Help Needed: Cheating Spouse

[pschian]

Hi,

I discovered in Aug last year that my husband was cheating me for almost 3 years. I was already 8mths pregnant with #2 and this affected me and my baby came out almost a month earlier than her due date. I checked his phone and saw some weird numbers and I found out he had been patronising those PRC who provides special massage services. He claimed he did not engage in sex, just massage (source: sammyboyforum) and that he did not do anything except to give in and did a hand job once in the 2-3 yrs he strayed. Do you believe his story? I checked and the package contains 1/2 handjob and I find it unbelievable that he never do it if he's paying for the whole package. When I was about to deliver, he asked if I wanted to consider c section as he was worried I was infected with herpes and spread to baby via vaginally birth. He went to take a STD test and result was negative. I was thinking, why would a man contact herpes if it's just a simple massage with no sex involved? Though I had forgiven him then, I still think about this now and then. The trust is broken and I'm thinking hard whether to divorce as I don't want the kids to spilt. Recently, I suspect that he could have went to hotels too (I checked his Google surf history), just that he did not confess this part. I managed to get the dates and time and the hotels but the private investigators said it's impossible to check if he made a booking. Would like to gather help and advice from mothers. Would anyone of your friends work in Riverview, Bayview, Fragrance (Waterfront), Hotel Jem, Swissotel and can help me do a check on past records? I'm sorry but I'm very desperate to know the truth. I tried to interrogate him to confess (last resort, divorce) but he claimed he didn't go such places.

 

[tiggerpooh]

I m sorry to hear what u r going thru. But u wld b better off getting evidence going forward.

Even if someone manages 2 find d info u required, he can always argue dat he booked d room 2 rest, etc.... A matter of he says / she says

If u have already engaged a PI, just get d PI 2 do d job if u think he is still cheating on u.

 

[krazimitzi]

I can totally understand what you mean about the trust, and sadly, you're right. Trust broken is very, very hard to be mended again. I agree that you should just go ahead with the PI's evidence and do what needs to be done - if that's for the best of your future. After all, as you said, you've asked him so many times and he still won't be truthful to you. And that's kinda... the basic thing a relationship ultimately needs - honesty. I'm so sorry that this has happened.

 

[shoppixe]

The truth doesn't help you make decisions it just "part justifies" your decision.
If it's true, you leave you will be a single mom caring for you children.
If it's untrue, you stay always doubting issit this time you just din open the right box to uncover his infidelity.

They will claim they din do anything wrong, fundamentally why do you think he's going to such places exposing himself and urself to STDs, not to forget your unborn child.
Why not have a frank talk with him? And as a responsible adult he should go for tests frequently OR dun touch you. Seriously.

I have a friend, husband strayed, she suspect, she found evidence in the end she confronted and still stayed on. As she cannot support herself or Holstein financially.
Whether you CAN leave is a very real question, nothing emotional abt it. Settle this first then think abt the next qn.

 

[Xhar0205]

I’m a PR and my husband is a Singaporean. Today, i randomly checked his phone and found out that he’s engaging in a ‘massage parlor’. I’m not so sure if he went there already or just booked an appt. I have all the evidence of the time he contact the number and also i found out that the number belongs to a PRC that do those sexual services that can search from the internet. It’s not his first time to do this last time with Thai, Viet etc. We’re having a 2nd child and we’re getting a house next year. I don’t know if i just accept it or separatehim. He knows that i know but still acting blur and trying to change the topic to make me the one who’s at fault. What to do? We’re young couple so i feel that it’s better to divorce that stay in this kind of relationship.
My husband will not admit it whatever it takes he will revert the problem to me that i always started this kind of nonsense.