I'm feeling quite disturbed reading through this board, even though the conversation took place so many years ago.
Why do people see giving money to their parents as a burdensome expense to be fulfilled only if they have sufficient left after deducting everything else, including savings component - which, let's face it, will never be enough. How we regard our children is exactly how our parents used to regard us. How terrible, if such love, affection and devotion are repaid by our children's scorn and disregard.
It has never been an issue of whether my parents are able to support themselves for they are well off. Nevertheless, when I started working in my teens doing those holiday jobs, I would give everything to my parents, leaving just enough for my daily expenses. When I started working full-time, I had to set aside more of my pay because I was living by myself but I still gave my parents a good 20% of my monthly pay and on top of that, a supplementary credit card AND I would change pocket money for them when they are going on overseas trips. Now that I am doing much better (though still nothing compared to my parents), I offered to pay for my brother's living expenses while they paid for his university fees. Do I earn so much that these expenses don't bite? No, I feel it every time when my savings and bank account dip. I don't earn that much and they have never asked anything from me which I did not volunteer to give.
So, why do I do this? Am I stupid?
No. I do this because I love them. It is because I know how in our lean years, my father did a lot to carry us through the tough times, and my mom would do a few jobs just to ensure I had pocket money. I do this because I want my brother to learn that as a family, we care for each other and love each other. it is human nature to count the costs, but we must try to prevent ourselves from doing so where family is concerned.
And my parents, knowing where I am coming from, has never once asked me for money. Never once. In fact, once I started paying for my brother, my mom gently told me to stop giving her allowance because it would otherwise be too tight for me and my new family. When I am having problems, my parents would still drop everything to come to me. When I needed financial assistance for my new home, my dad without a word forked out the down payment - thereby wiping out everything I've ever given to them.
How do you keep count between family? I wonder if my family would be the same if I had kept count of every penny and every cent. I probably would be richer by a penny, but poorer in so many other ways.
If I were a SAHM, I don't think my husband would stop me from apportioning a portion of my allowance to my parents. After all, they are the reason I exist. But if my parents were having problems surviving and need money, I probably wouldn't think of being a SAHM....
Of course, my 'essay' above is premised on my responsible parents, who have done a lot for their children. I do know many people have gripes against their parents...