Conflict with mil

[dinding]

Hi mummies anybody have conflict with your mother in law??

the conflict i have with my mil

- she insisted my hubby to give her $ 700 for food cos she say my hubby not paying anything for the family, but mind her lo my hubby have to pay the whole family hp bills and fil season parking. mil bill always burst which led to at least $300 for starhub bills and season parking for fil and my hubby ard $180 liao
- my hubby and i got a flat she insisted tat she want to move in with us together with sil and fil. actually i dont really mind but they are really super dirty one etc my sil can leave her panties in the bath room until got worm lo.
- she quoted me $1800 for taking care of my both kids( my next baby is due next yr feb ) my gross salary is only $1700

actually still got more disgusting stories lo!! when i got time then post !

 

[Panic Mummy]

Hi mummies anybody have conflict with your mother in law??

the conflict i have with my mil

- she insisted my hubby to give her $ 700 for food cos she say my hubby not paying anything for the family, but mind her lo my hubby have to pay the whole family hp bills and fil season parking. mil bill always burst which led to at least $300 for starhub bills and season parking for fil and my hubby ard $180 liao
- my hubby and i got a flat she insisted tat she want to move in with us together with sil and fil. actually i dont really mind but they are really super dirty one etc my sil can leave her panties in the bath room until got worm lo.
- she quoted me $1800 for taking care of my both kids( my next baby is due next yr feb ) my gross salary is only $1700

actually still got more disgusting stories lo!! when i got time then post !

Hi ding, sounds really bad.

 

[cheeksymummy]

I would say.. No please don't let them move in if you can afford too. Sounds like they are leeching off your hubby! As for taking care of your kids, explain to her that you can't afford to do so given your salary. If not you have to place the elder one in childcare and just play her for taking care of the younger one.

 

[cel_]

Yup I agree. U can place both your children in childcare and infant care. Maybe is even lower than $1800/-. Baby can be independent and lessen conflicts if both children are in childcare and indant care. If possible not to stay with in laws, then is better else you will be facing their family lifestyle for many years down the road. Does your hubby has siblings? Maybe his siblings can share the cost for your parents in laws Hp bills? Or give a cutoff budget for them to use? Or ask ur hubby to voice out ?

 

[toblerone]

Hi mummies anybody have conflict with your mother in law??

the conflict i have with my mil

- she insisted my hubby to give her $ 700 for food cos she say my hubby not paying anything for the family, but mind her lo my hubby have to pay the whole family hp bills and fil season parking. mil bill always burst which led to at least $300 for starhub bills and season parking for fil and my hubby ard $180 liao
- my hubby and i got a flat she insisted tat she want to move in with us together with sil and fil. actually i dont really mind but they are really super dirty one etc my sil can leave her panties in the bath room until got worm lo.
- she quoted me $1800 for taking care of my both kids( my next baby is due next yr feb ) my gross salary is only $1700

actually still got more disgusting stories lo!! when i got time then post !

以你的情况，老师是站中立。

(i)家婆讨家用是天经地义，她把儿子养到那么大，拿钱是应该的。
(ii)家婆要进来住，相信是舍不得儿子。等到多几年，无依无靠嘛。你的家翁家婆若有本事驾Mercedes Benz，他们才懒得帮进来跟你们同住。就是因为他们helpless，所以要搬进来。

However, closely studying your case,
(1) 家婆讨多钱，有她的原因。一定有她的理由，不然不会无端端要多钱。她应该看不贯你们夫妇很多东西。老师遇过很多这样的case.
(2) SIL不会自动给人带来生活上的不便，表示她没有家教。Too pampered.

站在道德立场，
(I) 你丈夫夹在中间会难做人。他不懂要帮自己的老婆，还是，站在他爸妈那边。
(II) 要是把那两个老家伙踢出去赶到Holland，对你有啥好处啊？
(III) 你因果好的话，家翁老婆不会给你headache issue. 你更不会这辈子遇到他们。

I know you don't like, and hoping they don't disturb you but what to do? 难道要断绝来往不成？谁叫你前世欠他们的？今世有缘，所以你才做她的媳妇。Hide here, hide there no use. 终究欠他们的，这辈子还完就没事了。

Anyway, always remember below two points.

Point 1
MIL and FIL还能活多几年呢？家翁家婆脚都踏进棺材了，两个老家伙日子不多了啦。Believe me, when they mati already, then you'll have lots of bitter and sweet memories. 家翁家婆一躺进棺材，媳妇的责任算大功告成了。所不定活不过十年就死悄悄了。变成鬼也不会再来kar-jeow你。老师跟你担保，他们死后亡魂还会回来看孙子的。（老师已写了很多故事，这里就不说）

Point 2
What happened if your own mother being treated by your brother's wife? 意思是，要是自己的妈妈给（哥哥/弟弟的老婆）媳妇这样对待的话，不知道有什么感受？将心比心嘛...

 

[josiren13]

So i guess itz all about money.
If itz not for the money issues. do you think they are actually a nice bunch of ppl? Or... maybe not still.

For strangers of different living habits to live together is not easy and it may cause further conflicts and hatred.

If you can't bear the thought of it, then perhaps you and your DH should discuss these issues tactfully with them (inlaws).

No point trying too hard, and end up with hard feelings.

Family live together because they have love and warmth.

If this Love is not present, then I guess living separately will be the best for all of you

Your kids will need their own rooms someday anyway.

 

[selp]

Ask ur own mom for help.