ANY MALAY MUMS HERE?
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eliza_hairi
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MINAH TEST
I took the other time... Result = 0%!!
Tak minah ke aku??
I took the other time... Result = 0%!!
Tak minah ke aku??
<font color="ff6000">I duno if any of ur in laws gave you such problems but I wana share some here...
Ystdy, hub came back and we had a night chat while otw to Giant Tamp. He mentioned that MIL is asking him to buy 10kg of rice cos they hv no more rice left. And he felt sorry as a son cos he keep thinking what they are eating for the past 2 days. Every month, MIL sms IF we'll be going JB cos she wants us to buy her a 5kg cooking oil, brand Vesawit. Last Sun, since we were in JB with Tamp family, hub remembered what his mom mentioned via sms so he searched high and low for that brand. I pun buat bodoh cos I tak nk masuk campur. In e end, he didnt buy. Even Seri Murni brnd pon tkde but my dad is kind enuf to give us a bottle even I didnt ask for 1.
Im not being petty but I forsee on such areas.
I know they are having a hard time BUT fil's not aware of this matter which MIL has been asking us this and that. First, the monthly cooking oil..then the RM50 facial thingy that can ONLY be bought at Larkin cos to her, it's the "cheapest" compared shopping malls and now, rice of 10kg.
Wajib ke sebagai seorang anak utk belikan keperluan dapur mak dia?
Bukan tiada suami..
Kalau I flashed back what I went tru for 6 months, I akan rasa bingit sebab NO ONE help me/us except my prnts who tc of Harith for FOC for that 6 particular months due to my work @CGH and OT. I only see Harith every Sat/Sun and if I cant, my prnts will trvl all e way from Tamp with Harith and siblings by MRT just to let us see our son + kasi some lauk pauk.
Hub kata, kita harus bersyukur seadanya dan tak patut calculative dengan harta benda. It sadden me. Once in btw of that 6 months..hub went to wdlnds and share his woes abt he's out of job and cant afford this and that. Instead of saying something which can be much of help, she only said "kesian anak mak.." and mind you, she didnt even pay a visit to my son too. I dun ask for $$ or food but isit hard for her to pay my son a visit BUT when comes to shortage of $$$, she can call/sms that she MISSES our sons...
I'm in dilemma...really!
Anak bukan satu...even hub is the most reliable one BUT she cant simply take advantage of all.
Im so sad for all that I'm going through now..</font>
Ystdy, hub came back and we had a night chat while otw to Giant Tamp. He mentioned that MIL is asking him to buy 10kg of rice cos they hv no more rice left. And he felt sorry as a son cos he keep thinking what they are eating for the past 2 days. Every month, MIL sms IF we'll be going JB cos she wants us to buy her a 5kg cooking oil, brand Vesawit. Last Sun, since we were in JB with Tamp family, hub remembered what his mom mentioned via sms so he searched high and low for that brand. I pun buat bodoh cos I tak nk masuk campur. In e end, he didnt buy. Even Seri Murni brnd pon tkde but my dad is kind enuf to give us a bottle even I didnt ask for 1.
Im not being petty but I forsee on such areas.
I know they are having a hard time BUT fil's not aware of this matter which MIL has been asking us this and that. First, the monthly cooking oil..then the RM50 facial thingy that can ONLY be bought at Larkin cos to her, it's the "cheapest" compared shopping malls and now, rice of 10kg.
Wajib ke sebagai seorang anak utk belikan keperluan dapur mak dia?
Bukan tiada suami..
Kalau I flashed back what I went tru for 6 months, I akan rasa bingit sebab NO ONE help me/us except my prnts who tc of Harith for FOC for that 6 particular months due to my work @CGH and OT. I only see Harith every Sat/Sun and if I cant, my prnts will trvl all e way from Tamp with Harith and siblings by MRT just to let us see our son + kasi some lauk pauk.
Hub kata, kita harus bersyukur seadanya dan tak patut calculative dengan harta benda. It sadden me. Once in btw of that 6 months..hub went to wdlnds and share his woes abt he's out of job and cant afford this and that. Instead of saying something which can be much of help, she only said "kesian anak mak.." and mind you, she didnt even pay a visit to my son too. I dun ask for $$ or food but isit hard for her to pay my son a visit BUT when comes to shortage of $$$, she can call/sms that she MISSES our sons...
I'm in dilemma...really!
Anak bukan satu...even hub is the most reliable one BUT she cant simply take advantage of all.
Im so sad for all that I'm going through now..</font>
san,
its really hard on u... sees u nye prob w ILs tak settle2. for me, i will have a good talkw hub.men nie kekadang lupa priority dorang.. esp so yg baru2 kawin... (esp so if 5yrs or less)u they tend to neglect own family. sumer dia dulukan mak bapak dia. in my case, its easy, every month hb will gime my nafkah plus all our monthly expenses.. yg lain2 tu, sumer duit dia. whether he nak kasi family dia duit or not tats his prob and i never asked. i tau duit i and blanje rmh da settle.
its really hard on u... sees u nye prob w ILs tak settle2. for me, i will have a good talkw hub.men nie kekadang lupa priority dorang.. esp so yg baru2 kawin... (esp so if 5yrs or less)u they tend to neglect own family. sumer dia dulukan mak bapak dia. in my case, its easy, every month hb will gime my nafkah plus all our monthly expenses.. yg lain2 tu, sumer duit dia. whether he nak kasi family dia duit or not tats his prob and i never asked. i tau duit i and blanje rmh da settle.
<font color="119911">san
true wat line says if ada kemampuan u or ur hub utk belikan dorang anggap je cam sedekah or setakat menolong apa yg mampu.. u r lucky u still can help ur PIL, even ur parents tolong u tak minta balasan, unlike my parents yes my own parents if lets say i kirim dorang smtg from JB both demand me to pay back.. tak org tak kita k dear.. well apa pun i shld say u beruntung punyai suami yg simpati dgn parents dia or ada hati perut & bleh bawa berbincang unlike mine..</font>
true wat line says if ada kemampuan u or ur hub utk belikan dorang anggap je cam sedekah or setakat menolong apa yg mampu.. u r lucky u still can help ur PIL, even ur parents tolong u tak minta balasan, unlike my parents yes my own parents if lets say i kirim dorang smtg from JB both demand me to pay back.. tak org tak kita k dear.. well apa pun i shld say u beruntung punyai suami yg simpati dgn parents dia or ada hati perut & bleh bawa berbincang unlike mine..</font>
<font color="ff6000">Lina,
We did help on the facial. Dah kasi muka...now asking for monthly 5kg cooking oil. Then 2 days ago, 10kg rice. Dah macam routine plak.
I asked the maid...is there no communication in the hse btw mil and fil?
Maid kata, tkde...MIL byk simpan secret yg FIL tk tahu. See what I mean?
Zu,
I dah berbual + luahkan my pendapat tapi tu lah...the word "kesian" tak abis-abis keluar dari mulut hub. Duno IF he kesian bini dia yg bekerja mcm 1/2 mampus nie...
And I also dun reali like e way my MIL provoke me with questions like, "Gaji Su ada cecah 2 ribu?"
Must she ask abt my salary?
</font>
We did help on the facial. Dah kasi muka...now asking for monthly 5kg cooking oil. Then 2 days ago, 10kg rice. Dah macam routine plak.
I asked the maid...is there no communication in the hse btw mil and fil?
Maid kata, tkde...MIL byk simpan secret yg FIL tk tahu. See what I mean?
Zu,
I dah berbual + luahkan my pendapat tapi tu lah...the word "kesian" tak abis-abis keluar dari mulut hub. Duno IF he kesian bini dia yg bekerja mcm 1/2 mampus nie...
And I also dun reali like e way my MIL provoke me with questions like, "Gaji Su ada cecah 2 ribu?"
Must she ask abt my salary?
</font>
<font color="ff6000">Nshahi,
Alhmdllh..I beruntung dpt suami yg penyabar + bole bawa berbincang tapi kena ingt, tak semesti air yg tenang tiada buaya.
My styles are very simple. If you wana point out my mistakes, make sure I dun hv points to point at the other party.
I bukan tak nk sedekah tapi AKAN menjadi tanggungjawab my husband to supply all these which I tak nak berlaku cos she hv her husband.</font>
Alhmdllh..I beruntung dpt suami yg penyabar + bole bawa berbincang tapi kena ingt, tak semesti air yg tenang tiada buaya.
My styles are very simple. If you wana point out my mistakes, make sure I dun hv points to point at the other party.
I bukan tak nk sedekah tapi AKAN menjadi tanggungjawab my husband to supply all these which I tak nak berlaku cos she hv her husband.</font>
my mom always pesan me, never2 ungkit, marah, tegur, halang my husband from doing/buying/giving anything for his mom...
coz tanggungjawap anak lelaki pada ibunya sehingga ibunya mati...
as much as a husband must prioritise and make sure his wife & kids are taken care of, his utmost priority must always be mom.
i leave to my husband discretion whatever he gives his mom. full stop.
bingit, coz at times, kita tak cukup, tadah tangan tak dapat.. but i always remind myself - i ada anak lelaki. saper tahu nasib i nanti
coz tanggungjawap anak lelaki pada ibunya sehingga ibunya mati...
as much as a husband must prioritise and make sure his wife & kids are taken care of, his utmost priority must always be mom.
i leave to my husband discretion whatever he gives his mom. full stop.
bingit, coz at times, kita tak cukup, tadah tangan tak dapat.. but i always remind myself - i ada anak lelaki. saper tahu nasib i nanti
<font color="ff6000">Oh ya...adding to it..."Emak SEPATUTNYA duduk rumah rehat..bukan hantar anak sekolah sampai kena jalan 30 mins etc.."
What is he trying to tell me here?
I replied (kind of kasar sebab dah tk boleh angkat punya kes),"Kalau dah tahu, in e 1st plc..dun get pregnant and hv children. Marry and stay at it is.."
</font>
What is he trying to tell me here?
I replied (kind of kasar sebab dah tk boleh angkat punya kes),"Kalau dah tahu, in e 1st plc..dun get pregnant and hv children. Marry and stay at it is.."
</font>
<font color="119911">san
true wat Slynn ckp gak, biarkan apa sang suami nak beri or kasi pada keluarganya cukup masa u got ur nafkah or ur duit belanja & hub tak merengek pat u ckp tak cukup thus minta u balik, ah lau cam tu mmg ah pantang seh.. n which is happening to me.. i told him dont ever stop or ask how much i gv my mum, skit or byk its my responsible.. bt wen he contribute sesenyap to his siblings esp, he will then bcome stress & tend to b short of duit then only i found out that hes helping them which is not FAIR</font>
true wat Slynn ckp gak, biarkan apa sang suami nak beri or kasi pada keluarganya cukup masa u got ur nafkah or ur duit belanja & hub tak merengek pat u ckp tak cukup thus minta u balik, ah lau cam tu mmg ah pantang seh.. n which is happening to me.. i told him dont ever stop or ask how much i gv my mum, skit or byk its my responsible.. bt wen he contribute sesenyap to his siblings esp, he will then bcome stress & tend to b short of duit then only i found out that hes helping them which is not FAIR</font>
smalldreams
Active Member
<font color="0077aa">macam2 topik seh hari ni...</font>
shahlynn\san hihihi
based on ur inputs....senang cakap ur MIL nie 'manja' walaupun dah ade suami....
for myself...i tulis semua keperluan keluarga...every mth....kalau ade balance n it happens to be my hub's share...then i no questionslah coz semua dia dah settlekan...
based on ur inputs....senang cakap ur MIL nie 'manja' walaupun dah ade suami....
for myself...i tulis semua keperluan keluarga...every mth....kalau ade balance n it happens to be my hub's share...then i no questionslah coz semua dia dah settlekan...
<font color="000000">"my mom always pesan me, never2 ungkit, marah, tegur, halang my husband from doing/buying/giving anything for his mom...
coz tanggungjawap anak lelaki pada ibunya sehingga ibunya mati.."
Slynn,
agree so much..kita ada anak lelaki juga, lom tahu anak pompuan mcm mane..what goes round comes round..
though i didnt deny, ada juga masalah dgn IL..tapi kalau i nak berdendam dan nak fikir kan masa2 lampau..i think sampai ke mati pon tak selesai, doing this wont make me a happier person either.....tak kan dah kawin jadi musuh, dulu nak kan laki bertangga tangga..
</font>
coz tanggungjawap anak lelaki pada ibunya sehingga ibunya mati.."
Slynn,
agree so much..kita ada anak lelaki juga, lom tahu anak pompuan mcm mane..what goes round comes round..
though i didnt deny, ada juga masalah dgn IL..tapi kalau i nak berdendam dan nak fikir kan masa2 lampau..i think sampai ke mati pon tak selesai, doing this wont make me a happier person either.....tak kan dah kawin jadi musuh, dulu nak kan laki bertangga tangga..
</font>
<font color="ff6000">SLynn,
I wish I can be a better DIL but I guess I cant.
So much plans that was planned by her I know and been trying to keep a look out.
What you hv stated there are true. I agreed.
She wants e maid to come on every wknds to help with e hse chores BUT if cnt, every 2 weeks will do. That for sure a NO for me. (She told e maid to ask my hub if it can be arranged)
She wants e "cheapest" facial wash that MUST be bought at Larkin. Cost us RM50 sebab muka dia dah copak-copak. Kita cari takde in e end hub kasi RM50 to her. (Once upon a time I use Clinique bt nw dwngrde to Nivea)
Monthly Vesawit brand but selalu OOS. Bukan tk cari but not her rezeki.
Now, req for 10kg Flying Man rice cos there's no more rice left.
I'm not restricting. She know we have our problems too and all involves $$$.
Harith new school cost us $430 and transferring of maid $334.10...Alhmdllh, semua dah settle. Cuma tempat masak dapur I + paip blom settle. Tu smua $$$. She knew it...
I cuma wondering...why she didnt tell FIL abt the household needs..WHY?
My BIL's gf called me. She also dah mcm serik nk ke sana. Itu pon kalau kena paksa cos whenever she's there...MIL wil sound her bila nk blnja makan etc...</font>
I wish I can be a better DIL but I guess I cant.
So much plans that was planned by her I know and been trying to keep a look out.
What you hv stated there are true. I agreed.
She wants e maid to come on every wknds to help with e hse chores BUT if cnt, every 2 weeks will do. That for sure a NO for me. (She told e maid to ask my hub if it can be arranged)
She wants e "cheapest" facial wash that MUST be bought at Larkin. Cost us RM50 sebab muka dia dah copak-copak. Kita cari takde in e end hub kasi RM50 to her. (Once upon a time I use Clinique bt nw dwngrde to Nivea)
Monthly Vesawit brand but selalu OOS. Bukan tk cari but not her rezeki.
Now, req for 10kg Flying Man rice cos there's no more rice left.
I'm not restricting. She know we have our problems too and all involves $$$.
Harith new school cost us $430 and transferring of maid $334.10...Alhmdllh, semua dah settle. Cuma tempat masak dapur I + paip blom settle. Tu smua $$$. She knew it...
I cuma wondering...why she didnt tell FIL abt the household needs..WHY?
My BIL's gf called me. She also dah mcm serik nk ke sana. Itu pon kalau kena paksa cos whenever she's there...MIL wil sound her bila nk blnja makan etc...</font>
smalldreams
Active Member
<font color="0077aa">banyak topiks bagus, tapi hati2 jgn sampai melampau2....
</font>
<font color="000000">San
then jauhkan diri...like me once upon a time..
tapi i tak halang hub jumpa ibunya..dan beri duit belanja tiap bulan..malahan i ingatkan..
kalau beli present my mom, i pon belikan utk dia..
i sendiri pon beri duit sdr kasi kalau ada lebih..I anggap satu sedekah..busuk2 dia yg melahirkan my hub..
dari mil tak suka..lama2 dia lembut hati juga..
ape nak buat tak smua menantu pompan beruntung..</font>
then jauhkan diri...like me once upon a time..
tapi i tak halang hub jumpa ibunya..dan beri duit belanja tiap bulan..malahan i ingatkan..
kalau beli present my mom, i pon belikan utk dia..
i sendiri pon beri duit sdr kasi kalau ada lebih..I anggap satu sedekah..busuk2 dia yg melahirkan my hub..
dari mil tak suka..lama2 dia lembut hati juga..
ape nak buat tak smua menantu pompan beruntung..</font>
<font color="000000">San
just to share..dulu i very timid suka memendam perasaan...end up asyik gadoh aje dgn hub...dan hampir2....
sekarang tidakk...ckp lahh, kalau tak sedap di telinga i will say out..ape masalah kita duduk berbincang..panggil Ipar duai skali.....no way i will keep myself mum anymore...dorang terima atau tak dats none of my business..yg penting kita dah bualkan and matter resolved..</font>
just to share..dulu i very timid suka memendam perasaan...end up asyik gadoh aje dgn hub...dan hampir2....
sekarang tidakk...ckp lahh, kalau tak sedap di telinga i will say out..ape masalah kita duduk berbincang..panggil Ipar duai skali.....no way i will keep myself mum anymore...dorang terima atau tak dats none of my business..yg penting kita dah bualkan and matter resolved..</font>
<font color="ff6000">Slynn / Nshahi / Notty / Lina,
Yes. It's 80% credited to SIL cos she keep asking from all of us like mentioned b4. SIL will use the term like, "Aku dah 3 hari tk mkn. Mcm nk mati etc..."
So in e end, MIL kasi lah even sndri tak cukup cos she always thnk my hub will help. Bila suro BIL tolong, alasan dia blom gaji. Abis kitaorng gaji tiap-tiap hari ke?
Kita mmng nk jmp FIL tapi selalu tk kesampaian. He's been working late.
MIL also tell Ipah nt to tell FIL tat SIL borrow Ipah's $100 which took her close to 2 mths to pay back.</font>
Yes. It's 80% credited to SIL cos she keep asking from all of us like mentioned b4. SIL will use the term like, "Aku dah 3 hari tk mkn. Mcm nk mati etc..."
So in e end, MIL kasi lah even sndri tak cukup cos she always thnk my hub will help. Bila suro BIL tolong, alasan dia blom gaji. Abis kitaorng gaji tiap-tiap hari ke?
Kita mmng nk jmp FIL tapi selalu tk kesampaian. He's been working late.
MIL also tell Ipah nt to tell FIL tat SIL borrow Ipah's $100 which took her close to 2 mths to pay back.</font>