It_is_going_to_be_alright
New Member
Hi all.. it is going to be a long posting.. I need somewhere to talk about this..
I lost my baby boy 3 weeks ago due to incompetent cervix. A lot of could-have regrets makes me painfuI and it makes me think that I could not be able to give chance to live to my baby.
I saw my ob on 24/08/24 at 5pm at NUH and the visit ended in 5 mins. She only quickly checked my baby's heart beat. I have a video of the ultrasound and she immediately enlarge the screen and only checked heartbeat. Heartbeat was great and that was it.
25/08/24 11pm Bleeding started
26/08/24 called women centre at NUH to see my ob but she was fully booked. So I went down one of women's clinic near by my place. The ob checked my cervix and became silent. She said my cervix dilated 1cm and water bag was bulging. She wrote a letter and sent me to NUH. (my regret here was I should have asked her advice which doctor is best in this situation instead of going straight my ob at nuh)
At NUH, went to emergency centre. Junior doctor was there. She confirmed with my ob on the phone to hospitalise me for one night over hoping waterbag goes back in. I asked that junior doctor if they can stitch but she said cannot as the waterbag bulged. I 100% trusted her opinion didn't google it about it. she said there is 30% chance of waterbag goes back in. So I hospitalised. They took my blood to test if any infection was going on (no infection detected on the result) and gave me 2 different pills (progesteron and anti contration). I cannot get rid of thought that they should have tried rescue cerclage on that night.
27/08/24 another junior doctor came by. my ob never showed up. he checked my water was leaking 1cm dilated and waterbag was still there. told me hospital cannot offer much things. So I told him that I will go home and bedrest.
2hours later my ob came by it was 2pm-is. when she checked my cervix my baby kicking his leg in bulged waterbag. I asked her for cerclage but she said she cannot. she said sorry this happen and better terminate the pregnancy. she is senior doctor.. all of sudden I felt contraction. sqeezing feeling on my tummy. I told my ob, she touched, and said it didn't seem so. I asked if they can test non stress test but they say on 18 weeks they don't do it only 24 weeks onwards.
Once she left, active contraction started and I gave a tiny little boy out in the world with out pitocin.
I bleed 1L during labor but uterus line was still thick. My ob was not there for delivery only junior doctor. Kinda disappointed she was not there. anyway after all done, my ob came by and said the line is still thick so I need to do D&C. Very painful and long day.
After all that happened, I googled and read a lot tbh almost everything about other's case. Many of them saved their baby doing rescue cerclage and they were more dilated than I was. My water was not leaking I was dilated only 1cm, my cervix length was 2cm. I feel like I should have gone to right doctor who can actually deal with it. at least try to do rescue cerclage. I cannot stop thinking I wasted 12hr from I found it out till contraction started.
I am sad and devastated. I feel like my ob is too conservative doing only non risk thing. Do not want to blame her but Seems other doctors use balloon to push the waterbag in end stitch. I know that no one guarantee how result would have gone if I did get the stitch but at least, I don't have to be in pain that I could have tried harder. Too easily accepted one doctor's opinion and didn't even think about second opinion. Why I did it like that.. Why I did not search..This really killing me..
After all that happens, I learned that doctor's style for approach of treatment affects a lot on results and entire process. As I had uneventful pregnancy with my first baby so I found a doctor at NUH with simply reason that I heard her C-section stitch was good. I never knew or imagined that she was going to be very conservative when it comes to deal with emergency situation.
Thank you for reading.. if you know good doctors who is willing to try treatment even if there is not a high chance and good at fast decision, please please let me know.. Thank you
I lost my baby boy 3 weeks ago due to incompetent cervix. A lot of could-have regrets makes me painfuI and it makes me think that I could not be able to give chance to live to my baby.
I saw my ob on 24/08/24 at 5pm at NUH and the visit ended in 5 mins. She only quickly checked my baby's heart beat. I have a video of the ultrasound and she immediately enlarge the screen and only checked heartbeat. Heartbeat was great and that was it.
25/08/24 11pm Bleeding started
26/08/24 called women centre at NUH to see my ob but she was fully booked. So I went down one of women's clinic near by my place. The ob checked my cervix and became silent. She said my cervix dilated 1cm and water bag was bulging. She wrote a letter and sent me to NUH. (my regret here was I should have asked her advice which doctor is best in this situation instead of going straight my ob at nuh)
At NUH, went to emergency centre. Junior doctor was there. She confirmed with my ob on the phone to hospitalise me for one night over hoping waterbag goes back in. I asked that junior doctor if they can stitch but she said cannot as the waterbag bulged. I 100% trusted her opinion didn't google it about it. she said there is 30% chance of waterbag goes back in. So I hospitalised. They took my blood to test if any infection was going on (no infection detected on the result) and gave me 2 different pills (progesteron and anti contration). I cannot get rid of thought that they should have tried rescue cerclage on that night.
27/08/24 another junior doctor came by. my ob never showed up. he checked my water was leaking 1cm dilated and waterbag was still there. told me hospital cannot offer much things. So I told him that I will go home and bedrest.
2hours later my ob came by it was 2pm-is. when she checked my cervix my baby kicking his leg in bulged waterbag. I asked her for cerclage but she said she cannot. she said sorry this happen and better terminate the pregnancy. she is senior doctor.. all of sudden I felt contraction. sqeezing feeling on my tummy. I told my ob, she touched, and said it didn't seem so. I asked if they can test non stress test but they say on 18 weeks they don't do it only 24 weeks onwards.
Once she left, active contraction started and I gave a tiny little boy out in the world with out pitocin.
I bleed 1L during labor but uterus line was still thick. My ob was not there for delivery only junior doctor. Kinda disappointed she was not there. anyway after all done, my ob came by and said the line is still thick so I need to do D&C. Very painful and long day.
After all that happened, I googled and read a lot tbh almost everything about other's case. Many of them saved their baby doing rescue cerclage and they were more dilated than I was. My water was not leaking I was dilated only 1cm, my cervix length was 2cm. I feel like I should have gone to right doctor who can actually deal with it. at least try to do rescue cerclage. I cannot stop thinking I wasted 12hr from I found it out till contraction started.
I am sad and devastated. I feel like my ob is too conservative doing only non risk thing. Do not want to blame her but Seems other doctors use balloon to push the waterbag in end stitch. I know that no one guarantee how result would have gone if I did get the stitch but at least, I don't have to be in pain that I could have tried harder. Too easily accepted one doctor's opinion and didn't even think about second opinion. Why I did it like that.. Why I did not search..This really killing me..
After all that happens, I learned that doctor's style for approach of treatment affects a lot on results and entire process. As I had uneventful pregnancy with my first baby so I found a doctor at NUH with simply reason that I heard her C-section stitch was good. I never knew or imagined that she was going to be very conservative when it comes to deal with emergency situation.
Thank you for reading.. if you know good doctors who is willing to try treatment even if there is not a high chance and good at fast decision, please please let me know.. Thank you
sorry for your lost.