SAHM with no helpers Support Group

B

Butter_crackers

New Member
Hello! Anyone of you who also doesn't have any helpers (such as Part-time maid/full - time maid/parents/in - laws) and is taking care of your own kid who isn't attending school? May you please share with me on how you manage the chores and meals? Greatly appreciate! :)
 

Last edited:

Ive been a SAHM for 10yrs without any help. Have 2 girls, age 9(P3) n 4(N2). Everyday busy sending, fetching to n fro sch (no car) n preparing meals...
Its easier to take care of 1 non school going kid.
 
betc said:
Ive been a SAHM for 10yrs without any help. Have 2 girls, age 9(P3) n 4(N2). Everyday busy sending, fetching to n fro sch (no car) n preparing meals...
Its easier to take care of 1 non school going kid.
Click to expand...

Applause for you, betc! Yes, I do agree that 1 is easier than 2. Haha. My hubby and I are planning for a second child.

How do you manage and plan out the meals? Do you also cook everyday/ every weekdays? :)
 
I cook 6 days a week. My P3 girl reaches home quite late each day so our lunch is usually ard 2pm+... dinner will be simple meal as hb work night shifts.
In the morning after my elder girl goes to sch, i will start to prepare soup for lunch in slow cooker, send my 4 yr old to sch, reach home then prepare anything thats not done in the morning. Leave hse at 11.30am to pick 4yr old. Sometimes she will play with her friends at the plauground so by the time I reach home i have to rush downstiars at ard 2pm to pick my elder girl. By the time we're done with lunch is already 3pm. Every weekday is rush, rush n rush...
 
Even I jus started .. My baby is 8 months old.. Very difficult t manage without any help ..mommies share how u manage ?
 
Me too, a SAHM for 10 years without any help. 2 daughters age 9 and 3.

I feel very blessed to be a SAHM. What can I ask for more when I am able to watch every developmental milestone of my 2 girls and also having a great husband. My routine goes like this:

Both my girls go to school by school bus. I will be free after the N1 left for school at 10am. Thereafter is my 1hr exercise time. Either head for the gym or workout at home whilst catching up TV programs at the same time. Prepare lunch at 11.30am. I usually cook fast and healthy meals. Simply marinate any meat of the day for 15min then steam it in the rice cooker with the rice. Then cook 1 vege dish. Sometimes I will cook spaghetti or macaroni soup with egg, meat and vegetables. Refrain from feeding the kids with too much fish balls and crabmeat, they contain lots of msg. After cooking is my shower and meal time. Both kids return home by 2.30pm. All of us take afternoon nap at 4pm. My advise is to take the opportunity to nap when your child nap so that you have the energy for the 2nd half of the day. Cook dinner at 5pm. Kids bedtime latest by 9pm.

I do not send my kids for enrichment classes on weekends. These days are for us to enjoy outings and bonding time as a whole family.

Many homemakers are looking at earning some income during their free time, and so do I. When my elder daughter was 4 yr old then, I started selling children's clothes here until the arrival of my 2nd baby. I could not cope with my online business during my baby's 1st yr. However when I was ready to return to my business a year later, the trend of shopping from here had dropped. I started to look for alternative way to earn money again. Now I am happily working 2 hours on weekdays in the evening after my hubby returned from work to look after my girls.

Basically my duty at home is to cook, do light house works and coach the girls in their studies. I am really very fortunate to have a super supportive husband who shares the house workloads. He does all the laundry, mops the floor and washes the dishes to prevent my hands from getting old and dry with brittle finger nails...haha.. Being a SAHM is tiring. But when you change your mindset and think positively, everything is beautiful and worth it. There is one thing that I will definitely do at the end of every hectic day: Watch my 2 darlings sleep soundly like angels makes me forget all the crazy stuffs that happened during the day. :)
 
I have been a SAHM for 6 years now, I do most of the chores like laundry, cooking, mopping, vacuum etc. on my own. Hubby helps with dish washing and weekly toilet cleaning. We have a daughter who is in P4 this year. I used to cook lunch and dinner every day. It's quite a hassle cooking 2 meals a day and takes lots of discipline to resist the temptation of buying takeaway food. I usually prepare 1 veg dish, 1 meat dish, 1 fish dish and 1 soup for dinner. Lunch is simpler with 2-3 dishes without soup. My girl does not attend any tuition classes so I have to coach her in her studies as well. It is a matter of getting used to the daily routine and becoming more "skillful" with practice.
I used to be a school teacher and work schedule was so hectic that turning full-time homemaker seems easier in comparison. Plan out your time in your head at the start of the day helps, think about the things you want to achieve for the day. All the best to you and hope you enjoy being a SAHM!
 
Mommies ,
In ur experience as SAHM, how u usually manage in preparing foods to 8 months old baby ? Especially when don't have anyone to help . My hubby can help only in evening times in weekdays in cleaning , washing etc . My concern is preparing food fr baby.

Sometimes baby cry And want to be near always .. And it delay d food preparation process and add stress sometimes .. Most times I don't find time to eat fr myself as priority is little one .. Suggestions are most welcome from experienced mommies
 
Butter_crackers said:
Oh dear... *hugz* Mayochuu. Yea.. it's really challenging. Mine is 3 years old now. I totally can feel you. It was so tough when the kid is younger. How old is your child?
Click to expand...

Thanks dear~ My baby is now 6 weeks old. Had the help of my husband during confinement now he is back to work I am alone. I think the hardest part now for me is to cope with the tiredness. Else all should be fine as it goes along I guess.

Actually, wanna ask you mummies, how do you all cope with colicky infant alone at home? With all the tiredness, house chores etc?
 
Even though I m not a SAHm , I have can offer my suggestion on how to cope with a clingy baby / toddler. For babies , I would Babywear while doing housework and light cooking. No deep frying and avoid open fire. When I cook while Babywear , I use electric cooker / slow cooker
 
During cooking time, I survived with the use of exersaucer and high chair. I also showed my girls the vegetables I'm going to cut and even let them smell vege and spices. Always put toys or puzzles on the high chair tray. By 12mth old, my elder one could sort out the 26 letters alphabet puzzle.

Between 8-12 mth old, we usually ate what the baby ate. For 8 mth old baby, pureed food was preferred. ABC soup was on my menu twice weekly. What I did was puree the cooked potato, carrot and other ingredients separately and freeze them in ice cube tray. I also freeze the soup in milk bags. There were days when we were tired of having the baby menu and craved for outside food instead. That was when the baby frozen food came in handy.

After 1 yr old, my babies ate what the grown up ate, less the oily, salty and spicy food. I recommend every mummy to invest in a handheld blender. The one that is used to puree small amount of western thick soup. Until now, my younger one is a picky eater who doesn't eat vegetables. I use that to blend the vege then mix it with the rice and meat.
 
i was handling one child on my own for 3.5 yrs before no 2 came along. then now i have helper with me to take care of 2 of them. i would say handling one baby all alone (my hubby goes overseas to work) is tougher than having 2 adults handling 2 kids.

i ordered tingkat meals for myself during those early years and did batch processing of baby food (freeze the chicken stock for porridge or pureed food in cubes). i also used slow cooker to cook porridge n i woke up earlier than baby to prepare ingredients like chopping the vegetables.

i have a devices like walker/high chair/cot/step n play piano to trap baby inside whenever i need to answer nature calls...
u can also seek inspiration fr various sahm blogs to read how they cope... u r not alone... n u will figure a way to cope with each n every obstacle.

the toughest part is when u become sick(stomach flu for eg) n just want to lie dwn or sit on the toilet bowl but ur child is so active n needs to eat n play. and there is no hubby ard to help till 7 days later... but by then you would hv recovered... hehe

and then there's always the media devices like ipad n tv... but i m glad to say i did not let him watch any tv/media till he was almost 3 yrs old
 
Mayochuu said:
Thanks dear~ My baby is now 6 weeks old. Had the help of my husband during confinement now he is back to work I am alone. I think the hardest part now for me is to cope with the tiredness. Else all should be fine as it goes along I guess.

Actually, wanna ask you mummies, how do you all cope with colicky infant alone at home? With all the tiredness, house chores etc?
Click to expand...

Mayochuu, my kid used to stay up for about 5 hours crying hysterically due to colic. :( then we tried applying Ru Yi You and then he calmed down and felt better. We also fed him gripe water. Hmm.. maybe you can consult your Pd too. :) hope your baby will be fine soon!
 
Jane_lim said:
I have been a SAHM for 6 years now, I do most of the chores like laundry, cooking, mopping, vacuum etc. on my own. Hubby helps with dish washing and weekly toilet cleaning. We have a daughter who is in P4 this year. I used to cook lunch and dinner every day. It's quite a hassle cooking 2 meals a day and takes lots of discipline to resist the temptation of buying takeaway food. I usually prepare 1 veg dish, 1 meat dish, 1 fish dish and 1 soup for dinner. Lunch is simpler with 2-3 dishes without soup. My girl does not attend any tuition classes so I have to coach her in her studies as well. It is a matter of getting used to the daily routine and becoming more "skillful" with practice.
I used to be a school teacher and work schedule was so hectic that turning full-time homemaker seems easier in comparison. Plan out your time in your head at the start of the day helps, think about the things you want to achieve for the day. All the best to you and hope you enjoy being a SAHM!
Click to expand...


Hi Jane, thanks for your reply! :) did you send your daughter to cc when she was young? If not, did you bring her out frequently for activities and to socialise with other children? How did you manage the chores and meals then?
 
Hi mummies, how do handle during your 2nd pregnancy and the first few months after the 2nd child was born? What do you do when you feel like resting throughout your pregnancy while your elder needs a lot of attention and activities?
 
Usually at what age u send to child care ? 15 or 18 months ? One of my Friend said that we should need to pre book for cc when baby is around 12 months ? Not sure of details

Mommies pl share
 
Both my kids attend 3hr nursery/kindergarten n I send them to school on public. I have to carry my infant n take bus to send my elder to kindergarten. #2 is very sticky n I couldn't bath so I have to bath with her until are 2 yrs old. She doesn't like to be confined in walker or high chair so she will be all over the house when I cook. She started walking at 11 mths so it's really challenging with cooking.
 
Hi Mummies,

If your baby constantly requires you to carry, any way to kick this habit away? We really didnt carry him much but somehow he became to really like us to carry to sleep. It became quite a problem for me because I totally find no chance to express (have to now due to milk thrush) :(
 
Hi Mummies,
I am a FTWM with 2 kids (6 & 4) with no helpers, can I join?

Kuddos to all mummies here... you are the best... for 1st time mummies, hang on there... it will be better when toddlers period but would have another set of challenges.
 
Mayochuu said:
Hi Mummies,

If your baby constantly requires you to carry, any way to kick this habit away? We really didnt carry him much but somehow he became to really like us to carry to sleep. It became quite a problem for me because I totally find no chance to express (have to now due to milk thrush) :(
Click to expand...

Hi Mayochuu, I remember my son was like this too and I read from some articles that it's actually normal because babies like to be hugged and to feel secured. Though I know some mummies shared that their babies sleep through the night rather early. I guess all babies and kids are different. I had a really exhausting and frustrating period especially for the first 3 months. Hmmm... maybe you can try playing some soothing music for your baby? I hope it helps.

Mummies, if you have other better solutions, hope u can help too. :)

Meanwhile, hang in there Mayochuu. Situation will improve month by month..
 
maplemummy said:
Hi Mummies,
I am a FTWM with 2 kids (6 & 4) with no helpers, can I join?

Kuddos to all mummies here... you are the best... for 1st time mummies, hang on there... it will be better when toddlers period but would have another set of challenges.
Click to expand...


Hello maplemummy, please feel free to join! :) you are a wonderful mummy too! I guess it must be really tiring for you too. May you please share with me on how you handle your chores and kids after work? :)
 
Butter_crackers said:
Hello maplemummy, please feel free to join! :) you are a wonderful mummy too! I guess it must be really tiring for you too. May you please share with me on how you handle your chores and kids after work? :)
Click to expand...

Hi Butter cracker, yes.. it is quite tiring, but I have a weekly pt maid coming on sun to assist me.

I just set a routine: what to do on weekday night, but hand wash kids clothes is a must for every night chore.

Kids still manageable, but got cons & pros... they sleep abit late & awaiting for me to finish all household chore & we slept together.

How about you?
 
Dear mommies... I have been FTWM (with maid) to PTWM (without maid) and soon to be SAHM (without maid). :)

Some "short-cuts" to share - instead of handwashing the children's clothes, just pay for things like Vanish, Nano-technology stuff etc etc... dump all in the washing machine, soak before running the cycle. It really makes a difference. And nothing beats having to "hide" in the toilet to scrub clothes, right? I recently even tried dumping in 3 bags and 3 pairs of shoes. I sprayed the bottom of the shoes first, remove all the insoles, and then dump all in together with dirty bags. Soaked for 30mins and then run an intensive cycle. All came out reasonably clean and dry. That saved me at least 30mins of scrubbing! Well worth it. :) I also get kids to sleep early (8-9pm) so that I can do any housework or prep or do a facial after they goto bed. I have a robot floor washer that vacumns and cleans the floor when I am letting the kids sleep. When I come out from their room, I just need to rinse the robot - takes 5 mins.

About babies wanting to be carried to sleep - When I had my first and second baby, I hated it. I thought it was such a waste of time as I could be doing something else. Came the third baby, I cherished every moment. I let her lie on me tummy to tummy, and then I'd pat her to sleep (also helps with burping). After she sleeps, I would transfer her to the cot. At some point she outgrew this and refused to sleep on my chest. She is 2 now, and when she feels like it, she will want me to carry her like a baby - this makes her fall asleep in 10 seconds!! It warms my heart to know how much comfort she finds in this.

Which brings me to my last point - a lot of what our babies are doing, they are doing it because they need us, or they feel really upset or bad. Not because they want to waste or time or irritate us. I learnt this only at baby #3 (because I knew we would stop at 3!)... last chance, then only I cherish those moments. And last chance, then I tell myself, she is screaming because she is uncomfortable - not because she hates me! And all these will pass... and then we will miss it. Think of it... how can the Korean drama or the dishes or the laundry be more important than a cuddle? Especially to a small baby who wants only YOU. :) positive thinking, ladies...
 
That is a very positive saying when you have a maid to help tide through your first baby when you are inexperienced in handling them. I would say trying to find time for bm expressing is equally important as cuddling a small baby who constantly needs to be cuddled.
 
mayochuu, my baby is now nearing 10 month old so i recently went through ur stage. am breastfeeding wo fm supplementation. i also carried my baby a lot... i have quite a few different carriers (cloth slings for home n sturdier ones like manduca n hip seat)...

when bb was at 5 to 8 weeks i rem i was expressing bm too because i had sore n cracked nipples. then i went on to direct latching since then. how is ur milk thrush? have u recovered from it?
i carried baby a lot.. Both babies. i baby wear them... as for chores i got pt helper when i had baby no 1. pt helper came weekly and i just did basic chores (laundry, magic clean, dishes)... house is pretty much a mess. but really hv to lower our expectations...

as for colic, i bought ridwind on doc recommendation n she also suggested infantcol... but ridwind worked great. it will pass once bb turns 4 to 5 months old. hang in there.

as for fatigue... it will become chronic... no way out except to drink coffee/tea or bubble tea... ?? it will get just slightly better after a few months but still terrible... i think it became a lot easier after bb hit 18 mth to 24 month... when they eat better too.

u can pm me if u need further help. will be happy to assist. :)
 
Hi timmerin,

Milk thrush getting better but doc says still need to apply medication on my nipple and baby's gum for another 3 weeks to totally clear out the infection. I hope we both recover asap so I can latch on directly.

I am using ridwind too, works quite well for me as well. And yah I have a cup of coffee almost everyday, getting better coping with the tiredness, more like the lack of time to express bm is a headache now.

Thanks for the offer and concern<3
 
Mommies cud u share how u managing babies when they r teething

My bb going through this stage with refusal of foods,fussy all times.. Without help its really difficult to manage..
Suggestions are welcome
 
Aksram said:
Mommies cud u share how u managing babies when they r teething

My bb going through this stage with refusal of foods,fussy all times.. Without help its really difficult to manage..
Suggestions are welcome
Click to expand...

it is a stage that every baby and mommy will go through multiple times. giving them something cold to suck on seem to lessen the irritation. A biting toy sometimes seems to lessen the irritation, too. When things get difficult, just tell yourself, it is just a phase. it will pass. Cheers!
 
I have been SAHM for 3 years with no help at all too. My mum stay too far away. And my in laws' health isn't good. I have a 7 year old boy and 3 year old girl. Quite hectic at first. Now getting better. Really don't be fussy on the cleanliness of the house. Just get cute boxes to dump all their toys in. I also got the kids to help me dust their own rooms. They love to help. They also help me mop the place when I am done with one round.
For meals wise , I plan easy to cook meals like soup and porridge. Recently purchase a small slow cooker to make porridge. Not bad. I believe they are having a sale at Qoo10 now.
http://www.qoo10.sg/gmkt.inc/Mobile/Goods/Goods.aspx?goodscode=469817100&stcode=636
 
Mayochuu said:
Hi timmerin,

Milk thrush getting better but doc says still need to apply medication on my nipple and baby's gum for another 3 weeks to totally clear out the infection. I hope we both recover asap so I can latch on directly.

I am using ridwind too, works quite well for me as well. And yah I have a cup of coffee almost everyday, getting better coping with the tiredness, more like the lack of time to express bm is a headache now.

Thanks for the offer and concern<3
Click to expand...

icic it sounds tough to express bm when ur baby needs ur constant inputs like carrying and holding. and because u arent latching, the baby will need other ways to be soothed and i believe u will hv to rely on other methods of soothing like rocking n patting ba...

i probably will try side baby wear baby n i will 1 hand hold the pump? need a very long extension cord so i can walk around the house? other than that... maybe pumping when baby takes that 30 min cat nap? hope u can latch on soon!
 
Aksram said:
Mommies cud u share how u managing babies when they r teething

My bb going through this stage with refusal of foods,fussy all times.. Without help its really difficult to manage..
Suggestions are welcome
Click to expand...
same here lei... teething stage is no fun... i m using cold (refrigerated) teethers, cold fruits for him to suck n bite (he loves watermelon), whatever rocks baby's world... like silicon drinking straws for kids that was for my older child... pd told me i can also give paracetamol at worst but i dont intend to give.

i sometimes give him the cold teether just before i feed him his meal. it helps him eat better sometimes.
 
Aksram said:
Mommies cud u share how u managing babies when they r teething

My bb going through this stage with refusal of foods,fussy all times.. Without help its really difficult to manage..
Suggestions are welcome
Click to expand...

I... gave in to using teething gel! dentinox teething gel works wonder for my girl when she was teething !
 
Ok I try ..

Is it common that poop Colour n consistency change during teething ?

And cold common during teething
 
Mayochuu said:
Hi timmerin,

Milk thrush getting better but doc says still need to apply medication on my nipple and baby's gum for another 3 weeks to totally clear out the infection. I hope we both recover asap so I can latch on directly.

I am using ridwind too, works quite well for me as well. And yah I have a cup of coffee almost everyday, getting better coping with the tiredness, more like the lack of time to express bm is a headache now.

Thanks for the offer and concern<3
Click to expand...


Hi there, hope your thrush getting better. I had it too and thankfully it cleared up but latching was reallllly painful w thrush hor, have to pump.. I hated the milk thrush!
I researched a lot on it at that time and found grapefruit seed extract is a recommended natural cure and prevention. I tried all the common pharmacies in sg but couldn't find it so bought them overseas and ship it in. If you want I still have one unopened not expired bottle that I can offer at token price since I don't need anymore.

Me a newbie sahm here! Kiddo is 18 mths. Will love it if there are other mummies with same age kids who wants to hv play dates in sengkang.
 
ding2505 said:
Hi there, hope your thrush getting better. I had it too and thankfully it cleared up but latching was reallllly painful w thrush hor, have to pump.. I hated the milk thrush!
I researched a lot on it at that time and found grapefruit seed extract is a recommended natural cure and prevention. I tried all the common pharmacies in sg but couldn't find it so bought them overseas and ship it in. If you want I still have one unopened not expired bottle that I can offer at token price since I don't need anymore.

Me a newbie sahm here! Kiddo is 18 mths. Will love it if there are other mummies with same age kids who wants to hv play dates in sengkang.
Click to expand...

Hello!

So glad to hear same experience! Lucky you recovered! My got worse, and Baby and me both on probiotics plus some oral gel now. How long did it take for you to totally clear them out?
 
Mayochuu said:
Hello!

So glad to hear same experience! Lucky you recovered! My got worse, and Baby and me both on probiotics plus some oral gel now. How long did it take for you to totally clear them out?
Click to expand...
Took a couple of weeks to totally clear I think ( don't really rem v clearly ...) Do you latch or pump normally? I did the oral gel thing too. Lemme know if you want the grapefruit seed extract, you can google abt it. :) it's recommended that you take probiotics while eating that too, so as to maintain the good bacteria while the bad is being killed off.
 
Hi,
I worked about 10 years then become a PT SAHM now. I struggled 18mths looking after my no.2 alone but recruited a PT ad hoc bbsitter once or twice weekly, 3 hours then I go exercise or quick shopping to unwind.
I have 2 girls : now N1 and K2 in childcare Centres. Return at 5pm by sch bus.
I have been working 1 year Part Time (to claim CC full subsidy) 3 weekdays' half days till 230pm as warehouse packer (dusty and sweaty), go grocery shop and home by 330pm to make simple dinner. All rush thru the day till 9+pm then daddy return. My off time is after the kids sleep like 11pm. The other 2 weekdays are my 'rest days' but still do housechore. I finally surrendered and quit the PT job and looking for another.


I need some advice here: Is there a demand for home-cooked soup delivery for lunch and how much a pack would you consider? I am a SAHM and I am thinking to make some earnings since I cook soup (no MSG) for my kids for weekdays' dinner. Thanks in advance.
 
Last edited:
ashgray77 said:
Hi,
I need some advice here: Is there a demand for home-cooked soup delivery for lunch and how much a pack would you consider? I am a SAHM and I am thinking to make some earnings since I cook soup (no MSG) for my kids for weekdays' dinner. Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

You can try googling Heartland Chefs.
 
Is there a WhatsApp group? I am also taking care alone 14th mth old girl and boy. Trying my best but sometimes overwhelming..
 


You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

I
Support Group for TTC
Replies
3
Views
3K
jamieogh
J
G
Need Help Shortlisting OB/GYNs
Replies
2
Views
735
CHLEFI
C
L
Confinement Nanny to recommend - Li Jie
Replies
0
Views
321
LalaMANx
L
D
Seeking Advice and Support: Pregnant in a War Zone
Replies
0
Views
519
deemaGaza
D
G
Recommendation for confinement nanny - Hor Yxxx Cxxx, Qing Jie
Replies
5
Views
1K
Wendy TWL
W

Back
Top