Sahm Allowance !


Active Member
Can i ask?? some may view as a very sensitive subject, basically, it's jus a topic to share.......

wats the average allowance of a sahm in sg? or do u control the entire hubby's paycheck!! (NICE!!
) wat do u ve to pay for with ur allowance??

is it sufficient? if not, can u share with us wat u do to get/demand more?

I'm interested to know too.

I will be quitting my job once i give birth.

Currently, as hubby and i have our own income, we don't control each other spending much and he paid most of our food and household expenses. Therefore my initial thinking is just to get a couple of hundred as my allowance as I can still charge to the supp. card for any shopping or baby expenses

However, when I informed my parents that I will not be able to give them their allowance (not just a small gesture sum of one, two hundred and I live with my IL) after i quit my job, but they demand I get it from hubby. I feel quite unfair to my hubby that I'm not contributing to the househould (money wise) and I still need to get money from him to supplement my parents on top of my expenses.


New Member
my hubby credits his salary into my account. I fund transfer to him for his lunch expenses & use the balance to pay for all expenses like utilities, credit cards (including the cards he sub to me), groceries, basically everything lah

he prefers this arrangement so that he doesn't have to worry about paying bills at all

I tried to be as thrifty as possible lor. If got balance can save for our retirement mah. Very scary if old & penniless

Fortunately my parents don't need my contribution because my brother is supporting them. However I still give them a token sum each month lah.
Hubby doesn't mind because I painted him the scenario what if our daughters decided to be SAHMs in future? we eat grass? Of course we should get allowances from our son in laws


New Member
came across this thread. Although I am a FTWM, my hubby takes a fix amount for his daily expenditure and I managed the household with both our income just like hippo2002. The good thing is, he doesnt anyhow spend with spare cash (as he doesnt hv any.. hee hee), and I can do some savings along the way..

how much shd a SAHM has really depends on how u do your sums. For myself, I tabulate out my entire household monthly expediture list which includes the car instalment, the house bills, insurance, kids school fee, et etc... and that gives me an idea how much money i need to run my household. As for SAHM own allowances, its really subjective on how much your DH is earning, if he has a big paycheck, 1k to 2k is no problem, but if he is just taking home a 3-5k salary, then i guess 10% of the take home amount would be an average bah...
Hi Sleepy resolutions,
May i know how much you give your parents or percentage of your hubby pay?

Currently, my parents have demanded almost 50% of my take home pay (which has displease my hubby), but manage to persuade them to 25% (which my hubby still unhappy especially our expenses are going up with the incoming of the baby).

Hi Foliage,
if based on the assumption that i get a 10% of my hubby take home amount, even i don't spend a single cent, I still cannot meet my parents demand.


New Member
hi greengrape,

My thoughts were :

2 things u did wrongly. Firstly, why in the first place did u allow yr parents know about your pay? Secondly, why allow them to demand? Sorry to say that... but for the sake of self interest, i never give out my actual pay amount, even to my parents. Though they dont demand and I can give any amount i deem fit for them. Of course, my new year ang bao and birthdays gift are of substantial value to the best of my ability lah.

In your situation, if your parents are so demanding and asked for 25% of your paycheck, I guess u can't be a SAHM.

But if no choice, I guess u have to work out your sums, give them an amount u think is at your best effort. Bear in mind now that u have your own family, interest of the your family comes before anything else. While you are doing this, I guess you cannot splurge on branded stuff, no long vacation for the next couple of years and you just have to be more discreet in your spending.

At the end of the day, if you cannot afford to give in to their demands, you hav to thrash it out and work out a balance. Well, they cant put a knife to your throat and ask u for money right.. At max, during negotation, the relationship will go a little sour, but it will cool off... when they want to see their grandchild..

Think of the worst case scenario that will happen, eg, if you tell them that 200 is the max u can afford now. Pre-empt their reaction, be prepared to know how to deal with such reactions. Stand firm, have your own reasons at your fingertips. You wont lose out..

Good luck.
Hi Foliage.

I didn't really allow my parents to know about my pay. It just that I have only been working less than 3 years. Therefore they can estimate my pay based on my education level.

The relationship with my parents has began to turn sour when they ask a big sum of money as dowry. Due to certain reasons that don't meet their satisfaction, start the demand for large allowance

As I live with my inlaws and I earn the least in the household(not even half the amount of any one of them is earning). Therefore they are all supportive and have suggested for me to me a SAHM and household expenses will be all paid by them.

My only obstacle to be a SAHM is the demand of allowance of my parents (which husband has asked my to ignore and i can't ask from hubby or anyone).

However if I decide to be a FTWM in order to supply my parents allowance, I may face more problem with my inlaws and hubby (whom i live with and have to face everyday) and/or making them more displease with my parents.


New Member
hmmm... i guess u dont have much of a choice. if u hv such supportive hubby and his family... I guess u dont hv much to worry on.

As for your parents side, since when does it become compulsory for daughter to bring the bacon back. As the old saying goes, girls married out is someone else daughter, so be it lah... Like I mentioned before, its not filial not to give any cent, jus a token sum. $200 a month bah... take it or leave it.


New Member

are your parents feeling insecured? especially you are living with ILs & they can't visit you often
sometimes old folks feel that they will lose their daughter after she got married & wanted to hold on to something else for security, like cash

any other siblings supporting your parents or you are the only child?
if have siblings, maybe can seek their understanding & support?

regardless of boys or girls, our parents brought us up. I feel that it's our duty to support them at old age.

Fortunately my brother doesn't mind or demanded I share half the allowance. If my brother decided to stop contributing for whatever reasons, I will have to return to work to support my parents or find alternatives like having my parents rent out their house & squeeze in with us lor. My hubby's income cannot support both households lah

come to think of it, it's a bad investment to raise children hor? if my kids only think of their self-interest when they grow up & don't care about my well being, I will be extremely disappointed. Better start saving more for our own retirement. No wonder birth rates keep going down since everyone figured out it's not worth the effort


New Member
Hi GreenGrape,

Honestly speaking, 25% of your pay is really too much for your parents to ask. With the increasing costs of food & transport, did they give your living a thought? Why would they need so much money when they are staying home and not spending? I think you need to work hard to assure them that they need not hoard onto the money to prepare for their medical or 'guan-cai-ben' as old folks usually say so.

As for my siblings and me, we assured them that no matter what happens to them in future, they need not worry a cent about their medical or funeral expenses. So, now what we collectively giving them each month is enough for their meals, transport and a little extra for others. We all have our own families to maintain and my parents are very understanding that they also want their children & grandchildren to live well, not in debts.
Hi Sleepy Resolutions, 7Pooh

I have 2 other siblings.
I knew the view of one of them is that since i have a rich in-law and i stay with them, my income is free to do as i want, why shouldn't i contribute what my parents wants.

My parents share the same thought as my sibling. They expect my expenses to be covered by my husband (or even my in-laws if husband cannot afford)in the event i can't survived on my remaing income.

My sibling has even assume that since I can charge to hubby credit card, I don't have to help to pay when the bill come. I'll be a horrible wife if i don't help my hubby when he is swamped with bills to pay or help to contribute my share of expenses.

If raising children is investment, it is a very high risk investment. I rather view them as expenses. We have the option not to have children, but we decided to have them so we can experience parenthood. It's like having a pet, but this pet is bonded to you for life.


New Member
Then just tell your parents & sibling what you wrote here, that having rich in law or hubby earning well, does not equate that they can rob you of your income right? Explain that you'll still need to help your hubby with the expenses payments.

Honestly speaking, $ always strain kinship. You have to find your own solutions to handle such sensitive issue. But one wise advice to you, everything there has to be a limit, including your allowance giving to your parents.
Thanks for the comments.

That's why hubby asked me to ignore them and asked "What happen if i marry a poor guy? What kind of parent will still demand such kind of things"


Active Member
Hi All,

I am consider lucky to have understanding parents when I was a SAHM for 20 months (going to beoome SAHM again tomorrow as today is my las tday of work).

My hubby is not earning a lot, so all his salary is managed by me. I will pay all the bills and after that nothing much left liao, not to sav i have allowance. But I not demanding lah, just live simple.

My parents amd in law did not demand any allowance from us when I was not working, so they consider quite good lor.


Agreed with the idea to never think kids as investment but expense, if your expectation to high on them, nothing but yourself be dissapointed.
My parents is the worst case, they did not pay for my education but they have cost me an arm and a leg, maybe soon my marriage.

Costing you your marriage??!! Can't you just try to ignore your parents? I know it sound unfilial, (cause that's what i trying to do ), but it better than making ourselves miserable because of them.


New Member
Before SAHM, i gave lots $$ to my parents every month. After becoming SAHM, i no longer contribute to my parents. Initially my parents are not happy, but i express my feeling to my mum. As i no longer can afford to give them $ like last time. As now i m building my family as well. slowly they accept my situation. now only occasionally i give to them, and that's also small amount. So talk to your mum, mother will always understanding.


I've told my mum that I need to save up for the kids future.. last time I saved up and earn my own education fees.. then save up and help to pay for younger siblings education.. after that save up for my own marriage and part-time course.. now that the family (mum and siblings) no longer had any outstanding big expenditure, it's time I save up for the kids as they're the one in needs now. My mum understand this so she only take a token from me and never think that earn more must give her more.


Member nice if I can control hubby's paycheck! Hee...but i am no good at managing finance lah.

I am a part-time working mum for half a yr liao. Only recently hubby started gimme portion of his paycheck cos I cannot survive on mine alone now. About 50% of my current salary goes to parent's allowance cos they are caring for my 2 boys while I am at work. Hubby gives me 1k for groceries and spendings on the kids. I will try to save part of it cos don't think hubby has much savings either (he pays for the car, bills, loans etc.).

Side-track a bit. Saw on news last night that a gal (on some school support program) comes from a family of 4, has a household income of less than 1k! Come to think of it, we are really very fortunate


New Member
Hi green grape,

I think a good amt or appropriate amt to give to yr parents is the amt that ur hubby gives to his own parents. Thats the only fair thing since he is the sole breadwinner.

I think it is only right to give some allowance to your parents be it from u or from ur hubby coz its yr parents who brought u up.
Imagine if u asked ur hubby to cut cost from cutting from his own parent's allowance, i dont think he will be in favour of it. So just let him know, u have parents too.. and they need to be respected. But dont have to adhere to the 25% that ur parents fixed, that will b quite unreasonable.


New Member
Hi everyone! Just sharing my reading to this thread, i think we should start thinking for long long the future.

Nowadays, everything is so expensive! Salary no increase, even more job opening is decreasing....lots of people fighting for the same portion. Not to mention, we demand so many commercial things such as handphones, cars, nice clothes, branded toys how to cope?

Can you imagine what's gonna happen when our kids at our ages? World is more crowded-they will more busy to fulfill their needs and feel squeeze at the same time.

So can't expect much from them then...that's way we need to save money for retirement day. Don't give any burden to them.

I've been desciplined myself to save bit portion of money every month. Keep them on three separate accounts. One account for my boys (for their future need) and one for Hubby & I when we grow old.

Not much! But at least, i'm trying. I am stay home mom too.


New Member
my frend is a sahm,her hubb(my cuzin) is a policeman..earning abt $2.3-$2.5 a month..
i think her allowance is abt $300 just for herself..the rest is for bills,insurance,household..


New Member
Green grape,

no wonder your parents not happy... your in-laws have more income than your hubby, so maybe your parents err think you should have lots of money yourselves...?

I also hold to the value that we should be filial to our parents, but we must also be wise not to be emotionally blackmailed and cause our own children suffer because of the older generation problems..


New Member
I am FTWM so I dont dare not to work cos HB is not earn lots. HB only occasionally gives to his parents. Thinking that we need to save for our future and ours is hard-earned money, I feel that it's correct that we should prioritize our own family instead of parents..


New Member
Hi all,

I give a monthly allowance to my parents since I'm the only son. I give it to them upfront though in 3 or 6 month periods since they stay overseas. The amount changes a bit due to currency fluctuations but usually it averages out to around 1500 - 2000 SGD per month and once a year maybe around 3-5K additional as pocket money for holidays and such. Also together with my older sister we paid off the mortgage for my parents home (our childhood home many years back).

My sister when she graduated medical school took a loan and bought my father a brand new car (toyota) which was one of my father's wishes to own a new car. I got my mother some nice jewelry and branded stuff like bags, wallets and so on.

And recently my parents sold their house and upgraded to a much nicer townhouse closer to be with my sister so they can babysit my nieces easier. My sister topped the difference and I also plan to help some additional when my finances allow (ie next pay rise). My brother in law as far as i'm aware has not raised any objections and seems ok with it. My sister makes her own money though so I guess it's not all coming from his pockets. Plus he is a pretty easy going and nice guy.

I guess based on my personal experiences it doesn't really matter if it's son or daughter it's how you raise your kids and whether your kids do well financially and are in position to help that defines whether they are good "investment" or not. At least in our case my sister and I we have been lucky and fortunate enough to give a substantial amount to enable our parents to enjoy a standard of living that is on the higher end and enjoy their older age. They struggled many years when we were young and we never forgot that and always appreciate what our parents struggled for us.

My sister has advantage. She earns a lot, so does her husband, and her in-laws do very well themselves (all of them are specialists and earn the big bucks). that allows her to be more generous. I hope though even if that were not true, she would still help out and same for me, as much as we could.

I guess as long as all children give what they can, then parents should appreciate. If no income and hubby also does not make a lot, then parents should be understanding and just have to struggle together. However if doing ok, should help out a lot more even if that means can't upgrade car, or buy stuff. Then parents can only be grateful and not unhappy even if amount is nothing or a couple hundred a month.


New Member
Just to share too cos this topic is very close to my heart...

I'm a SAHM for about 1 year since the birth of my son. My hubby brings home about $3k+ every month (inclusive of car allowance) and on some months $4k if he works lots of OT. Each month we have to give his parents $600 (cut down from $1k);my parents $400 & my grandma $200. So total giving out is $1200. The car cost $500 each month. Insurance $300. So left about $1000+ for our own household. Not much left for savings

Like GreenGrapes, I also have the money issue with my mum. She was very upset when I keep cutting back the money I gave her. Initally, I have to pay back my uni loan of $400 each month and I give her half my pay each month (about $1K) cos I was working but I explained now I can't afford that. She kept asking me why I don't continue working and keeps complaining that she dun have money. Sometimes she also mentioned how stingy my hubby is with the dowry amount (we pay for our own wedding without help my either side of parents & my mum says I'm stupid cos she rationalise that weddings should be borne by the guy). I had since learnt to turn a deaf ear to all these. Sometimes I feel very unfilial but what to do?

When thinking on the long term I realise that in order not to stress my children I have to save for his education and our retirement but lookin at our savings now.... sigh.

I had to be a SAHM cos both sides of parents can't look after my boy. My ILs too old & my mum requests for a maid if I want her to take care of him. If put in childcare, the school fees (& medical fees) will not be worth me working. So now I give tuition on weekends so at least the money I earn is sufficient for 'giving out' and my hubby's pay can set aside a bit for savings....


New Member
By the way to answer to the poster's question. My allowance as a SAHM is to save & scrimp. I limit myself to $300 each month including groceries.


I'm a working mum but me too keep cutting down on the allowance to my own mum ever since the first kid is borned..
But my mum is able to 'kan4 kai1' and knows her own needs.. as long as enuff for her daily expenses and some extra for her to give out to relatives (eg. wedding ang pao) or buy things for grandkids she's happy liao..
Can see that now she spent her money on her grandkids.. buying them clothings, shoes, toys or preparing good meals during weekend. I think for her to think this way, she must have a good sense of security and a very trusted relationship with her children (our family very close).


I'll b a SAHM too once my baby's born next Jan. Currently I'm taking home tuition (as a foundation for next year) and i'll be using the money as my personal usage + contribution to joint savings.

Currently my HB & I are contributing to my parents an amt of $750 but I'd informed them that i'll gradually decrease to $400 when the maid & baby arrives. They're agreeable (thank goodness) and since they'll be able to get their own income soon, there's no course for worry.

So far, HB & me have not sit down to discuss this but I guess our joint contribution will be used for baby, household as well as bills. Since HB says he's confident of fetching back sufficient amt, I'm not gonna douse him any cold water by doubting him. :p


New Member
hi all,
i was sahm 9 yr ago. from the start hubby gave every mth $600. all expenses on him. after 1yr i start ask for more bec my hubby is working 12hr shift which i dont see him until late night. and i actually went to stay with my brother and mum during the week day, he will come fetch us on friday night and send us to brother house on sunday night again. so i told him it is very inconvenient if i need extra money for my kids child care(at my brother place) and i also tell him i dont like the feeling asking money from ppl, bec i use to be a financial independent. so in the end he give me few k including maid allow. he also will give my mum $600 every mth bec mu helping to look after my kids.Now im wokring.


I am a SAHM for 2 years. My hubby will not let definetly not let me control his pay!

My parents do not expect me to give them any money as I am not working. However I think I should give some esp when we can afford it. I gave them $300 for the first year.

Now that my hubby increase my allowance, I give my parents $800 every month. He give me a fixed allowance (this allowance is for my personal use) and everything like groceries, insurance, hp bills are paid by him.

I am thinking in dabbling some shares to 'earn some income'. Anyone doing that?


New Member

if u have no experience and no knowledge of the financial market. Don't touch shares at all. Too risky. If u have spare cash, I think its best to go to a good independent financial planner (not those tied to a certain brand like Prudential, AIA, GE etc..) to see if you and your family is adequately covered for emergency and crisis and then go for some save investment for retirement.. There are a lot of financal instrument out there, but whether they suit your needs anot is any issue.


sahm allowance!

i stay home from last yr aug, due to complicated pregnancy. husband give a little allowance which r still not enough for my mthly fixed expenses (insurance, phone bill n etc). Yes, i tried to demand for more n increase a little more until this yr jan. i can save less than $100 aft deduct my expenses. he still asked who pay for it? when he saw me take sanitary pad, he asked me to pay for my own breakfast when we eat outside, he asked me to pay half when we dine outside. he will nv let me know how much he has cos his sis said wife will demand for more money if wife got to know husband income.


New Member
I really hope blue took foliage about being careful about investing in financial market. What a good advice that turned out to be. lol.

JC, I think you better find start getting used to eating plain rice with soy sauce. Your hubby gonna cut costs due to economy and your meals might become a luxury instead of a necessity.


siti, NO. im learning driving now n i pay for it.
lucky have a little of saving but gonna finished liao.

fatherof1, u a dad? ur wife sahm? did u give her allowance?


New Member
JC if I not a dad I dun think I create my name as fatherof1. My sign in name would be singleguylookingtodatemarriedwomen or maybe noseyguy or maybe boliaochampion.

Yup my wife is a SAHM. And yes I give her allowance. Or used to. Now I don't. Problem was in addition to allowance my wife had the habit of going through my wallet on a daily basis and cleaning me out. Nothing more embarrasing than going out to lunch with colleagues and finding a IOU note in place of money when it comes to pay up. Lucky i'm a boss so I just get my guys to pay. So now I dun give her upfront, she just takes from my wallet. Also she has credit card which I pay for so that takes care of any expensive stuff she needs to buy or grocery shopping. She also knows how to forge my signature so my cheque book not safe either. Basically my wife has 3 forms of income:
- My wallet (cash for incidentals)
- Credit card (regular expenditures and big expenditures)
- Cheque book (anything large that can be formally justified such as pre-school bills)

Any my wife still complains. I need a new wife. You interested JC? You got bad end of stick. So do I but in reverse direction. Let's match your husband to my wife and we two can pair of. LOL.


fatherof1, lucky of your wife. so basically u pay everything. n i still pay for my own. well, until my bank kosong, i will consider your offer :p heheeee....


New Member
Hi Blueblue,

I personally felt that both parties should be open and honest on their earnings. As a wife, you have all the rights to know your husband earnings. To know is only fair; not to demand more $$ from him. If your husband is mature enough, he should understand that, what is there to hide if both of you are building your own nest together?

For me, I do not have kids yet, but we know each other earnings. Basically we put aside a fixed monthly amount for paying credit card bills, insurance and car installment. We will keep aside some savings and the rest will be shared equally. Like for my spare cash, I will occasionally spend on sprees, scrapbooking materials, books and clothes. For my DH, he will spend his spare cash on his car.

I mean that's a fair share, we never grumble, criticize or quarrel on why you buy this or that. I mean, since we already chose to be together in the first place, why make yourself miserable?

Everyday is a new and exciting day. I rather be happy and smiling than comparing with others. Well, I am just a simple minded woman who is easily contented with life. I do not care if my colleagues, my neighbours or relatives are having a better life than me, because I believed happiness is created by yourself. If you are not rich, you can also lead a fulfilling life because you will treasure what you have more and not take for granted as you work hard for it.



I enjoy reading your posts. You r really funny and give gd advice too..hahaha

As for myself..when i'm working and earn 2k a month, I spend all of it... but when i don't work and get 1000 dollars from hubby, i only spend half and save the other i think i better dont work la


i'm going to be sahm soon...i dont expect my hb to give me an allowance as he is footing all bills.

i'll get my allowance from rental income.

as for parents... they are the reason why i am holding off being a sahm. they raised me, so i feel it's just right to honor then with monthly allowance.

Now i have 3 kids and my parents are not young anymore, hence i want to give them freedom (they are looking after my kids). my parent are very understanding and do not expect me to give them an allowance if i am not working. They are blessed with 3 children, me being the youngest, i have bro and sis who give my parents monthly allowance too.

but i will still give my parents a token amt every month. They are my parents, i just cannot bear to not provide for them (though they do not need my money). they have sacrifice so much for us when we were younger... now that i m a mother of 3, i know how a parent wants to be treated in their old age. I can buy lesser clothings/extras for ourselves, our kids.. save this $ and give it to my parents.


you are funny haha.... my hb also always joke he needs a new wife coz i nag at him too much i say i need a new hb who can auto around the hse so i dont nag.... so i tell him, be nice first, he'll get a wonderful wife in return haha


New Member

Your logic is spot on. I guess you did good in mathematics. You better not work as you have more money that way. I agree.

It's funny when I write it. But trust me, when I get the credit card bill monthly and accumulated cheque spends, it's not really that funny. I always have to berate my wife to be more prudent. She always sincerely says she will try. Then the cycle repeats itself the next month.


New Member
hi all..

how much do u give ur wife if she's not working?do u give her allowance for her and baby both? if a guy earning 4k plus and gives his wife and baby 1.4k is this enough?


New Member
Hi Kelly

I do not get any allowances from my husband. He just pay for all the expenses of the entire household e.g groceries, bills, kids' stuff etc...

I do not ask for any allowances becoz I know his salary is about enough for the family. He also pays for the petrol for my car.

I try not to buy anything for myself if possible and keep my savings as untouched as possible.

My husband is thoughtful and will offer to pay for my stuffs ...

Discuss with your husband and work out your finances before reaching an agreement.