(2008/06) June 2008

I just made some pumpkin porridge.. cook the teochew style porridge.. lots of water, but when feeding Floyce, I drained off the water and smashed together w pumpkin till like puree...

To my surprise, she loves it so much.. asking for more..
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shern: Wooohoooo.. yup.. me shopping queen.. aiya.. everyday stay at home stuck with my ger oso no time to go shopping.. sad..

anyway my fren's wedding coming up n im the jie mei so got excuse to shop loh.. heehee.. previously ard sept i went shopping for dresses in spore shops oso can't find nice ones.. so i tried forum loh..

thanks for organising the spree! now jus keeping fingers crossed n hoping that the dresses will look nice on me..
 
mag: ooo.. athan actually can tahan until 10pm for his night feed cos u say he always die die must drink at 9pm.. heeheee...

so he still wakes up at 6am for his morning feed? myabe now is the transition period n he slowly adjusting... maybe wait for few more days then he can extend longer..

jia you!

wa... now onli take 7min n he can sleep liao.. so good.. i feel athan can adapt very fast eh.. smart boy! dun worry... he gurantee can sleep on his own very soon...
 
angel,
i just logged onto motherhood BP section and saw ur post on the coach BP thread - u are really shopping queen leh!! hee.
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felicia,
woohoo, lil' yu jie has upgraded! ;)
 
jessica: how u cook the porridge? with slow cooker?

sigh.. i feel that im bad mummy.. as of now still havent tried making porridge for my ger yet..

cos i dun trust my cooking skill.. sure not as nice de.. think cereal better loh...
 
tera: oops.. pai seh.. pai seh.. aiya.. i itchy.. asking onli nia.. the bag is $500 eh.. i won't buy la..

y u go there? u oso wan to buy coach bag?
 
<font color="aa00aa">Finally YuJie is hving one tiny tooth out from her gum. No wonder this few days her BM intake is decreasing.

Angel/ Tera,
YuJie's sleep pattern is trained for quite some times before she can sleep on her own. When she was just few mths old, we had hard time get her to sleep as she's like rat, refused to sleep at nite and keep wanting to play only.
Now she's teething, i start to get worry, coz my #1 teething period is quite terrible for me. Sleepless nite!</font>
 
felicia: ooo.. but u very good leh.. can actually let yujie sleep on her own.. n u jus need to sit outside...

but yujie got 1 tooth le.. so past few nights ok? maybe yujie will be diff from her sis.. dun worry..
 
angel,
oops, u got me there! hehe! partly drawn by the subject and also cos saw ur nick.
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yah, $500 is kind of exp, at least to both of us lah, keke.

sounds like sheryl is liking her cereal.
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u giving her HT? it's getting more and more difficult getting lucas to finish his cereal every morning even tho we add pear/banana to it. so just now went to buy nestle oat with prune cereal (fren's recommendation) to let him try tmr. hopefully he'll like it.
 
felicia,
the training is paying off now!
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like wat angel said, different babies, different patterns, she might be different from her sister when it comes to teething so monitor and see how first.
 
Tera, I also finding difficulty feedin jayden his cereal now lei. Last time he's ok with 2.5 similac scoops of HT cereal. Today, I purposely go mix 2 scoops cereal with avocado (which he also like previously). I don't know what's wrong man....

My MIL cooking porridge. I let him eat and see how later. So Lucas no prob with his porridge right?
 
tera: hahahaha... but im aiming this bag for my next bonus la.. so now testing market loh.. woohoohoo..

actually hor.. sheryl very naughty.. she prefers the nestle cereal (with mixed veg) cos its sweeter compared to HT.. HT not much taste.. i have to use toy to distract her then she can finish HT.. but nestle cereal she happily finish it very fast..

lucas should like nestle.. heehee.. u try n let me know.. cos i can't find prune puree so im aiming this nestle cereal wiht prune.. dun know got not..

think veniz got try it with vivi, right?
 
MLP: u oso feeding jayden porridge for the 1st time?

i think maybe our babies sian of the cereal taste liao.. sigh.. so dun wan cereal anymore..

u try n see whether jayden got prefer porridge.. let me know.. then i might consider cooking porridge for sheryl too..
 
Angel, jayden got try porridge before and he's ok with it. But long time never give porridge, later i give n let u know how it goes.

Today I give him abit of gerber banana stars towards the end of cereal to make him finish up his cereal. He likes it alot man! And I ALSO LIKE IT TOO! woahaha.. i ate more than him!

1.5hrs later, he's hungry again. just fed him milk and he concuss now. hiak hiak...
 
angel_z,
i cook on stove.. i buy xin-mi.. very fast will turn soft.. think the normal kind also can.. then throw in small pieces of pumpkin.. cook for abt 20mins.. then i transfer to the magic cooker.. (save gas).. i cook at 10am, 11.30am.. ready to eat..

pumpkin.. i buy fm NTUC.. only $0.45 for a portion.. can cook for 4 meals.. i cook separately for lunch/dinner..

very very easy one..
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angelz...
i hv decided to give the headband a pass... haha.. think think alot b4 giving up. i jus ordered 2 bags thru shern in fashion junkie... haha... and oso a denim bottom for my girl from one of the BPs... urgh!

u know... yest i went BPP and ended up buying her crocs clothes... the factory oulet/over-run shop there selling the apparels v cheap! tees at $7, bottoms at $10 or 7.

btw, i went ntuc the day b4 and bgt the gerber prune puree for her leh. u may wanna try there.

ellysia...
which kind of sweet potato did u buy? i bgt the japan sweet potato, they are tastier and sweeter, so my girl loves it alot.
 
MLP...
haha... i love those gerber puffs too... i used to eat them alot when my boy was younger. i like the apple-strawberry one.
 
Ooh... Added mine to the bogeh club.
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Four Teeth
1. Eunicia (Priscilla)upgraded frm two hehe
2. Yuzhe (Ellysia)

Two Teeth
1. Kyler (Bonjovi)
2. Lucas (Tera)
3. Gwendolyn (Crystal)
4. Travis (Bleh)
5. Vivienne (Veniz)
6. Floyce (War_angel - Jessica)
7. Gianna (JP)
8. Matthew (Cactus)
9. Nicholas upgrade from bogeh club
10. (candys/fen)
11. Lil ZuEn (ZuEn) - cutie lil teeth, but d88n hard to come out!
12. Qianying (iamsnow) - upgrade from bogeh club!

One Cutie Tooth
1. Reanne (Janiviy)
2. Andrea (Rizty)
3. Ivory (Sharon)
4. YuJie (Felicia) Upgrade fr Bogeh club on 3rd Jan 09

Waiting for Tooth Fairy to Visit (Bogeh Club)
1. Kyan (BabyCupid) Still die hard member of Bogeh club as at 2/1/09
2. Jared (Fennie77)
3. Cedrik (Feiling)
4. Elyssa (Mogudog)
5. Zhi Yu (bizznow)
6. Jade (shycloud)
7.Qyan (ioio)
8. Jayden (MLP) Still die hard member of Bogeh club as at 2/1/09
9. Charlotte (feifei)
10. Rex (jn80jn)
11.Gwenneth (tinyfeet/esther)
12. Evelyn (soyabean)
13. Nadia Marshya (danryan)
14. Yue Han (star)
15. Nicole (Piyo)
16. Cornelius (tanlengleng)
17. Siying (sandra/spritzer08)
18. Athanasius (Mag/liteonmag) Still die hard member of Bogeh club as at 2/1/09
19. Sheryl (angel_z)
20. cheri (ariesann) still dun knw how to flip.
21. Nicole (cynthia) love been toothless
22. Lucius (shern) lurve his gummy smile
23. Isabel (krispy) bogeh as at 3/1/09
 
MLP: ok! then that time u let jayden try porridge he ok with it?

jessica: wa.. u make cooking porridge sounds so easy eh.. so other than pumkin, u never add anything liao hor?

soyabean: heehee.. u oso another shopping queen eh..
 
Sorry ladies, but I was just wondering if any hubby joins in this mother-hood forum. I have been reading the forum and adopted some of the advices. This forum would be a nice springboard for my wife whom may be oblivious to some of the methodologies in looking after a baby.

As I have been labeled unsupportive by my wife, I would use this forum as a yardstick to gauge my support level as opposed to other hubbies:

Finance wise – I have covered all aspects of it (Includes all purchases + 家用 of requirements for both baby and mummy. Mummy does not have to work).
Household chores – Does vacuuming/mopping once a week
Baby care – Unable to meet Wife’s standard hence left her to handle child entirely (includes bathing, feeding, washing of bottles etc)
Baby’s education and planning – Co-shared by both parents, 70% of the planning and execution done by me.

I perceived that my wife is going through some hormone changes and has been rather stressful. It became worse when negative feelings aroused, becomes trickier when it comes to issues concerning the kid. As we are going through some silent war, I would like to solicit some advice how I could eradicate and improve on my short-fuse attitude towards my wife.
 
Chloemummy..

My gal sprout tooth very fast lor... that time by 5th mth finish bottom two and now coming 7mth coming out another two... i really scared the next two that is coming out cos heard that they will be more cranky than the first four..

My gal teething still like milk even when teething lor.. never decrease one *pengz* she gets very excited with milk tat y got the this size... I nearly fainted when i go PD to weigh my gal... i think now around 10kg liao...
 
Chloemummy
Yes.. since young she is very excited over milk that is y sometimes i cannot understand the way u all fight with baby when drinking...

ever since baby teething.. she is sooo fussy.. little things also cannot will make lots of noise...
 
Cactus - Another plus point of having #2, can get to enjoy those cuddles once again...
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Age is just a number...I know a mummy who was PG with #4 at 42. Wow, so envious! You are 46kg liao....I am still at 60 and stuck.

Felicia - If you don't mind me asking, is she sleeping in her cot? If its on your master bedroom bed, then maybe you should invest in a bed guard. Wah, looks like YJ is very "guai"

Mag - Same here, never pump either. Just latch on. The first few months will be hard on our partner coz he is no longer No.1 on our list. But, once everyone gets into a routine, it will be OK.
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I am also a SAHM with no maid. So, I am Ms. Everything (Maid, Cook, Babysitter, Wife, Mother, etc)

kye - For my #1, he weaned himself off coz whenever I wanted to BF him, he will not suckle but bite me till I bleed. So, after that, I gave him FM in a bottle and he was happy with that. He was about 8 mths plus. Never listen to anyone who says that you are a bad mom. You are NOT!!!

Jenny - Have you tried different teats?

Fen - Thanks for the teether info!

Sharon - I think it would be quite OK coz by June, your precious will be 1. Can eat some of the soft stuff. If you are worried, can buy baby food (cereals, bottled food and finger food) from Singapore. As for FM, just bring 1 small tin. If you are comfy with a baby carrier, no need stroller. I flew to OZ with #1 when he was 3 months old and recently went to Thailand with #1 &amp; #2.

Ellysia - Please don't be so sad. It was not like you did it purposely. The Gods will understand.
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Danryan - Soooooo cute!

jsmurf - Everyone is welcome to join the forums. There are one or two Dads in my #1's forum. Welcome! Is this your #1? It takes time for both (Mom and Dad) to adjust as there's a new addition to the family. If your wife is a SAHM, it will be more stressful as she faces the boi bei 24/7. I am a SAHM of 2 and till today, my hubby can never take care of our 2 kids alone for more than 2 hours...ha!ha!

Teething (tips from teething babies website)
***

Teething can be a difficult time for babies. Here are some things you can do to relieve their discomfort...
Cuddle therapy

A little extra tender loving care goes a long way when your baby is having a hard time teething. Hugs and cuddles will help comfort and reassure your baby if they are distressed.
Rubbing their gums

Lightly massaging your baby's gum with a clean finger can be soothing and help alleviate some of their discomfort. Take the chance to do this while applying a topical teething gel like Bonjela Teething Gel which will have the added benefit of helping to provide ongoing relief afterwards too. (Always read the label)
Baby with teether

Teething rings
Teething babies love to chew and bite - on anything! Many mums find that sterilised teething rings can be useful for and they can actually help the teeth to cut through. Why not pop a liquid-filled teething ring in the fridge first to cool it down? Just make sure that it's clean and definitely not frozen.

Food for chewing
If your baby is over six months old, try offering them a sugar-free teething biscuit or unsweetened rusk. Alternatively, some like to gnaw on chilled bread slices or carrot sticks. Whatever you choose to give your baby make sure they are supervised and that they cannot bite chunks off, which could cause your baby to choke. It is also preferable to avoid foods that are too hard as these could bruise the gums and cause further pain.

Cold foods
Cold helps to numb the pain, so chilled yoghurts, unsweetened apple puree or other baby foods could help. Make sure the food isn't frozen and will cause any chills.

Cold drinks
Likewise, cool drinks can help soothe the whole mouth. Try cooling boiled water or extra breast or formula milk in the fridge.

Disprol
Teething gel

Teething gels massaged into the gums with a clean finger can provide fast-acting and targeted relief. Look for ones that are sugar-free and colour-free such as Bonjela Teething Gel and make sure you check the dosage instructions and expiry date. (Always read the label). Click here for more information about Bonjela Teething Gel

Infant medicine (analgesics)
A medicine (analgesic) designed especially for babies, such as Nurofen for Children , can be used for babies who are three months (over 5kg) or more to help relieve the pain associated with teething and bring down a raised temperature. In fact, Nurofen for Children can be administered alongside Bonjela Teething Gel for more complete control of symptoms. However, if a raised temperature persists, a visit to a doctor is advisable so that other possible causes can be excluded. (Contains Ibuprofen, always read the label)

Soothing sore chins
Excessive dribbling caused by teething can irritate babies' chin, neck and chest which may become dry, chapped and sore. Try to keep their skin as dry as possible (a bib will help) and change any wet clothing. Applying a simple barrier cream can also help keep their skin soft and smooth and may ease any chapped skin.
 
Mummies &amp; Dad,

IMHO, do invest in a car seat for your baby. Our car has 2 car seats. Heng ah coz the other day, kena stop and the police asked why my #2 not in car seat and I said coz I BFing mah. Then he saw our 2 car seats and said - OK, can go. If never see 2 car seats.....then kena saman. Heng ah....we have 2 car seats.
 
Priscilla - My #1 also cut his 1st 2 teeth at 4 months plus. Don't worry too much, it really depends on the child. My #1 teething period was pretty OK compare to my #2. Wow..10kg...my #1 is only 11.5kg at 2 yrs old.
 
JP: Thanks for the info on teething.. Now my ger's cheek is chapped due to excessive saliava... Then PD gave me moisturiser to apply on her face few times a day..


Argh!! i oso never use my seat eh... cos my baby dun like to be inside.. my husband everytime still say she dun like to sit then carry her loh.. wa.. i must tell him that u met TP liao.. n my car seat is infant car seat.. onli used until 1yr old.. still looking for a good car seat that can last till older..

what car seat u using?
 
<font color="ff0000">Angel_z

i am still using my #1 car seat, who is now 5yrs old till now. Recycle, now my #2, age 3yrs old using it.....now my gal waiting for her turn to seat on it...but i will put her in MIM sling when travel by car.

So now in the car have 1 car seat &amp; a boster

I bought GERRY car seat
</font>
 
JP,
Whoa, luckily u have 2 car seats! My hubby always very gan chiong when see TP and baby is not in car seat. Then i always cannot understand why he's so worried, now i hear ur case, i also got to be more insistent in bb being in car seat. Even if not for TP, for safety reasons also.
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MLP,
hey, so i am not alone, u also same prob as me. so how? did jayden like his porridge today?
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lucas loves his porridge, always can finish, keke.

angel,
oh...u are giving nestle and which sheryl likes! yah, veniz was most kind (as always, hee) to offer to pass me some sample pkts on wed but i din have a chance to meet her. at the same time, i also have a fren whose DD loves nestle, so i think most likely lucas will like it. :p btw, i've dropped u a PM regarding porridge. hope it helps!
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HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MUMMIES.

Upgrade my son's Cedrik from bogeh to one cutie tooth.

Four Teeth
1. Eunicia (Priscilla)upgraded frm two hehe
2. Yuzhe (Ellysia)

Two Teeth
1. Kyler (Bonjovi)
2. Lucas (Tera)
3. Gwendolyn (Crystal)
4. Travis (Bleh)
5. Vivienne (Veniz)
6. Floyce (War_angel - Jessica)
7. Gianna (JP)
8. Matthew (Cactus)
9. Nicholas upgrade from bogeh club
10. (candys/fen)
11. Lil ZuEn (ZuEn) - cutie lil teeth, but d88n hard to come out!
12. Qianying (iamsnow) - upgrade from bogeh club!

One Cutie Tooth
1. Reanne (Janiviy)
2. Andrea (Rizty)
3. Ivory (Sharon)
4. YuJie (Felicia) Upgrade fr Bogeh club on 3rd Jan 09
5. Cedrik (Feiling)

Waiting for Tooth Fairy to Visit (Bogeh Club)
1. Kyan (BabyCupid) Still die hard member of Bogeh club as at 2/1/09
2. Jared (Fennie77)
3. Elyssa (Mogudog)
4. Zhi Yu (bizznow)
5. Jade (shycloud)
6.Qyan (ioio)
7. Jayden (MLP) Still die hard member of Bogeh club as at 2/1/09
8. Charlotte (feifei)
9. Rex (jn80jn)
10.Gwenneth (tinyfeet/esther)
11. Evelyn (soyabean)
12. Nadia Marshya (danryan)
13. Yue Han (star)
14. Nicole (Piyo)
15. Cornelius (tanlengleng)
16. Siying (sandra/spritzer08)
17. Athanasius (Mag/liteonmag) Still die hard member of Bogeh club as at 2/1/09
18. Sheryl (angel_z)
19. cheri (ariesann) still dun knw how to flip.
20. Nicole (cynthia) love been toothless
21. Lucius (shern) lurve his gummy smile
22. Isabel (krispy) bogeh as at 3/1/09
 
danryan: wa... your car seat so good! can last for 5 years.. but i never heard of this brand before.. GERRY... where u buy from? can seat until what age/weight?
 
I brought Cedrik went for 6 mths check up last week.

Here his update as per last week:
Age: 6 mths 1 week old
Height: 68.5cm
Weight: 9.8kg
 
tera: ya.. she loves nestle cereal but i tasted it n i find it sweeter than HT.. Sigh.. But sheryl likes leh.. so now im giving it to her on alt days.. dun kwno whether should stop not cos HT healthier..

u PM me aH? dun have leh...
 
jsmurf,
personally, i think u are doing well in the finance side of things. but i believe wat your wife would like to see more is ur involvement with the baby? i know that u have mentioned that u are hands-off cos u do not meet her standards. how about asking her to show you how to feed and bathe bb? and then u do it and get her to point out where u can improve. of course i'm not saying that ur wifey's way is THE way but at least it shows u are trying? just my 2 cents worth.
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jsmurf,

i showed my husband your post n asked him for his opinion as a father. my husband said u are doing well in the finance side n u do help in household chores... so thats ok..

we both feel that its the taking care of baby part that your wife probably needs help in.. i've been a SAHM for the past 8mths (i dun have helper n none of our parents stayin with me) n i can understand how your wife feels.. cos she is taking care of the baby 24/7 every single day (does she have any help? mum? maid?) and its quite 'siong' to do it alone..

so i would LOVE to have my husband's help in taking care of baby.. i know my husband is tired after a day's work so i dun bother him on weekdays but he does help me from fri to sun.. n he knows i'm tired too so he willingly offer a lending hand..

tera is right.. u should talk to your wife.. since she said u are not supportive yet she finds the things u do not up to her standard then u should get her to demo/teach u how to do it..

e.g. previously my husband onli helps me with feeding but he doesn't know how to bath baby.. so recently i jus taught him how to do it n now he helps me to bath baby on weekends.. n he loves doing it n he says he can bond n play with baby during bathtime as they can play with water, toys, etc etc..

and i have read in this forum that some mummies have expressed concern that their husbands are not involved in the taking care of baby part n they are worried that the fathers are not bonding enough with their babies... so maybe your wife is worried about this too?

n i feel that no one should do everything in one aspect.. i believe husband n wife should share all duties tog, household chores, taking care of baby, finance (if possible).. cos if 1 person is doing everything, sooner or later he/she will start to think how come i'm the onli 1 doing it alone when my partner is not doing anything to help me??

and lastly when u quarrel, all these negative feelings will start to surface..

So sit down n communicate with your wife.. Sharing my 2 cents worth.. Sorry for the long post..
 
Bathing baby - Check and done numerous times before. But not fast enough.

Feeding baby - Feeding milk at certain time (due to the crankiness) is not a problem. I fed my boy with cereal constantly too.

Despite my work schedule, i even found time to cook for my wife, which includes washing of utensils and cutlery.

I am solely responsible for reading to baby, converting music files for his night sleep, sourcing videos, sorting out flashcards, updating his blogs etc.

But I am not unhappy with doing all these.

I opined that it can be difficult to be a SAHM but one could have many choices. One could have be less meticulous and have fun when looking after the small one. The choice is yours to choose and bear with the consequences.

You don't want a maid, fine. You dont wish to work, fine. Then at least you can be a nice SAHM, right? What more can you ask from a hubby? The worst thing is i am not even angry with my wife, i am angry with myself( Why i married a wife like that? - Just joking!), because i could not do more to elevate her from her stress.

Especially in confrontations when angry words flow, i do not disagree when negative feelings surfaced. But it cannot be that procrastination/running away from the problems be the usual way of solving. The world is dangerous not because of the evil people around, but rather is due to people not doing anything about it.

While it may be contagious to highlight that my wife is some sort of a clean freak, but i know i am strong enough to tackle these minor setbacks that will only make me stronger(provided i dont fall).

Hence,this forum served as an avenue to gauge how much does your hubby help you? Am I doing more or less?
 
jsmurf:

bathing baby - not fast enough cos your wife scare baby catches a cold is it? (cos i dun understand why need to be fast)

feeding baby - so u got feed baby too?

actually u got help to take care of baby ma if u got help in feeding of milk n cereal.. even things like reading to baby oso consider takin care of baby ah?

so u mean your wife is not happy being a SAHM? yes.. u r right... the choice is yours n taking care of baby can ve very fun n fulfillin too..

ooo.. never never run away n dun solve problems n issues.. it could lead ot bigger problems.. me n my husband always communicate after fights.. me may shout at each other but later on we will talk about it..

if must gauge between u n my husband, u def do more.. i shall tell my husband liao.. hahahaha...

actually earlier on we did talk about how much our husbands are doing (it should be in archive now), u will find that quite a few of our husbands dun do as much.. u should ask your wife to come n see... n let her realise how fortunate she is..

but i think it could be other issues.. could she be depressed? unhappy? unhappy that she is SAHM?
 
Re: Porridge
My #2 is still eating rice cereals coz she was sick from 5th Dec and only recovered on the last week of Dec. So, could not start her as planned. I think once she gets the hang of it, I will start cooking porridge.

angel_z - You are welcome! I bought cheap-cheap car seat which cost about $160 at Baby Hypermart. No need to buy expensive ones coz once they grow up will prefer to sit the boster. For my side, I need 2 toddlers car seat ( from 6 mths to 3 yrs old) coz my 2 kids are just about 2 years apart. So, I guess with a car seat in the car, at least when TP ask, can say baby cry and cry, so carry to comfort lor.

Danryan - I could not recycle my toddler car seat as my #1 still a toddler. My #2 cannot fit into the infant car seat now as her legs are long. So, bought another one. Wah, your car seat can last up to 5 yrs old. My car seats can take up to 20kgs only. So, agak-agak, should be about 3-4 yrs old lah.

Tera - Ha!Ha! Ya, its also for safety reasons.
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As you know, they were promoting the car seat thingy and it went into the newspapers. So, I guess they are more "on" now.

jsmurf - I too showed your post to my DH. He also said that you have covered the financial side which is good as it can gives one a headache. He also mentioned that you are doing pretty well as a 1st time Dad and willing to help out as much as you can. As I mentioned earlier, both parties need time to adjust to parenthood. As for the "baby care", I am a clean freak myself and my DH calls me that often (LMAO coz its contagious as he is becoming one too). How I go about it was I supervise my DH when he started offering to help me wash the bottles, bath the kids, etc. After several times supervising him, I was OK with it. Some people does not like having a stranger (eg:maid) living with them. Some mothers like myself prefer to be a SAHM coz I want to be there for my child for the first few years (This really depends on the individual). Having said that, a SAHM is not having a ball of a time either. We have to wear a lot of hats. It took me at least 3 months to adjust from being a full time working person to be a SAHM. Furthermore, I have also come across wives who became mothers, worry constantly as their husbands put the kid first before them and they don't know how to handle this feeling as its their own kid and vise-versa. As mentioned by the rest of the mummies, communication is upmost important. It does not matter if a couple argues as sometimes arguements makes a marriage stronger. However, after an arguement, the couple must sit-down and patch up via heart-to-heart talk (communication). One more thing, I may be wrong but I also think you should see if your wife is suffering from post-natal depression. Do not take this lightly as it may drag for years if someone who is suffering from it does not seek help. Hope you don't mind me adding my 2 cents worth.
 
I appreciate the kind advices here. I have gotten my doctor friend to provide some simple analysis for me. My wife is not suffering from post natal depression based on the cognitive behaviour patterns that i have describe.

I think she is just perturbed that i am just not helping enough. Angel &amp; JP struck a nail in the coffin with regards to being a SAHM. To be honest, i felt its a management of time and efforts, and it's even more demanding with a crying baby. I wouldn't think twice if i could swop roles to be a full time "Mother" as per se. You can go and earn that bacon if you want. But that's not the point. Every job has its challenges and low-downs, but why can't my loved one takes it more easily?

Whether feeding/bathing/reading are considered as taking care of baby or not, i opined that the journey is not a finishing line. The love of taking care of baby is by walking the journey together. Its not about how well i bath the baby.Its also not about me sendng baby to a good school...its about the whole package. What i may be lacking now (in terms of standards),i m so sure i will b able to contribute more (education/planning)....

But if one team-mate has been ranting, even if i bath the baby fast, even if i feed the baby efficiently, the journey could have been more pleasant if the heart wasnt so narrow.

Procrastination has never been my style of doing things. I often found time to talk about it. But the problem lies in the other partner whom choose not to talk (Maybe i can outtalk her a lot better).

That's why i choose to remain silent for a few days. . .
 
ellysia, how to tell if he can self soothe himself to slp?

mag, yest he cried for half hr+, today it took him abt 15-20mins... see liao really heart pain leh. i hide at the door to peep at him tearing and turning ard in his cot, looking for attention.

actually, i dunno if i'm doing it rite. i see he sleepy, then i simply place him in his cot, kiss him goodnight and left him after some patting.. then i leave the room.

then he will wake up n look for me.. then cry cry cry.. then i will pop inside n pacify a bit, pat him a bit again and leave the room.

am i doing it rite?

he is also teething at the moment. so i'm worried that he actually needed more coaxing at this difficult period. v contradicting leh. how??
 
jsmurf, u are indeed doing the best u can, as i can see. perhaps she feels v tied down by the little one? i'm sorry to say this, but some women do feel that children is a burden. cannot deny the fact that we are less free and easy now with bbs, some people just cant deal with the fact that freedom is lost and there are much more things to deal with and more responsibilities to take care of. in fact, she's probably pissed off with herself, rather than at u. u are merely a convenient excuse to be blasted at.

just seeing things fm another POV. cos i am like that at times. i m guilty of accusing hb for not helping around much (cos he's always at work and we are always home alone)..

but of cos, i hope it wasnt the same for ur case. but then, find time to get ur wife to talk. things will be clearer that way.
 



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