(2008/12) December 2008 MTBs

sam - i will choose divorce if he doesn't provide much for baby. i will suppose the court will force him to come out $ every mth to support the baby.

Santorini - ya.

llig - he said he is looking for work. haiz, but i don't know lah. even when he is working, he also have the strength to shout at me. ur results seem like u have anemia eh?

bubble pearl - i never find the environment good to bring up a kid. that's why i brought out the adoption issue. during 1st yr of marriage, my hb beat me b4, he got push me down and my leg got a scar till now. i also don't have a good childhood, that's why not sure how to bring up a happy kid. i really don't feel any joy in this pregnancy, so bad that i have always been crying.

dee - i'm not in contact w my family or relatives. i think that's why he can take advantage of it as he has no in-laws to account to for my welfare. i went to US alone for 10 days last yr, but it didn't help after i come bk.
 


llig,

Really? OOS till Jan 09? wow. Either it's damn popular or they didn't bring in many sets. It's still better to wait for it here .. at least you'll get a guarantee from Mothercare .. if u buy from Australia, and it gets damaged in transit or u get a faulty set ... difficult to change. Jan 09 isn't too far off ... baby will be about a month old just nice to take out in the Vibe ...

juzyounme,
while I'm not encouraging you to run to the divorce courts just yet .. sometimes, it's for the best .. my in laws stayed married for the sake of staying married .. it was an awful marriage .. in the end they got divorced late in life .. too late to find a new life partner ..
 
Juz: Not sure if this is a right time for u to have the thought of divorce. Are u prepare to bring up this baby single-handedly? But i really admire your strong courage to endure everything despite that u're pregnant now.

Lets wait after the baby is born out first, who knows, he might change 100%. Let your in-laws know all the problems u're facing, perhaps they can help change him.
 
Hello Ladies
I was on leave yesterday. Had cramps in the night and thus yesterday was too tired to get up for work. Plus I noticed that after the crampy feeling is gone, I'll get sharp pain at the pelvic bone area when i walk.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing my doctor. Really hope the situation will be good
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Juzyounme
If you husband still behaves like a kid and yell at you, contact AWARE. They may be able to help you in counselling him or provide a place for you till you give birth. The last thing you need now is constant stress. If I were you, he will be out of my life long long time ago. Thank goodness you're strong
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snowger...if rebond but the hair has grow out till shoulder length they are still eligible...when will you start to take your maternity leave? wan a appointment during your ML so now you dont need to take leave..
 
sam - i thot ur in-laws married coz of love, especially that they r of different races. usually pple of different races marriage seem to work harder to get acceptance from others and cross more obstacles.

lavendery - if i choose divorce, i may or may not choose to be the caregiver of the kid.
 
llig,
sorry din follow up but how come u need to do blood count test? Read more here on how to help ur body absorb iron! http://www.healthcastle.com/high-iron-diet.shtml

Interestingly, I didn't know that Red Wine, Coffee & Tea, Vegetables such as Spinach, chard, beet greens, rhubarb and sweet potato, Whole grains and bran plus Soy products are iron absorbtion inhibitors???

juzyounme,
Wah u go to US for 10 days? Must hv spent quite a bit of money right? I'm thinking of going to US someday oso. But sure burn big hole in pocket...

Anyway, marrying a guy is a life choice we hv to live with. Knowing how he is like, we made the choice to unite in matrimony. Thou we can complain whole day n nite (I do since my hb still irriates me smtimes), we still hv to work to make things work. The best lesson we learn is how to make better choices in future n be strong for the little life to come.
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LuthAdel,

I agree with you. If my hubby was like that, I would've left long ago. My tolerance level is very low. Especially with men like that. NO support, love and care AT ALL. What is the point of being married to someone like that?

You have been really patient, Juzyounme. It's really admirable but please don't let it backfire on you. You don't need this kind of stress right now.
 
Ivy,
me not taking ML early (i.e. before I pop). Wan to keep as many days as possible to spend with my little one... Okie, like tat I will ask them.
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Luthadel,
Good luck for the appt tmr! Pray for u manz... Keep us updated ok!
 
ya juzyounme, but their cultural differences proved to be too strong .. it didn't take long for their marriage to run aground. I think my hubby was barely 2 years old when my MIL RAN OFF cos she couldn't tahan my FIL who was at the time an alcoholic. SHE LEFT HER BABY WITH AN ALCOHOLIC !! I was appalled quite frankly. nothing on earth would make me leave my babies behind if I were leaving my hubby. She left cos he would beat her when he was drunk.

sigh.

Marriages break down for so many reasons .. while I agree with snowger that we must make an effort to work out our differences, if only ONE party is making the effort .. then how is anything going to be resolved?

I am not of the opinion that marriage is "till death do us part" if the guy is SHITTY. I don't want to have a miserable existence with someone like that just cos I HAVE TO STAY MARRIED.
 
LuthAdel - thanks for the contact, will remember the contact. i don't think i'm strong, but i "endure" better coz i have a father who beat me nearly every day and a mother keep asking me for $ since i was a kid. i'm actually less upset and stress staying with my husband then staying with my family.

Snowger - that time no plans for pregnancy or studies, so spent like $1.7K on air ticket & another $700 on expenditure there. i scrimp a lot, and even when i was there i tried to have instant noodles n snack bars most of times. but i never regret going leh, pple there r more humane and weather is better. after going there, i don't really want to be bk to SG. it also have to depend on which city or state u r going to.

sam - no, i'm not a patient person. i do shout back... and of coz if i can find a better guy, i will leave. ur MIL ran off then still come back to her baby what. i know of some1 whose mum left coz her husband got 4 wives... and leave her... and the mum remarried.
 
juzyounme
If I were u, i will divorce him but of course easily said than done but on the other hand, you are still young, don't think yr hb will change loh - jiang shan yi gei ben xin nan yi. Somemore, he hit u.
 
Btw, anyone has made a will before and familiar with making a will? Any advice for minors below 21 yrs old, must the joint executors of minor's share be same as joint guardians of the minor? If no idea who to appoint, can leave it to the state? Can it be just 1 guardian instead of joint guardian? my AIM is to ensure $ doesn't go to my hb but to son.

winnie - i also don't think he will change much, not as optimistic as other mums. ya, but i also don't know which guy is willing to take me in after that.
 
Thanks sam, 2nd baby & llig.. most prob i'll go see GP tomorrow and take MC.. hehe.. long holiday man..

Juz.. u're my idol man.. can tolerate for so long.. I've got a friend who's almost in the same situation as u.. in the end, she chased her husband out of the house coz this guy simply refuse to get a job.. never provide for their daughter.. beat her up when they quarrel.. everyday slack at home and watch dvd.. hoping to stike 4d and $ fall from the sky.. see already also pek chek.. After she chased him out, things got better and he actually started to work.. so i guess some guys just need someone do something drastic to make them wake up to their senses...

Rdg will, I'm not so sure.. If you're talking abt insurance policies, if u intend to leave the $ to someone below 21, u need to have a trustee to "look after" this amt of $ for the person. The trustee can actually use the $, so gotta be careful who u put..

LuthAdel.. take care wor.. dun walk ard so much..
 
Sam,
I totally agree with u. A marriage is like a pair of hands (it takes 2 to tango). But I know gals who marry for what i think r wrong reasons (e.g. escaping fr family - sm of the MTBs noe I hv someone close to heart who did tat) or think that "He will change for me cos he loves me". *Sigh*

Anyway like u n luthadel, I hv extremely low tolerance towards such things. Me dumped all my bfs early in e rs. Once can't tahan, they r goners... I will not hesistate to leave my marriage (but w my bb) if things dun work out. :p
 
juz,
why dun u get someone who is certified to write wills to draft one for u at a minimal charge? Then they can also advise u appropriately. Hv to go thru some legal procedures n witnessing to make it effective. My FIL is certified to do it. If u need contact just PM me.

Ivy,
I will check my email ltr... :p Office can't access the email.
 
juzyounme
you never know. i have 1 new colleague who is in her 30+. had a girl age 18. have a good boyfriend so initially thought she is not married.
 
juz,

dun get too upset. n try not to cry so much. it will affect the baby's emotion after birth, n he will tends to cry a lot. frankly speaking, i m more towards luthadel, sam n snowger's opinion that if ur hb does not change, it's better for u to leave him. build a new life for urself n ur son. do not worry whether u will hv new partner ot not. most important is u r happier than now, n give ur son a happy life.

n if ur hb does 'abuse' u again, go n make police report. protect urself. do not let him bully u.
 
juz,

ur current house, it's under joint tenancy or tenants in common? if joint tenancy, if anything happen to u, ur share will go to ur hb automatically. u gotta change the type of ownership in order to pass it to ur son.

as for will, u need a legal person to do it for it to b effective under the law. make sure there's no loop hole for ur hb to manipulate ur money.
 
Juz,

U can actually ask ur MP for advice. They do provide free legal advice. U will need a lawyer to draft ur will.

How long do u think u can take his nonsense?? I would have dumped him a long time ago... let alone marry him!! No man is better than this kind of man...

Now most impt is to take good care of urself so that ur son will come out healthy... When both of u are healthy... less expenditure...
 
phyl, i remember u saying that before u wash ur bb clothes, u will let ur washing machine to run a cycle to clean the machine first? How to do it ah? Can teach me?

I plan to wash all bb's stuff pretty soon cos looking at weather, seems to be rainy days heading here soon.. better wash now else later cannot dry..
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Juzyounme, ya my MIL only came back after nearly 2 years!! My FIL tracked her down and he persuaded her to come back and take care of their son. The marriage wasn't a happy one .. they had separate rooms etc. When she came back, my hubby was about 4 I think .. he didn't recognize her of course.

Anyway, once a marriage has come to that point, no point staying together just for baby's sake .. the kid can feel it growing up .. that his parents aren't happily married ..
 
Yeah, I got company... Emeraldbride oso haven wash clothes. I oso doing this weekend. Pray Saturday dun rain! Sun come out and shine brightly at my bb's clothes! :p

I think Phyl put clorex (without clothes) and let the washing machine do one full round wo clothes. Me handwashing!
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I still asking ard for hand me downs(HMD). Anyone of u dun even hv 1 pc of HMD?
 
sam,
I get wat u mean. While it is not healthy to hv kids grow up with parents divorced. It's bad if not worse having kids grow up with parents who dun love each other/are waiting to get blood out fr each other. Kiddys are sensitive n most of the time they dun say. But u will notice the sudden outburst of no-rhyme-or-reason violent emotions fr them... Really sad...
 
yeah, snowger .. my hubby had sleep walking problems growing up. he was very stressed by his home situation. they were always blaming each other for things.
 
snowger, me lor!! Not even a single item for myself and bb is HMD.. Pardon me for saying this but i dont really like HMD. My parents say as long as can afford y let baby wear 2nd hand clothes though old ppl say wear HMD is good lar but me not pantang type one lar..hahaha.

Handwash ah? How to handwash baby's towel etc etc? So heavy leh.. hahaha..BB's clothes, hankies can lar..diapers, comforter, blanket, towel, i cannot ah.. over weekend I clean the house i alr very tired. Last nite clean my room alr very tired also..clean till 10plus at nite leh.. i even push out my bed to vacuum and wipe..hahaha
 
Emeraldbride: You can pour white vinegar or just bleach into the machine. Let it run one full cycle...this is how you can "clean" a washing machine.
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I didn't handwash any of my baby's stuff. I dumped EVERYTHING into the washer...haha...just remember to separate the whites from the coloured items.


Snowger: I don't have any HMD for newborn...the only HMD that my boy will have are the cloth nappies (muslin squares)! Haha...All his clothes are new.


I'm going for another checkup on Saturday...very excited cos i'll be able to see Preston again!!!
 
I tink i will juz use normal washing powder to let it run 1 full cycle. I dont feel good pouring clorox or vinegar into my washing machine (afraid the drum will get rusty leh).

Pris, how many weeks are u now? How often u see ur gynae? Now mine is once every 3 weeks. Then will be every week liao leh..so fast hor
 
Snowger, all my bb clothes are handme down..so far..i only bought 7 pcs of rompers and towels..

Pris, so fast go see gyna ah? I am still going every 3 weeks..
 
haha..bubble, i only buy less than 10pcs of clothing for my baby. Enough to last him for first 3 mths..kekeke.

The remaining clothes, abt 5pcs are for 6mths n above one..so i dun hv to wash them first.
 
Jessie/Snowger,
Thanks for the links. I'm not vegetarian but not a huge fan of red meat either so that's the problem. Am trying to buck up.

Juz,
Seriously, when it happens again (either verbal or physical abuse), get it reported. Go thru police or AWARE. AWARE will definitely help you and should also have legal contacts. You need to think for 2 people now..you and your son; its not fair to your son that you are used to it and choose to stay on. Like you said, you want a happy baby and step one to this is a happy mummy.

Sam,
Mothercare called me this pm. Stock for Vibe will be in by mid-Dec. And they're bringing in the booster seats (yippee!!) in Jan. Have decided..going to just get it locally since its so pricey and getting a warranty is important.

That reminds me...
<center><font color="blue">Anyone here a Gold card member of Mothercare and willing to share?</font></center>
 
i am still seeing my gynae in 4 weeks....next appointment is 18 nov...and maybe after that i might deliver soon...

snowger...you checked your mail already?
 
Emeraldbride: Don't worry...Bleach or vinegar won't spoil your machine drum. Vinegar is a very mild acid...and besides, the water will dilute everything.


Bubblepearl/Emeraldbride: I'm 33 weeks 1 day! I've been seeing my gynae every 2 weeks since i was 27 weeks!
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After the next checkup on Sat, i'll be seeing her weekly.


Llig: I only have the ordinary VIP membership card for Mothercare....will that help?
 
Hi,

im mommy from Aug'08.. im selling My Breastfriend pillow (breastfeeding pillow).. Bought at $68 selling $40.. Used twice only as i mostly express out. Interested can PM me.
 
hey all.. wah.. damn busy these days sia.. i cant wait to be on leave! i just got to bear 2 more weeks! arghzz.

Anyway today go orchard robinson and see strollers there are quite a number of strollers leh! and its 20% off! till next month, if im not wrong..

After looking at so many strollers me and my mum felt babyplanet(tiger) stroller not bad! would want to buy it. i felt quite stable. usual price is 300+ then after discount should be 200+ ba. so i think im going for it! =P

xuelyn sorry i miss your post, no i dun have any recommend. and i dun think im going to take my tummy liao. cus no point leh.. i will take after baby come out lor. then at least is worth for the money too. now i think take. just take using hp can liao lolx.
 
morning ladies
buzi at work whole dae ydae so unable to 'sneak' in. hehe.

llig
ur HB is pretty low. any family history of anemia or thalessmia? im thalessmia minor so my HB is lower dan normal ppl. try to take more red meat n abit of liver. take all in moderation k. helps to increase level abit. don move around too quickly as well. eg from lying to sitting or standing position. take care ah. =)

btw, i got ordinary VIP card for mothercare. =p

juz
reali admire ur patience sia. ur hb 'abuse' u? if he does, get a PPO against him to portect urself n baby k.

u manage to get polyclinic referral le ma? =)
 
hihi.. morning ladies,

yesterday was my final event of the year!! yippee!! glad its over..

hubbie has gone outstationed and will be back saturday nite.. so scary, first time home alone tonite.. miss him already.. haha.. absences makes the heart grows fonder??

emeraldbride, i put about 1 capful of clorox then i let my washing machine run at abt 40degrees celcius.. my machine has hot and cold options ma.. me no HMDs also.. was looking for some.. but ppl my age are not married or have kids... haha.. or at least my circle of friends la.. i handwash my maxi cosi only.. everything else i dump into the washer.. including the pillow n bolster..
 
phyl
lolx its always like that.. when ya hub not around you will miss him liao. if he is around we tense to take them for granted lolx. so happy after my hub is coming back today! after his 1 week business trip. lolx Dun worry. very fast he will be back just keep yourself busy sleep early it will be next morning. Hahaha
 
Haha... your hubby go japan rite.. sure buy u something nice for u one la..

i not tan xing.. i told my block of wood i wanna eat chewing gum.. keke.. so tell him to buy some for me... but bet he wont buy one la.. keke..
 
yesterday night just reprimanded my hubby..though we staying together..but only see each other at night after he work...which is about 11+ then i told him off cos he i feel he neglected me. instead of talking, he can sleep or play games...its like we only have time for each other for half hour everyday...

but i feel bad after scolding him...think that he is just tired from work needs to sleep and relax yet i scolded him...
 
llig,

I'm not a gold card member of Mothercare .. but I thought the VIP membership or any kind of membership cards can't use to get a discount on car seats, strollers at Mothercare?

Instead of waiting till mid Dec ... have u tried Mothers Work at Tanglin Mall ? They also have PHil and Teds .. First Few Years at Paragon may have it too.
 
Juzyounme,

You manage to get a referral from polyclinic? When is your next appointment?

I just got my delivery bill from KKH, under B1 class.

Normal delivery package 920.00
Gynae fee + Vacuum assisted birth 1,140.60
Delivery suite charges(up to 12hrs) 98.00
Drugs/Prescriptions/Injection 173.92
Ward procedures (Anaesthetist Fee
for epidural + others) 470.04
Other Miscellaneous Items 156.50

Sub-total 2,959.06
7% GST 207.12

Total 3,200.42
Medisave -2,162.84
Deposit -870.00

Balance 167.58


I think my bill is quite cheap, considering I almost used up all facility for normal delivery. End up besides the deposit, the cash amount I got to pay after delivery is only $167.58, which is the GST amount actually. xyzxxx%^&amp;**%#. Haha...

I think if you shift to B2 or C class and have a normal delivery, you dun need to fork out cash for deposit or after you deliver.

Let me know if you have further query.
 
Morning ladies!!!

Fabbie, is the 20% applicable to the whole Robinsons store? Wonder if the BabySafe pillow case and bolster case arrive liao. I was thr on Monday and they ran out of stock!! hahaha..

I still tinking shuld buy car seat first or buy stroller first or even buy pupsik sling first. Me still waiting for pupsik sling spree leh
 


snowger and emeraldbride, me here to accompany u also... hehe, i also havent wash my baby's stuffs. have already sorted out the clothings. will wash 0-3mths and 3-6mths (some cuttings are small) 1st, will not wash the bigger size clothings 1st.

iemik0, the binder still no stock?
 
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