bbbumpshop
New Member
Baby dust to all.. Gambatte
(2012) TTC for #1 2012 Mums!
- Thread starter nb01
- Start date
Hi ladies,
Price reduced!
I will like to sell the following excess items as I am using the Clearblue fertility monitor:-
1) 9 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 06/2012)
2) 4 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 01/2013)
3) 15 One Step Ovulation test strips (expiry 06/2013)
I will like to sell all the above at $50. Please PM me if interested.
Price reduced!
I will like to sell the following excess items as I am using the Clearblue fertility monitor:-
1) 9 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 06/2012)
2) 4 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 01/2013)
3) 15 One Step Ovulation test strips (expiry 06/2013)
I will like to sell all the above at $50. Please PM me if interested.
Hi ladies,
Updated!
I will like to sell the following excess items as I am using the Clearblue fertility monitor:-
1) 7 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 06/2012)
2) 4 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 01/2013)
3) 15 One Step Ovulation test strips (expiry 06/2013)
I will like to sell all the above at $45. For this price, items 2) and 3) are practically free!
Please PM me if interested.
Updated!
I will like to sell the following excess items as I am using the Clearblue fertility monitor:-
1) 7 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 06/2012)
2) 4 Clearblue digital ovulation test sticks (expiry 01/2013)
3) 15 One Step Ovulation test strips (expiry 06/2013)
I will like to sell all the above at $45. For this price, items 2) and 3) are practically free!
Please PM me if interested.
gimme_a_break
New Member
Hi Loves,
Is so kind of you to share with us your baby dust. I hope to get a few eggs from you.
In fact, i went there few weeks ago hoping to get some eggs but there isn't any. A gal in forum said she was going to return eggs. Maybe i went there too early or too late..
AF reported.. haiz!
Is so kind of you to share with us your baby dust. I hope to get a few eggs from you.
In fact, i went there few weeks ago hoping to get some eggs but there isn't any. A gal in forum said she was going to return eggs. Maybe i went there too early or too late..
AF reported.. haiz!
Hi,
I have some leftover brand new packets of ovulation test strips because I manage to conceive after using it. Please pm me if you are interested.
1) An open box with 4 packets of Guardian ovulation test sticks (expiry 07/2012) - selling at $16
2) A brand new box of 5 packets of Guardian ovulation test sticks (expiry 07/2012) - selling at $20
The retail price is around $36 per box at Guardian.
I have some leftover brand new packets of ovulation test strips because I manage to conceive after using it. Please pm me if you are interested.
1) An open box with 4 packets of Guardian ovulation test sticks (expiry 07/2012) - selling at $16
2) A brand new box of 5 packets of Guardian ovulation test sticks (expiry 07/2012) - selling at $20
The retail price is around $36 per box at Guardian.
Hi all, i got a BFP last week, i'm 7 plus weeks now.
I hope all ladies here stay strong and positive. I'm sure you will get your sticky bean soon! I've PCOS, even my doc was surprised i manage to concieve naturally.
Stay hopeful and positive, you will get what you want soon. Good luck ladies! Spread many bb dust!
I hope all ladies here stay strong and positive. I'm sure you will get your sticky bean soon! I've PCOS, even my doc was surprised i manage to concieve naturally.
Stay hopeful and positive, you will get what you want soon. Good luck ladies! Spread many bb dust!
gimme_a_break
New Member
Congrats Shaggy!
So you managed to conceived naturally without medication?
So you managed to conceived naturally without medication?
<font color="000080">SJX >> "best" meaning what? I'd say to minimise stress and unnecessary worry, just test DPO21 so less likely to get false negative? 
Joey >> You're in the wrong thread, this is for ppl who are trying. But to answer your qn, please go and see a gynae immediately. Bleeding is NOT NORMAL, but in a lot of cases it can be completely HARMLESS. Your best bet is to go on bedrest and see a gynae who will prescribe you with hormone pills to stabilise the pregnancy. At this stage, most gynae will tell you they don't know the reason for the bleeding either, so just be kiasu and wait and see. I recommend my gynae Dr Lien (Mount E), who is super kiasu and will do his utmost to keep your baby.</font>
Joey >> You're in the wrong thread, this is for ppl who are trying. But to answer your qn, please go and see a gynae immediately. Bleeding is NOT NORMAL, but in a lot of cases it can be completely HARMLESS. Your best bet is to go on bedrest and see a gynae who will prescribe you with hormone pills to stabilise the pregnancy. At this stage, most gynae will tell you they don't know the reason for the bleeding either, so just be kiasu and wait and see. I recommend my gynae Dr Lien (Mount E), who is super kiasu and will do his utmost to keep your baby.</font>
hi girls> i on and off this forum occasionally...and to update, i'm still TCC-ing...been 13 months of trying already...tried TCM for 6 months and gave up...duno what happen inside...should i go see gynae? i went to see one 7 months ago and he told me i got eggs, can ovaluate etc, hence, didnt do any test....should i go again? i always tell myself be positive but every month AF comes i feel sad...haiz...
Longtaizi I am like u, i ttc for almost 1.5 years before I strike. I went to see gynae and he said i am ovulating. Has ur hubby gone for Sperm analysis? It will be good for him to do one. If your hubby has no sperm related issues, then I would suggest you consider discussing with ur gynae whether it could be that your fallopians tubes are blocked - u will have to go tru a procedure called HSG for that.
Hi ladies,
If you are considering to purchase OPK/ HPT, Pre-Seed, Conceive Plus, Clearblue Digital OPK/ HPT, basal thermometersand TTC supplements such as red raspberry tea leaves, royal jelly and bee pollen and CoQ10, do check out http://babydustshop.blogspot.com
Jacelyn Tay (ex Mediacorp Actress) shared one of her success tips in conceiving easily is drinking organic raspberry tea that improves the health of her womb. Do try out this tea which is now available at Baby Dust Shop.
Another partner of Baby Dust Shop is pregnant and we have tons of babydust to sprinkle on all our customers!
If you are considering to purchase OPK/ HPT, Pre-Seed, Conceive Plus, Clearblue Digital OPK/ HPT, basal thermometersand TTC supplements such as red raspberry tea leaves, royal jelly and bee pollen and CoQ10, do check out http://babydustshop.blogspot.com
Jacelyn Tay (ex Mediacorp Actress) shared one of her success tips in conceiving easily is drinking organic raspberry tea that improves the health of her womb. Do try out this tea which is now available at Baby Dust Shop.
Another partner of Baby Dust Shop is pregnant and we have tons of babydust to sprinkle on all our customers!
vanilla04
Active Member
Hi all TTC-ing mates,
I really do not wish to come back to this thread and start all over again. But its a painful fact..
I lost my boy when he is exactly 25 weeks..
24 Jan 2012
It was 2nd Day of CNY when i discover that i had this green jelly mucus like discharge without any blood. The first time that comes to my mind was "Is this the mucus plug that came off?” I told myself how could it be when I’m still 3 months away from the EDD. Discharges are pretty common during pregnancy. The discharge came on and off.
27 Jan 2012
Had my routine check up with my Gyane. Everything was fine. Estimated weight for my boy was 761g. I was very happy as this weight is supposed to be a weight for baby who are in their 26 weeks but my boy was only in his 24 weeks.
1 Feb 2012
I started to have this menses like aching pain. 酸酸痛痛 but it came and go twice for the whole day. Considering it is neither frequent nor intense, I’ll monitor it and see how.
2 Feb 2012
For the whole day I do not feel anything till evening the aching pain came back twice. That night around 7pm, I had a bad feeling that this is not right. Considering the pain and the discharge. I suspect that I might have some infection so I went down to the GP and was diagnosed with UTI(尿道发炎). However, the antibiotics that is suitable for pregnancy is not available in the clinic so I was told to get it from the pharmacy tomorrow.
I was really relived to know that nothing big is going on. Despite the pain is quite persistent, I just thought that it might be the infection.
I went to bed at around 11pm, I was lying on my bed and suddenly I felt this powerful kick that I never had in my whole pregnancy. The kicks are so hard so powerful and he kick it like so fast. At first I was enjoying it. However, the kicks I’m getting suddenly made me felt so scared. He was kicking so hard and so fast that it was like 20-30 kicks in less than 2 minutes. I’m not joking I really felt scared. Dear dear came home at 12am and he asked me if I’m alright. I told him: “哇！你的儿子刚才踢很大力!” When I recalled back, it seems like乐乐 was like asking me for help. But I didn’t.
However, that night I woke up at 5am in pain that is still bearable but can’t sleep. I woke dear dear up and told him I need to go get the antibiotics now as I’m in pain. We then make out way to 24 hrs clinic. I told he doc I was in pain and suspect that I might have UTI. So he asked me to do a urine test. When I got up I felt something coming out. I thought I can’t control my pee. I knew something is not right.
I went to the toilet, pull down my pants and I saw blood. Lots of blood. I freaked out. I don’t know what to do. I collected the urine and I dash out to dear dear and told him I’m bleeding badly. He nurse heard me and keep telling me, “IT’S FINE, ITS NORMAL IN UTI”, I told her its not a small amount of blood. It is a lot! She assures me again that it is fine and asked me to see the doc first.. The whole container is not in urine color but blood.
I went in and the doc told me it is fine. It is really common in UTI. However, I keep telling him it’s a lot of blood!! Again he told me its normal. So I was prescribed with the antibiotics and some pain killers.
We went back home, took the medicine and I expect to fall asleep soon. However the pain got so intense that I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turn in great pain. I felt like peeing and shitting. During that time I still felt he was kicking me but very gentle 5 kicks. When I think back, 乐乐 was like trying to say: “Daddy & Mummy, bye bye!” or “ Daddy Mummy, I Love You!”
It was around 6am when we got home and the pain got so intense that I go dear dear to call up our gyane to let him know what is going on and I knew in my heart this time I’m not gonna be so lucky, I knew something bad is gonna happen. We called the gyane at 735am. He told us to go to TMC level 2 now.
We make out way to the hospital. The pain was so intense that I felt the urge to push. That’s when I really knew “its bad”. Morning traffic delayed out time. Perhaps took us 45mins – 1 hr to get to KK. I felt the urge to push but I knew I can’t push, I can’t, I mustn’t. Still the water bag broke while we are on the way to the hospital. I remember it so clearly, the warm water that flow out of me. When the water bag broke the pain is gone totally gone. I sat there in daze, nothing was in my mind. I didn’t want to think about it. I knew I had lost my boy. I just knew it somewhere in my heart but just waiting for someone to confirm it. I told Dear Dear not to go to TMC, we shall go KK instead as KK had the facilities and equipment for Pre-Mature babies.
We got to the O&G 24 hrs Clinic. The doc there took the scope and asked me to listen for his heartbeat but I couldn’t hear anything and the doc didn’t say anything. I was being push to the delivery suite. When I was n the way up to delivery suite, I heard the doc saying softly: “There was no fetal heartbeat and bb was in footling breech position.” In the delivery suite, I was given an Ultrasound. Doc just couldn’t find his heartbeat.
Doc turn to me and told me she was so sorry, my boy is gone. I had to deliver him now as his legs are already half way into the birth canal. I was asked to push if I have the urge to. I lie there in daze, no tears no feeling, no nothing. I asked for Dear Dear to be there for me.
The pain, I couldn’t describe. I guess I’m just too shocked to have any emotions. The urge come I push, the urge come I pushed. I can’t remember how many pushes I had. I knew I just had to get him out.
Castiel Tan Le Le， 陈乐乐 was born still on 3rd Feb 2012, 0921am, weighing at 766g with a fetal height of 35cm tall. We need to give him a name as my parents wanted to give him a small ritual. I named him “乐乐” in hoping that he will be happy without us in which ever god that is holding him right now.
The nurse asked if I wanted to hold him? I hesitate. Hubby stopped me from carry him. Nurse said when I’m ready, I can carry him. In fact, I’m so afraid of carrying him. I do not know how does he looked like? Did I twisted him arms or legs or made his face……… But I knew if I don’t carry him now. I will definitely regret it after.
I couldn’t forget the moment I carried him in my arms, the feeling? Its beyond words. It felt so lousy, I felt like the whole world collapse on me. 乐乐 looked so small, his face. I don’t have the courage to flip open the swaddle to look at his small little body. His hands, his feet. His round round little tummy. I couldn’t. 乐乐looked so much like his daddy, his face looked exactly like his dad. Small and sharp. His mouth, looked just like his dad, small and thin. 乐乐doesn’t looked like any pre-mature babies. 乐乐looked so much like a full term baby but in a smaller version. I couldn’t stop crying the moment I carried him in my arms. When I looked at his small face, when I touché his cheek with my finger, my heart broke. My finger is so big to him. His whole face is like just half of my palm size. His face is really soft like new born. His round round little head with hair.
It is really so dramatic. I felt so unfair!!
I had to wait in the delivery suite for recovery. Nurse measured乐乐, weighted乐乐, got乐乐 something to wear, the shirt is so small not bigger then my palm size. The knitted hat for pre-mature babies I guess. When the nurse got him dress up, she took him away for photoshoot. Came back and gave me the photo. I looked into the photo and he looked just like he was sleeping. Sound asleep. Not long, the undertaker is here to take 乐乐 away, into the mortuary. I took a last look at 乐乐, he really just looked like a normal baby who is so soundly asleep. I just couldn’t accept the fact that he is gone. I totally broke down, my heart sank.
When I was in the hospital, the delivery suite. I kept asking myself, why? Why my boy? It was a healthy pregnancy. I heard woman screaming and minutes later, I heard baby crying. Not one but many. I asked hubby, why other people pregnancy is so smooth, nothing happen yet my pregnancy end up in such a tragic way? Later we called our Gyane and he said it was 1:200 ratio. WTF!! I’m just the damn unlucky 1?? Why cant it be others?
4th Feb 2012
I was discharged from the hospital. 乐乐’s ritual is schedule at 3pm at Mandai. Hubby meet the master to bring乐乐 out. We was asked to gave 3 clothing, sweets, milk for the ritual. I prepared more. I told my sis to get him a pair of mittens and booties afraid that乐乐 might be cold as the romper I insisted on letting him wear is short. We reached Mandai at 2.30pm. We waited for乐乐’s arrival at HALL 1. I brought a bib that was given free on the last routine check up by the gyane. It says: “Daddy’s Little Drive” with a car red in color. While waiting for乐乐 to arrival, I sat there started to think about乐乐. The moment I start thinking of him, I couldn’t stop crying. We both cried. Soon, 乐乐 arrived. The person asked if we wanted to take a last look at him? I didn’t hesitate. I looked at hubby and nodded my head. When I looked in the “bed” that he lie in. He looked so small, so small. My heart really felt so painful seeing him lying so motionless inside. He really just looked sound asleep. He looked so smart in the romper that my sis bought from Tommy Hilfiger. It really looked nice on him. 乐乐 will be a handsome boy!
Confinement Started
I remember asking dear dear, other people do confinement need to look after baby, what can I do during my confinement? A confinement without a baby is already torturous enough yet people keep coming in and tell me this can’t that can’t. I’m not doing a normal confinement; can’t you guys be satisfied when I have already done 80%?
I think a lot during these few days. Everything reminds me of乐乐. The prenatal pills, the kicks that he will give me when I called him, the stretch marks on my tummy(his trophy =]), stretch marks on my boobs, the maternity wear, the bed that I spent time talking to him, the promises that was made to him by his daddy, promised that we’ll bring him to swimming every Sunday after he is born etc etc. I woke up every morning with nothing to look forward to.
There are so many things I regretted not doing. Or never had a chance to do it.
Quoted from "Farewell my child"
"When a child dies, all the dreams and hopes the parents have for him die along with the child. Feeling helpless as I am unable to protect my boy from harm. Feeling guilty as I am unable to fulfill the responsibilities and duties of parenthood, which are to protect, love and care."
I regretted not kissing him. Not being able to bath him for once. Not being able to dress him for the first and last time before sending him off. I regretted so many things. Its already so near.. I made it thru for 25 weeks….. I’m only left with 11 weeks before the arrival of beanie.. Why.. Why my boy??
I knew the fastest way to get me back is to have another one soon. But I knew the feeling of losses, thus I’ll even afraid of losing him/her again.
I really do not wish to come back to this thread and start all over again. But its a painful fact..
I lost my boy when he is exactly 25 weeks..
24 Jan 2012
It was 2nd Day of CNY when i discover that i had this green jelly mucus like discharge without any blood. The first time that comes to my mind was "Is this the mucus plug that came off?” I told myself how could it be when I’m still 3 months away from the EDD. Discharges are pretty common during pregnancy. The discharge came on and off.
27 Jan 2012
Had my routine check up with my Gyane. Everything was fine. Estimated weight for my boy was 761g. I was very happy as this weight is supposed to be a weight for baby who are in their 26 weeks but my boy was only in his 24 weeks.
1 Feb 2012
I started to have this menses like aching pain. 酸酸痛痛 but it came and go twice for the whole day. Considering it is neither frequent nor intense, I’ll monitor it and see how.
2 Feb 2012
For the whole day I do not feel anything till evening the aching pain came back twice. That night around 7pm, I had a bad feeling that this is not right. Considering the pain and the discharge. I suspect that I might have some infection so I went down to the GP and was diagnosed with UTI(尿道发炎). However, the antibiotics that is suitable for pregnancy is not available in the clinic so I was told to get it from the pharmacy tomorrow.
I was really relived to know that nothing big is going on. Despite the pain is quite persistent, I just thought that it might be the infection.
I went to bed at around 11pm, I was lying on my bed and suddenly I felt this powerful kick that I never had in my whole pregnancy. The kicks are so hard so powerful and he kick it like so fast. At first I was enjoying it. However, the kicks I’m getting suddenly made me felt so scared. He was kicking so hard and so fast that it was like 20-30 kicks in less than 2 minutes. I’m not joking I really felt scared. Dear dear came home at 12am and he asked me if I’m alright. I told him: “哇！你的儿子刚才踢很大力!” When I recalled back, it seems like乐乐 was like asking me for help. But I didn’t.
However, that night I woke up at 5am in pain that is still bearable but can’t sleep. I woke dear dear up and told him I need to go get the antibiotics now as I’m in pain. We then make out way to 24 hrs clinic. I told he doc I was in pain and suspect that I might have UTI. So he asked me to do a urine test. When I got up I felt something coming out. I thought I can’t control my pee. I knew something is not right.
I went to the toilet, pull down my pants and I saw blood. Lots of blood. I freaked out. I don’t know what to do. I collected the urine and I dash out to dear dear and told him I’m bleeding badly. He nurse heard me and keep telling me, “IT’S FINE, ITS NORMAL IN UTI”, I told her its not a small amount of blood. It is a lot! She assures me again that it is fine and asked me to see the doc first.. The whole container is not in urine color but blood.
I went in and the doc told me it is fine. It is really common in UTI. However, I keep telling him it’s a lot of blood!! Again he told me its normal. So I was prescribed with the antibiotics and some pain killers.
We went back home, took the medicine and I expect to fall asleep soon. However the pain got so intense that I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turn in great pain. I felt like peeing and shitting. During that time I still felt he was kicking me but very gentle 5 kicks. When I think back, 乐乐 was like trying to say: “Daddy & Mummy, bye bye!” or “ Daddy Mummy, I Love You!”
It was around 6am when we got home and the pain got so intense that I go dear dear to call up our gyane to let him know what is going on and I knew in my heart this time I’m not gonna be so lucky, I knew something bad is gonna happen. We called the gyane at 735am. He told us to go to TMC level 2 now.
We make out way to the hospital. The pain was so intense that I felt the urge to push. That’s when I really knew “its bad”. Morning traffic delayed out time. Perhaps took us 45mins – 1 hr to get to KK. I felt the urge to push but I knew I can’t push, I can’t, I mustn’t. Still the water bag broke while we are on the way to the hospital. I remember it so clearly, the warm water that flow out of me. When the water bag broke the pain is gone totally gone. I sat there in daze, nothing was in my mind. I didn’t want to think about it. I knew I had lost my boy. I just knew it somewhere in my heart but just waiting for someone to confirm it. I told Dear Dear not to go to TMC, we shall go KK instead as KK had the facilities and equipment for Pre-Mature babies.
We got to the O&G 24 hrs Clinic. The doc there took the scope and asked me to listen for his heartbeat but I couldn’t hear anything and the doc didn’t say anything. I was being push to the delivery suite. When I was n the way up to delivery suite, I heard the doc saying softly: “There was no fetal heartbeat and bb was in footling breech position.” In the delivery suite, I was given an Ultrasound. Doc just couldn’t find his heartbeat.
Doc turn to me and told me she was so sorry, my boy is gone. I had to deliver him now as his legs are already half way into the birth canal. I was asked to push if I have the urge to. I lie there in daze, no tears no feeling, no nothing. I asked for Dear Dear to be there for me.
The pain, I couldn’t describe. I guess I’m just too shocked to have any emotions. The urge come I push, the urge come I pushed. I can’t remember how many pushes I had. I knew I just had to get him out.
Castiel Tan Le Le， 陈乐乐 was born still on 3rd Feb 2012, 0921am, weighing at 766g with a fetal height of 35cm tall. We need to give him a name as my parents wanted to give him a small ritual. I named him “乐乐” in hoping that he will be happy without us in which ever god that is holding him right now.
The nurse asked if I wanted to hold him? I hesitate. Hubby stopped me from carry him. Nurse said when I’m ready, I can carry him. In fact, I’m so afraid of carrying him. I do not know how does he looked like? Did I twisted him arms or legs or made his face……… But I knew if I don’t carry him now. I will definitely regret it after.
I couldn’t forget the moment I carried him in my arms, the feeling? Its beyond words. It felt so lousy, I felt like the whole world collapse on me. 乐乐 looked so small, his face. I don’t have the courage to flip open the swaddle to look at his small little body. His hands, his feet. His round round little tummy. I couldn’t. 乐乐looked so much like his daddy, his face looked exactly like his dad. Small and sharp. His mouth, looked just like his dad, small and thin. 乐乐doesn’t looked like any pre-mature babies. 乐乐looked so much like a full term baby but in a smaller version. I couldn’t stop crying the moment I carried him in my arms. When I looked at his small face, when I touché his cheek with my finger, my heart broke. My finger is so big to him. His whole face is like just half of my palm size. His face is really soft like new born. His round round little head with hair.
It is really so dramatic. I felt so unfair!!
I had to wait in the delivery suite for recovery. Nurse measured乐乐, weighted乐乐, got乐乐 something to wear, the shirt is so small not bigger then my palm size. The knitted hat for pre-mature babies I guess. When the nurse got him dress up, she took him away for photoshoot. Came back and gave me the photo. I looked into the photo and he looked just like he was sleeping. Sound asleep. Not long, the undertaker is here to take 乐乐 away, into the mortuary. I took a last look at 乐乐, he really just looked like a normal baby who is so soundly asleep. I just couldn’t accept the fact that he is gone. I totally broke down, my heart sank.
When I was in the hospital, the delivery suite. I kept asking myself, why? Why my boy? It was a healthy pregnancy. I heard woman screaming and minutes later, I heard baby crying. Not one but many. I asked hubby, why other people pregnancy is so smooth, nothing happen yet my pregnancy end up in such a tragic way? Later we called our Gyane and he said it was 1:200 ratio. WTF!! I’m just the damn unlucky 1?? Why cant it be others?
4th Feb 2012
I was discharged from the hospital. 乐乐’s ritual is schedule at 3pm at Mandai. Hubby meet the master to bring乐乐 out. We was asked to gave 3 clothing, sweets, milk for the ritual. I prepared more. I told my sis to get him a pair of mittens and booties afraid that乐乐 might be cold as the romper I insisted on letting him wear is short. We reached Mandai at 2.30pm. We waited for乐乐’s arrival at HALL 1. I brought a bib that was given free on the last routine check up by the gyane. It says: “Daddy’s Little Drive” with a car red in color. While waiting for乐乐 to arrival, I sat there started to think about乐乐. The moment I start thinking of him, I couldn’t stop crying. We both cried. Soon, 乐乐 arrived. The person asked if we wanted to take a last look at him? I didn’t hesitate. I looked at hubby and nodded my head. When I looked in the “bed” that he lie in. He looked so small, so small. My heart really felt so painful seeing him lying so motionless inside. He really just looked sound asleep. He looked so smart in the romper that my sis bought from Tommy Hilfiger. It really looked nice on him. 乐乐 will be a handsome boy!
Confinement Started
I remember asking dear dear, other people do confinement need to look after baby, what can I do during my confinement? A confinement without a baby is already torturous enough yet people keep coming in and tell me this can’t that can’t. I’m not doing a normal confinement; can’t you guys be satisfied when I have already done 80%?
I think a lot during these few days. Everything reminds me of乐乐. The prenatal pills, the kicks that he will give me when I called him, the stretch marks on my tummy(his trophy =]), stretch marks on my boobs, the maternity wear, the bed that I spent time talking to him, the promises that was made to him by his daddy, promised that we’ll bring him to swimming every Sunday after he is born etc etc. I woke up every morning with nothing to look forward to.
There are so many things I regretted not doing. Or never had a chance to do it.
Quoted from "Farewell my child"
"When a child dies, all the dreams and hopes the parents have for him die along with the child. Feeling helpless as I am unable to protect my boy from harm. Feeling guilty as I am unable to fulfill the responsibilities and duties of parenthood, which are to protect, love and care."
I regretted not kissing him. Not being able to bath him for once. Not being able to dress him for the first and last time before sending him off. I regretted so many things. Its already so near.. I made it thru for 25 weeks….. I’m only left with 11 weeks before the arrival of beanie.. Why.. Why my boy??
I knew the fastest way to get me back is to have another one soon. But I knew the feeling of losses, thus I’ll even afraid of losing him/her again.
bewildered
Member
Vanilla, what you've went through really pains me and your pain can really be felt, so raw, so strong in your post...
Really think that no one should have to go through this..
Please do not blame yourself or anything as when one is reviewing the things that happened, on hindsight, may think that thgs may have a different turn, but it is always on hindsight.. You did your best and you are a strong person...
Cry and grieve if need be, and then give yourself the time to recover and move on from there.. The support is strong in this forum, you'll be able to try again soon..
Please take good care of yourself, everyone wants the best for you, that's why they may come across as nagging, by taking really good care of yourself, you are giving yourself a much better chance to re-start.. Jia you!
Really think that no one should have to go through this..
Please do not blame yourself or anything as when one is reviewing the things that happened, on hindsight, may think that thgs may have a different turn, but it is always on hindsight.. You did your best and you are a strong person...
Cry and grieve if need be, and then give yourself the time to recover and move on from there.. The support is strong in this forum, you'll be able to try again soon..
Please take good care of yourself, everyone wants the best for you, that's why they may come across as nagging, by taking really good care of yourself, you are giving yourself a much better chance to re-start.. Jia you!
<font color="000080">Vanilla >> I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. There are no words strong enough to describe the sorrow I feel for you... totally crying and heartpain on your behalf.
Please don't blame yourself... like bewildered said, on hindsight always seems like there was something that could have been done, but you already did your best. How could you or anyone have expected this to happen?
Like that song lyrics say, "This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." 乐乐 is in a better place now. You are very strong and very brave... he will watch over his daddy and mummy. Please take care of yourself and rest well. I know the confinement rules very annoying but your relatives and friends mean well, you have to stay healthy and recover. Jiayou!</font>
Please don't blame yourself... like bewildered said, on hindsight always seems like there was something that could have been done, but you already did your best. How could you or anyone have expected this to happen?
Like that song lyrics say, "This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you." 乐乐 is in a better place now. You are very strong and very brave... he will watch over his daddy and mummy. Please take care of yourself and rest well. I know the confinement rules very annoying but your relatives and friends mean well, you have to stay healthy and recover. Jiayou!</font>
vanilla04
Active Member
Haiz..
The guilt, the regrets.. Too full too huge for me..
The unfulfilled responsibilities as a mother..
I can't control crying.. I cried everyday..
thking abt the dream n hopes I had for him..
Always dreaming the day he is gonna be born. How will he looked like. The day I gonna carry him in my arms.. But it just not e way I dreamt of, e way I hope of..
The feeling sucks!!
The guilt, the regrets.. Too full too huge for me..
The unfulfilled responsibilities as a mother..
I can't control crying.. I cried everyday..
thking abt the dream n hopes I had for him..
Always dreaming the day he is gonna be born. How will he looked like. The day I gonna carry him in my arms.. But it just not e way I dreamt of, e way I hope of..
The feeling sucks!!
esther_ksk
New Member
Vanilla,
While reading, Im cant stop my tears dropping. As a mother, we all know how you feel. Get a gud rest. Le Le will come back to you soon.
I always believe in this, if it is belong to you, no matter what happen, it won't go away.
While reading, Im cant stop my tears dropping. As a mother, we all know how you feel. Get a gud rest. Le Le will come back to you soon.
I always believe in this, if it is belong to you, no matter what happen, it won't go away.
starrie_lcc
Member
vanila, hugs.. i teared reading ur post.. pls be strong... jia you, le le will come back to u soon.. meanwhile do rest well..
bewildered
Member
vanilla04 -Jiayou! It is traumatic for anyone to have to go through this... But the only thing that one can do now is to grieve and not feel guilty about crying, just let loose and then take small small steps back to recovery..
Dear vanilla, I'm really sorry to hear your loss, I also teared when I read your story..please allow yourself to grieve..I can totally understand how you feel..at 25 weeks, you are really quite big already so definitely can feel..
But stay strong, 乐乐 will return to u someday..don't give up
But stay strong, 乐乐 will return to u someday..don't give up
piggy_peggy
New Member
Dear Vanilla. I am silently crying in front of PC reading your story. I so sorry that anyone would have to go through what you went through. I know that I would be devastated if I were you.
At this juncture of your life, I believe the only way you can find solace and peace is through prayers (whatever your religion is), prayers that god keeps 乐乐 by his side now. You can do chanting or meditation or break/holiday if it helps. Just take your time to grieve and heal before you embark on your next journey.
At this juncture of your life, I believe the only way you can find solace and peace is through prayers (whatever your religion is), prayers that god keeps 乐乐 by his side now. You can do chanting or meditation or break/holiday if it helps. Just take your time to grieve and heal before you embark on your next journey.
Hi Vanilla,
I am really shocked & sad at the same time to know this news because I had followed you from time you BFP & happy updates of your bb. You had always been so positive & encouraging to the girls here who are trying.
Understand that no words now can console & reduce your pain but I hope you will take care of your body now & stand up soon.Like some of the girls said, Le Le is waiting to be your kid again.He will be happy if you are happy...sad when you are sad cos you & him are as one.If you live, he lived and forever in your heart.
We can never know & understand why things are happening each day & there's no point to find out.So please just live life to your fullest values..pain is hard to endure but time will heal all pain. May you be able to stand up real soon and live with the hope for everything, do not give up.
I am really shocked & sad at the same time to know this news because I had followed you from time you BFP & happy updates of your bb. You had always been so positive & encouraging to the girls here who are trying.
Understand that no words now can console & reduce your pain but I hope you will take care of your body now & stand up soon.Like some of the girls said, Le Le is waiting to be your kid again.He will be happy if you are happy...sad when you are sad cos you & him are as one.If you live, he lived and forever in your heart.
We can never know & understand why things are happening each day & there's no point to find out.So please just live life to your fullest values..pain is hard to endure but time will heal all pain. May you be able to stand up real soon and live with the hope for everything, do not give up.
tangerinez
Member
Hi Vanilla, I remember you from this thread because you are so bubbly. Really sorry to hear about what you've been through. No one should have to go through such pain.
Big big big hugs to you!!!
At one point in time during my own pregnancy I had to consider terminating the little one at 23 weeks. It was heart wrenching. Of course I am not comparing my situation to yours but I want to share with you what my FIL said to console us then:
"everything happens for a reason. if our little one has to leave us earlier, it's all fated. painful as it maybe, let's think positive and be thankful we had the opportunity to be a mummy to the little one, even if for just that 20 weeks or so"
I know these words cannot take away your pain. But I sincerely hope you will recover from your pain soon, in time to come. Be positive, for 乐乐 will not wish for his mummy to be in sorrow forever. He wants mummy to be happy and have other children too.
Do not blame yourself dear. Big big big hugs!!!
If you need any listening ear, do come back here, there will be lots of sisters here to encourage you.
Big big big hugs to you!!!
At one point in time during my own pregnancy I had to consider terminating the little one at 23 weeks. It was heart wrenching. Of course I am not comparing my situation to yours but I want to share with you what my FIL said to console us then:
"everything happens for a reason. if our little one has to leave us earlier, it's all fated. painful as it maybe, let's think positive and be thankful we had the opportunity to be a mummy to the little one, even if for just that 20 weeks or so"
I know these words cannot take away your pain. But I sincerely hope you will recover from your pain soon, in time to come. Be positive, for 乐乐 will not wish for his mummy to be in sorrow forever. He wants mummy to be happy and have other children too.
Do not blame yourself dear. Big big big hugs!!!
If you need any listening ear, do come back here, there will be lots of sisters here to encourage you.
vanilla04
Active Member
Gals, thanks for the encouragement. Really.. I really appreciate it..
I tot I'm feeling better these few days but when it comes to fri, i'll feel extremely sad cuz tat e day that lele will turn 1 week older and start a brand new week. Have new development. I'll read up the new development each week. Now I just felt there nothing for me to look forward..
So I try to have something to look forward weekly. This coming sat I'll be going to Mayday concert which was suppose to be lele's first concert. I even got those 1st row seats cuz I dun wan to be behind those standing up fans as I'll be 28 weeks by then. Everything reminds me of my dear boy.
Getting pregnant is one thing but whether anot I'm about to get pregnant is another thing. It fears me just thinking if this incident could cause any damage to my body and making hard for me to conceive again.
And if I do conceive, the overwhelming fear of losing it again.. It's so huge..
I tot I'm feeling better these few days but when it comes to fri, i'll feel extremely sad cuz tat e day that lele will turn 1 week older and start a brand new week. Have new development. I'll read up the new development each week. Now I just felt there nothing for me to look forward..
So I try to have something to look forward weekly. This coming sat I'll be going to Mayday concert which was suppose to be lele's first concert. I even got those 1st row seats cuz I dun wan to be behind those standing up fans as I'll be 28 weeks by then. Everything reminds me of my dear boy.
Getting pregnant is one thing but whether anot I'm about to get pregnant is another thing. It fears me just thinking if this incident could cause any damage to my body and making hard for me to conceive again.
And if I do conceive, the overwhelming fear of losing it again.. It's so huge..
vanilla04
Active Member
Hey Gals,
Jus wonder if you all have any gyanes to recommend?
I'm thinking of changing my Gyane. I'm with Dr Lawrence Ang currently.
I thk my condition is not 1 or 2 day thingy. Not sure if its the negligent of the gynae or what. I just felt that Dr Ang does not have the attention on his patient. I dun mean he is not good but i now feel more secure with a gyane will will spent time telling me what is what during the scan. Does the scan properly and slowly and not in a rush kind.
Dr Ang patient really alot so i dun thk i can take it for the next one.
Any recommendation?
Jus wonder if you all have any gyanes to recommend?
I'm thinking of changing my Gyane. I'm with Dr Lawrence Ang currently.
I thk my condition is not 1 or 2 day thingy. Not sure if its the negligent of the gynae or what. I just felt that Dr Ang does not have the attention on his patient. I dun mean he is not good but i now feel more secure with a gyane will will spent time telling me what is what during the scan. Does the scan properly and slowly and not in a rush kind.
Dr Ang patient really alot so i dun thk i can take it for the next one.
Any recommendation?
Hi Castiel's Mummy, I am very sorry for your lost..pls be strong..
I am currently seeing Dr Lawrence too..He is a nice gynae but bit rush type, maybe for first time mummy might feel discomfort..
My previous gynae is very good n patient..he will spend his time n talk to u, not rushing at all..He is Dr. Fong Yang at Paragon..he has a clinic at Tiong Bahru too..I didnt see him tis time round cox his charges bit expensive compare with Dr. Lawrence..Since is my #2, I got more experience when handling d prob..so i decided to change gynae..but definately he is a very nice gynae..My gf's gynae also very good n patient, u can try to do some online research..is Dr. Benjamin Tham at TMC..
Good luck n pls tk good care!!
I am currently seeing Dr Lawrence too..He is a nice gynae but bit rush type, maybe for first time mummy might feel discomfort..
My previous gynae is very good n patient..he will spend his time n talk to u, not rushing at all..He is Dr. Fong Yang at Paragon..he has a clinic at Tiong Bahru too..I didnt see him tis time round cox his charges bit expensive compare with Dr. Lawrence..Since is my #2, I got more experience when handling d prob..so i decided to change gynae..but definately he is a very nice gynae..My gf's gynae also very good n patient, u can try to do some online research..is Dr. Benjamin Tham at TMC..
Good luck n pls tk good care!!
bewildered
Member
Hi vanilla04,
My gynae's Dr L N Sim @ TMC, not too bad, calm and composed and can be trusted type, won't scare one unecessarily, scanning wise ok, not too long but not chope chope type..
Am also looking out for other gynaes too, read quite abit of gd reviews on Dr Paul Tseng, but forgot where's his clinic already..
My gynae's Dr L N Sim @ TMC, not too bad, calm and composed and can be trusted type, won't scare one unecessarily, scanning wise ok, not too long but not chope chope type..
Am also looking out for other gynaes too, read quite abit of gd reviews on Dr Paul Tseng, but forgot where's his clinic already..
Vanilla, I'm seeing dr ben tham at tmc..he is very patient and kancheong abt baby's health 1..very sayang and reassuring type; if u share with him this past painful experience, I think he will monitor more closely.
No harm seeing a few different Gynae before u decide on package next time..another I heard is gd is dr adrian Woolworth but dunno where he is
No harm seeing a few different Gynae before u decide on package next time..another I heard is gd is dr adrian Woolworth but dunno where he is
missycandy
Active Member
*big hugs vanilla* ... God will bless you again... try to be strong... yr hubby too... support one another ... im sure hb is also very upset... '
there r many other gynaes ... depends on what you really want ... i think dr ang is good for normal deliveries.. thats all ... you can try benjamin tham at tmc... jocelyn wong too .. heard good things abt her... also can consider adrian tan... i guess as long as you are comfy ... or paul tseng at tmc ... also some gynaes at tow yung clinic at tanglin ...
for now, cry if u have to, do whatever it is that will make yrself feel better... dont blame yourself... but be strong ...
actually that time when i had my #1, i was with dr ang ... one day she didnt move.. so i panic... then i went to his clinic... he hooked up ctg... then luckily everything ok.. n he reassured me ... then wk34/35 i dilated 2cm.. then he told me rest at home... says best for baby to wait until 37weeks... if not before that is premature... then wk37, he checked again.. dilated 3cm... then he asked me go admit .. that was ard 8pm ... but i went home.. had shower n just waited around... since no contraction nth.. i jus wait ... then he called me at 9pm to ask which ward im in.. i said im still at home.. then he scolded me... ask me why ? i said becos i dont feel anything.. he said by the time i feel it and go, i might deliver at home! ... so guai guai go hospital.. but i didnt give birth til next day .. zzz.. after he burst water bag ... -__________- " anyway, i heard he had bad experience before the mother want to wait. then end up i think lost the baby ....
i know its a bit what to say... but, for pregnancy, must be very kiasu.. if anything is not normal, go straight to kk or go see yr gynae... GPs are not experienced to help in any way ... doesnt matter if the nurses at the gynae clinic gets sick of u ... its for yr own baby n health... and i believe dr ang will not turn u away if u voice out any concerns ...
do take care n rest ... soon you will be blessed
there r many other gynaes ... depends on what you really want ... i think dr ang is good for normal deliveries.. thats all ... you can try benjamin tham at tmc... jocelyn wong too .. heard good things abt her... also can consider adrian tan... i guess as long as you are comfy ... or paul tseng at tmc ... also some gynaes at tow yung clinic at tanglin ...
for now, cry if u have to, do whatever it is that will make yrself feel better... dont blame yourself... but be strong ...
actually that time when i had my #1, i was with dr ang ... one day she didnt move.. so i panic... then i went to his clinic... he hooked up ctg... then luckily everything ok.. n he reassured me ... then wk34/35 i dilated 2cm.. then he told me rest at home... says best for baby to wait until 37weeks... if not before that is premature... then wk37, he checked again.. dilated 3cm... then he asked me go admit .. that was ard 8pm ... but i went home.. had shower n just waited around... since no contraction nth.. i jus wait ... then he called me at 9pm to ask which ward im in.. i said im still at home.. then he scolded me... ask me why ? i said becos i dont feel anything.. he said by the time i feel it and go, i might deliver at home! ... so guai guai go hospital.. but i didnt give birth til next day .. zzz.. after he burst water bag ... -__________- " anyway, i heard he had bad experience before the mother want to wait. then end up i think lost the baby ....
i know its a bit what to say... but, for pregnancy, must be very kiasu.. if anything is not normal, go straight to kk or go see yr gynae... GPs are not experienced to help in any way ... doesnt matter if the nurses at the gynae clinic gets sick of u ... its for yr own baby n health... and i believe dr ang will not turn u away if u voice out any concerns ...
do take care n rest ... soon you will be blessed
vanilla04
Active Member
I'm considering Benjamin tham. Heard lots of good feedback abt him..
Paul Tseng, I thk out of My budget.. I thk his charges r on e high side tho I read quite good review on him too,
As for Dr Ang, actually he said he called me 4 times tat day aft I called him n inform my situation. When he reach tmc he said he called me 4 tines and waited till 930am. I mean im sorry for letting him wait so long but i really recevied his call. But my phone never rang or no miss call at all. So I oso dunno if he really called or he got e wrong number.
Paul Tseng, I thk out of My budget.. I thk his charges r on e high side tho I read quite good review on him too,
As for Dr Ang, actually he said he called me 4 times tat day aft I called him n inform my situation. When he reach tmc he said he called me 4 tines and waited till 930am. I mean im sorry for letting him wait so long but i really recevied his call. But my phone never rang or no miss call at all. So I oso dunno if he really called or he got e wrong number.
piggy_peggy
New Member
Hi all, may I ask if any of you have done acupuncture before?
What are the effects of acupuncture so far?
Any success stories? Pregnancy? Or better troops? Etc?
Which part of the body was poked by needles?
Would really appreciate your sharing.
What are the effects of acupuncture so far?
Any success stories? Pregnancy? Or better troops? Etc?
Which part of the body was poked by needles?
Would really appreciate your sharing.
olivia2012
Member
Vanilla, so sorry to hear about your loss. I am silently tearing in front of my computer now in the office. =(
We were ttc-mates back in the days..and I was so glad to see many of our mates finally conceiving, so I seldom check back this thread. Actually i think we conceived around the same time, i'm 29 weeks now. So sad to know you lost Castiel in such a way. But please don't feel guilty. Take time to grief and rest well. Hope you can find a reason to smile and be happy very soon!
Hugs
We were ttc-mates back in the days..and I was so glad to see many of our mates finally conceiving, so I seldom check back this thread. Actually i think we conceived around the same time, i'm 29 weeks now. So sad to know you lost Castiel in such a way. But please don't feel guilty. Take time to grief and rest well. Hope you can find a reason to smile and be happy very soon!
Hugs