Anyone had depression before?
- Thread starter xicloudix
- Start date
MummySunshine
Member
Oh dear..
Keep yourself in chill mode..how old are your children? It might be tedious for you now and don't bottled up everything..keep positive..jiayou!
Keep yourself in chill mode..how old are your children? It might be tedious for you now and don't bottled up everything..keep positive..jiayou!
xicloudix
Well-Known Member
My child is 4 yr old n 2.5yr old...
I am trying to be as positive as as I can. .. the mood swings are killing me..
I feel like lying on the bed 24/7 ... but the more I "cage" up myself the more I know I will be depress
belle_mommy
Member
hihi are u working ?
MummySunshine
Member
Awwww~
*Hugs*
I understand how you feel..I guess perhaps it's actually straining for you given your current situation..be it physically, mentally or emotionally..
Gonna take care of the older kids while preggy..hormones are kicking in and especially during 1st trimester..have a talk with your spouse..don't bottled up everything..jiayou mummy!
*Hugs*
I understand how you feel..I guess perhaps it's actually straining for you given your current situation..be it physically, mentally or emotionally..
Gonna take care of the older kids while preggy..hormones are kicking in and especially during 1st trimester..have a talk with your spouse..don't bottled up everything..jiayou mummy!
Summer_babe
Active Member
Same here. I had depression since a few weeks ago. Didn't feel like meeting anyone including my family. I stayed in the room most of the time. My mind was so negative, whatever my MIL said would turned to negative statements. I also had a small fight with hubby because he said he doesn't know what to do with me. I cried, I felt useless, not happy and worst thought of ending my life!~ Until a few days ago, hubby suddenly suggested to move out and get our own place. We're currently living with hubby's parents. He asked me to find the apt. My happy mood came back after that and was excited to look for our own place and everything starting to get brighter again. We've found an apt for ourselves yesterday and now looking forward for the furnitures.
My suggestion is try to do something different that would excite you. Perhap you're tiring of taking care of your child. Send your child to parent for 1 day and do some activities for yourself. Otherwise go for a holiday with hubby but without your kids. Maybe it will helps on your depression.
My suggestion is try to do something different that would excite you. Perhap you're tiring of taking care of your child. Send your child to parent for 1 day and do some activities for yourself. Otherwise go for a holiday with hubby but without your kids. Maybe it will helps on your depression.
PinkyPig88
Member
It did happened to me in my 3rd trimester....
felt so heavy and ugly and lonely... worried at the same time... thinking what will happen after baby is out and many other negative thoughts just appeared without a reason...
since i cant travel by plane and at the same time didnt want to see anyone, i took 2 days leave and book myself a hotel room in sentosa. sleep and chill alone. away from work and people... i promised my hubby i had my phone with me at all time to keep safe...
it did help me a fair bit.
felt so heavy and ugly and lonely... worried at the same time... thinking what will happen after baby is out and many other negative thoughts just appeared without a reason...
since i cant travel by plane and at the same time didnt want to see anyone, i took 2 days leave and book myself a hotel room in sentosa. sleep and chill alone. away from work and people... i promised my hubby i had my phone with me at all time to keep safe...
it did help me a fair bit.
MummyNancy
Member
i felt that maybe u should go out more instead of staying at home. Even when you dont feel like you can still force yourself to go out. cause at least when you are out u have something to see or at least u walk to preoccupied yourself. and exercise will boost one person mood
always remember when you are feeling bad, just force a smile and think that nothing can bring you and your baby down! you are who you are. someone that no one can ever replace. strong, unique and lucky because your have all you ever needed; friends and family. Those negative feelings are just craps or extra worries that you are putting yourself in.
What a BLESS TO BE YOU !
always remember when you are feeling bad, just force a smile and think that nothing can bring you and your baby down! you are who you are. someone that no one can ever replace. strong, unique and lucky because your have all you ever needed; friends and family. Those negative feelings are just craps or extra worries that you are putting yourself in.
What a BLESS TO BE YOU !
juzsharing
Member
As a mother, we have to stay positive. Have faith n confidence in yourself that you are the best mum n will give your children all the best that you can. BEST doesn't mean in materialistic, it means growing up together with them. Loving and pampering them will only spoilt them. If you have a religion, all the best that you can spend time in building up your mental wellness. Whatever you feel and think are all 胎教 as in our traditional chinese method. Can share more if you are interested. Take care.
PinkyPig88
Member
Totally agree with what you write...
There are so many things to cope after baby delivered and together with the changed body shape... it is not easy to stay positive but i am sure baby will bring u more and more joy, day by day...
kgal
Active Member
Hello dear! Stay positive! As the saying goes, keep calm and carry on!
Try and pinpoint the reasons that is resulting in you feeling depressed... is it because you're coped up at home? Or is it because you feel frequently tired? Can you talk to your hubby about it? When you can narrow down the reasons you might be able to find the solution to solve it!
I hope this helps! Jiayou!
>> http://www.babycenter.com/0_depression-during-pregnancy_9179.bc
Perhaps you are stressing yourself too much and unnecessary and you have to take it easy. Go for a short break and get someone to help you to look after the kids. You got to love yourself more. Dress up, buy some new clothes, put on make up, eat healthy and stay slim and trim so that you will have self confidence.. I totally agree with PinkyPig88 our body changed!!! You have to take care of that, all men are visual animals, don't let them to have a chance to complain or comment. We had given too much to our family. You need to love yourself more and you will be happier.
We had given too much to our family. You need to love yourself more and you will be happier.chocolateteddy
Member
Hi xicloudix!
I'm hving it quite bad right now!!!
I oso dun want the baby and am scared all the time!
I m lost how to get out of it...
I feel I need help!
I'm expecting #2 and abt 15 weeks preg now.
I stay home all day in my room too
I hv nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to meet....
I am also too lethargic to get out on my own, scared tt the depression will overwhelm me when I'm out alone.
I'm oso permanently staying with my pils w no plans to move out.
Relationship w mil is strained from years bk.
I'm not working n #1 is at childcare. I want to work but mb now not possible. Before preg, I tried to search for a job but not successful so it made me lose my confidence.
My main fear is not having help when the baby arrives. Hb says no to hv a maid. I oso had a bad experience ard pils n hb when #1 arrived, no help, bb cry all the time, quarrel with pils n hb, tired... I developed post natal depression.
I'm hving it quite bad right now!!!
I oso dun want the baby and am scared all the time!
I m lost how to get out of it...
I feel I need help!
I'm expecting #2 and abt 15 weeks preg now.
I stay home all day in my room too
I hv nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to meet....
I am also too lethargic to get out on my own, scared tt the depression will overwhelm me when I'm out alone.
I'm oso permanently staying with my pils w no plans to move out.
Relationship w mil is strained from years bk.
I'm not working n #1 is at childcare. I want to work but mb now not possible. Before preg, I tried to search for a job but not successful so it made me lose my confidence.
My main fear is not having help when the baby arrives. Hb says no to hv a maid. I oso had a bad experience ard pils n hb when #1 arrived, no help, bb cry all the time, quarrel with pils n hb, tired... I developed post natal depression.
Last edited:
hey chocolateteddy,
Get help and support from your hubby and frens... Ask them to help you look after the baby for awhile. Imagine how our parents had raise us up is not easy and scary too. But now we have more knowledge and means compare to our parent days.... Still focus and positive... *hug*
Get help and support from your hubby and frens... Ask them to help you look after the baby for awhile. Imagine how our parents had raise us up is not easy and scary too. But now we have more knowledge and means compare to our parent days.... Still focus and positive... *hug*
chocolateteddy
Member
I want assurances from hb but I dun think it's possible to get from him as we've had very heated quarrels over the maid issue.
well... I always have that issues too. No point argue of maid, it will affect the relationship. right now I am the one who does all the communication with the maid and pass instructions. So either you or your hubby have to be the primary person to give final instructions so that there will be minimal communication errors. When things get better, both parties already used to the style of staying under one roof.. hope my advice helps...
chocolateteddy
Member
No, the problem is having no maid. Hb doesn't wanna employ a maid. He is not always around so I'm afraid with the arrival of #2, I'd be overwhelmed looking after a toddler n a baby.
xicloudix
Well-Known Member
Hi i m now almost 27 weeks pregnant.
When i had my #2
It was hard initally as i had severe ms n its hyperemesis gravidarum
N morning sickness actually last till i m 20 weeks or so.
I developed depression too. N i wanted to seek help from doc. But non understand i am going through depression all keep say its normal etc. N i was warded for drip twice too
Also cant imagine working plus looking after toddler n baby.
But i hang on. Coz i know i definitely wan more than 1 kid ....
Hubby was supportive n my family too.
So i basically do nothing at home due to severe morning sickness n keep crying etc. That time my #1 wasnt in childcare yet.
Thinga became better after my morning sickness subside n regain my energy.
Till now i nv regret giving birth to my #2.
Now #3 was a big accident. I was having pills.. but still kenna. N yet gynae didnt realised the "lump" he saw was actually a baby. N he gave me medcine to induce menses !!
So when i felt strange why my menses didnt come despite finishing the indue menses medicine for 2 week .. n i seek another opinion n realised i was pregnant!
I was shock. Worried abt baby. N worried baby is deform due to wrong medication taken. N worry abt finances. . Who to look after etc etc.. endless of worry.
N depression came to find me again.
My hubby suggest to employ a maid again which i reject. Having a maid isnt exactly a good help. During my #2 i employed twice n sent both back. Sometimes its more stress having to look after the maid n open eyes big big afraid she neglect or mistreat our kids. N the excuses n request she gaves etc
I dun wan my baby. I keep cry n cry n wan to abort. Coz i dun wan to face mid term termination if my baby is deform. Gynae says the wrong medication i took will affect baby gal only. So i cant confirm mine is a boy. Is like taking a big risk
This time i straight book an appt with the psychiatrist n was on medication for a few weeks
Until my 20 week detail scan.. then that was when i relax.. my baby was alright although there was minor scares here n there.
Throughout this pregnancy i felt extra tired n lost 6kg n not yet gain back . N kenna anemia. . Now even though on iron pills my energy nv come bacm
But hubby n my family was supportive help me to.shower the kids etc.
U r already 15 weeks.
Hang on. Soon u will regain ur energy. Dun think too much.
My hubby always say.. some ppl.have 5 or 6 kids also like this. We only have 3 kids... sure can survive ...
N u only have 1 now. Ur kid will feel lonely if he/she is the only child..
Since he is in childcare then.it kind of ease ur burden abit too.
Last time my boy #1 wasnt in childcare. N i manage to survive. So u sure can .
Since maid is not an option now.
Dun argue with ur hubby abt maid anymore. U r not working. So maybe he feels its a stress paying for a maid plus childcare etc. No point spoil ur relationship over maid. Even if u manged to get 1 . Can u assure the maid dun give u all sort of problems? Its hard...
Talk to ur hubby abt helping out. Talk to him nicely when he is in a good mood..
chocolateteddy
Member
Hi xicloudix.
Nice to hear from u...
My story different from u but depressed all the same. Mb we can chat to share the details of our depression...
My main concern is how to survive wout a maid w a toddler and a baby, and considered not much help from family. I'm scared bb will be like #1, difficult, colicky, attention needy baby.
Nice to hear from u...
My story different from u but depressed all the same. Mb we can chat to share the details of our depression...
My main concern is how to survive wout a maid w a toddler and a baby, and considered not much help from family. I'm scared bb will be like #1, difficult, colicky, attention needy baby.
Last edited:
happymummytin
Well-Known Member
wah lau...the stupid doctor so blur...he wld nt make such a big mistake if he did more test rite.make u so worried.
anyway,we are heading towards 3rd trimester le.look forward to see our precious soon
xicloudix
Well-Known Member
Not all baby are difficult.
My #1 was very easy to look after.
But #2 was very difficult n keep crying. I wonder if my frequent mood swings n bad mood during pregnancy caused my #2 to be like this ?
Coz when i had #1 i was happy everyday... no burden no worries at that time
U r not working. So morning u send #1 go cc. N come home shower for #2, feed n prepare lunch or dinner n do hse work etc...
Can close 1 eye on hse work sometimea no need be very clean.
Find some music or video for baby entertainment when u r bz.
Then when #2 is ready for cc. Then u can look for part time.or.full time. Women who is working n contribute to household can speak louder
thata what i think
xicloudix
Well-Known Member
Ya lor he should had done a blood test or soemthing. I didnt know thay blood test can test for pregnancy. Else i will demand a blood test instead of his $40 urine test kit that fails... lolwah lau...the stupid doctor so blur...he wld nt make such a big mistake if he did more test rite.make u so worried.
anyway,we are heading towards 3rd trimester le.look forward to see our precious soon
Yes 3rd trimester soon... our black eyes days are coming ... lol
Sotong Mummy
Member
Just my few cents worth. How about getting a part-time cleaner? I used one last time and pretty good in helping with household chores.
Hi.. I have exactly the same condition! hyperemesis gravidarum!!! I had it for all my preggy.. My kids are also 4 yrs old, 2.5 yrs and I just gave birth to the 3rd one in May 2014. It was so terrible... I had to be on bed for 1st 4 months for all my preggy!! I lost 7-10 kg in 1st 4 months for all preggy... And I was nauseous for the whole 10 months for all preggy... And before I was preggy, I have depression and treated by a physcharist...
The 1st one, I vomit 15-20 times per day.. Whatever I eat, I vomit.. Can't even drink plain water... I nearly hospitalized... Gynae gave medicine and I stabilise.. I have to take the medicine for 4 months to stop vomit..also I m taking medicine for depression..I can only have spaghetti and Campbell soup for the 1st 4 months.. Anything else, I will vomit... Every day I cried and prayed.. Count every second of my life... Wanted to abort but gynae asked me to hold on.. I kept hoping everything will turn better.. Hours feel like years.. I was alone and stopped working.. My family do not understand such condition.. And my sister and mother who were pregnant before did not have this.. They don't understand why my preggy so difficult and not supportive.. They think I was exaggerating.. Thank God my hubby is nice and supportive...
2nd one even worse..everyone said different preggy different condition.. And I don't want only 1 child.. So I went ahead.. Same thing but worse.. Also everything I eat, I vomit.. Can only have plain porridge with salt and sugar water and oats...again, cried everyday and counted seconds of my life.. I took the same medicine as the 1st but did not work.. In the end, tried another medicine which costed $40 per pill and I have to take 2 each day and for 4 months..the side effect was constipation and so I have to take laxative to compliment the medicine which help to stop vomiting.. Also, any smell will trigger vomiting.. I mean any smell.. Even toothpaste, shower foam etc.. I could not brush my teeth.. Showered only 1 per week.. My hubby showered and I immediately chased him out of the room till the shower smell gone.. It was so bad that sometime I was so in pain, I scratched myself till bleed.. I trembled violently and hubby nearly sent me to hospital but I refused cos I want to see my eldest kid.. I also wanted to abort... But in the end, did not... My mother can only come and help 1 month to take care of my eldest - abt 1.5 yrs old that time.. My hubby got his boss permission to work from home for 1 month.. He take care of me and my mother take care of my eldest.. After 1 month, my PIL came to help for 2 months till I stabilise... After that, I m alone to take care of kid and gave birth and look after 2 myself...
3rd one was a accident... I was so scared and wanted to abort.. Cried and cried when I knew I was preggy.. But hubby convinced me to carry on.. My PIL came to help 2 months... This time milder and I endured with out taking medicine... I got through looking after 2 kids and preggy.. My mum can't come to help cos my dad contracted cancer and need her.. My eldest went 2 hours school while the 2nd one stayed home w me.. Come to think back.. I don't know how I survive..
Now, I have 3 kids and still looking after them myself.. Mum will come when she is free..
I am still being treated for depression..so that y I would suggest if you think you are suffering from depression, seek help immediately.. You will be glad that someone is there to help you.. And medicine helps...Also, always share your thoughts with your hubby... He is the best support... I did not have maid.. Cos I don't trust anyone to take care of my kids except myself.. Also...I don't like stranger to stay at my house.. But I employed a part time cleaner to come clean my house once every week...it's really helpful..
You will be surprised that when you put your mind into it..no matter how hard, think about your bb, you will get thru.. What does not kill you makes you stronger.,
Btw, starting the 2nd preggy, I watched some series to clear my mind.. I can't go out.. So that help.. Perhaps you can start watching some series to get by..
chocolateteddy
Member
Hi Lostinsg,
I've just seen a psychiatrist last week but was already feeling abit better b4 I saw him. I think the depression got bit better when the morning sickness lifted. I think being admitted for HG helped abit...
But, as I told the psyc, I still feel the fear n anxiety abt when #2 arrives, it comes and goes n sometimes it feel overwhelming. To the point tt I wanna abort many times.
Hats off to u being able to n wanting to care for ur kids. I'm truly traumatised by #1's time. She was a difficult bb, had a bad time w pils, was trying to get breastmilk supply up, was tired, felt like there was no one ard to help me... I got depression...
I'm just afraid same thing happening again. So I only imagine to hv a maid care for bb and I go find job n stay out of the Hse but hb says dun want maid. I find it hard to be looking after my kids while being "watched" by my pils n having to see their black face n ill comments n yet unwilling to help.
I've just seen a psychiatrist last week but was already feeling abit better b4 I saw him. I think the depression got bit better when the morning sickness lifted. I think being admitted for HG helped abit...
But, as I told the psyc, I still feel the fear n anxiety abt when #2 arrives, it comes and goes n sometimes it feel overwhelming. To the point tt I wanna abort many times.
Hats off to u being able to n wanting to care for ur kids. I'm truly traumatised by #1's time. She was a difficult bb, had a bad time w pils, was trying to get breastmilk supply up, was tired, felt like there was no one ard to help me... I got depression...
I'm just afraid same thing happening again. So I only imagine to hv a maid care for bb and I go find job n stay out of the Hse but hb says dun want maid. I find it hard to be looking after my kids while being "watched" by my pils n having to see their black face n ill comments n yet unwilling to help.
Great that u went to a psychiatrist..
also good that u felt better now.. If can, cont to see him and he will monitor your progress.. From my experience, depression has high and low wave.. When it's low, I felt better and thought no need to see psychiatrist.. But sometime, it went high, and I felt so down and negative thoughts went into mine and I thought I could not continue...so, I cont to see the doc and let her cont to monitor me via advices and medicine.. That stabilise me.. And I don't know about you, I always kept reliving the same thing and thus makes it difficult for me to move on.. But doctor will always there to hear me and kept repeating the advice to me.. Hubby also there to support me.. so hang on..I totally know how you feel when you want to abort the bb.. I had that feeling too when I had the 3 bb... I told the psy, my gynae, hubby again and again I want to abort cos I can't cont.. Too hard... but they all told me to hold on...esp my hubby.. That's y I would like you to talk to your hubby more.. Let him see your pt of views and give you support... You can do it too... You are the mother... Just think about the little bb, that will stick close to you cos she/he loves you.. That love kept me going..
I have all the same feeling as you (tired, breastfeeding, no one to help) except the PIL.. That I can't comment cos I don't have them living w me.. I read your story prevly and I feel for you.. U can't move out?? Maybe things might not be as bad as u think.. Mayb this bb easier to take care.. You don't know that now.. Not all bb are the same.. U sent your 1st kid to ifc before right?? Mayb you can too this time if maid is not a option.. (I don't trust maid cos I heard too many bad stories.. I already took such hardship to have my bb, I dont want to let anything bad happens to them).. Then, ur 1st go to childcare and you can go work.. Try to think positive..
You are already half of the race, cont to persist.. For me, there was a time I wanted to abort.. Esp the 3rd one.. I even asked all the possible treatment for abortion from my gynae.. She is nice to explain to me but she hope I will not do it.. From my belief perception, abortion is a no go... That is already somewhat decided.. Then, I think to myself.. This is a life.. A life that both me and my hubby made it.. God gave me this blessing.. As much as it's not planned, as much it could be difficult, the bb is here for a reason.. What reason, I don't know but I know now that after she is born, I was glad I did not went thru the abortion.. I love her so much that I can't bear not to have her.. Also, my psy told me something interesting.. She know me for 5 years.. She said if I really abort it, I will regret for the rest of my life.. This pain that I m living now is only temporary.. It will go away ultimately - in months.. But the guilt and the "what if" thought I could have if I really abort the bb, that will haunt me for life... Do I really want that to haunt me for life??? Not knowing that the bb could have brought me joy?? I decided to endure the pain now.. And I glad and thank God for her.. She is always smiley.. And she warm my heart when I see her..
So, pls, think about it.. I can do it and so can you.. We are both mother and that instinct in us will survive all odds...