(2009/09) September 2009 MTBs
- Thread starter jenifur
- Start date
chellechelle
Active Member
oh ya.. hubby gave her so much actually is for her to spend n get things she likes, also to cook for me rather than me always eating out esp now that im preg. Hubby got very upset when she nv cooked once for me when he was away for 2 weeks last mth.
N to us, give her money is like giving her to gamble lo.. If im not wrong she also gives pocket money to my SIL kids cos her hubby not working for more then a yr le n SIl is a housewife. So hubby is like supporting 2 families lo. He is really not happy abt it. But what can he do? give $ to his mum, the money belongs to his mum. she wants to give who is beyond what we can say also.
hubby did say that he will give his mum $800 from this mth n not 1K. but duno what she will say this time. Now that hubby is not ard, I will be the one passin her the $. Will she tink i purposely give her lesser? I duno..
N to us, give her money is like giving her to gamble lo.. If im not wrong she also gives pocket money to my SIL kids cos her hubby not working for more then a yr le n SIl is a housewife. So hubby is like supporting 2 families lo. He is really not happy abt it. But what can he do? give $ to his mum, the money belongs to his mum. she wants to give who is beyond what we can say also.
hubby did say that he will give his mum $800 from this mth n not 1K. but duno what she will say this time. Now that hubby is not ard, I will be the one passin her the $. Will she tink i purposely give her lesser? I duno..
ling
the gambling habit arh, my mil no better...mahjong, card games and somemore those illegal ones leh...night time 'someone' will call and pick her up in a van and there she goes...
once we cldn't find her...hse no one ans call, call her in her hp also didn't pick up...we kancheong call her daughters, friends...trying to locate her...guess what?? kenna caught and sent to police station lor...later she called her friend to bail her out...
AND of course she lost A LOT OF MONEY ALSO!!! as in 5 digits type okay...anyway difficult to break away fr gambling habits de la...her gambling problems and debts she don't dare to tell or trouble my hub also coz know that my hub sure scold her until gou3xue3lin2tou2 and same time we won't haf that kind of money to help her also...
so long as she is happy with it...coz other than gambling, she gt no other interest or hobby liao...asked her go out, say legs pain...bt use hands play mahjong/card, hands not pain...other than working, no need take care of grandchildren...at home also nothing to do...so juz let her be lor...
the gambling habit arh, my mil no better...mahjong, card games and somemore those illegal ones leh...night time 'someone' will call and pick her up in a van and there she goes...
once we cldn't find her...hse no one ans call, call her in her hp also didn't pick up...we kancheong call her daughters, friends...trying to locate her...guess what?? kenna caught and sent to police station lor...later she called her friend to bail her out...
AND of course she lost A LOT OF MONEY ALSO!!! as in 5 digits type okay...anyway difficult to break away fr gambling habits de la...her gambling problems and debts she don't dare to tell or trouble my hub also coz know that my hub sure scold her until gou3xue3lin2tou2 and same time we won't haf that kind of money to help her also...
so long as she is happy with it...coz other than gambling, she gt no other interest or hobby liao...asked her go out, say legs pain...bt use hands play mahjong/card, hands not pain...other than working, no need take care of grandchildren...at home also nothing to do...so juz let her be lor...
chellechelle
Active Member
kiki..
i tink she gambles in almost everything lo.. duno if ive ever mentioned that she withdrew 5K during our weddin n said she need to spend for our wedding. but its not true lo.. All expenses were paid by us even the angpaos she had to give were also our $.
End up we found out that she not only did not go work, but she went gambling in a ship n all the $ was gone within a mth or so. Cos aft a mth plus, she suddenly went back to work n we just knew the $ was gone.
i tink she gambles in almost everything lo.. duno if ive ever mentioned that she withdrew 5K during our weddin n said she need to spend for our wedding. but its not true lo.. All expenses were paid by us even the angpaos she had to give were also our $.
End up we found out that she not only did not go work, but she went gambling in a ship n all the $ was gone within a mth or so. Cos aft a mth plus, she suddenly went back to work n we just knew the $ was gone.
chellechelle
Active Member
nongning...
so far she has nv gambled at home or brought frens home to gamble lo. Except during CNY when relatives comes over for some majong sessions lo. This one still can accept la.. dun tink she will dare bring frens home to gamble la.. She knows hubby wont allow.
so far she has nv gambled at home or brought frens home to gamble lo. Except during CNY when relatives comes over for some majong sessions lo. This one still can accept la.. dun tink she will dare bring frens home to gamble la.. She knows hubby wont allow.
mama to 6Js
wah... u also gt stories to tell...really is jia1jia1you2ben3nan2nian4de2jing1...think all same...
actually my mil same like urs, other than the 1st she helps partially (my mom helped out also), the rest she helped to do the marketing also. will buy one whole week needs for me every weekend when she is not working...and she will buy the best and expensive stuffs for me...threadfin, codfish, yeochi....she will not scrimp and save on that even though she is a very thrifty person other than her gambling habits that cost her alot...
wah... u also gt stories to tell...really is jia1jia1you2ben3nan2nian4de2jing1...think all same...
actually my mil same like urs, other than the 1st she helps partially (my mom helped out also), the rest she helped to do the marketing also. will buy one whole week needs for me every weekend when she is not working...and she will buy the best and expensive stuffs for me...threadfin, codfish, yeochi....she will not scrimp and save on that even though she is a very thrifty person other than her gambling habits that cost her alot...
chellechelle
Active Member
delfine...
duno how far i can go n not to si1 puo4 lian3 pi2. Theres no escape of me from her cos there's really no one she can depend on except on her son le.
I know how much hubby loves me n how much he has given up for the family so 1 always try hard not to put hubby in a difficult spot, He's alr stressed up by alot of things.. both work n family. Plus now i not working le. I dun want to add pressure on him since i can help him. So I always keep things in me as far as i can.
duno how far i can go n not to si1 puo4 lian3 pi2. Theres no escape of me from her cos there's really no one she can depend on except on her son le.
I know how much hubby loves me n how much he has given up for the family so 1 always try hard not to put hubby in a difficult spot, He's alr stressed up by alot of things.. both work n family. Plus now i not working le. I dun want to add pressure on him since i can help him. So I always keep things in me as far as i can.
ling
btw, last time when i want a hse of my own, guess what reason i gave my hub?? actually i beri xian4shi2 one lor...
i told him direct that the hse i don't haf name..i also mus think of myself what, now i housewife with kids, and u cannot guanranteed that u will be wif me the whole life, say what if u zaosai gt other woman, divorce me, kick me out of the hse and i cldn't find a job after all the yrs at home, then i like kns lor...must give me a sense of security right???....
anyway this is my story la...everyone gt their difficult for not able to accomplish/do this and that...I am lucky in a sense, my mil was willing to let us go lor...maybe she also know xiangjianhaotongzunan lor...
btw, last time when i want a hse of my own, guess what reason i gave my hub?? actually i beri xian4shi2 one lor...
i told him direct that the hse i don't haf name..i also mus think of myself what, now i housewife with kids, and u cannot guanranteed that u will be wif me the whole life, say what if u zaosai gt other woman, divorce me, kick me out of the hse and i cldn't find a job after all the yrs at home, then i like kns lor...must give me a sense of security right???....
anyway this is my story la...everyone gt their difficult for not able to accomplish/do this and that...I am lucky in a sense, my mil was willing to let us go lor...maybe she also know xiangjianhaotongzunan lor...
chellechelle
Active Member
girly...
my MIL used to gamble alot in the past too n she even turned to those ah long to borrow money. At that time, hubby's BIL biz was doin well n very rich.. so managed to help her clear her debts.. We all know that the leopard nv loses its spots. So hubby is not really afraid of her gambling.. but is very afraid of her gambling too big n she gets herself into unneccessary troubles. Hubby will have to be the only one she could turn to but he wont have the ability to do so too..
she is also not the type who goes out with the family de.. she is those wo3 xing2 wo3 su4 type of person. She doesnt tell anyone where shes goin nor likes to go out with us de.. There was once hubby brought her to vivo to buy crocs for her cos she said she wanted it aft seeing hubby's new crocs shoe. When we got there, we headed straight for the shop, bought n left the shop within 15 mins. Then she say she wana buy some curry puffs for her frens then want to go home le.. Bedok to vivo.. buy crocs.. curry puffs for her frens then wana go home liao.. So we gotta send her all the way back home before we drive out again ourselves..
and then again.. I dun tink i can ever escape from her la.. no one else to look aft her ma.. no one else she could depend on ma. Move out also she will still be with us de...
my MIL used to gamble alot in the past too n she even turned to those ah long to borrow money. At that time, hubby's BIL biz was doin well n very rich.. so managed to help her clear her debts.. We all know that the leopard nv loses its spots. So hubby is not really afraid of her gambling.. but is very afraid of her gambling too big n she gets herself into unneccessary troubles. Hubby will have to be the only one she could turn to but he wont have the ability to do so too..
she is also not the type who goes out with the family de.. she is those wo3 xing2 wo3 su4 type of person. She doesnt tell anyone where shes goin nor likes to go out with us de.. There was once hubby brought her to vivo to buy crocs for her cos she said she wanted it aft seeing hubby's new crocs shoe. When we got there, we headed straight for the shop, bought n left the shop within 15 mins. Then she say she wana buy some curry puffs for her frens then want to go home le.. Bedok to vivo.. buy crocs.. curry puffs for her frens then wana go home liao.. So we gotta send her all the way back home before we drive out again ourselves..
and then again.. I dun tink i can ever escape from her la.. no one else to look aft her ma.. no one else she could depend on ma. Move out also she will still be with us de...
Girly,
Sorry, blur man.. See lah, have to wish you again on tuesday..hehheh.
What can I cook ah? You must know I don't know how to cook anything before I moved here 3 years ago. Cannot even do housework. Had to learn everything from the hub. Now my mum and friends laugh at me cos I have to bao ga liao now. I'm a bit better but not much
I can cook chicken rice, curry, make jiao zi, tofu, chawanmushi, make pizza, german dishes and salad lor.. hahahah. When I'm in a good mood I will also bake. Want to employ a maid?
PS.. don't know how to look after children though...
Sorry, blur man.. See lah, have to wish you again on tuesday..hehheh.
What can I cook ah? You must know I don't know how to cook anything before I moved here 3 years ago. Cannot even do housework. Had to learn everything from the hub. Now my mum and friends laugh at me cos I have to bao ga liao now. I'm a bit better but not much
chellechelle
Active Member
kiki..
haha.. the IR.. she might just lie again then go there gamble with her frens lo.. we cant possibly be watching over her 24 hrs a day ma..
haha.. the IR.. she might just lie again then go there gamble with her frens lo.. we cant possibly be watching over her 24 hrs a day ma..
blessedmommy
Active Member
girly
yah lah i also got my story hah... for me, its easier cos hub has always stayed alone since he was young cos he went overseas to study etc... but all along mil wanted to stay with us, esp see us stay in landed etc... everytime i find house i also smart i find those got just nice bedrooms for us even got spare rooms i will make them to play room or study room in the end no spare room for her so she cant stay with us haha.. i v evil right!
yah lah i also got my story hah... for me, its easier cos hub has always stayed alone since he was young cos he went overseas to study etc... but all along mil wanted to stay with us, esp see us stay in landed etc... everytime i find house i also smart i find those got just nice bedrooms for us even got spare rooms i will make them to play room or study room in the end no spare room for her so she cant stay with us haha.. i v evil right!
ling
ya ur hub is a nice man, u married ur man not his mother...no point mil good bt DH nt good right...bt still wanna say don't always bottle up ur feeling...things need to be say, still muz say...best to avoid bt then when pass limits liao then one time explode, the result will be worse off...
ya ur hub is a nice man, u married ur man not his mother...no point mil good bt DH nt good right...bt still wanna say don't always bottle up ur feeling...things need to be say, still muz say...best to avoid bt then when pass limits liao then one time explode, the result will be worse off...
milkyway18
Active Member
Huishan,
sure lunch is on next week but not mon okie? when u prefer?
Phuangthong and delfine,
me grad in 1993
sure lunch is on next week but not mon okie? when u prefer?
Phuangthong and delfine,
me grad in 1993
chellechelle
Active Member
Big thanks, girly, for hearing me lo soh so much...
Will see how I can put it to hubby when i have the chance to. I also dun want cos of my MIL, n our relationship gets affected.
My aunt once told me that it will be me who will live with hubby for the rest of his life.. My MIL cannot be so selfish to want everthin in a way esp now that her son has his own family. I cant agree more...
Will see how I can put it to hubby when i have the chance to. I also dun want cos of my MIL, n our relationship gets affected.
My aunt once told me that it will be me who will live with hubby for the rest of his life.. My MIL cannot be so selfish to want everthin in a way esp now that her son has his own family. I cant agree more...
blessedmommy
Active Member
ling
i agree totally with GIRLY. things u must say u better say but be tactful lo. but must say when u marry a man, u dun just marry the man u marry their family also so at times really no choice. esp u get those mil who want to control their sons even though the son already hv a family of their own. v bad lor
i agree totally with GIRLY. things u must say u better say but be tactful lo. but must say when u marry a man, u dun just marry the man u marry their family also so at times really no choice. esp u get those mil who want to control their sons even though the son already hv a family of their own. v bad lor
Ling,
Wah lau, your MIL sounds like a terror lor! Before I married, my mum used to tell me often to look carefully at my bf's family. I scoffed at it and told her.. aiyo, also not marrying the family what. But now I know what she means. Gambling, drinking and drugs are the worst addictions one can have. Aiyo! Now I know why you are so depressed. It seems so difficult or impossible to 'get rid' of her.. pardon my expression.
Wah lau, your MIL sounds like a terror lor! Before I married, my mum used to tell me often to look carefully at my bf's family. I scoffed at it and told her.. aiyo, also not marrying the family what. But now I know what she means. Gambling, drinking and drugs are the worst addictions one can have. Aiyo! Now I know why you are so depressed. It seems so difficult or impossible to 'get rid' of her.. pardon my expression.
blessedmommy
Active Member
delfine
my mom always told me find husb must find much older one so next time less likely to stay with mil. also dun find one with too many sisters cos sisters like to tell tales abt u to ur mil. the part abt sisters v true cos one of my frd married her husb with 4 sisters! and he is only son and she now got so much problem with mil even though they not stayg tog. i never know all this sounds v logical to me till i had the chance to experience it myself lo.
i empathise with u really cos ur mil sounds like a terror to live with, esp with her undesirable habits. try to speak to hub ok. i know u dun want to put him in a spot but this concerns ur first confinement im sure he will work something out.
my mom always told me find husb must find much older one so next time less likely to stay with mil. also dun find one with too many sisters cos sisters like to tell tales abt u to ur mil. the part abt sisters v true cos one of my frd married her husb with 4 sisters! and he is only son and she now got so much problem with mil even though they not stayg tog. i never know all this sounds v logical to me till i had the chance to experience it myself lo.
i empathise with u really cos ur mil sounds like a terror to live with, esp with her undesirable habits. try to speak to hub ok. i know u dun want to put him in a spot but this concerns ur first confinement im sure he will work something out.
Girly,
then you win hands down for sure...hehheh.
Eh.. I don't know if it is exactly the same in sing but I think as long as the assets are acquired during the marriage, even though they are not in your name, they have to be split up between the couple. Cos the courts assume them as matrimonal assets. Not that I'm so xian shi that I find out liao ok.. it's the hub's occupational hazard.
then you win hands down for sure...hehheh.
Eh.. I don't know if it is exactly the same in sing but I think as long as the assets are acquired during the marriage, even though they are not in your name, they have to be split up between the couple. Cos the courts assume them as matrimonal assets. Not that I'm so xian shi that I find out liao ok.. it's the hub's occupational hazard.
blessedmommy
Active Member
kiki
yah not only that, dun find husb who is the bao bei of the mother! aiyoh lagi headache! always wanna stick to him one leh!
yah not only that, dun find husb who is the bao bei of the mother! aiyoh lagi headache! always wanna stick to him one leh!
milkyway18
Active Member
hmm... tactful? i'm not tactful at all leh.. i will say wat i want to say but of cos only to hb lah.. watever i dont like abt my mil or sil, i will just tell hb.. but he also bo chap type.. just listen and nv do/say anything lor.. so i just grumble at him only... haha
i also can't cook, don't really how to do housework.. wash clothes using washing machine now also kanna my mil's comments... but i heck care.. i just do wat i want still. So when have my own house, i'll slowly learn.. i'm willing to learn.. but like Girly says, yi san bu neng chang er hu, so i dont take it as my house lor
Ling,
i think u can apply to add ur mil to the ban list when the IR opens. Think there is something like that.
i also can't cook, don't really how to do housework.. wash clothes using washing machine now also kanna my mil's comments... but i heck care.. i just do wat i want still. So when have my own house, i'll slowly learn.. i'm willing to learn.. but like Girly says, yi san bu neng chang er hu, so i dont take it as my house lor
Ling,
i think u can apply to add ur mil to the ban list when the IR opens. Think there is something like that.
delfine
so ur hub is a lawyer?? hmm..i also don't know leh, serious..bt then for sure when the hse is under others name (other than hub) and we are juz an occupant there, there's really nothing to split lor...say the hse under mil's name...we are living wif mil, in future if hub divorce me, 100% confirmed cannot get a share of the hse de mah...u get what i mean??
so ur hub is a lawyer?? hmm..i also don't know leh, serious..bt then for sure when the hse is under others name (other than hub) and we are juz an occupant there, there's really nothing to split lor...say the hse under mil's name...we are living wif mil, in future if hub divorce me, 100% confirmed cannot get a share of the hse de mah...u get what i mean??
Mamato6Js,
Hehehe.. I think you meant that message for Ling. Agree with you about the sisters part. My dad had 5 sisters and my mum went nuts trying to live with them.
Hub's the only child but here the kids move out of the parents' house when they are 18 here. So they are quite independent and the mothers are also not so clingy. My MIL is quite nice but can be too direct at times. Still can tahan!
Hehehe.. I think you meant that message for Ling. Agree with you about the sisters part. My dad had 5 sisters and my mum went nuts trying to live with them.
Hub's the only child but here the kids move out of the parents' house when they are 18 here. So they are quite independent and the mothers are also not so clingy. My MIL is quite nice but can be too direct at times. Still can tahan!
chellechelle
Active Member
mamato6, delfine...
now i really believe in the saying.. xiang1 jian4 hao3 tong2 zhu4 nan2.. For those who are lucky, once move out le.. things will be better.. for me, theres no where to run. unless......
sometimes it feels like i'm screaming at the top of my voice for help but there seems to be no one to help or no way out..
Just hope i dun fall into depression... I also wana be a happy mummy leh but circumstances dun allow.
Bb.. mummy is so sorry for everything.. so sorry to let u be born in such circumstances. Mummy really want to be happy so u can be happy to but its really very very hard for mummy. Forgive mummy ok? But most impt of all, Mummy still loves u alot. U are mummy's little precious..
now i really believe in the saying.. xiang1 jian4 hao3 tong2 zhu4 nan2.. For those who are lucky, once move out le.. things will be better.. for me, theres no where to run. unless......
sometimes it feels like i'm screaming at the top of my voice for help but there seems to be no one to help or no way out..
Just hope i dun fall into depression... I also wana be a happy mummy leh but circumstances dun allow.
Bb.. mummy is so sorry for everything.. so sorry to let u be born in such circumstances. Mummy really want to be happy so u can be happy to but its really very very hard for mummy. Forgive mummy ok? But most impt of all, Mummy still loves u alot. U are mummy's little precious..
blessedmommy
Active Member
girly
i know what u mean. esp we as housewives hor. if hub really divorce us wait we end up wiith nothing! i also will go find out abt this kinda things!
delfine
yes sorry i meant for ling! aiyah whatever it is we still can tolerate our mil no matter how nasty they r lah as long as we dun stay tog!
i know what u mean. esp we as housewives hor. if hub really divorce us wait we end up wiith nothing! i also will go find out abt this kinda things!
delfine
yes sorry i meant for ling! aiyah whatever it is we still can tolerate our mil no matter how nasty they r lah as long as we dun stay tog!
chellechelle
Active Member
milkyway..
really? we can do that? will have it worked out with hubby then if thats the case.. thanks!
really? we can do that? will have it worked out with hubby then if thats the case.. thanks!
milkyway18
Active Member
Ling,
u check it out... think there is some hotline to call also for those pple with family members who are gamblers and need help. i recall this advert of a man and his daughter, his daughter holding her piggy bank and the man says it will be his last time and he will return his "winnings" to her.. something like that?
u check it out... think there is some hotline to call also for those pple with family members who are gamblers and need help. i recall this advert of a man and his daughter, his daughter holding her piggy bank and the man says it will be his last time and he will return his "winnings" to her.. something like that?
Girly,
Yep. Know what you mean. If the house is under your hub and mil's name for example. Then you are entitled to half of the part of your hub. If the house is totally not under any of your names then tao tiah already lor.. then will be complicated.
For example, if the house is under the wife and the hub's names and they decide to divorce. The house would have to be split up but of course cannot split up like this section is mine or that section is yours. So if the wife wants the place, she has got to pay the hub his share of his house in cash... or vice versa if the hub wants the house. If both parties don't have money to pay the other party, then the house has to be sold and split up. Me no lawyer and this is not sing law hor but the guidelines are agaration the same I guess.
Yep. Know what you mean. If the house is under your hub and mil's name for example. Then you are entitled to half of the part of your hub. If the house is totally not under any of your names then tao tiah already lor.. then will be complicated.
For example, if the house is under the wife and the hub's names and they decide to divorce. The house would have to be split up but of course cannot split up like this section is mine or that section is yours. So if the wife wants the place, she has got to pay the hub his share of his house in cash... or vice versa if the hub wants the house. If both parties don't have money to pay the other party, then the house has to be sold and split up. Me no lawyer and this is not sing law hor but the guidelines are agaration the same I guess.
blessedmommy
Active Member
ling
dun say that. ur baby knows u love him very much. u r troubled also because of the fact u r now a mother and u want to give baby the best and protect him. that is the very nature of a mother. i think if its not becos of baby u will also will still close one eye right. if u need to complain there r many listening ears here ok
dun say that. ur baby knows u love him very much. u r troubled also because of the fact u r now a mother and u want to give baby the best and protect him. that is the very nature of a mother. i think if its not becos of baby u will also will still close one eye right. if u need to complain there r many listening ears here ok
chellechelle
Active Member
Thanks mamato6..
ya.. I love bb very much n esp even more since i lost one last yr. Bb mean even much more to me now.
Thank u all for being here for me, to give me encouragements n advise.
I'm still rather emotional n have been crying on n off the whole of today and even now as im typing this. I also didnt eat much today. Just took bread only. No appetite, not hungry.. just made myself eat a little for bb's sake..
bb's kicks now are the only motivation for me to move on n wait for hubby's return. Dun worry, with bb in me, I will persevere de..
Thank u all once again.. Me now goin for my shower n get something for dinner.. i tot my MIL cooked but guess it was not for me.. nothing on the dining table n she's not home le..
Talk to u all later.. Thank u!
ya.. I love bb very much n esp even more since i lost one last yr. Bb mean even much more to me now.
Thank u all for being here for me, to give me encouragements n advise.
I'm still rather emotional n have been crying on n off the whole of today and even now as im typing this. I also didnt eat much today. Just took bread only. No appetite, not hungry.. just made myself eat a little for bb's sake..
bb's kicks now are the only motivation for me to move on n wait for hubby's return. Dun worry, with bb in me, I will persevere de..
Thank u all once again.. Me now goin for my shower n get something for dinner.. i tot my MIL cooked but guess it was not for me.. nothing on the dining table n she's not home le..
Talk to u all later.. Thank u!
Ling,
Think Milkway is right about there being a ban list. Would be great if your mil can be on such a list. I thought if you go to the casinos you also have to pay $100 or $200 to enter just for citizens? But I guess that's no deterrent to a hard core gambler.
As you said, the child didn't ask to be born and you have to try to give this child the best environment to grow up in. Sometimes when you are very pek chek, the situation looks really bleak but after a while, maybe it's not as bad as it seems. Just try to keep the $$ from the MIL. Remember that your hubby loves you and is working hard for the three of you. You are not alone ok?!
Think Milkway is right about there being a ban list. Would be great if your mil can be on such a list. I thought if you go to the casinos you also have to pay $100 or $200 to enter just for citizens? But I guess that's no deterrent to a hard core gambler.
As you said, the child didn't ask to be born and you have to try to give this child the best environment to grow up in. Sometimes when you are very pek chek, the situation looks really bleak but after a while, maybe it's not as bad as it seems. Just try to keep the $$ from the MIL. Remember that your hubby loves you and is working hard for the three of you. You are not alone ok?!
chellechelle
Active Member
milkyway..
dun tink we'll have to do tis at tis pt of time cos she haven really gone to that extend i guess.. I tink now she just gambles with what she earns n what hubby's giving her. But of cos i wont cross out the possibility that she wont need help at all la.. when things starts to go worse, I'll tell hubby to take action lo..
dun tink we'll have to do tis at tis pt of time cos she haven really gone to that extend i guess.. I tink now she just gambles with what she earns n what hubby's giving her. But of cos i wont cross out the possibility that she wont need help at all la.. when things starts to go worse, I'll tell hubby to take action lo..
chellechelle
Active Member
yep thanks delfine...
I will always remember that hubby loves me n bb...
I will always remember that hubby loves me n bb...
<font face="Comic sans ms"><font color="0000ff">Ling,
I guess most of e stuff hv been said earlier by e other mummies & hope u wld be feeling much better now.
Guess yr DH is very lucky to hv a wife like u. If I'm in yr shoe, my MIL/DH wld hv gana from me *hahaha*
I'm those who will just speak my mind if tere's anything I dun like. If I'm in yr shoe now, I will definitely jus do it my way lor. Tt's why when I get married, my mum already predicted I sure cannot get along w my MIL.
Actually my MIL is a ok person if u dun stay w her. She really quite sayang my DD lor. She will cook tonic soup & ask my DH to bring DD over for dinner. Will always buy those cutie stuff for my DD.
And she has nv ask us for any allowance even when my FIL was not working & bumming ard @ home. Only time we talked bout money was when she asked for S$1k + a maid to look after my DD. Only tink is she treat me like as if I print $$ lor. When we go out, she will ask to take cab if DH is not w us. Den everytime "HINT" me to buy those expensive stuff like hp, jewelery for her & bring her for holiday. Mayb bcuz I'm not related to her by blood bah.
I tink u can put it nicely to yr MIL tt u dun wan to tire her out by asking her to cook for u & care for BB @ nite. Hence it will be better for u to hire a confinement nanny. But due to e lack of space in yr hse, it will be best for u to do yr confinement @ yr mum's place. Tink when she will b happy to hear tt u r actually thinking for her health lor..
Another thing is I tink it will be better for yr DH to tell MIL personally bout e reduction in allowance. If not later yr MIL might tink u pocket e xtra S$200. It pays to be careful.
OH and next time if u come to Sembawang, give me a buzz den we can meet for coffee *hee*</font></font>
I guess most of e stuff hv been said earlier by e other mummies & hope u wld be feeling much better now.
Guess yr DH is very lucky to hv a wife like u. If I'm in yr shoe, my MIL/DH wld hv gana from me *hahaha*
I'm those who will just speak my mind if tere's anything I dun like. If I'm in yr shoe now, I will definitely jus do it my way lor. Tt's why when I get married, my mum already predicted I sure cannot get along w my MIL.
Actually my MIL is a ok person if u dun stay w her. She really quite sayang my DD lor. She will cook tonic soup & ask my DH to bring DD over for dinner. Will always buy those cutie stuff for my DD.
And she has nv ask us for any allowance even when my FIL was not working & bumming ard @ home. Only time we talked bout money was when she asked for S$1k + a maid to look after my DD. Only tink is she treat me like as if I print $$ lor. When we go out, she will ask to take cab if DH is not w us. Den everytime "HINT" me to buy those expensive stuff like hp, jewelery for her & bring her for holiday. Mayb bcuz I'm not related to her by blood bah.
I tink u can put it nicely to yr MIL tt u dun wan to tire her out by asking her to cook for u & care for BB @ nite. Hence it will be better for u to hire a confinement nanny. But due to e lack of space in yr hse, it will be best for u to do yr confinement @ yr mum's place. Tink when she will b happy to hear tt u r actually thinking for her health lor..
Another thing is I tink it will be better for yr DH to tell MIL personally bout e reduction in allowance. If not later yr MIL might tink u pocket e xtra S$200. It pays to be careful.
OH and next time if u come to Sembawang, give me a buzz den we can meet for coffee *hee*</font></font>
<font face="Comic sans ms"><font color="aa00aa">Very long nv see Flower4 & Princessxiaomei online hor... Wonder how they are doing</font>
<font color="0000ff">Ling,
Was sharing w DH bout yr situation & he offer a <font size="+1">鬼点子</font> as he also dun feel gd bout yr MIL doing confinement for u. He said later end up, u give e $$ liao den still nobody to cook for u or help u.
Ask yr mum to gang up w u all & said tt she has already paid e deposit for confinement nanny and will be paying for everything lor.
I know it's bad to lie but hor hv to tink of yrself & BB 1st lor. </font></font>
<font color="0000ff">Ling,
Was sharing w DH bout yr situation & he offer a <font size="+1">鬼点子</font> as he also dun feel gd bout yr MIL doing confinement for u. He said later end up, u give e $$ liao den still nobody to cook for u or help u.
Ask yr mum to gang up w u all & said tt she has already paid e deposit for confinement nanny and will be paying for everything lor.
I know it's bad to lie but hor hv to tink of yrself & BB 1st lor. </font></font>
chellechelle
Active Member
jenifur...
yea.. i guess aside from the odds.. with all the help i get here n aft a nice shower, I do feel better le. Just finished my dinner too..
Well, Im always more on the quiet side since young and I hardly speak my mind straight at the person's face. I would normally just draw myself away from him/her de.
I tink many MIL's are ok when u dun live with them ba cos they wont get in ur way in a sense. (But this wont happen for my case.) To them they'll prob feel that we're taking their son away from them. But to us, we just dun want them to interfere in the way we run our little family. We have our way of living too. They have had their chance of managing their home n we want ours too. We too want to have a say in how things are done.
I dun tink I can make myself talk to her now.. I just dun wish too. I'll prob say the wrong things or i might even flare up or cry. just not in the mood to talk to her.
As for her allowance, will try drag till she opens her mouth ba. Hubby also didnt tell me when to give her when i asked him. He say he also duno. Then if she asks why i give her only $800, i just say i duno lo.. She not happy or what she sure will wait for my hubby n ask de. So i guess the truth will be out by then lo. I dun have to explain anything to her as long as my conscience is clear. (haha.. i really dun wana talk much to her le)..
So, u live in Sembawang too? My mum stays near Sun Plaza.. Sure, will let u know if im there..
Thanks!
yea.. i guess aside from the odds.. with all the help i get here n aft a nice shower, I do feel better le. Just finished my dinner too..
Well, Im always more on the quiet side since young and I hardly speak my mind straight at the person's face. I would normally just draw myself away from him/her de.
I tink many MIL's are ok when u dun live with them ba cos they wont get in ur way in a sense. (But this wont happen for my case.) To them they'll prob feel that we're taking their son away from them. But to us, we just dun want them to interfere in the way we run our little family. We have our way of living too. They have had their chance of managing their home n we want ours too. We too want to have a say in how things are done.
I dun tink I can make myself talk to her now.. I just dun wish too. I'll prob say the wrong things or i might even flare up or cry. just not in the mood to talk to her.
As for her allowance, will try drag till she opens her mouth ba. Hubby also didnt tell me when to give her when i asked him. He say he also duno. Then if she asks why i give her only $800, i just say i duno lo.. She not happy or what she sure will wait for my hubby n ask de. So i guess the truth will be out by then lo. I dun have to explain anything to her as long as my conscience is clear. (haha.. i really dun wana talk much to her le)..
So, u live in Sembawang too? My mum stays near Sun Plaza.. Sure, will let u know if im there..
Thanks!
chellechelle
Active Member
jenifur..
I do have my own savings n hubby knows how much. Since we're together, he's forbidded me to touch it. Not even to help out during our wedding when he was kinda short. He always tell me to save that for a rainy day. He will provide for me so dun have to use my own money. I tried a few times to wana fork out to help him but he will get angry one..
So, if i use that money, he sure will know de. n by tt time, he will just thing that I xian1 zhan3 hou4 zou4 n he might not listen to me when i explain to him then on..
Thank ur hubby for me for that solution anyway..
I do have my own savings n hubby knows how much. Since we're together, he's forbidded me to touch it. Not even to help out during our wedding when he was kinda short. He always tell me to save that for a rainy day. He will provide for me so dun have to use my own money. I tried a few times to wana fork out to help him but he will get angry one..
So, if i use that money, he sure will know de. n by tt time, he will just thing that I xian1 zhan3 hou4 zou4 n he might not listen to me when i explain to him then on..
Thank ur hubby for me for that solution anyway..
chellechelle
Active Member
ya.. very long nv see them le.. nv see sheryn also..
<font face="Comic sans ms"><font color="0000ff">Ling,
No... u still tell yr DH bout it. e lie is for yr MIL den u jus use yr $$ to pay e deposit now since yr DH is traveling& claim back from yr DH later. Not asking u to lie to yr DH.
Yupz I stay in Sembawang too... I'm staying @ Admiralty Link. Will PM u my hp no... Tink Rach stay in Yishun which is v near to Sembawang. We can always meet up for coffee den u wun feel so sian lor</font></font>
No... u still tell yr DH bout it. e lie is for yr MIL den u jus use yr $$ to pay e deposit now since yr DH is traveling& claim back from yr DH later. Not asking u to lie to yr DH.
Yupz I stay in Sembawang too... I'm staying @ Admiralty Link. Will PM u my hp no... Tink Rach stay in Yishun which is v near to Sembawang. We can always meet up for coffee den u wun feel so sian lor</font></font>
chellechelle
Active Member
oh ya.. guess what? my MIL came back at 7 plus just now while i was bathing n ask me if i wanted to eat or not.. she say she cook..
Just told her no nid, I bought my dinner le.. Also told her not to cook for me tmr n on sun. I hack liao.. I dun nid her to cook for me la.. I'd rather cook myself or pack food. Hubby ard, she tell him its not that she dun want to cook but she duno what to cook. Then now hubby not ard, she come home at 7 plus then say wana cook.. By the time she finish cooking what time liao?
Just told her no nid, I bought my dinner le.. Also told her not to cook for me tmr n on sun. I hack liao.. I dun nid her to cook for me la.. I'd rather cook myself or pack food. Hubby ard, she tell him its not that she dun want to cook but she duno what to cook. Then now hubby not ard, she come home at 7 plus then say wana cook.. By the time she finish cooking what time liao?
chellechelle
Active Member
jenifur..
oic.. hmm.. i wont have to use my savings to pay for the depo la.. i got access to hubby's account so can just pay from there. I can try but i doubt hubby would agree to it.. Ultimately, he will still ask why i die die dun want his mum to my confinement. So, i will still have to talk to him first n get a common understanding. Then he can talk to him mum.
Okies.. I got your mail le n replied via sms le. Thanks for offering company. Really appreciate it.
oic.. hmm.. i wont have to use my savings to pay for the depo la.. i got access to hubby's account so can just pay from there. I can try but i doubt hubby would agree to it.. Ultimately, he will still ask why i die die dun want his mum to my confinement. So, i will still have to talk to him first n get a common understanding. Then he can talk to him mum.
Okies.. I got your mail le n replied via sms le. Thanks for offering company. Really appreciate it.