(2009/05) May 2009 MTBs

Re: MIL/PIL issue
audrey, anyway hubby is stil their sons.. i agree with shers, just give and take lar, of course they would want the best for their kids like how we want others to treat our kiddos well.. u just need to discuss with your hubby your own way of living.. if they give comment, just listen, if not to your likings, just keep quiet..

Shers,
Too bad even if i am sahm, both ILs and parents are not in sg, cant run errands unless the 2 tag along.. or any mummy here can babysit for me haha! I am desperately looking for hourly help if i become sahm hehe..

Audrey
Y your appt is stil once in 3 wk? mine has been biweekly since wk 28 ler.. will be seeing gynae this fri..
 


Shers
U mean the babysitter willing to help out for few hours like that ar?
I am staying at delta ave (near river valley)..
 
re:mil & dil
me2. I marry only & fav son. hubby thks i'm being fussy but I feel like kena control whenever they get chance. hubbies dun seem to understand the dil dilemma/issue, in fact they also may contribute to it by insisting DIL accomodate the IL. hoping I can avoid stayig with then. I prep myself to be villain if have to be else everytime must accomodate. most time I like rc_cola - just quiet only, avoid talking to them, give monosyllabic answers. I find its easiest way. I did try talking to them before but they insist on own way, tell their long story or patronising. no point ah.

audrey
scary lah if baby look like IL. *faint*
they talk so much for baby #1 look like their side ( when its not true!) already make me #$#$!@$


joyce
I c. thx. ok have to prep birth plan then.
 
cheyanne,
so sorry to hear that... my condolence to ur family.. pls stay strong! for the sake of bb and everyone ard u including ur mum.. i believe she certainly hope that u are doing well and growing strong.. take care.. hugs..
 
rc_cola,
i also dunno why leh.. when i was 33 weeks, she said the next appointment will be when i'm 36 weeks..so 2 more weeks then i get to see gynae again. i hope i dont pop before that haha.

actually i was thinking if i have a son, and if his wife bully him, i sure scold her! i won't let my son get bullied haha. that's why i never say anything to my mil because i think i will be more protective than her hahaha.

i think when bb is born, i will truly understand what a mother's love is.. cos now i see his mum love him so much i feel uncomfortable.. i will understand when i see my own bb and watch her grow up..

porky
my mil from marriage til now, will leave my clothes in the laundry basket and will wash everyone's clothes except mine.. den i ask my hubby why.. he said he dunno. den he go and ask her haha. she said because ur wife clothes looks expensive.. cannot mix with our old old clothes.. so now i bring home all my clothes to my mum to wash haha.

since marriage until now, every tues and wed i go back to my mum to stay.. and weekends also with my own family..

cos i teach at my own area on those days so easier for me.. so each time i go home, i bring my laundry back
happy.gif


i think i also very sensitive.. little bit only i will think she is against me..

my grandma until now still sayang my uncle very very very much so i think its very normal. at least now when i keep myself in my room, i got this forum to chat with all the mummies and cheer up
happy.gif


if got nothing to do, i will talk to bb inside my tummy and watch her move n move.
happy.gif
 
re mum & MIL's help:
agree wi shers, though im a SAHM, but i also depend quite alot of my mum's help when i gave birth my #1, coz was inexperienced and needs lots of moral supports at time esp when hubby very busy at work...

rc cola,
haa! same here! both parents not here wi me at Beijing, so currently im one-man-show wi my near 18th mth boy, sure very tiring esp heavily preggie now.. with #2 comes along, we will engage a nanny to help out, coz my #1 boy is so so active and a newborn need much attention also.. hope i can breastfeed longer this time round.. only manage to bf #1 for a year coz realised preggie then...
 
Hi

Nursing Bra:
Lily: Compasspoint Metro Impression Brand got
lace Nursing Bra @ S$ 12.90. the aunty got
give me free padding.

cheyanne: Do take care for both u & lovely BB.
 
audrey, ya loh..i think next time i will also very sayang my own son...but now we are very sensitive when we see our mil so sayang and spoilt our hub...i try not to talk back at her also...sometimes is very hard lah since we staying together in a mini house...i cant always stay inside my bedroom right...my hub also dote my mil a lot..can see one...got once he bgt my mil fav "Pong Bing" then ask my mil to eat...then my mil will eat and left 1pc..i ask her why, she say she wan to keep for my hub to eat...haiz...in the end, the pong bing gone rotten..cos both of them keeping and waiting for each other to eat...
 
Audrey, dayC

PILs issue are never ending.. just remember that they are the parents of our hubby so we gotta respect them. Everyone will have different characters and mixing up with elderlies are never easy, just give and take, and close 2 eyes if possible.. once we are mummies (some of us are!), we will understand how protective parents are over their offsprings.. cheer up, I have learnt a lot of give and take ever since MIL and FIL come and take care of my girl for us. In any
case, they are getting old, and age caught up with them, think they wont have enough energy to take care of both my #1 and #2, after long consideration with hubby, decided that i will be the caregiver for them.. and fil and mil can be together again with MIL serving FIL of course
happy.gif


Dun bear grudges, dun treat them bad as we will get our own retributions next time
happy.gif
we have our own kids, and one day will become sb else's MIL, and I hope that next time my DIL will also be good to me (dun hate me please) haha!
 
Dodo
Now stil in beijing? coming back for delivery or will deliver there?
One man show is not easy hehe.. for me i wont be engaging any help, coz with single income, we need to manage finances carefully.. and make sure the level of savings are still maintained as per what we do now.. hahah we save first before spend.. so after saving, we got not much to spend
happy.gif


Time flies one, in a blink of eyes, they will soon be schooling and perhaps by that time i can work again, when they dun need a lot of my attention.. hope i wont be too old to come back to workforce say in another 5 yrs time haha! not forgetting my hubby wants #3 in 2012..keke
 
hi regine, so u found the Impression brand ah..i got the one without lace at $9.90 will drop by compasspoint metro to try on the lace one this thurs after my gynae vist..hehe
 
cola, too far already.. dont think so.. the babysitter stays at bukit batok.. but i think there are such services provided.. can search through the webbie.. engage through agency is better and safer esp if u want the carekeeper to stay in yr house when u run errands
 
re cola,
yup, will back to spore 11 apr (my 34 weeks then).. dun wana deliver here at BJ coz even their international hospital cant assure me leh..

same here! save first then spend... that's why im a "low-maintenance" mummy.. haa! except that now need to indulge on more nutritious foods, last time round i really very low maintenance.. hee :p

and hopefully i got enough BM! coz FM is so exp now and bringing them over to BJ is a big headache also..

yes, i wana work when they are ready for sch as well... omg, think our hubbies same same leh, he said if there's a #3, he wans a rabbit :p
 
audrey

I also have similar PIL problem like u. My hubby father is an indonesian do business one. b4 marry he intro a gal to him indonesian business fre daughter to him. but end up communication problem so didnt get together. After we ROM (Didnt have any former wedding banquet non customary wedding, just indoor wedding photo taking.) becos we put all money into our new house cos dun wan take from parents money for wedding n house Reno. At the mean time, his Grand mum have a fall n hospitalise for 3 mth. during that time i take off at 3pm rush everyday to hospital to feed her porriage or noodles cos both hand was in pain n his mum didnt even come down to take care of her since she not working(stay home wife). When his Grandmum was abt to pass away , i was told by his relative that how come i treat my MIL rude plus ask me whether I not scare of 'Retribution'. I was totally shock becos I have been a gd wife n DIL n always call her n so n help her take care of her MIL n really dun know why she treat me this way. After that we will than instruct by his mum to move out from her house within a week while our house still under reno.(Reno painting n drilling all done by us to save Cost). N worst have to return her , her house key. My hubby was v sad. N they didnt even contact us for 2 yrs. N suddenly, my hubby dad's fre daughter (the one intro to my hubby) come to singapore. My hubby 's Dad tell my hubby to fetch her to popular places using my vehicle...ect. n help her look for jobs.Like treat me transparent.without asking my permission. But luckly my hubby didnt do that. cos i did explain to him that i dun wan her to come into my family. I scare his parents will tell my husband to take her in to stay with us while she is in singapore.

Now I am pregnant, my PIL did treat me diff. Better now. but i do afraid that once they know my BB is a gal instead a boy when my gynae make a mistake initially. how do they response.

I just will stick to myself that whether is a gal or boy is still my precious BB.

So everyone have their own PIL problem. Hee
 
Hi porky

Thanks for ur recommandation i happen to be at sengkang yesterday so tell my hubby to drive me to compasspoint to buy. I didnt see the S$ 9.90 one u mention only the lace one. so i just take an go. hee

Do ask the aunty abt the padding cos she did give me.
 
hi liping,

yeah everyone has their PIL problem. i think this is something cannot avoid one.. but i know some get along very well and all live happily together.

yeah whether bb is girl or boy, is still ur child and is very precious. as long healthy can already. next time can always try for a boy or girl again
happy.gif


shers
i was looking at all the facebook photos.. u look like andrea d'cruz.. the actress at mediacorp! haha!
 
Hi audrey

I do envy those fres that get along with their PIL . Hee hope sooner or later they know that i was still a gd wife n DIL. cos even my parents also cant tahan the way they treat me. Same to my surrounding fres n Hubby. At least he know.
 
rc_cola,
my mum not stay in sgp
happy.gif
but i ask her to come here to help me during confinement n cos i also need her company when time to give birth. My MIL frm first already told my hubby she cant help cos she got high blood pressure. For me its ok ... only hubby, me n my mum can already
happy.gif
Im not have any conflict with my MIL.

Audrey,
just think better ur MIL not do laundry for u so u not owe her anything right. Me also do my laundry n iron by my self
happy.gif
 
Dodo
Ho ho i am also very low maintenance, no pedi-mani, no spa, no facial (except buying some face masks from watsons :p)..
eating habit wise okay lar, once in awhile will eat nice food hehe.. travelling wise is also okay, part of savings will be used for holiday expenses hehe both me and hubby loves to travel..

Ya agree fm so exp! so i hope to breastfeed as long as possible keke.. but hubby said breastpad and mum's milk and electric bill for the pump also very exp *lol* haha! anyway bm is the best for baby compared to fm.. if can, try to just breastfeed as long as possible.

Oh you are coming back in april, ya sometimes it's better not to trust china's hospital too much!! be wary hehe
happy.gif


2012 is rabbit ar? i thought it's dragon? i told hubby, y do u want so many kids? he said the more kids you have the more luck you will get, what an old man thinking!!!! :p

Shers
Thanks for the webby, i will browse thru first and see if it is usable in the future
happy.gif


Liping
Just close both eyes regarding PIL issue anyway they are so far from you rite? :p

Piggypig
Oh no i cant remember when i did the CTG during my #1, i think somewhere in 37 wks.. hm.. u check with your gynae better

Lily
My mum will come once i deliver, but she cant come too long.. haha she is a nagger interms of confinement rules, worse than my MIL hahaah!! this cannot that cannot... oh mummy mummy, she didnt know her daug didnt comply to the rule kekeke!!
 
juz back from lunch -- gosh, the auntie think i m feeding for 2 pax and gave me so much rice!! and i finish all *faint*

cheyanne, my condolences *hugs* do take good care of yourself and bb!

shers, can u PM the contact of the nanny in bukit batok? we still have not decide who will look after our bb after my 4-mth ML...

re: IL
lucky i dun hv to stay with my IL now... but hubby is eldest son, maybe after his siblings r married, IL may move in with us... well, will juz enjoy 2-person world now
happy.gif


my mum complained that i m staying too far from her (jurong west & sengkang) -- else she can look after my bb. haiz, when we bought our love nest (right across the road from my IL's place), I thot MIL will help look after our bb. later then found out MIL told hubby she dun wanna babysit bb *faint* so now, i always joke that hubby "tricked" me to move to "ulu" jurong west :p
 
Shers
I agree that your look is very comforting
happy.gif
hehehe..
I didnt read the fatter version andrea de cruz thingy, must re-read haha!

Now our thread got 2 "xing ma"
Adrienne = liu ruo ying
shers = andrea de cruz
keke
 
Re: Confinement

I had some conflict with MIL during my #1 confinement, else we are in good terms. I bought cotton balls for washing bb face and eyes. I was shocked to learn that my MIL use cotton ball to clean BB's mouth! I told my HB never put small object into bb's mouth, can only use hanky, what happen if put in and cannot take out? After telling her, she still continue to do her own way and nagged at me. My HB asked his mum not to stay overnight at our place. From day 4 onwards, I bathed baby and washed bottles on my own. My MIL only cooked for me.

After confinement, we were back to normal. This coming confinement, MIL couldn't take leave to help me.
 
conforting = fat??? whahhaa...

i put on 10kg so far and still counting.. whahaha..

i heard alot of pple say that 2nd time wldnt be able to lose weight as easily as 1st.. i'm crossing fingers on that..

adrienne looks like an actress, not me!!! dont put that XING MA on me!!! DONT!
 
re: mil
i think our problems with our mil with "go away" with time. as times go by, we get used to each other's nonsense. i also think that my temper and wilfulness have tamed down over years. i used to feel very unfair when she insisted that her daughter has her own place when she married and her son had to live with her. i was thinking i'm also someone else's daughter, so shouldn't i also have my own place. i suppose it quite difficult to love someone as your own. i still love my mum more than her.

i've been married for almost 9 years and i think we have developed some form of understanding and tolerance towards each other. i suppose she recognise that i may not care for her son the way she wished for, but i'm doing too bad a job either. and she must have brought her son up in some right ways for me to choose and marry him.

if i don't like something that she said or did, i just tell my hubby and let him deal with her. we expect our parents to be spoiling our boy so we will be adopting the same method - we will speak to our respective parents. easier and less conflict. our own parents won't hold grudges over what we said that much.

audrey - just think of the nicer things that she had done for you, or those things that she had done for your hubby so that you don't have to do them.
 
Lily

CTG is a scanning to measure the contractions and also how active your bb is. its a device strapped on your tummy, and normally u will be ask to lie down for about 20 mins and there will be chart on the paper.. my gynae's device has a knob for us to press when bb kicks :p dun worry it's painless process, just lie down hehe

During delivery, the CTG scan will be strapped on to you until you deliver out your bb hehe (or taken off when u are pushing - cant remember).. dun worry it's painless process, just lie down hehe
 
Lily I bought the disposable panties Impression brand from robinsons expo sale. Maternity size. they look very comfortable. You can try.
 
adv_sports

My mum helped me look after my #1 for a year. I stayed in bedok with #1 for a year, only returning home to CCK every weekend. Currently my SIL is taking care of my #1 in CCK during the day since my mum broke her leg when my #1 turned 1. Will move back to bedok together with both children after confinement for at least half a year then will move back to CCK as my SIL could only take care of my #1 as her daughter is taking O level this year. Hopefully by end of this year, I could sell my current flat and move nearer to my SIL's place within walking distance so that it's not so rush for me in the morning and evening. BTW, I'm working in Simei, travelling from CCK takes an hour by mrt.
 
shers
not fat la i saw ur fb photos. haha but u look like her. my mother also say. cos i told her i made a lot of new friends then i show her the photos den she say wah all the mummies so modern so pretty one.

den she say u look like andrea d'cruz.

lily,
i haven't pack yet. but i write down what i want to bring.. disposable panties i buy from moms in mind.. and beaute de spring at bugis.. same price.. 3.50 / 3.60 for 5 cotton panties..

i don't intend to pack my sanitary pad cos i dunno which brand to buy.. use kkh one first if not enough i ask hubby run downstairs to the shop at kkh to buy the madam pureen one.. 40 pieces for $11 haha.
 
lily, just digged out the dirty bag for washing last nite.. i will pack next week.. also left the disposable panties havent buy yet..

i will buy mine at kiddy - for maternity use..

long time ago, i posted the hospital bag list.. hope it helps
 
audrey, maybe just standby many many pads because u might not feel comfortable with the maternity pads. i hate it!!! its like having a soft rod in between yr a**

hahahha
 
Audrey

Can just use the normal sanitary pad you have been using after the one supplied by KKH run out. Use the one for overnight type to play safe.
 
regine, tat time i bgt the one w/o lace is at the central area downstairs..not at 2nd floor lingerie dept...so i think is on promotion one...ok, i will rem to ask the auntie for the paddings..tks !

lily, so like dat i dunno my mil will think that i owe her or not leh...cos before she ask me..she already wash/iron my clothes...then i tell her next time i will do it myself...but she say my tum so big liao...better dont bend down loh...

adv, enjoy as much as u can now ! we only get to enjoy 6mths before mil officially move into our lovenest...then is no longer couple life liao...do everything must ask mil including dating alone with hubby...hehe, not all mil willing to look aft their own grandchildren de loh
 
hi ak,
yah i also had the same thinking - i am also someone else's daughter..

but she really did bring my hubby up very well cos he's very filial, very respectful. better than me in every aspect. he is more polite to my mum than me.. haha
happy.gif


but she is also quite nice at times.. she know i like to eat prawns then she cook specially for me during my birthday and tell everyone cannot eat except me.. (anyway my hubby allergic to prawns hahaha)..

but sometimes i feel sad if i have the feeling that she dont like me.. when she smile at me, i always feel happy.. but when she sulky, den i will think wat i do wrong now.. den my hubby will say i'm too sensitive.. his mum is just tired n grumpy..

so i learn to take things positively, and not everything is because of me haha!
happy.gif
 


shers, jasC,
ok i stick to my normal overnite pads.. i heard maternity pads very rough haha. den can cause abrasion haha
happy.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

R
Free Pro-Bono Counselling Sessions
Replies
0
Views
95
Ria Aris
R
G
Highly Recommend Auntie May - Truly like a mother & God’s send to our family
Replies
0
Views
218
Gentlewomenssg
G
S
Looking for confinement nanny (Twins) in May 2025
Replies
1
Views
1K
colormebeautiful
colormebeautiful
L
Looking to Connect with Fellow Mums
Replies
2
Views
1K
Mommy J
M
A
Should Singapore extend the age limit for elective egg freezing?
Replies
1
Views
324
Angelica Cheng
A

Back
Top