(2008/11) November 2008
- Thread starter bladers
- Start date
tunapuff77
Active Member
Yes darlest, tell us wat problems u have.. many mummies here can give advise . I m sure can solve de.
little_jewels
New Member
Darlest,
Come what may, it's your baby that we are tlaking about. It's a life... a life created jointly by you and hub. Please do tink through this very very wisely. Throughout my life, I have met 2 persons who aborted their own baby due to circumstances in their life. At that time, both had serious circumstances that did not allow them to keep the child. Both regretted their decisions till today and will carry that emotional scar for the rest of their life. Whenever they past by any children, they will tink about the child they lost. How the child will look like, what he/she will be, etc.
This is tremendously tough decision. One which I had to make not too long ago. Financially, emotionally, physically... I am totally spent! Exhausted! There are months where things are super tough. Be it balancing my finances, my time, whatever. Nevertheless, I have never regretted keeping my precious baby Janessa. Whenever I look at her now, I cannot imagine that I once had tots of aborting her.
So please... discuss this with your hubby. Whatever decision you make., remember... it will have an impact on both your lives forever yah. Meanwhile, take care. Be Strong!
Come what may, it's your baby that we are tlaking about. It's a life... a life created jointly by you and hub. Please do tink through this very very wisely. Throughout my life, I have met 2 persons who aborted their own baby due to circumstances in their life. At that time, both had serious circumstances that did not allow them to keep the child. Both regretted their decisions till today and will carry that emotional scar for the rest of their life. Whenever they past by any children, they will tink about the child they lost. How the child will look like, what he/she will be, etc.
This is tremendously tough decision. One which I had to make not too long ago. Financially, emotionally, physically... I am totally spent! Exhausted! There are months where things are super tough. Be it balancing my finances, my time, whatever. Nevertheless, I have never regretted keeping my precious baby Janessa. Whenever I look at her now, I cannot imagine that I once had tots of aborting her.
So please... discuss this with your hubby. Whatever decision you make., remember... it will have an impact on both your lives forever yah. Meanwhile, take care. Be Strong!
Liv,
have fun! Krabi is so beautiful! bet u will come back with a nice tan
Darlest
congrats to you! Well, as I nvr keep track of this thread, i am not sure what are the serious problems you are facing that you are considering giving up this baby.
ermm...are you :
1) teenage unwed mother?
2) mistress with illegitimate child?
3) on the verge of going through a divorce due to failed marriage?
4) After you found out you are preggie, boyfriend decides to dump you...
5) took some medication that will affect baby badly
6) already have 4 to 5 kids already and can't imagine having more due to time, financial etc..?
heehee... honestly, as what Jo said, there will definitely be regret in the future as you may find it very hard to forgive yourself whenever you think about it if you terminate this healthy pregnancy. Hope you will be able to reach a decision that suits you and family best. Good luck
have fun! Krabi is so beautiful! bet u will come back with a nice tan
Darlest
congrats to you! Well, as I nvr keep track of this thread, i am not sure what are the serious problems you are facing that you are considering giving up this baby.
ermm...are you :
1) teenage unwed mother?
2) mistress with illegitimate child?
3) on the verge of going through a divorce due to failed marriage?
4) After you found out you are preggie, boyfriend decides to dump you...
5) took some medication that will affect baby badly
6) already have 4 to 5 kids already and can't imagine having more due to time, financial etc..?
heehee... honestly, as what Jo said, there will definitely be regret in the future as you may find it very hard to forgive yourself whenever you think about it if you terminate this healthy pregnancy. Hope you will be able to reach a decision that suits you and family best. Good luck
liv,
I think he cant stand baby cries especially middle of the night.
I wld say when Lucas was a newborn, he cries for milk only. But the first few mths, my hb is almost suffering from headache every morning. Middle of the nite, my hb will attend to him for awhile while I prepare the milk then he goes back to sleep ... but this causes bad headache for him everyday. So he dreads.
I think he cant stand baby cries especially middle of the night.
I wld say when Lucas was a newborn, he cries for milk only. But the first few mths, my hb is almost suffering from headache every morning. Middle of the nite, my hb will attend to him for awhile while I prepare the milk then he goes back to sleep ... but this causes bad headache for him everyday. So he dreads.
3Jems
ya, the china chinese eat almost everything, but certainly not us the sporean chinese. too bad the angmo always associate us with them... haha
Liv
I'm half dun wan only, but mayb ok. my hub almost certain said dun wan. my mil oso negative - she said 1 enough lor, mayb she very scared to take care i tink, haha
ya, the china chinese eat almost everything, but certainly not us the sporean chinese. too bad the angmo always associate us with them... haha
Liv
I'm half dun wan only, but mayb ok. my hub almost certain said dun wan. my mil oso negative - she said 1 enough lor, mayb she very scared to take care i tink, haha
tunapuff77
Active Member
3jems, when i see ur msg to darlest, i wanna cry
then when i see Kash's, i wanna laugh..
haha
okokok, going back liao! Going to rain
then when i see Kash's, i wanna laugh..
haha
okokok, going back liao! Going to rain
little_jewels
New Member
Jes,
hahahah... same same lah. We also group all the ang mohs together leh. Whether they are from Aussie, Europe, U.S., they are all ang mohs.
When I was studying in Aussie, got 1 ang moh student always like to paraphase his question with:" why do you all chinese like to.... blah.. blah.."
Then got once I ssoo pissed off, I told him off:"eh eh... dun anyhow always point finger say 'you chinese' 'you chinese' hor. Please be specific which chinese. Anyway, not like you all ang mohs all berry saintly like angels hor!" *lolz*
hahahah... same same lah. We also group all the ang mohs together leh. Whether they are from Aussie, Europe, U.S., they are all ang mohs.
When I was studying in Aussie, got 1 ang moh student always like to paraphase his question with:" why do you all chinese like to.... blah.. blah.."
Then got once I ssoo pissed off, I told him off:"eh eh... dun anyhow always point finger say 'you chinese' 'you chinese' hor. Please be specific which chinese. Anyway, not like you all ang mohs all berry saintly like angels hor!" *lolz*
Darlest
there was a time when i also tot of wat will happen if i get pregnant again.. becos i'm really not ready and prepared to go thru tt again, will i abort it?? Once i did it during my fertile period i almost freaked out and nex day i went to get Morning after pill in order to prevent any possible pregnancy.. But frankly speaking if 1 day i accidentally get pregnant.. with the fetus inside my womb i may not abort it afterall.. cos i may not bear to do so then.. Besides whenever i see small little bbs outside i always watch with adore.. hahaha.... i'm a contradict freak
there was a time when i also tot of wat will happen if i get pregnant again.. becos i'm really not ready and prepared to go thru tt again, will i abort it?? Once i did it during my fertile period i almost freaked out and nex day i went to get Morning after pill in order to prevent any possible pregnancy.. But frankly speaking if 1 day i accidentally get pregnant.. with the fetus inside my womb i may not abort it afterall.. cos i may not bear to do so then.. Besides whenever i see small little bbs outside i always watch with adore.. hahaha.... i'm a contradict freak
my MIL & my parents cannot help to look after my gal.. if happen to heard abt my MIL & FIL's stories, am so glad tat they are NOT looking after my gal.
my parents old liao.. moreover they are taking care of my nephew.. & this is their time to travel ard the world, to "xiang fu"..
so no one is helping me..
when i engage a lousy confinment lady tat time & i asked her to get lost in the middle of the nite, i force myself to learn on my own to take care of my baby & dun rely on others..
& i have so my many plan now but no #2 plan..
my hb might be posted to philipines for 2 years this year.. if im preggy, how am i going to cope alone there? & i need to travel back & forth to spore just to see Dr joycelyn wong..
if i stay in spore w/o hb, i dun think i can cope also..
furthermore, im working from home, i have a biz to take care.. imagine, i have to cope with my pregnancy, my biz, my gal, housework & lastly my hb.. i think i will break down...
currently i already had my hands so full & tight...
every since i suspect im preggy.. i feel so stress & unhappy... everyday, im struggling.. i know im inhuman to think of getting rid of it.. but how am i going to cope...
maids.. i dun trust maids.. no maids pls.. maids are nothing but trouble..
my parents old liao.. moreover they are taking care of my nephew.. & this is their time to travel ard the world, to "xiang fu"..
so no one is helping me..
when i engage a lousy confinment lady tat time & i asked her to get lost in the middle of the nite, i force myself to learn on my own to take care of my baby & dun rely on others..
& i have so my many plan now but no #2 plan..
my hb might be posted to philipines for 2 years this year.. if im preggy, how am i going to cope alone there? & i need to travel back & forth to spore just to see Dr joycelyn wong..
if i stay in spore w/o hb, i dun think i can cope also..
furthermore, im working from home, i have a biz to take care.. imagine, i have to cope with my pregnancy, my biz, my gal, housework & lastly my hb.. i think i will break down...
currently i already had my hands so full & tight...
every since i suspect im preggy.. i feel so stress & unhappy... everyday, im struggling.. i know im inhuman to think of getting rid of it.. but how am i going to cope...
maids.. i dun trust maids.. no maids pls.. maids are nothing but trouble..
Darlest
these may not help to solve ur problems but still no harm looking into it:
1. If u din join ur hubby and move back to ur parents place, they can help out while not feeling overwhelm cos u're ther and the main caregiver for ur kids.. But at least there are someone around to lighten ur burden a bit here and there..
2. If ur hubby can afford to support u, is it possible to giv up ur biz at least for the timebeing..
these may not help to solve ur problems but still no harm looking into it:
1. If u din join ur hubby and move back to ur parents place, they can help out while not feeling overwhelm cos u're ther and the main caregiver for ur kids.. But at least there are someone around to lighten ur burden a bit here and there..
2. If ur hubby can afford to support u, is it possible to giv up ur biz at least for the timebeing..
Darlest : Understand ur feelings and stress u are going thru. I got my ger after being married for only two mths even when preventive measure was made. I had many plans , plus my job needs to outstation a lot plus getting promotion, didn't want my child to be taken care by my parents , didn't want my mil to stay wif me cos I promise my husband tat my mil will stay only if I got a child, didn't want maid cos still need to adapt to another strangers, there are so many things I didn't want
...
However, my husband told me tat I should give others a chance and since fact tat we had our child , I should think of how to adjust my plans , mindset and starting planning how to welcome our child.
So I gave up my job role, postpone my plans, adapting to my mil ( at times still very frustrated), let my parent take care of my ger on certain days cos I dun want maid so only can do house work when ger not around and study.
Things turn out well and my ger is the most wonderful possesion I have.
If I got #2 again even when I used preventive measure, I will still welcome he/she. however , if I didn't want #2 yet didn't used measure then it is my fault and I need to be responsible for it. Cannot be enjoyed already, got it already then think of getting rid of it. The child is not a toy but life growing in u . Sorry for being harsh but this is a serious matter.
Please think about it.
...
However, my husband told me tat I should give others a chance and since fact tat we had our child , I should think of how to adjust my plans , mindset and starting planning how to welcome our child.
So I gave up my job role, postpone my plans, adapting to my mil ( at times still very frustrated), let my parent take care of my ger on certain days cos I dun want maid so only can do house work when ger not around and study.
Things turn out well and my ger is the most wonderful possesion I have.
If I got #2 again even when I used preventive measure, I will still welcome he/she. however , if I didn't want #2 yet didn't used measure then it is my fault and I need to be responsible for it. Cannot be enjoyed already, got it already then think of getting rid of it. The child is not a toy but life growing in u . Sorry for being harsh but this is a serious matter.
Please think about it.
tunapuff77
Active Member
Argh.. typed so much on my mobile n stupid browser force close. Kns !
tunapuff77
Active Member
Type type type until wanna puke, then lost. Argh.. ! Later reach opic , make kopi, then type again.
Darlest,
So these are ur problems ... peanut has made a good suggestion as to stay with ur parents .. somehow u still have help.
If you wish to be with ur hb, why not u stay in SG till u deliver and after ur confinement, fly over to ur hb's side with ur kids. Else, you can send ur #1 to childcare (for this, u really need to learn hw to let go) so u can handle #2 and ur biz at home.
Sorry but frankly speaking, these problems are not so bad that u need to give up #2.
So these are ur problems ... peanut has made a good suggestion as to stay with ur parents .. somehow u still have help.
If you wish to be with ur hb, why not u stay in SG till u deliver and after ur confinement, fly over to ur hb's side with ur kids. Else, you can send ur #1 to childcare (for this, u really need to learn hw to let go) so u can handle #2 and ur biz at home.
Sorry but frankly speaking, these problems are not so bad that u need to give up #2.
good morning!!
nice meeting up with the mummies last evening.. hee..
Darlest, i know i am not u.. but to me, those problems u said are not life & death issue that u cannot solve/adjust/sacrifice... Lucia is right, "Cannot be enjoyed already, got it already then think of getting rid of it. The child is not a toy but life growing in u" ;p
nice meeting up with the mummies last evening.. hee..
Darlest, i know i am not u.. but to me, those problems u said are not life & death issue that u cannot solve/adjust/sacrifice... Lucia is right, "Cannot be enjoyed already, got it already then think of getting rid of it. The child is not a toy but life growing in u" ;p
tunapuff77
Active Member
How was the steamboat dinner?? Pix in FB plsss... 
tunapuff77
Active Member
Darlest, can your hubby give up the post in Philippines? How will it affect his career?
Sorry huh... is his work religion related? Like priest or smthg?
If u can travel to Cambodia's orphanage to offer help & support, i find it contradicting to take away a life u created urself.
Believe in yourself. All you need is courage and some sacrifice.
Sorry huh... is his work religion related? Like priest or smthg?
If u can travel to Cambodia's orphanage to offer help & support, i find it contradicting to take away a life u created urself.
Believe in yourself. All you need is courage and some sacrifice.
Good morning mummies.
Thanks for all your concern and suggestion. Finally the gers flu is gone, only left with the cough to deal with. (All along, I rub Baby Vic vapour on their sole, wear socks for them and a tiny bit on their throat. Then I saw you mummies mentioned rubbing a little on their chest, guess it helped with the nasty flu that lasted for 3 weeks. Should have posted for help earlier.
The bad thing is, the flu have come to me hahaha. But at least I would be that grouchy as them.
How was the dinner with so many mummies? Got take picture?
Jo/Lilian,
Quoting my aunt: "前世相欠，今世才会结为夫妻" Hope they can meet together in their next life too. The dead are dead, it those living that suffers.
Thanks for all your concern and suggestion. Finally the gers flu is gone, only left with the cough to deal with. (All along, I rub Baby Vic vapour on their sole, wear socks for them and a tiny bit on their throat. Then I saw you mummies mentioned rubbing a little on their chest, guess it helped with the nasty flu that lasted for 3 weeks. Should have posted for help earlier.
The bad thing is, the flu have come to me hahaha. But at least I would be that grouchy as them.
How was the dinner with so many mummies? Got take picture?
Jo/Lilian,
Quoting my aunt: "前世相欠，今世才会结为夫妻" Hope they can meet together in their next life too. The dead are dead, it those living that suffers.
little_jewels
New Member
Good mommies,
Lucia, Liv, Peanut, Alibaba, Jo, Minky and Fifi...
It was greating meeting up with you all. Paiseh had to leave early... end up waiting for cab together with Lucia for long time. Gave up and finally called for one. When I reach home, 'fire' already put out and everything under control. hahahaha...
Snnowy,
Glad your gals hv recovered. Continue to rub the baby vicks to ease their coughing. Also, if you have air purifier, now is best time to use. Add in some Eucalyptus oil + open all doors and windows to clean out the air in your house. For me, as added pre-caution, I always use Dettol Laundry Sanitiser to wash all my clothes to kill the germs and bacteria. Rest well babe... and take care yah.
Lucia, Liv, Peanut, Alibaba, Jo, Minky and Fifi...
It was greating meeting up with you all. Paiseh had to leave early... end up waiting for cab together with Lucia for long time. Gave up and finally called for one. When I reach home, 'fire' already put out and everything under control. hahahaha...
Snnowy,
Glad your gals hv recovered. Continue to rub the baby vicks to ease their coughing. Also, if you have air purifier, now is best time to use. Add in some Eucalyptus oil + open all doors and windows to clean out the air in your house. For me, as added pre-caution, I always use Dettol Laundry Sanitiser to wash all my clothes to kill the germs and bacteria. Rest well babe... and take care yah.
tunapuff77
Active Member
hope can join u girls next time
little_jewels
New Member
Darlest,
Eerrmm... if these are problems, I find that they are not insurmountable. It just involves more re-planning and working around the issues. Some plans may just have to shelved to make way for #2. In addition, both you and hub gotta be strong and rise up to the occassion. This is a huge decision as it involves a life here. Should you want to give up #2 just for these reasons... eerrmm... that would really be super unwise.
I know it's easier said then done... but then again, I've gone what you've described above with worse circumstances. Imagine, both hub and me out of job, limited cash flow, no maid and no family support at all due to politics. I too was overseas on my own with hub, dragging a small toddler with #2 in tummy. Life tough as hub needed to concentrate on his stuffs leaving me to cope with everything in a foreign land alone. But we pulled thru and never once did we decide to abort our own flesh and blood. In fact, our family life has only grown stronger. Looking back, we are amazed at how far we've come and always thank God for seeing us through our terrible period of 'darkness'.
End of day, like my hub always tells me:" God never gives you a problem too big that you cannot solve and handle. When he has chosen to bless you with a baby, he will take care of everything. This has been true in my life till today. Things are still not a bed of roses but ultimately, at the end of the day, it's my family that counts! The lives that both me and hub have created counts! Our girls are our greatest blessings and we love them to bits.
Be wise with your decision. Remember... if others can do it before you.... so can you! Be strong! Be courages! Move with the challenge, savour the adventure and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Eerrmm... if these are problems, I find that they are not insurmountable. It just involves more re-planning and working around the issues. Some plans may just have to shelved to make way for #2. In addition, both you and hub gotta be strong and rise up to the occassion. This is a huge decision as it involves a life here. Should you want to give up #2 just for these reasons... eerrmm... that would really be super unwise.
I know it's easier said then done... but then again, I've gone what you've described above with worse circumstances. Imagine, both hub and me out of job, limited cash flow, no maid and no family support at all due to politics. I too was overseas on my own with hub, dragging a small toddler with #2 in tummy. Life tough as hub needed to concentrate on his stuffs leaving me to cope with everything in a foreign land alone. But we pulled thru and never once did we decide to abort our own flesh and blood. In fact, our family life has only grown stronger. Looking back, we are amazed at how far we've come and always thank God for seeing us through our terrible period of 'darkness'.
End of day, like my hub always tells me:" God never gives you a problem too big that you cannot solve and handle. When he has chosen to bless you with a baby, he will take care of everything. This has been true in my life till today. Things are still not a bed of roses but ultimately, at the end of the day, it's my family that counts! The lives that both me and hub have created counts! Our girls are our greatest blessings and we love them to bits.
Be wise with your decision. Remember... if others can do it before you.... so can you! Be strong! Be courages! Move with the challenge, savour the adventure and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Darlest,
Like what Liv said, we are not you and may not understand what you are currently facing with but do sit down and ponder through bfore making the decision.
1) Parent/PIL can't help or doesn't want their help - Last time I also think the same way due to different mindset. PIL can be feeding prawn to 4mths old niece when I only introduce semi- solid at 6 mths. But they also brought up hubby in that manner so at the end of the day I presumme it would be better to have 1 more person loving and dopting my kid and at least it's sincere love compared to maid. (That was also when my SIL steped in and wanted MIL to only solely concentrate on her kids, end up PIL never help). But when I bring them back for visit every week or forweekly, can tell PIL really treat them so much nicer than SIL's children.
2) You mentioned "hubby might be posted to philipines for 2 yrs" - So all is not confirmed yet. You can ask him to check with his boss if he is really choosen on the list, can he defer till you gave birth or will it in any way affect him if he gave up the transfer.
3) Had a bad confinment lady - You should think it as a plus point cos you already know the skill to handle a new born, such as bathing, changing diaper and differniate the crying symptom. You know for your next confinment, if you are not prepared to get a confinment lady, then order confinment food, get a part time cleaner to come in daily for hsework and you handle the baby.
Btw, either TMC or KK provide professional confinment lady on an hrly rate if you doesn't wnat a stranger to stay in your hse.
4) By the time you gave birth, #1 is already 27 mths old, you can consider having her at part time or full time cc so that you will not be overloaded.
5) Since the home biz is yours, you can go slow on it currently while dealing with bad MS. or perhaps stop for a while till you are better in energy. Yours is recruitment biz, so you dun have to really worry abt no customer coming up to you in time you go back on biz.
Do consider what some of the mummies suggested, at the very least, there are still help around. It's only a matter if you are willing to accept and change your mindset with it. Even if u shall reject all help, I'm sure you can cope with 2 kids.
Remember women is the world most strangest creature, they will adjust and adapt themselves in the worst scerniao.
You are feeling stress, moody and unhappy because you have yet to come to term in accepting the bb. You need to assess your situation well otherwise you will resent the bb in time to be.
Like what 3Jems said, abortion scar will be imprinted emotionally and pyschologically for life and it's so true. Don't live to experience it. It diffinely not a nice feeling.
Like what Liv said, we are not you and may not understand what you are currently facing with but do sit down and ponder through bfore making the decision.
1) Parent/PIL can't help or doesn't want their help - Last time I also think the same way due to different mindset. PIL can be feeding prawn to 4mths old niece when I only introduce semi- solid at 6 mths. But they also brought up hubby in that manner so at the end of the day I presumme it would be better to have 1 more person loving and dopting my kid and at least it's sincere love compared to maid. (That was also when my SIL steped in and wanted MIL to only solely concentrate on her kids, end up PIL never help). But when I bring them back for visit every week or forweekly, can tell PIL really treat them so much nicer than SIL's children.
2) You mentioned "hubby might be posted to philipines for 2 yrs" - So all is not confirmed yet. You can ask him to check with his boss if he is really choosen on the list, can he defer till you gave birth or will it in any way affect him if he gave up the transfer.
3) Had a bad confinment lady - You should think it as a plus point cos you already know the skill to handle a new born, such as bathing, changing diaper and differniate the crying symptom. You know for your next confinment, if you are not prepared to get a confinment lady, then order confinment food, get a part time cleaner to come in daily for hsework and you handle the baby.
Btw, either TMC or KK provide professional confinment lady on an hrly rate if you doesn't wnat a stranger to stay in your hse.
4) By the time you gave birth, #1 is already 27 mths old, you can consider having her at part time or full time cc so that you will not be overloaded.
5) Since the home biz is yours, you can go slow on it currently while dealing with bad MS. or perhaps stop for a while till you are better in energy. Yours is recruitment biz, so you dun have to really worry abt no customer coming up to you in time you go back on biz.
Do consider what some of the mummies suggested, at the very least, there are still help around. It's only a matter if you are willing to accept and change your mindset with it. Even if u shall reject all help, I'm sure you can cope with 2 kids.
Remember women is the world most strangest creature, they will adjust and adapt themselves in the worst scerniao.
You are feeling stress, moody and unhappy because you have yet to come to term in accepting the bb. You need to assess your situation well otherwise you will resent the bb in time to be.
Like what 3Jems said, abortion scar will be imprinted emotionally and pyschologically for life and it's so true. Don't live to experience it. It diffinely not a nice feeling.
tunapuff77
Active Member
nuts, hehehe... u know me so well =p
I bring K home on Wed & Fri nites. I got monthly quota to adhere to mah. Ultimately is priority lah.
I bring K home on Wed & Fri nites. I got monthly quota to adhere to mah. Ultimately is priority lah.
a_n_a
Active Member
Good morning~
gathering:
Nice meeting all for the steamboat dinner.. It's yummy!! by seeing my Big & Round tummy at the end of the day.. wahaha..
i tink next gathering, i'll be hard for me liao... after #2
Darlest
i can only say, if u have plan for #2 in future.. it's not wise to terminate the one inside u. i felt it's Unfair to the little one. it's just the matter of time. Although it may be really tough to jagar one tod & pregnancy & financially. things are meant to be work out. wat are family for? they shld be able to help in some ways. however, the decision is still up to you & ur hb. hopefully u give it a chance. although i admit, having this #2 i do felt depressed sometimes.. esp nowadays my hb hasnt been by my side..although he isnt out station for 2 yrs like urs.. but i tink it's almost same to compare.. cos when he come back we aready aslp..maybe 1 day seeing each other while a wake is less than 1 hour!? i do felt that i am all alone most of the time..
I have a fren who abort once.. she regretted. nv a day she will forget this.. When she got pregnant again. her family supported her rather than her bf (now hb) & she was even prepared to be single mum that time... & now she nv regret to keep this one..
i believe if u highlight this to ur family, they wont even encourage u do the otherwise.. Do Think carefully.
gathering:
Nice meeting all for the steamboat dinner.. It's yummy!! by seeing my Big & Round tummy at the end of the day.. wahaha..
i tink next gathering, i'll be hard for me liao... after #2
Darlest
i can only say, if u have plan for #2 in future.. it's not wise to terminate the one inside u. i felt it's Unfair to the little one. it's just the matter of time. Although it may be really tough to jagar one tod & pregnancy & financially. things are meant to be work out. wat are family for? they shld be able to help in some ways. however, the decision is still up to you & ur hb. hopefully u give it a chance. although i admit, having this #2 i do felt depressed sometimes.. esp nowadays my hb hasnt been by my side..although he isnt out station for 2 yrs like urs.. but i tink it's almost same to compare.. cos when he come back we aready aslp..maybe 1 day seeing each other while a wake is less than 1 hour!? i do felt that i am all alone most of the time..
I have a fren who abort once.. she regretted. nv a day she will forget this.. When she got pregnant again. her family supported her rather than her bf (now hb) & she was even prepared to be single mum that time... & now she nv regret to keep this one..
i believe if u highlight this to ur family, they wont even encourage u do the otherwise.. Do Think carefully.
Great having e gathering last nite! Enjoy e chattings, complaints and laughters tsk tsk tsk...
Haiz.. tot by time i reached home at 10pm my rascal shd b asleep in my MIL room liao then i can hav a sleep-thru nite once in a while.. Who knows she was a cranky tod last nite.. heard from MIL she only napped from 11am-12pm yesterday then by 8.00pm she was a terror.. V bad mood and kept crying ang crying i;ve to play her fav cd at 10.30pm jus to pacify her a bit! In e end after much crying then she slept at 11pm.. -_-"
Haiz.. tot by time i reached home at 10pm my rascal shd b asleep in my MIL room liao then i can hav a sleep-thru nite once in a while.. Who knows she was a cranky tod last nite.. heard from MIL she only napped from 11am-12pm yesterday then by 8.00pm she was a terror.. V bad mood and kept crying ang crying i;ve to play her fav cd at 10.30pm jus to pacify her a bit! In e end after much crying then she slept at 11pm.. -_-"
Talking about my good boy yesterday? Was so irritated with him last nite ... he was asleep when I reached home. Middle of the nite, he called for mi so I accompanied and slept beside him. Everytime I fell asleep, heard him calling for mi again ... cldnt sleep well at all. MIL was watching TV in her room opposite and coughed ... while I was asleep again, he actually went to the door, wanting to go out. I was awaken and scolded him to get back to bed and he cried awhile. This goes on and off for 1-2hr I guess ... so sleepy today!
sobs sobs sobs.. i cant stop myself from crying after reading all the posts.. i know im a bad mummy.. sorry for being emotional.. =p
thank u mummies for all the wonderful advise.. i will definietly keep it in mind & think carefully..
lian.. when i saw so many orphans in cambodia, i cant help but crying for them, my heart all goes out to them.. i always think children are innocent, if the parents can't give their children happiness, protect them, love them, educate them, provide them lodging & food & etc, then why bring the innocent child to the world, abandon them & let them suffer??
tat's why it make me think if i cant give the best to my #2, i might even freak out before it is born.. why i bring him/her to the world..
everyday, i puke like nobody business.. eat what puke what.. my body is so weak, tired, super sleepy, drained, hungry but no appetite & nausea & no energy & yet i hav to force myself to take care of my poor gal... i have not being touching based with all my clients anymore.. everyday, im struggling.. how i wish i can just lie down & sleep all day....
lucia, i have been taking precaution measure all the while, it just tat stuipd 1 nite, i rem my ovulation date wrongly, so i end up with pregnancy. i didnt know there is a thing call morning after pill (heard from peanut), if not i sure go & buy before such things happen.. i hate myself!
anyway, glad tat all the mummies enjoy the steamboat yesterday.. how i wish i could join u all..
thank u mummies for all the wonderful advise.. i will definietly keep it in mind & think carefully..
lian.. when i saw so many orphans in cambodia, i cant help but crying for them, my heart all goes out to them.. i always think children are innocent, if the parents can't give their children happiness, protect them, love them, educate them, provide them lodging & food & etc, then why bring the innocent child to the world, abandon them & let them suffer??
tat's why it make me think if i cant give the best to my #2, i might even freak out before it is born.. why i bring him/her to the world..
everyday, i puke like nobody business.. eat what puke what.. my body is so weak, tired, super sleepy, drained, hungry but no appetite & nausea & no energy & yet i hav to force myself to take care of my poor gal... i have not being touching based with all my clients anymore.. everyday, im struggling.. how i wish i can just lie down & sleep all day....
lucia, i have been taking precaution measure all the while, it just tat stuipd 1 nite, i rem my ovulation date wrongly, so i end up with pregnancy. i didnt know there is a thing call morning after pill (heard from peanut), if not i sure go & buy before such things happen.. i hate myself!
anyway, glad tat all the mummies enjoy the steamboat yesterday.. how i wish i could join u all..
3jems, rem i share with u & peanut & liv, regards to a BP tat sells shoes of our size? we have the small feet prob.. i bought some shoes from tat BP to try it out rem & i also invite u, if u are keen, u can also come my house to see & try the shoes when the shoes arrive.
anyway, received the shoes.. it still very big for me, waste $$.. i think i shld go to those nova shop tat u mention before to buy shoes. at least i can try the shoes on instead of try & error....
anyway, received the shoes.. it still very big for me, waste $$.. i think i shld go to those nova shop tat u mention before to buy shoes. at least i can try the shoes on instead of try & error....
a_n_a
Active Member
nut/jo
izzit they angry with ur for going out & enjoy without them. so they throw tantrum... T was aslp when i reached home, woke up 7+am for milk . & today maid send him to school by public bus...& heard got great improvement.. he entered the school by himself without crying but come out crying~~~ the teacher said he cant wait to go out hence cry. -_-"" lolz
izzit they angry with ur for going out & enjoy without them. so they throw tantrum... T was aslp when i reached home, woke up 7+am for milk . & today maid send him to school by public bus...& heard got great improvement.. he entered the school by himself without crying but come out crying~~~ the teacher said he cant wait to go out hence cry. -_-"" lolz
Mummies,
Time to stock up diaper. Especially for those 2nd time mtb.
http://www.whatsupatfairprice.com.sg/pdf/FP-SM10242_ST_FPFC_BabyFair_8Jul.pdf
Time to stock up diaper. Especially for those 2nd time mtb.
http://www.whatsupatfairprice.com.sg/pdf/FP-SM10242_ST_FPFC_BabyFair_8Jul.pdf
Darlest,
It is ok to feel emotional since you are preggy.
Always rememeber this:
"A kid doesn't need expensive clothes or expensive toys, what a kid needs is the love, care, and companionship from someone who really loves them."
"A kid doesn't know how to appreciate branded stuff, but a kid does appreciate the time and love that he/she receives from their parents"
It is ok to feel emotional since you are preggy.
Always rememeber this:
"A kid doesn't need expensive clothes or expensive toys, what a kid needs is the love, care, and companionship from someone who really loves them."
"A kid doesn't know how to appreciate branded stuff, but a kid does appreciate the time and love that he/she receives from their parents"
Darlest,
I wanna share with u abt my ex-colleague. She was preggie before she got married. Her whole family were against her keeping the child but she insisted so she left her family and move to her bf's place. Then her planned 2nd child came along. Till then, she is staying with her PIL not working, SIL who is in special school and her hb earning v little every mth, nt even sufficient for his car and petrol. Then she got pregnant again with #3 and she kept it without any hesitation. Imagine she is carrying the whole family's burden on her shoulders, paying for her kids expenses, household expenses and hb's car. Not only these, she has a hb who actually beat her up badly couple of times and she cldnt come to work and once he took a kitchen knife to threaten her. Despite her family disapproval, injuries from fights w hb and heavy financial burden, she choosen to give birth to all her 3 kids.
Really hope u dun give up on the little one in u now.
I wanna share with u abt my ex-colleague. She was preggie before she got married. Her whole family were against her keeping the child but she insisted so she left her family and move to her bf's place. Then her planned 2nd child came along. Till then, she is staying with her PIL not working, SIL who is in special school and her hb earning v little every mth, nt even sufficient for his car and petrol. Then she got pregnant again with #3 and she kept it without any hesitation. Imagine she is carrying the whole family's burden on her shoulders, paying for her kids expenses, household expenses and hb's car. Not only these, she has a hb who actually beat her up badly couple of times and she cldnt come to work and once he took a kitchen knife to threaten her. Despite her family disapproval, injuries from fights w hb and heavy financial burden, she choosen to give birth to all her 3 kids.
Really hope u dun give up on the little one in u now.
Darlest
u mus b feeling terrible with the MS..
While you may feel the worst during 1st-2nd trimester, in the meantime mayb u could consider getting a part-time maid to help with houseworks so you dun need to worry abt that.. and cater for tingkat so you don't hav to cook.. Understand u mention ur parents are old and u wan them to enjoy life.. but jus to help out on your #1 for these 2-3 of mths while u rest well i'm sure they won't mind?? Unless ur #1 doesn't follow them then may b a bit difficult.. But at least with part-time maid and tingkat u hav lesser chores to do..
u mus b feeling terrible with the MS..
While you may feel the worst during 1st-2nd trimester, in the meantime mayb u could consider getting a part-time maid to help with houseworks so you dun need to worry abt that.. and cater for tingkat so you don't hav to cook.. Understand u mention ur parents are old and u wan them to enjoy life.. but jus to help out on your #1 for these 2-3 of mths while u rest well i'm sure they won't mind?? Unless ur #1 doesn't follow them then may b a bit difficult.. But at least with part-time maid and tingkat u hav lesser chores to do..
little_jewels
New Member
Darlest,
Thanks for the invite. But tink if it's still big for your feet then I'll give it a miss. Yah... go check out Noda. They hv sandals and covered shoes in our sizes. Sometimes their designs not so nice, then I'll wait. Cos their stock turnover quite fast.
Alibaba, nut, Jo,
When I got home, both J1 & J3 sleeping. Only J2 still awake and listening to daddy's iPod. But J3 berry cute lor.. when I go over to smell her and kiss her, she can briefly open her eyes, mumble 'mommy' then went back sleep. *lolz*
Lilian,
Maybe next time we organise the outing on like Tues/Thurs nites, then you got higher chance of joining us.
Thanks for the invite. But tink if it's still big for your feet then I'll give it a miss. Yah... go check out Noda. They hv sandals and covered shoes in our sizes. Sometimes their designs not so nice, then I'll wait. Cos their stock turnover quite fast.
Alibaba, nut, Jo,
When I got home, both J1 & J3 sleeping. Only J2 still awake and listening to daddy's iPod. But J3 berry cute lor.. when I go over to smell her and kiss her, she can briefly open her eyes, mumble 'mommy' then went back sleep. *lolz*
Lilian,
Maybe next time we organise the outing on like Tues/Thurs nites, then you got higher chance of joining us.
I tink Darlest's horrible MS is making her even more hesitant in keeping the child.. It makes her wan to get out from the terrible state. I'm sure if her MS is not so bad she'll find it more manageable to care for her family and thus wont b so negative abt e pregnancy..
Did Doc Wong give u any medication to ease e MS?
Did Doc Wong give u any medication to ease e MS?
Darlest:
Sorry for being very blunt but I think you are caring more about yourself, your life, your career, your husband's career (and perhaps the benefits it brings you in terms of money, etc), rather than your unborn child. I won't fault you if you were not pregnant and dun want another child but the fact is you are already pregnant and your reasons are definitely NOT valid enough to justify killing your own child.
1. Parents/In-laws: If you find your in-laws not suitable, then ask your parents. Yes they may want to travel the world, relax, and are already occupied with your nephew and you would feel like you dun want to "burden" them. Put bluntly, I see your main reason is that you dun want to be labelled "unfilial". Frankly, if you ask them, I'm pretty sure they rather help you take care of your kids then let you kill their grandchild. If need be, hire a helper for them.
2. Confinement ladies are plenty. 1 bad one does not mean all are bad. Ask around and some will have good ones to recommend.
3. Maids: Frankly, yes maids can give a lot of problems but often, its also the problem with the employer. Elderly folks who treat maids like slaves or lesser beings cause problems in maids. Employers who overly restrict the maids (no off days? no going out at all? no making friends? no money?) and do not even trust the maids a single bit cause problems in maids.
To be frank, my mum's current maid worked for my relative before but it was a failed employment and she was sent home after 4 mths. We gave the maid a chance and she has now been working for my mum for 22+ mths and going to renew her contract. She is dependable, reliable and work is good. She can even be trusted to look after my daughter ALONE if needed. Same maid, different employer, different style (main difference is level of trust and freedom) - different results.
Bottomline, yes there are some really nightmare maids around but the average maid can be decent as long as the employer is willing to treat them right. You will have to bear inconvenience, some headache and of coz close 1 eye at times. Just up to you if you want to bear it.
4. Housework: You dun need a 100% spick and span house. You dun need a gourmet dinner. Just do what you need to do. Hire a part time cleaner if you need to, order tingkat dinner or tarbao if you need to. Live simply, eat simply. And train your #1 to help or at least sit and watch whilst you do housework if you need to.
5. No energy from puking. FYI, I puked every single meal in my 1st trimester and even had spotting. Yet I still manage to hold my full time job. And I am pretty sure my job is no less tiring than looking after a child.
The final decision is yours and your husband but do think over what we have all adviced you. All your problems can be solved but it involves some sacrifice on your part, just whether you want to make the sacrifice or not.
P.s. Sorry I am very very harsh and blunt but I feel this is the best way to lay the cards outright for you.
Sorry for being very blunt but I think you are caring more about yourself, your life, your career, your husband's career (and perhaps the benefits it brings you in terms of money, etc), rather than your unborn child. I won't fault you if you were not pregnant and dun want another child but the fact is you are already pregnant and your reasons are definitely NOT valid enough to justify killing your own child.
1. Parents/In-laws: If you find your in-laws not suitable, then ask your parents. Yes they may want to travel the world, relax, and are already occupied with your nephew and you would feel like you dun want to "burden" them. Put bluntly, I see your main reason is that you dun want to be labelled "unfilial". Frankly, if you ask them, I'm pretty sure they rather help you take care of your kids then let you kill their grandchild. If need be, hire a helper for them.
2. Confinement ladies are plenty. 1 bad one does not mean all are bad. Ask around and some will have good ones to recommend.
3. Maids: Frankly, yes maids can give a lot of problems but often, its also the problem with the employer. Elderly folks who treat maids like slaves or lesser beings cause problems in maids. Employers who overly restrict the maids (no off days? no going out at all? no making friends? no money?) and do not even trust the maids a single bit cause problems in maids.
To be frank, my mum's current maid worked for my relative before but it was a failed employment and she was sent home after 4 mths. We gave the maid a chance and she has now been working for my mum for 22+ mths and going to renew her contract. She is dependable, reliable and work is good. She can even be trusted to look after my daughter ALONE if needed. Same maid, different employer, different style (main difference is level of trust and freedom) - different results.
Bottomline, yes there are some really nightmare maids around but the average maid can be decent as long as the employer is willing to treat them right. You will have to bear inconvenience, some headache and of coz close 1 eye at times. Just up to you if you want to bear it.
4. Housework: You dun need a 100% spick and span house. You dun need a gourmet dinner. Just do what you need to do. Hire a part time cleaner if you need to, order tingkat dinner or tarbao if you need to. Live simply, eat simply. And train your #1 to help or at least sit and watch whilst you do housework if you need to.
5. No energy from puking. FYI, I puked every single meal in my 1st trimester and even had spotting. Yet I still manage to hold my full time job. And I am pretty sure my job is no less tiring than looking after a child.
The final decision is yours and your husband but do think over what we have all adviced you. All your problems can be solved but it involves some sacrifice on your part, just whether you want to make the sacrifice or not.
P.s. Sorry I am very very harsh and blunt but I feel this is the best way to lay the cards outright for you.
tunapuff77
Active Member
Your tods all so smart, can call u all.. Mine no still. Only when i ask her to call me, then she'll call, else nothing.
3Jems, Thurs also cannot leh. Cos Thurs is housework day!!!! Every thurs nite, me n hubby slogged till 11pm to clean t floor. (ya, we only clean once a wk.. faint*) So left mon/tues.
so sianz.. today is thurs
3Jems, Thurs also cannot leh. Cos Thurs is housework day!!!! Every thurs nite, me n hubby slogged till 11pm to clean t floor. (ya, we only clean once a wk.. faint*) So left mon/tues.
so sianz.. today is thurs