Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?

Hi Fairyprincess,

Thanks. I'm not fussy with street food so instant paste is fine with me. No patience to pound and chop up ingredients - plus I hate laksa leaves and anything of the sort (including basil and herbs). I'm always happy to try out these instant mixes so long as they are without msg.

Hi Tam,

Well, it's never easy picking up a 2nd language (and a totally different and non-related language) after 6. I picked up a few dialects before 4, thanks to our grandparents and multi-racial community. When I was at Isetan Parkway Parade, I asked a China-Chinese saleslady if they sold the "shoe brand Crocs", she stared at me blankly and said, "Thi-se shoe department. Co-se-metic no-te here."

I am fine with hiring of foreign workers from any country but seriously, there IS some disparity between their declared proficiency of English and what they actually can speak/understand most of the time. If they're doing frontline service jobs (bus-drivers, sales, receptionist etc), they MUST be able to effectively comprehend, read, interpret, process thoughts and speak well in English.

I felt very proud of our very young students (Sec 3s I met) during the YOG games. They were able to handle both locals and foreign language speakers well.
 


mumusings,
I totally agree with you that if foreign workers want to work in Singapore, their English must be proficient.

On the other hand, I am quite disappointed that many of our Singaporean students, who have been studying Chinese since P1, are still not confident speaking Mandarin in China. Singaporeans are supposed to be proud of our bilingual policy, but the fact is that the majority are only good in one language only.
 
tam,
I guess that is why the mainland chinese likes to send their kids here. Their Chinese is powerful as compared to our kids, and they can still pick up resonable English here. When they go back, they are definately much marketable then their counterparts who studied in China.

did you take the opportunity to find out about enroling the kids to study for 2 weeks or a month there? do you think its save? Maybe not where you are, but say in Shanghai or somewhere?

Me too, i also like to travel alone. I know of a friend who can't. I told her that its really very fun travel alone. But I can't do it so often now since the kids are holding me back. Nowadays, i only am able to travel alone when i extend my buz trips and not for too long too. no choice...
 
tam,
are you back next week? Actually I think our kids are slowly improving in their Chinese. cos they have got kiasu parents like me mah! heheheheee... I think arnold's chinese though not up to standard, is slowly slowly improving. HPPS is using standard Chinese, not higher Chinese for lower primary. I think he should be able to qualify for higher Chinese in P3 if he continues to put some hard work on it.
 
yawn,
i've just finished Oh! My Lady - again, Korean show. Very nice and the actors can act reasonably well. the lead actor is quite cute/dashing looking. go watch it, worth the time.
 
Rona- I feel exactly the same way as you- how to go traveling on your own when the kids and hubby are at home...not quite fair....so only can extend work trips- but not always possible to do that..

Lunch ON- PMed you...
 
Hi Mumusings,

Hai's Laksa looks nice
happy.gif
I tried their Chk Curry paste. Tho' fragrant and thick, but not spicy enough. I like the Primataste Chk Curry. Their Mee Rebus Paste & Bak Kut Teh also nice.

Talking about Laksa, I like the Claypot laksa (used to be in one of the Depot Road coffeeshop), now shifted to Alexandra Village hawker ctr/ Vivo City (I think). Thick gravy and spicy enough to make you sweat by the time you finish the laksa.

Hi Fairyprincess,

Read in the papers that 3 kindys in the Ten-Mile Junction area will be closed down by end of the year, your #2 affected by one of them?
 
Thanks to all for laksa paste recommendations. Prima's one makes me thirsty after eating (if that's the one same one used at the eating outlet at Centrepoint). I use an assortment of brands I find and don't stick to one. Too much MSG makes me go numb, throat swell and also nauseous.

Was at a dimsum place at Soho London once and within 30 minutes, I felt terribly sick (the usual Cantonese dim sum and small dishes) and had to down 2 cans of Coke to get over that msg-effect. Maybe it's because my grandparents, aunts and mom don't use msg, sugar and only a little oil and salt in their cooking all these years. When I eat out, I avoid Chinese and Jap restaurants - bound to feel sick after eating. Those banquets and wedding dinners too! I hardly eat when I am at restaurants - a little fried rice at most and just a little of everything else for courtesy sake (the watery sweet hoisin sauce with those steamed tilapia is sure-die for me!).
 
Mumusings,
Me too, am sensitive to MSG. But funny thing is, I only develop the intolerance in my 20s, and not all the time. It can get quite bad when it strikes. I will break into cold sweat, numbing feeling starting from the base of my spine, and feel like I cannot breathe. Quite scary.Yep, a can of coke will settle the awful feeling. Haha, I used to avoid the steamed tilapia until I realized that the culprit is in the sauce! So now I eat the fish n avoid the sauce. The other one that I avoid all the time is sambal sotong. For some strange reason, that dish is a sure-die for me. I think my problem is a combination of MSG with certain type of food. Does that make sense??

Rona,
How I wish I can invite myself to your lunch appointment with fairy n stylo. SAHM lagi not mobile leh. So envy of you all.

Any mummies following the news regarding more stringent PR assessment? I don't have a big issue with PRs in Singapore, but somehow, I welcome that move. When I first return to Singapore after being away for 3 years in 2009, I could feel the strong presence of non-locals in the community. Can't put a finger to it, but it feels kind of strange.

Shortly after my return, I went to a kopitiam for lunch. I ordered a 7-up. The drink stall lady ask me in return if I had wanted a "qi xi"? For a moment, I thought she was scolding me!! I didn't hear the entire sentence she said, except for a word that sounded like "qi xin" - think that's "crazy" in Cantonese.
 
hello mummies -

can i join this thread? have been reading this thread off and on...

i have 3 kids - my boy (4 yrs old) and twins (21 mths)
 
Aly nat- yes, I can understand your experience...sometimes in s'pore, when I know the service staff is from china, I have to use "china terms" like "kong tiao" for aircon; "shao zhi" for spoon, "fa piao" for receipt etc to speak to them, then I can get what I want...feels like I am in china!

Snowball- EXACTLY! My gal's kindy is one of the 3 near ten mile junction that is closing down!!! Sooo extremely irritating- I kinda of decided on her new school but still thinking- must not make the wrong choice cos its K2 liao...

Welcome TOTO- feel free to contribute anything on this thread!
 
Fairy,
But I no like leh. I support the government's call to speak proper English, but to switch to speaking "china terms" (even though those are the "proper" terms to use) just becos they cannot understand local terms is yet another story. What about my ah ma who contributed to the building of this nation, but can only speak hockien n Malay, or my elderly Indian neighbor who can only speak Tamil n English? I appreciate foreigners who wish to settle down here to integrate into our society.

Toto,
Welcome! Wow, twins! Nice! R u a SAHM / FTWM......?
 
Yep- as a S'porean..foreigners should adapt to us...maybe because I move about these countries in Asia- it becomes me who adapts to them?!? Ya lah...strange!

I have a funny story to share...my sis is now teaching English in Japan- recently, she went to an Indian restaurant in a small jap town...the chefs there were from India- so they can only speak their native language (e.g. Tamil etc) and Japanese...so my sis had to use Japanese to communicate with these Indian chefs because they could not speak English?!?!? In S'pore, we will naturally use English to speak to Indians, but not so in Japan...she said she felt sooo strange conversing in Japanese to the Indians!
 
toto
Welcome... you're like me with a boy and twins - are your twins B/B, G/G, or B/G??

fairy
My experience at restaurants has been to help other customers (angmoh) tell the Chinese waitress what they want! hahaha....

That's rather funny re the Indians speaking Japanese to your sister!

aly
Oh ... wish you can join us too!

rona/fairy
See you next week then...

snowball
Thanks for the tip on Phuket. I booked Jetstar, will be 5 full days due to their timing.
Don't know what we will do there, more for the kids lah...
 
Fairy,
Very good example of how the foreigners (your sis' n the Indian chefs) adapt themselves to the host country!!

On a separate note, I think it will be funny to see an Indian speaking in Japanese leh. Hehe, no offence intended.
 
rona,
I agree with you about mainland Chinese sending their kids here. In fact, I know that many Chinese dream of that, but the cost is very expensive for them.

The city where I am working now is very polluted, and the traffic is horrible, so it is really not a good place to bring kids. If I have the chance, I may look for schools that are in the countryside. I visited ZhangJiaJie last weekend, the countryside of China is very different from the cities, and is much more pleasant.

I will be back only in late October.

I think you have really put in a lot of effort teaching your kids Chinese, they will definitely do well
happy.gif
 
Hi mommies,
I need a favour from you please.

I am trying to encourage Chloe to be an entrepreneur. I taught her to create a blogshop.
http://chloeshop.blogspot.com/

Please help by emailing her at [email protected], choose the item that you want, and she will mail to your home address
happy.gif
All items are given away free, since she made those herself, don't mention about money in your email.
 
Tam,
You are amazing (to even start her on this at her age). And you have an equally amazing daughter! I like the dogs and will email her for "my order"
happy.gif
 
Hi Aly,

Me too. The intolerance became very apparent only in my 20s as well. I understand the numbness (locked-up feel) and near-choking. Certain combinations seem to trigger it off for me too. I remember my my last full-Cantonese meal overseas, I felt very puky and tight after eating steamed fish, veg with oyster sauce and some other dishes. After that incident, I didn’t eat at Chinese/Cantonese restaurants for a few years ‘cos I can ‘smell’/imagine the MSG taste even before I eat it (the one that goes with chee cheong fun and steamed tilapia).

Sometimes, abalone (in can) makes me sick too. I think it’s the preservatives in the water. Some people use that water to cook ‘cos they think it contains the sweetness of the creature?? I only know I will not pay to eat Buddhe Jump Over The Wall. My aunt made it one year and I could barely even take 2 spoonfuls. Was sick for 3 days after that – too heaty, MSG overdose, seafood overdose. That is the combination that is lethal for me.

Hi Toto,

Interesting nickname... welcome!

Hi Tam,

Great idea with the giveaway-blog. Good way to encourage spirit of generosity too! Will try that out when my son is older and if he still has an overstock of vehicles.
 
Hello mummies,

Long time no post cos i was down wif fever.Still in the recovering stage.
Now, busy preparing my girl upcoming sa2 exams.

Granny vs grandchildren
Do your mum beat your children when they are naughty or just give warning?My mum hardly sees my boy, and in one birthday party, he was naughty, my mum actually beat her infront of all the guests.....

Holidays
I have finally booked a ten days holiday in dec.To hokkaido, and stopped over in suchou and shanghai for shopping.

cheers
 
Hi all

May I ask where do u usually buy your travel insurance from?

I missed the tenet promotion package during the natas fair.

Thanks

Rgds
Joy
 
Joy,
I get mine from AIG. it's also easy to claim.

I met with an accident about ten days ago. A taxi knocked the rear of my mpv. It seems like a minor accident, few scratches dents on my bumper, but the taxi's bonnet was dented. We were on ECP so there were a lot of cars zooming past and to cut the story short, we just take some photos take the license plates and agree to report to the insurance. I will claim his as he was in the wrong.

However, when I got home, I realized that I'm not able to close the boot properly and the bumper was dented. I went to report the accident the next day and also for an assessment of the damages and repair of tHe car and found out that there are more damages then I realized.
 
Hi Rona

Hope everything is ok with you now.
My car insurance also wif AIG, agreed, easy to claim.
Not sure about their travel insurance tho.Apparently, only ntuc and OAC have got the plan for big family with four adults.

Have a great day all...am going to attend a tea wedding ceremony cum dinner today...enough to keep me busy...worst, still at the tail end of recovery.
 
Hi Joy and all,

For me, grandparents are entitled to discipline my son. Very often, kids are spoilt by their grandparents, especially boys. My mom is also trying to get my dad to stand firm and say "no" when he's unreasonable. He's already learnt what VERBs and OPPOSITEs are about. Last week, my sis said to my dad: "Don't give in!" (when my son wanted to snatch the video-camera and batteries), the boy actually screamed, "Give in! Give in!"

My dad thinks he's intelligent and cute (yes, I do know he is) and can't bear to even scold my son. The rascal has progressed to taking things without asking at my mom's place and throwing tantrums like nobody's business 'cos he knows he can likely get away with it. Like I wrote in my blog, he dismantles things so he goes for remote controls, standing fans and gadgets when he's at my mom's place.

I won't feel ego-bruise for my child if he's disciplined in front of other friends and relatives because he has to know that there are rules he has to comply. Kids know when there is a potential for breach of standards. In fact, I am begging these folks to be more consistently strict with my son and don't give him things just to placate him.

A little venting...

In the morning my son casually held his bottle of milk upside down to watch it trickle onto the sofa. Then after,(I am alone at home) he deliberately poured a bag of snacks just after I mopped the kitchen. His usual way to worm out of a crisis is to cry for milk etc. I sternly told him that he will get nothing to drink unless he picks up the litter. He persisted in crying, half-whining but gave up 15 minutes later. Jovially with a smile, he went to pick up all the chips off the floor, took a tissue to wipe off stains and then alerted me to a few ants nearby.

I'm learning everyday to control my fire and to also remind myself that he's only 2 years old. However, I am very clear that if I shield him from strangers, scoldings and give him the carte blanche to do what he likes, he will likely grow up to be the most rascally character in school. I've already decided that I will never allow him to gossip about teachers and relatives. I hate tattle-tales, especially if the people griping at are themselves at fault.
 
mumusings
Yes, I agreed that most grandparents are the doting one.Mine is the extreme opposite.I agreed if really naughty need to beat, but this grandma hardly see four times in a year and just hit him during a party, without even advise...so i guess its different set and type of grandparents altogether.My mum is a doting grandma to my bro kids but not to mine, cos am her daughter, bo cu que de sui...
 
aly_nat,
Thank you so much for your support ! Actually I first started her once when she was 4 years old hehehe She never forgot that lesson, but I did not have time to do it again with her until this year. Thanks again
happy.gif
It is so nice of you
happy.gif


mumusings,
She is actually not giving away her old stuff, she is creating new items and "selling" them. She made a bead flower and "sold" it before, then when I asked her to put the words "Sold out" next to the bead flower in her blog, she told me that she can always make another one if someone orders it !
 
rona,
Sorry to hear about your accident. I think it is quite stressful to drive :p I used to drive my hubby's car, but now I have stopped driving.

joy,
My mother has a cane, she uses it mostly to threaten my boy. I think she hit him a few times when I was not at home, but very lightly only because I did not see any marks. When I was young, she used to hit me so hard I had red marks all over my body. But she never hits in front of outsiders. I do not believe in caning my kids, but since my mother use the cane for scaring my boy only, I just ignore it.
 
Hi Tam,

Yup, I did visit Chloe's blogshop. That's why I said it's a great idea. I might use this to encourage my son to donate his old toys away next time. No money involved, just posting items to people who may want the items.
 
Tam
Its a great idea teaching Chloe to trade at a young age, with no money involved.

Yes, cane is just to scare the children.If can talk sense, why resort to force.That is my one cent of thought.I used to cane my girl when she was young and she is quite rebellious and tough as she grows up.

At least your mum who is taking care of your boy, and just used to scare him, I think its fine.But, for someone, that is not looking after the child, not knowing the child, and hit the child infront of stranger, I think this is very hurting and humilating to a kid.

Rona

I hope everything is fine with u.

Good day all..
 
Hi Rona/ Joy,

Hope everything is fine with you. Agreed that AIG is easy to claim. But, their premiums are high too. We switched to Income after 3yrs and save a few hundred dollars of premium in comparison. Now, I am back to AIG (now called Chartis) as we changed car recently and they give some discounts for 1st yr premium.

Hi Joy,

Oh dear, both my kids were down with viral fever 2 weeks ago. This attack was a bad one as both took almost 1 weeks to recover. Hope you are feeling better now.

I use the cane on my kids. I caned them real hard when they are very naughty. However, I do not cane/ beat my kids in front of strangers/ many people. But, I will warn them that they will get their punishments when they get home. I really did, on a few ocassions, and they learnt their lessons since that they have to behave. Yes, I agree that it is humilating and hurting to a child to be punished infront of strangers.

Nowadays, I seldom cane them already as they grow older & they knew the "painful" consequences of being very naughty. I also keep 2 canes (my kids chose the cane's colour themselves), to scare them.

Hi Tamarind,

Chloe can do very good handicrafts
happy.gif
 
Hi mummies,

can recommend books on "DONT... bite, pull hair, pinch eh? me really headache w my boy leh.... have use the hard (hit his hand, naughty corner)n soft (eye to eye, face to face talk) ways on him, but cant work... or advise what shall me do to him har?
 
aa

Yes, going hokkaido.Not doing free and easy, but a tour package cos dont want to stuck in winter when holidays in hokkaido is hard to stuck in one place.

Snowball32
Yes, I do the same thing like u.I will warn him,and should he be naughty, I will lock him outside the house.He actually not scared of cane but more so on punishement.I tried cane him long time ago, he will ask me which hand i want to cane and say not painl.So, obviously, he is not learning and his threshold for pain is high.So, I find other ways to punish him.Like, take away his favourite toys etc.
 
Joy,
which period are you going? now worried on the clothings and shoes for my boy and mom.
my colleague was telling me that need to bring wool/cashmere sweather and long johns coz its between -2 to 0 when she was there last year.
thou its not first time going to winter places but not wanting to take chances (esp with the old and young one) since we'll be there for a week. looks like this Hokkaido trip really costly :)
 
aa
Just reaslised that am leaving on 15 dec and back on xmas eve.What about u?

Which travel agent u book from?

We all have boots but think trackshoe should be ok.
 
joy,
Am leaving on 17 dec and back on xmas eve as well.
Going with Chan Brothers.

Track shoes is for my mom as she refused to buy boots :-(
I m afraid track shoe will get wet and the feet will be cold.
 
aa,
think you need to buy woolen socks for her then. track shoe will not get wet unless walk on snow or ice.
 
joy and all,
am fine, no one was hurt in the accident. but the thing is, its really very troublesome to be involved in an accident. You need to report the accident, assess the damages and I choose to send mine to a familiar workshop so got to go back to the workshop to have the damages assessed again. Then the surveyor from the insurance company will have to assess the damages and the charges before work can be done. in the mean time, i got a rental car to move around and this adds into the total cost of the claim amount to the taxi's insurance company. I also felt bad, but no choice. The minor accident cost so much in the end! need to change the bumper, the reverse sensor (damaged), the reinforcement bar, the boot etc etc...

The person benefiting? The car workshops lah!
 
Hi Fairy,

Heard that most Kindys ard that area are full now.

Did you consider PCF for your K2? I think they provide quite close cirriculum to prepare the kids for P1.

Hi Mumusings,

My MIL will also give in and give my kids whatever they want whenever they make noise. I do not scold my MIL but, I will still discipline my kids when I get to know about it. My MIL will shield them and tell me that its not their fault.

I also learnt not to give in to crying and whinning/ yelling. I sternly tell my kids that they will not get what they want if they do not stop those actions and tell me exactly what they want. It can be hard initially but, I did this persistently for a few weeks and it is still working find for us.

Maybe you can try what I am doing now, when my gals are behaving well, I give them 1 star sticker to stick on a chart. When they are naughty, I will take away 2 stars, this is made known to them when I put up the chart. So far, after I implemented this, I find that I use the cane less.

Hi Leereiner,

Is your son having problems trying to express what he wanted that he resort to pinching/ bite/ pulling hair? My BIL's son is also like that, he has speech problems and he always like to bite/ pinch to get attention.

He is getting slightly better now that he can talk. But, for my BIL's son, he is still carrying this behaviour with him. That is why I do agree that you have to help your son kick this habit now as it will become a "normal behaviour" to him as he grows older.
 
Hi rona,
thanks for suggesting.
my mom already got woolen socks, just worried that track shoe will get wet if walking on snow or ice, so asked het to get boots, which she refused. anyway, shall talk to her again ... still got time.

thanks
 
Hi,

Here's a picture of what the boy did today when he threw a tantrum after I punished him for pouring water all over and throwing things about.

4515419.jpg

He pushed one of the standing fans to the ground and the blade and tubing shattered into bits.

He can be so sweet and good but when he's in that frenzy/trantrum, he'll swipe everything off the tables and try to knock things over. I have no idea where this was cultivated because I do not throw things about. Reasoning doesn't work when he knows he's made a mistake - he's the opposite of most kids. He gets on the fiercest defence and raises the stinkiest stink. I can handle him at the moment (reason > cooling off period) but I feel so sorry for my neighbours. He seems to have a QUOTA of mischief to fulfill or some sort of checklist everyday.

(1) Pour water/spill milk (he stopped for a few months after slipping on the floor but now he's started again)
(2) Throwing things all over the living room (but will pick up before we go out and help switch off all appliances)
(3) Screaming non-stop a string of requests (when he actually doesn't need anything at all)
(4) Mischief in the kitchen and laundry area.

At least twice of any/all of the above a day. So in total, he spends a total of perhaps 1-2 hours contributing to the cacophany in the house.

Well, my husband says our son will growing up hating us if we use the cane. I'd rather be the villain than lose a fridge every three months, a fan every other week, a pen every 2 days and his sense of decency every few hours.
 
aa,
What about those leather covered shoes? Can try Clarks or Timberland, and pair with socks to keep warm. Just make sure the shoe sole is suitable for slippery surfaces.
 
On Driving:

I made a calculation when I was in uni when I was 20. If I spend $25 on cabbing 300 days in a year until I am 65, the total bill will be $337500. I think this amount is probably worth only 3 average Toyota cars (including COE/insurance/coupons etc), provided there's not much servicing needed?

That's definitely less than buying a car every 10 years, paying for petrol/parking/insurance, being on edge about damages and plus the fees spent on taking lessons, flunking driving exams at least twice and what not.

For my family, we spend only $250 maximum on transport (Ezylink top-ups and cabs). We're out either together or separately. It's so cheap and worry-free. On rainy days or when there's potential wet floors, I call for one.

I had a friend ($2500 monthly pay) who die-die had to have a Lexus the minute she graduated (they cost S$180000 at one time in the 1990s, right?) - instalments are 70% of her take-home pay! Another bought a Hyundai Tuscan on a $120000 and spends $1500 on instalments/petrol. Both were single at that point of time. How do these people afford starting a family eventually and own HDB flat?

Anyway, I only know that if I'm a driver, I will endanger many lives including my own. Better to let the drivers drive!
 


<font color="ff6000">out of subject bah</font>
Hi Snowball,

thanks yo... he does that when:-

- sis / niece snatch from him
- sis / niece want stuff from him
- he wants things from them
- they dont want to play w him (girls things)

n recently he does it to MIL... n MIL just complained to us... no scold him or whatever...

he's 18M old leh... he knows to say :I want, give me, 不要, No, (in eng n hokkien)....

really headache... dont want him to be like my niece yo...
 
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