issue, perhaps you may want to time it near yr ovulation. Afterall, your egg will need to be fertilised within 12-24 hrs to be able to conceive. If you missed the window period, no matter how many times you try, it is not going to work.

 

[CTTC]

@CTTC, since you mentioned that both your husband and you do not have high sex drive, perhaps you can "reserve" doing the deed during your ovulation period?

For the rest of the month, just focus on showing affections to each other (eg. hugging, kissing, making out, being nice and sweet to each other) to build up the mood until that time of the month (not for AF but for sex). By focusing on having sex purely as a chore to have a baby, it really kills the mood of having pleasurable intercourse. Your body may also not be as turned on and it will make the process very tedious.

And maybe you can try having a short vacation overseas / staycation during your ovulation period. A change of environment may be helpful to make you less stressful (no disturbance from work, family, friends, housework, etc).
Usually when my hubby and I are overseas, we feel more "on" about doing the deed...maybe it's bcos we are in a different environment, we are less inhibited.

Hi @P3riwinkl3, hmm cos Gynae advised cd10 then start until ovulation comes. Then when ovulation comes do two more times so the frequency is quite high. Once every 2 days. So you suggest only when OPK positive then do it once or twice?

We did go for staycation but guess the frequency of doing the deed is too high before and after ovulation so it's still hard for us. Sigh!

 

[CTTC]

I thk Docs would also tell u if too stress during TTC, one may not conceive easily. I have heard of a no. of cases where couples conceive under the most stress-free condition or where occassions, they least expect they would conceive. I thk is got to do with the body & mind. When the mind is too stressed, i'm sure it may trigger certain hormones/signals to your body.

It doesn't matter how many times you TTC. Though medically speaking, the Doc is right - doing more often will increase your chance of conceiving. But i do hear people who try 1 time in that mth & bingo. If freq is an issue, perhaps you may want to time it near yr ovulation. Afterall, your egg will need to be fertilised within 12-24 hrs to be able to conceive. If you missed the window period, no matter how many times you try, it is not going to work.

Hi @trinity4ever, but Gynae did mentioned that it will be best to do the deed before OPK is positive so sperms are ready waiting for the egg when it ovulates. How you suggest I do it? When OPK positive then do twice? Once every 2 days?

 

[P3riwinkl3]

Hi @CTTC, indeed if you start trying from cd10 till end of ovulation, it is about 10 days leh...The ovulation week can last 7 days. Doing it 5 times within 10 days is very xiong ar.

I'm not too sure how effective is OPK or how regular is your monthly cycle.

http://blog.kindara.com/blog/top-3-biggest-mistakes-to-avoid-when-trying-to-conceive
http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/ovulation/fertile-days/ovulation-predictor-kits/

Just want to ask...Do your body show any symptom(s) when you are near ovulation?

For example, in my case (maybe TMI, sorry in advance), I will start having colourless mucus-like discharge at the beginning of the ovulation week.
I will also have mild cramps which I believe is ovulation cramps.
Some time mid-week, the colourless mucus-like discharge will become less watery and turn into cheese-like discharge.
During this mid-week period, the ovulation cramp will suddenly intensify on 1 side of my lower pelvic area (I believe it's on the side of the fallopian tube that's releasing the egg).
That will let me know that I'm ovulating or ovulating soon.
I actually followed my body's cue when my hubby wanted us to TTC. So when I noticed the intensified pain, I told him I think I'm going to ovulate and we did about 2 times over 4 days (not alternate days)...And bingo

Actually I only started noticing my body's pattern recently after I had cysts problem (mild cramps and pulling feel but the cysts resolved by themselves over time) which made me more sensitive to my cramps and body symptoms.

Perhaps you may want to rely more on your body's signals to pin-point your actual ovulation timing....if you have cramps or discharge like my case.

 

[RaphMum]

Hubby & I used to find it a chore to BD during my ovulation period too! You guys are not alone.

To "cultivate" & increase my sex drive, I read romance novels involving sex such as The Billionaire Series by J. S. Scott on kindle. As for hubby, he went to see a doctor to deal with his issue.

We had successfully conceived in Feb 2016 naturally & Im now 9 weeks pregnant. Hope to hear good news from you soon!

 

[jayjayqueenie]

we take supps that boosts our libido. can be found in guardian / watsons. if u r not shy to ask

 

[CTTC]

Hi @CTTC, indeed if you start trying from cd10 till end of ovulation, it is about 10 days leh...The ovulation week can last 7 days. Doing it 5 times within 10 days is very xiong ar.

I'm not too sure how effective is OPK or how regular is your monthly cycle.

http://blog.kindara.com/blog/top-3-biggest-mistakes-to-avoid-when-trying-to-conceive
http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/ovulation/fertile-days/ovulation-predictor-kits/

Just want to ask...Do your body show any symptom(s) when you are near ovulation?

For example, in my case (maybe TMI, sorry in advance), I will start having colourless mucus-like discharge at the beginning of the ovulation week.
I will also have mild cramps which I believe is ovulation cramps.
Some time mid-week, the colourless mucus-like discharge will become less watery and turn into cheese-like discharge.
During this mid-week period, the ovulation cramp will suddenly intensify on 1 side of my lower pelvic area (I believe it's on the side of the fallopian tube that's releasing the egg).
That will let me know that I'm ovulating or ovulating soon.
I actually followed my body's cue when my hubby wanted us to TTC. So when I noticed the intensified pain, I told him I think I'm going to ovulate and we did about 2 times over 4 days (not alternate days)...And bingo

Actually I only started noticing my body's pattern recently after I had cysts problem (mild cramps and pulling feel but the cysts resolved by themselves over time) which made me more sensitive to my cramps and body symptoms.

Perhaps you may want to rely more on your body's signals to pin-point your actual ovulation timing....if you have cramps or discharge like my case.

I am a super clueless kind of person. Even though I try to notice body symptoms but I cannot differentiate the mucus and cramps etc

 

[CTTC]

Hubby & I used to find it a chore to BD during my ovulation period too! You guys are not alone.

To "cultivate" & increase my sex drive, I read romance novels involving sex such as The Billionaire Series by J. S. Scott on kindle. As for hubby, he went to see a doctor to deal with his issue.

We had successfully conceived in Feb 2016 naturally & Im now 9 weeks pregnant. Hope to hear good news from you soon!

Hmm novel sounds like something we can try!

 

[asl18]

we take supps that boosts our libido. can be found in guardian / watsons. if u r not shy to ask

whats the name of the drug? tried looking online but couldnt find anything constructive.
thank u

 

[Wonderwonder1976]

Try not to withdrawal immediately after ejaculation, hold of a few minutes, to prevent sperm from flowing out.