Need help. Not too sure why but my boy has anger management issue. I have been reading online for information and speculate it may be due to exposure to violence and anger from young. He was physically abused by his dad from young (slapped on face etc) and exposed to a lot of shouting and scolding by his dad. I have since left my husband, unfortunately I realized that my boy may already be suffering from some psychological impacts. He gets angry quickly and sometimes for no reason at all. When he calms down, I would ask why he got angry just now. Most of the times he got no answer for me and at times he just looked at me sadly and said he does not know why he was angry. It breaks my heart to see such a young boy having problem he could not deal with. And I am really really concerned he may grow up to be exactly like his dad. What can I do to help him? Should I bring him for counseling or therapy? Anyone with similar problems? Would really appreciate some advice here please.
My 4-year-old boy has anger management issue
- Thread starter singlem
- Start date
Lambi
Well-Known Member
Hi ko
sounds like your child is under lots of stress and yes likely he learnt from his father. It also might because of the separation of your ex and you that resulted it. Children suffer from stress as well as adults and they will manifest into temper tantrums, withdrawal and a whole lot of other problems. Try pin pointing where and when his temper flare up. And try to distract him/let him let off steam using sports or outdoor activities. Is he going to school/kindy somewhere? Talk to the teacher and see how you both and work together to tone him down. You can read more here http://www.nasponline.org/resources/behavior/tantrums_ho.aspx ..hope you'll find the support you need soon..*hugs*
sounds like your child is under lots of stress and yes likely he learnt from his father. It also might because of the separation of your ex and you that resulted it. Children suffer from stress as well as adults and they will manifest into temper tantrums, withdrawal and a whole lot of other problems. Try pin pointing where and when his temper flare up. And try to distract him/let him let off steam using sports or outdoor activities. Is he going to school/kindy somewhere? Talk to the teacher and see how you both and work together to tone him down. You can read more here http://www.nasponline.org/resources/behavior/tantrums_ho.aspx ..hope you'll find the support you need soon..*hugs*
Ko, what you might want to consider is some professional help. There are a number of family services in Singapore - Fei Yue FSC, Marine Parade FSC etc. Some of the them engages the professional private practice counsellors - but these counsellors charges 10% of their private fees - $15 to $20.
They might be able to help access the situation better - instead of us trying to figure it out here. The thing about children is they often suffers the worst - but they also heal very quickly. Good luck!
They might be able to help access the situation better - instead of us trying to figure it out here. The thing about children is they often suffers the worst - but they also heal very quickly. Good luck!
Thanks both. Really appreciate your responses. Yes I do want to consider professional help coz I dun think I am equipped to manage this situation. Will check with the FSC you mentioned. Hopefully they got professionals who specialized in kids. 4yo seems so young.
I did speak to his childcare teacher who mentioned that he is ok at school just that after I left my husband, my son seems quite insecure at school and wanted more attention from his teachers. Am working with the teachers to help watch out for my boy. His temper seems to be targeted at me most of the times. Am not too sure if he is subconsciously copying the behavior of his daddy coz his daddy also vented anger on me frequently when we were together. And my boy being so young may not be able tell right from wrong, and just copy his daddy's behavior.
Haiz. Worrying.
I did speak to his childcare teacher who mentioned that he is ok at school just that after I left my husband, my son seems quite insecure at school and wanted more attention from his teachers. Am working with the teachers to help watch out for my boy. His temper seems to be targeted at me most of the times. Am not too sure if he is subconsciously copying the behavior of his daddy coz his daddy also vented anger on me frequently when we were together. And my boy being so young may not be able tell right from wrong, and just copy his daddy's behavior.
Haiz. Worrying.
moorspa7
Member
Ko,
Most likely he is learning from his dad if his anger is mostly targeted towards you. He is also feeling insecure at the same time with the parents separation. Do you discipline him when he throws tantrums? Kids do imitate parent's behaviour esp the one who is more aggressive, I am speaking from personal experience. However, do provide yr son with a lot of emotional support as he is also handling parent's separation at the same time. Kids feel insecure easily and they are sensitive to any changes in the family. Yr son is too young to know why he is angry, give him lots of emotional support but draw boundaries when his anger is out of control. He still needs discipline at his age.
Do bring him for counselling if you do not know the root cause.
Most likely he is learning from his dad if his anger is mostly targeted towards you. He is also feeling insecure at the same time with the parents separation. Do you discipline him when he throws tantrums? Kids do imitate parent's behaviour esp the one who is more aggressive, I am speaking from personal experience. However, do provide yr son with a lot of emotional support as he is also handling parent's separation at the same time. Kids feel insecure easily and they are sensitive to any changes in the family. Yr son is too young to know why he is angry, give him lots of emotional support but draw boundaries when his anger is out of control. He still needs discipline at his age.
Do bring him for counselling if you do not know the root cause.
HI Ko
I got to know this Professional Cetified Hypnotherpist.
He actually treats ADHD, attention deficiency hyperactive children, children with computer addiction
for adults, he also helps with depression, anxiety disorder, smoking and all sorts of addiction.
If u r interested, do let me know
I got to know this Professional Cetified Hypnotherpist.
He actually treats ADHD, attention deficiency hyperactive children, children with computer addiction
for adults, he also helps with depression, anxiety disorder, smoking and all sorts of addiction.
If u r interested, do let me know
babyink
Member
Hi Ko, I also have 4yo son
At this age, I feel boys will need alot of guiding from their father. Maybe you can try to let him spend time with someone close like his grandfather, uncles etc.
Its tough to be a single mum because there is only so much a mom can do and can never replace a father. So don't put all the stress on yourself , and rope in help from your family members to give your son more love and warmth can help too....
Its tough to be a single mum because there is only so much a mom can do and can never replace a father. So don't put all the stress on yourself , and rope in help from your family members to give your son more love and warmth can help too....
