keepingcool
New Member
Hello everyone, I need some advice on my on-going divorce with my ex-husband and I would really appreciate all forms of useful words! 
This is gonna be a long post...
Basically, we have entered the second stage of divorce proceedings, which is the settling of our assets and child. We have a 4 year old daughter, and a 3 year old HDB BTO flat. It is a contested divorce as we are unable to agree on our child and flat.
These are his terms:
1) Joint custody with care and control to me AND liberal access to our daughter (meaning he can visit as and when he wants), plus her birthday, all public holidays and school holidays.
2) To pay a minimum of $150 a month for child support.
3) Education and Medical fees to be bourne 50/50
4) To sell off the house on the open market (??? it's under 5 years MOP) and he gets 70% of the sales proceeds.
My terms are as such:
1) Joint custody with care and control to me with only limited access one day a week. His mom must be around to supervise as I do not trust him and his gf alone with my daughter
2) Child support at min 1k as on average my daughter's expenses are at 2k plus a month including childcare, rental and helper.
3) Education and medical fees to be 50/50. When i mean education, I mean enrichment and recreational classes.
4) For me to buy over his share of his share of the house but at 50% or whatever the judge deems is worthy to be considered 'his share'.
My ex and I have filed the 1st round of Affidavits, whereby i have listed my financial and non-financial contributions in great detail, and provided receipts for all my expenses. Whereas on his part, he indicated a one liner saying he looked after the family and paid for everything. Without proof or evidence whatsoever.
When I filed notices for interrogatories and discoveries for elaboration, and documents to prove his claims and expenses, he ignored everything despite several written reminders from my lawyers to his. At the last case conference, his lawyer insisted that my ex is 'not in the habit of keeping receipts', and is only able to provide bank account statements, not his credit card statements, payslips, cpf contribution statement etc... all these which i feel are very basic documents which should have been provided especially during a contested divorce like this. The judge instructed my lawyers to send yet ANOTHER written reminder for the documents requested.
I just have some questions:
1) Based on this kind of scenario, what are the chances of me getting my terms granted? (im not eligible for wife maintenance because i earn more than him. he has also changed his job to a lower paying one 3 months ago. ever since we filed for divorce and he moved out in Jan2016, i have been paying the bills and supporting myself and daughter - he did not pay a single cent)
2) How long more is this going to take?
3) The fact that he has not provided any documents besides bank statements... how will it affect how the judge sees our case?
4) I am unable to file for a second affidavit because he has not given his documents, but i seriously wonder - based on his first affidavit which is so threadbare - what is there that i can write in response? if anyone can give me some examples?
5) is there anyway to get backdated arrears and expenses for the almost 2 years that he has not contributed to my daughter's upbringing?
6) Will I be able to make him pay for my divorce cost?
I am so sorry for this long winded post... appreciate some replies. thank you so much!
This is gonna be a long post... Basically, we have entered the second stage of divorce proceedings, which is the settling of our assets and child. We have a 4 year old daughter, and a 3 year old HDB BTO flat. It is a contested divorce as we are unable to agree on our child and flat.
These are his terms:
1) Joint custody with care and control to me AND liberal access to our daughter (meaning he can visit as and when he wants), plus her birthday, all public holidays and school holidays.
2) To pay a minimum of $150 a month for child support.
3) Education and Medical fees to be bourne 50/50
4) To sell off the house on the open market (??? it's under 5 years MOP) and he gets 70% of the sales proceeds.
My terms are as such:
1) Joint custody with care and control to me with only limited access one day a week. His mom must be around to supervise as I do not trust him and his gf alone with my daughter
2) Child support at min 1k as on average my daughter's expenses are at 2k plus a month including childcare, rental and helper.
3) Education and medical fees to be 50/50. When i mean education, I mean enrichment and recreational classes.
4) For me to buy over his share of his share of the house but at 50% or whatever the judge deems is worthy to be considered 'his share'.
My ex and I have filed the 1st round of Affidavits, whereby i have listed my financial and non-financial contributions in great detail, and provided receipts for all my expenses. Whereas on his part, he indicated a one liner saying he looked after the family and paid for everything. Without proof or evidence whatsoever.
When I filed notices for interrogatories and discoveries for elaboration, and documents to prove his claims and expenses, he ignored everything despite several written reminders from my lawyers to his. At the last case conference, his lawyer insisted that my ex is 'not in the habit of keeping receipts', and is only able to provide bank account statements, not his credit card statements, payslips, cpf contribution statement etc... all these which i feel are very basic documents which should have been provided especially during a contested divorce like this. The judge instructed my lawyers to send yet ANOTHER written reminder for the documents requested.
I just have some questions:
1) Based on this kind of scenario, what are the chances of me getting my terms granted? (im not eligible for wife maintenance because i earn more than him. he has also changed his job to a lower paying one 3 months ago. ever since we filed for divorce and he moved out in Jan2016, i have been paying the bills and supporting myself and daughter - he did not pay a single cent)
2) How long more is this going to take?
3) The fact that he has not provided any documents besides bank statements... how will it affect how the judge sees our case?
4) I am unable to file for a second affidavit because he has not given his documents, but i seriously wonder - based on his first affidavit which is so threadbare - what is there that i can write in response? if anyone can give me some examples?
5) is there anyway to get backdated arrears and expenses for the almost 2 years that he has not contributed to my daughter's upbringing?
6) Will I be able to make him pay for my divorce cost?
I am so sorry for this long winded post... appreciate some replies. thank you so much!