(2011/05) May 2011

serene, understand how u feel... during my marriage for 10yrs, we always struggle which side to go for eve of reunion dinner.. my hubby's side will not give in and said tat after marriage, shd take male's side under 1st consideration... luckily my parent's side are more understanding.. my famiy will arrange on another date (they dun want me to rush here and there esp now got kid) and not conflict with them... either we eat lunch and eat dinner over at their side or we eat sat and they eat on sun... i guess you will need to discuss w yr famiy members 1st (personally i think own family members more easy to discuss) whether date/time can change and discuss w yr hubby tat it's a special date and u will like to be w both sides and willingly to open to any suggestions.. no point quarreling over this every yr it will be the same thing again and again lor... hope u will resolve peacefully w them... cheer up.. no stress .. no good for yr bb.... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 


val,



he wants 2 different day..



auroa,



the prob is he irritated mi by saying nasty comments which make mi so angry.. tt i dun feel like changing the date...

 
val, mine is a scheduled induce.. put in med in the morning and expected to diluate in the afternoon.. i even went for a walk and hve lunch before coming back to the clinic and nurses strapped me down to monitor the bb's heartbeat and noticed that the contraction hve started and within a few mins too.. quickly they asked me to admit in (tat time was ard 4pm ++_) and said tat i will pop by 7pm++.. so happy and after tat found out tat the contractions timing dragged far apart.. false contractiona alarm and my gynae dun allow me to discharge as contractions hve started and i hve diluated 1cm.. my hubby also against the idea too and scared in the middle of the nite need rush me to hospital.. waited till next morning, still 1cm diluated tat gynae inserted another med.. i think after i surrender to take the epidural, the diluation seems to be faster and i pop ard 11pm++... so hungry and after they send me up to the ward, i asked for food [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
serene,

at least try suggesting this to ur hb ba. at least can eat properly, no need to rush and have ample time at both side. no harm asking him if he ok. if he not ok then think again lo...

 
auroa,

oh. okok. i was 2/3cm dilated already 3days before the induced but 3days later when i admit, i was still 2/3cm dilated. hahaha.



too bad already on drip so also cant discharge...while on drip, i actually dun feel any contractions lo...although the monitor shows that i am having contraction...so gynae says burst water bag will be faster...before i can say "ok" he already bursted it liao. hahaha.



so u see la, i have a few pieces of biscults n milo how to last me the whole day esp my appetite then was v gd lo. hehehe.



this time rd, i wan all natural if possible...i dun wan to be induced and i dun wan them to burst my water bag..

 
val,



that was my initial plan and he rejected... there is no room for negotiation.. he sent the msg across to mi is to change date and not timing...

 
serene,



for me my mom side oso quite chin chai, she don cook n go my aunt hse for reunion dinner (my aunt got no hubby). so i can go hubby side eat and tat is every yr.....



ya, per auroa suggestion, mayb speak to ur parents 1st? is this ur 1st yr of marriage tats y gt this issue?



tell ur hubby u need to respect ur parents as much as he need to respect his.



for 1 thing i've learnt, everytime gt any issue i wanna settle quick, i will talk to both mil n hubby at the same time. and before hand muz teach my hubby wat to say n let him know my idea, if not always he say opp things in my wish. and with this, mil will always say " anything / ok lor" in front of my hubby n i. n i take that answer as final.



if not last time, she will say 1 thing in front of us n then phycho my hubby her idea behind my back. so i learnt to say n settle things in front of both of them. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
serene,

hmmm...to make things less ugly, mayb u try to have dinner with ur parents the day before cny eve???

mayb ur hb feels tat as an only child, he sld be ard for his parents so he feels bad if he reject their request lo.

when he cools dwn or in future, mayb u can suggest to him to have dinner on alt yr as in 1 yr his side, 1 yr ur side on eve...



Sh,

i agree. best is to have both hb and mil tog when wanna discuss something...at least there is always a witness...so if mil twist her words, hb will know...

 
Serene:-

Urs was abt the case as mine loh, my family side now decided to look after me, while my in-laws & husband still calculative. But urs is a easier case..



Don't make any harsh decision while u r at anger, becos now u keep thinking of the sentence ur husband said.

 
Sh..



it is not my 1st year of marriage.. all the while was ok.. suddenly this year.. he chu pattern..



my mum is chin chai..but dunno y this year my father also strong headed and dun want to change..

 
val,



now is my hubby no matter wat will side his mum and both go against mi.. i always got scolded for nothing.. now i really hope tt he can faster fly back..



he even tell mi last mth tt i must bring my boy go back to his mum place more often.. i am like.. come on..ur mum travel to my place is so much easier than i bring all the stuff to ur mum place... i have no car and no hubby to help...



kaykay,



my hubby is not tt like lei.. suddenly change overnight.. i noe something is not wrong..



Sh,



now the prob is i dun like to talk to my mil..another issue is her memory is failing.. wat we say..she kept forget..then say we got tell her meh? then brush off the matter...



few days back, she left a bucket of water at the door.. i think is wanna go out water the plant.. then forgot abt it totally and went to sleep..i showed my hubby..he nvr say anything.. wat if someone came back and knock down the bucket of water??

 
serene,

hahahah! i know hw u feel coz sometimes i also look fwd to my hb's overseas trips so i have some "peace". hahaha. okok, this aside, i think ur hb in a difficult position also coz he is the only child lo...even my hb is nt the only child (he still has a younger sis), sometimes he also feel v bad rejecting his mum and esp if his sis keep nagging at him...nw just solve this yr issue first ba...the rest think later...

 
val,



i also wanna solve for this year only.. but he set the rule tt this arrangement will applies from now onwards..



suddenly i felt tt i dun understand my hubby after this incident.

 
serene,

can always discuss again when both sides have cool dwn. Nw he also feeling hot, so v hard to get the things across to him as he will stick to his stand aft the nasty exchanges of words....

 
val,



i just msg him tt next few years, we will also not stay in ur mum place after reunion dinner.. baby needs to go home n sleep as well as feeding..



morn msg mi says if his parent is not staying together, he will ask his mum to move ard to our new house..i set my rules early.. his mum is the type die die must close window n door 24h.. i am the type that must open it.. i doubt she can follow..



now ask mi to give up my baby room for his mum.. put my baby in the study room..he can go to an extent for his beloved mum..

 
val,



no use de.. his mind is firm.. is either change date or dun go over for reunion dinner..



no room for bargain.. he just want n feel tt my father should give in to him..

 
sh, me 2 also practise the same approach.. anything will settle in front of hubby and inlaws.. my mil also the same type, infront said never mind, everything ok but at the back will complain to my sil and hubby and said "why i so like tat and this and tat" sort of things..



val, me 2 also looks fwd to my hubby's overseas duties.. at least i hve some peace and quiet in the house... ya, me 2 also hope not to be induce this time round.. let's hope we can do away w the induce [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



serene, last time my hubby also everything ok but after we hve kid, he seems to accomodate whatever his parent asked/demands for and even said tat i'm making things diffcult for him... dun know whether it's the kid tat change the situation or the character change... but i also make it clear to my hubby that there are some boundries tat cannot be cross.. if they dare to cross it, i wun be ke qi lor..

 
*Pre-Order* Effective Post Natal slimming Cream & Body Line Corset!!!

I am using it myself and I find it very effective.

anyone wan to order do pm me or e-mail me at

[email protected]







♥♥♥Thank You♥♥♥



[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/3877999/5068552.jpg][IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/3877999/5068553.jpg]

 
serene, understand how u feel.. i told my hubby tat CNY day 1, go back to his parent house and later need to bring bb back for nap then woke up then visit his uncles/aunties... my hubby so mad bcos his parent feels otherwise and he even said tat bb sleeps all the time, so no matter where also can sleep... he dun understand tat bb got to rest and too much simulation will makes it worse for bb... so day 1 whole day visiting and in the end bb at nite so cranky.. i throw to him and ask him to settle... in the end, he so stressed out just to calm the bb down... in the end, i took over and patted bb to sleep... he's the one who demands it and will need to answer for the consquences.. even my girl sick or down with high fever, he also wants to bring my girl back to his parent house... said tat once a week only see once.. i told him tat my girl needs to rest and he said go there she also can rest... in the end, in the middle of the nite, my girl temp went up to 39.. woke him up and he just sat at the corner of the bed.. my girl doesn't wants him to carry and whole nite hve to care for her.. after tat, my hubby knows tat sick/high fever, no going out, etc... sometimes i feel tat hubby got "itchy backside" lor.. got to experience liao then know the consquences lor..

 
auroa,



he always feel that he should protect his mum no matter wat..cos they been thru the hardship together.. (the hardship is the father has mistress, nvr support the family, nvr pay bill and electricity got cut).. sorry to b mean, his mum nvr work since my hubby is born, only work as sch bus aunt earning $500p/mth, says supporting both of them..



now he has the ability, he has to take care of his mum well..

 
auroa,



i think it will applies to my hubby too.. his thinking is actually the same as ur hubby.. initially i ask him dun need to come back for my delivery.. now i encourage him to fly back twice and go thru delivery n confinement with mi.. he kept thinking that taking newborn baby is not tough, there is no such thing call post natal depression (is all fr the mum's mind)..



i also wanna him to experience the tough time.. e sleepless night, the cause of crying and b appreciative of wat my parents will be doing for him..

 
serene, ya, dun know why men thinks hving bb so easy and looking after them is like a breeze.. it's lots of hard work, attention and full blast energy required. my hubby can tell me if need help, can ask his mum over but hor, if need help, must see who 1st mah... my mil and me are the type tat dun clicks and it's like 2 planets clashing together... if i need help, i rather ask fr my family side.. my hubby said tat i baised.. i taked to him, he also dun understand... i agree tat hubby needs to go thru the same process as mummy so tat they will apprecciate the mummy and bb more...

 
auroa,



i agreed with u totally.. my hubby coming back in jun to jul for 1 mth vacation.. will b bringing baby back to his house..



he nvr think whether baby can adapt to new environment..my house is super noisy and his house is quiet to the max.. a lot of stuff to move here n there..



i am a new mum.. his mother will b working..only left 3 of us at home..if anything goes wrong, still got to call my mum for help..he thinks crying is just hunger only.. there might b a lot of causes and only experience can tell..



let him think highly n greatly of himself.. let baby defeat him..haha

 
serene, i think bcos he thinks tat his side can do the job bah... it's just wat my hubby said "if my side can do the job well, his side also can"... i wun be surprised if he ask his mum to quit his job to look after both of u... that's wat happen to my sister... lots of conflicts between them lor but my sister is tat type tat can really put up w it.. for me, i think i will go mad liao..

 
auroa,



his mum tested water on him..ask him whether she can quit her job when she noe i am preg..



my hubby said u have nothing to do at home, might as well go n work to kill time..



its hard for her not to work cos my fil dun give allowance to her (in huge debt), she pays for all house utilites fee..currently my hubby only giving her $500 a mth..



next time my hubby has higher expenditure fr house, car, baby.. dun think will give her any higher amt.. at most to the previous $700 monthly..



i will go head to head with her if she wanna take care of my baby.. the thing i hate her most is she also act pitiful which gives my hubby the feeling n impression tt i am bullying her...

 
hey mummies, i'm back... so busy the whole morning..



auroa : hey, hope you are alrite... try to be more careful... i've a fall in my MIL's place on my previous preg.. it's @ the toilet.. i was so panicked & worried coz my bum went straight down to the floor... so worried that i would MC... but lucky me, bb moves when i talked to her...



serene : cool down 1st and try to talk to him again... most of the times, we are always accommodating and give in even though we'll get scolding from our own parents...

 
Serene: Seems like something has happened since you mentioned that your hb was never like that previously. I think both of you need to sit down and discuss abt what's going on. Like why is he so adamant abt wanting you to go over to stay at MIL's for the whole day. I mean, other than the fact that by right most male side expect the daughter-in-law to go to their side for reunion dinner, is there another reason since it was fine during previous years.



Perhaps he might be willing to listen to how you feel if you listen to his difficulties first. Just a suggestion.... Hope you 2 work this out soon. And better to talk face-to-face hor. Or else sms can become misread at times...

 
Serene/ auroa:- Yah loh, pity us having 'pretencious' MIL & husband stands on his side of family. Husband always thinks that if he can communicate well with his mum/dad, why can't we??

Sometimes its about communicating probs.. We don't like/seldom talk to them & prefer to get help from our side of family becos we felt closer & less PS. Its becos we have been living since young with out family. Vice visa, our husband thinks we shld get help from his parents becos he has been living with his parents for yrs & depend on them since young. He can & expect that we will be able to do it easily also..



Every family bound to have issues de lah, eventually is up to u what u want & how u handle & solve it, either in the peaceful way/ugly way..

 
Dolly,



Dun need to cool down..either change date or dun eat..now trying to talk to my father lo..



Hannah,



We talk face to face yesterday night.he gave mi a disappointed face when I said my father want reunion dinner on cny eve. Tot everythin discussed n settled Liao..



Kay Kay,



I agree with u..my hubby even bring out wat if ur son treat u like tt..eat at ur house then rush off to wife side?I replied him I m ok n understanding as I believe reunion dinner should eat on e same day.

 
Auroa,



Kept complaining,forgot to ask whether u r ok..



Now I felt my boy can understand mi..he Noe tt mummy is not happy..he kept movin ard n kickin mi..somehow makes mi relieved n cheer up slightly.

 
Serene, U probably wanna suggest to do it alternate year? If this yr u stay at his parents place for CNY eve reunion, next yr he has to go to your parents place? I have set this rule fr the beginning..we will rotate. So far my inlaws has no prob with that.



Also, don't put your mind on post-natal blues and so on. It is not a good sign..

U shd think to be more independent, all prob will solve eventually. Imagine those foreign talent who work in SG, gave birth here without any parents/inlaws support, they still need to survive rite? U shd be blessed that your parents are here to help u but pls don't depends on them. This will help u mentally to be strong to face and bring up your bb.

 
Auroa - gosh, lucky u cushion your tum tum with your palm, but pls apply some oilment on your palm to soothe the pain ya..or else it will hurt further.

 
Apple,



I understand..I m learning e rope in taking care of baby in e soonest possible way. At least my parent is there to guide mi..



his current thinking is traditionally n morally we should stay in male side..all e while is after his side,go to my side..no issue de..bring up e issue their parent only have 1 children..my side has 3..minus mi off,still have two..he cant blame mi..wanna blame also should b e mum who cant bear him siblings..mayb I will ask can rotate..

 
Serene, we count ourselves lucky in this generation where we can still opt to go back to our parents place. Imagine our mum's era, they have to be at inlaws place and only 3rd day then can go back to visit their own parents or relatives.



In fact, my fren told me she has to have reunion dinner with her parents & siblings 1 week before CNY. Basically eve & 1st day of CNY she has to "glue" at inlaws place eventhough nothing much she can do there with her kids. So she just bring some games to play with the kids or watching tv lo. The hb got 3 siblings all boy, so she said all DIL & grandchildren are back to inlaws place, she can't be the special one. After yrs she learnt to accept, so now it is like a norm to her and she just live with it.

She just told me 2 days ago, the feeling of CNY make her so sien but positive way is to think that inlaws also old already they also wish to see all their children and grandchildren to be together once a year during festive.

 
serene/apple/dolly, i fine now.. just that the palm slightly bruised... can use what to apply? aloe vora gel?

 
Hi Mummies to be,



Organic Red Raspberry leaf, also known to herbalist as Hindberry, wild red raspberry, reapberry is often taken as a warm tea beverage. It is one of the more commonly used natural food for pregnant ladies to prepare their bodies in their very late stage of pregnancy to prepare for childbirth as it tones the uterine muscle preparing it for the intense contraction during childbirth.



Baby Dust Shop is strictly selling loose pack from Starwest Botanical Organic Red Raspberry Leaf that is grown in Croatia and is repacked in foodgrade sealed bags.



It is strictly advisable to check with your doctor before any consumption during pregnancy.



PRICES:

100 grams pack: SGD$6.00 (inclusive of normal mail postage within Singapore)

454 grams pack: SGD$27.00 (inclusive of normal mail postage within Singapore)



Pre-Order may be required depending on availability of stock.



Contact us at [email protected] for any queries or orders.



Visit http://babydustshop.blogspot.com/2010/11/organic-red-raspberry-leaf.html

 
Auroa,

do take care & be more careful... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Serene,

understand ur situation, reunion dinner is kinda difficult if both sides wan it to b on actual day.. n ur hubby seems to b unwilling to "cooperate" but stil can try to talk him round after u both cool down.. dun get upset /angry, no good for bb.. mayb like wat the rest say, try to reach a compromise with ur hubby instead of quarreling over this.. hav a gd talk over it, like rotating alternate yrs, or like u all can go to ur inlaws place earlier on cny eve, den after tat go to ur parents place.. or try alternative arrangements that both of u are agreeable with..

 
Auroa,

pls be careful n take care... u can try using zam buk... i just stuck my finger in between the front n back car door earlier tis month... my finger cum out all black colour... until now still pain... cannot do x ray to see if got cracks in the bone so now got to bear wif the pain...



Serene,

maybe u can ask him is there something happen cos for the past few year he is ok rite... luckily my fil dun really insist tat reunion dinner must be on cny eve... but my side have to cos my mum got pai pai den cook alot of food on cny eve... tis year my hubby side reunion is on cny day 2...



val,

really... didn't really get to see the table... hehe... the thread moving so fast...



Split,

i have phil maid before... change 3 maid before... 2 got pregnant n go back... during tat time my area got alot of construction going on... sianz...

 
Serene, i go 2 places for my CNY dinner, we start dinner at my place with MIL at about 5plus then 7-8 plus, i go over to my mum place for soup and dessert, it has worked for the past 3 yrs.. so u might want to conisder this medthod lah. dun stress, cool down and talk to hb again.



Had to leave work half day yesterday cos not feeling well. throat very bad infection now and doc extended my antibitotics. Today on MC too, feel much better after antibiotics. will cont and hope to get well soon.

 
for that 1st yr, i went to 2 places for dinner then it was impossible and we were so stuffed!. so from yr 2 onwards, we just go back for soup and dessert and it has worked well. we usually dun stay too long. after soup and dessert, we will head home about 9, so just now, come home watch CNY show on TV with MIL. and with baby u need to go home early too.

 
Auroa:- be careful & take extra care, falling down is not a trivial matter oh.



Starfruit:- Soya bean milk consider calcium in-take??

My MIL that time tell me can't take soya bean milk while other friends say can loh. She say if drink soya bean milk den in future ur baby come out will 'tu nai' (vomit milk).. Dunno real or fake de, I heck care just drink, warm ones of cos..

 
happy/yaer/starfruit, thanks... u take care too... seems like preg quite fragile.. quite hard to recover... i hve not try the zam buk.. now only using left hand to massage and the bruised area on the left hand is clearly seen now.. not sure whether i also twised my right feet... feeling slightly pain too... sigh..



starfruit, ya, think we better brush up on our intake of calcium intake... think i will take more beancurd... the book said tat the harder it is, the more calcium it contains...

 
kaykay, soya bean milk also got calcium but not too high.. it's higher in protein level... for me i drank soya bean milk for no1 and my bb dun hve tu nai effects.. for no2, i can't take soya bean milk as it induces air and LS... so gynae advised me not to take including milk... so i'm on multi vits to brush up on the calcium level...

 
dolly, suddenly remember i read a chinses newspaper article over at inlaws last sun... wrote tat if got gastric is advisable not to use straws to drink water as it induces air.. it might want to cut down or dun use straws to drink.. hope the infor helps...

 

Morning mummies!!!



calcium intake

me just take the clacium tablet my gynae gave me... should be enuff right??? dun noe izzit for the baby or me... cos seem like not enuff for me... the back n buttock still pain...



kaykay,

tink most of the baby will tu nai, dun really tink is the soya milk... i didnt really drink soya milk during my 1st pregnancy but my gal oso tu nai... haha...



auroa,

can try... can buy it easily at ntuc... it does help me for my finger bruise... maybe u can go for tui na... cos leg pain quite dangerous...



going for a hair cut now!!! cya mummies!!!

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

L
2026 FTM Pregnant
Replies
8
Views
1K
lyly16
L
L
Polyps and Positive HCG
Replies
0
Views
155
Letitbegood
L
L
My confinement nanny search experience (with discount)
Replies
0
Views
78
liueva31
L
G
Highly Recommend Auntie May - Truly like a mother & God’s send to our family
Replies
0
Views
210
Gentlewomenssg
G
S
Recommended Nanny Winnie
Replies
1
Views
440
mo0nfl33t
M

Back
Top