Mummies staying at Fernvale
- Thread starter doreamon
- Start date
Fi,
yah lor.. yest rained.. tot got chance go ur hse.. but ian wk up at 6.30pm fr his nap! sigh...
Pingping,
I will try FV Pt salon the next time.... will prob have to lug a portable DVD player along to play my boy's fave thomas show. hehe... Thks for the rec!
Tigress,
I finally saw ur boy at Kindertots today... was there when ur maid came to pick him up. He seemed reluctant to leave sch... hehe..
yah lor.. yest rained.. tot got chance go ur hse.. but ian wk up at 6.30pm fr his nap! sigh...
Pingping,
I will try FV Pt salon the next time.... will prob have to lug a portable DVD player along to play my boy's fave thomas show. hehe... Thks for the rec!
Tigress,
I finally saw ur boy at Kindertots today... was there when ur maid came to pick him up. He seemed reluctant to leave sch... hehe..
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
You can give a call to the Toni Int'l Salon before you go. The number is 6315 3390. Only the male hairstylist know how to cut/shave kids' hair. You can double check and ask which hairstylist knows how to cut/shave kids' hair, cos it's been a long time since I hv been there.
You can give a call to the Toni Int'l Salon before you go. The number is 6315 3390. Only the male hairstylist know how to cut/shave kids' hair. You can double check and ask which hairstylist knows how to cut/shave kids' hair, cos it's been a long time since I hv been there.
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
I agree with you, looking after 2 kids 24/7 is not easy. I think I can' be like my mum taking care of 3 kids and never thought of hving her time to herself. I also can go crazy, not that I don't like to take care of my kids but I really need time out. Kids nowadays are more demanding, no matter how strict you can be with them. They can really make you go crazy sometimes. All I can say it's not easy being parents or kids in this century. Kids hv to face stress in studies cos of the high standard set by MOE. We are also stress cos we are afraid that they can't keep up with their studies. It's already shown in the 9pm show from Mon to Fri. With the high living standard, it just doesn't make things easier.
I agree with you, looking after 2 kids 24/7 is not easy. I think I can' be like my mum taking care of 3 kids and never thought of hving her time to herself. I also can go crazy, not that I don't like to take care of my kids but I really need time out. Kids nowadays are more demanding, no matter how strict you can be with them. They can really make you go crazy sometimes. All I can say it's not easy being parents or kids in this century. Kids hv to face stress in studies cos of the high standard set by MOE. We are also stress cos we are afraid that they can't keep up with their studies. It's already shown in the 9pm show from Mon to Fri. With the high living standard, it just doesn't make things easier.
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
I understand what you mean, sometimes I hv the same thoughts as you. Being a SAHM, there's no off days. Sometimes husband don't know the hardship that I hv to go through, esp when I am sick and I hv to take care of the children. They become more demanding when I am sick as I am less efficient in meeting their needs. There are those times when I just feel like pack my bags and go.
I understand what you mean, sometimes I hv the same thoughts as you. Being a SAHM, there's no off days. Sometimes husband don't know the hardship that I hv to go through, esp when I am sick and I hv to take care of the children. They become more demanding when I am sick as I am less efficient in meeting their needs. There are those times when I just feel like pack my bags and go.
Morning mums!! Started off wif a bad start this morning... Dan threw a tantrum and didnt want to put on shoes.. Suddenly didnt know hw to put on shoes.. gt so upset wif him i told him to walk without shoes.. hehehe... the poor boy went without shoes all the way to the carpark. Reach car, he said mama i wan put on shoes.. 'Miraculously' remembered hw to put on shoes... sigh........ This boy really testing my patience these few days... If ever i was to be granted a wish, i would ask for patience as a virtue.. Coz that is something which im horribly lacking in... Sigh...... Anyways..
Pingping, u ever go to the playgrd at 412 cluster? If ever lets mit up and chat.............
Pingping, u ever go to the playgrd at 412 cluster? If ever lets mit up and chat.............
Fi,
hahaha.. dan is so funny!
actually u hve more patience than me... i'll just wear the shoes for ian and grab him and go... u know.. he still insists on being carried to the carpark now.. sigh..
i guess that's why we were granted kids.... to test and train our patience! hahaha..
hahaha.. dan is so funny!
i guess that's why we were granted kids.... to test and train our patience! hahaha..
Irin,
hahahha.. that's the usual comment i hear.. even my mum thinks that the kiddos nowadays are naughtier and more demanding.
But i wonder if it's becoz our generation are less tolerant and patient than our parents when they were of the same age as us.. hee..
i guess it cuts both ways... but i admit i'm very impatient one..
hahahha.. that's the usual comment i hear.. even my mum thinks that the kiddos nowadays are naughtier and more demanding.
But i wonder if it's becoz our generation are less tolerant and patient than our parents when they were of the same age as us.. hee..
i guess it cuts both ways... but i admit i'm very impatient one..
Irin- wahahahahaha.. throw out of window... I tink i better jump alone and leave kids at hm.. Easier.. Hehehehehe...
Crayonmum- me patient???!! I tink u saw wrong person har...kekekeke...Each time i tell my mum abt my woes at hm, she will tell me n u still wan more!! Slap my own face!! No win win situatn.. then she will tell me, now u noe why u r the only one!!! Wah liao!! Im such a nuisance when i was young meh... hehehe
Hey.. watever happen to sea8.. Caliing for sea8!!!
Crayonmum- me patient???!! I tink u saw wrong person har...kekekeke...Each time i tell my mum abt my woes at hm, she will tell me n u still wan more!! Slap my own face!! No win win situatn.. then she will tell me, now u noe why u r the only one!!! Wah liao!! Im such a nuisance when i was young meh... hehehe
Hey.. watever happen to sea8.. Caliing for sea8!!!
Irin, Fi,
yah.. I think it's a boy's thing! Ian pushes my limits everyday too... but nowadays I learn to switch off.. ahhaha... so he can cry, scream and fuss and I will just ignore.
Oh... I heard fr Ian's teacher that NTUC is replacing Top Kang Supermart! That's gd news!
yah... sea8, vivienne, u gals MIA ah? hehe..
yah.. I think it's a boy's thing! Ian pushes my limits everyday too... but nowadays I learn to switch off.. ahhaha... so he can cry, scream and fuss and I will just ignore.
Oh... I heard fr Ian's teacher that NTUC is replacing Top Kang Supermart! That's gd news!
yah... sea8, vivienne, u gals MIA ah? hehe..
Vivienne,
yah.. when the weather is gd.. the teacher will bring them out .. today they went to the small mkt ...
today i saw Top Kang staff moving their goods... so i asked the cashier if they were moving out.. but she said no leh... just shifting the goods to another shelf... hmmm.....
yah.. when the weather is gd.. the teacher will bring them out .. today they went to the small mkt ...
today i saw Top Kang staff moving their goods... so i asked the cashier if they were moving out.. but she said no leh... just shifting the goods to another shelf... hmmm.....
I've been so busy this week. If I want to be SAHM, I still want a maid. When my maid goes for her Sunday off, I'm like a Siao Za Bo at home
NTUC coming? That's VERY good news.
Hey Crayonmum, u mean the teacher at Kindertots will bring children out? Hmm.. I didn't know that leh...
NTUC coming? That's VERY good news.
Hey Crayonmum, u mean the teacher at Kindertots will bring children out? Hmm.. I didn't know that leh...
Tigress,
i'm also hoping that it's true that NTUC is coming..
yah... the kids will have outdoor play just outside the centre... or the teacher will bring them out in group of 4 to walk walk... today they went to see the fishes (aquarium not the fishmonger kind.. hee) at the mini market at Fernvale Pt.
I wld also love to have a maid at home.. hehe.. but they r expensive... but gotto depend on luck to get a gd maid.. ur maid seems quite nice and capable kind...
i'm also hoping that it's true that NTUC is coming..
yah... the kids will have outdoor play just outside the centre... or the teacher will bring them out in group of 4 to walk walk... today they went to see the fishes (aquarium not the fishmonger kind.. hee) at the mini market at Fernvale Pt.
I wld also love to have a maid at home.. hehe.. but they r expensive... but gotto depend on luck to get a gd maid.. ur maid seems quite nice and capable kind...
Evening mummies... juz wanna share my plight with you... I am officially maidless again.. This new maid of mine came last week and she was a tx maid.. Previously she had 2 othr employers.. We were wary of getting a tx maid bt she looked ok and was able to answer me n understand me tat i decided to try her.. Today, i saw her letting my son put the kitchen knife back to the holder.. And all the while saying no, Danial, dont play with knife... She was holding on to his arm supporting him on the ikea stool while he was trying to put bk the knife into the hlder which was at the far end of the sink.. To cut the story short, we sent her bk to agency... I had the biggest shock of my life.. And the worse part was she wasnt remorseful abt it, still smiling to her friends at the agency... Juz sharing my story..
pingping
Active Member
Fi,
Sorry to hear that. Are you working or a SAHM? I don't like to hv a maid, cos I don't want to be ti xin tiao dan all the time. I don't trust outsiders easily, cos you never know what goes on in their minds. There are good maids too, like my neighbour's. It really depends on luck. It's really scary that yr maid let yr son handle knife, don't know what she is thinking. I read there are more nasty maids than good maids in the forum.
Tigress
Time management is important when handling children and housework alone. I hv got used to it, actually it can be done just need to get used to it. When you are used to hving a helper, you tend to be more relax. I was like that when my mum helped me, my husband was overseas for a week then. When I can't handle all the chores, I just concentrate on the important ones that need to be done while others can wait. However, it'll be great if you can afford a helper so you hv more time for yrself and kids. It'll be good to start off being independent first, then hv a helper later so you can cope if yr helper is off duty. I know it's not easy to work and handle chores after work, if it's me I don't think I can handle it. I really salute to my friend who can work, look after 2 kids and do chores, but she has no choice as she is financially tight. She told me it's very tiring but she has to go through it.
No offence to you. just writing how I feel on this.
Sorry to hear that. Are you working or a SAHM? I don't like to hv a maid, cos I don't want to be ti xin tiao dan all the time. I don't trust outsiders easily, cos you never know what goes on in their minds. There are good maids too, like my neighbour's. It really depends on luck. It's really scary that yr maid let yr son handle knife, don't know what she is thinking. I read there are more nasty maids than good maids in the forum.
Tigress
Time management is important when handling children and housework alone. I hv got used to it, actually it can be done just need to get used to it. When you are used to hving a helper, you tend to be more relax. I was like that when my mum helped me, my husband was overseas for a week then. When I can't handle all the chores, I just concentrate on the important ones that need to be done while others can wait. However, it'll be great if you can afford a helper so you hv more time for yrself and kids. It'll be good to start off being independent first, then hv a helper later so you can cope if yr helper is off duty. I know it's not easy to work and handle chores after work, if it's me I don't think I can handle it. I really salute to my friend who can work, look after 2 kids and do chores, but she has no choice as she is financially tight. She told me it's very tiring but she has to go through it.
No offence to you. just writing how I feel on this.
Fi,
Aiyoh!!! That's so dangerous.... what was she thinking man? Letting a toddler put back a knife???
Pingping,
Yes... having a maid really depends on luck.. Had abt close to 9 maids in a 20 yrs span when I was living with my parents... sad to say.. I only find 2 whom I can really trust. The rest stole, told lies and simply lacked common sense. The latest maid at my parents' has attitude prob and super fussy with food... my mum bot her chicken rice for lunch once.. and she threw the whole packet away coz she said it's not nice! And to think that she told us that she lived in a poor kampong where they only eat meat once a week.... Even I dun waste food like that.
Aiyoh!!! That's so dangerous.... what was she thinking man? Letting a toddler put back a knife???
Pingping,
Yes... having a maid really depends on luck.. Had abt close to 9 maids in a 20 yrs span when I was living with my parents... sad to say.. I only find 2 whom I can really trust. The rest stole, told lies and simply lacked common sense. The latest maid at my parents' has attitude prob and super fussy with food... my mum bot her chicken rice for lunch once.. and she threw the whole packet away coz she said it's not nice! And to think that she told us that she lived in a poor kampong where they only eat meat once a week.... Even I dun waste food like that.
Fi,
Aiyoyo... that really scare me...
These few months I'm still thinking of whether going to get a maid anot or were to put my gal to childcare.
What makes me think so long for months is bcos I also got bad experience with my previous maid when my boy was small.
Only 3 of us, my maid, my son and myself, we were going out and I asked the maid to fold the pram cos we had got a cab. She said she dunno how to fold( I had taught her a few times at home or even sometimes when we are outside going home by cab).
So I asked her to hold onto my boy hands while I will fold the pram myself. Imagine, she jus stood there by herself without holding onto my boy and that timing happened to be very heavy traffic cos after office hours and you all know la, "Taka" always so packed with Cars.
After I putted the pram into the cab, I saw her standing there like daydreaming pattern and after got onto the cab, I told her next time while either 1 of us are doing another things, the other 1 have to look after the boy and not left the boy by himself like just now along the roadside.
I told her its very dangerous. She replied me what? Oh I know "Anak MADI" mah??? Imagine she replied me like that? The taxi driver also told me, your maid not right you better be careful….
I am very scared, so that time I got no choice but to quit my job and be SAHM until my boy go K2, my auntie took over both my boy and gal now then I went back to workforce.
So getting a maid really depend on luck. My sister recently just got a maid for abt 6 or 8mths liao. She is a Philippino and used to work in Philippine hospital overall she is still ok and she is very careful abt cleanliness etc….
Aiyoyo... that really scare me...
These few months I'm still thinking of whether going to get a maid anot or were to put my gal to childcare.
What makes me think so long for months is bcos I also got bad experience with my previous maid when my boy was small.
Only 3 of us, my maid, my son and myself, we were going out and I asked the maid to fold the pram cos we had got a cab. She said she dunno how to fold( I had taught her a few times at home or even sometimes when we are outside going home by cab).
So I asked her to hold onto my boy hands while I will fold the pram myself. Imagine, she jus stood there by herself without holding onto my boy and that timing happened to be very heavy traffic cos after office hours and you all know la, "Taka" always so packed with Cars.
After I putted the pram into the cab, I saw her standing there like daydreaming pattern and after got onto the cab, I told her next time while either 1 of us are doing another things, the other 1 have to look after the boy and not left the boy by himself like just now along the roadside.
I told her its very dangerous. She replied me what? Oh I know "Anak MADI" mah??? Imagine she replied me like that? The taxi driver also told me, your maid not right you better be careful….
I am very scared, so that time I got no choice but to quit my job and be SAHM until my boy go K2, my auntie took over both my boy and gal now then I went back to workforce.
So getting a maid really depend on luck. My sister recently just got a maid for abt 6 or 8mths liao. She is a Philippino and used to work in Philippine hospital overall she is still ok and she is very careful abt cleanliness etc….
Afternoon mummies... Thanks for all your concern..
Pingping- Im a SAHM.Gt my first maid when my kiddos were 7mths old.. Aft she finished her contract we gt anthr new one.. Then this is what happen.. For me, a maid is not a necessity as i am capable of housework and looking after kids.. The BIG dilemma, is tht my kids are in a 3hr program in the morning, finish at 11am. I am their chauffer, so in btw i am left with ard 2 hrs plus to complete my hsewk, eat and breathe.. Its possible..Tried before but i find tht i have no life.. if u get what i mean.. The shops dun open till 10plus or so and if i wan to go shopping i have to either hurry or nt go.. Anthr thing is my kids nap ard 2 to 3 hrs in the afternoon so that time i like to go out and mit up wif gfs and breathe.. My kids sleep at 7.30pm latest, and if hubby is hm, he likes to go out.. After all, we all need time alone with each othr right.. Therfore main purpose of maid is to do my hsework and juz keep her ears open for when my kids are asleep.. When kids are awake they are with me.. So if i go maidless, i have to forego going out.. wahahahaha.. My parents or in laws dun stay near and we dun bother them. I dun have aby siblings to help either.. So today i ask sch if i could leave my kids longer on tues and thurs, till 1pm, thus giving me a bit more time alone.. Call me selfish or wat but i definitely need time by myself.. Im willing to forgo my nites out with hubby. Hubby is against the idea of cc coz mummy is at hm.. Im fine with that.. Anybody noes any bbsitter or childminder ard? Hehehehe.. Bk in UK, thr were lots of sitters tht we could call upon to sit our homes and kids while parents have an evening out.. Sigh.. Anyways, im happier now that thr is an arrangement with the school.. And im definitely happier home alone.. I agree having a maid is all abt luck..
Doreamon- Yeah maid is pure luck.. Or maybe im juz a bad judge..
Pingping- Im a SAHM.Gt my first maid when my kiddos were 7mths old.. Aft she finished her contract we gt anthr new one.. Then this is what happen.. For me, a maid is not a necessity as i am capable of housework and looking after kids.. The BIG dilemma, is tht my kids are in a 3hr program in the morning, finish at 11am. I am their chauffer, so in btw i am left with ard 2 hrs plus to complete my hsewk, eat and breathe.. Its possible..Tried before but i find tht i have no life.. if u get what i mean.. The shops dun open till 10plus or so and if i wan to go shopping i have to either hurry or nt go.. Anthr thing is my kids nap ard 2 to 3 hrs in the afternoon so that time i like to go out and mit up wif gfs and breathe.. My kids sleep at 7.30pm latest, and if hubby is hm, he likes to go out.. After all, we all need time alone with each othr right.. Therfore main purpose of maid is to do my hsework and juz keep her ears open for when my kids are asleep.. When kids are awake they are with me.. So if i go maidless, i have to forego going out.. wahahahaha.. My parents or in laws dun stay near and we dun bother them. I dun have aby siblings to help either.. So today i ask sch if i could leave my kids longer on tues and thurs, till 1pm, thus giving me a bit more time alone.. Call me selfish or wat but i definitely need time by myself.. Im willing to forgo my nites out with hubby. Hubby is against the idea of cc coz mummy is at hm.. Im fine with that.. Anybody noes any bbsitter or childminder ard? Hehehehe.. Bk in UK, thr were lots of sitters tht we could call upon to sit our homes and kids while parents have an evening out.. Sigh.. Anyways, im happier now that thr is an arrangement with the school.. And im definitely happier home alone.. I agree having a maid is all abt luck..
Doreamon- Yeah maid is pure luck.. Or maybe im juz a bad judge..
Hi Ping Ping,
No worries! Besides having a 22mths old toddler at home, I also have aother big baby! My husband is like a big baby, he doesn't even wash a cup. When I was heavily pregnant, I was still washing dirty socks for him.
My maid helped me great deal, if not I won't be able to enjoy valuable time with my boy.
No worries! Besides having a 22mths old toddler at home, I also have aother big baby! My husband is like a big baby, he doesn't even wash a cup. When I was heavily pregnant, I was still washing dirty socks for him.
My maid helped me great deal, if not I won't be able to enjoy valuable time with my boy.
pingping
Active Member
Fi,
I understand what you mean, cos this is what I am going through now. No life, like you my parents and PIL don't stay near either. I hv no one to help out cos my mum hv already said that I can't keep getting her to help ( I am not in gd terms with my MIL). I also wish S'pore could be like UK or USA, where they hv babysitters to look after the kids for a few hours. Then again, being a very careful person, unless it's someone I know, I would feel more at ease. I forgo my free time cos I am not comfortable with a maid in my hse. I did think of getting a maid when I had my no.2. After much consideration, I choose not to get a maid as my hse was small to accomodate another person(4room flat) and I was not comfortable with another person in the hse. Now the kids are a bit older, still not so bad but can't go out yet. Hv to wait till they are much older then can get back some of my time.
I understand what you mean, cos this is what I am going through now. No life, like you my parents and PIL don't stay near either. I hv no one to help out cos my mum hv already said that I can't keep getting her to help ( I am not in gd terms with my MIL). I also wish S'pore could be like UK or USA, where they hv babysitters to look after the kids for a few hours. Then again, being a very careful person, unless it's someone I know, I would feel more at ease. I forgo my free time cos I am not comfortable with a maid in my hse. I did think of getting a maid when I had my no.2. After much consideration, I choose not to get a maid as my hse was small to accomodate another person(4room flat) and I was not comfortable with another person in the hse. Now the kids are a bit older, still not so bad but can't go out yet. Hv to wait till they are much older then can get back some of my time.
PingPing,
hang in there.. when both ur kids go sch.. u will hve some life back.. hee.. like me... i scoot off to compass pt or hougang mall when my boy goes to sch...
and dat's why i'm very reluctant to hve another kid.... coz have been waiting 2 yrs b4 i can have some time to myself.
hang in there.. when both ur kids go sch.. u will hve some life back.. hee.. like me... i scoot off to compass pt or hougang mall when my boy goes to sch...
and dat's why i'm very reluctant to hve another kid.... coz have been waiting 2 yrs b4 i can have some time to myself.
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
I also want to hv 1 kid, so that I can hv time for myself. No.2 is unplanned, actually both are unplanned. I never plan to hv kids, cos I was not confident of taking care of them and my health was not good. I was pregnant with my elder gal 1 month after my customary marriage. At that time, there was this tsunami disaster so no honeymoon. I had resentment when I was pregnant with no.2 cos freedom gone. Sigh, I guess that's my life, really hope it gets better when my kids are older.
I also want to hv 1 kid, so that I can hv time for myself. No.2 is unplanned, actually both are unplanned. I never plan to hv kids, cos I was not confident of taking care of them and my health was not good. I was pregnant with my elder gal 1 month after my customary marriage. At that time, there was this tsunami disaster so no honeymoon. I had resentment when I was pregnant with no.2 cos freedom gone. Sigh, I guess that's my life, really hope it gets better when my kids are older.
Pingping,
I know how u feel.. coz my hubby and i also planned not to have kids ... then accident happened. dat's why we r still resistant to having no. 2 despite constant reminders fr family members.
We are both not prepared to take care of another infant when finally our boy is easier to take care now and we can go out without packing a LARGE bag.
I know how u feel.. coz my hubby and i also planned not to have kids ... then accident happened. dat's why we r still resistant to having no. 2 despite constant reminders fr family members.
We are both not prepared to take care of another infant when finally our boy is easier to take care now and we can go out without packing a LARGE bag.
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
Those who don't want to hv kids but lao tian ye want to give them. Those who want to hv kids but they hv a hard conceiving. Both accidents hv made me scared, I hv never been so lucky in striking toto or 4D but babies instead.
When you don't hv kids, pple will say must hv at least one. Finally you hv one, they will say at least 2. It's easy to hv kids but taking care of them is not easy esp when they are so smart now, that we got fooled by them instead.
Those who don't want to hv kids but lao tian ye want to give them. Those who want to hv kids but they hv a hard conceiving. Both accidents hv made me scared, I hv never been so lucky in striking toto or 4D but babies instead.
When you don't hv kids, pple will say must hv at least one. Finally you hv one, they will say at least 2. It's easy to hv kids but taking care of them is not easy esp when they are so smart now, that we got fooled by them instead.
Afternoon mummies.. I tink all enjoying the long weekend.. hehehe..
Caryn. Pingping- initially me n hubby didnt wan kids.. wahahaha.. coz tht time i was working and we knew we cant ask parents for help so we said no.. when we were ready, we cant have kids.. wahahaha.. aft 3yrs we gt Dan n Yaz.. now trying for the 3rd one like waiting to strike lottery!! Wahahaha.. Life....
Caryn. Pingping- initially me n hubby didnt wan kids.. wahahaha.. coz tht time i was working and we knew we cant ask parents for help so we said no.. when we were ready, we cant have kids.. wahahaha.. aft 3yrs we gt Dan n Yaz.. now trying for the 3rd one like waiting to strike lottery!! Wahahaha.. Life....
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum, Fi,
It's confirmed Top Kang supermarket is moving out. My hubby just went there and saw they are moving out their things. He said that they are not selling bread, and the shelf is empty. Great that NTUC is moving in. Hurray!
Initially when I was pregnant, I was not happy. After my gal was born, I love her a lot. Same for my son, but not as happy as I had my gal cos my r/s with my hubby was quite strained then. Now I try to kan de kai, hv to or I cannot survive. I love my kids more than hubby. Life is really full of obstacles for me, hv to find a solution for every one of them so that I can move on. I guess it's a learning process, huo dao lao xue dao lao. R/s problems are the most difficult to solve.
It's confirmed Top Kang supermarket is moving out. My hubby just went there and saw they are moving out their things. He said that they are not selling bread, and the shelf is empty. Great that NTUC is moving in. Hurray!
Initially when I was pregnant, I was not happy. After my gal was born, I love her a lot. Same for my son, but not as happy as I had my gal cos my r/s with my hubby was quite strained then. Now I try to kan de kai, hv to or I cannot survive. I love my kids more than hubby. Life is really full of obstacles for me, hv to find a solution for every one of them so that I can move on. I guess it's a learning process, huo dao lao xue dao lao. R/s problems are the most difficult to solve.
pingping, u sound like a strong persön. Hope ur rship wif hubby is better nw.. Hang in there. My rship wif hubby was also affected after we become parents.. Coz we r nt prepared of the sacrifices and demands of parenthood. Our lives seemed to surround ovr the kid and hsewk. After dat, i learnt nt to be so particular abt hsewk and be less uptight.
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
I am not a strong person, I am emotionally weak. Like I said in my previous posting, I am emotionally needy. From young, I hv a lot of problems emotionally and physically. I had skin problems, felt neglected and frustrated as my dad was always fierce to us and I felt suppressed ( I hv low self-esteem). In work, I met nasty bosses cos I guess my PR skills are not good. I was really stressed esp when I came out to work and I had a lot of health problems then, but I didn't know how to treat it then.
Now it's better but I hv problems with my hubby. He doesn't communicate to me much ever since my gal was born despite talking to him nicely abt my needs. I felt he was not ready for fatherhood and supporting the family. I hv been through a lot, hurting myself and going into depression. I just felt a marriage without communication is meaningless. It's a lot of things, and I am softhearted so my hubby takes me for granted. I hv a part to play, I wished I was firm, rather than accommodating to him most of the time during courtship. If I had done that earlier, I wouldn't hv to suffer so much now. I has seen a fortune teller on my marriage, and she told me that I would hv a lot of problems im my marriage. I ask her will I get a divorce, she told me it's totally up to me. I took it with a pinch of salt then, but I never expected to be so true.
First, our problems were on hsework. After that it progress to lack of communication. Our r/s is not any better, cos I don't want to forgive him as I know he'll not change for the better. I just ignore him unless I hv something to tell him abt the kids, anyway he never bother to talk to me. I just keep my distance away from him. After all these emotionally pain, I realise I hv grown stronger, though I still feel sad sometimes. I need to focus on my kids, as they hv a long way to go and I don't want them to be like me.
I start to accept it, cos the more I resist, the more I suffer. I hv to live for myself, not just for my kids or my marriage. I feel that all the problems that I faced is to make me a stronger & better person. After hving kids, I get to know myself better, sometimes I don't even know why I behave in a certain way. I find that the person who is the most difficult to understand is myself.
I am not a strong person, I am emotionally weak. Like I said in my previous posting, I am emotionally needy. From young, I hv a lot of problems emotionally and physically. I had skin problems, felt neglected and frustrated as my dad was always fierce to us and I felt suppressed ( I hv low self-esteem). In work, I met nasty bosses cos I guess my PR skills are not good. I was really stressed esp when I came out to work and I had a lot of health problems then, but I didn't know how to treat it then.
Now it's better but I hv problems with my hubby. He doesn't communicate to me much ever since my gal was born despite talking to him nicely abt my needs. I felt he was not ready for fatherhood and supporting the family. I hv been through a lot, hurting myself and going into depression. I just felt a marriage without communication is meaningless. It's a lot of things, and I am softhearted so my hubby takes me for granted. I hv a part to play, I wished I was firm, rather than accommodating to him most of the time during courtship. If I had done that earlier, I wouldn't hv to suffer so much now. I has seen a fortune teller on my marriage, and she told me that I would hv a lot of problems im my marriage. I ask her will I get a divorce, she told me it's totally up to me. I took it with a pinch of salt then, but I never expected to be so true.
First, our problems were on hsework. After that it progress to lack of communication. Our r/s is not any better, cos I don't want to forgive him as I know he'll not change for the better. I just ignore him unless I hv something to tell him abt the kids, anyway he never bother to talk to me. I just keep my distance away from him. After all these emotionally pain, I realise I hv grown stronger, though I still feel sad sometimes. I need to focus on my kids, as they hv a long way to go and I don't want them to be like me.
I start to accept it, cos the more I resist, the more I suffer. I hv to live for myself, not just for my kids or my marriage. I feel that all the problems that I faced is to make me a stronger & better person. After hving kids, I get to know myself better, sometimes I don't even know why I behave in a certain way. I find that the person who is the most difficult to understand is myself.
Pingping,
oh dear... u realy have gone thru a lot...
gd to know that things r better now...
i feel that communication is key in any rships... if not the rship will fall apart... have u considered marriage counselling to rekindle the flame? It may be worth a try? Family Services Centres provide the service... MCYS has a list of all the FSCs in spore: http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/serv_dss_disability_main.asp?Services_Id=2
On a happier note, Happy Mother's Day to u and all mummies!
oh dear... u realy have gone thru a lot...
i feel that communication is key in any rships... if not the rship will fall apart... have u considered marriage counselling to rekindle the flame? It may be worth a try? Family Services Centres provide the service... MCYS has a list of all the FSCs in spore: http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/serv_dss_disability_main.asp?Services_Id=2
On a happier note, Happy Mother's Day to u and all mummies!
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
Thanks for the link, it's useful. I might consider but I feel it might not work, as my hubby is very bo chap. His sis did counseled us twice, but it didn't worked as he just remained the same (it just didn't go into his head, what to do ). His sis did advise us to go for counselling, but with 2 kids, I find it difficult. I find counseling tiring, esp when I see him not taking it seriously. I'll wait till when the kids are older and see how is it.
When we went for pre natal classes, he can't be bothered at all. He learned back massage in class, knowing that I hv back pain, he never took the initiative to offer help. I think I married to a block of wood, so I will treat him as one. He will never wake up until something drastic happen. He knows our relationship has deteriorated, but remained very passive abt it. I really hv nothing to say abt him, though he is not a bad person but he is really lousy and lazy in rship. I would say he is suitable to be a boyfriend but not a husband
Thanks for the link, it's useful. I might consider but I feel it might not work, as my hubby is very bo chap. His sis did counseled us twice, but it didn't worked as he just remained the same (it just didn't go into his head, what to do ). His sis did advise us to go for counselling, but with 2 kids, I find it difficult. I find counseling tiring, esp when I see him not taking it seriously. I'll wait till when the kids are older and see how is it.
When we went for pre natal classes, he can't be bothered at all. He learned back massage in class, knowing that I hv back pain, he never took the initiative to offer help. I think I married to a block of wood, so I will treat him as one. He will never wake up until something drastic happen. He knows our relationship has deteriorated, but remained very passive abt it. I really hv nothing to say abt him, though he is not a bad person but he is really lousy and lazy in rship. I would say he is suitable to be a boyfriend but not a husband
Pingping,
dun lose heart.... as long as there is still love bet u two... things will change for the better...
i agree when the kids are older... things may get better... less demands fr the kids and u two may have time to go dating again. or maybe u can ask ur family to help babysit like once or twice a week for 2-3hrs (when ur younger kid is taking a nap) and u can go out wif hubby alone.. to have a nice meal or movie.
yah lor.. guys behave differently when they r boyfriends and when they are husbands!
dun lose heart.... as long as there is still love bet u two... things will change for the better...
yah lor.. guys behave differently when they r boyfriends and when they are husbands!
carmen22
Member
Pingping,
Sori to hear abt wat u gg thru nw...
i was juz tinkg, since we r stayin so near, u may pop over my place if u nd a break or someone to chit chat...at least ur 2 kids + my 2 kids cn play 2gethr...
Or at times, if ur gal is ok, u cn leave her at my place while u spend time w ur son alone...i find dat whn we hv 2 kids, handling 1 kid is so much easier...Like me, nw dat i send my gal to sch, and my boy has stoppd playgrp, i do enjoy my time alone w him! and he's more manageable whn jie jie nt arnd...hahaa....
Do feel free to let me noe if u wana BREAK ya!
As for ur hb, hv u ever try trash things out w him? mayb u cn try find a time whn ur kids r asleep, sit dn n hv a heart to heart talk w him...??tink so??
Sori to hear abt wat u gg thru nw...
i was juz tinkg, since we r stayin so near, u may pop over my place if u nd a break or someone to chit chat...at least ur 2 kids + my 2 kids cn play 2gethr...
Or at times, if ur gal is ok, u cn leave her at my place while u spend time w ur son alone...i find dat whn we hv 2 kids, handling 1 kid is so much easier...Like me, nw dat i send my gal to sch, and my boy has stoppd playgrp, i do enjoy my time alone w him! and he's more manageable whn jie jie nt arnd...hahaa....
Do feel free to let me noe if u wana BREAK ya!
As for ur hb, hv u ever try trash things out w him? mayb u cn try find a time whn ur kids r asleep, sit dn n hv a heart to heart talk w him...??tink so??
pingping
Active Member
Crayonmum,
I was thinking that things might change for the better, when the kids are older. What I need is patience, I still give him the credit for making the kids happy. He is a big kid, that why still immature at 39. I think maybe he only mature at 45 or 50. Things will only appear to be bad, if I keep hv negative thinking. Now I am trying very hard to be positive, and it helps.
Carmen,
Thanks for offering yr help. I am fine, just voicing out. When I see certain postings in the thread, I'll write what I feel. I don't dare to bring my gal at yr place cos she does not express herself very well. Only me and my hubby understands what she says, sometimes my mum hv a hard time trying to understand what she is saying. I hv trash things out with him so many times, through email, sms and talking to him. There's no response from him at all, like I said block of wood. I hv to accept it, otherwise I'll go crazy.
I do feel a lot of better talking to you guys. Thanks a lot.
I was thinking that things might change for the better, when the kids are older. What I need is patience, I still give him the credit for making the kids happy. He is a big kid, that why still immature at 39. I think maybe he only mature at 45 or 50. Things will only appear to be bad, if I keep hv negative thinking. Now I am trying very hard to be positive, and it helps.
Carmen,
Thanks for offering yr help. I am fine, just voicing out. When I see certain postings in the thread, I'll write what I feel. I don't dare to bring my gal at yr place cos she does not express herself very well. Only me and my hubby understands what she says, sometimes my mum hv a hard time trying to understand what she is saying. I hv trash things out with him so many times, through email, sms and talking to him. There's no response from him at all, like I said block of wood. I hv to accept it, otherwise I'll go crazy.
I do feel a lot of better talking to you guys. Thanks a lot.
Morning mummies...
Pingping- i feel for you.. Hope u stay strong, not only for ur kids bt for urself too.. I agree, sometimes its gd to juz vent and talk it out.. Makes u feel a whole lot better.. Do come and join us when we have playdates.. kids can play and mums can juz chat.. I juz did tht wif crayonmum..
To ALL Mums- happy belated mummy's day..
Pingping- i feel for you.. Hope u stay strong, not only for ur kids bt for urself too.. I agree, sometimes its gd to juz vent and talk it out.. Makes u feel a whole lot better.. Do come and join us when we have playdates.. kids can play and mums can juz chat.. I juz did tht wif crayonmum..
To ALL Mums- happy belated mummy's day..
carmen22
Member
Pingping,
No worries, juz popby anytime u feel like it..(juz hv to let me noe 1 day in advance) and i wl take care of the rest ya!!
I cn undrstnd hw u feel whn u hv to take care of 2 kids 24/7...sumX we juz nd a venting outlet...
or we cn also bring the kids dn to playground ya!!
No worries, juz popby anytime u feel like it..(juz hv to let me noe 1 day in advance) and i wl take care of the rest ya!!
I cn undrstnd hw u feel whn u hv to take care of 2 kids 24/7...sumX we juz nd a venting outlet...
or we cn also bring the kids dn to playground ya!!
PingPing,
You are facing almost the same set of problems as I am. I also have a bo-chap hubby, when I was heavily pregnant, he did not send or fetch me from work, he did not help with the house chores. When I was almost due, I was still scrubbing the toilets, mopping the floor, washing his dirty socks. Things didn't improve after I gave birth. For the 1st 4 mths, I did not have a maid. Besides taking care of my newborn, I had to do all the house chores, I slept less than 4 hrs a day. My hubby never help to make milk/change diaper for my boy before. Not that he don't love my boy, but he feels that it's a women's job.
I have so much complains that I could write a book. But I learn to take things easy now. Now that I have my maid, it's less taxing for me. Everyday after work, looking at my sweet little boy, I'm already very happy. All sacrifices are worth it.
You are facing almost the same set of problems as I am. I also have a bo-chap hubby, when I was heavily pregnant, he did not send or fetch me from work, he did not help with the house chores. When I was almost due, I was still scrubbing the toilets, mopping the floor, washing his dirty socks. Things didn't improve after I gave birth. For the 1st 4 mths, I did not have a maid. Besides taking care of my newborn, I had to do all the house chores, I slept less than 4 hrs a day. My hubby never help to make milk/change diaper for my boy before. Not that he don't love my boy, but he feels that it's a women's job.
I have so much complains that I could write a book. But I learn to take things easy now. Now that I have my maid, it's less taxing for me. Everyday after work, looking at my sweet little boy, I'm already very happy. All sacrifices are worth it.