(2011/05) May 2011

split - what?? maid has to power of forcing 20mths todderls??? Tell u, if I were u, I will screw her upside down on her face!! For me, I always tell my maid, when I'm not home, she has to treat my gal as young mam. Anything she not sure, call me. Phone is always there ready for her to make calls to me or my hb, don't give me excuses of "I dunno", "I'm not sure this is correct or wrong"..ASK whenever she is not sure, don't assume things.



And I don't allow her screaming at my gal. I told her if she wants respect from young children, she better treat them equally like her employer. Coz when she first came, she has problem with my gal. And I received phone calls fr my gal complaining the maid. Fr the phone call, background my maid screaming denying what my gal is saying. So when I reached home, I sit down with 2 of them to clear the dispute and realised my maid wanna do her own way where my gal already used to the old method which we carried out day and day.

So, I ask the maid simple question..who shd follow whose instruction and she being new to this household, if she wanna implement new rule to my gal, shd she talk to me first? or just scream at my gal to follow her way? I said by screaming she will not gain respect and my gal behave very rebelious to her instead!



And best, my gal very fierce also, tell her to pack her stuffs, mummy gonna send her back tonite whenever they argue..faint

 


i just stared at her and she know im not happy..dont really know how to scold her..anyway me and hubby suspect she have been ill treating our dogs cuz we notice 1 of our dog superb scare of her..and will alway run to us if we are around and she get near him..sign..i very scare of changing maid..gd maid usually like dont work long for us cuz they alway request for sunday off..den all the bad maid give me night mate and i got very panic easily due to this pregnancy..cant seem to control myself..will burst into tears over small matters..

 
apple my son was holding the fries when my maid just drag his hand and put the fries into his mouth..i dont think need much strength..after that i tell her how can she feed a baby chilli..den she just smile and laugh..i was angry den she just said sorry smiling..

 
split - Don't let her smile and say sorry so simple! Tell her, do u think u like if I force u to eat something u cannot eat or dislike?

Give her warning, giving chilli to young children is equal to ill-treat them. U can report this case to authority. Must let them know the weight of mistake.

 
yaer: You on smaller size ah? My bb weighed 1.4kg at 28 weeks on Monday too and my gynae din say anything abt c-sec...



split: My husband told me that i should be the one to handle the maid's issues but if he were to step in, then it means the issue has turned into a big thing so perhaps u can ask your hb to help you in this? I think she quite guo fen lor...

 
hannah i let my hubby handle the maid issue now cuz i serious lack of patience during my this round of pregnancy..im very emotional and got upset easily..

 
Hello mummies, I have turned to silent reader for awhile. :p



Maid - I have a maid for 3.5 yr and she went back last yr March. We dun hv many complains abt her cos I find that she is ok and always does things automatically. I just close one eye and open one eye on certain things she does. I am thinking of getting her back but we lost her contact. After hearing so many stories abt bad maids, I guess I dun hv that gd luck to get a good one again. Now I wonder if I can cope with 2 kids. Prehaps I will get a part time maid and see how things goes.

 
vv & all mummies : i'm so busy with my works... faintz...



vv : i've checked with my maid agent that salary is between employer and the maid.. then the agent told me that it's indonesia who make the pay rise and not s'pore here..

 
so long thread about bad maids. I am so worried too. Thinking of getting one since mil might come to help take care of bb next time but on certain days, maid might be alone or go other relatives' house.



The Indo maids are asking for $450 now. Some agencies I called are not having any database, heard April 1, they will confirm to adjust salary and agencies are holding on to the database n nt releasing details.

 
split: Sounds like a good idea...



melody110: I'm also a bit worried about having to cope with 2 kids on my own but i think i'd rather be stressed up in that way than to keep having to counter all the funny stuff she does...

 
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Thanks and wishing everyone a smooth pregnancy! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Split

Wah, if my maid ever does this to my boy, I wil screw her upside down loh. Tat day she used her own pocket money to buy my kitchen cloth w/o asking me if I need any new cloth. Best part is, there is still one more pc of kitchen cloth there to be used. I dun understand why she needs to buy. So I told her, she doesnt know what type of cloth I need. And she shouldnt make decisions on her own to buy whatever she likes, especially using her OWN money buy my house thing??? Its like this house belongs to her like that.



You have to firm to your maid like what Apple said. House has house rules; just like our company also have own rules & regulations ma. You have to give her a piece of your mind; the next time she does it again. Else she thought u dun mind her "PLAYING" your kid, man!



Apple

I agree with you! My boy also very fierce to my maid which is better. Sometimes he even slapped her when she refused sth to him. Of course, I will scold my boy for this cos its too rude to slap an adult. I even made him apologize. However, on the other hand - I felt that Im assured cos I know my boy wont be tortured by my maid. Its the other way round. Heeheee... And I hate maids telling me, "I dunno"... To me, dunno then ASK. Dun pretend to know or assume, then act smart alec.



Dolly

Yes, the increase between current maid & employer. Its Indo la, cos they bey song Singapore now le. They wanna refrain their pple to come to Singapore, instead encourage them to other countries cos more freedom and all. For us now, in Singapore - we are left with not much choices. My fren asks me to consider Myanmar cos they are cheaper. Well, I will have a harder time man! Speaking English is alrdy the biggest barrier to this Myanmar pple. Sianz. Now, I am quite LOST.



Dun stress yeah, once a while come in to chat a while.

 
Hi,



Been MIA for a long time, just came back from gynae visit. BB weighing 1.4Kg at wk28. Dr Paul comment it's abit big.. but said nothing abt C-Sect too..



Btw I think i am suffering from PUPPs.. all body covered with ugly red dots and scars now.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Hope all will go away after delivery.

 
melody110, sometimes by getting old maid back after awhile also at risk. I also thinking of getting my old maid back, but since she already left us for 1 year..things might change on her end.



Hannah - u gonna be SAHM, by having part time maid maybe twice a week shd help out quite a fair bit.

 
vv - 2 of my colleagues recently sent off Myanmar maid. All got attitude & hygiene plus communication prob!

My gal's CC principle also sent of 22 Myanmar, 1 even on police case coz she add something on their shower gel, also use hot boiling water making milk to her 5yo kid!!

After hearing all these, I dare not even try Myanmar. I'm not sure soon we will get ppl from Cambodia & Vietnam coz now MY has some of these nationality came in as domestic helper after Indon govt banned their ppl entering MY.

 
Alicia: I kenna PUPPP for #1 also. Super itchy lor!!! Had to use cetaphil to bathe and also to get the cetaphil moisturiser to use. The skin specialist i went to also gave me some purple crystals to bathe in and after a few weeks, things got better. Maybe can go see doctor abt it....



apple: Ya, i think i'll just do that. But let's see how she responds to my feedback and directives...

 
Hi Hannah,



I have seen a doc. But the shower foam not much use leh.. I am now using moisturiser after each bath.. Hopefully things will turn better.. Had this for more than 1 mth le.. So Xinku..[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Can't sleep at night.

 
vv,

why sian?? coz of the wait for the result or coz of ur maid??

hahaha. ur boy also knows how to be fierce to ur maid. gd le as ur maid knows she cant bully him if nt she will get it =P



split,

ur maid v daring huh? Sir ard she still like tat and can laugh when ur boy cries, if me. i sure will k her upside dwn.



yaer,

mayb u take ur gynae's advise into consideration but cont to monitor the baby growth. if closer to delivery ur baby still consider big size n ur gynae still advise to go for c-sect to minimise risks then i feel u sld trust his expertise...



apple,

hahaha! gd ur gal is fierce enuff to handle ur maid! i like her style! hehehe.



dolly,

hw cum suddenly so busy? covering ur colleagues? clear as much as u can ba but dun overwk ho. if needed, just take a break.



hannah,

ya. i agree it wldnt be easy having to cope with 2 kids but I rather dun employ a maid and have add on problems...this is also why my parents do not wan us to get a maid as well to help out aft #2 as no one wanna houses the maid too!



alicia,

mayb diff ppl diff size so to some baby 1.1kg may sound big while to some may nt be lo.

did u mentioned abt the itch to ur gynae? PUPPs is actually 1 of the most common of all preg skin conditions but in some cases it cld be due to liver condition which is a cause of concern le.

 
Hannah,



Me should be normal size ba... but cos my 1st time pregnancy is c-section and my 2nd one is consider above average mah... so if were to natural is consider 1st time... scare the labour might be too long and the risk of wound rupture will increase... will casue alot of complications not onli to me but to baby oso... my gynae got 1 case is like tat loh... the bb turn out need to be taken care of forever...

 
Alicia: Haiz... Can understand what you're going through... It will pass (fortunately!)...



Va|: If you stay near your parents or have a car then that's good lor... The prob is that we stay sengkang, they're in bedok, then no car means have to cab there. Super inconvenient... Then we're not willing to buy car also coz it's machiam like throwing money on the road. Bo bian lor...

 
Hi Val,



My gynae knows abt the itch, he told me I have

to endure lo.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Re:Maids

I also sian.. my maid very sensitive.. yesterday i just ask her not to feed my son with so much food cos he vomitted at night. Tis morning i saw her with super swollen eyes..Everytime we say something to her.. next day we will see her swollen eyes. so Sian!!! if it's not she never ill-treated my #1, I would want to change her long time ago. Keep showin us this kinda of pathetic looks as if we ill-treat her..haiz..

 
i swear it's all my husband's fault... (mumble) If only he agrees to think abt selling off the flat and we stay near his parents or mine... (grumble...)

 
hannah,

hahaha! go n talk to him abt moving near either set of parents again??

Yes, its gd to stay near parents...nt tog but near is gd enuff.



Alicia,

oh. okok. So ur gynae knows then at least its nt any serious prob other than hormones went haywired and causing all the probs. No choice, just hope it will go off quickly. I had it for a full 1 mth aft i delivered my #1 coz my hormones went haywired...really nthing much except to ren ren and ren!

 
yaer - I also have intention to go VBAC at first, but after knowing the seriousness of wound rupture and so on..I think I gotta bite along with expensive c-sec for #2 :p



Alicia - When my maid first came, the 1st month whenever I question her or point out her mistake, she will drop tears infront of me! Until 1 fine day, I cannot take it anymore I tell her my house is not sympathy home and I'm not here to see her dropping tears whenever making mistake. And I gave her hot shot remarks that dropping tears is a bad sign of chinese family, kinda like funeral home! better drop this idea.



Val - I think my gal qualified to be "young mam" sometimes she is very stern to my maid. That day when my maid spill my birdnest and dong cong cau, my gal gave her good lesson before I came home..I learnt about their conversation thru my CCTV :p and I was LOL in my room and show my hb that very nite how my gal scolded the maid.

1st she demanded apologise fr the maid by spilling the birdnest, then she tell the maid u know this is very expensive and mummy spent a lot of $$ buying? U pay me back fr your salary..my gosh!!! I have never thought of that extend k..

 
Val

Both lor... But anyway, just have to go thru no matter what happens... Now, take a step @ a time. How's your work?



Apple

Your gal so cute. This time round, I intend to try Phil maid (those fresh maids) come from Kampong PLUS abit Sua Koo de. Can speak English with my boy. W/O Off Days. What do u think?

 
vv - my advise is don't take Phil kampung maid..or else u will vomit blood when u communicate with them. Their English will make u and ur boy confused..haha

U can try to get those experience from middle east or at least work in Phil/Manila as domestic helper before. My maid was ex-Kuwait, 5yrs experience came here also no off days.

 
Apple

Oh OKOK, so means better get those got working experience de? My fren told me her Phil maid work as security guard before (yea, woman work as security guard at Phil). No experience in hsework. So far OK lah. Which agent did u take that has Phil maids w/o off days?

 
vv - I think most of the new comers to SG are without off day but gotta pay them $20 more on top of salary.

I have interviewed those really new maid from Phil, English cannot make it ler..even now my maid consider her Eng quite good still they pronunciation is different fr us for us words. My gal rather confused sometimes when she read her stories.

 
apple,

hahaha! sometimes kids do surprise us with their words dun they =) just tat, where did she learn and tell the maid she will have to pay back thro her salary? hehehe. and wat was ur maid response?



is gd she is stern la as she can also helps to keep an eye on ur maid when u arent ard and she can gain some exp on how to handle maid if she do get a maid herself in future in her household. =P



vv,

ya, no matter wat have to go thro. just bear with it for the time being =)



Today has been a mad rush! i havent had time to tabao my lunch so just grab watever biscults n snacks available in the pantry...shall have a better dinner aft wk later =P

 
Val

Ops!!! Must eat well okie. Remember to drink more water thru out the day even though BUSY.



Apple

Just found out from my fren; Indo maid loan period is still long, this time stretch to 9 mths or even 11 mths. Phil maid loan is only between 6 to 7 mth; depends which maid we take.

 
Hannah, true loh, ur maid is realy too much. My former maid asked me to give her off day only after 2 yr but we did not agree, as for HP we agree to it eventually and told her that she can only use it after she complete her work. But we found her using it while my boy was napping, nvm lah as long as she does her work. So scare to get a bad maid in the end I got to stress over the maid and my new born.



Apple, I also scare that my former maid will change, now that we couldn't find her maybe it is a blessing in disguise.

 
Wow Val - no lunch?? I think now I cannot do away bfast & lunch.



Hmm..I really dunno where she learnt and demanded the maid to pay back fr her salary. Probably sch coz the principle maid is always following her to sch..coz I never impose salary deduction on my maid throughout these yrs.



vv - Yes, I find the longer the loan period, it gets very unhealthy to the maid coz they r not motivated to work. Who wanna work without pay rite?? Y Phil maid loan shorter is bcoz they draw higher salary. My maid is $400+$20. So her loan only 6 months.

The previous maid who steal and seeing man, when police and embassy interview her at agency she also mentioned she work without pay, that's y she steal $$ to buy hp and so on..

 
vv,

thanks! ya, will have a better dinner later to make up for the rubbish i took earlier. hahaha! ya, i took alot of water today till i keep wanting to go to the loo. hahaha.

Now finally settled my urgent stuffs so feeling so much better =) cant wait to knock off =)



apple,

no choice coz rushing for wk and i think coz of the stress and also the mad rush hence I dun feel like eating. i dun even feel hungry lo. I still took some intakes la just that is nt healthy food =/ i think i will start to feel hungry liao since nw i am more relax after clearing my things =P

 
Apple

Yes I agree. And now, I realised that all maids the same. Work long liao after loan paid off, wanna ask for HP. Yesterday night, my maid asked to buy HP just to sms. She said she can SMS once a month. I asked her back, how frequent she called home now. She answered once a week. So I told her, since she called home once a week, its not possible for her to only SMS/CALL once a month anymore. Then she diam diam but bey happy liao. So in the night chatted with her Mom using IDD Card. This morning, I asked if hows her discussion wz her Mom. She told me no extension.



So damn sian of all these maids. Do u mind PM me your maid contact & agency fee which had Phil maids W/O off Days?

 
Val

Heeheee... Must take good care of yourself ok. Dun Stress HOR. For me, I am trying not to stress. Too many at one GO. Hopefully all these will pass quickly.

 
val : haiz... after came back from a long break, backload and reports piles up... my buddy didn't even help me with the filing, incoming mails and .... sian...

 
vv : do you know now my maid asked my hb to buy a used laptop for her... she said it's for her daughter... she really know how to take advantage when my hb's home..

 
vv - my maid also expect me to release her hp to her after 6mths. I don't think I'll let her have it back after 6mths. I'll probably release back to her later stage when bb is older.



I have PM u [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] good luck!!

 
vv,

ya. will take care of myself so i can take care of korkor n meimei. haahaa. Ya, sometimes really too many things happening at 1 go really can stress me up. At work i stress over wk...at hm i stress over my boy coz he has been resisting going to sch for last n this week ever since the cny break...and also everything also mummy this mummy tat...even my mum cant handle him..haiz...no peace both at hm and at wk! hahahaha.



dolly,

*hug* ur buddy too busy with his/her own wk or wat?

u just try ur best to finish those urgent de as much as u can ba.

 
Dear Val, thank for your info! Previously I use the medala sing electric pump. Cause my cousin lend to me, but I return her liao. So I intend to buy one, but not to sure which is better. Any recommendation! Thanks

 
val : don't know what to describe her.. she's a market spoiler.. she work from 9am to 10pm daily.. she come back to work when she's on leave.. she's a m'sian with no family commitment..

 
Dolly

Wah lao!!! Your maid is absurd lor.

My previous maid secretly used my PC to access FB... Haz. Then your HB must be firm lah. Issit because she agreed to extend, so chut pattern liao?



Apple

Wat??!! 6mths after the loan finished. But hor if u dun release after 6mths passed, dunno how she will react. Thats the problems wz maid when we need them to look after infants/toddlers. They always take for granted & advantage.



Thanks for yr contacts [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Val

Same here. Suddenly my boy told my maid that he doesnt like her anymore. Then this morning also started to bawl so loud when I left him @ CC to work. Felt so sad. Its been so long since he stopped crying @ cc liao.

 
vv - No prob, I just change maid lo coz by then I'm on ML [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] I don't get threaten by maid..I don't mind training maid during my ML too [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] hehe

 
Apple

Ok lah, at least u had some plans already. Train maids during ML ok. I trained my 1st maid during my ML too during #1. So far, my 1st maid is the best. But too bad, she missed home - her daughter [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
vv : i'm shock when my hb told me that... he's home coz no one bring & fetch my girl frm cc.. so he told me he dont wanna stay @ home le... i'm going to question her on her pay day...

 
Dolly

I think your maid thought yr HB easy to bully or give in. Maybe you should talk to your maid tonight and not wait till payday. Becos such issues, need to resolve ASAP since its her request.

 
hannah, think if your maid doesn't improve within a week, you change maid. Better do it fast before baby comes. It's really difficult these days to get maids to come in.



I also never take ex-Singapore or ex-HK maids.



Good luck! I have lousy experiences with maids too. One even ran away, went to complain to MOM (for no good reason) all coz she didn't want to go back to the agency and still owes her loan. MOM found no case against me and at MOM maid still dare to cry and hug me to beg for forgiveness - after all the trouble she made.



Am awaiting my new maid now and can't wait to send my current maid packing coz of many experiences with her and my kid. Makes me not trust her too.

 
Emily

Sorry to hear abt your bad experiences too. For me; I also thought this time round, 3rd maid should be not bad. But realised she started writing "I miss you", "I want you, do u miss me?"... on a notebook written by her. So I do stopped and wondered - what kind of maid shoudl we exactly get. Married or Single ones? Older or young ones? I think Older one is more mature; probably less wild. I think only. Si bey sian. Now suddenly apple reminded me something. If now I employ Phil maid, Phil maid asks for HP after loan finishes, then how? Haz.... Alot depends on LUCK in employing maids...

 


i will advise not to take ex-hk or ex-sing..they too act smart and like to compare..i have 1 ex-hk b4 tell me she know everything than in the end everything also dunnu, very lazy and alway said how gd her ex employer dun care..her ex-eployer nv said need to separate kids wear and we are so troublesome need to separate washing for kids and adult clothing..



i guess really gotta close 2 eyes at times if not really will keep changing maid..i change maid till i very scare 1 yr change like 3 to 4 maids..2 of them requested for off day on sunday and ask for transfer after we rejected the request..1 run away after my hubby caught her hugging out block cleaner down stair the void deck..another 1 went crazy and turn violent after we tell her not to alway use her phone..she got her hp ear piece in her ear almost 24/7 and alway talking on the phone and smsing..i really dun understand how she got so much money to call..



and now..this maid with us 3 mths 1st mth said wanna meeting aunty pass her money, 2mth said wanna meet aunty for lunch despite she got no off day and yet we allow the 2nd time..den she said wanna meet brother to pass something to him and took like 3 hrs to come back..after that said wanna go void deck to have some peace and another 3 hrs and evenually admit she meet guy..give chilli to my son..and now im in dillema to change maid but phobia on maid changing so tot wanna tong a little while more since she can do house work..sigh..if only i dont have to work and can stay at home all this will not be a problem..

 
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