Anyone TTC in July 2006?

I feel that the life of a working mum is one big circus. In the morning, you wake up, get the kids ready, then you dash out of the house. You finish work, come back, settle the kids, and by then almost your own bedtime. Then weekends, there is also no time cos you will be looking after the kids the whole day.

But its true at least you can have some me-time during lunch break. And occassionally can take 1 day leave for yourself. But otherwise, I do feel like I'm working 7 days a week non stop - very much like SAHM who is working non stop also. Just that this one has different stress, cos you have more people bugging you like your boss and colleagues who demand this and that...
 


OH gosh.. life is not easy. Having to read so much. There's always no conclusion if it's good to be SAHM or Full time working mom. It's still 7X 24.

Irene,
I am speechless when I was reading your weekly life. Luckily Josh goes to full time childcare else life would be worse with 2 kids. I am indeed surprise ur DH is not helping much even in the weekend. Eg. U get the kids and yourself prepared then he will wake up and get prepare to go out. SHOCKING to even hear that. Thought that's the olden days men. SHOCK SHOCK SHOCK.

Hung, Irene
Having to see/watch your finance and be controlled.. Possible to have savings?? Do u both get bonus during end year or something like that as yearly SAHM bonus?
 
Mich,
Is your experience meaning fresh from indo or past experience working in Malaysia/SIngapore?
I am sourcing for new maid and ex singapore/malaysia salary is 390 dollars now. I am thinking if this is the market rate?

hung
So ur case is not so bad. Your DH gives you money indirectly for you to save for raining days. If your DH gets 6 months, u must try to achieve your 6 months pay(fixed allowances too)
 
Gal, my maid has a few yrs of experience already. The salary for maids now are quite high and what you mentioned seems normal.
 
Mich,
Ok. If it seems normal then not so bad. I was shocked when they told me $390. Ur maid is also an ex-singapore? How do u feel about ex-singapore maids as compared to new maids? i usually have new maids but this time I am thinking of getting maids with experience for a change.
 
yup yup the rich mummy is pregnant le. bumped into her last fri at united sq when we were both q-ing for the barney show.

gal, my maid is ex-SIN (4 yrs), we paying her $370 with no off days
 
Sweet
Being ex SIN, did she request for mobile phone from the very start? Can yours cook something out without being taught?
 
Gal, think u will need to give more freedom to the ex sin. My maid had a handphone and off days from the start. I warned her not to get into trouble and it's been fine these few years despite the freedom, so it all depends on the character of the maid. Prefer ex sin as she is experienced and can do decent cooking.
 
Mich,
I think the approach for New maids and ex sin maid is definitely different. I haven't tried one and my mom haven't too. I requested for no off days from the start and no handphone but I doubt that can last long. Just wondering here if they will request for both the items the moment they arrive or?? I was thinking they are allowed to use calling card and my home phone. So, your maid can cook something immediately the moment she arrive at your place?
 
Its hard for an ex-sin to have no off days and no handphone because they already have some kind of network and social circle. So its hard to cut them off. Actually if you allow them some freedom, they may work better as they have emotional support. That's what I find true for my maid.

My maid was transferred from my friend. My friend didn't like her cos she says this maid is always day dreaming and depressed. My friend didn't give any off days and the maid had no handphone. So my friend asked if I wanted to try her out. I was ok to take her and I gave her off days and handphone. I didn't find that she was day dreaming or depressed. Infact I thought she was quite efficient. She told me later she was depressed when working for my friend because she had no friends and no one in her own community to connect with. So may not be so good to dis- allow them to get in touch with friends etc.
Ya my maid has been traned in cooking. So I just have to give basic instructions and she can cook.
 
bear,
When are u intending to start working?

I'm the same as u in the weekends, wake up early cook porridge, feed my dog and prepare ovann's stuff. Then he will wake up, go take a dump, den pack ovann's bag, den go & take a dump again b4 we bathed and go out. Dun understand why got so many sh*t cannot do it once, must do it twice de?

peg,
I oso dun like to ask hubby for $$. I hardly hv savings cos he only give me a fixed amt every mth, and i hv to pay my bills/insurance with it. After deducting, i dun hv much to spend liao. He pays for the rest of the stuff though. I used to scrimp and save with watever is left from my allowance but these days i find it difficult cos sometimes i need to buy groceries. So sometimes i bring ovann and we lunch at restaurants (without hubby ..hahah ..) and swipe his sub-card. Same for buying toys for ovann.
 
Mich,
I often hear maids having too many phone calls which is also why I have this impression that it's best to allow them to call using my house phone and not have personal handphone. This is something I have been thinking. Maybe will just try this ex-singpoare and see how things goes. Does your maid bring the kids out??

Pegsfur,
Are you working now? If so, ur hubby still give u allowances?
 
pegsfur,
Oh, u sahm.. I thought you were working all along.. So, u looking after ovann all by yourself without maid like irene??? How old is ovann now? schooling yet?
 
gal, my maid got no hp. the agency from where she came from dun allow them to carry hps and she knew that right from the start, so she didnt ask for 1. she is those thrify type, even we provide her with a phone card to call home, she is onto her 2nd card only. she has been with us for 6 mths

yup mine can cook when she came but not fantastic cooking lah. for us its ok since i cant cook for nuts! haha
 
Gal, frankly I'd rather my maid dun touch my house phone ha ha ha. But I think its up to your comfort level. Maybe when u trust her, u can allow her to have her own hp. Bring the kids out on her own? I seldom let my maid stay with my kids alone. She only brings Isaac out to walk walk along the corridoor. Otherwise, she doesn't bring the kids out on her own.
 
Mich,
hahahah..Maybe not bringing your kids out.. Let's say your DH, kids, maid and you all went out for dinner/lunch and u and your DH sitting down eating while your maid brings your kids out to walk around/ play slides so on and so on... I often see maid hiding one corner and talk on the phone and don't really care about the kids and sometimes it can be dangerous.

Sweet
can I ask which agency did you go?
 
Mich, I agree that going to work also got work stress. Really dunno how to continue to stay happy and nice to my kids if I were to have a bad day at work!

Gal, I didn't know my life can give you so much SHOCK. Hahaha..
Sometimes my hb will want to help bathe Joshua on weekends but he will insist he wants me till we get angry with him and insist back that it will be daddy on weekends.
But most of the time, I will bathe both kids while my hb get ready the milk and wash up all the bottles and barang.

Pegsfur, I am still considering if it will be next year. But even if its next year, it should be late next year. I feel quite sad that I didn't get to spend as much time with Jayla as compared to Joshua who only goes to full day cc when he was 2.5yrs old. I am trying hard to be fair as much as possible to both kids.
 
gal, so far only brought current maid out for lunch with my family once niah and i didnt allow her to walk out of the eating area w/o us.

but might be bringing her out again with us on weekends coz its a dread to Q for those cartoon performances at mall. trish making noise, wan to watch "Hi-5" so probably need to put my maid there to Q while we go walk walk.

we went to JobNet at Bt Timah Plaza. they are a small establishment, run by a middle-aged couple.
 
Irene,
It's indeed shocking to me. Really like a wife that does 95% of the work. I don't think I can handle such life. If am like that, I would have choosen to go back to work asap. After all, it's mental stress at work and physical and mental stress at home.

Without a maid, I really look like crazy woman. One moment drive her to and from school, enrichment program and doctor. Next, it will be cooking. Then bathing and feeding then reading and writing and teaching (which she likes to do everyday). Lastly, still have to play with her. I am totally exhausted by 6 plus. So, i will sleep around 9++ latest else I can't handle the next day. I know all women have some sort of 'inner strength' but didn't know u have that much heheheehe

Sweet,
Oh.. u have been to those cartoon performances at mall. Which is worthwhile going so far? I am hoping to bring Serena to DORA but until now still haven't started
 
Gal, I always ask her to eat first then she will help look after the kids when she us done. But actually I seldom bring her out unless it's to a friend's house or to parties. Then she can help keep an eye on the girls while I catch up with friends. And she doesn't bring her handphone out so that is no issue.
 
yogi,
Yup, i'm like bear, looking after kiddo all by myself. Ovann is 15mths now .. not schooling cos still small, but am putting him at GUG class for twice a week
happy.gif


bear,
After leaving the corporate world for some time, are u afraid of going back? Alot of times i want to put ovann in cc and go to work but am so afraid of being out of touch with the world. And another part of me can't bear to leave ovann to other people to take care. Hiaz .. so conflicting de.

Btw, are u continuing jayla at GUG for next term? So pek chek with the staff ... i initially wanted to start ovann only next term but they said they can't guarantee if i'll get the 11.30am slot cos time table not out yet. But they assured me that if i sign ovann for current term now, i will confirm get the same slot next term. Now they r telling me there's no 11.30am slot for next term. Damn pissed .. felt i've been conned.
 
pegsfur, bear
So both of you in the same class for GUG?

pegsfur,
U have a blog or facebook where I can see a picture of ovann?
 
gal, so far been to barney and dora. dora is showing liao, at raffles city! probably will only go for 1 more Hi-5, if any. cant bear the Qs for these kind of performance hahaha

dora's Q is much shorter and they only allow children into the carpeted area so can admit more kids. barney show, they no restriction so all parents sat in too, so very squeezy!
 
Sweet
I hv this tea party with Dora arranged for Serena. Dun know how it will go. Also her first cartoon mall thingy . Hopefully it will be enjoyable.
 
Gal, I think being a SAHM is more meaningful than working if really can afford it. There is certainly more sense of satisfaction when we can multi-tasked as driver, chef, teacher and all. I do missed the time as a SAHM, but then i also missed $$ lah..haha. Yes, I believe all mums have the inner strength when really need it, we can really stretch ourselves to the limit, we can do it. Tat time, with a maid around, i feel so helpless, only taking care with my boy so I decided let go of the maid and "rough" it out. Yes, very tough, but meaningful and i feel more appreciated.

We have been to Barney last sat, it was a mad squeeze. Tmr gg to elmo at plaza sing, gg to mad squeeze again. I think next week there is winnie the pooh n friends at Nex.

Pegsfur, yes, I was also given fixed allowance, no addition. but if i sign my sup card, he will still pay, so ok lor, i shop at NTUC using credit card then if really no choice then use cash to pay for groceries.

ladies, it is possible to feel a bb's kick at 14 weeks? I tot i felt one hard shove at the left side of my tummy, it happened when my boy and me were talking just before sleeping. My boy was talking very excited then suddenly, one shove against my left tummy as if telling me tat he/she wants to join in our conversation.
 
Peg gal
With the second child around the corner, will u think abt being a sahm again?
Yes. Kids being close to the mom us definitely better than close to the bed. I hv no complains right now with the amount of money given by hubby. So it's more like being appreciated. If I stop at 1 , most likely would hv a chance to go bk to work 1-2 years time or maybe part time. If really strike another child, there goes my working plans
 
Gal, if my hubby can afford, why not. Just bite the bullet and xin ku for another 2 yrs. once the child is 2 yrs, send to cc.
 
Peg
I recalled feeling my girl's kick when she was 18 months. Bk then, gynae mentioned we will feel it earlier for 2nd child.. So that could be it...
 
Pegsfur, yes I do have some fear of going back to the workforce but I do feel excited about it too.
Yes, I miss the money and interaction but I know I am going to cry from missing my kids!

Peg, I agree totally that having a maid around and with one kid will make me too free. That time Joshua goes cc and I was home with maid and jayla only I felt so free and useless. I feel surfing web and watching tv when jayla is napping a total waste of time.

When the maid left, I was so happy that I wash two toilets twice that week. I feel my time better utilized with housework, cooking and entertaining the kids. I guess I am the jian4 kind who dunno how to enjoy life!

Gal, I think I would be feeling very happy with I only have Joshua and chauffeuring him around + housework + cooking. Seriously, I think it's quite an easy life compared to now. But that is ofcoz after I have been thru the juggling betw 2 kids + housework+cooking.
You have to go thru the tougher one before you appreciate the current situation

I am sure your hb is doing a great job in supporting the family so you should have no qualms about having another kid.

If my hb comes back from work not so late and he bothers to give mr some attention then all my hard works are worth it. If hb's doting attention, it's really not that tough. But too bad he is really stressed at work and too busy till I am very neglected thus feeling down.
 
What a day to rain!! I forgotten to bring my umbrealla and I park the car soo far away from serena's school. Have to walk in the rain back to the car and all drenched. Luckily Serena is at school and it's only me walking like crazy woman back to the car... aiiiii

Irene,
I think everyone needs hb's doting attention. I felt it much more when we were in Australia. I guess it's Singapore stressful environment. It's more relax in Australia. My DH also stressed up at work easily now. Guess it's the higher amount of work load as well as the ppl an environment.

I am not as hardworking as you definitely. Before having Serena, even living Australia with no maids. I am those lazy type. Keep piling plates and bowls in sink till weekend then wash at one go. Toilet also wash monthy type hehe.. That was when I was unmarried. After got married, DH took ownership of all chores and I felt being a princess all again. So now that I have Serena. It sounds a lot of work to me... U are very right in saying one needs to learn to appreviate current situation and STOP thinking back how little the workload was before. Gosh... with 2 kids like you, life would be tough manzzz.
 
Gal, wahaha...you actually dare to admit you are the lazy type. Hahaha...don't scold me but I think you really sound damn lazy with a pile of plates in the sink for one week. I cannot even stand seeing a few plates in the sink for 30mins!
Washing toilet once a mth sounds like nightmare to me too! Lol

Now I know why you cannot cope without a maid. You are too used to a princess life. That I really envious! I didn't have to do anything last time when I was not married and staying with my parents except ofcoz my own undies. Life was a total change after we have our own place.

Last time with Joshua. I had a PT cleaner who comes in once a week but i still do housework daily except washing toilets and ironing. Now that I think back, it was really a breeze compared to now. Maybe if I were to have another kid then I would think back and think my current life isma breeze too!!! Hahahaha...
 
Irene
Won't scold u lah.. hahahah. but this is really what life was like in australia. Honestly, I find it nothing wrong before but my mom kept shaking her head whenever she comes and visit me. HAHAHHAAH..All my friends all did it like that do naturally we are used to this sort of life. SINGLE and no family so it's not possible to keep every corner clean esp one person staying in a 5 bedroom house( in australia all stay big houses so will die if we have to keep every corner very clean and no dust at all)But the most tiring thing is vaccumming in Australia, have to do it weekly and sometimes it takes me 1 hour or so to vaccum entire house as all flooring are carpeted.

But life changes after I met my DH. He has his family in Australia so he is used to staying in clean environment and a little dirty also can't stand. To make matter worse, he will have sinus if place get dirty. So as time passes by, he becomes in charge of all the chores. heheeh

Until today, I can still cope with no maid if it's only myself as I quite chin chay (can tahan dust type).. I am ok with the place being dusty but make sure no green algae lah. HAHAHHAHAHAH.
So, think u can understand why I feel life is so difficult now already with Serena. Some more with an allergy child, cannot even be slightly lazy. Dust will make Serena's skin worsen and it shows immediately so can't decieve yourself. Everything and every corner must be spot CLEAN. What a total change of life for me. With a second child, I no eye see......

So, if u ask me now again. I would say it's really so much easier working. hehehe.. Understand the picture???

Hey, I got a strange feeling here u might have 3rd child leh... Accident??
 
Gal, ha ha, I understand what its like as a single. Those years when was studying in the US was also like that. My room mate and I only vacuumed the floor once every few months so u can imagine his disgusting the carpet is. But in Singapore, dirt on the floor is more obvious so I definitely can't stand it. And now with kids, I lag can't stand having undone chores for some reason. It's like over the years I have become a perfectionist in the area of housework.

Even with number two u can go back to work. When number two goes to childcare then u are free to do whatever u want already.
 
Irene, definitely agree that we only appreciate situations when we get to harder ones. When I only had one kid, it seemed soooi tough but now with three kids, I think one kid is like a walk in the park. On some holidays, my in laws will come and bring serene and joy out leaving me and hubby to look after Isaac. And I will feel so happy for those few hours, as it reminds me of those days when I only had one child to juggle.
 
Mich
Actually, It's easier said then done. Having complain so much about chores and things like that. The day having to do back to work would be a sad day and a very big step to move esp now a mom has string(s) attached to them for a while. I bet I will cry too.. How did u do that? What was the one thing that push you over the point and move on to go back to work?
 
probably i am the only odd out here, i actually dun mind going back to work! i was never the maternal sort to start off with and to be stuck looking after kids 24/7 during the ML was enuff to drive me crazy (somemore my hb took all the night feeds and still i felt so tired most of the time)

during trish's time, i only cried a little the night before i was due to go back to work. for tristan's time, didnt even cry at all but was apprehensive since starting at a new job.

i felt that i was better tempered with them when i dun see them for 24/7 and i will miss them. the driving force was that i was finally able to have some me-time, surf net and have the energy to do online shopping! during my ML, i was so dead tired most of the time that i cant even be bothered to buy things online (which is my fav past-time)
 
Gal, the no.3 will come only when I remarry. No more accident after one.

I always wonder how to stay in a house carpeted. Do you all wear shoes in the house? My hb suggested to buy a piece of carpet for one area and I already objected like Mad!

Think after a while you will get used to the no maid routine. But since you intend to have no.2 then just get the maid in now so no need to train later when you are preggie and bad tempered.

Mich, yes! Sometimes when hb and me go out with just one kid, it really bring back the 1st and only kid memory!

Sweet, I can understand la since all along you are quite pampered by parents and hb too.
 
Gal, it wasn't easy going back to work after being a sahm and after maternity leave. Both times I would cry after leaving the house and when I was in the office I would look at the clock and wonder what is happening at home. But the routine set in after a while and it became easier to go to work. But even then, I do feel a sense of sadness everyday when I leave. Especially when Isaac is so cute these days. And I often wonder if I should work... Dilemma...

I choose to work for the same reasons as sweet, I am more sane when I work. I really need the me time and can't handle being with the kids all day long. And I need the sense of achievement that work provides.

Irene, I turly enjoy the one child experience, and it's such lovely memories. But I'm still gald to have more than one child. Perhaps when they are all older and things become easier then I will enjoy the three child experience.
 
Irene, yes we actually wear shoes around the carpeted house cos we can't see the dirt. It is not a good idea to have carpet in Singapore because there is so much dust. My place in the US is fully aircon so it's ok to have full carpet.

Gal, agree with Irene that it's best to get the maid now and train then it will be easy when number two comes along.
 
Hahaa ... when u gals are reminicsing the 1 kiddo time, i was always thinking of those days w/o ovann!! All those free time, shopping, and lunching with siblings ... not to mention going for holidays. Hiaz, now with ovann, go shopping must also consider if the mall is bb friendly, whether the mrt reaches there, whether there are bb chairs in restaurants, and whether it's raining.

Was chatting with my friend just now and she mentioned that my hubby actually indicated that he'd like to have a 2nd child (they were having dinner and her hubby and my hubby are frens). I told her no lor, i dun want to consider another child unless he promise to help out more. I think i'm happy with having only Ovann
happy.gif
 
Just came back from the Dora tea party. Serena cried in the middle of the event. I was shocked and thought what happen.
Serena : Mummy, why all of them don't like me. (pointing to other children). They only hold hands with one another and not me. Only the 'teachers' here like me.
Me : Oh.. other children are just looking after their jie jie, mei mei, didi, kor kor and cousins.
Serena : Gave me a sad face.

Is this normal? Or is she too sensitive?

Overall, I felt it's a good event. 40 minutes with cupcake and drinks served. A dora backpack as goodies bag after the party.
 
Mich, oh..you mean Singapore is really dusty as compared to USA and those ang moh countries ah? I really didn't know that..I thought its the same everywhere! Goodness...I am so suaku leh.

When I see the 2kids loving each other and looking out for each other, I really feel glad I have 2. Although the 2 always fight day and night, Joshua will always make sure Jayla comes out of the lift with him or else he will drag her out as he is very worried the lift door close and she is alone in the lift.
And whenever we scold and punish Joshua, Jayla will cry with him.

Pegsfur, the no kids time was like at least 4yrs+ ago for me and I did enjoy marriage life for 4yrs before I have Joshua thus I don't really miss it that much.
Somemore I am the kind who believes a couple must have at least on kid.

Gal, does Serena have cousins around her age?
 
Irene
Serena dun have cousins too. I am the eldest in the whole extended family for both sides.

So, u got married and didn't have kids for 4 years before TTC?
 
Gal, if Serena doesn't have cousins then it's better to have siblings. Really lonely leh...

We ROM and move into new place and was very comfortable with life till I decide it's time to have a baby then we plan our customary wedding and then start ttc after the wedding dinner.
 
irene, it depends on whether we are comparaing singapore to those big cities in the US or smaller towns. The place I was studying in was not such a big city like NY, so its less dusty as there is alot of open space. Alot less cars also. And plus all houses are fully aircon that's why its less dusty I feel.

Gal, think its normal for Serena to wonder why she doesn't have a companion like the other kids. And kids always prefer the companionship of other kids. If you have a #2, Serena will grow up playing with her brother/sister and won't keep asking u to play with her. Then u will gain your freedom back.

I also didn't have kids for 4 yrs after getting married. Lots of freedom and can spend money on whatever I want since less commitement... gone are those days... the next time I will have the same freedom is when Serene turns 25.
 


Haha .. bear, i din wan any kids when i got married. I was really scared of the kind of stress that parents give to their kids in terms of education and how to bring them up to be a good person, maybe becos i wasn't highly schooled. And i'm still worried abt these 2 problems with ovann now.

Then after married for a few yrs, the maternal instinct sort of struck me, and hubby kept on hinting that he wants a child, and that was when i join this thread? Wow, seems like so long ago .. hahha ... anyway, now that i have ovann after so much difficulties, i think i'm blessed to have only him, though i did think of having #2 to keep him company. But every nite when my back hurts, i withdrew that thot immediately.

Mich, hahaa ... u r funny when u said u'll only hv freedom after yr gal turns 25. Got so long meh? By 21 shld be ok le?
 
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