(2008/06) June 2008

Cactus,

I dont think ur MIL will be able to cope with 2-3kids at one time. Moreover is newborn.

The oth day i was sharing some story about ILs/ parents in taking care of our kid with my friends, n we realised we are having same opinion on one thing. We realised our ILs and parents whom start taking care of kid, get panicked easily compare to when they r not taking care of any kids. My mil used to be a no temper person but since she take care of my ger, she got bit temper and start to be nagging as well. My friend said her mum oso the same. I think this mostly due to our parent/ ILs start to get aged and especially with their age approaching menopause, so tend to get annoyed by small thingy.

So, i'm thinkin to enrol my #1 to childcare when my #2 is delivered, at least can reduce some workload of my MIL.
 


danryan,
wher wil u get yr maid frm? i'll needa get a maid to help out aso. but haven decide which country n which agency. heard many stories of maids... dunno how to choose aso.
im tinkin of findin 1 in april n est. e agency wil take a mth to settle everythin n maid arrive in may. cos i dun wan transfer maid.
 
Morraine, I did think about your concern.. but I don't think it will be that bad... I'm expecting the maid to do more housework and cooking on my dad's instructions. not so much to look after the child. I grew up in an environment where people spoke chinese and very little english (my grandparents & nanny). Only my maid was filipino and my parents speak english well. But I'm more accustomed to speaking english today. Kids will always pick up broken english in preschool from other kids. it's hard to stop that. I'm very scared of filipinos... so far I've heard more horrible stories about them than good stories. My colleauges mostly have indonesian maids. their kids turn out ok. one of them, 3 kids in Nanyang and RGPS. another colleauge's 2 kids are doing well at school also. their english is affected by the maid, but their english was affected by preschool friends... ironic cos we think kids are supposed to learn good english at school.
 
<font color="ff0000">cactus*

oic
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if u have forsee this concern and taken into consideration on this issue den its fine
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Felicia, if you plan to send your #1 to childcare, you may want to consider sending him/her there before June or else he/she may associate his/her being at childcare = arrival of newborn.. not healthy.
 
<font color="ff0000">mrswrx*

ya if u dun wan transfer maid den give ample time incase maid got no passport or etc den u need to wait for all these misc things..</font>
 
morraine
yes, looking for english spoken maid too coz my 2 sons talk in English most of the time if my hubby talk in Malay like no response like dat...now training them talk in Malay coz my 1st son can't speak well or don't like to attend Malay class...and don't mix wif Malay classmate...so quite in the classroom.
 
Morning gals!

Piyo, lucky you.. she did for u 1.5hrs.. she only massage for me 55min then she left liao hmpf.. prob coz i got no water retention in legs/feet so she didnt spend much time on me.. haiz, I felt like waste $ like that...glad you enjoyed yours

buzznow.. me not much better, already put on 12kg at 29 weeks.... my hubby says no need stress, he sponsor me marie france after this heeee :p

felicia, poor gal.. you must take care of yourself too. Dun fall sick


Btw, re beansprout pillow.. my mum buy from those neighbourhood shops is only abt $10 - $12 per pillow....
 
morraine,
i din wan transfer maid cos i heard usually they r e ones rejected by previous employer n agency wil try to get rid of them asap cos of work permit etc... i need e maid's help in hsework n nite feedin time (in case i cant wake up frm bb cries).
i aso dunno if findin some1 experience, wil they be hard to tame?
some1 inexperience, hard to train?
haiz... i tink its like lottery, lucky then get gd maid. if maid is bad, wil agency replace another 1?
 
cactus,

My MIL is just like ur MIL!!!
She always told us she can cope even with this #2, tats why i had been delaying the plan to enrol my ger to childcare. And my mil is very thrifty, she dont want us to spend on the childcare which will be around $500+ per mth. But we know in our heart, she's not able to do it coz my #1 is those active type, nvr sit down for more than 2 mins.

So, like you, we can only wait for my mil to tell us 'she surrender'!
 
roxy,

i tried marie france long time ago, their main treatment is cold wrap, you need to be able to tahan coldness in aircon cubicle, i cubicle to yourself, if not, have to combine with warm wraps, so that you wont feel freezing, have to check with them before you sign up
 
felicia,

I find that MYMCA childcare is not too bad, and there is a subsidy for working mum, less $150, after less is ard $350+, mayb you want to consider
 
<font color="ff0000">danryan*

oic must introduce more malay to ur kids?
happy.gif


mrswrx*

ya its really based on luck i shall say.. and im not sure on free replacement for all agencies or not but for mine is free</font>
 
mrswrx
i went to NORA Employment Agency &amp; Nation Agency which are both Wdland Mart for enquiry.

Early April will be better to enrol coz it took abt 3 to 4 weeks for the agency to prepare the docs, maid passport &amp; to pass certain test &amp; etc b4 the maid fly to Spore.

By then me &amp; my mom can guide her for 1 mth b4 the bb is due
 
Hello Mumz..wah looks like many gettin a maid hor..but not easy to get a gd one..sigh..me oso headache still tinkin if i shld get a maid too..since bbsiter not keen in takin care of no.2
sad.gif
..my aunt is a filipino..she use to supply maids told me not to get experienced maid..get someone fresh &amp; gd in handling bbs...
she said experience maids or older maids..hard to teach them to follow wat u wan..they hv their own mindset ..sometimes all depends on our luck whether can get gd maid anot..
 
morraine/danryan,
wat r e usual qns we needa check frm agency? n can neg. terms n conditions? maid's salary? how do we noe if e maids hav certain amt of trainin b4 they came to our hse?
 
Fennie,

Thanks for your info.
But as i'm a PR, so no subsidy for me, tats why it'll be more ex for me.
Now my main problem is not with childcare ctr, but with my mil is rejecting our suggestion to send my ger there. Like wat i told Cactus, can only wait my MIL to shout 'surrender'!
 
fennie... no ah, tink i wun go there, so exp, just hope breastfeeding and lotsa exercises will slim myself down.. but just touched hubby is willing to splurge on the expenses for me, but i bu she de to spend that $
 
Tinkerbelle
Thanks for all your experiences in SGH. Nw i will knw wat to look for in KKH. I dun mine the visiting gynae cos i believe my case will have the top to override too. I just tot of paying more for better room (A ward) but when discharge, baby still under subsidy consultation.

Bizznow
Ya i was there abt 11am too. Ha, if u saw me wif some in skirt dress n pretty, that's Crystal (short hair). If u saw me wif someone in pants, that's my neighbour. So depend on hw much u can recall, then u knw who Crystal is. Wow, u can still go back n recall Friday when u only knw me on Saturday?
 
cactus,

No maid! Hubby and MIL dont like the idea of having a stranger at home. And my MIL is a superwoman whom can really handle all the housework plus taking care of my ger.
I'm quite worry if my mil get sick (touch wood!), then i'll *peng*!
 
Felicia
Yes, i am happy and greatful to my mom who took gd care to my 2 sons...not only dat but she also do ironing, cooking washing, almost all the hsework...and i when i came back fr work i will have my dinner everything prepared but hor...wif my 3rd bb coming i felt so pity for her...when i came back home i told her to rest in her room...i will take over my kids...she also not so well sometimes and make me worries at work...

mrswrx
u can read from another forum regarding MAID at Temporary Holding Forum...
 
<font color="ff0000">mrswrx*

yesh must ask on the salary, compensation of no off days pricing which is shld be S$20, any of ur preferences as in u allow her to use mobile fone and etc or not.. must all state and make sure all parties agree first.. </font>
 
Felicia, I see... my MIL has my SIL's maid helping her now... it's a tricky situation cos actually before we knew SIL was pregnant, SIL, BIL, maid, MIL and us agreed that SIL's maid will help us with our bb too.. under MIL's instructions. We will pay half of MIL's salary &amp; give maid a pay rise for as long as we need her help.Then SIL got pregnant... so we had to ask my dad to help out. now my dad is willing to help but my dad and mom want my MIL to say she "gives up". My MIL won't easily say she "gives up" loh cos she is face loving. Later, outsiders hear that she is looking after her daughter's kids.. and not her only inside grandson, she won't be happy too.

I think you may want to have some back-up in case your MIL really cannot manage.
 
morraine,
wow, so details ah? even hp aso muz state b4 hand? *faint*
how do u pay yr maid? i heard 1st few mths they dun hav pay, izzit?
washin of cars aso needa state b4 hand?
 
Hi Fennie
Have u register into the Yahoo? Yah, we can even have baby photos in the Yahoo filed according to your folder. Some mothers started the photos in the Yahoo already. Is tat wat u mean? If u still nt subscribe or i hv nt invited u, let me knw. Also, anyone can start any dbase, etc..in the Yahoo. Navigate thru the left menu n u can see some info in there already
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TinyFeet,
Yes I have subscribed to yahoo already after you sent me the invite. I mean chatting forum like what we are doing now, this is for mothers who are due in june, so do we continue to use this as way to exchange views, ideas etc?
 
Cactus
Thank you so so much for helping me retrieving matters regarding hospitalization. Really touch by your action all this while in this matter
happy.gif
TQ
 
mrswrx, I agree with morraine. must state terms in black and white. But I think no need to state scope of duties cos it may not be our advantage. later, the maid refuses to do anything outside the scope of their duty...

maid's first few months' of pay goes towards paying their debt owed to their agency...
 
Yo ladies, this thread really move fast. Have been MIA for quite long. Hai....need some advices from you gals. I recently hire a maid abt 3 mths ago, and she is slowly giving us problem.....2 days ago i was questioning her, how come she wanna send those clothes back to philippines that we given her? I told her these clothes are for her to wear in Singapore. Initally, she told me she dun like it then later part she told me wanna send bk for her hubby to wear since her hb no shorts?

I was puzzled and asked her...."Har....ur hubby wear your clothes? We didn't say these clothing are for your husband. Then no point giving you so many clothes"

The funniest part which i can't understand....she even wanted to send those shampoo and pickley powder bk + her air ticket information home. Then I asked her, why u wanna send all these thing bk? Ur family can't buy in philippines? she told me she dun like the shampoo, smell nt nice.....walao.....then i told her pls dun waste your money send uneccessary things. And she cannot be too choosy on those thing we provided her.

U know what? she was unhapi and show her temper towards me (show me her bad face). Then when i asked her, "what did i told you yesterday?" she answer me in a very very rude way:"I already forgot (with very black face)"

Gals, if u were me.....were you get angry and wanted to send her back? She becoming from bad to worse.....
 
Hi Fennie
I believe this thread in Motherhood will continue even after birth n keep going on, until members start leaving (which I hope not). For yahoo, when you chat thru the message mail, everyone gets to recd the email there (unless they have untick nt to recd email). So Yahoo is the secondary thread to chatting n for longterm safekeep. This thread is for primarily chatting only, but difficult to retrieve archives.
 
Babyjo, I dun have maid but I would definately send her back loh! Cos I believe maids cannot ride over employer's head! If not, how to work?!
 
<font color="ff0000">mrswrx*

yesh have to be clear so that to avoid future conflicts if any.. jus state watever u are not clear or have doubts in.. and yesh first 6 months usually are the period they are still paying off their loan so will have no off days and no pay or maybe if the pay is S$320 for instance den u pay her only S$20 den balance S$300 is used to offset the loan so she can have some spare cash to buy some things she needs..

and as for my first maid, i save every single cent for her in an account and when her 2 yrs contract was up, we just remit the money all over to phil side for her upon her instructions
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felicia,
got my draft scrapebook up oreadi, also the 1st mth baby invite ecard too. now pending oni bb's photo(s) to upload then can send out liao. i like embo / stitching but cant do now cos MIL very patang, no sewing, etc...so cant do tat.
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mrswrx,
tat makes the 2 of us in the same boat.

tat's abt a ttl of 3.5 wks yur hb is away. is he in the army / navy or airforce? mine is in navy, so always ve to sail when ict. it is not so bad if hb is contactable but i literally hates it when he cant be reach at all cos i dislike the feeling of not knowing wat is happening, the uncertainity, etc. not sure if i m making much sense here. i be watching tonnes of tvbi vcds, etc but it will still definitely gets bored.

tera,
nope, not intending to head back to maiden home to stay, cos kinda of far from my place, maiden home is in bedok n also no space there lar. + hb has arranged wif MIL for me to stay at her place in his absence, double whammy cos 1st i be bored to death n 2nd, ve to be on my toes at all times to make pleasant conversation...hb refused to let me stay at hm alone while he is away...
sad.gif


i cant head for BBK now cos my gf last min ve to undergo an op (doc found a blood cyst in her womb) urgently as it could be life threatening...so there goes my trip lor.
sad.gif
 
Cactus, i was sooooooo angry until i really release out. She was shocked when my voice was loud. Bcos these past 3 mths, whenever things she do wrongly i din rise my voice on her.......

Then when my hb was backed, he told her we are going to send her back. she cried until like dunno what, beg me not to send her back to agency. I asked her why? she said she scared to get a bad employer. I told her is ok with me bcos there are many maids for me to choose, but for her she can't choose who she wanna work with.

Bcos of her crying, my heart soften......then hesitiate again......walao...dunno how. then the next night when we are toking to her, she fainted in front of us. then told us bcos she was crying the whole night and din sleep....so feel giddy.......bcos of these my heart soften again....hai....
 
Babyjo
Agreed wif cactus
So fast the maid make problems already...u can change the maid if u not statisfied wif her work etc...at least 1 or 2 times a yr and it depends on which agency fee/contract you took.
 
Abt Filipino maids:
I really hear too much abt them and nthg positive fm all experiences even i dun have one.
1) My aunt's Filipino maid will steal and pack things n when another Filipino maid going back, they pass the bag for them to bring back. Cos my aunt is very old (80s) she will bluff my aunt there's no stock, etc.. thinking my aunt will forget. So yes, they are prone to sending things back home

2) There's also a syndicate of Filipinos that will meet the newer Filipinos n introduce them to old man for sex as casual income on their off days or days when the owners are working. They network at the playground and get to knw such

3) Filipino, once they season in S'pore n have their clicks, they will start answering u back cos they will share their problem wif the other maids n compare, n learn hw to talk back fr the teaching of the older maids.
 
danryan,
my bb was head-down on my last visit to gynae but since shifting of position 2 days back (i think tat was wat she was doing), she shd now in breech cos my bladder &amp; lower tummy dun feel pressed on anymore, instead, it is slightly below my breast area tat now feels bulk of the movements &amp; very heavy feeling too.
 
Babyjo, I think you cannot soften in front of her. I feel if you've already threatened to send her back, at most only give her 1 chance. And that's it. Sit down with her to discuss your expectations and find out if she has her concerns. If cannot come to mutual agreement, then send her back. If come to agreement already and in the future, she breaches it, then really send her back. Personally, that's what I feel lah. A good maid is an asset but a resentful maid can cause destruction in your family.

In my SIL's case, her maid didn't want to continue working.... so my SIL asked agency to talk to her. Agency persuaded her to stay - SIL wanted her to stay. Now, the maid actually scolds my MIL when my SIL not at home. I hear it all the time. She is also half hearted in how she looks after SIL's son. Not good loh.
 
hi ladies!

after a busy morning, finally got time to read all the posts. I saw that u all are discussing abt maids.

i went to hire a maid over the weekend. I chose an indonesian maid. no exp. $300 w/o day off. i'm going to put the maid at my mum's place to train first before bringing it over to my place....

for those who are hiring maids the first time, pls note that u have to attend a course. this is a requirement by MOM. but u attend it online....
 
My maid work is gd, but her character is really bad....i was telling my hb i rather get someone with gd character n yet dunno hw to do things (bcos i can train)....but my hb scared the new maid can't adapt as im gg to gv birth liao.....then my MIL said the same thing...later get someone teach her so many times still dunno, really vomit blood......bcos we hire the maid to help her out....

My maid no off day at all. bcos she say she dun want. even the agency also surprise......btw, no a gd thing to let them hv hp rite?

Hai...stress....first time hire maid, so many problem......
 
crystal
hopefully yr bb will go back to head-down position b4 delivery....my next check up will be on 31 Mar...can't wait to see her

cactus
yes, u can attend online which is $30 n $20 at Singapore Poly

Going out lunch now...see ya all later.
 


Babyjo, good attitude is more important that character leh. You don't want to be angry with the same person for 2 years right?! If you can change the maid once or twice, I think you should change this maid loh. but before you do so, you should sit the maid down to talk to her. Cos you arleady threatened to send her back. if you never carry out anything, she will think you only say say. But if you sit her down, and tell her, "if both of us not happy, then no point continue the relationship, let's trash things out so that we both know where we stand and see if we can continue this arrangement".
 
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