IVF 40ish support group

Thanks for your reply.
At least I have a better understanding now.
Hydrosalphinx is fluid blockage inside right?
May I know did u do 1 HSG or a 2nd one to confirm?

For me, my HSG did not show much of left tube... Dr said may or may not be blocked and apparently some pple go for a 2nd HSG to confirm. Cos some go straight to surgery and found nothing. None of my ultrascans have ever showed any condition like PCOS or endometriosis, so I also was surprise when the HSG did not capture my left tube. But Im also a retroverted uterus so.. my HSG looks super weird and very much upside down!

But at least now I know... a surgery would be useful as fluids can affect embryo transfers.

But what u really said makes sense... if try so many times and not suceeding with natural means then I guess.. the road has lead up to IVF. Thanks for that advice! It's gold!
 


GoodluckBB said:
Thanks for your reply.
At least I have a better understanding now.
Hydrosalphinx is fluid blockage inside right?
May I know did u do 1 HSG or a 2nd one to confirm?

For me, my HSG did not show much of left tube... Dr said may or may not be blocked and apparently some pple go for a 2nd HSG to confirm. Cos some go straight to surgery and found nothing. None of my ultrascans have ever showed any condition like PCOS or endometriosis, so I also was surprise when the HSG did not capture my left tube. But Im also a retroverted uterus so.. my HSG looks super weird and very much upside down!

But at least now I know... a surgery would be useful as fluids can affect embryo transfers.

But what u really said makes sense... if try so many times and not suceeding with natural means then I guess.. the road has lead up to IVF. Thanks for that advice! It's gold!
Click to expand...
I was lucky in a way that fluid was found in the cavity during those typical ultrasound scans at Clinic D. I didnt do any HSG. My lining was ready for the transfer but was told to abort it due to the fluid. Just as well, else I would have wasted precious embryos.

as for putting in 1 or 2 embryos, years back say 2013, 2014, the docs welcome putting in 2 embryos until recent years, they felt that twin pregnancies carry high risk, hence they always recommend putting in 1 embryo. Then again, I do have docs saying that it's not easy to have twins, so to save time, I would recommend 2 embryos.
 
Lucky u, indeed.
I guess now just have to wait and do another Xray first. If I go straight for surgery it will cost $30k... hopefully another HSG will show the tube somehow.

During the counselling today, the nurse even said some people do up to 10 transfers... I was really shocked. I guess this isn't an easy path... especially at this age group. For those in their 30s, its much easier. Sigh... old already!
 
I dont have tube after my 3rd FET due to ectopic. I was admitted to emergency as tube ruptured ( by the way, IVF patient has higher risk for ectopic). And i remembered doc seems " happy" after the operation, doc said no more tubes, one side removed, one side clipped, and no tubes patient is the best candidate for ivf. I was sad as no more chance for natural, but, doc affirmed me, you already embarked in ivf journey, and ivf do not need tube. And true enough, i welcome my first baby at my 4th transferred. I think if by "no choice", need to remove blocked tubes, then just sad for a while, try to tell yourself, no tube patient is the best candidate for ivf. But, if still can keep the tube, of course i would love to keep it. At least have slim chance for natural again.
 
Hi deardarling, Thanks for your reply. I went back to look at your older posts to learn more about your story. So inspiring... it is giving me hope. 4 transfers is really pretty good to achieve success, plus testing positive a few times. I am so hoping to see a positive on a preggie test kit. So far never seen it before, except on Covid test kit. ‍♀️

The nurse that did the counselling did explain that ectopic happens cos the blastocyst is apparently floating around till it implants. It does make me wonder if its safer not to move around much then... in my retroverted uterus I also wonder if the blastocyst might be confused since the environment is gonna be upside down.

I also asked the nurse... what happens if that cycle of transfer, the couple conceive naturally too plus a transfer added in. She said so far no such case. Only heard of in other countries, and usually couples dont have sex during IVF....wah the whole idea of no intimacy during IVF is also sad... feels like overall strain in marriage also.
 
I think one time positive beta, but beta too low like 2 digit, then next scan showed empty sac, not viable, just let the menses take place naturally to clean it. Another time, beta high, but subsequent scan showed no heart beat, need medication to stop the pregnancy. One more time, drama case, can see heart beat clearly, but implanted outside the womb, that is the ectopic.
 
I started with 2 embryos transfer for first few rounds, then after i delivered 1st baby, doc insisted only one embryo per transfer, so 2nd baby took longer time to arrive. And i took 2 weeks mc for 1st transfer, then 1 week leave for 2nd tranafer, cut down to 3 days off for 3rd transfer and subsequently became my SOP for following transfer , to request FET to be conducted on Fri ( so just need take 1 day off), rest on Sat and Sun, then Mon go back to work. I feel more relax when i m working, no need to think whether is there any symptons of implantation, just work and pass each day like normal routine. But, that is for me, not suitable for everyone, as generally encourage to have more rest/ treat like pregnant until the Beta day.
 
deardarling said:
I think one time positive beta, but beta too low like 2 digit, then next scan showed empty sac, not viable, just let the menses take place naturally to clean it. Another time, beta high, but subsequent scan showed no heart beat, need medication to stop the pregnancy. One more time, drama case, can see heart beat clearly, but implanted outside the womb, that is the ectopic.
Click to expand...

Wow, that all sounds emotionally and mentally stressful. You are truly an IVF warrior. Honestly, I feel IVF should no longer be such a taboo... at times, I feel ashamed that I am stepping into this process... but why should it be that way, when we go through so much more than others who conceive naturally. Honestly, even visiting my MIL recently has been stressful... although she doesn't say anything but I can feel it.
 
deardarling said:
I started with 2 embryos transfer for first few rounds, then after i delivered 1st baby, doc insisted only one embryo per transfer, so 2nd baby took longer time to arrive. And i took 2 weeks mc for 1st transfer, then 1 week leave for 2nd tranafer, cut down to 3 days off for 3rd transfer and subsequently became my SOP for following transfer , to request FET to be conducted on Fri ( so just need take 1 day off), rest on Sat and Sun, then Mon go back to work. I feel more relax when i m working, no need to think whether is there any symptons of implantation, just work and pass each day like normal routine. But, that is for me, not suitable for everyone, as generally encourage to have more rest/ treat like pregnant until the Beta day.
Click to expand...

Thanks for this... it's also something I have been thinking about... should I go on leave or continue to work. But really my job isn't desk-bound. I work with children so it is super tiring... Often, I ask myself why am I not taking care of myself and taking care of other people's children. But at the same time, if I go on leave, then it may invite gossip of other ladies, especially those who have no issues conceiving naturally.
 
GoodluckBB said:
Wow, that all sounds emotionally and mentally stressful. You are truly an IVF warrior. Honestly, I feel IVF should no longer be such a taboo... at times, I feel ashamed that I am stepping into this process... but why should it be that way, when we go through so much more than others who conceive naturally. Honestly, even visiting my MIL recently has been stressful... although she doesn't say anything but I can feel it.
Click to expand...
no need to feel ashamed; at least we are trying hard to achieve our goals. Set your eyes on the trophy. it will happen. dont be affected by what people say...of cos you can say talk is cheap, but dont forget i treaded on the same path previously, so if it can happen to me, it can happen to you too. Set your chin high and stay positive!
 
GoodluckBB said:
I also asked the nurse... what happens if that cycle of transfer, the couple conceive naturally too plus a transfer added in. She said so far no such case. Only heard of in other countries, and usually couples dont have sex during IVF....wah the whole idea of no intimacy during IVF is also sad... feels like overall strain in marriage also.
Click to expand...

I do not think the woman can conceive naturally during IVF esp when jabs are given to suppress ovulation. Of cos accidents/miracles do happen, but what are the odds?
 
towkayneo said:
no need to feel ashamed; at least we are trying hard to achieve our goals. Set your eyes on the trophy. it will happen. dont be affected by what people say...of cos you can say talk is cheap, but dont forget i treaded on the same path previously, so if it can happen to me, it can happen to you too. Set your chin high and stay positive!
Click to expand...

:) Reminding myself everyday. Thanks so much
 
Hi ladies,
I saw a PDF version of 'It Starts with the Egg' looks like a really useful book for us to read and learn more of what we can do to help ourselves.

I got so interested that I ordered a copy of the book. Awaiting its arrival....anyone read that book yet? Seems to teach us a lot about the supplements we can take to boost our chances. I've also ordered Life Extension supplements like Coenzyme Q10, Vit E... etc.

Wondered why my doc did not even suggest all these supplements.
 
GoodluckBB said:
Hi ladies,
I saw a PDF version of 'It Starts with the Egg' looks like a really useful book for us to read and learn more of what we can do to help ourselves.

I got so interested that I ordered a copy of the book. Awaiting its arrival....anyone read that book yet? Seems to teach us a lot about the supplements we can take to boost our chances. I've also ordered Life Extension supplements like Coenzyme Q10, Vit E... etc.

Wondered why my doc did not even suggest all these supplements.
Click to expand...
It's because it's supplementary, these may help but not a must...

true being told, I have never touched these you mentioned above :p
 
Hi Mrsfrogy,
Yes, it's an active group. Not sure about whatsapp group though...

Are u starting your IVF journey or in the midst of it?
 
GoodluckBB said:
Thanks for this... it's also something I have been thinking about... should I go on leave or continue to work. But really my job isn't desk-bound. I work with children so it is super tiring... Often, I ask myself why am I not taking care of myself and taking care of other people's children. But at the same time, if I go on leave, then it may invite gossip of other ladies, especially those who have no issues conceiving naturally.
Click to expand...
I heard so many gossips until i am " immune" to it. Family members, colleagues, friends keep asking when you want to get preg? Once they knew i started ivf treatment, more gossips came in. Some indeed offered good advices which i appreciated it until today, but indirectly added stress to myself. After failed first few attempts, i decided not to tell anyone regarding my trial in ivf, just btw me, husband and a few closed friends. Even i got positive beta, i still kept it low profile as too many unforeseen circumstances could happen. I felt less stressful when nobody keep asking me for " update"...
 
I did adopt a pet in my ttc journey, now the pet is still with me, good companion as i m trained to be a dog mother for 3 yrs before succeed in ivf.
 
By the way, i took vit D 1000 iu per day before FET, and folic acid. Doc said asian are afraid of sun, so most deficiency in vit D. I am one of them.
 
That's my plan too... no need update anyone... till success! Only thing...HR still got to inform and take leave. That's the tricky thing. Haiz...

I had a dog before I got married. But now can't ... cos my husband is allergic and will get asthma.
 
Sharing on pregnancy journey

I experienced very minor spotting since tested beta positive ( meaning wk 4 preg). Continue hormon support via oral and vaginal insert until week 6 first scan. Confirmed one sac inside womb and size was correct. Both of me and doc were delighted but need to come back following week to scan heart beat. Week 7 +, can see heart beat, it was a viable pregnancy according to doc. And doc gave me medical leave until end of first trisemester since my spotting getting worse ( so i officially stop working), getting plenty of bed rest at hm, weekly proluton jab ( not sure the name correct or not) , the injection was at bum bum, super painful. With oral, vaginal insert and injection, i sailed through 1st trimester. I went back to work for 2nd trimester ( stop all hormone support medication, just regular supplement for preg like muti vit, calcium etc), everything seems fine. Then entered 3rd trimester, i went to baby expo, walked for an hour plus, next day, not just spotting, but whole panty soaked with blood, immediately admitted into hosp. I faced the risk of pre mature labour. Low grade fever somemore. Again, stop working at week 32 +..all my mc, annual leaves used up, only left unpaid leaves. I was super stressful as really felt guilt for going to baby expo which i think is the cause to trigger this episode. Mild wife kept checking for any sign of labour, as already opened 1 cm. Jab was given to me to " mature" baby s lung in case deliver early, followed by the hormon injection/oral med to stop bleeding. I was lucky, i stayed in hosp for 2 weeks, nothing happen, then discharged but ordered for bed rest at hm. By week 36 ++, doc said no need to wait, as baby size was right, both of us agreed to take the baby out early. I opted for c section and delivered my precious baby after ttc for 6 yrs ( 2 yrs tried natural no result, <1 yr tried clomid also no result, then followed by 3 yrs ivf journey).
 
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I wrote these down, just to share as i also received many positive energy from this forum in my ttc journey esp when i was lost.
 
For the FET, doc was very creative, i tried endo scratch, one dose down regulate ( to suppress the ovary activity), two-dose down regulate, intralipid, insert " probiotic" like flora tablet into vaginal , even metformin just to promote implantation. As i said earlier, i did have several positive beta, but same recipe success for this round, might not work for next transfer. Also stress factor. Just continue to try and wait for right timing.
 
Hi DearDarling,

Thanks so much for sharing your story.

I just started my IVF journey. Day 3 of jabs.
Been thinking of work matters too... how to take leave? Not sure how this will go for me. Will I have a dramatic pregnancy and need to stay home at this age? I don't know. So many questions and no answers.

Your story is inspiring and I hope I get my baby soon. Thanks for sharing. Really appreciate it.
 
GoodluckBB said:
Hi DearDarling,

Thanks so much for sharing your story.

I just started my IVF journey. Day 3 of jabs.
Been thinking of work matters too... how to take leave? Not sure how this will go for me. Will I have a dramatic pregnancy and need to stay home at this age? I don't know. So many questions and no answers.

Your story is inspiring and I hope I get my baby soon. Thanks for sharing. Really appreciate it.
Click to expand...
i feel you... even when i am taking my STIMMs now, i am still busy with work. And with so much catchup needed in Jan. I am not sure if HL will take effect after my ER too.

40ish TTC and getting stressy too. haiz.....
 
qqduckie said:
i feel you... even when i am taking my STIMMs now, i am still busy with work. And with so much catchup needed in Jan. I am not sure if HL will take effect after my ER too.

40ish TTC and getting stressy too. haiz.....
Click to expand...

Hi qqduckie,

How are you going along with the STIMMs? All good? When is egg retrieval? This is exciting.. we are doing this the same timing! :) All the best!
 
My last ivf for eggs retrieve happened when i blowed my 40 yo candles. The process did not go on smooth as previous cycles, i had bleeding after the procedure ( not spotting, but, bleed). Anyhow, this cycle managed to collect like 12 to 14 oocyte. Half sent for ivf, half sent for ICSI. ICSI fertilisation rate was much higher than ivf, by end of day 5, only 5 to 6 embyos made it to blastocyst. All were frozen for future transfer. I just took 1 day off for the egg retrieve procedure, also 1 day off for FET. In btw, half day leaves to go back clinic for scanning of lining ( i think 2x scanning, day 2, and one more day to confirm the tripled line). I dont like to apply medical leave, as i dont want anyone asking me about the reason for the " sickness", anyway, it is just my own preference.
 
Among the 3 cycles of egg retrieve, the last cycle yielded the highest number of embryos. I guess doc increased the dose according to my age, and also i m less stressful since trying for no.2. But honestly, i only succeed at last transfer ( used up all embryos), meaning among 5/6 embryos, mostly are abnormal and only last one is viable. So to say, qtty cannot guarantee the quality, i saw at least 2 cases, only 1 blastocyst by day 5 , transfer the only one, and resulted in live birth. These 2 cases are closed friends of mine. Lucky them.
 
That's reality for us.... egg quality is really something we can't control. Just pray that God provides. Of cos we all want to use our own eggs so that we can have a child that is 50% our DNA. But at the end... it's all Heaven Willing... so let's all stay positive. That God will help us somehow create those eggs that can reach the blastocyst stage and will implant beautifully. :)

If Constance Song can do it at 40plus, and so many other women can... so can we all!

Thanks for your sharing... knowledge is always power. Hope every woman trying hard this season, will get some Christmas miracle.
 
Hi everyone! I’m turning 38 in 2023. Hope I’m eligible to join..

Had my first IVF cycle, am waiting to hear from the hospital whether the embryos are suitable for transfer. Certainly hope there’s Christmas miracle!
 
GoodluckBB said:
Hi Mrsfrogy,
Yes, it's an active group. Not sure about whatsapp group though...

Are u starting your IVF journey or in the midst of it?
Click to expand...
Hihii, Im so sorry just saw this I don't know how to check msg here yet..im in the midst I would say....next week endo surgery then rest 2/3 months then start to transfer. How about you?
 
Mrsfrogy said:
Hihii, Im so sorry just saw this I don't know how to check msg here yet..im in the midst I would say....next week endo surgery then rest 2/3 months then start to transfer. How about you?
Click to expand...

Hi Mrsfrogy,

No worries. I'm in the midst too...here and there... doing egg retrieval next week.

All the best in your journey... maybe we will be preggers around the same time. :) It's always great to have the support from other ladies on this forum. I've found everyone to be understanding of the womanly issues we face not just physically, but emotionally and mentally... so it's really helpful to speak to people here.

Which clinic/Dr/hospital are you with?
 
GoodluckBB said:
Hi Mrsfrogy,

No worries. I'm in the midst too...here and there... doing egg retrieval next week.

All the best in your journey... maybe we will be preggers around the same time. :) It's always great to have the support from other ladies on this forum. I've found everyone to be understanding of the womanly issues we face not just physically, but emotionally and mentally... so it's really helpful to speak to people here.

Which clinic/Dr/hospital are you with?
Click to expand...
Oh wow good luckkk!! And yes I dont have anyone I know that is going though the same journey but glad I found this group :) Im with dr.suresh nair. How about you? And when are you planning to transfer? For me, my tf timing would be from May onwards coz need to recover from endo surgery first....
 
Hi hi Mrsfrogy...

Im with Dr Charles Lim at Mt E.
I think yours is Mt E Novena, right?
I don't know for sure when I will do a transfer... we will know soon after another scan coming up this Saturday.

I wish you a speedy recovery from your endo surgery. May month transfer means you will be welcoming a Dragon yr baby! Super exciting really!

Everyone here is nice and I am truly grateful to the little friendships I have made in this journey. Stay positive and all the best!
 


GoodluckBB said:
Hi hi Mrsfrogy...

Im with Dr Charles Lim at Mt E.
I think yours is Mt E Novena, right?
I don't know for sure when I will do a transfer... we will know soon after another scan coming up this Saturday.

I wish you a speedy recovery from your endo surgery. May month transfer means you will be welcoming a Dragon yr baby! Super exciting really!

Everyone here is nice and I am truly grateful to the little friendships I have made in this journey. Stay positive and all the best!
Click to expand...
Thank you so much and all the best to you too!! Hope you get many many embryos rainbow babies :)
 
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