(2011/05) May 2011


Val

Oh issit? Maybe M'sia de should be not bad de leh. Ya, dun bother cos nowadays I also dun care. I dun even wanna stand near the priority seat. Sometimes when they offer me to seat when am only 1 station away, I wouldnt want also.



Apple/Dolly

Hahahaaa.. Actually I dun understand why these aunties so bey pai seh leh.



Winnedy

I agree, some malay uncles are not bad. Other than that, dun rem got any other pple would offer seats.



Joycep

The weight jump is nice for your bb. Heee, very soon we can see our lil ones liao yeah.

 
Vv:- I am feeling ok now, bowel movement better alrd.. yea loh, can't resist the CNY foods & snacks.. Esp I am staying with my grandma house now, she's those kind of ah ma who make the snacks & tarts at home in large quantaties & sell & give to relatives...

OMG worse! She bake I eat she bake I eat!!



Now that imma living bk with my grandma & dad after the constipation, my grandma & dad keep stuff food & ask me to eat meal every 3-4hrs till I bloated.. Cos I v thin they force me to eat..



Actually kinda fortunate to be dote by them like this esp when imma preg but things didn't go well for me.

Ytd I woke up & overheard my dad & grandma discussing when I'll be moving back to my in-law house stay.. My grandma sounds like she don't expect me to stay for more den a week..

I felt so lost & useless that I so big le still need them to take care.. As if no one wants to take care of me.. Trying to push me here & there.. Den I cry while eating..

My in-law house has no one at home during the day so my hb felt its nt safe for me to be alone at home.

Moreover, I alrd spent 3-4months alone at home during my preg.. Now that after the incident of my constipation & I was found alone at home.. I have no choice but to turn to my dad.. But thje fact is, no one welcomes me..

Haiss..



Sorry for the long post, just wrote to relieve my feelings..

Like those elderly, no one want tc den 'kanna' send to old folks home.. The feeling.. Unbearable..

 
joycep,

wah! ur baby 500++g le, gd weight =)

hope my gal will be more active too, coz lately i realised she is less active than in the past and as compared to her kor kor...



winnedy,

so long didnt see u ard, how have u been?

how taste it is depends on individual also as diff ppl diff taste buds lo. so far, the pineapple tarts and the Lim Chee Quan bak gwa are the 1st 2 items to be finished among the goodies. hehehe.



dolly,

actually i feel la, aunties will seldom think they are making a fool of themselves.coz my auntie told me this, during their time, its v normal for them to bring 2-3 kids out on their own taking public transports even when preg...so nowadays, wat makes modern preg women so special tat ppl must give up the seats to them? if they can cope why nt us?

 
vv : you know i remember i went out with my mum & auntie... travelling with them on train, i really wish i could dig a hole underneath... they also do these kinda snatching seats too when we are at the 1st station (pasir ris)...



i've encounter pple like bangalah man offered seats to me... chinese really quite few le to give up their seats...

 
Oh dear.... kaykay, it must be horrible to hear conversations like this...



I'm really not sure abt whether they really don't welcome you coz I dunno if they know the seriousness of what's happening to you. Perhaps you can talk to them and find out what's their expectations of your stay there. But maybe take some time to cool down first before talking to them la... Or talk to your hb and ask him to help you talk to them, also can... Then at least it's not so jialat for you.

 
val,

i am ok. but today 2nd day of mc! cos of bad wind in upper tummy. any natural remedy to get rid of wind "immediately"?



d settle down in sch ald?

 
morning mommies...



re: seats

vvv true of wat u all said...they alwas pretend to sleep.or see u liao...oso pretend read book etc. i oso dun bother to stand near d priority seat.& got once i stand near a lady woke up gave me seat.but im 2 stations away..so i said no nid lah..m reaching soon...



kaykay,

i dun tink they really mean it.cos somehw ur dad & grdma seems to be asking u to eat more.i tink mayb u didnt hear d full story.& preg do get more emotionally.mayb u 1 2 discuss w ur hb lor...shld b alrite de..=)

 
Hannah:- its like.. No one wanna tc of me despite imma preg now.. My in-laws also nt rich kinda ppl, my hb also serving NS yet.. So its nt safe to keep me alone at home, after 3months den they realise this & called my dad to take the responsible to look after me, at least my grandma is at home to LOOK after me.. But they sounds as if 'why shld we take up the responsible of taking care of her since she is married alrd?!! It shld be the in-laws & hb to look after her & all the expenses..'..



Haiss..All find me troublesome.. All talk about $ & responsibility.. No one wants to tc of me..



Ya la, I know I old enuff no need depend on them, but can't they be more considerate while imma alrd preg 22weeks.. Now I dunno where I shld go..=(

 
hmmm... sounds like they are more upset abt your in-laws than anything... I still think you should talk to your father and grandma...



if you're feeling really very bad, is there another place you can go to temporarily?

 
Dolly

Aiyoh, if Im you, I would already sit further away from them loh... "eyeball rolling"... Haz... Usually I noticed there are pple who purposely travel to Tampines and then sit opp direction train back to Pasir Ris. Thereafter, no need to alight liao cos it will change direction. So KS hoh.



Wah Bangala ah. They really nice pple leh actually. Maybe only these pple can emphathise us preggy women.



Kaykay

Thats good; u are getting better. Just rem to pop more fruits and water.

Oh dear, dun feel too sad and affect your little one in you. I can undstd that kind of feel and yet this is happening to you at this moment. Dun fret.

Honestly, if I am you, I would rather move back to my own place i.e. with In-laws in this case. Cos at least when u are in-laws house, u dun feel unwanted. Thats very impt abt how u feel for now. Becos whatever feelings u have now will affect your little one inside. So maybe u stay for a few more days and when u ok liao, move back home. If really anything (choi choi!!!!), call your hubby.



U know, thru-out my #1 preg last time, I had learnt that its always better to depend on ourselves than on anyone else. And only thru pregnancy, somehow we can see thru (kan po) alot of things.



So dun add stress on yourself. Also, it could be your Grandma is the traditional type. She may think its not nice for u to stay in own parents' house for too long. U know la, old pple... all the old fashioned thinking. So, take it that u are trying to understand their situation, while on the other hand, u also want to be independent. At the same time, u wont see yourself crying again over this kind of problems anymore when u are inlaws hse. Boring it may be, but at least, u wont feel that kind of unwanted feel anymore. Understand, cheers yeah!!!

 
Mudpie

Yeah lo... sometimes they give up seats too late liao. Wats the point of sitting when only 1 or 2 stops away. Haz.

 
Kaykay

Haz, my heart cries out for u. Maybe u want to work some part time jobs from home (inlaw place)? Then they wont think u are spending their $$ also?

 
vv / mudpie : ya, have encounter the same experience too.. some will even wait till they have reached their station, then "offered" the seats to you...

 
Mudppie:- That's the worse thing! In front of me they seems to be concern & fetch me back & ask me to eat every meal..but behind.. they like wanna abandon kids likedat.. My dad is ok la, he sure gt give my grandma $ to buy foods & cook for me.. I also guility towards him cos I choose my mum rather den dad when they divorce last year.. My mum also no $ to tc & fetch me over..



Now I dunno when or where to go, partically also becos my hb didn't make it clear when the time I admitted to hospital.. He only ask my dad to fetch me over & tc of me..



Hannah:- ya, they sound unhappy with my in-law side.. They also those traditional type.. Thou I enjoy the care & warm staying back at my grandma place but the feeling of '寄人离下' is not good at all..



vv:- I also hope I can be more independent myself but its not ok to move bk to my in-law cos I will be alone at home from morning till 9pm night.. Its v dangerous, that's why in the first place they finally decided to call up my dad to fetch me bk when I almost faint in toilet when I got constipation last week..





I also know crying is bad for baby but feeling unwanted & lost.. I alrd try my best to feel more happy bout my pregnancy..

 
It sounds like you dun have any other housing options.... Well, no one likes to impose on someone else, even if it's the closest of relatives. Furthermore, I'm really unsure if the meaning of what they were saying is misinterpreted. I have not found any parent who will not care abt their children when they need help... I would suggest that instead of feeling so unhappy abt it on your own and assuming that they don't want to take care of you, please talk to your father at least and find out what he means when he was talking to your grandma... It's not about confronting him or your grandma but to really clarify if they know exactly what's happening with you and what they expected themselves to be able to do for you...

 
Kaykay

But if u are feeling better now liao. Then its ok de but is you hubby/dad contactable during the day? U see, now u dun have a place to stay...which one will be a better place now between inlaws and your grandma, without feeling unwanted?



You have to decide le. Cos no point u feel helpless and yet, u know get all the nonsense from these pple. Do u know the neighbours next door at your inlaw place?

 
kay kay,

sorry to hear wat u are going thro. i agree with hannah, dun think they dun welcome u but more of they dun understand hw serious it is. have a gd chat with them on the seriousness of ur constipation and why u will feel better staying over at their place. i am sure they more than welcome u =)

mayb daytime u can go to ur dad/granny's place then at nite go back to ur in laws place if ur hb is ard??



dolly,

so far, my encounter frm urs is diff..bangladesh wldnt offer me seat but will stare at me! hahaha.

ya...we are more pampered than them. think they can take hardship better than us nowadays...partially coz they have no choice, they dun have the luxury of maid or other caregivers beside themselves. so my auntie ask, has higher edu weaken most of the modern women??



winnedy,

hope u will recover soon. rid wind ah...when i take soy products tend to cause me to realise more wind than i want lo. hehehe. mayb u can try tat, like drinking soya bean based soup?

Yup. D is more or less settled dwn in sch le...altho at times he still cry when my mum drop him off in sch. 2nd week le. am in touch with the teacher daily as I wan to know his behaviour in sch and also wat they learn so i can go hm n revise with him.

so far the eng teacher is ok but i dun like the mandarin teacher....



vv,

ya..i agree with u its always better to depend on ourselves than others...and also my hb tends to fly often for his wk or nt hm often at times, so i have learn to be even more tougher n stronger for myself n my kids....

 
vv & hannah:- In fact my in-law, hb & my parents r not close at all.. No contact de... The only thing can make me feel better & keep me moving is my baby...

My dad don't sound unwelcome but it was rather my grandma... Afterall, its her apartment.

I am more confortable stayinG at my grandma house, at least... Someone is there to look after & tc of my daily meals..

If I move back to my in-law which not so well-being, things will be like past.. They buy breakfast at 9am and leave the house. When I wake up eat the food cold liao.. Den I am at home alone till 8/9pm, den I get to eat my 2nd meal of the day. 1 day 2 meals.. no one tc. I also can't go out of house cos chances are, I would probably faint on my way out alone..



So I guess the only thing is wait & see.. Communication also hard with all of them.. Wait till my hb comes out of army next week & see WHO wants me.. =(



Stress..

 
Well, since your grandma's place is the best place for you right now, then just stay there ba... Talk to your hb next week and see if he can help you to talk to your dad so that your dad can also talk on your behalf to your grandma...



I think sometimes, it's like the elderly are caught between their own belief systems and the love they feel for their descendants. I guess to them, the in-laws must be responsible once the daughter or grand-daughter is married. But when they are in trouble, they will still take them in and help them coz no matter how, is still their descendants mah... But still will grumble grumble la... Anyway, i think if your grandma knows the extent of what is going on with you, she will also 巴不得 you always stay with her lor.... My 2 cents worth on grandmothers la... heh...



Jiayou ok? you know what you need to do for your bb so 坚持下去！

 
winnedy, yes i'm into my 6th month already. a tough but enjoyable journey so far. for so many months, no one has ever given up their seat for me. maybe they think i fat rather than pregnant.



vv, i was quite worried at the beginning when she's not really growing. but when gynae told me her weight, very happy. at least i know sh'es absorbing the nutrients and vitamins.



val, thanks. it really took me quite a bit of "force feeding" to put on more weight to compensate for 4kg i've lost during 1st trimester.

 
kaykay, can i ask, are you very young? not working now? so staying at home full day.

I think its preggy hormones that are making u emtional. I think, no point second guessing everyone, why dun you sit your dad and grandma down and discuss this once and for all. so set everyone's expectation. I guess you are very young thus this need for someone to take care of you? what will happen when bb comes? u take care of bb yoruself at IL place? or would u still need someone to help you?



joycep, ur bb is of a very very good weight. our bb now is only 300 plus gm.. yours 500 already. very good.

 
val,

d teacher so good? tell u what they learn everyday? mine only give me mthly topics. tell me this mth go thru this topic. btw, how many kids to what teachers for d class?



just went to see doc again and tell me not to take milk and soy products and eat only 1/3 portion of what i eat. i think whole of yesterday i only eat one bowl of bee hoon soup also no recover. like diet days like that!

 
winnedy, i seem to have lost track of the archive. what happened to you? why did your doc ask u to go on a diet?

Re, spendthrift MIL, any examples? she is very extravagent? isit your hb's money she spent?

 
kaykay,

i think you and your hubby shd sit down to talk to your dad.



i think yr dad will understand. Right now, they are just blur. dunno what is happening. you may have to plan till confinement and when bb is out, who is looking after etc.

 
joycep,

for me, durian really helps me to pile on tons of weight for my #1. if u dun have any underlying condition that prevents u frm taking high sugarly stuffs, can try durian. ppl mentioned beef helps too...but personally i nv try so i duno hw true la.



winnedy,

i am in touch with the teacher everyday so i will also ask her and she will let me know. coz i told her i wanna revise with D at hm. which i really did la...coz i oso wan to know wat he learn everyday too and remind him of the things he learnt. they will give us weekly topics but i find it nt in depth enuff so i will ask the teacher further. its gd she let me know la...



The standard by MCYS is 1:12 if i am nt wrong. i forgot exactly how many kids in his class le...think 9-12?? coz sometimes they split the class into 2, 1 grp do arts & craft and another do storytelling..how abt ur boy? hw is he doing?



hmmm...soya based mayb makes u feel bloated but wil help me to release wind lo. since ur doc ask u nt to take then no choice ba. the med he gives u any help???



ur mil wking or nt wking? so she comes to ur hb for $$?

 
starfruit,

doc did not really ask me to go on diet. but this is the 3rd day that i got bad stomach bloatness. so she ask me to eat only 1/3 of my food. then eat charcoal. this is a GP. i very lazy go see gynae cos have to wait 2-3 hours to see her!



i think every mth my MIL just spent whatever money she has away. my hubby give her how much, she spend how much. she just bought another tempered glass dining table that cost $700. telling us next time the kids can eat there. there are 4 kids, ranging from 1-5 years old. a tempered glass dining table to me is like a white elephant that can be used 4-5 years later. she does not allow any kids table in the house.



i doubt she has any savings and she also terminates her insurance policy to take the money out to spend... winner



then the day before, my SIL say that is she not going to fork out a single cent if anything happens to her parents..



i feel like telling my SIL next time if sell the parents house, pls DUN TAKE a single cent too!



how shd i deal with such problems?

 
winnedy,

i think its v difficult for u to handle this as aft all she is ur mil...this has to be handled by ur hb, ur sil and the mum...if u have a share in it, then if anything happens, u will kena as aftall we are "outsiders". so wat i feel is, ur hb has to set the rules with ur mil abt the spending. however, if ur hb is ok to give extra whenever ur mil ask for it, then nthing much u can do also...as aftall, ur hb is using his $$ to give to his mum and nt ur $$ or $$ frm any joint acc...but u can tell ur hb ur concerns then let him handle the rest...



anyway, kpo..hw cum ur sil will says such thing? i thot daughter usually will take gd care of own parents? or she gek xim liao?

 
val,

why u dun like the chinese teacher?



my fren also does not like the chinese teacher from china. she say the teacher like machiam work KTV at night one.. haha

 
winnedy,

i feel the mandarin teacher abit defensive whenever i feedback things to her...

 
val,

i called up mcys, i think is 1:12 or 1:15 kids. cant remember exactly. thus the teacher does not have alot of time to update me unless i go fetch him which of cos i did not lah.



my boy is in the same school since 22 mths old. after 10 mths of crying i think shd settle down liao bah.. but he only started full day cc like 3 weeks ago only. so far ok.. just that he never eat lunch, he doesnt like the food.. so my milk powder expenses goes up!



my hubby does not want to handle the problem. he feel that my mil have a hard life when young. so let her buy whatever now. she did not ask for additional money but just spend whatever he give her. and also her salary.



as for my SIL, she super different as us one. she feel that she marry out already. so these are not her problems. now she have 3 girls. i am trying to physco her.

 
val,

some teachers are like that one lah... then maybe u dun feedback so much, listen to her and monitor first... d is in her hands leh!

 
winnedy,

can try to send email or do they have something like comms book whereby the teacher or u can provide feedback or ask for info??



wah! serious he cried for 10mths?!

ya..the food nt nice la but he nt hungry if he dun take solids? D find the food nt nice but he is hungry so he eats abit and go hm and have lunch part 2 lo.



hmm..if ur hb dun think its a prob, then really nthing u can do le...coz its his $$ he is giving and since ur mil dun ask for extra from ur hb. mayb wat u can do is tell ur hb the impt of asking ur mil to save abit, its for her own gd in the long run.



hmmm...ur sil really diff le...so she dotes alot on her inlaws???



ya..so i dun feedback much to the mandarin teacher but to the eng teacher instead! hahaha. lucky the eng teacher is ok =P

 
hello mummies. Not time to catch up on the posts, just did some readings here and there.



VV, Val,

Thanks for your encouragement.



My #1 is on 22 Apr, and #2 edd is 03 May. So i think high possibility may clash.



For seats in MRT, so far, i have been quite lucky, usually ppl will give up their seats but the non-priorty ones. The priority seats ppl usually act blur.

 
starfruit, how many months are you? i'm already 6 months, and 500+ is considered petite.



val, i'm waiting for the durian season to start. but at the meantime, i've been taking abit of those durian pancakes, puffs etc. i guess that how's baby gained a little more.

 
Kaykay

Then in that case wait for yr Hubby to come out next week then decide again. Maybe also have a good discussion with your hubby & see whats the best arrangement/solution. U sounded weak leh, u will faint if u step out... Then u must really have good rest @ home. Dun stress yeah.



Joycep

Yes, I can understand how u felt as thats what I thought so too for my lil bb. I was rather worried as I didnt put on much weight during 1st trimester. And only this time round 2nd trimester, put on abt 3 kg plus to 4kg. So felt that bb didnt absorb enough food. But dun worry yeah, yr bb is definitely growing up :)



Val

Yes, I agree. After all that had happened in the past during my #1, I realised depend on myself is the best. When dependent on others, things didnt work out the way I wanted them to be, nvm but in the end, I still gotta clear all the mess. Haz.... Now have #2, I learnt to be smarter.



Winnedy

Oh your MIL issue also sound quite bad. My PILs now not working. My MIL ever told my hubby's bro that she wants take $$ from all the kids (includes my hubby). Then my hubby very angry, felt that she didnt even help us anyting and yet want $. But on the other hand, he will not voice out becos he also felt that MIL has a hard life last time, so let her be. Haz.... Wat to do... they are their sons...

 
Joycep: i tot all our bbs still around 300gm plus only, so was surprised to see yours at 500. i just hit 5 mths. when is your edd? in april?

 
val : true lor... those days they don't even have CL to help them.. everything have to do it themselves.. then still have to take care of those elder kids while doing confinement at the same time... while nowadays, we are all like so fragile.. make sure everything is well taken care of...

 
bbpooh,

mayb u try talking to #2 and to stay in there longer and come out nearer to edd?



joycep,

hahaha. ya. meanwhile, cont to eat more durian related stuffs =P



vv,

gd to be more independent n smarter when the needs arise lo. hehehe. at least wldnt be taken advantage of! =P

gd tat u can take a short but power nap at ur desk..if i need a rest, i have to go to the toilet lo! =( today feeling tired too and i am feeling sleepy nw...how i wish tml sat. hahaha.



dolly,

think with each generation, the ppl just gets "weaker" la. imagine our grannies era where they can have easily 10kids! hahaha.

 
Val

No choice cos I really super tired... Toilet abit tough leh. We got pple like to do big business in the toilet de loh.

Yap, kena 'shio-hai' to become more independent de loh.



Val/Dolly

Last time pple, give birth 10 also do confinement by themselves I think or maybe the mother just help out a bit here and there.. And now our grandma(s) are all still going strong and good. Haz...

 
Hannah:- ya I guess I need to wait till my hb come back next week to discuss.. I told him bout the situation ytd & he called me silly for thinking that no one wants me..



I understand my grandma & dad love me..



Starfruit:- I am 23 this year.. & stay at home for now.. Cos of my weak body, imma unable to work or go out/travel.. When bb comes I will be staying at home still to look after my bb..but it will be with my in-law.. Guess have to call some of my friends or ask here for more help when I need help at home regarding newborn..

Also hope my mil will help abit.. I know I have to be ready to be a mum, that's why Imma reading a lot & asking a lot now.. I wanna get myself prepared for my baby..





Winnedy:- ya, have to work things out slowly.. All maybe acting blur or waiting for another person to give in a helping hand to tc of me.. My hb also say wait till come out den say.. My dad also aware of it..



vv:- ya, have to plan for this.. I personally would like to stay at my grandma's place as I feel more secure & well taken care of.. But prob is I felt unwelcome..



My grandma this morning still ask me while I was eating, 'when is ur husband coming to fetch u? This friday har?'. =(

 
Kaykay

Try to google more on the website to learn more and also, if possible to take prenatal lessons in hospitals. This will help u alot as a first time mother. If your MIL is willing to help you; it is great blessings.



Dolly

Haz.... Now Im feeling very helpless because Im very sleepy lor... Dunno how to du guo the next few months leh!!!!

 

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