vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
haha ya true but i dun like the screaming n shouting which i told him before. maybe i shld teach him how to sign angry..so he will sign that and not scream.
(2008/10) Oct 2008
- Thread starter jappooh
- Start date
thebusybee
Active Member
Vanilla, u mean the teacher never step in. Normally when such little fights abrupt in our class the teacher will step in and make both parties apologies and make up.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
yes busybee. E is so close to me now that in the morn if i wake up and leave the bed, he will auto wake up. I told hb cos bed warmer (me) is not there for him. haha
it is amazing cos his first mth, i did not really care for him ...
it is amazing cos his first mth, i did not really care for him ...
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
no leh.. i think too many children (today first time full class) and too many things happening. i dun think the teachers saw.
thebusybee
Active Member
Vanilla, yeah same just didn't bond with miki as much in the start too. Glad we have all come so far... We need to be strong and keep going on. But i feel family support plays a big part too.
<font color="0077aa">busybee: how come so hard on yourself leh? it is not a critique ah, i am just wondering out loud... 'cos how do you define you are not good enough a mother?
for me, the decision to stop B/Fg was really a HUGE step. But I know that is the best way out. Simply because, I was looking forward to B/Fg and the bonding, etc., but in the end, I was so tired and zoned out from all the other complications that I cannot even look after myself, let alone her. Thats the irony. With the drug, I decided to stop, simple as that.
I still feel bad once in a while that C was not breast fed but I know I made the right decision. If I were to do it all over again, I would still make the same decision simply because if I do not get well and better, how am I gonna take care of her? And once I came to terms with that and rested better and got well, I slowly enjoyed her more. And look where C and I are now? It still amazes me that we have come so far.
So likewise, look at you and Minibee now? Does she look unhappy? Maybe we should let them do the gauge than us 'cos what we are looking for and at may be different from what our bubs are looking for?
Dun beat yourself up. It is not easy to give up everything and make that decision to be a SAHM. If Minibee is happy, then you are doing good enough a job. And how we gauge if they are doing good should not be using milestones. I gave up reading those so called "milestones" eons ago because I decided each kid is special and unique in his / her own way. Some are better at langauges and some are better at arts, etc. Instead of using a "target/goal" to measure how well C is doing, I rather look at how often she laughs and how much we enjoy our time together
Truly Deb, u are doing a great job </font>
for me, the decision to stop B/Fg was really a HUGE step. But I know that is the best way out. Simply because, I was looking forward to B/Fg and the bonding, etc., but in the end, I was so tired and zoned out from all the other complications that I cannot even look after myself, let alone her. Thats the irony. With the drug, I decided to stop, simple as that.
I still feel bad once in a while that C was not breast fed but I know I made the right decision. If I were to do it all over again, I would still make the same decision simply because if I do not get well and better, how am I gonna take care of her? And once I came to terms with that and rested better and got well, I slowly enjoyed her more. And look where C and I are now? It still amazes me that we have come so far.
So likewise, look at you and Minibee now? Does she look unhappy? Maybe we should let them do the gauge than us 'cos what we are looking for and at may be different from what our bubs are looking for?
Dun beat yourself up. It is not easy to give up everything and make that decision to be a SAHM. If Minibee is happy, then you are doing good enough a job. And how we gauge if they are doing good should not be using milestones. I gave up reading those so called "milestones" eons ago because I decided each kid is special and unique in his / her own way. Some are better at langauges and some are better at arts, etc. Instead of using a "target/goal" to measure how well C is doing, I rather look at how often she laughs and how much we enjoy our time together
thebusybee
Active Member
Buffy, i think like what my hubs and bffs say i dun give myself enough credit. Guess, I was soo looking forward to the b/f-g the bonding etc and when it did not happen i felt useless as a mum. Thanks so much for telling me that. I know my sacrifices career wise and time etc are worth it cos I am still the person Miki adores most and I know she is one happy baby. She hardly cries so I just remind myself that all the time. To stop being a ee-yore and be a tigger!
<font color="0077aa">Vanilla: hmmm... IMHO, some kids may be a bit more expressive than others and E may be one of them. He is just expressing his unhappiness. I would not have forced C to apologise,. What E did was reactive lor... maybe can try distracting him (my iphone always works!) or removing him from the situation. I would have also asked the gor gor nicely if he can share the toy (though i know about to put back lah) while asking C if she could just wait for a little while (can sign wait) and it is gor gor's turn and he will pass it back to us in a bit... thats usually how i'd deal with it on a weekly basis at bibinogs. 
And like you, I did not bond well at all with C. But really, look at all of us now... Dun be so hard on yourself lah... With my PND and the counselling, I learnt to let go 80% man. Have to, otherwise ah, sure die one... I'd probably look like that auntie in shao lin soccer by Stephen Chow? Hahahahahahahahahaha</font>
And like you, I did not bond well at all with C. But really, look at all of us now... Dun be so hard on yourself lah... With my PND and the counselling, I learnt to let go 80% man. Have to, otherwise ah, sure die one...
I'd probably look like that auntie in shao lin soccer by Stephen Chow? Hahahahahahahahahaha</font>vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
ya i also think so... I see u busybee -- u r so patient w little bee and still cooks dinner for hb...u r doing a GREAT job!
totally agree w u that family support is impt...i overcome my pnd by bringing E to my mum's plc. My mum's plc became my solace...i also managed to catch up w my frens (all live that area)..a 2hr Parkway trip works wonder!
totally agree w u that family support is impt...i overcome my pnd by bringing E to my mum's plc. My mum's plc became my solace...i also managed to catch up w my frens (all live that area)..a 2hr Parkway trip works wonder!
lilbluey
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">Busybee/Vanilla/Buffy,
*pat pat* dun be so hard on yrselves, I think you ladies did an amazing job, dun keep having that guilt feeling that you did not do tis and that during that period...
Every mommy loves their child differently, doesn't mean not b/f for long and etc would reflect oneself as a bad mother...
Look at your child today, I think they are developing and growing well under your tender loving care
</font>
*pat pat* dun be so hard on yrselves, I think you ladies did an amazing job, dun keep having that guilt feeling that you did not do tis and that during that period...
Every mommy loves their child differently, doesn't mean not b/f for long and etc would reflect oneself as a bad mother...
Look at your child today, I think they are developing and growing well under your tender loving care
</font>
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi buffy - thanks for ur insight. haha E is indeed v expressive - in his screaming..now i have a headache! haha
ya maybe i shld handle it diff..if it happ next time i know what to do
thanks Karen!
ya maybe i shld handle it diff..if it happ next time i know what to do
thanks Karen!
lilbluey
Active Member
<font color="0000ff">Busybee/Vanilla/Buffy,
Guess in some way or another, at some point in time we will blame ourselves of not doing enough for our child. Given the demands of today's society, it's not easy balancing work, stress & family...most importantly, dun be too hard on yrselves and belittle what we as mothers can do..
Naturally, all moms would wish to provide and give their child the best in life but if we are limited, just utilise whatever is available and make the best out of it
</font>
Guess in some way or another, at some point in time we will blame ourselves of not doing enough for our child. Given the demands of today's society, it's not easy balancing work, stress & family...most importantly, dun be too hard on yrselves and belittle what we as mothers can do..
Naturally, all moms would wish to provide and give their child the best in life but if we are limited, just utilise whatever is available and make the best out of it
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
thanks bluey!
oh ya ur crab noodles look so good! haha next tue maybe i chio my fren there to makan!
oh ya ur crab noodles look so good! haha next tue maybe i chio my fren there to makan!
bigflamingo
Member
Busybee,
I felt useless too as I had very low supply, and J was too impatient to feed. All research says breastfeeding is best for babies, and they really give you the guilt trip for not doing so. Looking at my kid now, he is just as healthy as other kids. So no worries!
I felt useless too as I had very low supply, and J was too impatient to feed. All research says breastfeeding is best for babies, and they really give you the guilt trip for not doing so. Looking at my kid now, he is just as healthy as other kids. So no worries!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
haha.... buffy her kung fu superb hor...
bigflamingo
Member
Wow. What an emo bunch we are today, hee hee
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
ya i think the emphasis on bf does give alot of pressure...
my boy cant suckle and since day 1 i pump. I am really like a cow and my pump follows me everywhere.. haha..
my boy cant suckle and since day 1 i pump. I am really like a cow and my pump follows me everywhere.. haha..
bigflamingo
Member
Ya, I think i bonded more with the pump Vanilla! hahaha!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
haha..me too... felt abit sad the day i kept it away!
thebusybee
Active Member
Bigflamingo, doesn't help when pple exclaim in disbelief when i say i am not breastfeeding and ask why not??!!
Big flamingo, Vanilla, Lilbluey, Karen, Buffy... thanks. yeah maybe the grey skies making us all feel emo! hahaha.
Big flamingo, Vanilla, Lilbluey, Karen, Buffy... thanks. yeah maybe the grey skies making us all feel emo! hahaha.
clarissasmum
New Member
buffy, vanilla n busybee,
U all are very emo today. Dun be like that lah. No one can judge u as a mother except for ur child. Yes, ppl may call me crazy by saying that our child is the best judge. They may be young now, but they express their need for us clearly.
If u 3 are not good mothers, how about me, who cant even carry Tong due to my lousy health? I got to endure stares from others at public places, especially those from mothers.
U all are very emo today. Dun be like that lah. No one can judge u as a mother except for ur child. Yes, ppl may call me crazy by saying that our child is the best judge. They may be young now, but they express their need for us clearly.
If u 3 are not good mothers, how about me, who cant even carry Tong due to my lousy health? I got to endure stares from others at public places, especially those from mothers.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi ypg, no one can judge u...if they stare at u, u smile back at them!
thebusybee
Active Member
YPG, i also can't carry miki. Hahaha. Dun feel bad. I know that feeling too. Which is why i can't go into class with her cos I cannot carry her for action songs and to the washroom to cleanup after craft mess. So i guess end of day I agree with u, the child is best judge, if they are not happy then probably we are not doing a good enough job.
OKIE Mummies, no more toxic negative talk!! Happy Thoughts people!!
OKIE Mummies, no more toxic negative talk!! Happy Thoughts people!!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
we need R&R mum to come in w some pics..haha
Breastfeeding
Okay, I did breastfeed and is still doing that now, as some mummies know. I think it was easy for me because I knew how hard it could get, and so I started doing a lot of reading up when I knew I was pregnant as this was the one thing I hoped I could do.
But when I meet new mummies, this is never a question I ask. I find that this question can be sensitive, especially for mummies who really want to breastfeed but can't. I know of MANY mummies who are so adamant about breastfeeding. I don't get it. I mean, yah, even if it's true, FM is inferior compared to BM, it's still food for the babies, isn't it? And nutrition is just one aspect of parenting. It's not the be-all of it all.
So don't feel guilty about it, mummies! Most important, you're happy. Happy parents make happy children.
(and don't spam me, Christian mummies, but I think this similar to some Christians - it's either Christianity or you're doomed; I just don't like this attitude. I say free choice!)
Okay, I did breastfeed and is still doing that now, as some mummies know. I think it was easy for me because I knew how hard it could get, and so I started doing a lot of reading up when I knew I was pregnant as this was the one thing I hoped I could do.
But when I meet new mummies, this is never a question I ask. I find that this question can be sensitive, especially for mummies who really want to breastfeed but can't. I know of MANY mummies who are so adamant about breastfeeding. I don't get it. I mean, yah, even if it's true, FM is inferior compared to BM, it's still food for the babies, isn't it? And nutrition is just one aspect of parenting. It's not the be-all of it all.
So don't feel guilty about it, mummies! Most important, you're happy. Happy parents make happy children.
(and don't spam me, Christian mummies, but I think this similar to some Christians - it's either Christianity or you're doomed; I just don't like this attitude. I say free choice!)
<font color="0077aa">YPG/Karen: neh... am good... i got over my OCD behaviour long time ago already (though I still cannot tahan misalignment or bad colour coordination. LOL...
I cannot be bothered much about all these judgement lah. I actually have ppl saying/criticising that I am a psycho mum because I am strict with TV, I sign (u won't believe how many ppl I know have told me that siging is v bad, delays speech and why must be I so different and do the ang mo way) and that I force C to study wor... When all I am doing every evening is reading with her, signing and singing and craft work.
I think these ppl are delusional - seriously, if C is not interested in the things I am doing with her, you think I am able to spend about 1.5 hours every night like that w/o her screaming the house down???
So, each to his / her own... As long as C and I are having fun and she is healthy, safe and enjoying herself, I am good.
YPG: ignore them or just smile back. =) You can even do a Ms Congeniality wave and vote for "World Peace". hahahahahahahahaa...</font>
I cannot be bothered much about all these judgement lah. I actually have ppl saying/criticising that I am a psycho mum because I am strict with TV, I sign (u won't believe how many ppl I know have told me that siging is v bad, delays speech and why must be I so different and do the ang mo way) and that I force C to study wor... When all I am doing every evening is reading with her, signing and singing and craft work.
I think these ppl are delusional - seriously, if C is not interested in the things I am doing with her, you think I am able to spend about 1.5 hours every night like that w/o her screaming the house down???
So, each to his / her own... As long as C and I are having fun and she is healthy, safe and enjoying herself, I am good.
YPG: ignore them or just smile back. =) You can even do a Ms Congeniality wave and vote for "World Peace". hahahahahahahahaa...</font>
matsu
Active Member
<font color="119911">busybee, vanilla, buffy,
tat makes me 4th, i also had a real hard time dealing with the fact tat i din really BF Nat. Felt real lousy at being mom who can't really BF & Nat also have sleeping issue.
Till today, i m surprise tat i din have PND or suspect tat i may actually have had a mild case but din realise it =P
Think sending Nat to nanny way b4 i headed back to work really helps lots coz nanny is exp in handling Nat. Helps her to set a routine & i juz followed it. I rem in those early days, those 'feelings' will start to flow into my mind when it's time to go fetch Nat home...eek.
Think this is 1 major issue of me delaying #2. I m a little scare of the helplessness & useless feeling.
Wahahaha...i felt the same abt selling away my pump too. Juz not being able to fully BF really hurts us in some way...ouch!
</font>
tat makes me 4th, i also had a real hard time dealing with the fact tat i din really BF Nat. Felt real lousy at being mom who can't really BF & Nat also have sleeping issue.
Till today, i m surprise tat i din have PND or suspect tat i may actually have had a mild case but din realise it =P
Think sending Nat to nanny way b4 i headed back to work really helps lots coz nanny is exp in handling Nat. Helps her to set a routine & i juz followed it. I rem in those early days, those 'feelings' will start to flow into my mind when it's time to go fetch Nat home...eek.
Think this is 1 major issue of me delaying #2. I m a little scare of the helplessness & useless feeling.
Wahahaha...i felt the same abt selling away my pump too. Juz not being able to fully BF really hurts us in some way...ouch!
thebusybee
Active Member
i totally agree with karen! mummies, don't worry about what other people think. just be happy and do what you think is right. no one will know better than you. if your baby is happy and is growing well then that should be enough.
*hugz* *hugz* *hugz* no more negative thoughts! enjoy parenthood! enjoy watching your lil ones grow up.
*hugz* *hugz* *hugz* no more negative thoughts! enjoy parenthood! enjoy watching your lil ones grow up.
matsu
Active Member
<font color="119911">Karen,
i think i suffered from the side effect of reading, attending talks/classes abt BF during preggie when all they kelt telling me : SURE have supply!
So when i don't have enough supply, i go, no supply = my fault! & everything juz goes down with it
& it also hurts me more coz my sis BFed my niece till she is 2yo with totally no difficulties.</font>
i think i suffered from the side effect of reading, attending talks/classes abt BF during preggie when all they kelt telling me : SURE have supply!
So when i don't have enough supply, i go, no supply = my fault! & everything juz goes down with it
<font color="0077aa">JJMom: *pat pat*... its ok dear, i went thru the same experience as you... I was told die die sure will have supply. but no one told you that it will take some time to build up, it is OK to pump and that it is ok to supplement (C almost was dehydrated 'cos I did not know better)...
so hor, if i ever have a #2, I will still try to BF but I will do it my way! take it slow and study, pump / direct latch or whatever works and then build up slowly... some supply better than no supply...
U planning for #2?</font>
so hor, if i ever have a #2, I will still try to BF but I will do it my way! take it slow and study, pump / direct latch or whatever works and then build up slowly... some supply better than no supply...
U planning for #2?</font>
thebusybee
Active Member
JJmom, yeah worst when they said sure to have if u persevered. But hell we all did... but nothing then how. Sighed. My sil also had so much she gave her milk away!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi jjmom - ya i know some so much they do milk bath for bbs!
i think if we have no 2 we r more relaxed cos not first time mummies.
R&R - sorry no CL contacts ..i did not have a CL.
tell u all my pumping experience -- the first day..no milk, 2nd day, 1 drop -- i use syringe to collect milk, 3rd day..syringe was half full (meaning 1.5ml)...by then i was so proud..but when i give nurse, she had a smile...(so litte?) then few days later i give 1/2bottle, the nurses praise me..haha...i thot i was doing good until 1 mummy who had her bbs later than me came out of the NICU w 2 full bottles.
There was this ang no mummy told me she cant bend over and pick her bbs, her milk will flow out... i found it so funny when she squat carefully, keeping her chest straight!
i think if we have no 2 we r more relaxed cos not first time mummies.
R&R - sorry no CL contacts ..i did not have a CL.
tell u all my pumping experience -- the first day..no milk, 2nd day, 1 drop -- i use syringe to collect milk, 3rd day..syringe was half full (meaning 1.5ml)...by then i was so proud..but when i give nurse, she had a smile...(so litte?) then few days later i give 1/2bottle, the nurses praise me..haha...i thot i was doing good until 1 mummy who had her bbs later than me came out of the NICU w 2 full bottles.
There was this ang no mummy told me she cant bend over and pick her bbs, her milk will flow out... i found it so funny when she squat carefully, keeping her chest straight!
<font color="0077aa">oh, haviing said that hor, the irony was once i was in the hospital again and rested better? i was pumping 110ml... so i think for me hor, the mindset also matters... plus the rest too. 'cos too exhausted, body started shutting down due to chronic insomnia...</font>
thebusybee
Active Member
No leh... karen, i not that airport mah... But nada! Zilch! hahaha....
Phantus, do give me ur details to mail u voucher.
JJmom, u want to wait till we meet for lunch or wait till i move closer then we can go la kopi!
Phantus, do give me ur details to mail u voucher.
JJmom, u want to wait till we meet for lunch or wait till i move closer then we can go la kopi!
purpleangel
Active Member
JTS:
my friend who had gave birth recently also had this prob of not having enough supply and die die try not to feed FM... and keep latching on whenever the bb cry... and she feel very stress about it...
can't help her much cos I myself also nv bf... even i try to advise her... she still want to stick to latching on cos she told me that is the way to stimulate the supply...
my friend who had gave birth recently also had this prob of not having enough supply and die die try not to feed FM... and keep latching on whenever the bb cry... and she feel very stress about it...
can't help her much cos I myself also nv bf... even i try to advise her... she still want to stick to latching on cos she told me that is the way to stimulate the supply...
thebusybee
Active Member
r&r, sorry can't help i too did not have a CL.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi purple - i was like ur fren. in Hosp i told them bb is total bf, he keeps crying cos hungry, but i no milk. then he has to have op so need to fast... then nurse come in looked at me and told me "u r v cruel, it is v wicked to not allow someone hungry to eat"..wah piang! My hb's fren was there (it is a he)..he gave me a "i dun believe this nurse is like a prison warden" look. I gave in and gave him fm.
Vanilla
Which hospital was that?
For my case, no noise from the nurses at all! Except when I hogged Jo for a long time. Until on the day before discharge, I changed Jo's diapers before and so the nurses mistook that Jo didn't have any urine for some many hours. They then gently suggested giving her some water. Never once did they mention FM to me.
Which hospital was that?
For my case, no noise from the nurses at all! Except when I hogged Jo for a long time. Until on the day before discharge, I changed Jo's diapers before and so the nurses mistook that Jo didn't have any urine for some many hours. They then gently suggested giving her some water. Never once did they mention FM to me.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi karen - glenE