Linda,
How is your BT? You BFP already? Share with us the news when you have update ok jia you
Shameful's hubby,
Please do not feel shameful. I am married for coming 9 years, had 2 miscarriages and 3 failed IVF cycles.. what more can be worse? Some ladies here suffer even worse experiences than me but we are all strong and not about to give in to fate cause we are determined to try to the end
I guess you need not feel ashamed because before the start of our IVF cycle both my hubby and me are quite lost and clueless even after reading up on IVF cause the process is very different in feeling on the actual cycle then on book. We are all here to learn from each other so there is really nothing to feel ashame about. Each couple would behave and react differently.
Questions:
1) What is the driving force for partners to take the first steps? How partners come into consenses that IVF is for you?
- when both parties really yearn for a baby and realise that after many years of tires in all ways naturally is not really possible. Also partially through Gynae recommendation.
2) Well, the IVF cycle is bias in the sense that woman had to suffer more. What do you gals expect the husband to do. What role must hubby play? Whats your mind set on this? How you convinces yourself to ject yourself.
- Actually the hubby just have to help out the wife in terms of housework and try to understand your wife more during this period as she might have mood swings due to hormonal changes and the pain she is going through. She will also feel more tired easily as the mediacation will make her feel that. Some ladies will have side effects from the medication, depending the amount of the dosage. You have to be supportative emotionally, physically (help her do housework and also learn to inject for her), and of course in monetary side (even subsidies there are some cost to be incurred in cash)
3) Any gals had failed IVF cycle/s. It must be very sad right? After all the hard work, $$, time spent. How you get over it? What you most want to do at that moment or days that follows. What you may expect your hubby to do at that point of time or the followings.
- well guess the hubby cannot blame the lady if she fails as the process is very dependent on both the sperm and the egg. Takes 2 hands to clap. Even if we failed, at least we tried though we are drain totally both emotionally and financially. What the saying no pain, no gain. There are some success cases here too so look at the process positvely and do not give up
You will be stronger as the stage move on.
4) "Well, if failed, lifes still continue right?" Easy say then done. Do you all continue a following IVF? Anyone stopped trying? Anyone go for adoption? What gives you the power to continue/stop/adopt? What i mean is how you adjust your mindset?
- Yes easier said than done. I have been through 3 failed cycles and it was not easy for the mindset. I have stop the cycles completely as number 1, there is no more grants and I am not willing or cannot afford to fork out cash for the process that does not guarantee success. secondly, the medication has done my body harm in some way or another during my 3 cycles within a year span. Lastly, adoption is of course in our plans but now we are both recuperation emotionally and financially
Hope this helps. But different people react differently.
I hereby wish your wife success and do standby her no matter what happens
It takes a lot of courage and determination for a lady to take up this process. Jia you.
