(2011/03) Mar 2011

2Ks, Poky, no lah.. I think the husbands also trying their best to make things easier for the mums. For work if they have to travel, they have to travel. At least with maid be it good or no good, they know you have someone with you at home.

I think many of us dun like the idea of having maid, but getting part time maid once a week is really not helping. Especially we are working 9-6pm. We deserved some me-time too.

 


2Ks,



I agreed with what the other ladies here said. Take the maid, accept your hubby's way of offering help, it's his way of showing love and appreciation for you. (though I agree that men sometimes dunno how to show their concern for us, e.g. scold us for working too hard etc). But that's another story. [IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



More importantly, it's your health and sanity. Not to mention, the welfare and safety of your 3 kids. If I remembered correctly, u have a dog and you are also a super diligent breastmilk pumper, right?



There was a few times when I was latching my 2nd boy or pumping, my 1st boy would do something dangerous, such as climbing a few stairsteps and wanting to jump down from that height. I screeched, dunno how to dump the 2nd baby and fly over to catch the 1st boy. Or they have a knack of crying WHEN i am having my meals. Or when I am drowsy from medication and desperately need some shut-eye. These are the times that I am very grateful for an extra pair of hands. There are tonnes of duties that we have been piling upon ourselves, and we didn't know it cos we are used to them. For me, at one point, I realised that I'm forever running around completing my 'to-do' lists, always panting (sibei unglam), eye always on the clock, very tensed. So instead of being a super steady 龙姥姥, I was a headless chicken. Snapped at my hubby unnecessarily, fustrated that he is not doing more to help. So in a way, the maid does become part of the solution.



You've incredible multi-tasking skills and patience, but there maybe too many things on your plate. Don't be too hard on yourself. Lie back, relak relak, shake legs abit, drink some teh tarik, surf some net, while the maid is washing the dishes, mopping the floor, cleaning up the poop. Embrace the extra freedom and time.



YOU DESERVE IT! [IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]





Wah, this turns out to be quite a long post. Forgive me yeah, me heart pain to see you so jialat. So have to nag at you abit. This nagging bit comes with old age, you see. hahaha [IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
milktea, ya, i know it their way, man way of thinkin. so can only ren n think of their gd pts. juz tat at times, we also need to rant n vent. lol



st, thx. but stil i prefer if can find auntie type. then easier to nego on last in changes. caterin by cmpy stick by rules. not flexible. thus lookin ard if got flexi arrangement. i woulnt know when or if my bb will really b warded for jaundice. or how many times. if possible, best is not at all lor!



lol, tis morn was chattin with hubby on future plan. he also v worried how i gointo cope alone with 3 kids. but maid is stil our last option. c ba. when i really cant cope... then decide. :p

 
milktea: thank u...yes even though i have a part time, i still got to do those daily chores...

okay...i sort of accepted it. he paid for the fees already yday and i signed the documents...



airmez: thanks for sharing with me...u got a point there...

maybe i really need somebody else at hm with me especially when hub is outstation.

i also snapped at my hubby at times, which i think its not healthy. maybe when the maid come, we really will have some me time, go out at night, go for supper just the both of us or so bah...



i just hope i get used to it soon...

she be arriving in 4 weeks time...i hope she better be a good one and hope i am a good employer.

 
Yah, bopee she's a good maid and can be of help to your household.



Nowadays, my maid sibei siong too. Initially I planned for her to do household chores only. But my hubby (men being men), will fully utilise whatever help he can get.



So he everyday/week teaches one new bb/toddler-caring duty to the maid -- e.g.



1) make milk,

2) change diaper,

3) spoon-feeding the toddler,

4) how to tuck the toddler/bb to sleep,

5) how to bathe the toddler etc



so much so that my hubby is in a 'supervisory' role. When the bb cries, he look see look see abit and shout "Milk for #2 please!" And Whooooosh! A bottle of warm milk is being placed onto his out-held hand.. Wah lau eh, and he will look at me and said "This is how men conquer the world, by delegation!"



wah lau eh....



[IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
airmez: i dont dare to think...i just take the gamble and see how bah...

already signed yday...

just that suddenly in a month time, i have so many changes...next month, i have another 3 persons in my house...

my PUB bills...my food...got to prepare so many things...

haiz...

 
2k - so fast think of me time le... Even with maid we don't have me time.. Lol.. But we r not complaining la...



Our maid mainly to send/fetch Eden, do all the house hold chores and cooking of dinner...



Other parenting duties like showering feeding changing of diapers, play and reading book done by us.



Maid also like not very keen to play with Eden lei... Tmr will be first day sending Eden to sch herself.. I'm hoping all goes well...



I have a fren the maid take care of baby when she go work.. The baby stick to maid like glue.. Showering la. Diaper changing everything done by maid those she's at home... End up baby damn sticky to maid...



Now maid going back in July Liao... She also kinda panic... Trying to separate the baby n maid... But Heng she recently place the girl in school... So day time at least she's not with maid...



Too close to maid also a problem when they go back...

 
Just focus on yourself and your newborn. Bo chap the rest... Cheer up!! [IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
fel: meimei will still go IFC...the maid is just to help me with chores lor...and i get her to cook i think.

ppl thinks i am crazy...got maid still send ifc for what...

but hubby thinks we should...cos at least she learn things there and we more fang xin...so just put lor. anyway reserve the place 1st and see how

 
Not crazy la...



I will send my #2 to IFC with maid too...



Won't know which day they will play punk with me say wanna go home don't wanna work or wanna transfer... At least I don't be bombed with a child care issue suddenly...



Plus we r not a pro maid as main care giver... Dunno what maid up to at home.. How they treat/mistreat baby at home... So young can't talk can't complain...



My point of view la.. At least in IFC there got few pairs of eyes.. Don't think will get abuse also...

 
2ks - yes, agreed.. since hb pay for it.. just take it and have a little more time to yourself. but rem to set the expectation right when they first arrive. like what you need them to do etc.



good maids are hard to find. my coll maid, come <6 months, but caughte at least 3 time even though my coll never give hp. and to the extent yesterday when my coll demanded her hp,saw her phone, was totally disgusted! inside not only contain photos of her in full makeup, also have phoots that her bf sent to her, like bf's cock photos. totally disgusted! my coll enuf liao, sent her back to agency immediately today.

 
allets: is that indo maids? they have their own privacy also la...



i dont wanna listen to maid stories already...i am very stressed and pressured already...



decided to just take the gamble..

 
yes indo.



dont stress, enjoy your preg. maid come liao then handle it loh. not all maids are bad . there are real good maids too.

 
Hi all,



I back!



2Ks,

Agreed w Airmez, go for the maid first, then after when your 3Ks go older and you can manage on your own, then sayonara to the maid. Its not a permanent thing, just take it as the maid is here to help you out for 2-3 years. Ya lah, not all maids are bad, when select maid hor, I stared and look at the photo v v long hahaha!!!! So dun worry so much yah!





Of course personally, I prefer w/o maid lah, now my maid left for 3 months already, and I so happy, but then hubby suffer. I shout, scream at him to do this/that as my boy stick to me like glue and I can't do anything at all. On the other side, I can't go anywhere, last time got maid, she still can look after my boy and I can go out with friends, now like stuck between work and home only. Sianz.

 
2ks, I think you really need a maid. For me if I have 3 kids n no maid i think i will gone crazy. Just try out for 2 years first, once your little princess grown up then u can dun need the maid anymore. God will bless you a good maid, be positive! Happy and will have a happy baby!

 
won_mummy, did u try putting toys in the toilet? I got some in the toilet so when bath time she will happily go inside n play her toys but i got another problem is she refused to come out wahaha.



I think now they r in terrible 2 leh. Very diff to bring my girl out. She like a wild monkey jumping and running the whole place and refused to let me hold her hand nor sit stroller. V tiring.... dun how to survive on my coming bali trip with her... regretted to bring her now...

 
thanks jen - yes, left some toys in e toilet. at e moment, its breeze now aft trying e bathtub suggestion 2ks gave. yes, now i also have problem asking her to come out. lol...but at least, she finally lets me shower her happily [IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] i am ok to wait a while to let her enjoy. keeping fingers crossed that this tactic can last as long as possible.



for bringing out, yes, i totally agree on e terrible 2. when we say want to go out, she will say: dont want. bernice want to stay at home alone...faintz...n when she finally out, she refuse to sit stroller nor walk. so, 1 help we discovered was e mini stroller for doll. whenever we reach a shopping ctr, we will let her push that. she can walk thruout our shopping session [IMG=http://singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]...just that we need to 'open road' for her at crowded places.

 
jen / won_mummy : yes, terrible stage they are in. they have a mind of their own. want to wear what, now they decide, not us. ask her go wear the red shoes, she said gai gai and insisted to wear the other pair. else she threw tantrums.



but luckily this lazy ger, she will still sit in stroller when i bring her to marketing over the weekend. entertained her using stickers, cornflakes. she can sit for 1+hours. as for shopping malls, those supermarket trolley fine for her. if she wants to walk, this scaredy cat dont dare to run far de. so even if she walks on her own, is within line of sight.

 
thanks bbkaiser and blurjen



ya i more or less settled the maid issue already.

just see open bah...and dont expect too much...

i see how...hope she is ok...

 
mimimo: read...thank u..

i think i am in the same position lor..

i hope my maid will be ok...



havent come already spent a bomb...

still got to put camera and also get her a cupboard...sian



anybody using cameras at hm can share info with me???

 
2Ks,

U v nice, still get her a cupboard. That time I only give her a Toyogo plastic big box.



As for cameras, I only install at main door. My SIL installed in the maids room as her 2 maids sleep with her twins but inform the maids got camera so if want change clothes, do it in toilet. One in living room and one in main door, so know who come & go out, etc. She installed with night vision and wireless type, only dun hv sound.

 
bbkaiser: alot of ppl asked me to get toyogo box/drawers. but cos she is sleeping with #3. i dont want the room to be messy. so will get her a proper one. we looking at ikea ones.



allets: she is waiting for singapore side approval. i think should arrive by month end.

i think timing is abit tight la. i am now 33 weeks. so should be due somewhere 1st/2nd week of may bah...

abit tight la...but hope can make it.

 
2Ks,

That time my thinking was since she only here 2 years, so I dun wan to spend so much and the toyogo one is transparent, so can see what she put inside. After my maid left, I throw everything, her pillow, blanket, and she dump her cloths in the toilet, all I throw.



Yours from which country?

 
bbkaiser: eh...i try not to have this mindset la. cos hub wants a maid for at least 4 years...

i see how....



mine from philippines lor..

so exp...idiot

 
2Ks



Just to share...

My maids all frm Ph..

I only choose fresh maids.. refuse all those with SG experience..

Training is very impt..

Prep talk is very impt...

My previous maid was very good..

super guai and hardworking..

when her contract ends, she went home cos its too tiring for her.. i totally understand.

taking care of 2 boys and housework and cooking..

I have no choice but to let her go..

My current maid also not bad.. not as hardworking but no choice, cos she don have off day....

Just to say.. even though my boys grew up with maids..

they are closer to me than the maids..

I make it a point to take them away from the maid and have bonding them..

I help the maid once i reach home..

Its not just for bonding.. Its also to give the maid a break from the kids..

If not they also go crazy..

To reach to this stage its not easy.

In the beginnin, i had to put up with their horrible english.. Use ipad and translate..

Tahan all their crying..

encourage them everyday...

Treat them like kids.. show everythin step by step... so that they can meet my standards..

I have dummy camera at home for show only.. cos my hubby work from home..

You don worry too much.. just try to communicate with your maid. Tell her your expectations right from the start. Ask her to try for three days if she can cope and want to meet ur expectation. If not quickly change.

 
Hello everyone! I'm back to work last Monday... Just have time to come in here and catch up. So glad here is still so lively.. 2Ks, u are going to due soon, so excited for u. Hope all smooth smooth for u, ur 3Ks, new maid and etc.



Give a brief update about myself, I am surviving well with 1 toddler n 1 bb. Still without a FT/PT maid. Still doing housechores myself during weekend, but am fortunate that I still have my mum to help me look after mei mei from Mon-Fri. In the end I didn't withdraw Javier from CCC as we think is better to let him continue n learn things since he is used to going ccc already and he has been picking up things fast which we really feel is good that he goes ccc.

 
smiggleprince: thanks for sharing. i guess now think so much also no use. i see how things goes...



JAJJ: great that you are coping fine. got mum to help u better rite...no need to worry so much. can work peacefully.

its true sometimes its really sian to go back to work. but at times we really need the sanity. get away from the kids.



ya...next month will have a major change to me in my life...hopefully i can manage.



now already visiting dr ang 2 weeks, then 1 week then can prepare anytime in may le..

sigh!

at one point feel like seeing her soon, but at another time its like huh so fast?

very contradicting

but i know my hubby pretty excited about seeing her soon...

he keep saying the thai relative so cute and sweet...

 
2Ks: I'm sure you can cope with the maid around. Don't forget you are our super mommy. You can let the maid handle the housework while you spend more time bonding with your 3Ks.



JAJJ: Welcome back to work. I saw from your FB that Jav really enjoys school and he is such a sweet kor kor.



I still have another 13 weeks before #2 is due. Time really pass so fast and I still have a lot of things not done yet. Have to quickly finish the outstanding stuffs and wait for delivery. This time he should be coming out at about 38 weeks or even earlier.

 
jojo: hopefully i can manage the maid..alot of things to think off.

but the bonding part is really something to look forward to. means i can read books to the boys...more time to play with them.



have u wash the stuff already???

 
2Ks: Yup, the bonding part is really important and fun too.



Nope..have not start washing yet. I need to clear out #1's drawers first before I can start washing. Otherwise wash already but no place to keep. Anyway, I will dump everything into the washing machine, so should be quite easy.

 
hi hi...

so so long never log in alr.. been enjoying my ML and lft with 2 more weeks before going back to the workforce!



Wow, 2Ks and ST alr in 3rd trimster, so fast??

Jiayou and enjoy the rest of your preganancy!



ah, 2Ks, finally you relented ah! Maid got good and bad lah! with 3 kids, you need to spend more them with the kids, all the housework, leave it to the maid ba! Yup, Pinoy maids may be hard to manage! They are talkative, quite proud and rather vain.

Is yours married or not? Fresh or Ex-sin? Whatever it is, give them the benefit of doubt.. treat them ok, if they are fine, good lor.. if shitty.. send back imme, no 2nd chance ba!



remember to have a list of ground rules and schedule, with do and don't for her to see when she step in.. cannot anyhow let her have her way...



Jojo.. enjoy your time with #1.. you will feel bad neglecting #1 when #2 is out! plus #1 is at a fun age now..



Suddenly, feel like quitting and staying at home to witness the kids growing years! Yes, you heard that from me.. from someone that didn't want kids 5 years ago, hahahah! MOtherhood really change me!

 
tres.. yup, I'm trying to make up the time lost with #1 when I was so weak and tired during trimester 1. Agree that they are so fun now. Lots of expressions, especially the cheeky ones, trying to talk, lots of funny patterns everyday. haha..



I think the cost of living here is too high for just 1 partner to support the family. Somemore, we always want the best for our kids. So no choice have to keep working. If possible I also wish to stay at home with the kids.

 
jojo: oh..for me, i got so much to adjust and change. got to shift the cot, get beds for the 2 boys...then get a new cupboard...wash clothes (alot of pass downs) plus girls got so much things la!



tres: i would say working is for sanity for my case. some me time...get away from the kids etc.

i would like to be a sahm too...but not now...maybe later.



ya la...i am almost due already...beginning of may lor. now in panic and freaking mode lor.

mine not married...but got kid. apparently its very common there. hub chose one not me...i leave it to him.

its fresh...never come sg before one.

ya i got prepare a set of house rules...just that havent really confirm it yet. schedule also havent do...shall find some time to do.



huh...u going back to work like soon??? 16 weeks just gone with the wind ah! but u had few gatherings with pauline already rite...

 
2Ks: I still have a whole list of things to do. In fact, I have not done anything yet. I remember during #1, I very kiasu, try to get everything ready early. Now #2 very lazy to move about. For baby room, I need to rearrange all the furnitures in the room. We itch hand go and convert the room to a play room and now need to rearrange everything to accommodate the bed and cot and other stuffs. Herbs and confinement stuffs also not ready. Have not decided on a name for baby too.

 
tres..so fast finish ur ML oredi..wah the 16 wk really fly by very fast...



i realise if hubby need to travel, doesnt need work late and willing to lift his fingers..by and large can survive without maid..tt wat i notice from my #3 forum mummy...got 1 mummy like me having #3 also no getting maid coz the hubby very hands on...



so maybe really must give thanks to such hubbies for us to function with out a maid..must give more credit to my hubby ..i dont give me much credit.hahaha..



all the best to u 2ks..



me going off for my baby moon next week to taiwan..not real baby mooon coz i bringing both kids along...



then come back to pack hospital bag..for now i wil pack my holiday bag first...



going to get pampered before the PAMPERS!

 
jojo: do it when u still have strength...for #2 hor...by the end really quite tired already.

i am suffering from backaches and also heartburn almost daily...and i even start vomitting back again...sian.

but i am glad i finished most stuff already during the HL. left some other stuff wait for maid to come then do.



jaime: thank u! wah...holiday again. enjoy!

i can only plan one after i pop..and only 3 days one...

yup...i think if hubby hands on, still ok can manage.

but sometimes my hubby will say "i wanna go entertainment also cannot. cos got to worry about me cant cope with them" and then when he goes outstation, he tends to get very worried that i will ki siao...

lol..

 
2Ks n Jaime... YES.. The 16 weeks pass so so fast! Dun even feel like going back this time around... But guess I have to face reality ba!



Yes, had a few gathering with #2 mummies n Pauline!



Enjoy your holiday Jaime.



Now I dun even dare to think to go on a holiday w kids.. So much to do n pack!

But will be going for a R&R trip w Hb before working!

 
tres..envy u...u r in maldives...i went wiht hubby many yrs ago..heaven on EARTH!



i am not scare of labour etc..i only scare i dont have time for my 2 kids.,.my biggest fear when baby is born..hope the baby is the easy kind..sleep well amidst all the noise in the house..so tt i can spend time with the older kids...so this holiday is also for me n spend 100% of the time with them before the baby comes...

 
mummies....



check with u all....how to remove the yellow stains from the stored baby clothes?



Tres...saw the photos posted in fb...how i wish i can go for holiday!!! super envy you!!!



Jaime...when is your taiwan trip ...? R u going this weekend? ...i saw your photo in fb...u din put on alot weight...!! still look so pretty ....

 
Time flies!



2ks, don't be too stressed k! You are forever our super mummy!



Jaime, enjoy your babymoon! Share your hypnobirthing experience k!



All the mummies coping with pregnancies, terrible 2, going back work, etc... jiayou!

 
mummies, dun envy me too much! you all will have the chance too!

it was fun for THAT few days but after touching down to S'pore, reality hits!



Now back to work, let's see how I juggle work & motherhood w 2, plus expressing! hahha, tough work but a mum gotta to go a mum duties ;-P

 
Hehe... going to give birth soon... 3 to 4cm dilated already. Supposed to admit today but I requested wed cos today maid coming plus kiefer is sick...



Good luck to me hor mummies

 
Allets: her edd is 28 may. Today is 37 weeks lor...



Fel: dr ang also said my request abit funny.. he warned me against labour at home or otw hospital lor...

Ask me to monitor contractions. But the prob is I every now and then also contractions leh...

He said maybe 2mr give birth... my appt is wed morning la if I can tong... so wed afternoon should b able to c kristal lor.

Aiyo... panic panic leh..

 


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