IVF Mummies-To-Be Support Group

Singapoh, i will call for my mum for help! she is even worse than me... so she does things, i will not make any fuss coz her standards are higher! i learnt everything from her.. :p
 


Singapoh, my mum is 59 yrs old this year! luckily still got my dad around.. he know how to cook, clean house n take care n shower new born too! but of course my mum's standards are higher.. he always kana from her :p
 
singapoh/hazel,
my bb was born in kkh last yr. all her jabs nid to pay de... only recently i realise her 9th mth DA is foc, so i guess DAs r foc in polyclinics bah...
even test for jaundice & the compulsory jabs (3/5/6 in 1s) need to pay
 
Hazel,

like mother like daughter hor..

If u bring yr bb to the private children clinic ( next to TPS), waiting time is not very long.

Juju,

What DA?
 
Cactus, so u change agency to get this new maid?
Singapoh, u find the jpb service good? There used to be a jpb near my place but closed.
I jus painted the entrance of our flat. First time do paint job ourselves. If result good plan to paint bb room pink.
About undies, I wear below waist/belly will causes rashes loh...
 
Singapoh, $170 maid levy is either coz you have young kids or elderly (>=65 years old) at home....I heard abt the tax relief for working mum w maid too..but can't remember the details. Would need to check when I file for tax next year....


Hazel, I agree with Singapoh that you may need to learn to lower ur expectations when the baby comes along.

Since I'm letting my MIL taking care of him (i think even if my mum were the one), I am prepared to close my eyes to avoid conflicts. I told my MIL certain basic criteria, ie cannot over pamper my son and she has to be careful w the words she uses. You know old folks sometimes too used to using some hokkien words which aren't nice......

You may now say everything is ok and ur mum has higher standards. But u may never know coz u might have ur own ways how u wan to deal wif ur baby. So, would still suggest that you start to build/maintain a right mentality towards this.......
 
Vi4n, why cause rashes? Has this been always like this before preggy? Cld be the material of the panties? Try applying more cream to ur waist and belly, may helps....
 
hazel, when i go back to work, my mom says either she handles alone or get someone to help her part time but she is confident she can handle the boys! she has rejected my offer to get a maid for her.
so i take it you too are not getting a maid?

soon-to-be, i wanted infant care but none of the centres i approached have vacancy after my maternity so my mom says she will take care until the boys are a bit bigger then we can put them in infant care.
 
Spiffy, bb at infant care falls sick easily.. So, may not be gd. I am not getting maid since my is a singleton. But if no 2 comes along in 1 to 2 yrs time, I wld hv to get one.

Soon-to-be, the diff b/w mil n own mum is the latter I can tell her off. The former will bear grudeges. I hv seen many egs already on friends who r even temper. Unless, can really close one if not both eyes. I always tell my mum off if I dun like it, fight also, though not often. But end of the day, is still my own mum n I am her daughter.

Is not as simple as just dun say not nice hokkien words in front of bb. Old folks hv die hard habits that wun change. U will know when ur boy comes, he is your previous.. U can say close one eye, but we will see.. Good luck
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I told my mum I will get milk warmer, sterilizer, etc. But she said dun need as she prefers the primitive approach of using boiling hot water.. So, that I leave it coz she wants to hv more work to do then be it.. Safe my money, I dun hv to get 2 sets
 
hazel, i know re infant care which is why we've decided that since there's no vacancy, we'll take the opportunity to wait till they're older too.. falling sick is just something we'll have to get used to.. the pros outweigh the cons for us. it's right at our workplace so very easy to see them.
 
Hazel, we are already starting to correct my MIL, with the help of my hubby. I rationale with her in a nice manner, whereas my hubby will tell her off bluntly...hehehehe...tt's our tactics ever since i married my hubby....

Oh, I'm prepared to close 2 eyes in time to come since I'm going back to work, can't see at all...hehehee
 
hi all,
The tax relief you're talking abt is 2 times the levy you paid. For eg, you paid $170 x 12 mths = $2040, you can claim double which is $4080 of tax relief.

Hi Vi4n,
Yup, I changed agency, once bitten twice shy.
 
Spiffy, the best care givers r ourselves, but if we hv to work, then we got to think of who is the next best who can give me the dedication I want. For me is my mum.

The thing is, at infant care, once a bb is sick it will be easily spreaded to other bbs. This is something tt can be avoided in my views. Also, once bb has a fever, the infant care centre will tell the parents to bring home. Is very disruptive n bb dun recover within a day. We cannot be always on urgent leave also.. For ur case, I think is quite diff for ur dh to take urgent leave always since he is always running clinic. So, it will always be you. No way where hubby n wife can take turn for ur case..

Soon-to-be, the fact u cAn stay with mil for so many yrs Is already an achievement.
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ladies, painting job done already. I got the Nippon odourless n wear mask. Jus extra careful whn climbing lo. My hubby is currently not 100% mobility like normal man due to brain tumor surgery years ago. So a lot f things I do n managed myself. N I think because of this too God gives me easy time with the pregnancy
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Since started to get pregnant I started to have rashes. From fingers, breasts n lower tummy area. Been applying calamol ad nothing else can apply as what gynae advice. So the lower waist panties made it worst.
Cactus, so what's your new maid agency? Next month we will start to source too.
Can I confirm that the online course is tat $30 at mom website? So after the course straight away will link to the quiz?
 
Hm.. Hazel, I don't really listen or follow pantang other than those health concern like taking cooling stuffs.
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For food intake wise, I don't often take nuts not even peanuts butter. Dr said hormone caused rashes.
 
Vi4n, just like we r told not to sew on the bed... There is a reason for that.. My sil dun believe also last time.. The Reno guys working drilling the new house then n she insisted on going.. When she reached the door, even b4 entering, she immediately experienced cramps n she quickly rushed downstairs n surprising the cramps stopped! My nephew was born with a tiny nimble at the chin... Which is perpetually there all the time..

I was told not to carry other's kids or bb's when pregnant.. I dunno why until recently I overheard my mil said last time any pregnant ladies if carried her young daughter will end up with diahorea... Coz some bbs feel jealous when their mummy carries other's bbs

Old folks
 
Even if u dun believe, why do u want to take the risk of engaging in dangerous acts by climbing up n down? U can be careful but u nv know right?

It took us so much pains to get pregnant, our bb is very previous...
 
Singapoh, ya meh.. I cannot stay with mil one.. If not sure fight eats n dogs everyday.. Dh gives in to me does not mean mil will!
 
Hazel,

I can't stand my MIL sometimes too but what to do. She's the mother of my dh.

She kept asking if my babies are getting enough nutrients since I hv to avoid so many type of food. I told her actually I am eating wisely now. Low fat/calorie diet. High protein. But she still ask again and again. Very "fan" lei
 
hazel, my mil is a nice lady. overtime I aso learnt to b more understanding n tactful w her. end of day, make it easy for hubby n myself too. like wat I said once, not everything must win, can gv in, can close eye or ear, I will do lor.

vi4n, get cream fr ur gynae. I asked mine fr dr loh.
 
singaoph,
DA is developmental assessment.
hmm... my bb was wif pte children's clinic initially, but the waiting time was like an hour on average, most times longer. din bother going back.
now, yishun polyclinic is my fav cos they keep to the timing quite well.

hazel,
true, bb go infant care will fall sick. but toddlers go childcare for the first time also will fall sick.
once kids are exposed to crowds, possibility of falling sick is there. unless they avoid other kids.
 
Immunity of bb can be built up. New born has the lowest n will only cry.. Toddlers know how to express themselves n some know how to listen.. So if toddlers feel sick, is easier to find our from them where do they feel unwell..

Soon-to-be, is not as simple as that loh.. Singapoh had just shared an eg.. For my mil eg, her standard porridge cooked for toddlers is she will use instant chicken essence stock as flavour n fish ball as ingredents.. For this is not acceptable for me, my mum will buy grouper to make fresh fish porridge n we dun use instant chicken essence stock in the cooking..

Another eg, she will shower young bbs n toddlers at least twice a day, once in the am n once b4 sleep.. But I prefer to wipe the bb instead at night. I wun want to shower him or her so late at night.. My own mum dun shower bb so late at night also..

I can't close both eyes or shut both ears on this.. But if every thing I also tell her cannot do a particular way, she will be upset. Everyone is brought up differently, so habits r different..

So, my mum brought me up n she is fussy n careful, so she takes care for me, there will be less differences
 
One of my gfs told me her kids dun fell down at home coz she is careful with them.. But whenever his dh brings them home with the maid, the youngest boy will come home with baluku on his head.. She told me she was so mad n she felt heart pain.. She dun understand why with so many pp, dh, maid n ILs, why the boy can still fall down n hit the head..

She told me she was heart brokened as both her kids were ivf also so very precious to her..
 
My MIL has a very bad habit of touching cooked food with her bare hands. Put her finger in her mouth to taste and touch again. She doesn't really like washing her hands.

She also doesn't cut the nails of the chix feet when she cook soup. If I see I won't drink lor.
 
Taking care of Bbs n toddlers r very demanding. ESP when they hv started to turn, crawl n learning how to walk.. At times, an adult can see the bb playing on the floor but the next moment, the bb wld hv moved n be doing something dangerous.. Thus, they cannot be left out of sight, not even a few seconds unless they are in a confined safe area like a play pan..

Or if we r alone with a bb, we may think bb is sleeping n we went to shower, but half way through, for watever reason, bb got woken up n start to wail away, even as mother, we will start to panic n will quickly rush out even with soap still on us..

Singapoh had been a SAHM, she can attest how tough it can be, ESP more so if the bb Is very active.. Really require lots of stamina n energy
 
My mil always asks the maid to cook white cabbage soup which is very cooling.. I told her once nicely tt is no good.. But her reply was they r used to it already. I left it there since I dun stay with her n I only go back for dinner at most once a wk... I just dun take of there r any dishes that I dun like..

She also like to cook glutinous rice.. She is diabetic n so is her son, but still.. Glutinous rice raise blood sugar quickly n is a no no for diabetic.. I just tell my dh dun take loh.. If we were to stay together, all these differences how to close both eyes??
 
My parents r not perfect either. My dad likes to use sugar as flavouring since cannot use MSG.. But I will tell him off and ask him if he wants his grandchildren to be diabetic next time since they hv bad genes.. My bro's wife has a diabetic father so my niece n nephew have diabetic genes too..,

I see my parents give the 2 kids too much soft drinks I will tell them off also.. They r my parents, even if they r angry with me, it wun be for long.. But ILs will be different
 
ha! I'm not gog to debate this. such things are v much to individual. since I'm not gog to b a sahm n decided to leave my son to my mil's care, i got to think e best n not think of all e possible negative things, won't benefit anyone. furthermore no one is perfect, neither am I.
 
yumyum, i intend to use my sis's confinement lady who just gave birth last mth. However, she already had an job engagement in end June so she will check if she's able to handle mine. Hopefully she can cos she's quite gd according to the feedback from my sis.
 
singapoh, your description of your MIL's habits reminds me of mine.. My MIL is very nice, but i'm so scared of her cleanliness! Her non stick teflon pan was scratched beyond recognition and when i found out, i mnade her throw it away cos it's poisonous!
She puts things in microwave without a plate, and is just generally not very santitary....
Her aircon was not serviced for 15 years until recently..*shiver*

she is also very soft and doesn't think there's antyhing wrong in giving sweets/sweet stuff..
she doesn't even have boiled water at home...

i dont think i can bring myself to let her take care of the babies until they are much older.. i think i have to be very specific if i leave the kids with her.
Can't even think about it now, i get an anxiety attack when i think about it. Thank goodness my mother, with her exacting standards and common sense, is taking care!
 
vi4n - we're also in the midst of decorating our babies' room... i think we'll get decals instead of painting tho.. so far got furniture and colourful curtains.. oh and grilles.
 
Spiffy, u r already decorating babies' room? So fast....envious..I hv to wait till my ILs shift out after my confinement before I hv the spare rm, and then will see whether will do anything...however, hubby has plans to do minor reno to make the house more baby/kid frenly which can only be done after baby arrives....8)
 
Hazel,

Being a SAHM without a helper not only needs stamina and energy, also needs plenty of patience and self motivation to carry on.

Toddlers are not that easy to handle as they won't be able to express themselves fully. Both parents and toddlers get very frustrated. Toddlers especially in their "Terrible 2" years have mood swing. Suddenly throw tantrum without any reason!!!
 
Spiffy,

Lucky Singapore tap water is safe to drink!

My son has never eaten a sweet before
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Only chocolates. :p My dh is another stubborn one. Told him don't give so much sweets and chips to him still give! That day had a high fever of 39.3. His throat was a bit red. Lucky fever lasted for only 1 day. Sigh...Men and their mothers...waaaaa
 
Juju,

Did you go to the KK private children private clinic on a Saturday? I usually go weekend morning, don't have to wait for very long.
 


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