@!! in laws problems!!

[crescent]

i was ok with my PIL... but not after i give birth to my DD... i oso very pissed with them!.... here's my story...

my mom come over to do my confinement for me...during my confinement stupid PIL EVERYDAY/NITE oso come over! then once my hubby or my mom open the hse door, them will chong to go into my room to see bb... no knock or anyting! somemore they not only go in see lor.. as the bb cot is on my side of the bed, they will practically sit on my side of the bed to see DD... everynite oso like tat for my whole confinement! been hinting my hubby but useless bum just keep quiet & tinks there's nuthing wrong wif tat... can still ask me back 'what's wrong wif tat?' Damn bloody pissed!
cos pil helps to buy food over for my mum to cook for me, so he will bring over in the morning... once my mum open the door he will just chong in to my room to see bb dun care whether i'm still sleeping or wat , no knock or anything... so after a few times if i know he's coming over in the morning, i purposely ask my mom to close the door even if i'm not doing anyting.... even my mum oso complaint, my sis oso buay tahan... if it's her she alr flare up alr....

then the min fil see my ger, he will keep saying 'yeye leh? yeye le lor yeye le lor.... mama leh? mama le lor...' (means, where's grandpa, grandpa come alr.. where's grandma, grandma come alr) even when she sleeping he also will call... then mil keep waiting to wake her up.... always treat her like doll like tat!

they do not have any exp taking care of bb (my hubby was taken care by his ahma) then wana act like know... keep saying tis saying tat... all from the hearsay of others!

bb wana sleep & drinking milk also keep calling her! then got to keep telling them to call her when she wana sleep or drink milk... cos very distracting to her...

everytime complaint to hubby, he's on pil side... tinks nuthing is wrong wif wat they doing.... it's very frustrating to talk to him !

 

[kimifin]

crescent,
me was ok with PIL also b4 bb came out.

Cos we dun live with PIL, so no friction.
But i also got similar exp when confinement, they buy food n come during time when me, bb n conf need to rest (after lunch). yah, some n see bb, sometimes i BF bb, so have to loudly tell them b4 they come to my room.

another new pattern came, when hub go overseas n i have to stay over at their plc for a few wks, cos i cant cope alone. I am not allowed to wash my clothes in their washing machine! arghh. duno FIL say he can't wash my pants, BUT i say i use the washer myself, also cant? their house happen to be the older flats, clothes must put poles out (i dun dare, with my weight, i may tilt over!)so end up, if really need to stay over, i go home every few days to wash clothes!

Ur bb how old now?

 

[crescent]

my bb now 6mths alr...

 

[kimifin]

sometimes still need their help, so i just tolerate unless really not right lor.
keep asking MIL dun carry son, she din listen.

who will be taking care?yourself?

 

[crescent]

i took care of bb myself during my maternity leave... my mum just helps me in the cooking during my confinement for abt 1 mth plus... bb still i take care myself...

now working bb in IFC... i die die oso dun wan my inlaw to take care even if she's older... they know nuts abt taking care of bb... can still ask stupid qs like 'wat is she tinking?' when bb is just look blank just b4 falling asleep... then can oso ask 'why she keep smiling?' when she's sleeping... really feel like telling her...'she dream tat u all not here smile lor, when dream u all here she cry lor'

i dun need so much of their help.... as long as they dun give me problems regarding my ger good liao... dun expect their help lor... thanks but no thanks lor...

 

[crescent]

somemore my mil very scare when my ger poo poo... she will run far far away say very smelling... got 1 time i changing diaper for my ger outside then my fil wan to come near, she tell him she shit very smelling u still go so near... WTF lor..

cannot stand then last time still can comment tat she feel like help to take care.. really thanks but no lor!

then my fil oso i kind... everyday go IFC to see her... then call his stupid verse... even until today... like her name is 'yeye' like tat!

i dun care i tell the IFC teachers if he come dun need to carry her near him to let him see...

i purposely never put their names down as next person to call and authorise person to fetch her incase me or hubby cannot make it in time... i put my sister name instead...

 

[kimifin]

Wah, good that u r independent. their 1st godchild so they v free ah?
Not good to always go IFC n c bb. Later bb tot anytime can go home.
Nothg much u can do since hub dun bother this matter.
Yah, if they find so smelly, then dun need to thk to take care.
Old folks dun hav much EQ...

 

[kimifin]

Sometimes I also piss when they call him names, hokkien nicks, v er xin lah. Too bad hub din stop.
Well, I gona say if bb learn to say too.

 

[crescent]

dun say #1... i'm not going to let them take care my other bb oso lor....

ya lor, i oso told my hubby to ask his father dun go not good for bb somemore the IFC teachers dun really like... but he dun see any problems wif tat..damn bloody pissed wif him oso lor!

he nv get his priority right lor... his parents higher priority then bb... then sun i oso very angry... suppose to have renion dinner together wif his aunts & parents... then i told him to go alone, bb still have flu dun wana bring her out somemore sunday is whole day raining but he insist to bring her go...say only go eat come back liao... tat end up ard 11pm then reach home cos waiting for cab for 1.5 hrs!

i my ger so poor ting..

 

[kimifin]

aiyoh.
yah, if i m IFC teacher, i will feel being watched.
but the sch is so open ah??

i know some IFC only a small window, so is like "open to public"

the weather so bad, actually hub also dun wan bring bb out for dinner, cos raining...we go car, yet will get the rain cos no shelter n rain so heavy.

CNY, just try to give n take at times, or find a time to talk things out.

 

[beatrice_chua]

I guess they are just excited with the baby, maybe because they didn't have the chance to take care of your husband when he was young.

Maybe you can tell them nicely what you feel. But please dont make them feel that you dont need them even if you feel that way.

Someday, you'll be an inlaws too, and I cant promise that you wont feel the need to help your children raise your grandchildren. Until then, we will never understand.

Hope this helps.

 

[lemlynn]

I agree with beatrice, grandparents tend to be more kan cheong with their grandchildren.

Tolerate a little, seeing their grandchildren is something they look forward to do.

My MIL can sometimes be insensitive towards things, especially interms of handling kids. BUT once in a while, I still need her help to care for my kids.